1001 Petals

Goin' to the movies!

noreply@blogger.com (1001 Petals) — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 16:55:00 +0000

I've seen a movie nearly every Monday night for a few months now. My husband and I negotiated that in the fall - I needed some regular time off. He gets alone time, too.

I probably should go to yoga or pilates but I LOVE movies, they've always been such great mental refreshment for me. Since we had children I rarely get to watch a film uninterrupted at home.

I go to a theatre that's just 5 mins away from my house so as to minimize the time I'm away and won't see a movie longer than 2.5 hrs. Most are about two hours long; I think that length is just right. Remember when movies were all about 1.5 hrs long? Now only some comedies and children's movies are. It's odd how that's evolved.

Anyway, I love the routine, I like that the staff has gotten to know me, and I especially love that out here in the suburbs, almost no one goes to the movies on a Monday night. I frequently get a private showing for only $8.75! Bliss.

My job

noreply@blogger.com (1001 Petals) — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 14:36:00 +0000

"Mommy, play cars with me."

"I'm looking for a job."

"What you say?"

"I'm looking for a job."

"You already have a job. Take care of us."

I was pretty surprised a 4 year old came up with this.

a typical day in the life

noreply@blogger.com (1001 Petals) — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 16:11:00 +0000

I wake up too early, because Oliver has woken up too early. Last night wasn't too bad, he only woke up 5 or 6 times, versus the typical 15-20 he's been averaging the last few weeks. I am so exhausted and think of how it's been a while since I asked my husband to let me sleep in for a bit. It's now been over 4 years since I had an entire night's sleep. My husband has slept separately from us since Victoria Elle was 6 months old and he couldn't take being woken up so much. I try not to ask more than once a month if I could sleep in, he gets angry easily. We go to his room and I ask him if he'd take Oliver. He tells me to give him to him, in his bed. I know Oliver won't go for that, he wants to be UP! As I start to explain this, Oliver clings desperately to me, even feigning that he wants to breastfeed cause he knows that this is the one way he absolutely gets to stick to me. As he nurses I try to reason with my husband. My husband is very angry, he says that is my opinion and to just pass Oliver over.

Five minutes later I am wide awake and my husband has realized the futility in trying to get Oliver to stay in any bed. He takes him downstairs and blasts the tv. I lay in Oliver's bed begging myself to sleep for a few mins, thinking of how mean my husband is (nothing new.)

I can hear them being loud down there, playing. He isn't changing his night diaper. He isn't feeding him breakfast. I can't sleep. I get up.

We have almost no groceries. Victoria Elle is still sleeping. Maybe we can manage to go out and come back before she wakes up -- that would make things so simple! It's so much easier to go with just one child, plus it takes some work to get V going once she wakes up. .. I change Oliver's diaper. I feed him. While he's eating I make my own breakfast. I sit down but Oliver is done with his. I take him out of his chair, clean him up. I try to set him down with some toys. By now he's been awake for over an hour and is getting fussy. I sit him down on my lap. He flips my plate over and knocks my breakfast on the floor. No breakfast for me, we don't have any breakfast foods left. Not even bread for toast. We really have to go to the store. I'm starved, especially since I nurse pretty much all night long, but again, this is nothing new.

I go upstairs with Oliver to get both of us dressed. Just as we're almost done Victoria Elle wakes up. My sweet, sweet, sweet little girl! I hug her, embrace her, tell her how much I love her. She is awesome. I tell her I want to go to the store before Oliver gets too tired, so let's get dressed and have breakfast quickly.

I dress her. She wants pigtails in her hair. . .usually she doesn't, and usually I want them in cause they look so cute. Fortunately it doesn't take too long, she actually stands still. We all go downstairs. Oliver has been well behaved, hasn't thrown anything into any toilets or gotten himself into any dangerous positions while I tended to Victoria. I am relieved.

Victoria wants oatmeal with blueberries and maple syrup. It only takes a few mins to make, it's a breakfast I've been making for her since she was about 8 months old (Oliver, conversely, hates oatmeal.) I make it and to make sure she eats it without dawdling, I feed her. I do this on school mornings, else she only eats 2 bites or takes about an hour to eat. She also really enjoys me babying her. Oliver plays on the floor with some toys while I feed Victoria, one bite after the other -- no excuses, no trouble at all! I am overjoyed, this is going really well!

We can go to the store before Oliver gets too tired! By now it's been almost 2 hours since he woke up. Victoria starts coughing, her and Oliver have had colds on and off for over two months. She coughs so hard she vomits up her entire breakfast. It lands on the upholstered chair, her shirt, pants, and as a puddle on the floor. My poor baby. I sweep up Oliver onto my hip, hold V's hand, and take her upstairs to change and clean up.

I get her into some fresh clothes, get her to rinse out her mouth. I ask her if she wants a second breakfast. Chicken noodle soup.

Oliver is fussing like crazy.

We are not going to the store this morning.

I clean up all the vomit, telling myself it is just spilled oatmeal, no it is not vomit. This is the only way I can prevent myself from vomiting all over the vomit.

I make the chicken noodle soup using some stock I made and froze last week, rice noodles, and chopped up vegetables. I give it to Victoria Elle and bring Oliver upstairs to get him to sleep. After 50 minutes my back is killing me, I am starved. I feel like crying a bit but hey. I decide to try to take a break, maybe style my hair while he is in the carrier and then start trying again (nursing, singing, pacing, rocking.) My husband had told me earlier not to bother him that day cause he has very important work to do (he says this almost everyday, I no longer buy it.) But I guess he's heard me trying for almost an hour and knows he can get him to sleep in 5 mins (as I wrote about before.) I refuse, no I don't want you to use this against me later! (he will later say he needs to work all evening and can't help me cause he was interrupted during the day.) He promises he won't. He gets him to sleep in 5 mins.

