I am real anxious to get started on remodeling my bedroom, but I can’t start that until I have some storage for some of the junk littering my room now. Hence, this article. Or, part 1 of who knows how many to get this thing built. My landlord is letting me do just about anything I want, so my plan here is to add a storage unit to the inside corner of the building on my back patio.

The storage unit will be 4′ wide by 2′ deep. It tucks up under the existing eves of the roof. Because the dimensions are limited, I have to be very frugal with the space. Instead of using regular 2×4 lumber, I am using 2×3″ studs I bought at Home Depot. I’ve used them before, when I made a 2-sided surround for my refrigerator. As long as the demands for structural integrity are minimal, this lumber should work just fine. Should.

The base of the storage unit is going on a concrete slab. Because moisture tends to wick up through concrete, it could rot wood framing placed on top of it. For this reason, it’s wise to use treated lumber. Redwood or Cedar are 2 wood species that can withstand the elements, but they aren’t suitable for the base of a storage unit.

Constructing the base was simple and straight forward – with the exception of having to work around the existing pipes for waste water and water heater blow-off. Don’t ask me why the builder did it that way. All I know is I have to work around it. There’s also a clothes dryer vent that I will have to deal with. I used 3″ deck screws to assemble the base. It went smoothly, but it takes me an extraordinarily long time to do these kinds of things because the exertion taxes my lungs pretty heavily.

The project has taken several days so far – actually, about 4 hours to do the framing for the base and about 2½ hours today on the plywood floor, with the access for the waste clean-out, and the framing for the front of the storage unit. Your mileage will no doubt be much better, especially if you ain’t sucking oxygen through a hose in your nose.

But there was a little snag. I should known the lumber would not be the best, but my previous experience was a whole lot better – and more fun. This batch of 2×3′s is really dry and brittle. I’ve tried to pre-drill for the screws (hey, if screwing insteada nailing framing is good enough for Holmes on Homes, it’s good enough for me), but this lumber was still splitting. It broke my drill bit, so I resorted to nailing. I had 2 different kinds of 16 penny nails, as you see in the picture, but neither prevented the terrible splitting.

That was enough for me today. I decided to ease my tension by writing this. I am either going to try the screws again (with a slightly bigger drill bit starter hole this time), or I will hook up the compressor and nail gun. That might have been easier to begin with, but I don’t have any 16′s for the framing nailer and you have to buy enough for practically a whole house around here. Maybe in Reno, I can find a smaller quantity. For now, this is all I have done. It’s a start and I really do enjoy doing it.

Look for the continuing saga of building a storage unit here soon. Your comments are welcome.

As I got older, the calories began to be more noticeable, creating areas of collecting fat modules like around my middle and on my buttocks (I liked the way Forest, Forest Gump said “butt-tocks”). I needed more sleep, but still, I didn’t always have to endure that alone. Heavier and less fit, my late forties and early fifties were some of my favorite years.

Now I’m old and my deteriorating lungs have made the way my body burns fat and calories much less efficient. Exercise is so difficult, my work now is mostly sitting behind a keyboard and monitor, there’s no love life now, I got rid of the bicycle years ago and what little shopping and walking I do now is mostly with the aide of a Segway PT. Prob’ly the most difficult habit to break is the staying up late. But if I don’t get at least 7 hours of sleep, my brain and my body don’t function like they should, even in this diseased state.

Most people don’t realize the simplest and benign things in life become strenuous chores when your lungs go bad. Some of the most physically challenging things I do now are taking a shower, drying off and getting dressed. It stinks.

No, really, it stinks – my body odors – they literally stink because I don’t clean them as much as I would like. It saps my energy and causes me to gasp for air. I can’t wear my oxygen in the shower. I suck that O2 through a hose in my nose, and it’s damn difficult to breathe through your nose in the shower. Let alone keep the dang thing out of your way when you are trying to clean yourself.

So, everything I eat contains calories, cholesterol, sugar and fat globules that cling to just about every part of my body now. Yet I continue to eat cake, cook my meals out of a can or box; or eat peanut butter and jelly or tuna fish and egg sandwiches. When I have the money to eat out, it’s usually a cheeseburger and fries or some kind breakfast with eggs, maybe bacon and oh, biscuits – I love teh fresh made biscuits and butter.

