tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173441Sat, 28 Mar 2026 22:20:39 +0000amusingrantmemusical mondaykelliephotoouchtaggedfriendsbusyilltechrandomkidsgeekbethanytiredfamilypicturestemplatenewsweatherbirthdaycraziesinsomniabloggersholidayvideolinksjaysenmedstamsynoopsmoviesrelationshipsmusicpetshouseshoppingsinglexmasstatcountergamingmigrainesocialworkweeklifelocalspamCFSreviewtvbetapeoplelistthankswarcraftfoodweddingchddietthoughtsideamollybabydominicprivacyyaaarwebcamdepressionanniversaryeasterlurkerdreamfaceoff fridaynostalgiapollpoppysecurity2011craftsearwormlondonlovepoliticstwitter2008ANGRYboreddevonfriendhospitalpodcast200620072023basildonbikecookingfacebookgardenminecraftneighbourstagtravelworrywritingA random blog of random musings, sometimes updated daily, sometimes every now and then...http://www.0ddness.co.uk/noreply@blogger.com (Dan)Blogger2293125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173441.post-486275354892885000Wed, 21 Feb 2024 12:21:00 +00002024-02-21T12:57:19.400+00:00bethanyTo My Beautiful Angel, Bethany...I can't understand how it has been nineteen years since you left. And for whatever reasons, these last couple of years have been really hard. Really, really difficult. Valentines rolls around, and I remember that is the day when things really started to go south, and then the litany of problems that just cascaded, culminating into, well... This.Nineteen years is ahttp://www.0ddness.co.uk/2024/02/nineteen-years.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Dan)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173441.post-3223314741507582885Mon, 01 Jan 2024 03:31:00 +00002024-01-01T03:31:46.268+00:002023So, that was 2023...As the title says, all I can say about this past year, is good fucking riddance. Shit, Chaos, Death, Mayhem... I can say with 100% honesty, that this year has been a complete an utter unbridled shitstorm that I am absolutely done with.I am not going to make any hopeful comment about 2024. I made hopeful comments about 2023 on New Years Eve when the clock dinged midnight, and http://www.0ddness.co.uk/2024/01/good-fucking-riddance.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Dan)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173441.post-2447968638502312309Sun, 21 Feb 2021 08:53:00 +00002021-02-21T08:53:56.927+00:00bethanySixteen years.It seems like - and almost literally is - a lifetime. In that time, a child is born, raised, and here in the UK, they're ready to go to college or, if they decide, out into the world, qualifications in hand.And yet, for me, sometimes it feels like just the blink of an eye.Sixteen years ago, you left. You dealt with so much in your four short years, and enough was enough. You gave mehttp://www.0ddness.co.uk/2021/02/sixteen-years.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Dan)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173441.post-8086286416772655649Fri, 15 Jan 2021 10:48:00 +00002021-01-15T10:48:15.354+00:00bethanybirthdayWith the last year seemingly out of control, and 2021 appearing to be no better, it surprises and amazes me that today would be Bethanys 20th birthday. Twenty years. Twenty years ago I sat there as she was born, not knowing what her future would hold - not even knowing what the coming hours would hold for her, let alone the coming days, weeks and months. As it turned out, the first weekhttp://www.0ddness.co.uk/2021/01/two-decades.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Dan)214 Rivertons, Vange, Basildon SS16 4UY, UK51.5605158 0.4914125999999999225.367185398151392 -34.6648374 77.7538462018486 35.6476626tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173441.post-5718678386061119553Wed, 12 Feb 2020 11:09:00 +00002020-02-12T11:09:38.679+00:00birthdaymollyphoto If you have the misfortune of following me on Instagram, you may have noticed a minor flooding today, with a single subject. Molly - and the fact the she is eighteen years old today! Considering I am such a benevolent dictator, I have allowed her to reach this milestone with a simple goal in mind - to spam embarrassing photos I have amassed of her over the years! So, this morning, I threw http://www.0ddness.co.uk/2020/02/molly-is-18.