Now I am typing, drinking my first coffee of the day. It is 11:33am.

So if you're wondering why I don't blog much anymore, it's cause I'm just trying to make it to the store.

another stressful birthday party

noreply@blogger.com (1001 Petals) — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 21:58:00 +0000

A problem we have, I have, with Victoria Elle's birthday parties is I think she expects a lot of guests. We don't have many friends with children her age, yet I've managed to scrounge some up for previous parties. It won't be so easy now that we live over an hour away from the downtown core.

She expects guests her own age because of books and television.

She has two friends at school, not girls she adores but mentions occasionally. Is it ok if I send some invitations with her to school for these girls? If they actually show up would it be weird for the parents? Especially when they see that they're pretty much the guests of honour?? The only other children there will be my niece and nephew (just turned 2 yrs old and MAYBE a little girl she's seen occasionally since birth, an old friend of mine's daughter. But that girl is now 6 yrs old and not really into spending time with Victoria Elle :( as we discovered a couple months ago at our last get together :( It's sad cause V adores her and talks about her all the time. . ..

Reminds me of how I used to be. I tend to have just a couple people I consider my very best friends but meanwhile they have like a dozen or more friends they consider to be the same as me, if even. argh. I'm old and cynical enough now not to care or to bother even really trying very much at all, but V is so innocent and sweet and caring. . . .it breaks my heart, a bit.

I have no idea what to do. She knows her birthday is coming up so is talking about her party a lot. A few minutes ago she asked for streamers (but she doesn't know what they're called, she called them ribbons.)

I wish I could hire some children to come.

Growing up so fast

noreply@blogger.com (1001 Petals) — Sat, 19 Nov 2011 03:26:00 +0000

It's becoming a bit difficult lately to ascertain how much to tell Victoria Elle, when certain situations come up. I've scared her a bit by saying too much, before.

Today two such situations arose. With the first, she wanted to kiss me on the lips. I thought it was going to be on the cheek, then saw she was going for my lips and I thought what the heck. But she wanted it to be a looong kiss. I said, "sweetie, family, like Mommy and Daddy and Oliver and you usually kiss on the cheek." She insisted she wanted to kiss on the lips. I asked where she got that idea from. She said from Beauty and the Beast (her favourite movie.) I said, "well, when you really, really love somebody you kiss them on the lips." She said, "I really, really love you, Mommy!" *heart melt* I was very happy at hearing this of course and said I loved her very, very much too. After a moment's thought I added that when she meets her Beast, she can kiss them on the lips for a long time, if she likes :) Fortunately the conversation ended there cause I'm not sure what more I could say.

Later on, as I was unpacking some things in my bathroom, she picked up a menstrual pad (unused, in the package.) "What's this?" Hm. "It's like kleenex." "It doesn't look like kleenex." Ah. Quick thinking, what is appropriate to say to someone who is not even 4? I have a propensity toward great detail and she won't understand it all. . ..how do I sum it up in an age appropriate way?

"When girls get bigger they bleed once in a while. They put those in their underwear to catch the blood."

Thank goodness she was satisfied with that simple response and didn't ask any further questions. It's just too much for a 4 year old to get!

--
Today I finally put some photos I printed out, before the move this summer, into albums. Seeing Oliver and Victoria Elle from a year ago. . oh my gosh. They were so much smaller. Even my husband and I looked younger. Watching them grow is so bittersweet. I hardly can fathom seeing them as teenagers, let alone adults with their own families. I feel ever so fortunate for the blessing that is them.

A very bad boy

noreply@blogger.com (1001 Petals) — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 11:51:00 +0000

It is the morning after we've arrived home from our latest vacation. We went to see my sister-in-law and her family in Raleigh, North Carolina for 5 days. It was incredibly stressful. They were very accommodating and nice but it was still stressful for me. I've avoided America for years because I'm sorry to say, that although I like an awful lot of you your country is very distasteful to me. It feels so dirty no matter where I go - the nicest areas to the gritty streets of Manhattan. But that is not what woke me up at dawn with my heart racing and adrenalin rushing.

I've taken some B complex, which I hadn't taken since last week, so hopefully that will help calm my body.

I had to scream at a very bad boy yesterday. Ha, the screamer - me! I'm very glad I did it, this time, though.

My sister-in-law brought us to a mall near her home during our last few hours as it had a play area and a bunch of those coin-operated rides. My beautiful, sensitive, generous and kind V was riding a carousel when this other little boy, about 4 or 5, pulled her hair very hard. I didn't see this, I was away getting food while my husband watched her. He scooped her up and held her while she cried her little eyes out. Oliver occasionally pulls her hair, she cries out when he does that. This was different. She cried really hard for about 5 minutes, I finally got there (though I heard her from across the food court and she'd been touchy for the entire holiday so figured it was something behavioural) and asked right away, "is she hurt?" I wanted to make sure it wasn't that. But it was that.

I asked who the offender was, scooped up V into my arms and marched over to the little boy and his parents at their table. I gestured toward V crying and made an expression as to say, "what about this?" I wasn't sure if they spoke English, they were speaking Spanish and looked very fresh-off-the-boat (or car, I guess.) (And by the way, I am not racist like many Americans are, I love Mexico and Mexicans and had nary a bad experience during our holiday there earlier this year. I'm very sensitive about that since being in racist America.)