My hours are awful. I stay up until 3 or 4 AM most of the time and can’t sleep past 10 AM or so without feeling totally guilty for staying in bed so long. Well, it really ain’t long enough for my body, but it seems too long because it’s so late in the morning. I used to get up at 7 AM to get ready for work. Occasionally these days, it’s nearly 7 by the time I push myself away from the computer to go to bed.

What is the solution? I don’t know. If I did, I might be talking about what a great life I have even with late stage emphysema. I’d be braggin’ on my appeal to the ladies (and to be honest, there was a certain amount of pride in getting flirted with by gay guys – just before it grossed me out, but there was still this thought that, “I got it goin’ on”). In fact, this would be a here’s-how-ya-do-it article instead of a woe-is-me article. Hey, I told you I might do this.

My hope is that just writing it down for me to see – and you too, of course – might give me some of the motivation I need to stop this bad behavior. I kinda have a feeling I know what the root of the problem is: HALT – Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired. I’ll think on it and maybe that will be my next article. But at least now I have this etched in stone… well, in the ether anyway. It’s there in front of me and now I have to think about it every time I look at my computer (or at least when I visit this site). We shall see if it helps.

Your words of encouragement would be nice. I can even take a little criticism. But I guarantee you, SPAM will not be eaten, it will be destroyed.

But that day last May was the beginning of something that changed the way I felt about my life and what I wanted to do with at least part of what I had left of it. The credit goes to David Bromstad, interior designer and host of Color Splash – his infectious zest for taking on each new challenge and the joy he brought and shared with everyone around him – and this new viewer. I was just flipping through channels looking for something to watch on TV. I found Color Splash on HGTV.

It didn’t hit me for a couple of days, but soon I was looking for David on the Internet. I found his website and the HGTV site and discovered there were lots of full-length episodes available for me to watch. And it wasn’t just David, but Danielle Hirsch, Ian McCartt and all the assistants and production staff and how they all seemed to be like a family having a great time designing and decorating all these wonderful spaces.

David has immense talent and humility. Sometimes it looks like even he is surprised at what he has been able to create. I remember that feeling from the days I used to do floors – and customize computer cases, remodel my home, build model cars as a kid and even when I was a wannabe decorator in high school (but you didn’t talk about that in the hick school I grew up in). David, Ian and Danielle helped me remember that I have talent too. Maybe not as much as they have, but heck, I could do some of that stuff.

I live in a converted garage. I am very grateful to my closest friend for giving me a place to live when I lost my home. But at the time, it was just a cave for me to crawl into and die. Today, nearly six months after discovering Color Splash and David Bromstad, my cave is beginning to morph into a beautiful and comfortable home. It’s still strewn with lumber, paint cans and you have to contort yourself over the obstacles to get to the only chair left after other furnishings have been put into storage. But it is actually transforming a little bit every day. This normally 2-week project (2 days, for the Color Splash team) is into its 5th month and there’s still a ways to go. My lungs keep me working at a snail’s pace and my finances force me to scrounge, beg and be very patient, but it’s really happening.

Thanks to David, his giddy laugh and contagious joy in the process of creating something beautiful, my place is going to be quite nice. I have been chronicling it somewhat on my flooring forum here: Redesigning My Apartment and I will try to post some of the more memorable transformations here in my blog. But I wanted to start with this homage to David Bromstad and crew. I am so grateful for him bringing me back to life. And I promise to recreate my space into something to be proud of and will produce that same kind of amazement you see on the faces of all his make-over subjects.

Can we finish up with the complaints about our local California Highway Patrol real soon, please? It’s getting tiresome and some of you are sounding like whiners. Really. Because there have been so few cheering for the CHP, allow me.

I’ve been driving the roads of Plumas County most of my adult life. That totals around 12 thousand days I’ve spent behind the wheel of a car, truck or motorcycle just here in Plumas County. For much of that time, I did floors all over Plumas 5, 6 and sometimes 7 days a week, which adds up to a heck of a lot of driving miles. I’m not the best driver and I don’t always follow every law, so consequently, I’ve been stopped by officers on a number of occasions through all these years.

Not once in my 44 year driving history, here and elsewhere, was I ever stopped because I didn’t do something wrong. Every single time I was doing something I shouldn’t have, something that endangered myself or others. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I forget that I don’t really have as much control behind the wheel of a three or four thousand pound vehicle as I think I do. I do like to think I don’t need many reminders, but when I do, the CHP is there to do just that.

