-Little Things Add Up-

Accepting Parenting equals Bad Parenting?

2011-04-18T23:49:00.002-04:00

Let me start off by apologizing for virtually being a ghost lately. The semester is nearing the end and I am BEYOND stressed so my head has been either buried deep within one of the many books I need in order to survive this semester, or deep in a bottle of vodka [on the weekends] to numb the stress of the impending doom that IS called FINALS. Though I figured I need to step away from the school stress and blog on a really good topic that I just ran across.

So I will do that now...

So I was on MediaTakeOut and they had an article about Gwen Stefani and her son Kingston. If you don't feel like checking out the link I'll just tell you the title. "Pics: Gwen Stefani Got Her 6 Year-Old Son A Pedicure...Painted His Toe Nails!! (Is It Time For Child Services Yet)." Now before I get into my opinion on the "article" (I use that term loosely) I'll start by saying that I know that MediaTakeOut is (for lack of better words) a "shit-starting" blog. They do nothing but stir up shit, and most of it ends up being false information anyways. But this article really got to me. I remember reading a few other articles about Gwen and her son that were pretty much the same as this. They either insinuate she's a bad parent or that she's forcing her son to be a homo because she is completely accepting of how he wants to express himself. Now I don't know 100% concrete facts about Gwen's family because I don't personally know them , but I can safely assume that how her son dresses and how his hair is and all that stuff isn't something that's being FORCED. I doubt it's really even being thought about as much as other people are thinking about it. I personally love this kids style, I wish I had that much swag when I was 6 years old (hell I wish I had that much swag NOW, at 19 years old.

The thing that I hate the most is that I don't just hear this stuff online. It's no secret that MediaTakeOut is catered to a black audience, and I have no problem with that. It's also no secret that I'm [half] black myself, which again, I have no problem with that [obviously lol]. But the thing that bothers me is that I hear this argument ALL the time. I know it's not JUST in the black community, but I feel the voice is much stronger within the black community. There literally isn't a day that goes by that I don't hear some kind of "rule" about what a boy can't do because it'll "make him a girl" or a "sissy" or "gay". There's like this box that people are so afraid to let themselves travel out of. It's like if you are someone who expresses themselves in a way that isn't JUST like what "men" are supposed to do...you're gay and your parents are wrong for letting it happen. While Willow Smith is PRAISED for being so different. While people are quick to joke around about Jayden Smith's sexuality because he wears animal print skinny jeans. Both children are doing the exact same thing [expressing themselves and being individuals] but the outcomes are seen differently.

It kills me to see people question a CHILD'S [or anyone else's] sexuality just because they are different from the "norm". I'm not completely innocent when it comes to this. If I see someone [mostly older people who aren't children] who is either a guy who is into "girly" stuff or a girl who is a tomboy I'll wonder [to myself] about their sexuality. I'll never deny that. I've always said that I AM a judgmental person, but I don't let my initial judgments of someone prevent me from getting to know who they actually are. I've met guys who say they are straight but are into Nicki Minaj and Lady Gaga and watch Glee and wear skinny jeans and have REALLY good hair, and yeah I might have the thought "you're definitely a homo" in the back of my head at first, if he tells me that he's straight and he's into girls...I'll 100% respect that and believe it. Though I have been in the situation where a guy cries straight then it's 2am and we're texting or IM'ing and he automatically becomes "curious" about gay stuff, then the next thing I know it he has 3 ex boyfriends and enjoys a stiff dick down his throat. So even though there are those cases where my judgments become valid, I don't validate them myself. I let the person validate them for me.

It seems that it's every day that a homo is crying that the world needs to be more accepting, but the cries are legit. The world DOES need to be more accepting. Hell, it doesn't even have to go that far. The world needs to just mind their fucking business. A lot more people would be happier if they quit stressing and ranting about what other people are doing with themselves. If people spent less time putting other people down. If we all just minded our own fucking business, it really wouldn't matter if a man goes home and blows his boyfriend until the sun comes up. It wouldn't matter if a chick goes home and muff dives while her gf watches Grey's Anatomy. It wouldn't matter if that hot chick at the bar has a dick that she spent all afternoon tucking to perfection. Shit just WOULDN'T MATTER because we'd all be too busy worrying about our fucking selves instead of crying that Gwen Stefani is a bad parent just because her son is HAPPILY walking down the street with painted toenails.

I really need to get a life.

2011-04-04T03:54:00.003-04:00

This has been on my mind all day and I figured I could just block it out until i eventually forgot about it. But it's 4am and i can't sleep, so it has to be talked about.

I know almost all my posts mention my ex, but that's currently my life. I hate saying I miss him bc it's been SO long, but I also hate trying to say that I DON'T miss him. It's kind of complicated [in my head] because I miss him, I won't lie about that. But I miss who I was when I was with him more than actually missing him. Not that who I was was more important or he was just there and that's all he was, but I think I've gotten over the whole "omg I miss you and I want you back and blah blah blah".

So last night I got pretty wasted. I've been making the mistake of drinking really fast lately. Not because I feel the need to drink drink drink, but we ALWAYS pregame before going out and with me I have to kind of drink a lot in order to get a good buzz. Though the past few weekends I've been getting to my cousins house kind of late and I have to cram in like 3 hrs of drinking within 1 hour in order to get to be bar and have a reasonable amount of time there. So long story short I've been rushing which has been leading to me getting WAYY too drunk WAY too fast. So last night I was pretty drunk and I got to drunk texting people. I sent texts to a couple people and my ex was one of them. I didn't really mean anything when I texted him I just wanted to talk to people [i was drinking grey goose and red bull at the bar which always spikes my energy for like a hour after i get home and then i crash lol]. So I texted him and then I went on facebook and I started to miss him. I also have a lot of stress with school and some family stuff that was just really getting to me so I began to be a huge drama queen and proceeded to cry. If I'm being completely honest, I don't even know why I was crying. I know the three things mentioned above were on my mind and then the waterworks started in. I don't know why or even how but the next thing I know I am in bed hugging gordon. Now Gordon is a teddy bear that I got from my ex on my first date ever. Gordon is also my ex's middle name, hence why I named the teddy bear that. [i'm SO clever right? right.]

