Trust Frank to know what kids love! He was looking around for some time to buy something that Andrew would love to have. He thinks the world for his grandson. I was on my way to work when I spotted Frank checking out some stores to buy something suitable. He was minutely observing everything his eyes fell on. It was as if he was loving everything on display but didn’t want to take all of those home. His eyes twinkled as he looked for something that will be better and lovelier than all of the gifts on display. And then his eyes froze. Tucked in a corner lay a brown teddy bear, with white ears and a red snout.

He picked it up cheerfully. He had made his choice. He asked what I thought. I replied, “It’s great! Hope Andrew likes it!” He nodded enthusiastically, “Oh I’m sure he will!” He walked off with a spring in his feet, objective attained. After a couple of days I heard from Eleanor. I asked her about the bear. Eleanor replied jovially, “Andrew loved it!” and then added quickly, “Do you know what he told Frank?” I opened my mouth to reply, when Eleanor boomed back, “He told Frank I like you more because you hug back! You should have seen Frank then!” I didn’t need to. I can feel how happy he must have been. It’s moments like these which make life livable, won’t you agree?

Many feel that teenage romance does not actually grow up. It can be true, it can be an urban myth. Whatever it is, teenage couples in love do make an effort to keep their romance alive and kicking as they grow up. At least, that’s what Rachael and Charlie are planning to do. I inadvertently asked Rachael if they are planning to continue dating after school. Her reply was not something that is expected. Well, at least I expected her to say the unexpected! Rachael categorically stated that she was too young to think on those lines now. “It’s all too soon, you know,” Rachael told me with a wise nod of the head.

Of course, it was, I nodded to myself, though not wisely. I have heard even grown up couples going “I can never forget” at the drop of a rose. And here was this teenager, head over heels in love, and yet, rooted enough to remember that some aspects of a relationship are beyond our control. It’s only through time and a sense of commitment can they be taken to their fruitful end. I was also glad that Rachael was aware that she was too young to decide something in haste. Rachael cut through my thoughts, “But yes, I can never forget him!” I gaped at her in surprise as Rachael smiled back. Rachael’s a woman in love at the end of it all! How could that be different?

This came a surprise to us all, though a really pleasant one. It also made us feel that emotions are sometimes so subtle, so gentle. We all know Rick and Kaitlin to be this couple who are constantly at each others throats. They bicker, they complain. Rick is irritated by Kaitlin’s over bearing attitude. Kaitlin, on the other hand, feels driven up the wall with Rick’s indifference. All these conflicting emotions were put to rest temporarily when Kaitlin had a bad attack of migraine. Rick gave it all up and became this caring, doting boyfriend who was willing to give up on his favorite games and loud music. He made sure things are as easy for her as he could make it.

Rick got some scented candles for her. He stayed up late into the night, being with her through her pain. We were all so surprised that Rick actually did all that. But it is all true. It was not a bragging Rick who told us all this over a beer. It was an emotional Kaitlin who told Megan. Kaitlin told her, “You know Meg, my folks and friends used to ask me why I’m with this guy, fighting my guts out every single day. I knew that if anyone can love me, it’s him. I know he has these stupid habits, but that’s what makes him Rick. That’s what makes him my Rick.” Well yeah, it was kind of mushy to hear this from Kaitlin, but we all go through these emotions when the heart rules the head and the tongue.

I promised you in my last newsletter that I will give you all the Halloween fun, unplugged. Here goes. First things first, as expected on a Halloween night, we were all dressed like freaks. The girls were even more so. Donna and Irina had done a great job of the decorations. I was the last to arrive. The Dracula look with a tangy twist suited me well, or so they said. My cape was a little difficult to manage. I remember that I had toppled three glasses within ten minutes of my entry into the party. I lost count then on.

Donna had decorated green pumpkins and ghosties really well. All stressed out souls were there at the party. My friends were getting together after a really long time. In a way I’d say it was not really crazy fun that we were having. It was more of catching up and getting to know the updates and the latest gossip. Irina was perched on the table top in her costume which bore no likeness to anything I have seen! Irina was the gossip queen and talked through the night, sometimes to cheers, sometimes to bored yawns!

Here’s another anonymous Zen quote that I liked immensely: “Friends are God’s ways of apologizing for our families.” Okay, not for everyone!

The party season is slowly rolling in! First among the big ones is Halloween. This Halloween promises to be a great and simple one. Donna and Irina are the ones planning the Halloween for us. I have got some inside scoops on the party themes that they are working on, thanks to Irina’s yapping tongue! Irina blabbered to us at the bar on our night out that things will be more on candles this time around. “We really fought to get this sorted, ya know,” Irina winked at me and Adrian.

Then Irina went on to say that Donna had planned to have a simple and eerie effect with candles and all. “We’re going totally white!” Irina informed us. She and Donna are scourging their cupboards and store rooms for old books and magazines. Plus, any crap that they can get hold off. Adrian suggested that they put cobwebs to get that feel. Irina half-turned and shot, “Thanks, genius!” Adrian was about to hit back. I changed the topic. With the sparks flying already, Halloween can just turn up some real skeletons! Watch this space next week to know what happened!

