123 Love Guru

21 Chat-Up Lines Guaranteed To Get You LAID!

noreply@blogger.com (Yogesh Goel) — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 15:09:00 +0000

1. Excuse me, I am about to go home to masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.

2. Go up to a girl, ask her: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" She says no. Then wink.

3. Is you father a lumberjack [No, why?"> Because when ever I look at you, I get wood in my pants.

4. I've just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot

5. The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

6. You know, you're very easy on the eyes...and very hard on my erection.

7. You are so beautiful that I would crawl ten miles on my hands and knees through broken glass just to jerk off in your shadow.

8. I'm an organ donor, and I have an organ you might need

9. Motion with your finger for a girl to come over. When she gets there say, "I knew if I fingered you long enough you would cum."

10. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?

11. "I'm on fire, can I run through your sprinkler?"

12. There are 206 bones in the human body, want one more?

13. Is that a mirror in your pants because I can see myself in them.

14. If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

15. Hey baby, can I tickle your belly button from the inside?

16. I've got the hot dog and you got the buns.

17. Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears?(Pull your pockets inside out....) Would u like to?

18. Would you like to see my circumcision scar?

19. Why don't we go back to my place and do the things I'm going to tell people we did anyway?

20. What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.

21. The only thing I want between our relationship is latex!

Query on circumcision and lubricants

noreply@blogger.com (Kuldip Kumar Garhwal) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 19:17:00 +0000

Question. I am a 30-year-old man married to a 27-year-old woman three months ago. We had unprotected sex recently. During the act my foreskin rolled back a little and the light pinkish head of the penis appeared. Because of this we have been unable to enjoy intercourse. What do you recommend? Should I go for a circumcision? What are the precautions to take after I do it? Also, we would be having sex after almost a month. Can you suggest any lubricants? Is saliva okay?

Answer. What you see after the foreskin slips back is the head of the penis. It can be quite sensitive and be uncomfortable for a while. With time, pleasure will take over. Use Climax spray for a few days. Saliva is a good lubricant.

Does Copper T decrease sexual desire?

noreply@blogger.com (Kuldip Kumar Garhwal) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 19:17:00 +0000

Question. I am 30 years old. I got married five years back. Earlier, a sexual act lasting for 30 minutes was enough to satisfy me. However, these days, even 60 to 90 minutes doesn’t suffice. We indulge in adequate foreplay. I have been using Copper T for last three years. Is it responsible for my problem?

Answer. Copper T is not known to decrease desire. There must be another reason. Try to identify and correct it. Take an extended holiday. Relive your romance. Request your husband to increase the foreplay duration till you reach an orgasm. He should enter after that. If he finishes early, you may continue stimulation of genitals till you reach a second orgasm, or even a third.

HIV-infected patient handling tap in toilet

noreply@blogger.com (Kuldip Kumar Garhwal) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 19:16:00 +0000

Question. If an HIV-infected patient, with residual sperm on his fingers, handles a tap in a public toilet; followed by a normal person using the same tap and washing his penis, are there chances of the latter contracting an infection?

Answer. No chance. Relax.

Is it OK to undergo sex education before marriage?

noreply@blogger.com (Kuldip Kumar Garhwal) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 19:15:00 +0000

Question. I am a bachelor and will be getting married in a few days. Is it okay for adult men and women to undergo sex education before marriage? Or is it solely a trend adopted from the western civilization? Does it go against Indian customs, and eventually lead to social degradation?

Answer. Have you never heard of the famous frescos at Khajurao and the Kamasutra which has always helped our ancestors with premarital counselling? No social degradation will take place. On the contrary, your and your partner’s ignorance will be dispelled. There is much to be learnt about the first night, about keeping the fire of desire and companionship alive throughout your life and clearing the misconceptions about sex that you may have.

GF missing period due to FRENCH KISS?

noreply@blogger.com (Kuldip Kumar Garhwal) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 19:12:00 +0000

Q. I am a 23-year-old man and my girlfriend is a year elder to me. Last fortnight we indulged in a French kiss which lasted for 10 to 15 minutes. Her period, which was due three days back, hasn’t started. She is getting very scared because she thinks it is because of the kiss. She is not ready to kiss me any more. I am really worried. Can it be true? Please help.

A. From what I know of French kissing – and I hope you’re referring to the same – there is no chance of pregnancy. Her period may have been delayed because of excitement.

Guy having problem with NIPPLES

noreply@blogger.com (Kuldip Kumar Garhwal) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 19:06:00 +0000

Q. I am a 18-year-old boy. I have a problem with my nipples since the last three years. They are unusually big. They only become normal when I press them back to shape or when I feel cold. Otherwise they remain in a disc-like shape. What do I do about this? Please don’t tell me to see a doctor because I’ve already done it, he said there was no treatment for this. Please recommend some exercises or medicines.