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Dan)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173441.post-6603121434289821972Wed, 15 Jan 2020 12:00:00 +00002020-01-16T01:08:09.457+00:00bethanybirthdayOk so I admit I am writing this on the 16th, but, well, I couldn't bring myself to do it on the 15th, Bethys birthday... Her 19th birthday no less. It's now the middle of the night, and my mind has been a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions for close to 24 hours now, and while the last year has been absolutely crap, I need to blog for my beautiful baby's birthday. As ever, it feels like just http://www.0ddness.co.uk/2020/01/nineteen.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Dan)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173441.post-4149733237288323727Thu, 21 Feb 2019 12:21:00 +00002019-02-21T15:06:57.537+00:00bethanylove Somehow, today marks the fourteen anniversary since losing Bethany. Fourteen years... That in itself is a whole child - Tam will be 14 in four weeks. But it feels so surreal. On the one hand, today the loss feels very raw and fresh. On the other, it feels like a lifetime ago. I know back then, I was a very different person, and I wonder how much the events changed who I am as a person. I've http://www.0ddness.co.uk/2019/02/fourteen-years-today.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Dan)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173441.post-5540374678391152824Tue, 15 Jan 2019 09:08:00 +00002019-01-15T09:10:13.017+00:00bethanybirthdayHard to imagine, but today would have been Bethany's 18th birthday. I would have another little grown up in my life, and I can only imagine what sort of person - adult - she would be after everything. On the one hand, I am trying so hard to be positive today. I am trying so hard to not dwell on the fact that she has been gone for what seems like so long/just yesterday. I'm trying to remember http://www.0ddness.co.uk/2019/01/18-today.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Dan)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173441.post-1128786985633355381Sat, 31 Mar 2018 09:59:00 +00002018-03-31T10:59:56.974+01:00friendsgamingidea Once upon a time, in the distant annals of the past, there was a Guy. He wasn't especially smart, not very social, not much to look at, and definitely not the sort to call attention to himself. He did, however, have quite a vivid imagination. He would arrange games from all sorts of genres: from high fantasy, to gritty sci-fi; cyberpunk to horror; vampire and fairies, kings and robots... He http://www.0ddness.co.uk/2018/03/once-upon-time.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Dan)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173441.post-5200488681562381813Wed, 21 Feb 2018 09:42:00 +00002018-02-21T09:42:12.898+00:00bethanylifeAt 12:21pm today, my precious Bethy will have been gone from me for thirteen years. On one hand, that feels like a lifetime ago, but on the other, it feels like it has only just happened. This past year has not been great, and for some reason, that has made today feel more raw and visceral than the last few years, and I honestly feel like I am struggling to hold myself together - today is makinghttp://www.0ddness.co.uk/2018/02/thirteen-years.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Dan)31 Rivertons, Basildon SS16 4UY, UK51.560470957341231 0.4916220903396606451.55866995734123 0.48647209033966066 51.562271957341231 0.49677209033966063tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173441.post-8502030537852110966Mon, 15 Jan 2018 09:03:00 +00002018-01-15T09:03:06.506+00:00bethanybirthdayTo my beautiful Angel, Bethany... I can't believe you would be 17 today. That number boggles and blows my mind, and I can't help but think what you would be like at this age. Seventeen. You'd be looking to the future; College, University, Work, Boys NO BOYS... Would you still be dancing? Would you be as strong-willed and stubborn as you were when you were four? Would you still love to sit with http://www.0ddness.co.uk/2018/01/happy-birthday-my-bethy.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Dan)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173441.post-4388371814190323536Mon, 18 Sep 2017 09:58:00 +00002017-09-18T11:13:12.256+01:00bethanybirthdaybusydominicjaysenkelliemollyoopspoppytamsyntwitter So, turns out poor old 0ddness has been a bit neglected of late. A lot late. But, with yesterday being a momentous occasion, I figured I would appear out of lurkdom and grace you with my presence. Yes, I still think a lot of myself. Go figure. (FYI: Long Post Klaxon!) Firstly, I was indeed 41 years old yesterday. Of course, I didn't realise it was my birthday this weekend until Wednesday http://www.0ddness.co.uk/2017/09/is-this-thing-on.