The importance of flowers in the aspect of dating has always been confusing for guys. I have friends who bought expensive gifts only to realize later that they would have done much better on the brownie points if they had chosen flowers. The worst idea that you can have if you are looking to go out on a date is to think that an expensive gift guarantees your credibility as a lover. The flower power baffles dudes like Adrian. He asked Cathy what it is about flowers that girls swoon over. The answer was simple, only that it was tailor-made for Adrian!

Cathy told him that there was a lot of subtlety in the language of flowers. “You don’t get it because you hardly know the difference between purple and violet!” she laughed at him. Adrian was also told that the fragrance of flowers and what it does to the female mind is something that is beyond his comprehension! Adrian didn’t like the fact that he was being underestimated. He complained to me. I asked him, “Okay, so you know the difference between purple and violet?” He noted the satire in my voice. Last seen, he was at my computer running a search to update himself on flowers and colors! The effort will do him good. At least Cathy will be more pleased.

After much deliberation, Steve decided to part ways with Natalie. It was a tough decision, but he had to take a call sometime. “I couldn’t have allowed my relationship to be dictated by a stranger,” he told us later. That was exactly that was going on. All the good times that they tried to spend ended in bitter quarrels on who was right and whose fault was that things were this way. Natalie tried her best to work things out. Steve was not willing to compromise on this anymore and he chose to walk out while his dignity was still in place.

The break-up left him shattered for days. He’s still trying to pick up the pieces. I heard him a couple of times muttering to himself as he bent over on a mutilated computer. I think he’s trying to let go of the hurt and the feeling that Natalie was not willing to accommodate things the way he would have wanted her to. He doesn’t say that he blames her, but deep down he is definitely disappointed that things fell apart. This relationship meant a lot to him. But things are not what we want them to be, are they?

While Steve licks his wounds in private, there’s another couple who dominated my newsletters once, but have long since broken up. It’s almost a year now since Kate and Jeffrey have broken up. Kate is in a steady relationship with Alex, while Jeff continues to be single. But he’s worked on himself wonderfully. They met at a mall recently. It was not planned, of course. They were out of touch for some time now. After the meeting, the dynamics have changed a little. They exchanged numbers and are now on talking terms.

Irina, who’s the closest to Kate among us, told us that they were on amicable terms now. Jeff was okay with the idea of Kate moving on and having someone in her life. To take it a step forward, Irina went on to say that she had this feeling that Jeff was rather happy that Kate was having a nice, cozy relationship. I don’t know if Alex knows about this new development, though. It would be nice to know his reactions. Guys don’t like it when their ex flame makes a return, do they? I’m intrigued!

Here’s a little weird quote from George Carlin on the Halloween night: “There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.” Intriguing, to say the least.

Ethan, Donna’s son, has been making some waves in his school recently. He prepared a presentation on the water crisis that we are about to face in the next few decades or so. His work was highly applauded by students and teachers. When Donna told me about it proudly, I wanted to reach over and congratulate him myself. But things got delayed and my intentions didn’t exactly translate into actual action. He’s no more in the office waiting for mom, so I didn’t see much of him as well. Until yesterday.

I noted someone sitting at Donna’s cubicle, picking up the knickknacks Donna decorates her cubicle with. I couldn’t see either the head or the clothes. When Donna saw me, she waved at me. This person turned around. It was Ethan. He beamed and shouted, “Hey, Bob!” His voice boomed in the office corridor. I saw Ryan peep out of somebody’s cubicle. By the way, you can never find Ryan in his cubicle. When he gets work done, no one knows! Ethan came up and gave me a knuckle punch. “I wanted to ask you a favor,” he shot, “I want some skating tips!” Oh cool! We took an early lunch and the next hour was spent discussing inline and quad roller skates. Life’s fun sometimes!

I have mentioned my glory days with the candy corn many a times in the newsletters. Someone else can talk about similar memories when he grows up, too. Andrew loves his sweet tooth and Frank, his doting grandfather, is no stranger to this fact. It is Frank’s initiative this year that Eleanor made some lovely candy corn goodies for Andrew. He’s been bugging her for weeks now. Despite Eleanor’s assurance that things will be prepared when the time comes, Frank finds no solace in her assurance. Unless it gets done and Andrew has it, there’s very less chance of this man taking a deep breath.

Eleanor is surprised that a man of the world like Frank could turn into a person who’s so eager to please. It’s just months and already Frank has made a room for himself in everyone’s heart, as the cliche goes. Admitted that he doesn’t really know the ways of the urban world much, but he’s got this genuine warmth that radiates itself. Andrew is his favorite now and Frank is more on Andrew’s mind than his wonderful grandma. Frank is also a favorite with Kong. It seems all of Eleanor’s fans have switched loyalties!