My last ticket was about 3 years ago. Speeding – driving too fast while towing a trailer. It broke a personal best of 16 years without a ticket. I was upset because I felt I was driving safe. But the cop did his job because I wasn’t doing mine.

Even though there was a very long span between tickets, I had been stopped for infractions on a number of occasions. I firmly believe it was my attitude and demeanor that saved me from tickets I so deserved. I was not always aware of what law I broke, but I always knew when I was wrong. Infractions were always explained to me and I never denied committing any of them. As a professional in a different field of work, I knew that this professional prob’ly knew better than me. The customer is NOT always right. My feeling is that being humble and willing to learn from someone who knows better, saved me money, time and very well could have saved me or someone else from harm. I have always been grateful for warnings. After a little wound-licking, I have even found gratitude in a couple of real scoldings (I remember thinking once, please, just write me a ticket instead).

Things are a little different for me now. I spend more hours on my “handicap device” than I do behind the wheel of my car. I know I stick out like a sore thumb (it’s actually sore lungs) gliding around wherever I can on my Segway – standing straight up, seemingly balanced precariously between 2 wheels. But as visible as a 260 pound, 6′ 8″ man on two fat tires is, I can’t tell you how many auto drivers just don’t see me. California Vehicle Code considers me a pedestrian, which means I have to follow the rules any other pedestrian follows – and cars are s’posed to regard me as a pedestrian too, but they don’t always.

I rely on law enforcement, particularly the California Highway Patrol, to protect me because drivers don’t always know to let me glide across the street in the cross-walk or otherwise give me the right-of-way as they would any other pedestrian. My complaints are with drivers who don’t look carefully before entering an intersection. I don’t like it when people park right on the sidewalk. I don’t like it when drivers flip me off for gliding on the left side of the roadway, toward oncoming traffic.

I am where I should be, most of the time, and I try hard to follow the rules because my chosen mode of transportation is unconventional. That isn’t to say I want everyone to get a ticket for not letting me use the cross-walk, but I do appreciate that the CHP is there to let you know my rights and keep me and other mobility impaired people safe.

We should support our law enforcement and stop with the public ridicule. They aren’t politicians, they are men and women doing a very difficult job – not even to mention the enormous risk to health and life they face. No doubt they make mistakes, as do we all. I don’t know what I would have done if anyone had written to the editor about a bad carpet seam or a gap I left in the hardwood. A phone call is what it took to make those things right and I suspect that’s what might work when you feel an officer has done their job poorly.

If you feel changes to the laws and policies are in order, then take it up in the appropriate manner. Save those stories about your woes at the hands of lawless law men and women for your friends and associates that enjoy hearing them. Everyone likes a good cop joke, but this recent CHP bash-fest isn’t entertaining at all.

Let’s try to make the patrol officer’s job easier by practicing better driving habits. Report drunk drivers, call about road hazards and take a little responsibility to help make our roads and highways safer, cleaner and more fun to travel. And let those patrol men and women know you appreciate their helping your time on the road to be safer – give them a wave.

That’s right, no great computer mod that has designs to be published in a computer magazine. I already did that. It was a great mod I called Functional Design. It took a couple of months to build and had all the latest and greatest hardware of the day. I gave it a beautiful paint job, lots of bling and I didn’t stop at just the case mod either. I modded the monitor with a matching paint job and some chrome accents, did the same for the keyboard and even the mouse (actually, I hate mice and only use trackballs). The whole system was mounted on a roll-about Craftsman tool cabinet that I had enlarged the surface of to make room for everything. The publishers at CPU Magazine loved it and made it their Mad Reader Mod for the month of October, 2003. Here are a few pictures – be sure to click them to see them full-size.

So, I don’t really need another published mod. That was a lot of fun and I was really proud to have it featured in a major magazine. It did encourage me to do even more and I spent a lot of my time online sharing what I could with other modders and those who wanted to be modders. My last project was sponsored by a major computer gear manufacturer, Cooler Master, of Taiwan. They gave me most of the products used in the modding of what I fondly called “The Grump Case.” That is the nick-name I used in many forums on the internet. That project was chronicled on the Cooler Master forums and on another forum I frequented, Gideon Tech Forums. There are a lot of pictures on both of those sites, but here’s a few to satisfy you if you don’t want to spend the time on the other sites.