So that happens, and then I get a text from my ex today and he said he was sorry he didn't reply but he had been up goofing around with his bf and when I texted they had just began cuddling on their way to sleep [or something along those lines, don't quote me]. What I got from that was I was being a dramatic drama cry baby queen and was clutching a gift from him while he was in a romantic embrace with his current boyfriend. I've never felt more stupid in my entire life. Nothing against him or his bf. They're honestly cute together, but I still felt dumb. I say it all the fucking time but I need to get my happy back. I know he wasn't the reason I was happy, but him being there was motivation to do things that lead to my happiness within myself. I wish I wouldn't have taken the break up as hard as I did because I believe the day we broke up was the day I stopped moving towards my happy. I let those events bring my life to a screeching halt and I haven't had the strength to get the wheels fully rolling ever since. Losing motivation is the worst.

I hate how I have the WORST writers block on my english paper [that i should be doing right now] but this shit is coming out like water. It's an evaluation essay, and she said that I could evaluate a specific moment in my life, maybe I should evaluate my first relationship lol [that peer review would be fun lol] [omfg I think I'm gonna do it. though she'll probably be sick of me talking about being gay lol my first essay was about the art of attraction vs the art of judgment and then I did an essay on what it really means to be a man. both of which had tons of homosexual themes. fuck it, I'm doing it lol.

I liked you better when you were single.

2011-03-29T23:36:00.003-04:00

Before I start this post I just gotta say that I don't mean this directly to anyone in particular. The title isn't something that i REALLY feel, I just found myself saying that about a few people while I was reading status updates on twitter recently lol. Also, I am going to sound like a completely bitter bitch, and maybe I am...but they're just words gathered together in a blog, they really have no weight. I promise.

So there's this girl I know, I wouldn't really call her a friend since we were never really close enough for that, who has recently got into a relationship and I can't stand it. I mean I don't really CARE because first of all she has a vagina so her relationship status doesn't affect me any way shape or form, but it's just the stuff she posts now is so annoying. Before she got into the relationship I really enjoyed her updates. Some of them were bitter bitch status, which I of course loved but aside from those she would update with really good stuff. Stuff I'd immediately find myself laughing at or liking, I just enjoyed what she posted. Then she gets into a relationship and it's likeshe turned into the exact person she talked about hating. It's not even like before she was bitching about something JUST because she couldn't have it. There's one thing to be happily with someone but it's another thing when you have to post every single aspect of your relationship online. The happy times are super super happy and the sad times are super super sad. It's like the bitch became bi-polar over night. Now I know relationships are a lot to deal with and the emotions are crazy, but I simply liked her better when she was single. Simple.

It also seems like a hand full of my somewhat close friends are just now finding guys. Which is annoying in the sense that I don't have a guy...but that's a different story for a different day lol. But it's like they spent so long crying and complaining that they were single and now they have a guy who likes them and wants to be with them and they're doing everything in their power to ruin it. They'll ignore him because they feel like he doesn't want to talk to them. Or they'll bitch and moan about every single insecurity they have which only makes them even more insecure which I can bet does nothing short of pushes the guy away. I've only been in one relationship, and if you ask the majority of the people who knew about it they'll call it a "relationship" which I guess means I have no experience what so ever, but when I was in the "relationship" i did all the stuff I'm talking about so I know how it is, but it just ANNOYS me. I think it annoys me because it's not just one person I'm dealing with. It's not just a good friend that I'm being the shoulder to cry on. I mean I AM in that situation but that doesn't annoy me. It just seems like it's way too many people doing the exact same thing and I'm on the other end just listening. Listen listen listen, that's all I do. It's no ones fault but myself, but that doesn't mean that it shouldn't get annoying...because it does.

And if you come to me with your relationship problems and you read this, don't feel like I'm putting this out there as a hint for you to stop coming to me. I don't mind at all. Honestly. It's not YOU that's annoying me, it's the situation that's annoying me. I love you all dearly, unless I don't...and if I don't love you, you definitely know it already lol

Once upon a dream.

2011-03-27T13:35:00.003-04:00

So last night I had one of the greatest dreams I've had in awhile. It's the kind of dream that was so amazing that once I woke up I became sad upon the realization that it was, and forever will be, just a dream.

The dream started off as another typical night out at the bar. Drinks were coming, and I was just having a good time. Then Tony showed up and we said or usual hello and he went on to say hi to anyone else he knew. The night progressed at it's normal pace until Tony came over and told me he wanted to talk to me alone. So we go out to his car and we're talking. It's normal "how have you been" talking until he changes the subject and starts telling me that he has feelings for me and that he can tell that I feel the same way. He says he never thought of himself as gay or bi but he also never felt the way he does when he's around me or even thinks about me. Then he says he doesn't know what will come of it, but he wants us to be together and I happily agree. This is where the dream skips great and goes straight to AMAZING. We don't kiss, make out, or have sex in his backseat like we would if this was a normal dream [trust me i have those all the time] but instead we get out of the car and go back into the bar, but before we get to the door he grabs my hand and we walk into the bar together, holding hands. Once we get inside I don't know if no one noticed the fact that we were holding hands or if they just didn't care, but no one said anything as we stood together talking. I don't know what we were talking about but whatever it was Tony enjoyed it because he was smiling and the next thing I knew, he kissed me. Right in the middle of the bar where pretty much everyone knows him, he kiss me. Though again, no one really said anything. Sure there was feedback but none of it was really negative.

Then some drunk guy came up and asked if he were together. I guess Tony knew him because they started talking for a minute. I guess the guy wasn't saying what Tony wanted to hear because you can see that he was starting to get mad. The next thing I know I'm hearing the drunk guy say the word "faggot" and all of a sudden he is knocked out on the floor because Tony knocked him out. [Then the bartender runs over and yells "We need a BUS!" like he was a cop or something lol Gotta love watching Law and Order SVU way too much that people in your dreams start using the lingo lol]

It was like no one seen Tony do it so we go back to talking and Tony kept apologizing to me for doing that to him but [in his words] "I will never let anyone talk bad about you, or us. It's just not something I'll accept."

That's the last thing from that night but the next thing I know it's the next day and everyone keeps asking me what happened the night before. It's like they seen the guy get knocked out but they didn't know why and some didn't even know who did it. Let's just say I highly enjoyed telling them that Tony and I were together and that the dude got knocked out by Tony because he was being disrespectful. While I'm standing there feeling completely happy about being with Tony I feel it start to happen, I begin to wake up. Then bam, I'm awake and Tony-less. Not only am I Tony-less but I'm sore from throwing up all day yesterday. So life kind of sucks right now, maybe I'll go back to sleep and have Tony come back to me.

BitchSlap..

2011-03-15T15:39:00.002-04:00

..myself into some sort of a routine.