The mother, crazily enough, gestured in a way to mean, "and so what am I supposed to do?" This all happened in about 2 seconds. I said, "your son needs to say sorry." She told her son to say sorry. He wouldn't. She prompted him to, insisted (in Spanish) several times. He apparently finally said it, into her shoulder (not that I or V heard) cause she said, "he said it." Ok. . .I decided to let it go. I then saw the boy try to race back to the carousel but the parents held him back. Good, I thought.

V gets back on the carousel as does another little boy being supervised by his grandmother. Next thing we know the bad boy comes racing back on. But unlike the other children, he's not sitting still. There are three cars on the carousel and he is jumping on and off his, going between all the cars, then going onto the floor, off the ride completely, but holding onto it so he is being dragged on the floor. . .The grandmother and I are chatting and I told her what that boy did. . .she is shaking her head saying that is awful and oh my, what he's doing is dangerous, he could get pulled under. The parents, who are a few tables away do nothing. She says nothing to him. I definitely say nothing at all. We just watch. . ..

Does that earn me a seat in hell? Well, I don't think so and I swear right now the only thing I'd regret if he would've gotten pulled under and macerated into a nice pulp is that my daughter may have caught a glimpse.

Yes, this is who you're reading.

What did happen is he hopped back on, right behind my daughter. I saw the glint in his eye. He was right behind her beautiful head of hair, getting closer. .. I screamed. Not just a loud voice. I SCREAMED. "GET AWAY FROM MY GIRL! GO! GO! RIGHT NOW! GO!" He got scared and ran off. I turned around and screamed like bloody murder at the parents, "IF YOU DON'T KEEP YOUR SON AWAY I'M CALLING SECURITY! I'M GOING TO CALL FOR SECURITY!" (Which is really what I should have done off the bat.)

Later when my husband took little Oliver outside for a little bit, a little while later, he said he saw the boy take a swipe at another child. He said the parents laughed about it.

--
Big exhale.

--

I don't like screaming. I don't like having to scream. It has me up at dawn, having dreamed of trying to call 9-1-1 on a few different phones to no effect. It has my heart racing. It makes me feel awful.

Do I regret it this time? Absolutely not.

The Baby Screamer

noreply@blogger.com (1001 Petals) — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 15:53:00 +0000

You heard of the baby whisperer? Well, I'm the baby screamer. I screamed at Oliver today.

I screamed at my 1 year old baby :(

He wouldn't go to sleep. It happens sometimes. He acts very, very tired. It is his nap time. He's teething, has a mild cold. I've been stressed packing and looking up details and planning our trip to see in-laws in the States (leaving tomorrow.) He is getting bigger, bigger than a 2 year old we know. He is transitioning out of the rock to sleep stage, but too wiggly and mobile to just lay there and nurse to sleep. Or be sung to sleep. For over an hour he kicked me, most of the time in the throat. Escaped many times, sometimes I let him. So tired he falls after just one step. Cries almost constantly. Did I mention this was just over an hour? Bites my nipples, bites my shoulder. Pulls my hair, chews on my hair. Screams, cries in exhaustion, in injury, in frustration. And that is just him.

I sing over and over, going through our familiar repetoire. I try my best to figure out what will work. Walk around rocking him, nursing him. Walk around snuggling, singing. Sit down rocking him. Lay down next to him, stroking his hair. Humming, singing, silence. Movement, no movement. In the carrier, in my arms, in no one's arms. Nothing works. I start to feel really badly. Anger and sadness start rising.

I scream, "SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!" I put him down on his bed. "JUST STAY THERE!!!!"

I am a baby screamer.

I need a new strategy. I don't want to be a baby screamer. It takes a lot for me to lose my temper, only happens a few times a year or less. But I hate it whenever it happens.

--
The above situation was resolved by my WAH husband rushing upstairs at hearing my screaming, and getting him to sleep in under 5 mins. He always does this. It makes me so jealous. I routinely spend 20 mins to an hour getting Oliver to sleep and Richard can do it, after my efforts or even before I start to try, in about 5 mins. If only he'd be willing to always do it.

Cleaning baby

noreply@blogger.com (1001 Petals) — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 19:27:00 +0000

Now if only I could get him to fold laundry...

I'm Prepping!

noreply@blogger.com (1001 Petals) — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 14:45:00 +0000

Thanks to Bitsy at The Glass Half Empty I've become ~~paranoid~~ concerned about being prepared in case ~~the world as we know it ends~~ we experience a blip in life. Actually, I'm more concerned about inclement weather since apparently we get a lot more snow up here and the closest grocery store is about a half-hour walk away... Plus it would be pretty wretched to have to walk in this very non-pedestrian-friendly area. My husband doesn't drive yet, though he did get his learner's permit, so I'm also prepping in case I get sick, or something like that, and can't leave the house.

Prepping at this point, to me, means having a few weeks of food and other consumables, a "go" bag, and an emergency travel kit for the car. I also need to come up with some little emergency kit I can throw into whatever handbag I'm using that day. That's just a matter of being prepared for the kids getting hurt while we're out, or if they have an allergic reaction, or if a massive fireball hits the house and we have time to run....

All I've done so far is collect some extra non-perishable food.

I need some water, more grains, maybe some fruits and vegetables, dried milk...ok, I can think of a tonne more things we should have. I don't want to get carried away (check back in 5 years when I have a fully stocked underground bunker and a firearms license....). No, seriously, I don't believe Canada is in any immediate danger. I do think the environment is going to hell, that prices are being raised faster than salaries are, and that hard times won't suddenly be upon us but are creeping up. We've been here before, it's just a cycle I'm sure humanity will manage to work itself out of.