I think I have accomplished my goal of having a wide audience appreciate my craftsmanship in modifying a computer case. It has given me a great deal of pride and it was so much fun helping others make the right choices and develop the skills to do painting, wire management, cutting windows, layering Plexiglas and being creative.

The last time I built a computer was shortly after I moved to my current apartment. I didn’t mod a thing. I didn’t feel like it and I don’t think I was able to do any painting or other radical mods because of my physical limitations. I’m okay with that now and I don’t need to prove to you or me that I can mod a system. I miss doing it, but it is no longer a priority. I am not saying goodbye to modding, but I don’t embrace it like I used to and very rarely spend any time thinking or writing about it.

A modded computer published in a magazine is off the list. More important things to do. This is a good thing, not a negative. But if any of you reading this has any questions about modding your own machine, I would be happy to offer my opinion. It may not be worth much these days, but it would mean a lot to me.

Now, let’s see if there’s any other house cleaning I can do in regards to that bucket list.

My health has deteriorated, as is expected with a disease that is chronic and has no cure. But they adjust my medication levels and even changed some of the inhalers. To be able to go and do the things I like to do, I get around on a Segway and even take it into stores and restaurants when I need to. I’ll talk more about the Seg in another post, but I am mobile.

When I look at my Other Foot List, I realize much of that has changed now. Again, more about that later, in a revised list. It’s true that some things change and some stay the same. I am trying to go with the flow. I was depressed and closed myself off from the world for a very long time, except when I absolutely had to do something. But I feel like something happened a few weeks ago and now I am more excited about this life than ever before.

I’ll expound on that more, as I keep saying, later and in other posts. I wanted to get this message out to you though – I’m not dead yet. I don’t fear the inevitable as much as I did and I am willing to try to make the transition as much fun and interesting as possible. Thanks for hangin’ with me.

This is born from a homework assignment my shrink gave me to do this week. I gotta mention now that during our first meeting, she said she didn’t give out homework assignments. I wonder if I should be concerned that she lied to me and saddled me with this project on only our 3rd meeting? Naw. My feeling is she knew it’s what I needed to do. I was doing nothing but complaining, rambling and being entirely discombobulated. There was no focus. Maybe this will help me realign myself.

I Decided to make the list public by putting it here on my blog. It serves a bonus purpose of adding some interesting content to one of my websites, which I had also complained about a lack of inspiration in doing. So, let me get to it.

My Other Foot List

1.) Move into a nice house with a yard and a deck.

If I don’t get to do anything else, I would like to have a little house, where I don’t have to worry about the neighbors hearing my noises in the bathroom, or the landlord next door banging on my wall when I play my Maroon 5 CD. It doesn’t have to be big and fancy, but more than the 440 square foot apartment I have now would be nice. A little yard that my dog, Loomis, could enjoy and a small deck I could sit out on to get some sun and throw the occasional stick for Loomis.

2.) Go to a Maroon 5 concert.

Maybe you hadn’t noticed, these guys are my new favorite band. You might think going to a concert was no special thing, but it is to me. I haven’t been to a concert for many years and now that I have the time, I don’t have the money. And Maroon 5′s concerts are so far away from me that I would have to drive a long distance and do the whole lodging and restaurants thing – a lot more money. But I can see me dancing on my Segway while experiencing the magic they make with their music.

3.) Be a guest on the Ellen DeGeneres Show.

Who doesn’t want to be on TV? There’s a few talk/variety shows I like and I got to wondering, if I could only be on one of them, I think it would have to be Ellen. I admire her not only for her wonderful humor, but for the adversity she has been through and her great and kind heart. I used to be able to dance pretty good and every time I see Ellen dance through her audience, I wish I could be there to experience that. And, selfishly, I want so much for my flooring website to be very popular to do-it-yourselfers and flooring professionals all over the world, I would hope for an opportunity to plug it on her show.

4.) Attend Surfaces (flooring convention) in Las Vegas.

Surfaces is one of the largest flooring conventions in the world. I have gone a number of times. The members of The Floor Pro Community sent me there a year ago and one of them arranged to have a Segway donated to me so I could traverse the miles of exhibits in an upright position. Unfortunately, the security team there decided my Segway was a danger to the visitors and made me use a sit-down cart. The cart got stuck trying to get into a restroom and I managed to run over several toes and bump into a few displays. Donations have been way down on my flooring site, but I do want to go again – this time using my Segway. I feel I need to attend to help make other flooring manufacturers and organizations aware of the support we offer to the industry.