The Nobel for Obama has certainly inspired Fred, if not the detractors who continue ranting that he was rewarded for hope rather than for actual achievements. Fred sees a lot of hope in Obama’s words: “…as a call to action, a call for all nations to confront the challenges of the 21st century.” He was talking to me over coffee. “You know Bob,” he was saying looking into down the road dotted with busy office commuters, “I feel sorry for these people who are always trying to pull people down. Is it very important who got the medallion? Is it not enough that the peace initiative is being appreciated?”

I could understand what he was getting at. But such selfless thoughts do not come to everyone. All these people walking back home after a hard day’s work are the real people. They know competition; they have been herded to join the race. Nobody asked them if they wanted to be a part of it. They measure success in terms of tangible achievements. I mean, you cannot expect a person to be delighted with joy if his co-worker and competitor get a raise and he doesn’t. But I couldn’t point this out to Fred. He’s caught in some time warp and I’m definitely not going to be the one who’ll jolt him to senses.

This could be the classic story of a bookworm turning into a beautiful swan. This is not exactly my expression. Adrian told me so when he heard about what’s going on between Rachael and Irina. Rachael has suddenly woken up to the fact that she needs to look her best. Rachael knows, and so does everyone, that the best person who you can turn to for fashion tips is Irina. Rachael asked me for her number. Rachael knows Irina well but they are not exactly phone buddies. But Rachael has a way with people. She can endear herself to anyone in very quick time.

Irina was, of course, more than glad to help. Irina outlined many beauty tips for her, including make-up and all of that stuff. Rachael’s mom is a complete dud at that, so Irina’s help was very welcome. Irina also taught her to take care of her make-up stuff and how to avoid infections and skin rashes. But the best advice or thought, whatever you call it, came from Liz. Liz told Rachael that at the end of the day love is a matter of the heart and not of the face. Liz said, “When someone loves you, it’s never because of what he finds beautiful on your face; it’s what he finds in the person in you.”

Here’s a beautiful Zen quote on beauty by an unknown person, but definitely someone who thinks like Liz: “The greatest treasures are those invisible to the eye but found by the heart.”

This has definitely got to be the sweetest thing I have heard in a long time. Yeah, for most of us so called adults, it would be something overtly lovey-dovey. But I think we can overlook that when we take into account the fact that these are teenagers we are talking about. Rachael and her guy Charlie have their studies and all. So they are very busy in shaping things up. They cannot talk for long hours on the phone because their parents are a little particular about that. Their phone calls and time on the internet censured, they have improvised to keep the channels of communication alive.

They have created a common email id, with both having access to it. They write whatever they feel like in that account whenever they have the time. The other person reads it when time permits. This is a unique way to connect and it also has this sense of belonging to bond over something that belongs to neither. It is like this common ground where they meet. I told this to a couple of my friends and they all seemed to melt at the thought. I guess it came off Rachael’s mind. If you are in a similar situation, you could try this, too! It has a charm of its own. Try it!

For whatever he is, Ryan is a great boss to his team members. He may shout and yell at them, but at the center of it, it’s only that he wants his team to be the best in the office. He wants them to outperform themselves. We were all apprehensive about the way he treats his team members when he joined up. His team players looked unhappy and bogged down. But now things have changed for the better. Now they stick together like an unit and that is all because of something that Ryan does consistently: sharing the kudos and taking the blame.

Ryan reports to a superior, too. When Ryan’s team performs well, he shares the spoils with all his team players. He appreciates their contribution. When his team cannot do well for whatever reason, Ryan shoulders the responsibility. Ryan never hauls up any team member in front of his own superior. He is this protective boss and if fierce to anyone who raises accusatory fingers at his team. This attitude has got him the loyalty of his team and they are willing to go that extra mile to make things happen, for the team and for their boss who stands by them.

Steve’s peculiar problem with his significant other has cropped up its head again. Remember Natalie was being hounded by this extremely close friend of hers? Natalie has been trying to avoid him ever since, but this guy is a rather tenacious one. He’s been talking to her daily, smooth talking his way sometimes, and being demanding on other times. To appeal to Natalie’s rather complicated sense of fair play, he’s been talking to her every day about their past when they used to have a great time. He supported her unconditionally when she was going through her messy divorce.

Natalie obviously feels indebted, and turns completely blind on our poor Steve. Steve has tired himself out telling her that he’s milking her gratefulness to draw a wedge between them. Natalie won’t listen to that. This passive way of wrenching her out of her relationship is beyond Natalie’s understanding, I guess. She thinks in black and white and that is what Steve can’t get her to understand. Steve is hopelessly in love, so none of us could tell him that this is really not going anywhere. I have no clue what Natalie is going to do with him in the long run. I’ll keep you guys updated.