A. Live with what you have. Nobody is bothered about your nipples except yourself. Get over your inferiority complex.

Wife is shy when on bed?

noreply@blogger.com (Kuldip Kumar Garhwal) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 19:05:00 +0000

Q. I am 23-year-old married man. Whenever I have sex with my wife, I don’t get a proper response from her. She says she is shy. I have spoken with her about this. She promises that it won’t happen again, but the situation remains the same. I am not satisfied with my sex life at all. I am very passionate about sex. What should I do?

A. One of the great pleasures is to arouse your partner to active participation. It can only be possible when you are skilled at foreplay. Be gentle, stimulate her by touch – even her genital areas – and continue till she has an orgasm before having intercourse. Convince her that marriage has given both of you the chance to have sex the way you want to have it. Have patience and remember to never lower her self-esteem.

Chumming

noreply@blogger.com (Yogesh Goel) — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 17:16:00 +0000

Que. My wife tends to be extra horny when she gets her periods. Is it cool to have sex at that time?

Ans. Ask yourself how you feel when she wants it. If it does not bother you, stick to man-on-top mode. Her bleeding may be lighter if she's lying down. But if she wants to vary positions, keep her flow at bay by inserting a menstrual cup (an alternative to tampons and pads that you can buy at a drugstore) pre-sex. Just remember, while there are benefits to doing the deed during that time of the month -- some women experience a heightened libido and reduced cramping -- it is possible to get her pregnant. Plus, there is an increased risk for pelvic infection and HIV due to the presence of necrotic tissue -- the uterine lining that is being sloughed off. So use a condom.

What is Queef

noreply@blogger.com (Yogesh Goel) — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 17:15:00 +0000

Que. Sometimes when I'm having sex, my vagina makes a noise like I'm passing gas. It's so embarassing. What causes it and how can I prevent it?

Ans. This noisy emission, commonly referred to as a queef, is air escaping your vagina. When you're aroused, your vagina expands to allow room for your partner's penis. His thrusting during intercourse pushes air into you, which fills the space in the inner part of your vagina that has expanded. A shift in body position or a deep thrust can force that air out, resulting in the fart-like sound. It's also possible to queef post orgasm, when air is expelled as the vagina returns to its pre-aroused state.

Wife ashamed to show vagina

noreply@blogger.com (Yogesh Goel) — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 17:15:00 +0000

Que. My wife is ashamed to show me her vagina. She says I will be horified. Is the vagina so repulsive to look at?

Ans. Vaginas are of all different shapes and sizes. There is no real set apearance as everyone's bodies are different. A woman's sex organs are protected by two thick folds of skin or "lips" called labia. Inside there is another set of lips known as the inner labia. These are thinner than the outer labia and are usually of slightly different lenghts. Also, it is quite normal for a woman to find that the inner labia sticks out below the outer labia.

Oversexed wife

noreply@blogger.com (Yogesh Goel) — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 17:15:00 +0000

Que. Everytime I have sex with my wife, she has up to six or seven orgasms, sometimes even within half an hour. She has never slept with anyone else, so she has no past experience to go on, but her friends say they have fewer orgasms than she does. Not that I'm complaining, but is this normal? Is she oversexed?

Ans. There is nothing to worry about. All it means is that she is comfortable with herself and with you. She feels free to open up and enjoy herself, without feeling inhibited. This is most likely due to your good communication. Most Indian women complain of not having an orgasm ever. So count yourself lucky. Be happy knowing that you must be doing something right. Keep it up!

Is it normal to have orgasm without erection?

noreply@blogger.com (Yogesh Goel) — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 17:14:00 +0000

Que. Is it normal for a man to have an orgasm without an erection? I can often achieve orgasm without an erection. I have no medical conditions and have also been able to do this all my life. Is this common?

Ans. You should not worry about this. It is perfectly normal, and many men who cannot get erections are still able to ejaculate. If it makes you feel better, see a doctor to make sure everything is in order.

Sex positions for having baby girl

noreply@blogger.com (Yogesh Goel) — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 17:14:00 +0000

Que. My husband and I are trying to have a baby. We already have three boys and would like to have a girl. Are there any positions or techniques we can use to increase our odds of having a little girl? Please let me know if you know of anything we can do.

Ans. While many people believe there are tricks to determine the sex of a baby, none of these techniques have been scientifically proven. The sex of a baby is determined entirely by the man's sperm. Some sperm carries a Y chromosome, while some an X (the woman's egg is always an X). If the sperm that unites with the egg is a Y, the child will be male; if it is an X, the child will be female. It is purely chance that will determine which will reach the egg. Just keep in mind that any child can be a great gift regardless of the gender.

What is priapism?

noreply@blogger.com (Yogesh Goel) — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 17:14:00 +0000

Que. What is priapism?