So yes, now that I have the space a house affords us, I'm just collecting a few things when I see that they're on major sale. In case I break a leg or we're trapped inside for a couple weeks due to an ice storm. That's all.

What to feed an older baby

noreply@blogger.com (1001 Petals) — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 00:46:00 +0000

These meal ideas also work for children and adults.

Lentils with brown or wild rice, finely chopped mushrooms and zucchini

In a pot or deep pan, sautee some mushrooms and zucchini in some olive oil and butter - not much. When they're lightly browned, add water, the lentils and rice and a bit of salt. Garlic also tastes very good with this dish. Simmer for about 25 mins or until the lentils and rice are soft. Grated cheese on top, such as a strong cheddar, is super delicious.

My daughter hates mushrooms but can't taste them in this dish.

Chickpeas with couscous

Pour some chicken or vegetable (not tomato-y) broth in a small pot. Add very finely minced carrot, zucchini (I use it a lot because it kind of melts into these dishes), and maybe some red pepper and spinach if you're little one is ok with them. After 5 mins of a boil, turn off heat and throw in some soft chickpeas and couscous (uncooked.). Cover for 5 mins or so, add a pat of butter and serve.

Quinoa with chicken

I prepare this very similarly to the couscous but it takes longer to cook. If you have leftover cooked chicken, chop it up into tiny pieces, or sautée some in a pan. Add whatever finally chopped vegetables you like - peas and carrots are good with this - add water and the quinoa. Cook for about 20 mins. It's also especially good with some butter. Quinoa, if you haven't had it, is chockfull of vitamins and minerals. It's not the yummiest but it's ok so I prepare it regularly for myself and the children.

The challenge of motherhood

noreply@blogger.com (1001 Petals) — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 14:46:00 +0000

I don't know a mother out there that isn't struggling. How in the world do some men get the idea that if we complain it's cause we're deficient? Being a parent isn't easy for anybody.

Case in point:

How do you cope when you're not coping

A letter

(Please add your own links in a comment, maybe this could become a post people send their partners when their partners claim everyone else can handle it but you.)

Even my own mother, if I dare be honest when she asks how I am, unable to cope with the added pressure of my struggle says,"you're stupid" or "you shouldn't have had kids if you can't handle it." That's her own inadequacy talking. She can't bear her own weight let alone mine for even a moment. After years of abuse, I get that and can (mostly) brush it off and see her for what she is.

We all have great days when we manage to have a clean house, yummy meals, plenty of positive quality time with those who matter most, you know, check all our boxes. Days we feel like a supermom! But there are also a lot of very difficult days where it's a challenge to accomplish even the basics. Even getting everyone fed and dressed seems like a Herculean effort due to various ill-timed circumstances The self-sacrificing nature of our roles as parents can eat us alive. I give so much that I starve pretty much everyday, I rarely get to shower, currently my clothes are hanging off me (70 lbs gone this year), I've just developed yet another physical manifestation of stress (the muscle under my eye has been twitching on and off for 4 days.) It's hard!!

But we keep breathing. We keep going. Take meds, practise yoga, tweet like mad, indulge in chocolate or wine. We all have our own outlets. Mine is tea and chocolate chip cookies, late at night, smartphone in hand. We do what we can to survive and savor the highs while leaving behind the lows. There is no magic resolution. And I think that's ok.

Our summer in photos

noreply@blogger.com (1001 Petals) — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 21:36:00 +0000

A few of these feature my niece and nephew, the twins I wrote about almost 2 years ago

Hello Again

noreply@blogger.com (1001 Petals) — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 15:54:00 +0000

We're in the new house now, in a new city, and settling in. What an adventure this summer has been! I wouldn't recommend transience to anybody, especially families with babies or toddlers. This is what our last few months looked like:

June: pack up condo.

July 1: move to Burlington, realize quickly the house is falling apart. Give notice 3 days in, go through a couple weeks of struggle to legally break 2 yr lease. Live out of a few boxes and suitcases, that were never packed to be lived out of, for a month. Comb through at least a hundred listings and look at at about 10 houses spread out around a 2 hr area. We're willing to take any decent house with a good school close by.

July 31st: Put almost all our possessions in storage since the house we ended up finding isn't available until August 16th. Stay at my mom's house for three days. My sister has been staying there with her husband, twins, and nanny since last October while they gut and reno their house. Normally there wouldn't be room for us but my mother and stepfather are away in Europe and said we can sleep in their bedroom. My family of four cram in and have a good time with my sister and her family. It's very loud, but nice.

August 3rd: Go to a cottage my mom's friend offered us...which was very, very generous... but also, well, not very comfortable. It smells horrible and isn't very clean, and the opposite of baby proofed. I'm very conflicted about it because although it was a very generous offer, it's gross. We make the best of it, but it costs a lot to do so. It rains a lot so I buy all of us rain gear (ours is packed away.) We eat off paper plates, buy our own condiments and food etc. and even have to buy cleaning products and a vacuum. We do get to visit our favourite Ontario beach several times, though! It was about a 25 min drive away. It was a nice little holiday. My husband does work from there, do not much if a holiday for him. I even take the children to some historic sites, like a 17th century Jesuit village (Saint Marie amongst the Hurons) and a 19th century naval village with ships.) We eventually get sick of it raining every other day, and it's chilled down so much I've had to buy us all warm clothes and a duvet for the kids. I'm so cheap I decide I'll just freeze a little at night. But then we decide to just leave 3 days early. I leave the place immaculate (did some deep cleaning) and a thank you card with $50 to cover the electricity we used. We also leave the pillows I had to buy (she had packed away everything. )

August 13th: We go to a lovely hotel! This was my favourite part of our adventures. Someone else to clean up after us! I get one with a mini fridge and microwave so we can save a bit of money. It isn't a luxury hotel, but not bargain-cheap either. Just nice. It's close to our new house and Canada's Wonderland, a huge amusement park. We all get season's passes and I take the kids there a couple days in a row while R continues to work.