That is what I'm going to do. I'm not fully sure WHAT kind of routine I will be forcing myself into...but it needs to be SOMETHING. I'm definitely giving myself a bed time. My sleep pattern is a MESS, and definitely needs some structure. I'm also gonna be setting strict homework hours. Procrastination is a disease...and I need the damn cure ! Hopefully I'll hear from this job opportunity REALLY soon so I will have set work and school hours.

I just need to start getting it together. I'll be 20 in June, and I need to get some things going for myself before I end up exactly like the people in my neighborhood that I DONT want to end up like.

Wish me luck!

xoxo

A little bummed.

2011-03-14T23:53:00.003-04:00

So I'm a little bummed at the moment, but I don't want to come here and whine and cry about the same stuff that I always do. So I'm just gonna...talk.

How have you guys been? I know I still "technically" have 65 followers...but how many of you guys do I really have left? 1 or 65..I appreciate each and every one of you. I also appreciate those of you who read my blog and don't follow. You guys still count too lol.

I'm the king of "I'm going to do this, that, and the third", but I think I need to finally get back on my grind. Physically I was was on such a good track, but I slipped off the wagon...and the rest is history. Food is my security blanket and I need to start dealing with my problems head on instead of trying to eat them away. It's pretty hard to get back into shape when you don't know the first thing about getting into shape. Back when I first lost a bunch of weight it all pretty much just fell off. I cut out soda and I stopped eating pork and it all pretty much fell off. I feel like since I gained a good amount back it will be even harder to get back on track. I don't buy my own food so eating "right" is kind of hard. I'm figuring I can cut down on my portion sizes again, try to force myself to only drink water, and give up pretty much all sweets and maybe I that will put me on the right path. I'm hoping the weather stays on the path to spring so I can start walking again. I know it's not much, but it's better than nothing right? I don't know, if anyone has some tips or advice on how to get on a healthy path...lay it on me. Again the email address is JCMays00@gmail.com [no one used it the last time, but who knows...maybe they will this time lol]

I'm getting sleepy, I think I'm gonna call it a night early tonight so I can wake up bright and early and clean my room. Good idea? Let's see if I go through with it.

xoxo

Ian Gallagher is my hero.

2011-03-14T18:11:00.007-04:00

It was only a matter of time before I wrote a post about my new FAVORITE show, SHAMELESS.

I talked about the main premise of the show in an earlier post, but now I want to talk about one of the characters on the show. Ian Gallagher. <3

Ian is one of the sons of the extreme alcoholic Frank Gallagher. Ian is the redheaded cutie who is my favorite on the show. Though I think my favorite is a tie between Ian and Lip (his older brother). Ian is gay and he has a lot of stuff going on in his life. The thing that makes me LOVE Ian is the fact that no matter what he has going on in his personal life, he still comes home and is apart of his family. He is there when they need him, and he isn't afraid to stand up for himself. [well he was for awhile but then he finally stood up for himself.]

At the beginning of the show Lip found a folder full of gay porn in the room that he shared with Ian. After confronting Ian about it, Lip actually turned out to be really cool with it. That's what I love about they Gallaghers, they stick together no matter what. Ian also works at a local corner store, and we come to find out that he is secretly hooking up with the store owner behind the store owner's wife's back. There's this local "hoodlum" named Mickey who terrorizes the store, often stealing whatever he wants. The store owners wive starts to get pissed off and begins to take it out on the store owner, Cash [i think that's his name]. There come a point where the wive decides to put a gun inside the store, only to have Mickey end up stealing it right from Cash's hands. Being Cash's secret boyfriend, Ian decides that enough is enough so he goes to Mickey's house to take matters into his own hands. He goes there with the intention of fighting until he had the gun in his possession, but after a short scuffle that landed them both on Mickey's bed together...they both realize that they want to do nothing more than have sex, so that's exactly what they do. Now not only is Ian involved with Cash ,the store owner, he is now involved with Mickey, the guy who gives Cash such a hard time.

Once Ian and Mickey are done having sex, Mickey decides to give Ian the gun back and Ian goes to take it back to the store. Once he gets there he is in for a surprise. You see, since the stealing from the store had gotten so bad Cash's wife had hooked up security cameras to look over the store. Both Ian and Cash weren't happy about the idea because it was inside of the store that they did all they're hooking up. They got the brilliant idea to adjust the camera's to where there was a small corner within the store that was just out of sight, and the proceeded to have sex. What they didn't know is that during all that fun, the camera that they tilted just so had fallen back into place on it's own. This left their whole little secret right there on tape for his wife to see. When Ian came into the store to return the gun he finds Cash's wife inside of the store confronting him about the sex on tape. To everyone's surprise his wife doesn't leave him, instead she demands that he get her pregnant again. Not only that, but until she was indeed pregnant he was not allowed to have sex with Ian. Some stuff goes down within the Gallagher household and Ian runs over to Mickey's house to see him, but Mickey is on the DL so he tells him he'll meet him at the store in 20 minutes. He gets to the store and Ian locks up and they head to the cooler to handle business. They're deep into it when Cash runs into the store to tell Ian the good news. His wife is finally pregnant, and he wants to celebrate. He searches the store and finds the two of them getting hot and heavy inside of his store. He flips and both Ian and Mickey stop what they're doing and Mickey runs out of the store. A few seconds pass and Mickey runs back into the store to try to scare Cash into not telling. Only...Cash is PISSED. Mickey grabs a snickers and gives cash a few warning words before stepping back. Cash then tells him to but the candy back but when Mickey refuses...Cash shoots him.

So now Ian is stuck between two "lovers". Cash obviously cares enough to shoot the guy he's "cheating" on him with, but Ian just isn't into Cash anymore. While Mickey is a rough and tough guy who doesn't seem to ever want to come out of the closet or even kiss him after they have sex. It's soo dysfunctional but there was this scene where they had just finished having sex and Ian goes to kiss him and Mickey says "Kiss me and I'll fucking cut your tongue out". It sounds pretty damn harsh, but that's what turns Ian on about Mickey.

The other funny thing is that Ian is pretty small, and Mickey is pretty tough...but Ian is the top and Mickey is the bottom. I may be absolutely weird for saying this but I absolutely LOVE that! Idk how old Mickey is [in real life] but I know Ian [his real name is Cameron] is 17, turns 18 in august...so I have a little bit of a wait to officially confess my love for him...and trust me I will lol :]

I know this post was extremely long and drawn out but class was cancelled today and I had absolutely nothing else to do, so hopefully SOMEONE out there enjoys this...if not, I still enjoyed typing it lol

xoxo

I got to go see DeRay!