5.) Lead a Segway tour of part of The Pacific Crest Trail.

And parts of my beautiful home town, Quincy, California. After returning from Vietnam, I worked for a short time in a training program for the U.S. Forest Service. During part of those months, we built 3 miles of the Pacific Crest Trail. It was hard work, but it was a wonderful experience. I’d love to re-live part of that by taking some fellow Segway gliders, especially those who use them as mobility aides, on a trail glide. I’d like it to include a short tour of the historic and scenic areas of Quincy.

6.) Get a college degree.

In and out of college through the 70s and a couple more half-hearted attempts in the 80s, I never got so much as an AA degree. I don’t know how many credits I need, but I would like to be able to say I completed something as important as a formal education. There are some courses I might find interesting too. And, if things haven’t changed too much since my last class, them college girls are pretty damn cute.

7.) Customize my minivan and win a prize in a car show.

I’ve owned lots of vehicles over the years and have even been the proud owner of a 1965 Ford Thunderbird for the last 8 years, but my real pride and joy on 4 wheels has been my 2001 Chrysler Town and Country. I managed to do a few modifications to it, including a cat-back system, hot plugs and wires, some great wheels and tires. I even installed a beautiful, deep blue cable shag carpet throughout. But there’s so much more I would love to be able to do. Lower it a couple inches, have a flared ground effects system installed, custom grill with matching cowl work, molded in backup lights and a really sweet paint job. No, I don’t want a hot-rockin’ babe magnet van from the 70s. I want a daily driver that drives like a sports car, looks very cool, but is durable and practical – and a show winner.

8.) Do a great computer mod that is featured in a computer magazine. NOTE: This is now OFF the list.

I’ve actually done this and it’s a wonderful feeling. I just want to do it one more time. The thing is, most of the current crop of computer mods are gaming rigs and look like space ships or comic book super heroes. I like elegance, style – something an executive would want to put on their desk, or use as part of their home entertainment system. A little chrome, some exotic woods, subtle lighting and great performance from an easy to service platform. I kinda like a mixture of Moderne and Art Nouveau.

9.) Go to the largest computer gear exposition in the West.

My passion for computers goes back to 1992, but I have never once made it to a big computer trade show. There have been some almosts, but no been there’s and done that’s. There is a very nice one, I hear, in Las Vegas, called CES. It’s right around the time that Surfaces (flooring convention) is held. Maybe with the right kind of luck, enough money and a laptop to manage my websites, I could do an extended stay – the vacation I’ve never had.

10.) Attend the biggest and best auto exposition in the USA.

SEMA. Also in Las Vegas. Usually in November. Trouble is, it’s for the trade professionals only – or the media. I wonder if I could get in as a correspondent of some sort? I am associated with a car club. Maybe Ellen would want to send me there to do a “sneak peek” report on the great new vehicles coming. I’d settle for a really nice car show in a hot location like LA, San Francisco, even Modesto. I just love being around all those beautiful cars.

That’s my bucket list… er, My Other Foot List. Some of these aren’t so far fetched. I might be able to do some of them before my time is up here. The doc says I have a couple 2 or three years (“maybe”), so there’s certainly time enough to try to make these come true. I’ll let you know how it goes.

I get to take long, leisurely showers now… Not because I have the time or inclination, of course, but because I don’t have much choice. I get out of breath just washing my hair.

Friends and family wait on me hand and foot… Not because I am so dynamic and popular, but because I can no longer do some of the things I used to take for granted.

I got to spend a little time laying around in bed with these really cool wires attached to me after a heart attack, caused by a low level of oxygen saturation in my blood.

One of the best things of all is the really cool back pack I get to wear every day now.

Had I got interested in hiking and jogging when I was a punk kid, I coulda had one a these things filled with my favorite beverage. Which prob’ly woulda meant I mighta quit smoking sooner to devote more interest in that healthy pastime. But noooooo, I gotta wait ’til I hafta wear one of these things — with a canister of oxygen insteada water.

On top of that, I got some horse pills an’ these inhaler things (4 different ones) I have to do 4 times a day — one is Albuterol and an AeroChamber. It’s so funny that it looks like I’m taking big ol’ hits off a dope pipe, which I haven’t done in 20 years. I can hardly wait for the first time a cop sees me do it out of the corner of his eye. Talk about déjà vu.

