It's Just So... Public

I never thought I'd send my children to public school. I grew up in the public school system and did just fine- benefiting from advanced programs and classes- but when I became a parent, it just seemed the right thing to do would be private school. When my first son was only 6 months old I visited a private Christian school near our home. I was so sure that's where he'd go someday. I know no school is perfect, maybe even especially church schools. I attended one for a short time and kids are kids no matter if their parents are pastors or "Christians" or not. At the time I just thought this was what we were supposed to do.

As we had more children and the years went by and I continued to be a stay at home Mom, the reality of the financial aspects of sending two little ones to private school became more apparent. Well then, if we couldn't do private then for certain I'd just have to home school. Several families in our neighborhood home schooled and the homeschooling and "un" schooling community is quite large in our area. I grew up with home schooled friends and knew enough about it. Up until a month or so before Kindergarten registration I had my home school plan in place, complete with A Beka curriculum.

But it just didn't feel right. I had this feeling that, although homeschooling is very right for some families, I wasn't so sure it was right for mine. Hubby had a high opinion of our city's public schools and really wanted me to at least consider giving it a try. Just for this Kindergarten year- which was only half-day anyway- we'd try it out.

I anticipated a major hassle when we signed up for school because of our refusal to vaccinate. They didn't even bat an eye and accepted our own written exemption just fine. That first day of school I was ready for the littlest bad thing to happen so that I could take him right out and say it wasn't going to work. But the first week went by and things were going great. Soon we were into the next semester and all of a sudden getting ready for first grade.

I never saw this coming. This just wasn't in my original plans. I don't even know what I was afraid of in the first place, to be honest. But it was working out quite well anyway. I admit that I'm still on edge sometimes and annoyed by papers coming home asking the kids to sell something else this week. But I'm mostly ready in case something bad happens or seems like it might happen- whatever that may be. I think as long as I stay aware and involved, parenting children in the public school system can go smoothly even if you are an attached, natural, Christian Mama like me.

Original Chicago Moms Blog post.

Stephanie also blogs at Adventures In Babywearing and Close To Home.

Comments

[Nell @ Casual Friday Everyday]

Steph,

I can relate. Being a homeschool grad myself I always pictured homeschool or Christian school...possibly even a montessori, but never public school.

You hear so many bad things about public school. Some very true and some likely embelished. Our smaller local highschool arrested a couple boys who were plotting to kill their teacher. I know the dangers are all too real.

But, in any place where you have a bunch of kids there is likely a threat of violence. There really isn't a perfect solution. My opinion is it depends on each child.

I'm going back and forth between Christian/Montessori or homeschooling. It all depends on how many children we have and our finances. We may end up sending our kids to public school...I just don't know right now.

Being a parent is such a nerve racking thing, you know? You want to make sure you're doing everything you should or can to make their lives great...and sometimes we just won't know if we're making the right choices for them.

[dcrmom]

I'm so glad to know you are having a great experience. We are too. I have taught in a private Christian school, subbed and student taught in MANY public schools, and have many homeschooling friends. Every option has its pros and cons, and I'd be lying if I didn't admit to second guessing our decision from time to time. But for now it's working. It is so refreshing to hear a Christian parent having a good experience in public school. I see so much negativity, and sometimes it's a little hard to swallow, in all honesty. Thanks for being willing to speak up!

[crookedeyebrow]

I too thought the same thing, he must go to a private school. We did. It was horrible, even more so because of my child having ADHD. In a private school, I do not believe that they have to have some kind of "special" education. Although my son did not need these services, they were not available. Also, the parochial school that we went to was #1 very expensive and #2 had nothing but fundraisers and things you had to buy or time you had to commit to school activites. I felt they put the importance on keeping the church and school funded rather than education. Finally, a public school will have aides for the teachers, as private schools may not. JC's kindergarten class at a private school had over 22 kids and one teacher. Nothing but trouble... Like I say, my feelings. I could go on and on.

But, in the public school system that we are in, has been nothing but wonderful. JC is above average in reading and math and his teachers push him to do more, not sit back while the rest of the class catches up. This was unheard of in our private school.

So great topic, but in the end I suppose it just boils down to what works best for your child and your own family.

[amy]

I said the same thing Steph about sending my son to school when he was little. Only private school, no way will he ever go to public school.

He went to a private Christian school and he was so unhappy. A group of kids picked on him so bad everyday it was terrible.Nothing was ever done about the harassment because the ring leader was the peachers son.

When he was finally put into a wonderful public school system known in the area for people moving there just for the schools, he was so happy and the teachers were awesome and respected our Christian views at Halloween time and other times too.

