12:49 In The Afternoon

I'm bitter again.

2011-06-27T00:07:00.000-04:00

I just want time to myself.
That's all.

INKED.

2011-06-25T05:51:00.000-04:00

That's my first tattoo. I've been pondering about where/what I should get for my second tattoo. There are so many that I want, but I can only get so much. I want one on my wrist in white ink, one down my spine, one on my right shoulder blade, and many more places. So many places to choose from, I just want them all :(

Mm,

2011-06-23T23:35:00.002-04:00

1. Best friends for life and eternity?
You know when your best friend of the opposite sex has feelings for you when he makes those sexual advances towards you. Like yesterday, I went over to my best friend's house, and I ended up falling asleep on his bed. Next thing you know, he wakes me up with his shirt off and on top of me. He kept asking me why I have a boyfriend and that I should get with him (as a fuck buddy).

I really don't get it. I've told him about maybe more than 100 times that I didn't like him like that, that he was just my best friend (for LIFE and ETERNITY). I don't understand why he keeps trying. I mean, do my words mean nothing to him at all? He keeps telling me that I give him mixed signals, uh...... like no. I don't. You give yourself those thoughts. I mean, I only told him more than 100 times that I see him as a friend, my BEST friend and nothing more. It's very simple to understand.

2. How do you balance out a relationship and work/school?
I think it's been almost a week since I've seen my current boyfriend. I don't blame him though because I'd be shit tired too. Right now, he has too much on his plate. He works 11 hours a day and starts summer courses next month. Of course I'd want us to work out, but how can it when one is just too tired to try? Today was the first time for awhile that we talked (via SMS). He asked me why I would like someone like him, and how would it benefit me if I were to stay with him. I'm with him because I like him. I'm happy when I'm with him. Although the time we share together may be short, I'm glad because we were after all spending time with each other.

..

Just wondering,

2011-06-22T00:00:00.001-04:00

Who would be okay if there was a lack of everything in their relationship with their significant other?

It feels like I'm just there on the side, for whenever he needs a companion or if he's lonely. He's always doing his own thing, and it's the same with me. I would like to spend more time with him, but I don't want to be a nuisance since he's always tired from work. Though I see him the majority of the week, I do miss him quite often. After all, I only see him for 5-10 minutes (daily). It's always a let down for me when I try to socialize with him anyways. He never seems to respond.

You see, I rarely talk to my girls about it because I don't want to burden them with this. Some of them are going through things far more worse than I am, but even without me telling them, they seem to always know if there's something is upsetting me. They're always scolding and lecturing me left and right.

"Why are you the one always texting him, when he never answers? He can't even take a few minutes every hour to text you to see how you are, or what you're doing. You're obviously upset about it, and he doesn't even realize it because he never takes the time to even try."

I've told him once before that I wasn't happy, and well.. he got pretty mad. He tried a bit after, but that only lasted for so long.

My, oh my. What a cunning person he is. He's made it so no other could fill that void he's left.

Tuesdays With Morrie,

2011-06-21T00:58:00.003-04:00

I need this book. No, seriously.
This book is really a fucking masterpiece.

Out of the usual routine,

2011-05-26T02:40:00.004-04:00

Today: Be happy.
Tomorrow: Be happy.
Day after tomorrow and so on: Be happy.

I got this.

Help, please..

2011-04-30T12:57:00.002-04:00

I've put myself in a position where I can't even help myself. Late night partying, drinking, and everything else. I need to get myself out, NOW. I didn't see that it was a problem until now. I need help. Wait no, I need to stop. COMPLETELY. This is such an unhealthy life style. It's slowly fucking me up mentally and physically. Getting my family worried about me. I'm such a inconsiderate. I can't be doing this anymore.

God, please give me the willpower to just give this life up. Give me the strength to lead astray from the current lifestyle that I have adapted.

Happy Chinese New Year!

2011-02-03T00:39:00.004-05:00

My pretty polka dotted pink bow tie. Ain't it cute? Sorry for the awkward face, but that picture was at like.. 4:30 in the morn. Mm, the bow tie was actually from my work place, Paris Baguette (yes, that korean bakery in Main st). Haha, I actually took it from the caker's side of the building. I remember taking a blue one as well, but I can't seem to find it anywhere. It's like it vanished into thin air! It's alright though, I'll go back to work and see if they have another one ^^

Anyways, HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR! I hope everyone gets MADD money this year and save it!

2011-01-18T01:32:00.001-05:00

Snow, you have got to go.

Wants,

2011-01-10T04:48:00.001-05:00

After I buy my phone, I'm buying a new jacket.

and that is all.

Love,
C

Cheers! To the new year.

2011-01-03T02:27:00.004-05:00

I must say, the last month of 2010 was the absolute worst for me. Can I get an amen, anyone?

