Online Dating vs Real World Dating

Millions of people have tried using online dating websites to meet that special someone, but in the past few years the reputation of online dating has taken some hits as people have expressed disappointment in their results. It seems they have great results in finding platonic friendships, but romantic attachments are harder to find online.

A recent Harvard study may shed light on why. A recent study, done in part at MIT and Harvard by Jeana Frost and others, revealed the crucial difference between searching for particular traits and actually experiencing a date. Their study, entitled “People are Experience Goods: Improving Online Dating With Virtual Dates,” concluded that the actual experience of interacting with members of the opposite sex was crucial to deciding if there was a chemistry that would indicate future romantic success.

Searching for common interests and key traits like similar backgrounds, physical characteristics you find attractive, income, etc. is fine for narrowing the field when you join an online dating community, but it’s much harder to quantify attributes like a sense of humor or love of the arts. If someone says they are passionate about the environment, you can’t judge whether their level of dedication to the environment is on par with yours until you’ve actually interacted with them and exchanged your views. This is where virtual dating takes online dating to the next level. It gives online dating members the opportunity to truly interact in a virtual environment where they can talk, laugh, flirt and react to a complete virtual environment around them.

Currently there are very few online dating services offering this unique service, but the TangoWire network will be launching Virtual Dating on over 3,700 sites in April. They anticipate Virtual Dating will be one of their most popular features in 2010.

What Virtual Dating Brings To The Dating Game

The Harvard study revealed that about half of those who participated in online dating felt they couldn’t accurately predict certain traits they were looking for in potential partners based on descriptions or traits such as “sense of humor” because these are such subjective traits.

Someone might say they have a great sense of humor, but if a man’s sense of humor is very physically based and a woman has a very intellectual sense of humor, they won’t be a good match. A virtual date would give them the opportunity to see if they share a similar sense of humor.

Virtual dating gives individuals the opportunity to experience all of the crucial but intangible elements that make up a true connection. These are the emotional, subjective qualities of attraction that can’t be described or quantified but are tied to feelings and instinct. The only way to judge these qualities are to actually experience them by interacting with the other person. Virtual dating lets you do this.

Virtual Dating is Much More Than Chat

But how is virtual dating different from simply entering a chat room and talking to someone? Virtual dating is a virtual reality experience that creates a virtual environment where you interact directly with the other person in a total environment that closely matches a real world dating experience. You have an avatar representing your own personality and will meet and interact with an avatar representing the other person, allowing both of you to show emotion, react to the other person’s speech and body language, and interact and react within the virtual setting.

Imagine walking along the beach on a virtual date. The setting gives you plenty of openings for conversation as you observe the beautiful scenery and watch the people around you. You can decide what to do next, talk about what beaches you’ve been to in the past, whether you want to swim, relax on the sand, find a nice beach front restaurant, or watch the sunset. In a virtual environment, there’s never an awkward pause in the conversation because there’s always something to talk about, unlike being in an empty chat room. Moving through a virtual environment gives you the feeling of being in the real world, and all of your senses come into play, from body language to the sounds and sights around you. Additional options such as virtual games and music can reveal common interests.

What Can You Learn From Virtual Dating?

Have You Been Exchanging e-mails with some interesting men or women through your online dating service? Are you toying with the idea of taking things to the next level but you aren’t sure if you’re ready to meet all of them in person? Virtual dating is the perfect solution, allowing you to experience each person in a safe, dating environment that’s controlled yet fun. Consider this:

• Virtual dating lets you carry on conversations that will reveal things like sense of humor, conversational ability and personality quirks.
• The virtual reality setting can open up interesting discussions based on your surroundings.
• If you decide to move on to a real world date, you will be much more comfortable because you’ve already met on a virtual date.
• Share games, music and interests you both enjoy through virtual activities to create a bond you can carry into the real world.
• Most people found that a virtual date was an extremely accurate indicator of whether they would enjoy the other person’s company in real life. Profiles, emails, and even chat weren’t as accurate.