Ans. Priapism is a prolonged and painful erection of the penis, which can last for several hours up to a few days. It is caused when blood flows to the penis, but is then unable to drain back. Treatment often involves draining the penis with a needle placed on the side. Some medication acts on the blood vessels and can also be injected to help shrink the blood vessels and decrease blood flow into the penis. This condition should be treated immediately, as scars can set in if left untreated and even cause impotence.

Can licking bumhole be harmful

noreply@blogger.com (Yogesh Goel) — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 17:13:00 +0000

Que. Can licking your girlfriend's bumhole be harmful?

Ans. It is possible for some infection to be passed from one person to another through oral sex, which includes licking around the anus and genital area. In addition to this, the anus is an area of the body that harbours bacteria, which can lead to transferring bowel bacteria such as Ecoli. To reduce the risk of infection, you can use a dental dam (a sheet of latex available from dental supply companies and some pharmacies) or a condom (cut open from end to tip and placed over the anus) to act as a barrier during contact between the mouth and the anus.

Dark hair around wifes nipples

noreply@blogger.com (Yogesh Goel) — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 17:13:00 +0000

Que. My wife has dark hair around her nipples. Please help, I hate them.

Ans. Most women have a few hairs growing around their nipples. Usually these can be tamed by regularly plucking them out. It is best not to shave them, as this leaves a blunt hair shaft that will grow through, feeling more stubbly and appearing more noticeable.

Sex Advice: Squirt Out

noreply@blogger.com (Yogesh Goel) — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 17:12:00 +0000

Que. I am worried I do not squirt out as they do in porn movies. Is this abnormal?

Ans. It is worth bearing in mind that sexual behaviour tends to be exaggerated in porn movies, which could be why your ejaculations seem so different. When a man orgasms, semen shoots out of the penis in a series of quick squirts. The quantity of ejaculate produced can vary from person to person, as can the force of ejaculation. The quantity and force can also vary each time a man ejaculates.

Compilation of Euphemisms for "Spanking The Monkey"

noreply@blogger.com (Yogesh Goel) — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 16:00:00 +0000

Female Masturbation

A Night in With the Girls
Airing the Orchid
Auditioning the Finger Puppets
Beat the Beaver
Beating Around the Bush
Brushing The Beaver
Buff the Weasle
Carpet Bumping
Cat Got Your Tongue
Checking for Squirrels
Clam Bake for One
Cleaning your Fingers
Clitters
Coming Into Your Own
Creamin'
Coming Into Your Own
Dialing the Rotary Phone
Digging a Trench
Doing your Nails
Dousing the Digits
Drilling For Oil
Engaging in Safe Sex
Erasing the Problem
Fanning the Fur
Feeding the Bearded Clam
Feeding your Slot
Fiddling the Bean
Fingerbating
Fingerpainting
Finger Blasting
Flickin' the Bean
Flit your Clit
Fucking Without Complications
Gagging the Clam
Gagging the Lips of Love
Genital Stimulation via Phalangetic Motion
Get a Date with Slick Mittens
Get a Lube Job
Get To Know Yourself
Get a Stinky Pinky
Going Mining
Groping the Grotto
Greasing your Hips
Grissle Rub
Gusset Typing
Having Sex With Someone you Love
Hee-Haw with wrinkled Mee-Maw
Hitchhiking South
Hitchhiking to Heaven
Hitchhiking Under the Big Top
Jillin' Off
Jocelyn Eldering
Let the Fingers do the Walkin'
Levy Break Limbo
Making Soup
Manual Override
Muffin Buffin'
Nulling the Void
Paddling the Pink Canoe
Pampering the Pussy
Parting the Red Sea
Pearl Fishing
Pet the Petunia
Pet the Pussy Cat
Polishing the Nugget
Polishing the Peanut
Polishing the Pearl
Play Poker
Play the Clitar
Play Couch Hockey for One
Play the Silent Trumbone
Playing With Her Pineapple
Playing with Mrs. Palmer's Five Daughters
Playing With the Man in the Boat
Pushing the Button
Pussy Soccer
Riding the Unicycle
Rolling the Dough
Rubbin' the Nubbin
Rubbing the Donut
Rubbing the Red Pussycat
Scoring the Hoop
Soaking the Whisker Biscuit
Spelunking
Spearing the Bearded Clam
Squeeze the Peach
Strumming
Strumming the Banjo
Surfing the Channel
Teasing the Kitty
Teasing the Tuna Taco
Testing the Plumbing
The Virgin's Release
Tickling the Taco
Tiptoe Through the TwoLips
Toggling the Bit
Tossing Pink Salad
Three Point Shot
Trolling the Bermuda Triangle
Two Finger Taco Tango
Washing your Fingers

Top 10 Viagra Slogans

noreply@blogger.com (Yogesh Goel) — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 15:57:00 +0000

10. Viagra, It's "Whaazzzzz Up!"
9. Viagra, The quicker pecker upper
8. Viagra, Like a rock!
7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there tonight.
6. Viagra, Be all that you can be.
5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.
4. Viagra, Strong enough for a woman, but made for a man.
3. Viagra, Tastes great! More filling!
2. Viagra, We bring good things to life!
1. This is your penis. This is your penis on drugs. Any questions?