The burden I had on me that I spoiled Sarah’s birthday is off me! She did celebrate the birthday after all. Yes, I turned up as well, though late by a long hour. No, don’t get me wrong, I’m very punctual, it’s just that sometimes I oversleep! Sarah’s two best friends, Ann and Sue, were there as well. They had planned to get her a cake. They were there at the venue and had asked the restaurant people to arrange the cake with the candles and all. Just a little after we started eating, the cake appeared. It was beautiful!

Ann and Sue have been friends with Sarah for fourteen years! Boy, that’s a long time. They started at school and now that they are in the same city, they connect regularly. They were really nice to me. They talked freely, though Sarah was a little tentative. She’s reserved anyway. Ann taught me a little coin trick. Sue is very chubby and is clearly the kid among the three of them. Sarah is the one with the brains while Ann is the one with the dare. They make a fabulous team. And their bonding is something that I have hardly seen anywhere. Here’s to you, Sarah, Ann and Sue!

This week’s Zen quote is from an anonymous source. It picked itself: “Everyone has a ‘best friend’ during each stage of life — only a precious few have the same one.” Sarah has two, she’s lucky!

There’s a lovely quality about gratitude: it always comes back to you with a little spilling over. I found truth in this again when I heard what Fred has planned for his friends during the Canadian Thanksgiving Day. Regular readers must be knowing that Fred is now much better after that horrible attack of mesothelioma. Fred has been recuperating well in the last few months. Through his tough days, he has been ably supported by his friends and peers who have seen a lot together. Fred wants to thank them all for their good wishes and prayers.

Oh, that reminds me, he thanks all of you, too. I have been passing all the messages you have sent me. He wanted to thank you all personally, but being still frail in body, it’s not possible for him. I have a word to put in here as well. I have been reading the mails you wrote, suggesting ways in which Fred can combat it better. I was deeply moved to know that so many of you care for my friends here. It’s been great to have you all with me and my friends through all the tough times. Thank you, all!

I had a wonderful dream a few nights back. I saw that Rachael was getting recognized for something. There were lots of people in the auditorium, applauding and congratulating her. I can’t remember what it was all about, but it surely made me feel good in the morning. As it is mornings can get really dull sometimes. There’s so much of routine in my life these days, I’m game to break open and head out for a holiday. But, as the case generally is, there are ties you can’t snap and these hold you back and saddle you with unwanted burden.

I was on my way to work thinking about all these when my cell phone started vibrating in my pocket. I pulled it out and noted that Liz was calling. With a faint sense of fright, I received the call. Liz sounded incredibly happy. “Guess what, Bob?” Liz boomed on the phone, “Rachael has topped the debate competition!” I knew about this competition on global meltdown. I thought it was a tough topic for eighth graders to cope with. I knew Rachael could crack it. But beyond all this, the dream I saw struck me instantly. Do you think there’s a connection here? I think Rachael is destined for big things in life.

Ryan is in the hunt again! He’s been busy lately but now with things slowly starting to tick for him at the workplace, he’s looking at other avenues! Donna signaled to me the other afternoon. I could understand that Donna had a naughty glint in her eyes, which meant she was up to something. I got up from my seat and walked over to her. Donna pointed with her eyebrows and immediately looked the other way. I followed her gaze and there was Ryan with his elbow on the cooler, chatting up the new recruit girl!

It was for everyone to see that the girl was uncomfortable because she was new to the office and Ryan was wasting precious time. On the other hand, she couldn’t tell Ryan anything because she wasn’t sure how he would take it. Ryan kept talking about his achievements, the courses he was studying, the languages he knew. We all knew the routine! What was great was that his words were having an effect, though slow. The girl looked interested, may be even impressed! Later, Ryan was heard boasting, “I can romance the darned cooler!”

It was not long back that I and Adrian stayed up late, watching movies. Then he got his relationship with Cathy and he became a full time lover! Now that Cathy is again out on her innumerable tours, Adrian is back to his first love: movies. Last night he picked up Woody Allen’s ‘Match Point’. The DVD cover described it as a modern fable. And so it was! It has a beautiful story about luck and happiness. What would you rather be, lucky or happy? Adrian thought that he would rather be lucky than happy. His reason was that if he was lucky, happiness would follow.

I replied that it was true in the inverse, too. If you were happy, wouldn’t you feel lucky? In the modern times, being happy and staying happy is no mean thing. And since happiness isn’t something you can achieve, it’s something that can easily equated with luck, which cannot be acquired. It’s actually the chicken or the egg question. And this fine balance makes us try to reach out for both all our lives. It’s like a pendulum in an eternal to and fro motion, sometimes in your grip, sometime slipping through your fingers.

Let’s have a quote from the master craftsman himself. Here’s Woody Allen on failure, inspiration, etc: “If you don’t fail now and again, it’s a sign you’re playing it safe.” Simple, but sensible.

Fred is getting better, thanks to all the good wishes from his family, friends and all you readers. He has been going out on walks in the evening, regaining his strength bit by bit. But these walks have already breathed fresh life in him. I went over to meet him for coffee after work. He wasn’t in then. I hung around for some time in a magazine store before I saw him come. He walked feebly, but he had the smile back on his face. He was delighted to see me and I had this feeling that he had been thinking about something along the way that he wanted to share with me. I was not wrong.