August 15th: Agent calls and asks if we can move in a couple days later than originally agreed. While I hysterically alternate between crying and laughing (not really but seriously...) I say no, movers are already booked, we're in a hotel, we have to move in.

August 16th: The blessed day has arrived. We actually don't have movers, we normally do when we move but my stepfather and brother-in-law had offered to help and it was a crazy-expensive summer. (Did I mention we bought our very first car a couple days before we moved out of the Burlington house? An 8 month old Mitsubishi Outlander, we saved 8k versus buying it new.) But! My BIL got into a car accident a couple days before moving day and my stepfather isn't able to make it when we need him. R and I haul everything into the garage so the moving company can come and get their 20' container the next morning.

Today: It's been 2 weeks and I'm still bringing in things from the garage. Also, cause we went from an 800 sq ft 2 bdrm+den condo to a 2000sq ft house, plus finished basement, we've had A LOT to buy. Twice the bathrooms means more bathroom accessories, most of V's bedroom stuff went into the playroom, so she needs furniture. Oliver has his first room. We still need a lawnmower. We've bought mostly just accessories so far, baby gates, etc. It'll take at least a few months to set up everything.

I've registered V at the nearby school and she starts junior kindergarten on Wed. She'll be 4 on Dec. 21st so she just made the cut-off and I think she'll be ready. We've gone to Wonderland a few more times, it's so close to us; I try to spend the afternoons doing fun things with the kids.

I've also started refinishing an antique dresser (couldn't do that in the condo) and deep cleaning this house.

So that's where I'm at!

new house update

noreply@blogger.com (1001 Petals) — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 16:57:00 +0000

I haven't written cause I only have internet access on my phone. This house turned out to be a major dump, in such bad condition. I thought it only needed a coat of paint and new appliances but it turned out to have structural and plumbing issues, not worth fixing up at all considering we're just renting. A long story would go here if I had the time :( I have dozens of photos in case we end up going to court (don't think we'll need to) so will share details later.

Life is a constant struggle, going through legal avenues to get out of this 2 yr lease, finding a new house (and travelling up to 2 hrs one way to look at some.) Children requiring constant attention, especially Oliver as he's very mobile right now. Living out of a few open boxes and suitcases.

We did find a new house, 2 hrs away from here. I will update more when I have the time.

Right now I am 2 days past needing a shower and just clinging. Happy and healthy, but strained.

Hope you all are doing well. Let me know!! Am reading your blogs but it's difficult to comment on my phone.

Some totally unprofessional photos of us at the zoo

noreply@blogger.com (1001 Petals) — Sun, 12 Jun 2011 02:37:00 +0000

So I took both kids to the zoo on my own last week.

Oliver taking some of V's french fries. He loves them! I wish this photo wasn't blurry :(

There he goes taking some more!

I think he was eating blueberries here, that or biscuits. The cheese crackers on the side were just for V (too much salt for Oliver.)

V over a fox or wolf den (made up for kids.)

Attempt at self-portrait over lunch

V on the merry-go-round. I wasn't a very good photographer that day.

All three of us, as taken by a kind stranger who was gushing over the children.

How things are going around here

noreply@blogger.com (1001 Petals) — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 03:04:00 +0000

First, some photos:

--
My husband has started trying to help out more. He makes dinner (warms up frozen stuff I buy) once or twice a week. Thank goodness for Loblaws frozen meals -- most are pretty good and made with quality ingredients.

He also bathed Oliver for the first time last week and has fed him a few times.

Then today he did something very major. He got his learner's permit! I've been asking him on and off for four years, so it's a pretty major accomplishment. I really wasn't looking forward to driving him to the train station, and towing along two kids for whom it may not be convenient, every time he had to go into work; now I'll just have to do it for a year or so, until he graduates to the next stage of licensing and can drive on his own. It'll also be nice to not have all the driving fall on me -- often I wish I could sit in the back with the children when they need me. I am so relieved, I was wondering if he'd ever do it but now he has! Next challenge: hoping he goes to driving school! I have a feeling he will without much trouble.

Besides that, he's done things like clean the car, book a camping trip for us, buy us new phones. . .it's a great help. He is a good guy, he's just a day dreamer whereas I'm the type A hard worker.

--
Oliver is growing very quickly. Babies do grow very quickly but Oliver, at 7 months, is already wearing 12-18 month clothing. I'm a bit sad that I didn't get to have a tiny baby for very long, but he is SO adorable and sweet and funny, and still, a baby :) I suppose all it really has meant is that he hasn't worn some of his cute outfits for very long.

He started crawling properly last Wednesday after a couple months of that military-type crawling (on the stomach.) His very first tooth just popped above the surface of his gum a couple days ago. Victoria Elle didn't get her first tooth till she was a year old, and then she got four in the first month! Oliver hasn't been acting any different, so hopefully he isn't in pain. He has acted as though he's been teething since he was about 5 days old, that is chewing on everything he can get into his mouth pretty much all the time. He is drooling a lot less now, though, hardly at all.

He has started doing a funny thing last week: dropping toys. It's annoying for me, but I can see he enjoys it and I remember V doing the same thing as a baby. He'll be holding a toy, will look at it, look at the floor, and just drop it. He does this while eating, with spoons, as well.