And the pill cutter… what th’ heck is that all about? Can’t they make a smaller pill? I gotta have this guillotine type instrument – an’ I already cut my finger once!

Yeah, man, that suicide on the installment plan is really startin’ ta pay off now. They keep tellin’ me, “quality of life”. This is real quality, I tell ya. The good news is I only have to go through it for another 2 or 3 years (according to the eviction notice I got from my doctor a couple weeks ago).

Lest you think I have sunk to my lowest ebb, I am not giving up. I am still trying to be as active as I can. I am trying to lose some weight (gained 80 pounds when I quit smoking – at 258 now) so I don’t put such a strain on my Segway, which I have to use if I wanna go more than 50′ without a car. I do love building my professional and special interest websites – The Floor Pro Community, enterpriseJM and Grump’s Place among several others.

It’s not my intention to gain your sympathy here. Some people seem to be absolutely clueless about the rights of all humans to live free of unnecessary and involuntary danger. Yeah, I lived in danger for many years, but I have the right to be free of it now. My lung disease is significantly advanced compared to a lot of other people.

There’s prob’ly millions of people who recognized (or maybe not yet) that smoking was damaging their lungs and hearts and they are able to walk around without the aid of o2, inhalers and pills. But they still suffer every time some dolt blows smoke their way thinking they have the right to.

The fact is, far too many people don’t use common sense or have the slightest consideration for others. I sure didn’t as a smoker, a dope head or a selfish and self-centered punk kid. So, it’s guys like me that suffer because we don’t want the little bit of time we have left to be shortened even 2 minutes because someone else feels like havin’ a smoke. We might need laws that tell smokers when and where they can light up. It’s either that or guys like me will just bust their heads open with the ugly end of an oxygen tank. Whata they gonna do, give me free room and board in a hospital for a few more years?

Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em. Just do it where the rest of us don’t have to breathe your left-overs.

Tonight was QUITE different. Maroon5 and It Won’t Be Soon Before Long made the difference. I’ll admit that what initially prompted me to give a listen – or at least wait to see them walk on stage – was the very stylish album cover (us old folks still call ‘em albums – they’re CDs and even smaller an’ shinier than my old 45′s) – go ‘head, give it a click to see the larger version. I know, that’s a pretty weird reason to decide to listen to a group, but I’ve made flimsier decisions than that, ya know. So, the end of the show comes around (by the way, pretty stiff and boring Katie Holmes was and that was a lousy impersonation of Letterman that Frank Caliendo did) and the Maroon 5 were introduced. Right away I noticed it: no screaming. Really, you know what I’m talkin’ about. These guys were smooth. I was tappin’ away on my computer, ferget doin’ what, and I just had to stop. It was a very fresh and clean sound.

This music coming from Maroon 5 is amazing. I know that my taste in music has always run toward pop and dance music, but lately, maybe because I’ve done more reminiscing, I’ve been listening to some of the stuff I enjoyed in my youth. That’s what old folks do, right? But ol’ Dave brought me right back to the here an’ now. Even with the poor sound equipment his producers saddle the musical talent with, these guys sounded very good. So, geek that I am (‘course I waited ’til their set was over), I googled them. Yeah, that’s a verb now.

The Maroon 5 website isn’t as nice as their music. It’s Adobe Flash based and doesn’t function well – no “tool-tips” to tell you what’s what and the worst, no volume control. But the best part is their top tune, “Won’t Go Home Without You” started playin’ right away. I love DSL. It’s the same piece they played on the Letterman show and it really has a much better sound quality. This song has a crisp, but gentle beat and melodic lyrics. The chorus is smooth, so much unlike all that harsh screaming I’ve heard and stumbled over shit trying to get to the volume knob. I found myself bouncing my feet and tapping on my thigh just like I did so long, long ago.

As “…Without You” faded off, I nervously anticipated the next song. You know, you’ve been through it before… a great song turns into the only good thing that group ever did and the rest is kee-rap. Not Maroon 5. These guys got lots more music in them. Up was “Wake Up Call“, a lively tune that really had me wishin’ I could still dance. Well, I can, but only for about 20 seconds an’ then I’m grabbin’ for the rescue inhaler. This tune was one a them you just gotta move to though and I did my best. I pulled the oxygen on and kept playin’ my legs like an old drum kit.