As we settled down, he asked me, “Have you noted people smile, Bob?” I looked up a little puzzled. I was expecting something different. “Well yeah, sometimes when they smile at me!” I replied. He looked amused. “That’s what I was thinking as well,” he told me thoughtfully, “we always note something when we have a personal interest in that.” I couldn’t disagree. He continued, “But what do we lose if we smile at a stranger on the subway or the newspaper boy or the pizza delivery guy? Is it a big thing?” I got his point. I replied, “We don’t stand to lose anything, Fred, except our false sense of ego.” He beamed to ascertain that he liked my answer.

Something really stupid happened to Rick and Kaitlin! They were out shopping at the mall. Now many of you know that Rick is a stud and he likes to try out his charm on women. And Kaitlin is strictly against it and this leads to bitter fights every now and then. At the mall, Rick was checking out this girl who took the stairs up to the next floor. Kaitlin had been noting that Rick’s eyes were following this girl. Kaitlin had also noted that the girl went up the stairs. Kaitlin asked Rick to wait for her while she got into a shop. This was Rick’s chance. He headed straight up in pursuit. He didn’t think that it was a trap Kaitlin laid out for him.

As soon as he was halfway up the stairs, Kaitlin came darting out of the shop she had sneaked in. Kaitlin called out to him and glared at him. Rick came down meekly. Kaitlin yelled at him for having taken the stairs to pursue the girl. Rick denied it vehemently. Kaitlin asked what he was doing up the stairs. Before Rick could respond, Kaitlin started his tirade about catching him red-handed. Rick asked her, “The girl was on the next floor, you say? But what does it have to do with me? How can you prove the stairs I took reached the next floor? I was only half-way!” Hearing such a stupid question, Kaitlin left in a huff. Last heard, Rick was sleeping on the couch!

Remember the Sunday gathering I told you about? If you missed that, you can read it here. Well, after assuring each other that this was not a flash in the pan and that we would keep in touch, things didn’t work out that way. I guess it never does. Everyone is busy in their lives and the pull of the daily chores isn’t something that you can resist for long. After that long session of exchanging phone numbers, we hardly get the time or make the effort to look into our contact list and make that call or text. We are all so content with our speed dialing numbers, we hardly look beyond.

Yes, you may argue that there are other modes, too. Social media sites are there, emails etc. Let’s be honest here, how many times have you send across a mail to that friend who has nothing to do with your daily life. We don’t. It cannot be done, however honest our intentions may be. So there it goes. We have not connected again since that Sunday. I was wondering what happened to everyone but I’m as guilty as them. I have been crazy busy and you know how the times are. Extra work. Extra pressure. Extra stress. We are all caged in our little boxes that move around with us and time has taken away the key.

Now for the big story of the week! It’s Sarah’s birthday on the first of October! I did a blunder on that. Sarah had invited me to her birthday treat. She also told me that two of her friends will be there. I was a little hesitant to go to her birthday party and meet her friends as well. I told her that I’ll meet her some other time. In the meantime, I had already bought something for her. I had no clue what was going on in her mind. Sarah was really upset that I refused. The next thing I heard is that Sarah has canceled her birthday celebrations and cooked up some excuse to her friends. I felt really bad that all of this happened because of me.

I’m at my wit’s end now. I really want her to have a special birthday. I had some plans made. The funny part is, after I told her that I can’t make it, I had changed my mind. I was also wondering if I can contact those friends of hers so that we can do something together. It all fell flat. I couldn’t convince her yet to change her mind and revert her plans. But celebration or not, I really wish her a wonderful birthday. It’s a great period for her and I hope things are always on the upswing for her. It would be nice if you all wished her in your hearts, too. You rock, Sarah!

The Zen quote for this week is for those numerous people like Sarah who have lousy birthdays for one reason or the other. A small pointer: I belong to this group, too! This one is a simple quote from Robert Orben: “The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.” We have hope there, don’t we?

Something incredible funny happened to Adrian. It left him red-faced with embarrassment and us in laughter! Adrian was out on one of his dates with Cathy. His pocket was a little on the dry side, so he carefully and tactfully managed to get Cathy to a park and spend time there. Cathy was happy for the getaway as well, because she’s doing a stressful job and you know how it gets to you sometimes. The point is, they were having a nice time, whispering sweet nothings to each other. They were about to top it up with a kiss when something rather strange happened and changed the course of their date.

Suddenly the shrub right behind Adrian began to shake and he found some leaves reaching out to his face. He jumped up in horror and shock. Cathy was taken aback, too. When the initial shock evaporated, Adrian shot up from his seat and looked behind the shrub. A beaming guy came out. Adrian was about to hit out when something about the man felt familiar. “Hey Addy!” he yelled and held out his fist for a knuckle punch. Then Adrian remembered. He was his junior school mate who was scared of stairs. Adrian returned the punch gladly and introduced Cathy to him. His recounting of the whole incident left me in no doubt that he was glad of this interruption to his date.