2011-03-14T09:41:00.003-04:00

This picture was taken after the show. Meaning it was taken after I was OVERLY intoxicated so the fact that I captured such an amazing photo with such an amazing facial expression is even THAT much more amazing :] Gotta love this guy

So after all of the bitching and moaning I did on the last post, I actually got to go see DeRay Davis. The whole situation went as follows. I woke up friday morning pretty stoked to be going to see DeRay that night and my sister ended up saying "You can't go, I looked online to see if there were any more tickets and it said all the shows were 21+". At first I was just mad at her because she is ALWAYS the one to bring the bad news. Also, she wasn't going so of course she would be the one to crush my dreams of seeing him because she didn't have the money to go see him. [that was my though process] So I go online and look, and sure thing all the shows say 21+. By this point my other sister had already gotten both our tickets but I guess she didn't notice that the shows were 21+. I honestly had to look pretty hard to find where it said that, but it did and I was pissed. So I text my sister letting her know the bad news and she's pretty bummed too. You see, my sister Andrea and I are the cool kids. We have fun together and she doesn't really like going out without me because it's never as much as fun as it COULD be if I were there :] So she ends up calling the club to cancel our tickets and the owner asks why she wants to and she tells them my age and they tell her it's no problem. She said they took down her name and that I HAD to bring my ID, but when we got there my ID wasn't checked a single time. I understand why they try to urge you to be 21+ because I'm 19 and not only did I get into the place, but I ordered two drinks without anyone thinking twice about me. I'm not sure about alcohol prices where you guys live but I live in Ohio. Alcohol isn't the cheapest but I almost died when I seen on my bill that a Grey Goose and Red Bull [double] was $11.75. I could go to the bar around the way from my house and only pay $8 for the exact same thing and it'll taste WAY better than the drinks I had. The first drink I had was Grey Goose and Pineapple Juice. That one was pretty good, but only because I like Pineapple and that's pretty much ALL I could taste. I don't know about anyone else, but for me the mixer shouldn't overpower the liquor. I rather taste Grey Goose than Pineapple Juice or Red Bull if I'm paying $6[single]-$11[double] per drink.

But yeah, long story short I got to see DeRay, and he was alright. I know all that lead up and he wasn't AMAZINGLY funny. I think it's because I went to go see Mike Epps only about a few weeks ago and I LOVE him. He is funny as shit. DeRay had some good stuff but with Mike Epps, he was funny through and through. The only thing that I liked more about DeRay was fact that the venue was much smaller and therefore we were MUCH closer to him. He was about 10ft from our table. Also, his eyes. Who wouldn't love his eyes? I think DeRay is so damn sexy it doesn't make any sense. That's kind of the reason why I was so pissed that I thought I couldn't go see him lol

I am really enjoying my life right now. I never thought in a million years I'd be going to see people that are on tv while being drunk with my older sister and her friend. I know the 'people on tv' thing sounds like some small town farm kid talking. But I live in Toledo Ohio...not too many people stop here when they're on tour for ANYTHING lol Toledo isn't even like a stop-over city. When most famous people come here they have to fly to Detroit then drive down to Toledo because I think like the only place our Airport flies too and from is like Florida and Las Vegas or something lol So yeah, being in the presence of someone with even the smallest amount of celebrity makes me happy damnit. :]

21-

2011-03-11T12:37:00.003-05:00

I hate being on the opposite side of 21+ so much.

Not really because I can't drink because of it...because I drink, A LOT.

It's because there's stuff I can't do because I'm not 21. Like I was supposed to go see comedian DeRay Davis tonight with my sister and last minute we found out that the show is 21+. I have ZERO clue why the show is 21+ because it's not like a club or a bar or anything. It's a restaurant and comedy club connected. I could see if he was coming to like a random club or bar, but it's not. It's a comedy club.

I'm annoyed.

I'm gonna go get drunk somewhere tonight instead. It won't be as fun since I had my heart set on DeRay. I need to stop breaking my golden rule, never get your heart set on ANYTHING because in the end you'll just end up disappointed. #YupYup

xoxo

Fuck you.

2011-03-10T20:57:00.003-05:00

The title of this blog is pretty much how I currently feel.

I have a bunch of annoying situations floating in my head but I don't have the strength to write about them. Mostly because doing so would be a waste of time since they're not really that interesting or BIG, they're just small annoying things that have clumped together and put me in a "Fuck the world" type of mood.

To top it all off, I'm hungry. I was gonna go to Buffalo Wild Wings to eat and watch the basketball game...but due to a series of annoyingly annoying events...I'm at home, without chicken wings in my stomach.

Looks like I'm gonna have to go get some crappy fast food from down the street. I would go to wendy's but I HATE their new fries. That's a lie, I hate the salt they use on their new fries. Sea Salt sucks old sweaty man balls.

This post sucks, I promise to do better on the next one. Who knows I might post again once I get something in my stomach.

xoxo

You've done porn??

2011-03-10T01:01:00.002-05:00

So after digging and digging into the deepest parts of my brain for something to post about tonight, it has finally hit me. Partly from a new found buddy I was texting, and also from a good friends advice question along with the premier of the new season of the Real World that was on tonight.

So yeah, looking back, this topic was just sitting right on the table and I didn't even think to pick it up lol. For the good friend, no names will be named...so I hope it's all good to talk about?

Lets start with my who was seeking advice. For the sake of this blog post I will call him...Enzo [i love that name] and I will call his guy "Ian". So Enzo met Ian not too long ago and I'm not fully sure on where they're at in their relationship or even if it's a legit relationship yet. I do know that they both like each other and they have been out a few times together...and let's face it in the homo world that's all that really needs to happen for you to be 'together' lol jk jk. So recently Enzo was told by Ian that he is into "making movies" and that he even has a couple of them up on xtube. Of course, like any normal person on the planet, Enzo goes and checks them out and discovers that he's not alone in the videos and that it kind of bothers him that he's into making vids and that someone else is in the vids with him. [Side note, Ian and Enzo would be the cutest couple in the planet. I love those names lol ok back on track]

Then there's the real world. I should go google the kids name, but I'm being lazy tonight and you guys know how easily distracted I get so I will call him...Cute Country Guy. So on the Real World there's this Cute Country Guy who is on there and there's was this big like mystery about his past that he kept bringing up and finally they revealed that he used to be on fratpad. For those of you who don't know what frat pad is [shame on you, go to like xtube or xvideos and they always have tons of clips...smh at you non-porn watchers lol jk jk but seriously...go look], it's basically a house full of dudes doing all types of stuff from naked massages and circle jerks and all that homo-erotic [and down right homo] stuff. To me, I assumed all the guys on fratpad were just gay but they said they were straight for the fantasy aspect for the viewers. [Like BrokeStraightGuys] But from what Cute Country Guy says, he's straight. He's the type that is really romantic and into girls but he also admitted to the group that he has kissed a guy before. He followed that by saying that he's very comfortable in his own skin so it wasn't something that bothered him. The thing with him is that he doesn't know how to tell the group that he was on fratpad, and I can kind of understand where he's coming from. He really likes a girl that's in the house and telling her about his porn past could ruin things and could make the house see him differently.

