Late last month The Dude and I played a few of these games, almost as a joke to see who could keep a straight face throughout the process the longest. Interestingly, some of them were more fun than (I think) either of us anticipated, so here's my run-down of some of my favs.

Sexy Game #1: A Hot Affair... With Your Partner

A Hot Affair... With Your Partner is tied with the next sexy game on this list for my favorite. Not only did it get me laughing with The Dude, but we had the option to make the game mild or wild depending on our mood.

Sexy Game #2: Lust!

A card-based board game with 30,000 different "Love Making" variations, Lust! is definitely meant to be enjoyed as a couples-only game. You roll the die and progress along the board by selecting cards that are then acted out together, culminating in the winner who ultimately decides (with consent) which cards get acted out in sequence for an unusual how-to. I liked Lust! for its ability to shake things up between us, but I don't know if it would be a weekly or even monthly thing. Still, it was a whole lotta fun.

Sexy Game #3: Fetish!

Ok now we've found a sexy game! Fetish is definitely an adults-only game, where two people discover what sexual fetishes they possess via the four fetishes of Food, Feet, Voyeurism and Domination. Its a board game, and you progress depending on which fetish interests you. If none of them do? Pick another sexy game.

Sexy Game #4: Sexdrive

Kind of a mix between a racing car game and a sexual knowledge game, Sexdrive quizzes 2-6 players on a variety of adult questions from eight different categories. I both enjoyed bits and pieces of this game and got caught up in some of the language/play, but it might be fun with a group of, well, open-minded folks.

Sexy Game #5: Sexy Secrets Game

Kind of a naughty truth or dare, the sexy secrets game wasn't too bad. The box said it can be played with 2-6 people, but I thought that some of the, er, 'skeletons in the closet' -type questions were a bit much for folks who don't know each other intimately.

Sexy Game #6: Adult Loaded Questions

More of an adult-themed party game than a sexy game for couples, Adult Loaded Questions asks players to answer a question by writing it down, and then reading the answers aloud to guess who said what. Players advance by guessing correctly. I wouldn't want to play it with my family, but its not that much of a 'sexy' game per say, although still a lot of fun.

Technorati Tags: sex, sexy games, The Dude

After a year and a bit, we aren't anywhere near where many couples run to after only three months of dating. You know what I mean; the folks that are ooey gooey with one another, telling each other, "I love you!" ad nauseum and moving in after barely finding out each other's last names. No, we're pretty low key. The L word hasn't been spoken, there's no moving in talk, and we don't even refer to one another as boyfriend and girlfriend. Partners, yes.

So what happened to all the other folks already mentioned? A brief recap:

• Never heard from The Mechanic again after our first and only date;
• I moved away so that Behinder no longer lived behind me, and he moved the gf he left me for into his home. We talk maybe twice a year, when he contacts me to see how I'm doing;
• The Farmer and I never met, although we still chat occasionally;
• Goblin and I continued to hang out/chat platonically until recently. When he decided to meet a single mom who lived out of town by planning to stay at her home for their first weekend visit, I became quite upset and he didn't understand why.
• Better Than Sex Guy? I'm at a loss as to figure out who that was. I will soon and repost. EDIT: Alrighty, I went back and looked. The dude who stood me up and blew me off?! Why on earth he got so much air time in this blog is beyond me now. I'd completely forgotten about him.

Technorati Tags: Behinder, Better Than Sex Guy, Farmer Guy, Goblin, my dates, The Dude, The Mechanic

So I worked hard to set a time and place with The Mechanic, a man I've been chatting with for well over six months but haven't been able to meet. When I asked him why that was, he said that my canceling once at the last minute made him think I was trying to blow him off. I assured him it wasn't, so we moved forward from there. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to make the next four dates I'd suggested, and I got the feeling he was trying to pursue things with someone else, so I laid low and didn't bother. Until now.

I suggested several different date times and places, but each one he already had things to do. It came out that my hunch was true; there was a gal pursuing him that lived 4hrs away and was in town visiting for the holidays, and although he assured me he wasn't interested in a long distance thing, he'd still planned to go out with her while she was here. Exasperated, I threw out one final idea. Surprisingly, he accepted. Friday it was, at a local coffee shop.

As the week passed however, he contacted me via MSN to say that he'd thrown out his back and was in massive pain, unsure if he could keep our date. He'd text me beforehand to let me know what happened. Since I'd already planned to be at the coffee shop anyway, I went with a good book and whittled some time away. Fifteen minutes before he was supposed to show up, I got a text message telling me he was feeling 'marginal' but had seen the doctor, so he was on his way.

