-- BEYOND THE LIMITS --

JOKIN........

2011-08-15T10:06:00.000-07:00

Impossible to Please --

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."

They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.

There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."

JOKE

2011-08-15T09:52:00.000-07:00

A couple were married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules. "I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want," he insisted. "And, I don't expect any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal to be on the table every evening, unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing with my buddies whenever I want. Those are my rules," he said. "Any comments?" His new bride replied, "No, that's fine with me. But, just understand that there'll be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."

ha ah ah aha ha ah

2011-08-15T09:47:00.001-07:00

A lecturer teaching medicine was giving a classoom observation. He took out a jar of yellow liquid. "This," he explained, "is urine. To be a doctor, you have to be observant of color, smell, sight, and taste."

After saying so, he dipped his finger into the jar and put it into his mouth. His class watched in amazement, most in disgust. But being
the good students that they were, the jar was passed, and one by one, they dipped their finger into the jar and put it into their mouths.

After the last student was done, the lecturer shook his head. "If any of you had been observant, you would have noticed that I put my second finger into the jar and my third finger into my mouth."

HA HA HA

2011-08-15T07:39:00.001-07:00


Blonde paint job--
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

LOL****

2011-08-15T07:35:00.001-07:00


The bride tells her husband--
The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?" "OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the prisoner in the prison. And then they made love for the first time. Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction. Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped." Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him." After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!" The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently born foal. Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted. She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again." Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence, OKAY!

JOKE

2011-08-15T07:30:00.000-07:00

Poor guy--

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

dancing cockatoo

2011-08-15T07:11:00.000-07:00

CAN U DANCE LIKE THIS??????????????????

-- LOOK LOOK --

2011-07-08T01:15:00.000-07:00

Have a look at this man i don't know what is he trying to do

I don't care have fun my dear.

-- SILLY WOMEN --

2011-07-06T03:03:00.000-07:00

Single women always complain that good men are taken, whereas married women complain about their husbands.

Bottom line:
Women will never stop complaining.

-- TRIP TO LAOS --

2011-06-30T02:49:00.000-07:00

laos

more pics...

-- LIFE --

2011-06-28T17:29:00.000-07:00

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different

fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up

on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are

below average.

6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without

enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the

second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only

culture most people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign

of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from

vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a

couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-
kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way,

you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

-- TRUE LOVE LETTER --

2011-06-26T05:01:00.000-07:00

-- I RESPECT HIS FEELINGS --

WHICH COUNTRY IS BETTER -- INDIA OR PAKISTAN???????

2011-06-24T09:06:00.000-07:00

Pakistan is a Islamic country, that's why you people feel it is difficult for women to travel, but this is not the case. Second, Pakistan's image is more discussed in international media. Third, all world feel Pakistan is a responsible country:
- Responsible for 9/11;
- Responsible for 7/7;
- Responsible for North Korea Missile program;
- Responsible for North Korea Atomic program;
- Responsible for Afghan war;
- Responsible for IraNuclearar program;
- Responsible foLibya's's atomic program;
- Responsible for feeding Iraq's bomb blasts.
- And off coursese, for Kashmir dispute (which is core issue between Pakistan andIndia)
People don't know Pakistan has been ranked # 1 in deploying its army for peace for united nations for many years. (http://www.un.org/depts/dpko/contributor…
Pakistan's missile program is far more effective than India. Its economy is moderate over its population. Most of the people in Pakistan are of middle class. Anindependent source added, there were only 2,200,000 - 3,000,000 people in Pakistan which were "poor". 100,000,000 million people out of 160,000,000 million use mobile phones. PTCL (Pakistan Telecommunication Company Limited) has introduced a revolutionary DSL broad band connection on every fixed telephone line whereever you are. There is a short fall of electricity in the country, but Government is committed to build 4 more atomic energy plants and 14 small scale dams and one large dam - Bhasha Dam (the biggest of the world).
Saying India superpower in 20 years; than I assure you, Pakistan will be the next one to challenge India because both countries have their own rich history to challenge themselves, though it is in battle fields in white rocks of Galcier or in green ground of cricket!

LOVE

2011-06-03T00:10:00.000-07:00

LOVE is the madicine for all kinds of pain in the world BUT be sure that there is no medicine in the world for the pain given by LOVE....."D α я k η є s s"

WE R SMOKERS.......

2011-06-01T00:02:00.000-07:00

YEAH I LIKE IT--WE R SMOKIES

Is it possible to sign in two different facebook profiles from a computer at the same time?

2011-05-25T20:06:00.000-07:00

Answer- yes this is 100% possible, use different browsers to login in different profiles.

like internet explorer, Google chrome, safari,etc.. u can choose according to ur comfort.

what do u thinks ---Nepal is a good place to live??

2011-05-24T23:17:00.000-07:00

Can volcano again disturb the Europe

2011-05-24T22:53:00.000-07:00

The ash plume from Iceland's erupting volcano, which peaked at 20 kilometres (12 miles) three days ago, has shrunk to two kilometres and could disappear by the weekend.

i will punch u ---

2011-05-23T00:43:00.000-07:00

that's my style

EXAM TENSION

2011-05-22T23:43:00.000-07:00

tensed childhood

MY YOUNG BRO. -- PUNISHMENT

2011-05-22T22:55:00.000-07:00