Here, a few events of MY December of 2010:

1. The Ex Girl
So, there was once this girl. She was one of my closest friends that I've made this past year. We talked/chilled/worked on a regular basis, you know, all that shit. I treated her really well, and everyone saw that. I never did anything that wronged her. One day, something happened to my boyfriend at work and he got fired. This girl who thought she knew what really happened, decided to tell another of my close friend. It just so happened that the other close friend was dating my manager and I had told her what happened. This girl, who I thought was my close friend, twisted the story I had told her, and molded a new story which made me look like the worst person that ever walked on earth. She then told my other close friend, her version of what really happened, and almost turned her against me. By the grace of God, my other friend was smart, and confirmed her story with mine. In the end, based on what that girl heard, and what she "thought" she knew, she almost broke a friendship. Of course after, I confronted her, and her argument was simply because she didn't feel like it was any of her business to tell me. Honestly, if it's not any of your business, then you shouldn't be talking to others about like it is your business.

In the end, I forgave her, even if her apology wasn't sincere.

A few days later, she cause her boyfriend, which is my boyfriend's God brother, to get into a physical fight.

and that was the limit; dropped that dumb bitch in a blink of an eye.

2. Work
Someone stole $143.00 from my wallet at work. D:

3. My Birthday
The fucking snow blizzard ruined my birthday. Started off going to the mall to buy a new outfit, but ended up turning back half way there. Later that night, we were supposed to go drink at Prince, but we couldn't because we kept getting stuck everywhere (highways, streets, you name it -_-)

What a predicament

2010-12-19T01:32:00.000-05:00

Oh, December.

2010-12-10T12:23:00.004-05:00

Again, my apoligies for not updating the whole month. I haven't really found the time to update. Currently, I'm in my government class updating, so I'm going to make this one quick.

So far, this month's been alright. I mean, it hasn't been the greatest month, but not the worst month as well. The boyfriend, education, my girls, and work has been preoccupying my time at the moment. As you can see, not much of church or family. I don't know, this month ( and so forth), I'd like to spend most of my free time with my family and friends. I don't know, I just know I haven't been spending so much time with them. I mean, yeah, I buy the neccessities for the house, but still, that's not really spending quality time with them, ya know? It's sad, isn't it?

Mm, in school, my attendance is actually very poor. It's around 67%? Sigh, I feel that I need to snap out of senioritis and just get motivated to just attend school and do the shit they give me. Recently, I've been going to every single class though. If I have a project or something that's due, I do it when I get home. 3rd marking period of first semester; so far so good. I hope my grade dramatically increases with a miracle or something. I don't know, we'll see the progress I've made in a month and a half.

I don't really conversate with much people in school. Those seniors in my school are ridiculous. I can't associate myself with them just because I feel that I might dumb myself down if I'm on their level. Like I'm not saying that I'm better than they are, but their logic and the things they talk about, it's really fucking annoying. I feel like I'm talking to a fucking five year old. I have absolutely no patience with people like that. Sigh, there are only a few exceptions for me, here at Bayside. It's just so sad that the rest of them can't be as sensible as they are.

Sorry for the neglection,

2010-11-18T12:53:00.004-05:00

but I haven't been on a computer for a very long time. School, work, family, boyfriend, and my girls, everything is just so overwhelming for me at the moment. For now, I have a little red book for myself, and for only myself. I also share two seperate books for Fifs and Amy. I write things that I normally write here, but that's just my replacement for the blog, minus the self-taken pictures of what I usually wear. Perhaps, when I have more time, I'll return to blogging. Sadly, I'm running out of time, I have like two minutes left before class ends, so until next time, dears!
Love,
Carms.

Greeeeeting from work!

2010-07-27T08:38:00.003-04:00

Cheesing it up at work!

Goodness gracious, I haven't been on a computer long enough to write an entry since my last entry. What have I been doing? Ive been working every single day since the beginning of this month. Working every damn day wasn't one of my brightest idea, but hey, I guess it's best to earn money doing something, rather than wasting money doing nothing.

Summer 2010 Wants,

2010-06-22T11:03:00.003-04:00

WEDGES.

FLATS

ROMPERS

Oh Summer, please be kind to my wallet and bank account.

Meet the Funs

2010-05-28T09:00:00.005-04:00

This is my family, minus daddy. We enjoy doing family activities like getting at each others throats, and finding ways to embarrass each other in front of our SO. Other than that, we're just your typical Asian family.

Anywhooo, I'll be at 42nd and Lexington tomorrow till 6. Get at me!

Day with the boyfriend,

2010-05-24T22:18:00.005-04:00

F21, Target, MNG
(Click to enlarge)

I spent my day with the faggot today.

It was a good day indeed.

