Some background on me. I’ve been working on my game for a few years now. I concentrated very much on indirect club game when I started, but as I grew and developed I discovered a love for Direct Game and Day Game.

Where I stand now is that I like doing night game as well, but Day Game will always be my first love. I have met two of the most incredible girlfriends that I have loved most in my life through Day Game, have had countless dates as a result of daytime number closes, have taken girls home the same day I’ve met them, and brought group of girls I’ve met in the day back to my place.

I’ve stopped using routines and now flow naturally from my heart. I have enormous respect for routines and I teach my students to use routines if I think they need them. Ultimately though, I have practiced so many routines that I now create them on the spot (which in a way is what being natural is about). I don’t do takeaways, I don’t disqualify, I don’t tease. I escalate shamelessly, hard and fast, whilst simultaneously making sure the girl feels as comfortable and safe as possible.

Though I meet girls in night game, I enjoy the variety of girls you can meet in the daytime, the ease with which you can talk to them (bitch shields are WAY down in the day), and the way you can brighten up a beautiful woman’s day unexpectedly.

In some ways, Day Game follows the same structure as any other type of game. But people are always asking me questions about how things are different between night and day game. So here are the main differences and how to get around them as I see it.

1. Guys generally get more approach anxiety approaching girls in the daytime than they do at night.

People always think, “Isn’t it weird to approach girls in the day? Aren’t they busy? Aren’t they going to tell you to go away?” The truth is it’s no less weird than approaching people you don’t know to talk to them in a bar. I used to think girls were going to react really badly, when in fact, they probably react better in the daytime than they do at night. At night, they expect guys to be drunk and hit on them, but in the daytime, it happens to them much less often and thus they are impressed by your confidence and willingness to take risks. Like all approach anxiety, the only way to overcome this is to man up and go approach them!

2. Direct openers are much more necessary in Day Game than night game.

There are a lot of venue considerations in Day Game (see below), but in many situations, particularly in street game, it can come across as really bizarre to stop a random girl and ask her opinion on something. In a bar, you could feasibly be having a conversation with your mates, and want to ask someone nearby their opinion, but in the daytime it comes across as less congruent. Direct openers work fantastically well on the street, e.g. “Excuse me, I just saw you walking past and thought you looked absolutely beautiful! I know this is really forward of me but I just had to say hello. How are you?” Direct Openers are also massively important for moving sets. Contrary to what most people think, it is ridiculously easy to stop moving sets (most of my sets are girls walking past me), you just need to be committed enough to your Direct opener. When you open a moving set, stop, plant yourself right on the ground where you are and deliver the opener. Do NOT start moving as they are moving, wait for them to stop. If they don’t stop, it will be creepy to follow them.

3. Day Game involves a greater variety of venues than night game. These venues are mainly differentiated by the levels of Social Pressure they involve.

You have the streets (my favourite), cafés, bookstores, art galleries, college campuses etc. Every venue or situation is slightly different, so you will need to develop good social calibration so you don’t creep girls out. The biggest factor to be aware of is Social Pressure. The more other people can listen to your interaction with a woman, the higher the Social Pressure will be, and the more potentially uncomfortable the girl will feel. In high social pressure situations, your job is three-fold. First, don’t go too Direct, either open indirectly or tone down your Direct opener (e.g. “That’s a lovely dress, how you doing?”). Second, have a strong frame of feeling comfortable in the interaction. The strongest frame always wins: You feeling comfortable talking to her will make her relax. If you are nervous, she will start to feel uncomfortable. The truth is, feeling this comfortable only comes with time and practice. But remember, she can’t see how you feel inside, only how you act on the outside. Third, make her laugh. If you can tease her or otherwise make her laugh within the first thirty seconds of the interaction, she will instantly relax – the interaction is then suddenly a fun bit of banter with a stranger instead of being accosted by some creepy guy on the subway.