He does something similar when he's already on the floor; pushes toys away from himself and then crawls over to catch them again. He'll do it over and over again. R, my husband, kept doing that with him to teach him how to crawl so I think he thinks it's a fun game now.

He is also laughing a lot more than ever. V makes him laugh more than anything. If he just hears V's voice from the other room he starts smiling :) He and I have multiple moments throughout the day where we just look into one another's eyes and smile :) SO SWEET! He is also quite ticklish and laughs easily, so V and I make him laugh a lot :)

Victoria Elle is a wonderful sister to him, and daughter to me. She is so helpful and loving. I could not have designed a sweeter child. She also has quite the sense of humour and loves to entertain us with funny faces and dances -- well, she makes a joke out of many everyday occurrences.

--
I love the way Victoria Elle speaks but it's not very practical. I'm referring to her mispronounciations, and inability to pronounce certain sounds, namely, "cr", "fr", "dr", "st". . .and any word beginning with, "s." I am sure there are some others that just aren't springing to mind right now. Oh, yes, she also has trouble making the "v" and "f" sounds.

I wasn't very concerned because I figured she was so small and as she matures her mouth would be better equipped to make those sounds, all kids speak in a funny sort of way, but now that she's going to be starting school in the fall, I've decided to help things along :(

I will really miss her cute way of speaking :(

If we'd moved to BC we'd have an extra year of her at home. But here we have junior kindergarten which means they start at 4. She'll probably be the youngest in her class as the cut-off is children born, at the latest, Dec. 31st, and she was born on Dec. 21st.

I think she'll love it as she LOVES being around other children, and always wants to spend more time with them. She also loves the idea of school already, just from books and tv. But! She gets very frustrated when people can't understand her, which is sometimes. If I don't understand what she's saying I can usually grasp it by the context, or by getting her to physically show me what she's referring to, but I don't know if it'll be that easy for the kids and teachers at her new school, hence the language development I am speeding her through right now.

I've just been practising different sounds with her and correcting her pronunciation here and there. She usually tries a few times and then starts goofing off. Which is ok, I don't want to push it.

--
We are in the midst of saying good bye to everything we know here, downtown. On Thursday we have our final doctor's appointment at our local community health centre :( I'll take our folders to give to our new doctor, who ever that may be. Our nurse there has been my favourite health care provider EVER. I'll be very sad to say good bye.

V only has two dance classes left. It's amazing how they've managed to teach some of the basics of ballet to such young children. I really hope we can find a great ballet school in Burlington, too. I am even considering driving an hour each way once a week so that V may continue going to this school, we like it that much. That is unlikely, though.

--
Movers are booked, elevator is booked, I've started packing. I even have already started buying furniture for the new, and much bigger place, and have it set to ship there.

I could write forever, both kids are asleep, but I'll stop here. For now :)

Burlington

noreply@blogger.com (1001 Petals) — Thu, 02 Jun 2011 22:40:00 +0000

So we've decided NOT to move to Victoria after all. Crazy, right?

Well, we may move one day, we're going to re-evaluate in 2 years. What happened was that I started having doubts a while ago but continued full steam ahead since it was so carefully planned. The main thing is I've become very close to one of my sisters since she's had her twins. I've become very close to the twins, too. I love them very much. It kept saddening me that I wouldn't be able to see them grow up.

My husband became quite vehement that it was better for his career to stay here for a while longer. Thirdly, we did a pros and cons list and had to face the fact that there are way more pros to staying here :(

It's so. . difficult. I really hope we didn't miss our window of opportunity.

I have also been stressed to the max. You may have noticed I hardly ever post anymore. Life is non-stop. My husband has even begun helping out a bit more, because I just can't do it all anymore (well, everything except for earning an income.) I just can't. That was a factor as well; it was killing me to try and find a house in Victoria. The stress. . .I am surprised I didn't end up with some white hairs.

So now we have $1600 in credit with the airline, and finally are able to buy and do a lot of things that were on hold. It will be a lot more expensive to move in a couple years if we decide to do so! By then the twins will be starting school, so maybe it'll be easier to see them and my sister twice a year. Who knows.

We are moving out of the city, though. We really don't want to stay here, even though there are some great things about it. I will deeply miss the multiculturalism and all the crazy happenings but I very much look forward to fresher air, less traffic, a lovely and established residential neighborhood. We've chosen to move to one of the other top cities in Money Sense magazine's best cities to live in Canada list: Burlington. It's about an hour away, hour and a half when there's traffic. It's not far from my sister's new home as well. The home we found is near the lake, which is very important to me. I can't be far away from the water for some reason. It's like losing my own pulse, or something.

So I've been packing and saying good bye and getting ready to enter this new phase of our lives.

Our Mexico Trip

noreply@blogger.com (1001 Petals) — Tue, 24 May 2011 03:14:00 +0000

We had a wonderful holiday. It was so wonderful to all be together all the time without any distractions. I also really appreciated not having to cook or clean (very much) for a week. Playa del Carmen is gorgeous and the weather was perfect as well. I miss it already and look forward to going back when the children are several years older, so we can take advantage of the more mature activities there, such as scuba diving in the reefs, swimming in underground rivers, and seeing the Mayan ruins.

This time round we mostly stuck to the beach and kiddie pool and spent a day at Xcaret, a nature reserve/park. They have animals there, an amazing aquarium (small but excellent), the prettiest beach I've ever seen in my whole life, and a long underground river.

Here are some photos of what we did do:

Some photos

noreply@blogger.com (1001 Petals) — Thu, 21 Apr 2011 17:51:00 +0000

We had family photos taken a few weeks ago.

