tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-71479642025-01-24T12:34:22.629+08:00dedicated to the Democracy, and Freedom of Comedy<br> <br> if u are a stand-up hopeful... and live in Singapore... Leave a blogspot comment!!! (i can't shout that out LOUD enough. Lah.))Jeff! Limhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510177873556947578noreply@blogger.comBlogger303125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147964.post-57997218925908190742008-11-04T12:34:00.004+08:002008-11-04T12:40:53.760+08:00

This one courtesy of Comedy Central's "Joke of the Day"... (I weed out the good stuff for you guys ;)):Because Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym, his wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin?" His wife is

Jeff! Limhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510177873556947578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147964.post-82968497742529556172008-10-16T19:57:00.002+08:002008-10-16T20:03:56.536+08:00

What is "normal" to most of us? Normal is...Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.- Ellen Goodman

Jeff! Limhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510177873556947578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147964.post-54239289466796370302008-09-13T15:25:00.003+08:002008-09-13T15:45:22.856+08:00

(via IdleBanter August 2008):Making his way toward Paris one day in 1524, the impecunious French humanist and writer Francois Rabelais found himself stranded at a country inn with no means to continue his journey, never mind to pay his bill.He assembled three small packets - labeled "Poison for the King," "Poison for Monsieur," and "Poison for the Dauphin" - and left them wehere the innkeeper was

Jeff! Limhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510177873556947578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147964.post-32979869632605393622008-08-03T15:09:00.010+08:002008-08-03T16:43:27.809+08:00

What a party it was, on Saturday 26 2008, when a party of many turned up to try to arrest "Fugitive Rice" (makes narrow escape in Auckland).From the front page of Indymedia (Independent Media Center):United States Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice made a narrow escape from justice, with the assistance of the New Zealand Police, in Auckland on Saturday 26 July. The police can now consider

Jeff! Limhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510177873556947578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147964.post-84352473831469805482008-07-16T20:33:00.001+08:002008-07-16T20:35:16.391+08:00

Another Comedy Central "Joke of the Day" hit...Oooolllllld LawyerA lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. To his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was, and greeted him warmly.Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and

Jeff! Limhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510177873556947578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147964.post-47131453975406770412008-07-16T20:25:00.003+08:002008-07-16T20:33:22.809+08:00

This is a long time coming in a series of Comedy Central's "Joke of the Day"s that were either not funny, or at best mediocre...The popular muleA newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. While they were walking through the barn, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her

Jeff! Limhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510177873556947578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147964.post-53459033058288194572008-05-14T02:16:00.002+08:002008-05-14T02:20:57.352+08:00

This, is a bit about expectations, and "set" mindsets...A husband and wife went for counseling after 20 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade, listing every problem they had ever had in the 20 years they had been married.She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable; an

Jeff! Limhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510177873556947578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147964.post-21347468152625598212008-04-22T01:28:00.001+08:002008-04-22T01:32:09.258+08:00

Would those of you in the cheaper seats clap your hands? And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry. - John Lennon:)

Jeff! Limhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510177873556947578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147964.post-9493632503609592052008-04-22T01:11:00.002+08:002008-04-22T01:14:46.692+08:00

KFC: Our Daily ChickenA salesman from KFC walked up to the Pope and offers him a million dollars if he would change "The Lord's Prayer" from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken." The Pope refused his offer.Two weeks later, the man offered the pope 10 million dollars to change it from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken"

Jeff! Limhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510177873556947578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147964.post-49037309238538359062008-04-18T19:55:00.004+08:002008-04-22T01:20:45.928+08:00

from Quotable quotes of the day:Politics is the art of preventing people from taking part in affairs which properly concern them.- Paul ValerySound familiar to you? ;) Anyway, I've blogged about another definition of politics here, on "I, Am A Comedian" as well (so see that link for more quotable fun). Here's wishing you the best (and non-violent) life, wherever you may live!!!

Jeff! Limhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510177873556947578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147964.post-27345062157649400262008-04-14T21:18:00.005+08:002008-04-18T20:15:08.841+08:00

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building

Jeff! Limhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510177873556947578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147964.post-79887484829985855872008-04-12T13:30:00.001+08:002008-04-12T13:30:47.602+08:00

as seen elsewhere: (don't hit the messenger!!! ;))An American tourist was visiting a temple in Singapore when he noticed two statues of a man and a woman by the altar.He asked the monk what was the significance of the two. The monk explained that in the Chinese system of yin and yang, positives must always be balanced by negatives, and having the two statues ensured that the universal balance was

Jeff! Limhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510177873556947578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147964.post-55726489840131748402008-04-10T00:03:00.002+08:002008-04-10T00:18:01.661+08:00

Presenting the latest craze to hit Japan, and be a top hit among schoolgirls, the newest (and definitely one of the whackiest) game and toy ever for the Wii, the Super Pii Pii Brothers!!!A video says a million (and a picture says a thousand ;)) words, so why don't we let the following video speak for itself? :)Does this gross you out? :P I dunno, but I'm sure it'll help women appreciate the joys

Jeff! Limhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510177873556947578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147964.post-27954411217125708622008-04-09T23:31:00.004+08:002008-04-09T23:36:55.307+08:00

And I wonder why... Until I get some more information from an insider, though, I can't say for sure that this zoo is waay better in terms of creativity. For all we know, this could be the same show that the locals get to see every year as well....