These two situations are pretty different but I see the same thing within both of them. THE PAST. If I were in either situation I would force myself to look at the porn as something they did in the past. That's if the person came to me and I made it clear [if i wasn't into it] that I wouldn't participate or want him to participate in the porn anymore, and they accepted it. If that happened and it still bothered me I would then go into thinking of it as something of the past. Everyone has a sexual past, and the fact that they have video footage of some of their sexual encounters doesn't change the fact that it was in the past. With Cute Country Guy, I would be pissed if the girl got mad at him for doing fratpad. Only because he openly admitted to kissing a guy and being open in that way that it didn't bother him. I know to some people the fact that the guy they like has been with a dude is a turn off, but if a guy told me that he has made out with a girl before I would take that as he could potentially be bi. If the thought of him being bi or the thought of him once having sex with a girl was too much for me to handle I would step back. I wouldn't just be like oh he kissed a girl, i won't even think about the potential sex. I know it's less extreme with a gay guy having sex with a girl bc it's expected...but to some guys who fuck girls are a turn off.

So I guess my question is, if someone who you were seeing told you they once did porn [or made amature videos] would it bother you? With Enzo and Ian, would it bother you that it was something that he enjoyed doing even though you told him you weren't into it and he said ok?

With Cute Country Guy, would it bother you that he did it [and that it was gay stuff, or straight stuff for my homo's] even though he is 100% about it being something in his past and not something he still is trying to pursue?

My Mother Has a Facebook Account

2011-03-08T17:50:00.003-05:00

For awhile it seemed like every day I wake up to a new friend request from someone even more disturbing than the previous day.

-Weird Cousins I never talk to.

-Strange friends of the family I only speak to because I don't want to seem rude

-Aunts who are wayy out of the age range of facebook.

Then one morning I woke up with a friend request from Maria Gonzales. [fyi, that's my mothers name] Yep, my mother has a facebook account. I believe it was a Sunday morning which means I was pretty smashed from the night before. It also meant that I had over slept and was running late for my nieces basketball game. I did a quick once over of my phone before hopping out of bed to rush to get dressed and I seen a had a few missed texts and a few fb alerts. That's normal in the a.m. so I threw on some clothes and headed out with my sister to make it to the game somewhat on time. After settling in the passenger seat I began to check the messages and alerts in my phone and that's when I stumbled across the friend request that ended my life. I immediately denied the friend request and proceeded to block my own mother from my facebook account. Now I know it may seem a little extreme to block her, but my mother is nosey. Also I didn't want her to see that I didn't accept the request. She's borderline computer illiterate but she's learning [fml] so the whole being blocked thing isn't something she knows about and hopefully it'll stay that way. Though it doesn't help bc I have a lot of family on fb [who doesn't] and she's friends with all of them . She can't directly see what I post...but I'm sure she can hear about it.

I wish I didn't have to go to the extreme of banishing my mother from my facebook account but she can't seem to understand that I'm not a kid anymore. I often get drunk and post crazy status updates like many people my age and the last thing I need is her commenting on them. I have a cousin who posts the most outrageous shit on his fb and what's even worse is the comments under them from his mother telling him that he shouldn't be posting stuff like that on the internet. Not cool at all.

Since I'm on the subject of facebook I gotta admit that I hate people who take facebook SO seriously. I mean yeah facebook is a place where real people reconnect or connect for the first time and a lot of stuff you do on there everyone can see. I get it. I also understand that internet bullying is a serious thing and there have been many kids who have taken their lives over facebook. Though I personally believe that facebook is just...facebook. I could have a million and seven people laughing at me or yelling at me for something I posted on facebook and I honestly wouldn't give two shits because the shit that ends up on my facebook wall is just that...shit. I don't have the slightest filter in my brain when it comes to my status updates on facebook and I love it. I'll say whatever I want whenever I want. Though I have to say that I'm not like mean or disrespectful to other people, I'm just random. If I'm drunk and I have the "most amazing" thought while laying in bed while the entire room won't stop spinning...I'll post it to facebook. If I think my schools Chicken Burritos are the best thing that has ever happened in my life...I'll post it to facebook. If I have had a bad day and all I want to do is go have a few shots, even though I'm only 19...I'll post it to facebook. Why? Because ITS JUST FACEBOOK.

I know shit can get serious on there and people can get in trouble when they post off the wall illegal shit, but if facebook is used correctly (as in, as a means of ENTERTAINMENT) no one will get hurt.

...and that's just my opinion.

XoXo

MY LOVER !!

2011-03-07T21:46:00.003-05:00

So the love of my life has started a blog, and I think you all should go follow him.

He's pretty much the shit, so just do it

Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee??

I'll be handing out free bj's for anyone who follows him lol jk jk

here's his link :]]

http://extremelyinbetween.blogspot.com/

Doo it? I'll love you forever

Random Blog #4645987463512

2011-03-07T01:59:00.002-05:00

I've gotten pretty good at these random posts.

I need to sit down and draw up some specific topics to post on because these random ones are not getting the job done. I am letting my "A.D.D." brain win...and that is NOT good lol.

So I had a pretty good time this weekend. It was my sisters birthday weekend so we went out to dinner and did some drinking. It turned out to be a really good night. Seen the guy i have the biggest crush ever. You all know him as Tony...which is his actual name lol I ended up giving him my number FINALLY. Though he probably will never call or text me, and if he does it'll just be to hang out and smoke..which I don't really do [smoke]. I have a couple times but I'm a drinker. Getting high just makes me quiet and paranoid...not my cup of tea.

I gave my number to another old friend the weekend before this past weekend. He definitely won't call me, but it felt good to be asked. I'm not sure what team he plays for but I'm not really attracted to him so it's irrelevant. He's a friend, that's all. :]

I recently [today] discovered a show called, i think, Shameless. It's about a family that is like lower class. They are mostly brothers and sisters with an alcoholic father and like all of them have odd jobs and barely any of them are old enough to work. I just watched the premier episode even though it started in like January or something like that. It looks like a really good show. One of the brothers is gay. The oldest sister is so strong and she has a guy who starts liking her. I'm excited to see where the show goes bc it looks like it could be something really good.