We have since moved to a smaller public school top 5 in the state for ISTEPS and you would think you were in a Christian school. All the kids are involved in the local church group and the staff is not afraid to mention God or the Lord, everyone is so close. I've never experienced anything like this in a public school. Your husband is right about this area and schools they are good.

I've had teachers of my son tell me every year they can't believe how involved I am, they wish every parent was like me. This blows me away every time I hear this. Where are the parents????

Steph your children can have an awesome experience in public school just like my son has as long as you are involved. And I know you will be!

[Drea]

I agree 100% steph. very encouraging post for me. thanks!

[electric boogaloo]

I'm on a home/unschooling bandwagon right now, with the full realization that life changes. I admire your openness to new endeavors. And I'm pretty thrilled for you that your vax exemption didn't cause a hullabaloo!

[Lisa]

Thanks for the post, Steph. We are really struggling with this right now. The girls have all been in private school since preschool, and now we need to send our oldest off to public highschool, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared. It was good to hear all the positive comments.

[hyperactive lu]

i also struggle with this decision. hubbie is 100% for schooling at home. i was home schooled and loved the experience and i am so thankful for the sacrifice of my parents. like you, my parents couldn't afford 3 kids in private school. when we moved to the south, my parents realized that the schools were AWFUL. i mean BAD! they felt the Lord calling them to homeschooling. it worked for us. my hubbie was in public ALL the way. he excelled, etc... i am sending bubbie to pre k this year. half way i feel guilty, because i do think we could do more at home and save the money. thanks for the open and honest post. i agree... you just have to make your own decision, believe it and go!

[hyperactive lu]

i also struggle with this decision. hubbie is 100% for schooling at home. i was home schooled and loved the experience and i am so thankful for the sacrifice of my parents. like you, my parents couldn't afford 3 kids in private school. when we moved to the south, my parents realized that the schools were AWFUL. i mean BAD! they felt the Lord calling them to homeschooling. it worked for us. my hubbie was in public ALL the way. he excelled, etc... i am sending bubbie to pre k this year. half way i feel guilty, because i do think we could do more at home and save the money. thanks for the open and honest post. i agree... you just have to make your own decision, believe it and go!

[abbyjess]

I so appreciate this post. As a former public school 1st grade teacher (6 years), I'm always surprised how negatively public schools are viewed. There are more and more
parents that are afraid of how public schools will "change" their child and afraid that the teachers won't respect their beliefs and feelings. Most public school teachers are teachers because we love children and want them to be the best they can be, and we understand that the parent(s) is/are the most important person(s) in a child's life.

Public school, or any school for that matter, is what you make of it. I get so frustrated when I hear parents saying that public schools aren't doing enough for their child... Education is the responsibility of the whole village from teachers to parents to grandparents to community volunteers. The more involved parents are in their child's education (both inside and outside the school environment), the better the education the child will receive no matter the setting.

It also disheartens me to see the anti-public school trend growing amongst attachment parents. It's as though they feel the two can't co-exist. I'm a babywearing, breastfeeding,sometimes co-sleeping, stay-at home, attached mom and that won't change when my baby enters public school. (Although I hopefully won't be breastfeeding by then.) I intend to be highly involved in his education... I'll likely even annoy some of his teachers. However, both his future teachers and I will know that my son is better off because of my involvement even when we do get on each other's nerves.

Of course, the decision on how and where to educate their child is a parent's right. And as long as the child is thriving, I try not to judge.

Oh and one more thing, teachers hate doing all the fundraisers too. It's more work and
we have to decide just how many students we can afford to buy from.

[Beth]

Yes, yes, and yes. I always assumed we 'd go with private school. And then I taught in a Montessori school so I assumed we'd go with a private Montessori school. And now, a few years later we're moving with one main priority - to be able to put our kids in public school. My husband and I are both products of public schools and I think it's right for us.

[Chrissy Witt]

This is on-going for me! When #1 was born it was going to be public school. As school-age approached it was homeschool, curriculum bought and ready, then change of plan send him to private school! Then after two years another change of plan, Homeschool and #2 was homeschool for pre K then another change of plan public school, then another change of plan send 2 to public school (and in a lower grade than cut-off dates say, because I am the mom and I have that choice)and #3 to private school. I have always been concerned about my childrens education, but I would never use the word scared, just concerned I have always and will always want the best for them. The best isn't always the same as last time!

[Catherine]

Hey, I did abeka for a few years as a kid - good times. :)

I totally go back and forth on the school thing - though my child is not yet two years old. I have a feeling we'll be joining you at public school, thought its hard for me too to believe...