The Harvard/MIT study concluded that virtual dating can serve two crucial functions for individuals searching for relationships online. First, it can help you more accurately find someone who is compatible with you because it is based on experiential criteria rather than a simple list of traits or survey questions. Second, virtual dating is often an accurate predictor of whether you will be satisfied with the person when you meet them in the real world. It’s obvious there are many advantages to virtual dating. Isn’t it time you joined the TangoWire Network and gave Virtual Dating a try yourself?

Harvard Study on VDates

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Virtual Dating launches on over 3,700 sites on the TangoWire network with Free vDate Thursday.

April 5, 2010 – TangoWire, a community of Online Dating sites, recently announced the addition of  Virtual Dating to its network of services with Free virtual dating this Thursday. Virtual dating allows individuals to meet each other in a virtual world before committing to that first real world date, getting to know the person behind the profile in an interactive environment that allows for a unique, interactive experience that goes far beyond chatting or instant messaging.

A group of Harvard and MIT researchers studied virtual and online dating, and found that the online dater’s reaction is more positive towards individuals whom they have Virtually Dated than towards those whose profiles they have just read and that these effects carry forward through an initial face-to-face meeting. They found, in fact, that those who had virtual dates were twice as likely to have more than one offline date.

Shaun Wolfe, CEO at TangoWire, explained, “We’re very excited about bringing Virtual Dating to our members. This fills a serious gap on the online dating experience by having a more meaningful interaction with another person before commitment to a real-world meeting. It is a safe and effective ‘next step’.”

On April 8, 2010, the tab is on TangoWire with “Free vDate Thursday.” Every member of the TangoWire community of sites will be able to go on as many Virtual Dates as they want without paying an additional fee. Free vDate Thursday encourages members to take control and initiate virtual dates for free with other singles, increasing their chance at finding love. Singles that participate in virtual dates can get to know each other by listening to music, playing conversation provoking games and interacting through life-like, 3D avatars. The avatars will even respond to the text that is typed, providing an enjoyable, interactive experience. Type “LOL,” and your avatar laughs, hit the smile button and they smile; you can even kiss your date if it is going really well – and they give you permission, of course.

The vDate feature adds to TangoWire’s already significant array of member features, including instant messaging, email and vGifting. Virtual Dating has been proclaimed by Scientific American researchers as the next generation of online dating. However, it is still fairly unique among dating sites and TangoWire is excited to be one of the first mainstream networks in the industry to offer it to their members. According to a recent study by Harvard University, Virtual dating establishes a greater rapport between couples that continues after they meet in real life, making it a valuable tool for singles looking for real-life relationships.

—About TangoWire—
TangoWire is an online dating network of over 3,700 websites accessing hundreds of online dating

Harvard Study on VDates

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So, you want to take the initiative this time and want to surprise your girlfriend /wife / lover with your foreplay skills. But then again, you realize that foreplay hasn’t been your ‘thing’ lately and you’re not sure what to do…

Well, lucky you! I’ve compiled these hot foreplay tips you can use ASAP so that you can have her breathing hard and lusting for your touch tonight!

Hot Tips for Sexual Foreplay

Sometimes, foreplay can be a disaster if you don’t know what you’re doing. For instance, you may have seen movies where he ‘tweaks’ her nipples… HARD. Well guys, you know what? That HURTS and you’re not really arousing her that way. So to guide your naughty thoughts, take heed of my foreplay tips below!

Don’t forget her neck. Often, guys think of foreplay as ‘kissing’ and making love as ‘having sex’. Sorry guys, that’s way too simple for us girls. So during foreplay, don’t just kiss her thoroughly, pay attention too to other female body parts such as her neck, arms, legs, and even her feet. Alternate between kissing, licking and nibbling these areas and she’ll be putty in your hands in no time.

Mentally ‘sex her up’.

It’s a fact. Guys go for visual stuff while women like to be mentally put ‘in the mood’. So if you’re planning for some hot sex tonight, start foreplay early during the day so she’s already in the mood by the time you reach for her at home.

For example, if you guys are standing on line for something, get close to her and whisper something REALLY DIRRRTY into her ear! Important: paint her a picture in her head. So don’t just say “I’m going to fuck you tonight”. Instead, say “You know babe, I’m horny now so when we get back home, I will lick your clit so good that…” I think you get my drift by now…

Learn how to master this and many other techniques. Go to: Female Orgasms Revealed

Dry hump her.