They don’t have every song of the CD on their online player, but the five tracks they do have are enough to sell me. You can get their album through iTunes, or at Amazon.com and either place will let you listen before you buy. Of course, the best listenting is at the Maroon5 website. They have links to iTunes, Amazon.com and several other places you might find interesting (‘course, I am an Amazon affiliate partner and it helps me if you buy the music – or anything – by clicking the links to Amazon I provide here). I tried to join their forum, but they don’t like me, I guess. Couldn’t get much to work there. So, I stole some graphics and high-tailed it outa there. Hope you like what I did with them.

Jim with 1 Foot OUT of the Grave tonight.

The method is called a “float.” You would think it might be called a wrap, but no, I didn’t get to be on the naming committee. I’ll describe the method of doing this so that anyone coding an HTML page can do the same. You can use this method in any HTML document, it doesn’t have to be WordPress. There is a shortcut to this method for those using WordPress, so keep reading, I’ll get to it soon.

Although you can use floats for text boxes and other things, I’m only going to be talking about images and graphics. You can code the image using in-line styling, or you can put the CSS in with the rest of your CSS file. The in-line code for the image might look something like this:

<img style=”float:left; margin:0 6px 2px 0; padding:4px;” src=”http://1footinthegrave.com/images/genesee010-tn.jpg” alt=”barn” />Blah, bla, blah…

The text you enter after that will now float to the right side of the image, beginning at the top and wrapping under it. The “float:left” attribute tells the image to go to the left side of its container. The “margin” code tells the browser how much space to put around the image to give it a little elbow room. In this case, it is telling it to display text zero pixels from the top (you do not need to use the designator “px” when the value is zero – zero is zero no matter if you’re talking about pixels or miles), 6 pixels from the right side, 2 pixels from the bottom and zero from the left side. Margin values are given clockwise – top, right, bottom and left. Think of margins as the space around the outside of the object. Padding is the space around the inside edges. The image above has a padding statement of 4px. In margins and padding, you can state one value that applies to all sides. You can adjust the spacing by changing the values to what suits you.

Here is another image that floats to the right of the text. The code still falls at the beginning of a new line and your text is still typed right after it (no space, just type). You can see the differences in the code by studying it below.

<img style=”float:right; margin:0 0 2px 6px; padding:4px;” src=”http://1footinthegrave.com/images/4goofballs-tn.jpg” alt=”friends” />Yadda yadda, blah…

Note that I changed the values of the margin so that the space would now be on the left side of the image instead of the right. You can use this styling for other things, as I mentioned. But it’s a lot simpler if you add the CSS to your CSS file instead of styling it in-line. Many WordPress themes already have this code in their CSS and all you have to do is set a class attribute in the image. The code I have in my style sheet is as follows:

img.alignright { padding: 4px; margin: 0 0 2px 6px; }
img.alignleft { padding: 4px; margin: 0 6px 2px 0; }
.alignright { float: right; }
.alignleft { float: left }

You should check your theme’s CSS file to see what you have that is similar. The image of me and my friends can now be coded like this:

<img class=”alignright” src=”http://1footinthegrave.com/images/4goofballs-tn.jpg” alt=”friends” />Yackity, yak, yak…

As you can see, there’s a lot less code to write.

For you WordPress users, posting images is much easier. There is a price, however, because you can’t choose to make your thumbnail images a different size whenever you want. Them that likes the simplicity of it though, can use the “upload” feature inside your editor. Browse to the image on your computer you want, give it a title, add a description if you want and click upload. You then select from several options, one being to display a thumbnail image, and tell it to add it to your editor. You will have to move the graphic or image to the location in your post that you want it – just a little cut & paste work. Finally, you add the float declaration to align the image on the left or right side. Here you see a graphic I designed as the logo for my flooring message board for professionals and do-it-yourselfers.

You may have already noticed that you can see larger versions of my images appear before your very eyes when you click them. That is a fancy plug-in I found at WordPress – just do a search for “Lightbox” there and you’ll find it. For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, one of the nice things about that plug-in is, if it doesn’t work for the user’s browser settings, it will just link to a larger image. You can click the back button to return to the page.

I hope this tutorial has helped a few. I tried not to be so overwhelming with the technical jargon in hopes that most can understand it better. I remember what it was like when I first started to learn this kind of stuff. If you have questions or comments, just add them below.

Jim with 1 Foot in the Grave