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Dan)114 Rivertons, Basildon SS16 4UY, UK51.5604009 0.491592999999966251.5579329 0.48655049999996619 51.5628689 0.4966354999999662tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173441.post-5104176290244768400Wed, 05 Apr 2017 00:32:00 +00002017-04-05T01:32:47.261+01:00I know that, as usual, I've not posted much of late, and truth be told, whenever I do seem to need to get my brain thoughts out, it's just me, sounding sad and tired and something wrong with me medically and everything else I always seems to moan and sulk about.  And this post is nothing new. As usual, I feel like crap, and as usual, I'm fed up of feeling like crap. I don't know where to start, http://www.0ddness.co.uk/2017/04/rut_5.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Dan)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173441.post-5662316431308953493Sun, 12 Feb 2017 10:29:00 +00002017-02-12T10:29:08.470+00:00birthdaymollyBelieve it or not, the wee little thing we call "Molly" is another year older today, and somehow, the little moo-bag is fifteen years old! FIFTEEN! I'm sure it wasn't that long ago that I was sat in Kellies living room meeting these two little blonde kids, one of which was a seven year old girl that just wouldn't stop talking and asking questions about me... Who I am, where I'm from, what I do,http://www.0ddness.co.uk/2017/02/old-girl.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Dan)114 Rivertons, Basildon SS16 4UY, UK51.5604009 0.491592999999966251.5579329 0.48655049999996619 51.5628689 0.4966354999999662tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173441.post-4135928848830611697Sun, 12 Feb 2017 04:51:00 +00002017-02-12T04:51:39.560+00:00I have a feeling birds are all insomniacs*. My theory is flawless, being that its five in the morning and I'm yet to sleep, I've had plenty of time to think it through. My reasoning? The birds so-called "Dawn Chorus" isn't them singing and greeting the sun... No, they are screaming in frustration that the sun is about to come up, they're exhausted, and have yet to sleep! My theory is http://www.0ddness.co.uk/2017/02/suspicion.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Dan)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173441.post-5331478772624525830Fri, 10 Feb 2017 04:05:00 +00002017-02-10T04:05:40.811+00:00illinsomniameAt four in the morning, pain and tiredness do funny things to my brain. Well, funnier than usual at least. My current train of thought relates with how people treat me, act towards me, of their opinion of me... Now, these are not the usual things like "do they think I'm fat" or "do they think I'm boring" but more towards my physical and mental issues. It's no secret that I hate how I am. I http://www.0ddness.co.uk/2017/02/i-wish-people-understood.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Dan)2Basildon, United Kingdom51.5604431 0.4915035tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173441.post-8825585825831767923Sun, 15 Jan 2017 09:00:00 +00002017-01-16T01:41:22.910+00:00bethanybirthdayIt's hard to imagine, and hard to write this - hence the delay in posting. But today, my beautiful angel, Bethany, would have been sixteen years old... I can't wrap my head around it. Today, I've been flashing back to the day that she was born, and my memories are as fresh as they've always been. But those memories were intermingled with the day she left. For the most part I've kept to myself http://www.0ddness.co.uk/2017/01/sweet-sixteen.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Dan)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173441.post-1392801408800827936Tue, 29 Nov 2016 09:54:00 +00002016-11-29T09:54:11.833+00:00There is something about pain that is so hard to deal with. Anyone that suffers from any kind of chronic pain condition might understand what I'm saying, but of late, it's something I've found to be has to deal with. First off, when you tell someone you're in pain, straight away there's the whole faith part of it. You can't see pain, so when you tell people you're in agony, they either believe http://www.0ddness.co.uk/2016/11/pain.