In its most generic sense, foreplay is all about ‘increasing the sexual tension’ so that you and your partner are uber-primed for the sexual act itself. Well, what’s more arousing than imitating intercourse movements (humping) than doing it with clothes on! Preferably, do this in a public place or in a club. Basically, do it where you cannot proceed to doing intercourse. This way, you guys will be h-h-hot for sex later!

Slow dance… while butt-naked. Ok, this time foreplay without clothes! You can just be half-dressed or completely naked for this one. Put on some slow and/or lusty music, dim the lights, light some candles, take some or all of your clothes off and start swaying to the music. Remember that the trick here is to dance close to her body so that she can feel your erection against her. Hot!

Go ‘under the table’.

I just love sharing experiences from subscribers and here’s another one. One time, while Jill (subscriber name changed for privacy) and her husband were having dinner, they were getting a bit naughty and started to ‘play footsie’ under the table. This then proceeded to her fully extending her leg and with her foot, she started playing with his penis through his pants. What happened next shocked her…

Without warning, he went under the table, spread her legs, pulled down her shorts and tongued her! Jill swears the foreplay and the suddenness of his moves was the hottest sex and the best orgasm she ever had!

Try this one tonight and don’t worry if she’s wearing pants. Just rub your face against her mound and it will turn her so horny SHE will start to bring her pants down.

Read more about how to master these techniques at: Female Orgasms Revealed

Tease her till the very end. No, the fact that she has her clothes off does NOT mean it’s intercourse time. You can extend foreplay to the very end and bring her to delirious lust by using the head of your penis to tease her throbbing vagina. Just rub your the point of your manhood all over her vagina – especially her clit – and trust me, she’ll go wild with passion!

I hope you thoroughly enjoy these foreplay tips! Just remember to vary your ‘foreplay moves’. Otherwise, everything becomes routine again! So for example, tonight, tease her from head to toe with your kissing, licking and nibbling and then next time, just go directly to her clit and lick away. This way, you’re Mr. Surprise and foreplay and sex with you is the best experience she’ll ever have.

Enjoy!

To learn more HOT tips to satisfy your lover in bed tonight, go to: Female Orgasms Revealed

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By G

Oh, the naïve memories of romantic fairytales! What little girl didn’t get to hear these stories from a mother at bedtime?  I know I heard enough of them, and when I could read independently, I read every Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and Snow White type of story I could find. As I would drift to sleep, I had dreams of a kind prince, (handsome too, of course!), who was there to help make my every dream come true.  My childhood dreams were vague, but perhaps you can nod in agreement with me when I say my sketch of my prince got much clearer the older I got. My prince was far more than simply kind; this prince had an amazing drive and career to go with it.  Handsome? This guy defined male hotness.  Realizing I could not find or keep a prince of this caliber without work, I was vigilant to stay in shape, remain fashionable, and have a solid education and career of my own. I have no idea the dreams of boys for their future princesses, but I wanted to be certain I was going to meet most of their criteria.

So, eventually, I found my prince; he didn’t fulfill every requirement on my list, but the prince was a decent guy. And what was the end to the story? The prince and princess got together and lived happily ever after.  I’m laughing now as I admit the usual fairytale ending isn’t even close.  What happened? Let’s say there was one thing I left off of the list.

Blame me if you want, but fairytales don’t say anything about sex; it would be a little awkward to add a nooky portion to Cinderella, right?  Everyone assumes the prince and princess have the bedroom business down to an art. No one told me the sorts of sexual desires I should have on list for my dream prince.  Pardon my bluntness, but I should have added the prince had better be able to handle amazing foreplay without needing a PowerPoint slide show for directions.  The prince should also have more than two sexual positions in his bag of tricks. (To be fair to the guys out there, there are some women out there who might also need such advice.) What does a princess do when the prince is not even close to making the magic happen?  She could leave the castle for the next stud on a steed, but bailing is hasty, especially if the rest of the relationship is solid.  Princesses, adjust those crowns because you can be the one to rescue the relationship from a little boredom in the bedroom.