Jeff! Limhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510177873556947578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147964.post-9369070607883370612008-04-07T21:46:00.002+08:002008-04-07T21:50:47.763+08:00

..a dog with no legs?Where you left it.

Jeff! Limhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510177873556947578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147964.post-42363359879591247992008-04-04T00:45:00.006+08:002008-04-04T02:02:36.262+08:00

You wake me up early in the morning to tell me I am right? Please wait until I am wrong.- Johann von NeumannI guess von Neumann (as he might be more commonly known or called) was a very confident man now, wasn't he? :) And judging from the list of his contributions, I'd say the man had reason to be... His contributions have spanned a vast range of fields. (Or perhaps that was the reason for this

Jeff! Limhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510177873556947578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147964.post-41303257314523873372008-04-03T00:06:00.004+08:002008-04-22T01:23:16.010+08:00

The love of truth lies at the root of much humor.- Robertson DaviesNot completely true, but oftentimes, it's about the plausibility of things that makes it funny...

Jeff! Limhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510177873556947578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147964.post-69110452998232307322008-03-20T18:03:00.003+08:002008-03-20T18:32:12.902+08:00

Fantastic, these people...For recruitment ads, is it legal to exclude guys with ICT liability?For example, is it legal to include such a line for recruitment ads."Male with ICT liabilities need not apply" We are a fast pace company so cannot allow any disruptions to the work flow.Aren't you glad there are such companies around? No wait, such SINGAPOREANS around!!!!How did this even happen in the

Jeff! Limhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510177873556947578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147964.post-32427339722800560692008-03-12T00:13:00.004+08:002008-04-22T01:24:41.778+08:00

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.- Robert X. CringelyNote about the "exploding once a year" thing - we probably need to update that with our current knowledge of the current family of Windows operating systems! I'll bet it's more than once

Jeff! Limhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510177873556947578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147964.post-65582357848112610532008-03-08T20:16:00.004+08:002008-03-08T20:27:05.531+08:00

sorry, but I just had to say it... :)If you missed the last episode of "The Celebrity Apprentice" (this is episode 10, btw), you reeally should see it. I don't want to spoil it all for you (so I won't give out any spoilers here), but suffice it to say that you should watch it alll the way TO THE END... And check out the preview of the next episode as well (so don't just switch it off once you see

Jeff! Limhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510177873556947578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147964.post-65460896104117143532008-03-06T15:31:00.003+08:002008-03-06T15:35:52.904+08:00

Fresh off the Comedy Central "Joke of the Day" machine, and meaningfully "QA-ed", and verified as "good! ;)" by yours truly....A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you're first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?"Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor.""That's wonderful. How about you, Amie?" Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet

Jeff! Limhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510177873556947578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147964.post-14567450837992599282008-03-02T00:51:00.005+08:002008-03-02T01:02:09.038+08:00

a whooole slew of forum threads from hardwarezone's Current Affairs Lounge....100% accurate solution on how JI Terrorist escapedCost of an honest mistakeJI detainee escapes from detention centreWong Kang Seng Says JI Detainee's Escape Due To Security LapseInterpol to help catch a LIMP manand many more....And now finally, a destination NOT to go to as well!!!Other than that, Singapore is honestly

Jeff! Limhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510177873556947578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147964.post-55050004138220616262008-02-21T17:56:00.003+08:002008-02-22T01:42:06.687+08:00

Ok, Comedy Central calls this one "Three Nuns", but I thought my own naming for this one might be more suitable... I dunno - you be the judge!!!Three nuns decided to quit so they went to the Mother Superior and said, "We don't want to be nuns anymore, how do we quit?" The mother told them, "Do something unholy and come back here in 24 hours." So the nuns left thinking, "What can I do that's

Jeff! Limhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510177873556947578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147964.post-88622655052956367022008-02-20T16:29:00.004+08:002008-02-20T16:44:58.798+08:00

Happened to surf into this while searching for stuff on google:This is in the University of Maryland, MD USA, so too bad for us folks who live too far away, and won't be able to take the time out to fly down there personally to attend this!!! I just wish there was like a live cam or something - make the event and goings on viewable to the rest of the public as well...Oh well!!!The synopsis is as

Jeff! Limhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510177873556947578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147964.post-64933326886049291812008-02-19T22:45:00.005+08:002008-02-20T12:07:28.548+08:00

Forgive me for being a real skeptic, but does this newfangled thing ("innovative"*??? Hardly!!!) really spell "new fantastic social interaction" for your kids? (see video below)Ok, perhaps (and that's a Very BIG perhaps!!!) it does, but for how long, one wonders? Take a look at the kids in the video - one really doubts that these little guys and girls are really enjoying what they are acting to

Jeff! Limhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17510177873556947578noreply@blogger.com0