Pussy vs. Beer

noreply@blogger.com (Yogesh Goel) — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 15:52:00 +0000

A beer is always wet. A pussy needs encouragement.
-- Advantage: Beer

A beer tastes horrible served hot. A pussy tastes better served hot.
-- Advantage: Pussy

Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied. Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.
-- Advantage: Beer

Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones. Pussy does not.
-- Advantage: Draw

If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted.
-- Advantage: Pussy

24 beers come in a box. A pussy is a box you can come in.
-- Advantage: Pussy

Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer.
-- Advantage: Pussy

If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible.
-- Advantage: Beer

If you come home smelling like beer, your wife may get mad. If you come home smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad.
-- Advantage: Beer

6 beers in a night and you better not drive. 6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need.
-- Advantage: Pussy

Buy too much beer and you will get fat. Buy too much pussy and you will get poor.
-- Advantage: Draw

It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game. You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game.
-- Advantage: Pussy

If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a breathalyzer. If a cop smells pussy on your breath, you are going to get a high five.
-- Advantage: Pussy

With beer, bigger is better.
-- Advantage: Beer

Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable.
-- Advantage: Beer

If you think all day about the next pussy you will have, you are normal. If you think all day about your next beer, you are an alcoholic.
-- Advantage: Pussy

Peeling labels off of beers is fun. Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun.
-- Advantage: Pussy

If you try to snag a beer at work, you get fired. If you try to snag a pussy at work, you get hit with sexual harassment.
-- Advantage: Draw

If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break. If you suddenly drop a pussy, it may hunt you down like the dog you are.
-- Advantage: Beer

If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly have you back.
-- Advantage: Beer

The best pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
-- Advantage: Pussy

The worst pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
-- Advantage: Beer

Bad beer: Schlitz, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Old Swill. Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright, Dana Doran.
-- Advantage: Draw

Good beer: Guinness, Sam Adams, New Castle. Good pussy: Almost all but the above.
-- Advantage: Pussy

The government taxes beer.
-- Advantage: Pussy

It's a close call, but the numbers never lie.

Advantage: Pussy

Possible condom slogans

noreply@blogger.com (Yogesh Goel) — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:03:00 +0000