We princesses often wait for the prince to turn the passion to the high setting. This is no time to be passive! This is also when men adore women to be assertive.  Don’t lose your mind trying to figure out a way to pay for a vacation get away for this guy.  Extravagance is not going to be the answer. Creativity is the main ingredient for turning ‘nodding off’ sex into ‘getting off’ sex.  If a girl turns her brain to the on position, her libido will follow.

To begin with, I have to refer to an illicit affair for my example. I am not suggesting an affair is a good idea, but think about how illicit relationships start and how much excitement is involved. Having been in an affair before, I do have knowledge of why the forbidden is desirable, but the heartache is also devastating. Part of the reason I am giving hints for all of those bored princesses out there is so no one needs to experience the negative part of an affair. However, if a princess is yawning too often during sex, she is at risk for stepping outside of her relationship for physical attention from another man.  You want to have this sort of sexual energy with your existing relationship.  Remember when I stated the rest of your relationship is solid? This advice is for you.

If you have seen a movie with a couple involved in an affair, rarely is there a romantic, expensive get-away.  Think of the movie, Fatal Attraction, when Glenn Close and Michael Douglas have sex that would make a porn star blush in an old elevator. Usually, affairs thrive on surprises, not extravagance.  Some of the princes out there simply do not know how to step beyond the regular daily pattern. He comes home, eats dinner, watches television, and once or twice a week before he falls asleep, he kisses his wife’s cheek and does his missionary style moves.  Were you reaching for a trashcan? I know I was.  Princess, you have to shake things up a little because princes are often not very creative. For a simple starter, shortly after he gets home, be spontaneous and whisper in your man’s ear how you would like dessert before dinner and sneak a quickie in the bathroom.  You don’t have to say any ridiculous porn movie lines, but you are breaking the dull pattern by a sweet suggestion. Unless your man is really hopeless, it will be as thrilling for him as it is for you.

Affairs take planning. Schedules have to be in a perfect alignment for two cheaters to be able to keep their affair undetected.  Try to imagine the intense heat you are going to create by calling your man at work and telling him you would like to make love to him that evening. Send a text message to remind him you cannot wait to give him head after the kids are asleep.  I almost can guarantee Mr. Prince will be the most helpful in getting dishes done and children into their beds so he can have what’s on your itinerary. Like I said, it isn’t extravagant, but this planning gets the mundane out of the lovemaking. Most princesses have believed planned sex with their prince will be nerdy. I know several couples who have been married for over a decade who have a schedule sex night each week and have had the ritual for years. Does it sound stale? On the contrary! Every couple I have talked to about this scheduled sex night has said it leads to the best sex, hands down.  They can have spontaneous sex any other time, but they look so forward to a night for the two of them to connect, they can barely keep their hands off of one another.

It might sound a little contradictory to suggest planning and spontaneity as two strategies to reignite a lame lovemaking routine, but these can work well.  Can’t hurt to try, can it? After you try these two simple ideas, maybe your prince will begin to work his way out of the mind numbing sex and try some novel, sexy ideas of his own.  Imagine how good it will feel to be on your way to happily ever after without needing a PowerPoint for inspiration.

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Some background on me. I’ve been working on my game for a few years now. I concentrated very much on indirect club game when I started, but as I grew and developed I discovered a love for Direct Game and Day Game.

Where I stand now is that I like doing night game as well, but Day Game will always be my first love. I have met two of the most incredible girlfriends that I have loved most in my life through Day Game, have had countless dates as a result of daytime number closes, have taken girls home the same day I’ve met them, and brought group of girls I’ve met in the day back to my place.

I’ve stopped using routines and now flow naturally from my heart. I have enormous respect for routines and I teach my students to use routines if I think they need them. Ultimately though, I have practiced so many routines that I now create them on the spot (which in a way is what being natural is about). I don’t do takeaways, I don’t disqualify, I don’t tease. I escalate shamelessly, hard and fast, whilst simultaneously making sure the girl feels as comfortable and safe as possible.

Though I meet girls in night game, I enjoy the variety of girls you can meet in the daytime, the ease with which you can talk to them (bitch shields are WAY down in the day), and the way you can brighten up a beautiful woman’s day unexpectedly.