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Dan)1Basildon, United Kingdom51.5635263 0.4976998tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173441.post-5621615109539371220Wed, 23 Nov 2016 03:25:00 +00002016-11-23T03:25:08.557+00:00 So, assuming I've done it right, the image above sums up how I'm doing of late. And, if I'm honest, it's not what you'd call "great" or anything in that general area. Tonight's insomnia is less insomnia, more my M.E being its usual wanky self. The last couple of days have been slightly more active than usual, and because I took extra spoons out of my week, I am now suffering. I am exhausted. http://www.0ddness.co.uk/2016/11/end-of-my-rope-again.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Dan)2Basildon, United Kingdom51.5634185 0.4973522tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173441.post-5823895663522986955Thu, 26 May 2016 07:43:00 +00002016-05-26T08:43:41.387+01:00So, yesterday evening, I decided I'd chill out with a mug of green tea. It - and chamomile - are the only "herbal" teas I enjoy. Of course, Poppy being Poppy, she wanted to try some, so I let her try a little. And of course, Poppy being Poppy, she enjoyed it. So I tried a little more, and she still liked it. In the end, being the wonderful amazing daddy that I am, I made her her own cup of http://www.0ddness.co.uk/2016/05/the-tasmanian-devil.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Dan)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173441.post-9077770069118566852Sat, 21 May 2016 02:54:00 +00002016-05-21T03:54:16.975+01:00 There is something about insomnia, or my body clock, or my brain, that is just bizarre. Or humans in general? Whatever it is, I don't get it. I don't understand how I can be exhausted all day long, and decide an early night is what I need - only to find myself still wide awake seven hours later. It's pushing 4am here and obviously, no other bastard is awake. I've always been a night owl, but http://www.0ddness.co.uk/2016/05/ah-joys.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Dan)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173441.post-7439163703113952899Sun, 15 May 2016 03:07:00 +00002016-05-15T04:07:36.272+01:00It's been a long long time since I put in an appearance online. I've not blogged in a long time, haven't been on Facebook since last Autumn, Twitter only sporadically, and Instagram only now & then. The last couple of months have been long, hard and arduous... And the fact I'm here at half three in the morning should also suggest how well I'm coping with my insomnia, let alone everything elsehttp://www.0ddness.co.uk/2016/05/long-time-no-sleep.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Dan)0Basildon, United Kingdom51.5634278 0.4951265tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173441.post-3949335702850515668Sun, 21 Feb 2016 02:52:00 +00002016-02-21T02:52:08.713+00:00So, today is the 21st of February. A day which I feel more than see has arrived. I don't know, maybe I'm attuned to it after so many years, maybe I subconsciously know the date, maybe I'm blocking it out but it still appears. Today marks eleven years since losing my beautiful little Bethy. Eleven years. Sometimes it seems so raw, other times it just feels like it was a million years ago... http://www.0ddness.co.uk/2016/02/the-21st.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Dan)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173441.post-3807525741374195374Fri, 15 Jan 2016 19:16:00 +00002016-01-15T19:17:39.830+00:00bethanybirthday Hard to think that today, my beautiful Bethy would have turned 15 years old. Thanks to my brain being so tired of late, last night and today have been quite rough, but I've tried to keep my mind occupied... Between a mixture of Sherlock, World of Warcraft, and Fringe, I've been able to carry on, but I know I'm distracted by her not being here. Poppy has been all smiles and cuddles today, andhttp://www.0ddness.co.uk/2016/01/happy-birthday-baby.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Dan)2Basildon, United Kingdom51.5604214 0.4917001tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173441.post-7816307532969901880Sun, 20 Dec 2015 01:09:00 +00002016-01-15T19:17:54.584+00:00kellie Just... Wow... http://www.0ddness.co.uk/2015/12/kellie-had-drink.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Dan)0Basildon, United Kingdom51.56043 0.4916872