1) Cover your stump before you hump.
2) Before you attack her, wrap your whacker.
3) Don't be silly, protect your Willie.
4) When in doubt shroud you spout.
5) Don't be a loner, cover your boner.
6) You can't go wrong, if you shield your dong.
7) If your not going to sack it, go home and whack it.
8) If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey.
9) It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter.
10) If you slip between her thighs, condomize.
11) She won't get sick if you wrap your dick.
12) If you go into heat, package your meat.
13) While your undressing Venus, dress up your penis.
14) When you take off her pants and blouse, suit up your mouse.
15) Especially in December, gift wrap your member.
16) Never ever deck her, with an unwrapped pecker.
17) Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool.
18) The right selection, is to protect your erection.
19) Wrap it in foil, before you check her oil.
20) A crank with armor, will never harm her.
21) If you really love her, wear a cover.
22) Don't make a mistake, cover your snake.
23) Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener.
24) If you can't shield your rocket, leave it in your pocket.
25) No glove, no love.
26) If you think she'll sigh, cover old one eye.
27) Even If she's eager, protect her beaver.
28) No one likes a horses ass, protect yourself at climax.
29) Shield her from the hunt until you shoot her in the cunt.
30) Avoid a frown, contain your clown.
31) Harness the pygmy man before entering the bearded clam.
32) Constrain the little head before you stick it in the shed.
33) Put a condom on your dink before you dart it in her sink.
34) The weasel you must surround before you please her on the ground.
35) Cloak the joker before you poke her.
36) Encase that torch before you paint her porch.
37) Cape your throbber before you bob her.
38) After detection sheath your erection.
39) Before you penetrate hide your magistrate.
40) Don't surprise her plug your Geyser.
41) Cover that lumber before you pump her.
42) Protect her wrinkle before you sprinkle.
43) She won't bristle if you wrap your whistle.
44) House your noodle then release your strudel.
45) Put your dog in the pound and make her yelp like a hound.
46) Shelter your jerky then nab that turkey.
47) Cage that snake then shake and bake.
48) Cover your peter it will be much neater.
49) Coat that Labrador then allow him to explore.
50) It's always funky to cage your monkey.
51) It won't be funny with a coatless dummy.
52) It won't be fun with an unwrapped thumb.
53) It's not much money to catch your honey.
54) Don't be a fool cover your tool.
55) Hood that match then scratch that thatch.
56) Stitch that switch then itch her niche.
57) Wrap that tool to catch the drool
58) It ain't no jibe to protect her hive
59) Contain that sputum before you use him
60) Restrain your log then plow her bog
61) Glove your pecker before you check her
62) Coat that slimmer before you prime her
63) Condomize then womanize (or sodomize)
64) Cover old pete then grind her meat
65) Guard your peter before you meet her
66) Check your list before you tryst
67) Wrap your bate before you mate
68) Can your worm before you squirm
69) Cover your pipe you dumb ass wipe
70) Contain your lizard then tickle her gizzard
71) Bag the mole then do her hole
72) Cuff your carrot before you share it
73) Jail your number then call the plumber
74) Cover your vein then drive her insane
75) Wrap that pickle then slip her a tickle
76) Protect your dink then fluff her mink
77) Restrain your lantern then stick it in her cavern
78) Hide ole harry then take her cherry
79) Wrap that spout then bore her out
80) Conceal your train don't cause her pain
81) Guard your bridge then do her ridge
82) Shroud your trout then make her shout
83) To make her squat like a turkey, cover your Jerky
84) Box your blister then poke her in the whiskers
85) Wrap your spout to catch the trout
86) Plug your funnel then enter the tunnel
87) Cover your steamer before you ream her
88) Protect that fish then dip it in the dish
89) Contain that bass for a swim in her glass
90) Be sure to wear it to feed her ferret
91) Clothe the boner before you hone her
92) Got no protection? Can't use your erection!
93) Cork your pump or you don't hump
94) No unwrapped stags get between my legs
95) Dress that erection to make a deflection
96) Contain that shanker before you spank her
97) Cap that seeder before you breed her
98) Stop the stream before you cream
99) Secure that ladder then drain your bladder
100) Protect your screw to catch that glue
101) Package your meat for a real neat treat
102) Holster your gun then shootings more fun
103) Canvas that trailer before you nail her
104) Garage the tractor then attack her
105) Net that grass hopper before you pop her
106) Sock that wanger before you bang her
107) Pen that rooster, she'll be much looser
108) Trim your hardwood then do her real good
109) Garnish your oak then give her a poke
110) Pouch your associate then go fornicate
111) Smother your affiliate before you ejaculate
112) Confine your fascinate before it regurgitates
113) Catch that goat before it bloats
114) Ensnare that barbarian then do her abdomen
115) Restrain your hammer then wam bam her
116) Prune that stalk then make her squawk
117) Wrap that rod then please her bod
118) Sheath that knife she ain't your wife
119) House that bottle then mash her throttle
120) Sash that hash then thrash that gash
121) Cover your diddle then fiddle her middle
122) Can your knob then throb her swab
123) Contain old Doug then clean her rug
124) Cover your limb before you swim
125) Retain your bailer then impail her
126) Rope your dope then make some soap
127) Net your salamander then make salad in her
128) Cap your flapper then sniff her snapper
129) Wrap that Steed then trample her weeds
130) Hat that chef then scramble her cleft
131) Cover your stone before you bone
132) House your hose then curl her toes
133) Saddle your penis then straddle her mean ass
134) Blanket your twitch then hump that bitch
135) Shield your rocks then pond her box
136) Cover old sly then do her dry
137) Wrap your rail then fill her pail
138) Glove your chimney before you come in me
139) If your nude tube your dude
140) Cloak your hitter then go split her
141) Wrap your nipper before you dip her
142) Can your spam then bam that mam
143) Corral your ram then slice her ham
144) Sheath your sliver then jab her liver
145) Twist your wick then stick that prick
146) Cover old Bart then dart her tart
147) Shed old spot then do her slot
148) Drawer your pip then split her lips
149) Contain that leach then mash her peach
150) Bag your elm then take the helm
151) Constrain your gem to catch the flem
152) Catch that head cheese or I won't spread these
153) Constrain that agate you ain't no faggot
154) Survey your land then plant her stand
155) Before you drive her protect that diver
156) Sack that slimy smelt then tan her beaver pelt
157) Wrap that stiffer then let him sniff her.
158) Cover you post then slice her roast.
159) Blanket old juicy then plug old loosey.
160) Balloon your baboon the moon tune her poon.
161) Contain that viper before you pipe her.
162) Wrap your whopper, then go bop her.
163) Protect your cock with the sock.
164) Slip it on before you slip it in.
165) Don't leave it to God, cover your rod.
164) Do a good deed, don't spill your seed.
165) Tub that sub then rub her hub.
166) Wrap Mr. Clean then introduce her spleen.
167) Dam your giver then fill her quiver

Sexual Health > For Girls > All About Menstruation

noreply@blogger.com (Yogesh Goel) — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 06:47:00 +0000

Menstruation (a period) is a major stage of puberty in girls; it's one of the many physical signs that a girl is turning into a woman. And like a lot of the other changes associated with puberty, menstruation can be confusing. Some girls can't wait to start their periods, whereas others may feel afraid or anxious. Many girls (and guys!) don't have a complete understanding of a woman's reproductive system or what actually happens during the menstrual cycle, making the process seem even more mysterious.