In some ways, Day Game follows the same structure as any other type of game. But people are always asking me questions about how things are different between night and day game. So here are the main differences and how to get around them as I see it.

1. Guys generally get more approach anxiety approaching girls in the daytime than they do at night.

People always think, “Isn’t it weird to approach girls in the day? Aren’t they busy? Aren’t they going to tell you to go away?” The truth is it’s no less weird than approaching people you don’t know to talk to them in a bar. I used to think girls were going to react really badly, when in fact, they probably react better in the daytime than they do at night. At night, they expect guys to be drunk and hit on them, but in the daytime, it happens to them much less often and thus they are impressed by your confidence and willingness to take risks. Like all approach anxiety, the only way to overcome this is to man up and go approach them!

2. Direct openers are much more necessary in Day Game than night game.

There are a lot of venue considerations in Day Game (see below), but in many situations, particularly in street game, it can come across as really bizarre to stop a random girl and ask her opinion on something. In a bar, you could feasibly be having a conversation with your mates, and want to ask someone nearby their opinion, but in the daytime it comes across as less congruent. Direct openers work fantastically well on the street, e.g. “Excuse me, I just saw you walking past and thought you looked absolutely beautiful! I know this is really forward of me but I just had to say hello. How are you?” Direct Openers are also massively important for moving sets. Contrary to what most people think, it is ridiculously easy to stop moving sets (most of my sets are girls walking past me), you just need to be committed enough to your Direct opener. When you open a moving set, stop, plant yourself right on the ground where you are and deliver the opener. Do NOT start moving as they are moving, wait for them to stop. If they don’t stop, it will be creepy to follow them.

3. Day Game involves a greater variety of venues than night game. These venues are mainly differentiated by the levels of Social Pressure they involve.

You have the streets (my favourite), cafés, bookstores, art galleries, college campuses etc. Every venue or situation is slightly different, so you will need to develop good social calibration so you don’t creep girls out. The biggest factor to be aware of is Social Pressure. The more other people can listen to your interaction with a woman, the higher the Social Pressure will be, and the more potentially uncomfortable the girl will feel. In high social pressure situations, your job is three-fold. First, don’t go too Direct, either open indirectly or tone down your Direct opener (e.g. “That’s a lovely dress, how you doing?”). Second, have a strong frame of feeling comfortable in the interaction. The strongest frame always wins: You feeling comfortable talking to her will make her relax. If you are nervous, she will start to feel uncomfortable. The truth is, feeling this comfortable only comes with time and practice. But remember, she can’t see how you feel inside, only how you act on the outside. Third, make her laugh. If you can tease her or otherwise make her laugh within the first thirty seconds of the interaction, she will instantly relax – the interaction is then suddenly a fun bit of banter with a stranger instead of being accosted by some creepy guy on the subway.

4. Super hot girls are MUCH easier to open in the daytime.

You know how the super hot girls get hit on a lot in bars and clubs? There is one reason why: Alcohol. It normally starts happening after everyone is liquored up. In the sober light of day (and without all their buddies to back up their testosterone levels), most guys are shit scared of the uber hottie walking down the street. They will gawp at her, but God forbid they summon the stones to go up to her and say hello. Direct game works really well in the daytime with super hotties. You’ll be surprised at how many of them will turn around to you and say, “Oh my God, that’s so nice of you, no one has ever stopped me on the street to say that!”

5. You can get into Comfort much more quickly in Day Game than night game.

The fact that you have approached her in the daytime already demonstrates a lot of value; if you went Direct (good on ya!), then this is even more pronounced. Attraction building should happen in a matter of minutes. As soon as she’s laughing and enjoying the interaction, stop thinking about attraction and start thinking about qualifying and building comfort. You’ll need to escalate things as part of this. The easiest way to escalate the interaction on the street is to ask her which way she is headed, and suggest that you walk with her for a few minutes to chat. You can add in a, “I don’t want go dress shopping or anything like that with you though – that would be kinda gay – so I’ll probably head off in a few minutes!” This works exactly like a false time constraint. You are reducing the pressure in the situation.