&I thought you guys should know,

2010-05-20T00:28:00.003-04:00

please vote and support!

http://www.fabric05.com/author/carms

1. Click the link
2. Click the pretty little icon pictures
3. Click the button right next to the header (picture below)

♥

2010-05-15T23:03:00.004-04:00

F21, HM

"Let me show you what your missin,
Paradise
With me youre winning girl
You dont have to roll the dice
Tell me what youre really here for
Them other guys?
I can see right through ya"

I LOVE YOU JULIE JULES CHUNG ♥
I can't wait until our next date with Mels! ^^ ♥♥♥♥♥♥

Hey, Soul sister

2010-05-12T23:22:00.005-04:00

Walmart, F21, Aldo

"Hey soul sister,
ain't that Mr. Mister on the radio,
stereo, the way you move ain't fair, you know!
Hey soul sister, I don't want to miss a single thing you do tonight."

Alright, so my lunch date with Sandy was canceled, but all was good cause I found Vimmy and friends in Quicklys after school. It's been awhile since I've actually really hung out with them, and it felt good. Why don't I hang with them? It's cause they have they're own group of friends, namsayin? Anyways, after Quicklys, we went to Mc. Donalds cause Fifi wanted some burger and fries with the soda on the side. We sat there for a pretty long time, me coloring in the pictures in the book I'm going to give my faggot ass boyfriend, and them talking amongst themselves. I would say it was sorta good bonding time.

After we finished eating, Fifi and I needed to look for a new book. It took a while, but we got it. It's pretty fucking thick, so we'll probably enjoy doodling in the book as well as writing what's on our mind. Good shit though, I really can't wait to see the outcome of it ^^

Okay, I'm tired. Goodnight. :D

Chanel's see right through your tinted brains

2010-05-10T20:02:00.007-04:00

"Watch me when the sky is dark and sun is sleep
Time is here for me to show you wait and see
Want to love you, give you just 'bout everything
Won't you come see me after 12AM
That's when I change
I know you'll love me after 12AM "

Good Monday to you!

Today, I wore my wedges, Asymmetrical studded top, and a warm cardigan. Boy was I comfy in school. I took those bad girls out on an adventure today, and I got a lot of comments on them, both good and bad, but more good (of course).

Anyways, the week just started and I can sense it going by extremely fast. I've still got four more days until the week's over, but I've got plans that will make this week go by quicker than Flash running. Anyways, since tomorrow's Tuesday, I have no gym, so that means I go home earlier than Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays. Unfortunately, I won't have any plans for tomorrow and Thursday, unless someone gets at me, but since no one really knows about this blog, I doubt it'd happen. I actually have another lunch date with Sandy and Salena on Wednesday, I'll find my sister at Kyoto on Friday, and hopefully do something before/after church, and a karaoke date with Jules on Saturday.

OHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I can't wait!

Before you know it, it's going to be the 18th, and my faggot ass boyfriend is going to be back until fall semester and I can go back to abusing him on a daily basis.
♥

Under the weather,

2010-05-06T11:04:00.005-04:00

2010-04-18T22:42:00.003-04:00

"Men are stupid and women are crazy. And the reason women are so crazy is because men are so stupid."
- Connie Van (via FB status!)

My boyfriend smd.

Hi, hello

2010-03-16T17:04:00.005-04:00

Danny, Tamtam, and I♥

Quick entry before I head out to eat with Franklin and Chris.

This week has been a sleepless weekend for me. How selfish of my sister to have the whole weekend to celebrate her birthday, only not to celebrate her birthday on her actual birthday. On Friday, I got a call from American Apparel to come in that day for an interview. I went around 2:30 and got there at 4:00. After the interview I walked to Prince st to take the subway back to Queens, only to find out that the trains weren't running on those tracks. It took me 20 minutes (super icy rain along with winds blowing into my face D:) to walk to Astor Place, and from there on, it took ANOTHER hour or so to get back to Queens. The damn MTA system is absolutely horrible.

After the whole MTA fiasco, I went to my boyfriend's house to take a nap before church, only to miss church because I couldn't wake up. We hustled our way to church, to think that no one was there. Silly us, we didn't even try to attempt to open the doors until 5 minutes of scoping the perimeter. We eventually found my sister and went to Main st to do some errands before heading to Brooklyn for my sister's 20th birthday party. When we got to Brooklyn, I collected the money and made sure that we had enough with my sister's friend, Christina. After the money issue was settled, Matt pulled me up and made me drink with him. The first shot of the night: Jäger, straight up of course. Then came the green tea Henney, Patron, Jack, etc. The list goes on and on. By the end of the night, Victoria was out and we slept over at Aye's house.

Saturday morning, we woke up and went back to my place to freshen up and get some more rest before Alice in Wonderland 3D and dinner in Chinatown. It was raining like a bitch the whole day D: We actually woke up in time, but ended up seeing the movie at a later time because people actually was late due to the party the night before. I don't quite remember what happened that night, but yeah. I'm sure it was pretty gangster.

By Sunday morning, I died. I had some kind of killer headache and I completely assed out that day.

And there was my epic weekend.