Puberty and Periods

When girls begin to go through puberty (usually starting between the ages of 8 and 13), their bodies and minds change in many ways. The hormones in their bodies stimulate new physical development, such as growth and breast development. About 2 to 2½ years after a girl's breasts begin to develop, she usually gets her first menstrual period.

About 6 months or so before getting her first period, a girl might notice an increased amount of clear vaginal discharge. This discharge is common. There's no need for a girl to worry about discharge unless it has a strong odor or causes itchiness.

The start of periods is known as menarchemenarche. Menarche doesn't happen until all the parts of a girl's reproductive system have matured and are working together.

Body Basics: Female Reproductive SystemBaby girls are born with ovaries, fallopian tubes, and a uterus. The two ovaries are oval-shaped and sit on either side of the uterus (womb) in the lowest part of the abdomen called the pelvis. They contain thousands of eggs, or ova. The two fallopian tubes are long and thin. Each fallopian tube stretches from an ovary to the uterus, a pear-shaped organ that sits in the middle of the pelvis. The muscles in a female's uterus are powerful and are able to expand to allow the uterus to accommodate a growing fetus and then help push the baby out during labor.

As a girl matures and enters puberty, the pituitary gland releases hormones that stimulate the ovaries to produce other hormones called estrogen and progesterone. These hormones have many effects on a girl's body, including physical maturation, growth, and emotions.

About once a month, a tiny egg leaves one of the ovaries — a process called ovulation — and travels down one of the fallopian tubes toward the uterus. In the days before ovulation, the hormone estrogen stimulates the uterus to build up its lining with extra blood and tissue, making the walls of the uterus thick and cushioned. This happens to prepare the uterus for pregnancy: If the egg is fertilized by a sperm cell, it travels to the uterus and attaches to the cushiony wall of the uterus, where it slowly develops into a baby.

If the egg isn't fertilized, though — which is the case during most of a woman's monthly cycles — it doesn't attach to the wall of the uterus. When this happens, the uterus sheds the extra tissue lining. The blood, tissue, and unfertilized egg leave the uterus, going through the vagina on the way out of the body. This is a menstrual period. This cycle happens almost every month for several more decades (except, of course, when a female is pregnant) until a woman reaches menopause and no longer releases eggs from her ovaries.
How Often Does a Girl Get Her Period?

Just as some girls begin puberty earlier or later than others, the same applies to periods. Some girls may start menstruating as early as age 10, but others may not get their first period until they are 15 years old.

The amount of time between a girl's periods is called her menstrual cycle (the cycle is counted from the start of one period to the start of the next). Some girls will find that their menstrual cycle lasts 28 days, whereas others might have a 24-day cycle, a 30-day cycle, or even longer. Following menarche, menstrual cycles last 21–45 days. After a couple of years, cycles shorten to an adult length of 21–34 days.

Irregular periods are common in girls who are just beginning to menstruate. It may take the body a while to sort out all the changes going on, so a girl may have a 28-day cycle for 2 months, then miss a month, for example. Usually, after a year or two, the menstrual cycle will become more regular. Some women continue to have irregular periods into adulthood, though.

As a girl gets older and her periods settle down — or she gets more used to her own unique cycle — she will probably find that she can predict when her period will come. In the meantime, it's a good idea to keep track of your menstrual cycle with a calendar.
How Long and How Much?

The amount of time that a girl has her period also can vary. Some girls have periods that last just 2 or 3 days. Other girls may have periods that last 7 days or longer. The menstrual flow — meaning how much blood comes out of the vagina — can vary widely from girl to girl, too.

Some girls may be concerned that they're losing too much blood. It can be a shock to see all that blood, but it's unlikely that a girl will lose too much, unless she has a medical condition like von Willebrand disease. Though it may look like a lot, the average amount of blood is only about 2 tablespoons (30 milliliters) for an entire period. Most teens will change pads 3 to 6 times a day, with more frequent changes when their period is heaviest, usually at the start of the period.