6. Day Game approaches are often less expected by women and can take them by surprise.

This is a double edged sword. On the one hand, as mentioned above it causes guys to have more anxiety when daytime approaching, and they sometimes equate the surprise that girls will get with her being weirded out. On the other hand, because she is surprised, you have just spiked her emotions and therefore, if you run the interaction well, this turns into a massive positive for you. Not to mention that fact that very rarely do guys approach women on the street, so when you do approach her she will be more impressed and more likely to remember you positively (therefore LESS likely to flake than a night game set). The best way to handle the surprise/shock factor she may experience (especially if you use a Direct opener) is to acknowledge the situation, e.g. “I know this is really forward of me… but I was going to regret it all day if I didn’t stop you and say hello,” or, “This is very bold of me, but I thought you looked absolutely stunning, and I don’t believe in letting opportunities pass you by.”

7. It is harder to get a Same Day Lay than a Same Night Lay.

The reason why this is true is because of logistics, not because of social conventions (which is what you might have expected). If your game is good enough, you can bend social conventions to your whim, but once you get good, the biggest problem you spend most of your time overcoming is logistics. The fact is, girls will tend to be more busy and in the middle of doing other things in the daytime, so often you will only be able to take a phone number, build some comfort, and then move on. However, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be on the lookout for Same Day Lays!! In the ideal situation, you meet the girl and take her on a series of venue changes than end up back at your place. More commonly, there will be an “interrupt”, where she has to go home to eat or meet friends etc. In these cases you can still try to get her to come out to a party with you that night. Guys, you need to get out of the mentality that Day Game is just about taking phone numbers: You are trying to seduce these women not just get their digits. Set up the instant date if you can (e.g. take her for a coffee, then a drink, then a walk, then your place), or arrange to meet her later that day if you can. As mentioned above though, this all depends on what else she has got going on that day. Welcome to the wonderful world of logistical management!

8. You often have less time to demonstrate value to the girl than in night game.

Some girls you open will be in a rush to get somewhere, just about to meet friends, or may not have the time or inclination to talk to a random (albeit fun and interesting) stranger in the middle of the day. Because you are not in a bar, chances are she is not going to see you talking to other people (i.e. no opportunity for social proof). In the daytime therefore, you typically have a very small window of opportunity to make a good first impression: You must present yourself as well as humanly possible. Leave the house ready to meet women. Wear nice clothes, style your hair, and wear good shoes (don’t wear your tatty trainers, homeboy). All of these things will encourage her to response positively to her when you stop her in the middle of the street.

9. Groups of women seem more difficult to approach even though they really are not.

It is not true that you can’t run Direct Game on groups of women, and it is not true that you can’t open groups of women in the daytime. Your strategy with a group should be either to pull all of them to another venue with you (typically again, there will be an interrupt, but you can invite them somewhere later that night), or to open the girl you want, build some comfort with the whole group (so they approve of you and allow you to pick up the girl you want), and then start escalating with your chosen girl. Escalation in front of the group might be as simple as taking her number, finding out some stuff about her and qualifying her a little.

This of course is not everything there is to know about Day Game, but I’ve covered some of the most salient points here that I think a lot of people miss about this fine art.

The most important thing guys, is to take action. I have gone out with so many people who excel in night game, but choke in the daytime. You need to be willing to take action TODAY, not tomorrow, not the day after. Procrastination is the world’s greatest sin. You will find that once you force yourself to open a few daytime sets, your skills and experience in other areas will rapidly transfer across. It’s just being willing to burst through that barrier.

To find out more information on day game, check out this audio download by Love Systems day game experts Jeremy Soul and Bonsai. The first 10 minutes are free.

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Lately it seems like every woman I know has either gone through a break up, is in an unhealthy relationship, or is struggling to get out of a bad situation with a man…including yours truly who recently went though yet another break up with an ex.