I love american eagle Low-Rise Trunks, I have like every pair. My favorite have to be my purple and black striped ones. Those underwear make me legit happy, which is sad. My happiness has dwindled to what underwear i have on lol I guess it's the little things that count :]

I should not be drinking McDonalds Sweet Tea at 2am...but I am. Because I do what the fuck I want to do. I guess I'm kind of like a bad ass ninja or something. Yupp.

I can't wait until spring hits so I can start walking. I started doing that last spring and I really liked it but I let people get the best of me so I quit. It's weird whenever I leave my house to just leave my house without a destination or a set plan...the people within my house assume I'm going to meet someone. I don't like being painted as a liar so when people kept thinking I was walking to someones house or something I just stopped doing it and stayed home. Now I'm a new person, I pretty much don't give a fuck anymore. Actually now I'll just leave the house to piss my mom off now. I'll like randomly go get McDonalds Sweet Tea at 1am and just let her mind wander until she has made up my complete future with whoever I supposedly went to go see in her head lol. Poor lady.

I'm beginning to hate my industrial. I just want it to stop annoying me and stop being so damn needy. Just sit in my fucking ear without shit building up on it within like couple hours time frame. They need to invent some type of spray that just makes it heal like the same day you get it done. Save me the fucking time and energy of worrying about it.

I'm getting sleepy, BUT I don't have class tomorrow so I can sleep all fuckin day if I want to, and I probably will. :]

I wonder who all still reads this blog. Not like I ever need an audience to blog, you all know that. I just know I had some really cool followers in the past and I wonder who all has kept up with my blog throughout my whole computer breakdown phase. Oh and fyi, my "i miss you" blog turned up ZERO replies/emails. So I guess I'm not missed lmao

I'm a couple weeks too late but i LOVED the "Alcohol Awareness Week" on glee ! Brittney as Ke$ha was AMAZING ! lol I loved it. I had been slacking on my glee and I watched it over my sisters house the week it was on...it's safe to say I'm into Glee again :]

Ok, I'm running out of steam, I think I'm gonna lay back and watch a movie. Sn: If you haven't seen the movie Frozen you definitely should watch it. I think it's a really good movie with a simple set up, but it's really good.

xoxo

I'm done slacking.

2011-03-03T18:03:00.001-05:00

I know posting to say that I'm going to start posting more is something that is OVERLY done on this blog, but this time it's a definite promise. Starting either tonight or Monday I am going to start posting DAILY for about a week. I'm going to be on spring break all week next week and I figure it's time to get back to myself. It's time to get back to the things that make me happy and the things that I enjoy doing. One of them is this blog right here. So you have my word that posting will become more common and less depressing and sad.

It's time to get my happy back !

xoxo

I miss you.

2011-02-22T01:40:00.003-05:00

I know the majority of my posts have been about missing my ex, but this one is a little different.

I definitely miss him, but I find myself saying/thinking "I Miss You" way more than normal. Not just when thinking about Dan, but when thinking about a ton of other people.

Back when myspace was what FaceBook is now, I believe I was at my happiest point on my life. Even before Dan came along I believe I was on the road to legitimate happiness. [yeah, when I got into a relationship a whole other batch of insecurities and problems showed their ugly heads but that's another story] I felt like I was on top of MY world. I had a number of great friends that I could come to and be my complete self without and worry. I had gotten over the whole "real" vs "internet" friend thing that had been drilled into my head. When I finally just let go of all the preconceived notions I had about making FRIENDS online...I found myself with a nice sized dose of happiness.

Even though I am still very close with one of my first "online" and GAY friends, my lover [NO not my BF, incest is gross and this guy is like my brother] Marc. He was one of the first gay guys I talked to online. [Well one of the first gay people I talked to online as MYSELF. I had about a yr or two of FAKE myspacing under my belt. I was a 6ft white guy named...Tyler I think. There was another one before that but I forgot his name lol haha I was so pathetic] I met Marc bc I thought he was his boyfriend, he had a picture of him and his ex-boyfriend like hugging or something as his default on the GYC [gay youth chat] he's white and his boyfriend at the time was latino...and coming from Ohio being a mixed kid I tended to not talk to attractive white guys online bc from experience with guys in my area...i feared rejection. So thinking he was his bf i messaged him and ended up falling in love with him. Not in the way that you think though. I love Marc, like I LOVE the kid so much, he's not even a friend to me anymore he's so much more. I bring him up because after meeting him I have met SO many great people online. Seth is another great guy who I am still in contact with [which you guys know bc I shout him out like every blog :] I cant help it, I loves my sethington. Check out his tumblr for amazingness I believe his link is lifeThruGlasses.tumblr.com if that's not it and I didn't come back to change it...don't punch me. I am an A.d.d. kid and I need to get these thoughts out right now and if I go check tumblr I will get lost over there for hours and never finish this post lol] Seth and Marc are my two pity husbands that I have lined up for when I find myself 30 years old, alone, in a basement with no one to love me. Though I'm sure they'll have found happy husbands my then...but a guy can dream can't he ?? lol

Anywhoo, I have a point I promise. I said all that up there to say that I have met SO many people online and it seems like one by one I lost contact with pretty much all of them. Jacob, he was a GREAT guy. The first time I talked to him we talked for hours and hours and he's one of the few people who even got me on the phone. We made a few bad choices and it messed up our friendship but I really miss him. Manny, another GREAT guy. Recently found him on FB but we still don't really talk that much anymore. Kirby, was pretty crazy times but I still really miss our friendship. Chris, talked to him for awhile last night and it made me miss him even more. When we first met he was another person I hit it off with and he got me on the phone. That's huge when I say that bc it's hard to get me on the phone bc I'm ridiculously shy. Then there's Alexis, I don't even know what happened with him. It's so crazy you're like talking to someone everyday and then it's like months and even a year later and you realize that you havent spoken with that person in SO long. Sozo, I remember having a bad day on twitter and snapping at him, I regret it but it's been way too long I doubt he even remembers me. Donick, I talk to him from time to time but I have the biggest crush on him so I like always miss him lol
If I went though the list of people that I wish I was still in contact with, this would be the longest blog in [my] history [of blogging].If you're reading this and we used to be friends and somehow we don't speak anymore...email me or look me up on facebook. My email is JCMays00@gmail.com and my fb link is http://www.facebook.com/Jimmy.Mays91

There are so many of you who I wish to talk to again but I don't know how to reach you anymore. With a lot of people deleting their Myspace accounts and me being TERRIBLE with first AND last names so finding them on fb is nearly impossible, it makes it hard to get back in touch with people. There are even people who I don't remember that I know I would love to talk to again because I can't remember everyone but I just remember meeting so many great people and now they're all gone. From going through SO many broken phones, losing numbers that way, to quitting the blogging and twitter scene for awhile, it's hard to leave the internet and come back because when you're gone for too long everything changes and a lot of people move right along with it.