Oliver is now almost 6 months old and doing great, V is 3.5 yrs. I love my family :) So thankful we're all well and together.

Mexico, here we come!

noreply@blogger.com (1001 Petals) — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 14:40:00 +0000

It has been tough having an infant and a toddler. Only for a few days here and there have I dipped and found myself having dark thoughts, so it is going well almost always. Just challenging, right.

Remember when I really wanted us to take a holiday last year, but we couldn't leave the country cause my husband was stuck here waiting for permanent residency? Well, he has it now, and I took the precaution of getting the children passports just in case we could ever go somewhere (I was also thinking of taking them to Poland to meet my family there). . and anyway, we finally managed to book a last minute holiday to Mexico yesterday. We're leaving in 2 weeks. Hallelujah!

Just knowing that we are going has brought a bit of shine to my days :) The winter has been so long and cold, it even snowed again this weekend!! I don't like gray skies for weeks on end, with just the occasional blue sky appearing to remind us of what we're missing.

I cannot wait to have meals prepared for us everyday, to have our beds made. To have my husband with us all day and night, not working away. To do nothing but enjoy each other and play. I am even looking forward to V's face as she experiences flight for the first time :) She has a book about airplanes and has been wanting to fly for some time now.

It'll especially be good for us to get some quality family time in before we start the stressful journey of relocating across the country. Two weeks after we come back from Mexico we're off again to Victoria, BC to look for a house to rent. That will be a 5 day trip and then we're back to finish packing.

Moving across the country

noreply@blogger.com (1001 Petals) — Wed, 30 Mar 2011 14:34:00 +0000

As mentioned in a previous post, we're moving across the country. To an island off the west coast, actually. That's two time zones away, or approximately 4,300km (2,600 miles.) It's kind of scary and definitely the craziest thing I'll ever do! I don't know how people leave their family behind, and everything they know so well, but I'm about to find out!

We've been planning this for over two years. We wanted to live somewhere really beautiful, with mild weather. .and just, well, the majesty of nature. I've loved Toronto so very much! When I moved here from a nearby suburb at 16 I felt at home for the very first time in my life. The multiculturalism, the great restaurants and culture -- so many happenings, festivals, plays, open mic nights, groups of people. .. there is just SO much here. Great shopping. And it is a nice city, when you don't look too close at the grime :) Which every city has, right.

We just are over it, I suppose. I knew I was ready to have children and settle down (the two go together for me) when I was over the club scene, over the drama of dating, over being a solitary explorer. Then my husband and I started craving more nature. It didn't help that we couldn't drive anywhere and were stuck in the downtown core, but even with a car it's just not enough.

I used to go on holiday and think, now why would people live somewhere other than their ideal location? Why should we have to travel to get to somewhere nice? Practicalities aside, I do think it can be possible for many people, if not most. So we made it possible for us.

Subsequently, this has taken over two years of planning. Lots and lots of research. Well, first we had to find the ideal city/region. We decided we wanted to stay in Canada so I looked up cities from coast to coast. I even considered the Arctic!! (but not extensively :)) We settled on the southern coast of Vancouver Island, British Columbia.

I've been following the employment and real estate (purchase and rental) market there for two years. I am familiar with the schools, parks, recreational programs, grocery stores. .. I have looked at so many streets on google maps that I feel I know the city quite well by now. I've also been watching the cost of flights and contacted several moving companies for quotes, starting over a year ago.

In addition we've not bought a lot of things we would have liked to, at home, just cause we don't want to move a lot. We've stayed in our condo cause moving into a house would just mean settling here even more. We haven't bought a car, which we would have last year, if we were staying.

Starting in January I began tackling a to-do list that had things to do each month to prepare for our move. I have kept up with the items on it, things such as, "book mover", "prune library", "paint my bedroom back to white", and now have only two months left to go! We have scheduled the move to happen for the end of June/start of July of this year.

Longtime readers will know I am crazy-organized. It's my way of feeling secure and safe.

It's amazing that we're so close to our move date, now! I neglected to write about it for a long time here because my husband didn't want his employers to find out beforehand; he has now made arrangements with them to continue working with them, on some contracts, from there (he works from home most of the time as it is.)

Oh, this is part of why it was so important for me to get my driver's license. We definitely need to be drivers over there, transit is very poor in comparison. Truly, there is just so much we've done to prepare for this move, even my husband getting permanent citizenship so he could switch employers if needed (previous to these plans my husband had been getting his work visa renewed for several years with no interest in becoming a citizen.) It's been a long journey to even get this far. Now we're at the final stretch.

We have a trip booked for the end of May, in which we hope to secure a house. Then we'll come back to finish packing up and be off!

How V ended up with a bob

noreply@blogger.com (1001 Petals) — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 15:29:00 +0000

On Wednesday I was rocking Oliver to sleep in my bedroom when I heard the loud sound of scissors snipping. I tried to brush it off as no big deal but when I was finally able to ~~escape~~ leave the bedroom, I looked in the kitchen drawer where we keep a pair of scissors.

There they were next to a lock of Victoria Elle's gorgeous hair.

Her gorgeous reddish brown soft-soft hair.

I went over to her and looked for where the hair was missing from. It was about a 1" wide section on the side. Pretty obvious. She kept saying before she wanted long hair, she skipped her last trim even, but I knew we had to get it evened out. It was already looking pretty jagged on its own due to the way the front had grown in. She had very little hair for her first year and now new layers are growing in within it, thickening it all out.

I thought, well she has so little hair and it can't be that different from trimming bangs. I'll just do it myself!

(Bad idea.)