One friend found out her husband was cheating on her. Next thing she knows she’s at the doctor because he brought home an STD he picked up from the woman he was doing and, she finds out, he is attending crazy color coded sex parties. Another is living with her ex-husband and is trying desperately to get out of the situation. Yet another is still in a relationship with a controlling, unkind man who tells her she’s fat and doesn’t trust her though, with the amount of control he places on her, there’s no way she could cheat even if she were so inclined. Still another recently found out that not only had her ex given her an STD, but that he fathered a child with another girl while they were together. Another walked in on her husband having sex with his boyfriend on her couch. And, sadly, that’s just a small sampling.

Holy dysfunction people! Has the entire world of relationships gone nuts? It has to make you wonder if there are any normal, healthy relationships out there, doesn’t it? I mean, how is it that so many people in my own small circle of friends are going through such turmoil in their relationships? And is it indicative of the rest of the world or is it that there’s just something in the water in the Map Dot area?

Honestly, I have no idea. I just know that it’s enough to make me want to give it all up and get another cat to add to my crazy cat lady starter kit. That or join a convent. Or maybe switch teams as many people I know have suggested lately. Seriously.

I find dating difficult. I struggle to keep going when it seems so much easier to just call it a day. And, when I see so much relationship turmoil going on around me, it makes me seriously wonder if it really is worth the trouble.

Yet, I keep going despite myself. Even though at the end of the day I swear I’m going to throw in the towel, I seem to get up in the morning with some sense of hope that somewhere out there is the man I’m meant to spend my life with. Perhaps he just hasn’t gotten the memo yet. Or maybe I’m like a hamster in a wheel and I just don’t know what else to do. Or, more likely, I realize that giving up hope presents me with a very bleak view of the rest of my life.

Thoughts?

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Introduction

If meeting women in the daytime is something you’re interested in then this primer is for you. It contains the basic information on day game that I present at most bootcamps I instruct at. In my opinion, this is what you need to know to get out there and start meeting people outside of a nightclub environment.

Opening

I find the greatest consistency and satisfaction using direct openers such as:

‘Excuse me, I saw you from over there.and I’d regret it all day if I didn’t come met you.because you look absolutely gorgeous.(EXTEND HAND TO SHAKE) Hi, I’m Keychain, what’s your name?’

Direct openers like this (recently popularized by Sebastian Drake, Soul, Dr.Yen etc.) usually open quite strongly and provide a good platform for you to launch the conversation from. At the very least, it’s nice to say nice things to people – it’ll make you feel good and give her positive emotions too.

There’s nothing wrong with starting a conversation in another style such as indirect, functional, comedic etc. There are lots of examples of these types of openers online and you’ll want to come up with your own as the situation dictates. Here are a few to get you started:

- ‘Hey do you know where the nearest Starbucks is?’

- She’s reading a book: ‘What are you reading?’

- She’s wearing head/earphones: ‘What are you listening to? I’m bored of my current playlist’ (credit Sasha) – take her iPod and start teasing/appreciating her playlist (my addition).

- She’s in a shop or coffee house, deliver with comedy: ‘I saw you from out there and had to come meet you. I just couldn’t let a pane of glass stand between us and true love.’ (Credit Sasha)

If the girl is sat or stationary, you can just walk over to her and deliver your opener. If she’s moving, I’ll always approach from behind, even if it means letting her walk past to get my angle.

To stop a moving set, approach from behind and touch the inside of the elbow gently with two fingers. You can also touch the triceps area or the back of the forearm. Say ‘excuse me’ to get her attention, stop walking as she turns towards you and then deliver your opener.

To further stop her forward momentum and start the transition to conversation, extend your hand to shake hers. Give your name and ask for hers. She will, as most people would, automatically shake your hand and give you her name. From here, you’re ready to transition.

A Common Trap With Direct Openers

Don’t try to solicit a reaction. So many guys get addicted to the big, gushing reactions that you will occasionally get from your direct approaches and ‘look’ for it every time. Instead of being an expression of their personality and core intent, the direct opener becomes a tool to chase a reaction.they deliver it and wait for the big WOW! It’s approval-seeking and not attractive.

Try this frame: Her beauty/vibe/aura moved you to approach. Something in your core just said ‘yes’. So you’re going to go meet her, express your core and see if she’s the kind of girl you might connect with and would like in your life. Self-expression, without the need for approval, mixed with a curious fascination for her as a unique creature.