If you're out there, I miss you. Let's be friends again?

I wonder how many people this blog will reach..

Ok I'm a liar.

2011-02-17T00:26:00.002-05:00

I guess I'm NOT gonna take a benadryl and fall asleep.
Instead I'm going to eat my feelings and blog...yeah, that's much healthier :]

(Now Eating: Warm Tortilla's with Peanut Butter #Yum)

So I guess I'll do another completely random post.
Lets start with the current paper I'm working on. Though I'm not technically working on it yet lol I'm still trying to decide what I want to do it on. It's an Analysis essay for my Comp class. I failed Comp I last semester and I have my old analysis essay [which was the ONLY paper I did in that class], and I'm deciding if I want to just reuse that one or start fresh with this new class. Though we already did and turned in an essay so the fresh start began two weeks ago. The reason why I haven't just slapped a new date and my new teachers name on it is because I went to see the Never Say Never [the Justin Bieber movie] last friday and I kind of want to do my paper on him. I want to analyze why he is so popular among adult audiences. There was a part in the movie where like a 24-26 year old woman was talking about how she loved him, but it wasn't in a weird sexual way. She had a legitimate love for his music, and looking around the theater there were a lot of adult couples watching a Justin Bieber movie while on a date. Then I went into class on monday and she let us know we were going to be starting the analysis essays and I couldn't get the Justin Bieber topic out of my mind.

Mostly because I LOVED the movie and I have been like obsessed with Justin Bieber since watching it. It's weird to say but after watching the movie I felt really proud of him. There was a scene where his dad was seeing him perform in concert for the first time and he was crying and it was the cutest thing ever. I also feel that sense of pride with Jaden Smith too. Seeing him perform at the Grammys and seeing Will and Jada in the audience cheering him on was really cute. The icing on the cake was seeing will mouth the words "That's My Baby!" at the end of his performance. Just perfect :]

[I love peanut butter]

I know it sounds bad, but I kind of want to get dressed and go to the bar for a little bit. I think it's more out of habit then out of NEED for alcohol. I have a cousin who i am really close too and she used to live right across the street from "our" bar and whenever she was bored she'd call me over and we'd always end up at the bar drinking $2 Bud Lights [when we were too broke for actual liquor lol] and listening to the music on the JukeBox. I remember one night the bar was SO dead that it was literally just me her and the Bartender until about 1am then a small rush finally came in. I have so many judgmental people in my family [and in my life] that I don't like saying that the bar became my home away from home in a way. Again not because of the alcohol, but because the sense of just being there and knowing the faces of the people who also always go there. A lot of people I went to elementary school with go there [since the elementary school is right down the street, I'm assuming, like myself, they haven't moved away from the neighborhood yet]. If I were talking about the library or a park or something like that, people wouldn't have a problem with it, but because it's a bar I automatically have a drinking problem.
I can openly admit that for awhile my cousin and I would find ourselves at the bar any and every day of the week, but I can also say that it wasn't something that I NEEDED. I just went to go. [as you can see] I can't go to bed early to save the life of me and what else is exciting to do after midnight than masturbate and go to a bar?
...NOTHING that is what.
Also Tony goes there and you guys already know about tony :]
He's actually the reason I REALLY started going there. I had went there a few times and actually didn't like it at all, but the night I seen him there for the first time and he hugged me...I had to come back for possibly more lol

So Dan [most of you know who dan is...if you don't, read more of my blog posts lol] told me about this iphone/iTouch/iPad app called Grindr. It's basically like A4A but it tells you exactly how far you are from the other guys. I guess he found it when he got his iphone and ended up meeting someone who he really hit it off with and that's when we broke up and they got together [i think in that order? lol jk jk] anywhoo he was really happy with that guy for awhile [god what was his name...it was something different but not DIFFERENT idk. it doesn't add to the story] and then they broke up and he found ANOTHER guy [his current bf] and now they're super happy together.
...shit, I so lost where I was going with this... Oh yeah, so I recently got an iTouch, and before I had gotten it I was talking to dan on FB and told him that he needed to give me his secret for finding good bf's [not that he needs a secret, he's hot as shit and a sweetheart but anywhoo] and he mentioned Grindr again. I kind of cringed at the sound of it bc I grew to hate that word after we broke up but he told me it really helped him find guys in his area. [which is like 2hrs north of me] So I figured I might have some luck and I decided to get an iTouch and try it out....Needless to say, Toledo has Failed me once again.
I said grindr is like a4a with distances before because that's exactly what it is for me. The majority of the guys who are on there are also on a4a and then there's the huge population of people without pics...like a4a in my area. So I have officially given up on finding a boyfriend, ever. And to make things even WORSE, the one guy who actually talks to me, and isn't old enough to be my dad, is YOUNG enough to be my kid brother ! He's a cute kid but he's 16. I know I'm only 19 and I shouldn't be acting all high and mighty because I used to talk to 19 year olds online when I was 16...but I just can't do it with him. He's a really nice kid but he takes it towards sex a lot and all I can think of are those To Catch A Predator shows. I don't wanna show up at some random house but naked with whipped cream covering my dick and nipples only to find chris hanson and a 21 year old 'actor' who looks likea 16 year old boy. No thanks.
Sigh, Ohio Ohio...what am I gonna do with you.

LEAVE YOUR ASS is what I NEED to do.

Ok, I'm feeling a little better, even though none of those things mentioned above are what I was sad about lol I think I'm gonna try to lull myself into a deep sleep.
Hope you all enjoy the post...if you ALL don't, I know at least my buddy Seth :]
<3 ya seth, hope VA is treating you well :]

xoxo

Sigh

2011-02-17T00:12:00.003-05:00

I need a hug.

But we all know how that goes, so I think I'll just take a benadryl and call it a night.
No class till 7, will probably sleep until then.

Nite

(new blog posts coming I've just been distracted)

$1,600

2011-02-07T12:11:00.002-05:00

to fix my teeth.

I
LOVE
MY
LIFE.