When he walked in I was speaking with the coffee shop owner, who quickly excused himself as The Mechanic sat down. Again surprised, the guy looked better in person than in his photos - but before I could say anything he started talking. The next three hours I said very little. It was refreshing, considering I'm a yak-your-ears-off kinda gal, and gave me a bit of time to reflect on whether or not I wanted to get to know him better without having to worry about impressing him too much.

Still, I was having a hard time reading the guy. Was he just rattling off his standard stories? He didn't ask me any questions at all during the date, which I found a bit odd. Later, he admitted he was quite a shy man when it came to women, and had been burned numerous times. Since most women were incredibly aggressive with him, he didn't have to do much in the way of showing interest... but that wasn't the kind of relationship he wanted, either.

I left, a bit confused yet still interested in learning more. We parted ways without a handshake or hug, but he did tell me when he was free and that we should go for sushi soon (since that was our initial plan but we got caught up taking so never made it to the restaurant).

Will I see The Mechanic again? I hope so; I'd like to get to know him better without the specter of first date jitters, for starters. I asked him to join me on a walk last night but he declined because his back was still giving him problems. Perhaps later this week we'll get to meet up again.

Technorati Tags: emotionally distant men, mechanic, meeting someone, my dates, online chats, online dating, quality dating prospects

Technorati Tags: dating motivation, my dates, online chats

He also encouraged me to be myself with him, because he hates that we can't be ourselves, together. Hm. That's weird. Considering that being ourselves with one another would mean he'd be cheating on his gf...

Also encouraged me to continue hoping he'll one day come to his senses. Have it all with me. Also admitted he was 'conflicted' about her and I at one point, but he's now "sure" about how he feels with regards to her. Never told me this of course. Never gave me the opportunity. Just ignored me, and spent all of his time with her.

I'm so incredibly confused and hurt that I can't even put it into words anymore. All I know is this: there is a lack of humanity in all of this, and I deserve SO much better. Onto new years, and new beginnings with people who deserve me in their lives.

Technorati Tags: Behinder, betrayal, ones who got away

Its been a doozy of a year. Behinder has taken up most of my emotional currency, even after spending more than six months of the year not talking to him. I recently had to eat crow and ask him for help with someTHING only he could do (wow, Freudian misspelling there), and he was more than willing (even eager) to become a part of my life again. Even told me that he felt nothing but "remorse, regret and arousal" for me/the situation. But of course, he's still dating the STD Nurse -- a moniker given because she's a nurse, and she gave him an STD -- the woman who lives three hours away that he left me for. Last we spoke, he asked me what he had to do so we could be friends again, and I advised him at the very least, it was to come completely clean with STD Nurse about my role in his life, and what he did to me. He assured me a month ago, before a three-week long trip to visit said-gal, that he would. Haven't heard boo about the topic since. Methinks he didn't.

Otherwise, I dated a man 11 years my junior for about a month during the summer, but that ended in a blaze of smoke and weirdness. There isn't a nice way to explain why it didn't work out; he's just not a smart man. Which, I've learned, is a mandatory on my itsy bitsy list of must-haves.

I've met four other men this year:

• Better Than Sex Guy, who has full custody of a child that isn't his biological son, and who blew me and all dates off after running into me randomly on the street;
• Goblin, who as per his request I shall not write about other to comment on discussions we've had;
• The Erotica Writer, a military man on medical leave that lives a couple of blocks away. Some potential deal-breakers here, therefore I don't think it'll go anywhere other than friendship;
• Recently Separated Mover, an older gent who contacted me just before moving clear across the country. I felt no attraction towards this man, both when he showed me his photos and when we met, but he seemed to feel differently and would unexpectedly run into me at a regular haunt of mine regularly, until he met a gal closer to him in age that he started dating; and
• The DJ, who told me within 10 minutes of meeting that he thought we'd be "better off as friends with benefits. What do you think?" Its too bad, because he was by far the most interesting of the lot.