After the wonderful message on Grandparents Day, Andrew was repeatedly called on by Eleanor and Frank. But her son Mike was busy with work and so was his wife Lisa. It took a while for them to plan a visit to Eleanor’s place. But when they came around, it was a joyous occasion for them all. I keep reading these reports on the internet and lifestyle magazines saying family bonding is a thing of the past. You should see this family to find out for yourself if these reports are actually true. I agree that things are on the decline and relationships are on the wane in more cases than not, but it’s us who’s got to solve it for us, is it not? We need to figure out time and put in that effort to connect with our family and friends.

It’s very easy to wave the ‘busy’ card and get on with your life. Yes, we all got work and stuff but it does help to carve out time for your dear ones. Eleanor’s family revolves around the little angel Andrew. He’s the apple of their eye and the one that keeps them glued to each other. This trip, which was relaxing and a nice getaway for Mike and Lisa, was possible entirely due to the insistence of Andrew. The happiest of the lot is, of course, Frank. He’s been pampering his grandson to his heart’s delight. I keep saying Frank is a lucky man! He’s got everything going for him now: a lovable family, a perfect partner and a doting grandson. Here’s to you, Frank!

It came as a surprise to me when Rachael called me up to find out what gift would be ideal for Berka. Berka had helped her and Charlie a lot when they were working on a project. Berka had shown them her documentaries and research materials. Rachael is so touched by her warmth that she and Charlie has decided to give her something as a token of their appreciation. After brainstorming for some time, Rachael called me. I thought for some time and remembered that Berka needed a CD case. Her case got lost in transit. I passed this information to her and it was lapped up readily.

Then it stuck me that Rachael was a person who was always thankful, even when things were not going her way. Rachael has a deep rooted faith in the good intent of human beings. She has always managed to find hope to continue. I think Rachael inherited this from her mom, my sister Liz. In our childhood, I noted the same trait in her. I was the one cribbing and complaining. Liz would always keep a calm head and solve things with characteristic patient. I’m glad Rachael inherited that and not her dad’s hyper nature! He’s more like me, to be honest. Last heard, Berka was so moved by Rachael’s gesture, she was fighting tears.

It was meant to be a special evening anyway. But what we didn’t foresee was that it could exceed our expectations. I was busy at work one evening when an unexpected message landed on my cell phone from an old school mate. He knew where I worked, was nearby and wanted to meet up. I agreed and found myself seated to this guy in a café. He had studied medicine and was to start internship soon. He told me that some of our school pals were in town due to various reasons and it would be great if we could all meet up. It sounded like a fantastic idea. It was.

We met this Sunday evening at a restaurant. I was late, as usual. When I reached, they were all seated and waiting for me. It was fantastic there on. Old memories, scandals, hush-ups, all tumbled out in quick succession. A few surprises but mostly reminiscing those fantastic days that we have left behind. Memories blended with the aroma of excellent food and by the time we were ready to leave, the desire to get back home was just not there. Despite promises to meet up regularly, you know how things are. We have no idea when we’ll meet again, but this one fall evening will remain etched in our memories.

Let’s sign off this week with an excellent Oprah Winfrey quote on friendship: “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”

The library is the new dating spot for my niece Rachael and her boyfriend Charlie. They are working on a project together. Their theme is Rosh Hashanah and its significance in the modern day. Charlie is supposed to be very interested in cultures and customs. While Rachael does the paper work, Charlie unearths all these interesting facts about this Jewish custom. “We make a wonderful team, Bob,” Rachael boasted to me proudly. I saw some of the work they did. I agree with her.

Someone who believes ‘leave no stone unturned‘, Rachael wanted to speak to Berka as well. I had casually mentioned that I have this friend who’s into all this. Presently Berka is researching on Eid ul-Fitr. I asked Berka, who readily agreed to help. Last heard, they were talking late nights. Berka told me later that Rachael already had an exhaustive amount of materials. “Rachael’s extremely diligent” is what Berka had to say about Rachael. Rachael also said something similar about Berka! Here’s a mutual admiration society, folks! Watch this space.

Steve is already up the wall now. That friend of Natalie isn’t giving up so easily, making life difficult for Steve. The other day Megan dropped by. Megan was worried about it, too. I asked her to stay over for the evening. Adrian got us some grub and we settled down to talk. We discussed Steve’s problem. “Why does Natalie take his calls?” Megan sounded exasperated. Adrian came up with the answer, “Apparently this guy is a huge tantrum thrower! He knows he has an importance in her life and milks it.” Megan was of the firm opinion that it’s Natalie to blame because Natalie let this person walk away with their happiness.