She wouldn't keep her head still, she kept whipping it around. I was so nerve wracked doing it in the first place that I lost my shit and yelled at her :( I feel bad about that, still. I said she never should have cut her hair, scissors are dangerous, now look you have to have short hair. Bleh, not one of my brighter moments. She cried. I stopped trying to cut her hair only one side in.

I then called my friend Miranda, who is a hairdresser, in a panic. She said we could come over whenever, so I said, "we're leaving right now!"

Miranda said she could have worked that chopped bit in and kept the length, but it was too late of course as I had already started cutting it into a bob :( Well, like I said it was very jagged anyway so it's not a huge regret.

I do miss her long hair, though.

It was very difficult to get clips in V's hair, or to even tie it into ponytails, so her hair was often in her face. This hairstyle is better suited to being just left alone. There is that consolation.

Robeez takes a leap

noreply@blogger.com (1001 Petals) — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 21:22:00 +0000

update: I think I made a mistake and the 6-12s are actually 0-6. That makes more sense, oops.

Left is their 12-18 month soft sole shoe; right is the 6-12 month soft sole shoe.

What the hell, Robeez, what the hell?

postpartum health

noreply@blogger.com (1001 Petals) — Wed, 02 Mar 2011 14:49:00 +0000

Seriously, these postpartum hormonal changes are a bitch. My hair is still falling out. My mood is relatively stable. . .I am glad I am a very self-aware person else this would be really nuts.

I feel like I'm going nuts, sometimes. Just keeping control, like a sailboat on occasionally rocky seas.

I do feel very happy and content inside, all of the time. Just surface things set me off and then I have to right myself. The sea is a perfect metaphor for it.

I was thinking that breastfeeding really has more cons than popular media . .publicizes. Breastfeeding has been made to seem angelic, but hello, it boosts your cholesterol, it screws with your hormones, lowering your estrogen and causing your cervix and who knows what else to be all wonky (I've been doing a bit of research). . .then there are the milk cysts that can look like breast cancer in a scan resulting in medical professionals around you getting into a tizzy (that happened when V was an infant). . .argh.

I am so not nursing for another 3 yrs, there is no way. Oliver gets a year, and I am hoping to be mostly pumping by the time he is 6 months. It is sad, cause breastmilk is so beneficial, but I do think the postive effects are negligible in a very healthy child, after 1 yr. They say IQ continues to go up and be higher than formula fed, for every year a child is breastfed, but what is that? Like 5 points? I read that article a while ago but it was not much difference, and really a few points here or there may be given or taken based on the mood of the child taking the test that day, or whether they had a good breakfast or whatever. As far as I know, of course! I may be a complete idiot and not know, but this is what I think.

I had to see a gynecologist on Monday. It turns out my cervix is all messed up from pushing for over 2 hrs (damn midwives, so angry at them!) Hardly have any words. I could have just gotten the c-section I knew I needed, if they believed me, instead of straining and being in that horrendous pain for hours and hours, if they had known what the hell they were doing.

The good news is despite these little health issues, I am physically ok, my children are beautiful, happy and healthy. My husband is a sweet man almost all of the time. My stepfather gave me an SUV of his to use for the next four months, till we move across the country (that's another post!) It is, technically, my very first car as we've belonged to a car share up to this point. It is so awesome to be able to drive anywhere I want, and best of all, to not have to lug heavy car seats in and out every single time we need to drive. I LOVE IT. I even got to stop and nurse Oliver in it yesterday, when he got hungry. A lot of places are breastfeeding-friendly, but when you're ducking in and out of little stores and it is freezing cold outside, there really is no where to nurse at all -- unless you have a car.

That is another change, I keep writing about all these changes I am going through! I used to think cars were so disgusting, so bad for the environment. But now, now! The sanity born by the convenience, even of a gas guzzling SUV, trumps greater consciousness.

Hurray for sanity in the midst of storms!

Getting Together

noreply@blogger.com (1001 Petals) — Sun, 20 Feb 2011 15:40:00 +0000

Ok, so many (maybe 3 or 4) people have said repeatedly to me, "we should get together" and then don't actually follow through or want to. I will write them and ask and they put me off or ignore me altogether. So when someone else said that last week I thought, right.

I mostly take it, these days, as they do really mean well but life gets in the way and I am not close enough to them to make it a priority. Then I hear of them getting together with other people and sometimes I feel a bit bad, like wow I matter so little to them. They have so many friends and I have hardly any anymore (also I am picky, it's not like everyone snubs me, not like I want to be friends with everybody). . ..and I don't know, it's just a bit difficult sometimes but I try not to think about it, I try to brush it off.

Then there is my junkie sister who says it so earnestly. The few times a year I see her she has a little freak out about it: "I want to repair our relationship" (she got that line from rehab) "I want to get to know my niece" (and now she's added nephew to that line) "I want to come over and help you, oh you need help and no one is around to help you :(" (yeah, rub it in why don't you.)

It sucks when I really truly believe these people. I even still believe my junkie sister, just a tiny bit, because she always sounds so genuine about it. But you know, some people have been saying it FOR OVER A YEAR and they don't ever commit to making any plans. I've gotten very depressed about it, like when they ignore my LJ comments or emails.

- moment of silence -

So an old friend asked if I wanted to get together for lunch on Thursday and I was like, "oh yes, that would be wonderful!" and then Thursday came and she actually called me.

She actually called.

I was confused. "Oh, you actually DO want to get together for lunch?!" lol. I wasn't prepared at all and my sister with the twins was supposed to come over so we re-scheduled for this week.

It was bizarre.

It's even more bizarre that I am more used to being ditched and ignored than actually valued.