Will someone run me over with a bus? It doesn't even have to be a bus, any automobile will do. You can run me over with a bike as long as it does the job.
Gotta love being an unemployed college student with no insurance.

FUCK America.

Fuck my life.

2011-02-05T23:18:00.004-05:00

So I got entirely too drunk last night and now my two front teeth are chipped. Just when you think you cant feel any worse about yourself...BAM you trip over the cord to a small karaoke tv causing yourself to fall and causing the tv to land on your face. Then you're laying on the ground trying not to swallow the pieces of your teeth that have broken off into your mouth.
Now I have to wait until monday to even call a dentists office to schedule an appointment. Fucking great.

I hate myself.

I want what comes after falling in love.

2011-01-31T21:27:00.004-05:00

^Was watching Intervention and someone on there said it, and I love it^

I hate saying that I was never truly in love, because I was. When I've been mad or bitter I'll admit I declared that I had never been in love. I also say that "Love is for the birds". Those are both things I just say because I'm no longer loved, and at times I am bitter about that.

(Before all the people who care about me read this and decide to text me declaring their love...I know you all love me and I appreciate it lol You guys are the best haha I just mean I don't have a significant other who loves me.)

But I know how I felt when I was in love with someone, and I loved the things that happened [aside from that myspace message] after I realized I was in love with him. I have written quite a few posts about missing him, and I do, (I also promise that this isn't a boo-hoo cry baby post like the other ones lol) but I also miss "being in love". Being "comfortable" is often looked down upon within a relationship...and it's probably why I lost him to someone better lol, but that's what I loved about being with him. Yeah we weren't AROUND each other all the time, but even though text messages, I grew to become so comfortable with him. Just the regular day to day conversation about anything and everything was what I loved. Growing to be able to sense his feelings from what he texted me or being able to guess what he'd say before I even sent him a text. Just having that person that I know is there for me is what I really enjoyed.

Oh, I didn't warn you but this is another completely random post. So whatever is on my mind is what you guys get :]

I'm SO not ready for all this snow. I absolutely hate mother nature. She's a fuckin bitch. Harsh? I know...that's the point of me saying it.

I'm also really in love with Machine Gun Kelly, and it's not JUST because he's fuckin sexy. I mean it helps, but his music is really good. Just listening to his music puts his life and his struggles into perspective. He has had a rough time growing up and to see him make it through it and become what he is today is very inspirational. ...And those tattoos just make me want to drop to my knees and do dirty dirty things with my mouth. Then I'd turn around and let him do dirty dirty things with his....

moving on

lol

I'm hungry. I had BDubs the other day and I've been craving it even more ever since then. I also have been craving alcohol. Even though I drank my fair share last weekend...you can never have too much liquor. Well, you can...but I drink responsibly. So I guess I can say, you can never drink too often...if you drink every weekend. lol haha

I really want to go see Nicki in Columbus in March, I don't know though bc I don't like that she's not headlining her own tour. If Justin Bieber can do it...Nicki can damnit !

Ok. I'm cold. I'm going upstairs to my room. It's warm up there.

I've always wanted to blow someone with a tat in that spot

2011-01-28T10:25:00.003-05:00

[so fuxkin classy]

FYI, that's Machine Gun Kelly. He could get it... HARD.

My New Boyfriend

2011-01-28T00:39:00.003-05:00

lol I wish !

This is Machine Gun Kelly, a sexy white-boy wrapper who currently has my heart {i could say that about a lot of people but he has the spotlight for this post lol}

Fuck.

2011-01-28T00:26:00.002-05:00

I fucking miss you.
This is the safest public place to say it.
People might see it as a cry for your attention, and maybe subconsciously it is, but when I'm feeling something that I can't quite say to the person that it's intended for...I have to release it SOMEWHERE. Yelling into the wind is just like keeping it inside for me, so I blog.
It's getting really bad lately and I don't really know why. Looked through my wallet today and found something, didn't even know I still had it lol I guess you don't know until you look right?
\
God, I wanna be good with this. I REALLY DO. For awhile I actually thought I was, but I'm not. I will be, give me time. [like enough time hasn't already passed. gotta love being pathetic lol]

It's SO weird that I have to pour my feelings into a blog whenever I'm trying to do homework that's frustrating me lol Weird relation.

Ok, time to go pick up the book I threw across the room and use it to finish this homework.

<3

Sn: I've decided to get a tattoo really soon. Just a small heart, <3 to be exact. I don't know what made me seriously decide on getting it but I really want it on either my inner left or outer right wrist. I love Jessie J's tattoo on her wrist it's "Stand Up" and it has a heart below it. I've been thinking about going that route with it...but I think I'll just start with the heart. I'm also finally finally finally getting my industrial for SURE really soon. Last time I was all hyped up to get it and the place I went to got shut down, this time I'm prepared to spend whatever [not WHATEVER but we'll see lol] to get it done. I've also been wanting snake bites..it's a little extreme but I think I'll love them. I figure it's best to get them now that I don't have a job so I can give them time to heal so when I do find somewhere to work I'll be able to take them out while I'm at work or use those like clear silicone thingys that are supposed to make them less noticeable without worrying about them closing or getting infected or anything. We'll see about that. The heart and industrial are for sure things...the snake bites are just an idea floating around in my head that I really like the sound of. What do you guys think, should I get them or not? Feedback is always welcome.

A4A, I fuckin hate you.

2011-01-26T22:53:00.003-05:00

So I was just on A4A [the title is pretty extreme btw, I just live for the drama lmao jk jk ] and I stumbled across this page that said

"I hate these things but no fatties or oldies n be openminded cuz I'm odd lmao"

So basically you want someone who is open minded so there will be some sort of balance in the relationship? It's ok to be a fuckin weirdo but if you're fat or old THEN we have a problem? I guess being a chubby guy I might take offense to the "no fats no fems no old" thing a little more than someone who is none of those things. Many people argue that in order to want to be with someone you need to be physically attracted to them, and I totally agree. But don't get on a social networking site and claim that one of the things your looking for is friendship, and then go on and give your list of requirements. The kicker is this guy then turns it around and says...oh yeah and be open minded because I might not fit into your box of what's hot, but as long as YOU fit into MINE that's really all that matters right?

I'm just in a really crappy mood, and seeing that made me want to come here and vent a little...looking up at what I wrote I guess I should say it made me want to come here and vent a VERY little lmao.

Oh well...there's always tomorrow, but from my track record...it will suck just as much as today did.

I need a hug..

no takers?

Eh, story of my life. lmao