I wanted to be neutral but found myself supporting Adrian. I’m a firm believer in intent, even if the action is lacking. “If Natalie intends to stick to Steve, I’m sure she’ll find a way out,” I offered. They nodded their heads in assent, but I don’t think they bought it. Steve called up then. I asked him to come over too. He readily agreed. When he came in, we discussed further on the subject, without any conclusion, of course. But Steve thanked us for everything! We hugged him and assured him that friends would be there for him, if not anyone else. It was emotional for all of us there.

My late night chats with Sarah is taking a definitive stance each day and then getting back to the basics! These meanderings are leaving me confused. I’ll tell you how our chats proceed each time. It begins off with casual greetings. Then it moves on to how our day was spent. Sarah is studying science, physics actually. Sarah loves art, but her mom and dad were not willing to let her pursue it. So Sarah decided to make them happy. I think that needed a lot of courage. The important thing is Sarah makes things her own and does her best.

I’m digressing. After talking around for sometime, we generally ask each other what kind of partners we may like. Sarah states her preferences, which I think, are a little tame for a woman of her ability and intelligence. I state mine, which Sarah thinks, are too over-the-top! There is always this undercurrent but we never talk about us, if there is any ‘us’ at all. We never mention the fact that we fit each others’ preferences. It’s like a mind game we play. It’s fun and intellectually stimulating, but sometimes I wish we had it out in the open.

Ryan has been inspiring his teammates in a rather strange way! Ryan has a team of three people, who work at different time slots. One of them works nights as well. So this team of three has been there long before Ryan joined us. They have seen and experienced a lot. But they were in for a surprise when Ryan took over. Ryan made changes and they had a tough time coping. Ryan lost patience many a times, because he was not used to waiting for changes to happen. He wanted them immediately.

But these guys stuck on. They learned things from Ryan, bore with his temper at times. They knew that the only way forward was to keep up with their leader. They are paying rich dividends for their efforts now. They have emerged more capable and experienced to adapt to ever-mutating technology. Ryan will, of course, take no accolades for their improvement. He’s happy he could make things turn around the way he wanted. Though not the cane-flaunting leader, Ryan did make a difference because he had belief in his team.

The Zen quote this week comes from Eleanor Roosevelt: “To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart.” Guess Ryan got to this before me, didn’t he?

Eleanor woke up to a wonderful surprise one morning. It started off bad. Her alarm clock failed to go off. When Eleanor finally woke up, she realized that it was an hour late. Her faithful clock had given up on her. Frank leaves early, so he doesn’t wake her up. With an hour behind schedule, Eleanor was distraught and angry that new battery cells were not put in place. Being the ever particular person that Eleanor was, it was very disappointing to say the least. Eleanor dashed down her stoop with a forehead full of worries. What Eleanor found in her mailbox took her over the moon.

Her grandson Andrew has mailed her a card. Technically not to her. It was to her and Frank. “To Granny and Grandpa” was inscribed in small, ill formed letters. But those small letters made a big difference to both Frank and Eleanor. They were so touched by this gesture. Frank wanted to visit the little angel immediately to thank him for making it so special for them. Eleanor looked visibly touched, too. These small incidents make life so livable. And worth dying for.

Rachael has cracked a bet! The bet was a little silly to begin with, but you know how girls her age can be. I’ll explain. Rachael has a close group of friends. They had this running bet between themselves that whoever gets a teddy bear from her boyfriend wins it. The bet was that it was entirely on trust and no one could give it out to their significant other about this bet. Many of them got chocolates and roses and other stuff but this teddy bear was miraculously staying away from all of them. Rachael herself got some really nice gifts from Charlie over the days and then it finally happened.

It happened before everyone. Charlie sneaked out a gift wrapped pack from his bag and handed it to Rachael. That did not attract much attention, because Charlie does it often. “Everyone turned around when I shrieked!”, Rachael told me later. As the teddy emerged its head from the pack, her gang of friends was on her, congratulating and patting her. Charlie could make no sense of this collective happiness of about five girls, drooling over the cute teddy that came out. “When he was told, he looked very proud of himself!” was all Rachael said. Why not? It’s not always that we do wrong things unknowingly!

After being offline for a couple of weeks, Sarah resurfaced. Sarah had been out on an emergency and couldn’t contact me because she didn’t have my number, too. I immediately gave her my number and told her to keep it. I also added that there was no need to reciprocate it. Sarah told me that she had saved the number and would contact me, if necessary. That same evening I was hanging out with my office friends when a text message came in: “Will you be online tonight? Sarah.”

I replied in the affirmative. It took me a good few minutes to realize that I had her number now! I didn’t call up or something. I had no fun hanging out anymore. I took off with an apology, came back home and got online. Sarah was waiting for me. We chatted late into the night. Sarah asked me how come I didn’t call up despite having her number. I told her that I will call her on some special day. This surprised her. “That’s strange! I thought guys couldn’t resist calling a girl!” Sarah’s got wit, I tell you! This will be fun.