I've also chatted with a handful of men this year that I never got the chance to meet:

• Crazy Ass Dude, an out of towner with some serious drug addictions and trust issues. I think he may call me Crazy Ass Chick... I wasn't too nice and called him on his shit, thus blowing up any probability of ever meeting;
• Stu. Couldn't come up with a better handle. We talked on the phone a fair amount earlier in the year, but when he told me a drawn-out story about a woman who'd accused him of raping her (charges were dropped), I took a step back and stopped initiating contact. It seems he did the same;
• Arctic Black, another out of towner who I loved chatting with, but he lived a good four hours away, so it seemed pointless to continue;
• Beaton, an ex from many years ago who got married earlier this year. I introduced him to poly relationships while we were together, and he's now adopted the lifestyle as his own (with his wife's full participation and approval). Later this year he admitted he still had a thing for me, and even though his wife thought he was bonkers for considering it, he "knew" we'd be together again at some point. It's all chat, nothing has happened and I'm doubtful anything ever will, but he's helped me process a lot of relationship crap recently I probably couldn't have otherwise;
• Hamish. He looks an awful lot like Behinder, which I'm ashamed to admit is why I contacted him when I noticed him looking at my online dating profile. We've become fast friends, although he's in a relationship and has been pretty much since we 'met'. Still, the lines are a bit blurry with him, and I have to wonder what would happen if we ever did meet face to face, even though he too lives about three or four hours away.
• The Farmer, another out of towner who has become a favorite chat buddy, but whom I doubt I'll ever meet face to face;
• The Mechanic, who I've been talking with for a couple of months now. Always good for a giggle, I enjoy our chats but haven't been able to nail him down to a time and place to meet. Next week looks promising though... perhaps it'll happen before New Years'. One can hope.

Technorati Tags: artic black, beaton, Behinder, Better Than Sex Guy, crazy ass dude, deal breakers, erotica writer, farmer, Goblin, hamish, mechanic, new years eve, ones who got away, recently seperated mover, single dads, stu, The DJ

To me, those are signs. Cliches even. (He's Just Not That Into You?) If a man can't make time, for a first date or a third, then I'm not sure why I want to either.

I'm still a bit bummed by it all though. I get a bit misty over the holidays sometimes. I love giving gifts, finding that perfect present that makes my loved ones' eyes light up with joy. And I do this for my friends and family... but its just not the same when you're dating someone. Shows like Ugly Betty don't help either. I find myself longing for one character in particular (Gio) to make a real-life appearance in my life.

I even threw this little itty bitty character crush off a friend earlier today to see if I was out to lunch. "Is my want for someone to sweep me off my feet with everyday romance a bit fucked up?" I boldly queried. "Nah," he told me. "There are men like that everywhere."

I'm still thinking about this one and until I figure it out, I have a feeling I'll be dateless.

Technorati Tags: dateless, longing, romance, sweep me off my feet, The Mechanic

It started when I shared the comments of, interestingly enough, one of the same people who has been jeering me about still having feelings for the guy. "You need the sense fucked into you," he said. I might as well come up with a name for the guy, since I've mentioned him twice now. Er... yes. The Goblin, because it suits his personality well.

Goblin was harassing me about having hot and heavy sex talks with behinder on a semi-regular basis. Prompted by me? No, no, definitely not. Behinder would go out of his way to try and bring up past shared sexual experiences to gauge my reaction, or tease me with things he knew I found arousing. His coup de gras was getting me to masturbate after getting so excited that I couldn't help myself. Not in his presence mind you. Just online via chat. Of course, he was doing the same thing.

Was it wrong? It felt wrong, but oh-so-right at the same time. Later, much later, I found out that he was dating the STD nurse during this whole eight month long fiasco. She had no idea at the time what her boyfriend was doing with me, nor did she know of the overlap between us when they first met. Eventually she 'forgave him' his transgressions, because "nothing physical ever happened". Whatever helps you sleep at night, right?

When I found out about him having a girlfriend while seducing me yet again, I blew up. Wasn't pretty, but was drawn out. I felt betrayed in ways I couldn't describe - even more so than if we'd done the deed (again). Why? Because to me, the seduction was more intimate than any sexual encounter Behinder and I had shared - and we'd shared some intensely personal sessions. And so now, I won't talk sex with an ex - because I know now that (a) he's probably got someone else I don't know about, and (b) its so much more intimate for me to get in my head than get in my pants.

Technorati Tags: Behinder, betrayal, Goblin, intimacy, online chat, seduction, sex, std nurse

But as Goblin said to me the other day, Behinder is partially delusional too. He purposely led me on and deceived me, so really, its time to accept Behinder chose a sex doll over substance -- and move on.

Technorati Tags: Behinder, delusional, Goblin, heartbroken, sex doll

He told me last night that when he first met me I seemed 'whacky, zany, and independent', but now I seemed 'needy'. I came right back with a denial of that word: I'm not needy, I said. I need an appropriate amount of love, and you're withdrawing yours and I'm calling you on that. That's not needy.

Technorati Tags: being needy, sexagenarian in the city