[Rayven]

i'm a public school grad who decided to homeschool. I got overwhelmed one year and sent them to public school (private schools in this area take all the expelled public school students....kinda pointless) for a grand total of one year....that was all I could take.

I got so sick of the lunch lady badgering my daughter about her healthy nuts and berries type lunches. She actually told my 6 year old that she couldnt bring in nuts to school anymore because they didn't have any protein...she'd have to pack bologna. She came home in tears.

Every week there was another "little" thing that bothered me, until finally, the straw that broke the camel's back was the Christmas show.

I could handle the fact that they did not have any of the kids sing any religious Christian (or Kwanza for that matter) songs, but every single grade sang a religious Jewish song in an attempt to overcompensate.

I could handle the songs sung in Spanish.

What got to me was when the 5th graders sang a song about Christmas not being good enough if you didnt "Spend-Spend-Spend" and how you should only pay with credit cards..."Don't worry! You don't have to think about them until January!". I yanked my kids out of school the same day.

We're back to homeschooling, and happy with that. But it isn't for everyone.

Good luck!

[Sarah]

Did you consider taking elements of two or more and mixing them together?

When I was a kid, my parents didn't have the financial freedom to do anything but send us to public school, something they never thought they'd do. But my mother realized very early on that she didn't really like all of the aspects of public education. She also didn't think she was cut out for 100% homeschooling. So she mixed and matched.

She contacted the local public schools and told them what her plan was. They approved. Then she took us out of school one day a week, and mixed it up so that other kids didn't notice a pattern. She homeschooled us for an hour or two after school and helped us with our homework from public school. On the days that she took us out of school, she planned a homeschooling field trip and then homeschooled us the rest of the day. On Saturday mornings we went to German school.

In the end, it worked out very well for us. By the time we were in high school, each of us was able to apply to public high schools that were better than the local ones. We tested and we got in, so my parents had a farther commute for us in high school but at least they were happy with where we were. Throughout high school, my mother continued to enroll us in independent study courses and then she enrolled us in university courses and did some homeschooling on the side.

Mixing and matching isn't for everyone, but sometimes it can really help if you don't have the resources to only homeschool or only private school and you aren't too fond of only public school. I'm in the same boat as my parents. And I guess that mixing and matching is probably what I'll be doing too.

[Amber Stevens]

Kaelin's only 14 mos old, but I am thinking like you were early on...homeschool (don't know if we'll have the $$ for Christian). I don't stay home now, but hope to in the next year or so, so my teacher self can be teaching my own kiddo for Christ!

[linda]

I also faced the same decisions with my kids. We started in Catholic school from pre-k. In kindergarten, my kids were very bored so I pulled them out and home schooled them for the rest of the year. First grade, they went to a public magnet school which was disastrous.Back to Catholic school for two more years and finally, to the local public school where they stayed until we moved and were forced to put transfer them.
They are in a public high school now (a selective enrollment one) and while they are safe and getting a fairly decent education, the school could do better in many ways.
I think the point is to first, find a good fit for your child and second, stay involved with the school and also with the childs social life, at all cost. Some schools do not encourage this (the high schools want parents to encourage independence so don't really reach out as much as they should).
Looking back, my only regret was in fact the magnet school.
If you have young kids, take it from me,do what is right for your own children. Public schools offer lots of opportunities that the Catholic school just couldn't afford. Depending on the private school, the class rooms are smaller and the community tighter which is also important. My advise is to investigate the school, sit in on classrooms,
go to parent meetings as a community member-even volunteer if you have time and talk to other parents whose children go to the school you are considering.Thats the best way to see what is really going on.

[Stephanie]

Thanks for the thoughtful post. Our daughter is only 1 1/2, but we have already started discussing the "school" question. I was homeschooled through high school, then attended a private high school, then a public university. My husband had a mix of public, private, and homeschool in K-8, went to a private high school, and then to a public university. We have a great public school system where we live, but I still have worries in the back of my mind. I think private school would probably be my first choice, but there are so many things to consider (finances, commute, etc.). Thank you for letting all of us know that public schools CAN work...even for "attached, natural, Christian mamas." :)

[annaliza]

i'm right along with these other great moms! there's not a month that goes by that i don't think about pulling my kids from public school to put them in a private or homeschool. its influenced by the widely publicized negativity.

we're a christian home, heavily involved in our children's lives and praising God for his protection on our children.

yes, thank you, thank you for speaking up from a positive, loving, christian mom's perspective on this topic!