Steve has a problem. No, it’s not the twins or Natalie. It’s a friend of Natalie. This guy is turning out to be a spoiler in Steve’s love life. I don’t know his name, so I can’t give it out. He’s like very good friends with Natalie and supposedly bailed her out of trouble on a number of times. Natalie thinks the world about his sense of judgment. And so Natalie believes him to a large extent. This guy is on a mission to malign Steve’s reputation. He’s making mountains out of Steve’s mistakes. What could only be a lover’s tiff is taking gigantic proportions.

Steve has some strange habits, admitted. Which geek doesn’t? But his heart is in the right place and I’m sure Natalie got that and so they are together. Now Natalie’s friend is making absurd analysis of Steve’s actions, presenting a warped picture of what Steve actually is. Steve tried to talk it out with Natalie. Natalie listens to Steve too, but when this guy counters what Steve told her, Natalie’s back to believing him. It’s all a mess and Steve is losing cool. Steve blames Natalie for allowing an outsider to have any say about their relationship. Let’s hope Natalie sees sense soon.

This week’s Zen quote is open to interpretation. But, this somehow explains Natalie’s friend’s mind. Here’s what Gore Vidal says: “Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies.” That’s intriguing.

Labor Day has always been a day of celebration for Fred. And why not. He has been observing this day since he can remember. “I remember my dad taking me to a parade!” he told me with a fond twinkle in his eyes, “I saw all these people out there. I think since then I have a special liking for this day. This is not just a rest day for me.” This year Fred obtained a permission from the doctor to go out to his friend’s place downtown on Labor Day weekend. They are having a barbeque out there.

Fred is very excited about meeting friends again outside his pad. “I was really tired of seeing them with a concerned face all the time!” he joked. People like Fred have a life of their own, separate from ours and yet always open to accommodating us into the scheme of things. He likes to do things taking everyone on his side but when the results are achieved, he steps back and moves on to other tasks. They never rest, they never give up. People like Fred make all the difference, because they dare to be selfless in a selfish world.

Reconnecting with Berka has been a pleasurable experience. A lot of events have happened in her life over these days. She had been dating a guy for a couple of months. But he was too much of a control freak. He used to keep a strict tab on her cell phone messages and calls. While talking about all this, Berka shifted gears and started talking about her school and college life. She was especially inspired to take up filmmaking by a professor. “He made me believe in my abilities when I lost it completely,” she told me with a fond remembrance.

As a mark of her thankfulness, she writes home to wish Teacher’s Day every year. “Back in India, it’s on the 5th of September,” she informed me. But I was half listening. I was thinking of my own teachers. They were nearer to me geographically than Berka’s teacher is. But how often have I contacted them or told them how much difference they made to me? I can’t even recall the last time I connected to one of my teachers with a thank you note. Berka taught me a lesson or two alright. I would ask you all guys to do the same, too. Connect with your teachers. They made you who you are.

Kong has a way with people! He can make friends in a jiffy, much like Adrian. I have observed there is a strange connection between Kong and Adrian. Kong got him Cathy, and they are steady. When Adrian is down, he relies on Kong to bail him out. I have friends who had to give up on pets because their roommates were allergic to them. If Adrian was not understanding, Kong may not have been a part of our lives. The point is that Kong has a new friend. He’s Frank! Yes, thanks to Eleanor’s invites and wonderful goodies, Kong has decided to get pally with Frank.

In the initial days, Kong would be indifferent to Frank. Kong would be busy with his own business, going around Eleanor’s place as if to show Frank that he was more than a regular visitor. Frank would be amused. Then Kong realized that Frank was not a bad person at all. Frank played the trick Kong loves to fall for. He took Kong out for a walk and also got him some goodies that he can play around with. Kong liked what he received and they are friends now. Frank takes him out for evening walks regularly. “He’s a good boy!” is all Frank had to say when I wanted to thank him for everything.

Kate’s a proud Virgo! Though her friends feel that she is too much of a softie to be a Virgo, she’s most definitely one. I can say that with conviction because Megan, who has a knack for zodiacs, told me that Kate’s attention to detail is a defining characteristic of a Virgo. Anyway, whatever her sign may be, she is our friend and we plan to celebrate her birthday with a lot of fanfare. Kate was in Iowa last year during this time, so we couldn’t wish her on her birthday. Henry, her boyfriend, will be coming down on her birthday. We have arranged for a surprise party for her. Irina, Kate’s best friend, got in touch with Henry to take him in the loop.

As you guys know, this is also her first birthday after her relationship with Henry. But something is biting me at the back of my mind: Jeffrey walking away across the bend. What will he do on Kate’s birthday? Will he turn up to wish her? He can’t do that on the phone because Kate changed her phone number to get rid of loving memories. So the only way would be to come over. Should we invite him? I mean, his behavior and restrain has been exemplary so we’re not really scared of a showdown. But will Henry be okay with that? These are some answers that I want to figure out before I pop the question to birthday party organizers, Kate and Irina. Stay tuned, I’ll keep you posted on this.

Here’s a Zen quote by Washington Irving for lovers like Jeffrey: “Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.” Isn’t that profound?