Especially when menstrual periods are new, you may be worried about your blood flow or whether your period is normal in other ways. Talk to a doctor or nurse if:

* your period lasts longer than a week
* you have to change your pad very often (soaking more than one pad every 1–2 hours)
* you go longer than 3 months between periods
* you have bleeding in between periods
* you have an unusual amount of pain before or during your period
* your periods were regular then became irregular

Cramps, PMS, and Pimples

Some girls may notice physical or emotional changes around the time of their periods. Menstrual cramps are pretty common — in fact, more than half of all women who menstruate say they have cramps during the first few days of their periods. Doctors think that cramps are caused by prostaglandin, a chemical that causes the muscles of the uterus to contract.

Depending on the girl, menstrual cramps can be dull and achy or sharp and intense, and they can sometimes be felt in the back as well as the abdomen. These cramps often become less uncomfortable and sometimes even disappear completely as a girl gets older.

Many girls and women find that over-the-counter pain medications (like acetaminophen or ibuprofen) can relieve cramps, as can taking a warm bath or applying a warm heating pad to the lower abdomen. Exercising regularly throughout the monthly cycle may help lessen cramps, too. If these things don't help, ask your doctor for advice.

Some girls and women find that they feel sad or easily irritated during the few days or week before their periods. Others may get angry more quickly than normal or cry more than usual. Some girls crave certain foods. These types of emotional changes may be the result of .

PMS is related to changes in the body's hormones. As hormone levels rise and fall during a woman's menstrual cycle, they can affect the way she feels, both emotionally and physically. Some girls, in addition to feeling more intense emotions than they usually do, notice physical changes along with their periods — some feel bloated or puffy because of water retention, others notice swollen and sore breasts, and some get headaches.

PMS usually goes away soon after a period begins, but it can come back month after month. Eating right, getting enough sleep, and exercising may help relieve some of the symptoms of PMS. Talk to your doctor if you are concerned about your premenstrual symptoms.

It's also not uncommon for girls to have an acne flare-up during certain times of their cycle; again, this is due to hormones. Fortunately, the pimples associated with periods tend to become less of a problem as girls get older.
Pads, Tampons, and Liners

Once you begin menstruating, you'll need to use something to absorb the blood. Most girls use a pad or a tampon. But some use menstrual cups, which a girl inserts into her vagina to catch and hold the blood (instead of absorbing it, like a tampon).

There are so many products out there that it may take some experimenting before you find the one that works best for you. Some girls use only pads (particularly when they first start menstruating), some use only tampons, and some switch around — tampons during the day and pads at night, for example.

Girls who worry about leakage from a tampon often use a pantiliner, too, and some girls use liners alone on very light days of their periods.

Periods shouldn't get in the way of exercising, having fun, and enjoying life. Girls who are very active, particularly those who enjoy swimming, often find that tampons are the best option during sports.

If you have questions about pads, tampons, or coping with periods, ask a parent, health teacher, school nurse, or older sister.

HIV and AIDS

noreply@blogger.com (Yogesh Goel) — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 06:47:00 +0000

What Is It?

AIDS is one of the most serious, deadly diseases in human history.

More than 20 years ago, doctors in the United States identified the first cases of AIDS in San Francisco and New York. Now there are an estimated 42 million people living with HIV or AIDS worldwide, and more than 3 million die every year from AIDS-related illnesses.

AIDS is caused by the human immunodeficiency virus (HIV). HIV destroys a type of defense cell in the body called a CD4 helper lymphocyte (pronounced: lim-fuh-site). These lymphocytes are part of the body's immune system, the defense system that fights infectious diseases. But as HIV destroys these lymphocytes, people with the virus begin to get serious infections that they normally wouldn't — that is, they become immune deficient. The name for this condition is acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDS).

As the medical community learns more about how HIV works, they've been able to develop drugs to inhibit it (meaning they interfere with its growth). These drugs have been successful in slowing the progress of the disease, and people with the disease now live much longer. But there is still no cure for HIV and AIDS.

Hundreds of U.S. teens become infected with HIV each year. HIV can be transmitted from an infected person to another person through blood, semen (also known as "cum," the fluid released from the penis when a male ejaculates), vaginal fluids, and breast milk.

The virus is spread through high-risk behaviors including:

unprotected oral, vaginal, or anal sexual intercourse ("unprotected" means not using a condom)
sharing needles, such as needles used to inject drugs (including needles used for injecting steroids) and those used for tattooing

People who have another sexually transmitted disease, such as syphilis, genital herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhea, or bacterial vaginosis are at greater risk for getting HIV during sex with infected partners.

If a woman with HIV is pregnant, her newborn baby can catch the virus from her before birth, during the birthing process, or from breastfeeding. If doctors know an expectant mother has HIV, they can usually prevent the spread of the virus from mother to baby. All pregnant teens and women should be tested for HIV so they can begin treatment if necessary.

How Does HIV Affect the Body?

A healthy body is equipped with CD4 helper lymphocyte cells (CD4 cells). These cells help the immune system function normally and fight off certain kinds of infections. They do this by acting as messengers to other types of immune system cells, telling them to become active and fight against an invading germ.