Transition to Conversation

After opening, I like to stack and cycle through the following transition material until I find a topic that you’re both interested in and can naturally talk about together (what Sebastian Drake calls a ‘click topic’). Perhaps you both enjoy traveling or you both like the movies of a certain director.

To that end, here are three content-questions that you can ask to mine for a click topic.

1) What are doing in London/Oslo/Melrose today? (this also allows you to find out how much time you might have to talk. If she’s rushing to meet friends, better go for the number. If she’s just ’shopping’, you might try for an instant-date later in the conversation)

2) What do you do for a living?

3) What do you do for fun?

As recommended by Wayne Elise, these can either be delivered statement/question or question/statement. In other words, you might start by talking about what you’re doing in central London and then ask her what she’s up to (statement/question). Or you might ask her first and then answer your own question when she’s done (question/statement). Either way, be prepared to supply the initial content and energy of the interaction.

It’s not unusual for a person to be a little on-guard when approached by a stranger in the street or a coffee shop and give quite short answers. Allow her initial shyness, she’ll warm up as your statements build comfort and convey your attractive personality.

Another conversation technique I enjoy is to talk about a character trait I enjoy, explain why I enjoy it and then ask her if she has it. I came up with this by combining Mr.M’s ideas about high-value frame attraction and Sebastian Drake’s ‘click topics’. This ’soft qualification’ is a great way to add value to a conversation and qualify in a high-value way. The more astute among you may recognize some sexual framing in this material also. Lately I’ve been teaching this at a lot of bootcamps and the results have been so encouraging that I recommend you add this technique to your arsenal.

For example:

‘I really like people who travel, I love to travel myself. There’s something about people who travel.there’s an open-mindedness to new experiences and a non-judgmental quality that I really like. Do you like to travel?’

‘I like to surround myself with creative people. They have an energy and a fresh way of looking at life that really energizes me. What do you do for fun?’

If you can’t find a click topic, consider that perhaps the two of you have nothing to click on and are better off moving on to meet other people. With practice, however, you’ll find you can find a way to connect with almost anyone you meet. Remember to listen with curiosity and interest.

Thoughts on Conversation

All the principles of social interaction you’ll find in Magic Bullets and the other materials are relevant here. On top of these, I’d suggest focusing on glimpsing the girl underneath her social facade and being open enough for her to get a glimpse of you under yours.

It’s easy to view interactions with girls as a ‘game’ in which you say certain things, touch your ‘target’ in a certain way to either win or lose the game. This kind of thinking serves to dehumanize the girl who is, after all, a unique person just like you. What if the simple meeting of both of your personalities, opinions and experiences could provide enough content for an attractive, successful conversation?

Don’t forget to be fun and humorous. Tease a little to inject some spice, have fun with the conversation. There’s no need to be intense and serious all the time – in fact, this can be quite creepy! Try a fun role play or future projection, experiment with the attraction materials in Magic Bullets to spice things up. Beware of making these the focus of your content though, remember that you and her are enough to have a great conversation.

Find your own style of interaction. When you meet a man who is successful with girls, by all means copy his style but only to gain an understanding of the underlying principles that make him so successful. Don’t be a clone, you’ll get much better results as a great version of you.

Taking Things Further

Where can you take the conversation after you’re clicking and enjoying one another? Depending on the logistics of the situation, you might try these options:

- suggest a future meeting and exchange contact details.

- suggest going to get a coffee right then and there.

- my first day game approach ended with a hand job in a nearby photo-booth. You could shoot for this if the mood strikes.

Conclusion

The skill of meeting people and having great conversations is a vast one with room for a lifetime of learning and experimentation. It’s a lot of fun and comes with lots of benefits, not least all of the beautiful women you’ll meet!

With this basic information you’ve got all you need to start meeting girls in the daytime. The most important thing you could do with what you’ve read is start applying it in real conversations.

To find out more information on day game, check out this audio download by day game experts Jeremy Soul and Bonsai. The first 10 minutes are free.

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Are you a woman in your 20s or 30s who is actively navigating the NYC online dating scene?

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More Olympian athletes’ pictures (Click to enlarge)

Photo Source: OK Magazine

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