HIV attaches to these CD4 cells, infects them, and uses them as a place to multiply. In doing so, the virus destroys the ability of the infected cells to do their job in the immune system. The body then loses the ability to fight many infections.

Because their immune systems are weakened, people who have AIDS are unable to fight off many infections, particularly tuberculosis and other kinds of otherwise rare infections of the lung (such as Pneumocystis carinii pnuemonia), the surface covering of the brain (meningitis), or the brain itself (encephalitis). People who have AIDS tend to keep getting sicker, especially if they are not taking antiviral medications properly.

AIDS can affect every body system. The immune defect caused by having too few CD4 cells also permits some cancers that are stimulated by viral illness to occur — some people with AIDS get forms of lymphoma and a rare tumor of blood vessels in the skin called Kaposi's sarcoma. Because AIDS is fatal, it's important that doctors detect HIV infection as early as possible so a person can take medication to delay the onset of AIDS.

How Do People Know They Have HIV?

Once a person's blood lacks the number of CD4 cells required to fight infections, or the person has signs of specific illnesses or diseases that occur in people with HIV infection, doctors make a diagnosis of AIDS.

Severe symptoms of HIV infection and AIDS may not appear for 10 years. And for years leading up to that, a person may not have symptoms of AIDS. The amount of time it takes for symptoms of AIDS to appear varies from person to person. Some people may feel and look healthy for years while they are infected with HIV. It is still possible to infect others with HIV, even if the person with the virus has absolutely no symptoms. You cannot tell simply by looking at someone whether he or she is infected.

When a person's immune system is overwhelmed by AIDS, the symptoms can include:

extreme weakness or fatigue
rapid weight loss
frequent fevers that last for several weeks with no explanation
heavy sweating at night
swollen lymph glands
minor infections that cause skin rashes and mouth, genital, and anal sores
white spots in the mouth or throat
chronic diarrhea
a cough that won't go away
trouble remembering things

Girls may also experience severe vaginal yeast infections that don't respond to usual treatment, as well as pelvic inflammatory disease (PID).

How Can It Be Prevented?

One of the reasons that HIV is so dangerous is that a person can have the virus for a long time without knowing it. That person can then spread the virus to others through high-risk behaviors. HIV transmission can be prevented by:

abstaining from sex (not having oral, vaginal, or anal sex)
always using latex condoms for all types of sexual intercourse
avoiding contact with the bodily fluids through which HIV is transmitted
never sharing needles

How Is It Diagnosed and Treated?

If you think that you may have HIV or AIDS or if you have had a partner who may have HIV or AIDS, see your family doctor, adolescent doctor, or gynecologist. He or she will talk with you and perform tests. The doctor may do a blood test or a swab of the inside of your cheek. Depending on what type of test is done, results may take from a few hours to several days.

People can also get tested for HIV/AIDS at special AIDS clinics around the country. Clinics offer both anonymous (meaning the clinic doesn't know a person's name) and confidential (meaning they know who a person is but keep it private) testing. Most AIDS testing centers will ask you to follow up for counseling to get your results, whether the test is negative or positive.

If you're not sure how to find a doctor or get an AIDS test, you can contact the National AIDS Hotlines at (800) 342-AIDS (English) or (800) 344-7432 (Spanish). A specialist there will explain what you should do next.

There is no cure for AIDS, which makes prevention so important. Combinations of antiviral drugs and drugs that boost the immune system have allowed many people with HIV to resist infections, stay healthy, and prolong their lives, but these medications are not a cure. Right now there is no vaccine to prevent HIV and AIDS, although researchers are working on developing one.

Can a Girl Get Pregnant if She Has Sex During Her Period?

noreply@blogger.com (Yogesh Goel) — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 16:20:00 +0000

A lot of people think that if a girl has sex during her period, she can't get pregnant. But it is possible for a girl to get pregnant while she is bleeding. This can happen for a couple of reasons:

Not all vaginal bleeding is the result of a menstrual period. Sometimes a girl will have a small amount of vaginal bleeding at the time of ovulation — the time when she is most fertile. During ovulation, an egg is released from one of the ovaries and travels down a fallopian tube to the uterus. It's common for girls who are ovulating to have some vaginal bleeding that can be mistaken for a period.
Sometimes ovulation can occur before the bleeding from a girl's period has stopped, or it may occur within a few days after her period is over. Sperm can fertilize an egg for several days after ejaculation. So in both cases, having sex before the period is finished can result in pregnancy.

Having unprotected sex at any time is very risky. Along with the chance of becoming pregnant, there is also the risk of getting a sexually transmitted disease (STD), such as chlamydia, genital warts, or HIV. The only surefire way to prevent pregnancy and STDs is abstinence. If you do have sex, use a condom every time to protect against STDs. And talk to your doctor about additional forms of contraception.