4. Super hot girls are MUCH easier to open in the daytime.

You know how the super hot girls get hit on a lot in bars and clubs? There is one reason why: Alcohol. It normally starts happening after everyone is liquored up. In the sober light of day (and without all their buddies to back up their testosterone levels), most guys are shit scared of the uber hottie walking down the street. They will gawp at her, but God forbid they summon the stones to go up to her and say hello. Direct game works really well in the daytime with super hotties. You’ll be surprised at how many of them will turn around to you and say, “Oh my God, that’s so nice of you, no one has ever stopped me on the street to say that!”

5. You can get into Comfort much more quickly in Day Game than night game.

The fact that you have approached her in the daytime already demonstrates a lot of value; if you went Direct (good on ya!), then this is even more pronounced. Attraction building should happen in a matter of minutes. As soon as she’s laughing and enjoying the interaction, stop thinking about attraction and start thinking about qualifying and building comfort. You’ll need to escalate things as part of this. The easiest way to escalate the interaction on the street is to ask her which way she is headed, and suggest that you walk with her for a few minutes to chat. You can add in a, “I don’t want go dress shopping or anything like that with you though – that would be kinda gay – so I’ll probably head off in a few minutes!” This works exactly like a false time constraint. You are reducing the pressure in the situation.

6. Day Game approaches are often less expected by women and can take them by surprise.

This is a double edged sword. On the one hand, as mentioned above it causes guys to have more anxiety when daytime approaching, and they sometimes equate the surprise that girls will get with her being weirded out. On the other hand, because she is surprised, you have just spiked her emotions and therefore, if you run the interaction well, this turns into a massive positive for you. Not to mention that fact that very rarely do guys approach women on the street, so when you do approach her she will be more impressed and more likely to remember you positively (therefore LESS likely to flake than a night game set). The best way to handle the surprise/shock factor she may experience (especially if you use a Direct opener) is to acknowledge the situation, e.g. “I know this is really forward of me… but I was going to regret it all day if I didn’t stop you and say hello,” or, “This is very bold of me, but I thought you looked absolutely stunning, and I don’t believe in letting opportunities pass you by.”

7. It is harder to get a Same Day Lay than a Same Night Lay.

The reason why this is true is because of logistics, not because of social conventions (which is what you might have expected). If your game is good enough, you can bend social conventions to your whim, but once you get good, the biggest problem you spend most of your time overcoming is logistics. The fact is, girls will tend to be more busy and in the middle of doing other things in the daytime, so often you will only be able to take a phone number, build some comfort, and then move on. However, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be on the lookout for Same Day Lays!! In the ideal situation, you meet the girl and take her on a series of venue changes than end up back at your place. More commonly, there will be an “interrupt”, where she has to go home to eat or meet friends etc. In these cases you can still try to get her to come out to a party with you that night. Guys, you need to get out of the mentality that Day Game is just about taking phone numbers: You are trying to seduce these women not just get their digits. Set up the instant date if you can (e.g. take her for a coffee, then a drink, then a walk, then your place), or arrange to meet her later that day if you can. As mentioned above though, this all depends on what else she has got going on that day. Welcome to the wonderful world of logistical management!

8. You often have less time to demonstrate value to the girl than in night game.

Some girls you open will be in a rush to get somewhere, just about to meet friends, or may not have the time or inclination to talk to a random (albeit fun and interesting) stranger in the middle of the day. Because you are not in a bar, chances are she is not going to see you talking to other people (i.e. no opportunity for social proof). In the daytime therefore, you typically have a very small window of opportunity to make a good first impression: You must present yourself as well as humanly possible. Leave the house ready to meet women. Wear nice clothes, style your hair, and wear good shoes (don’t wear your tatty trainers, homeboy). All of these things will encourage her to response positively to her when you stop her in the middle of the street.

9. Groups of women seem more difficult to approach even though they really are not.

It is not true that you can’t run Direct Game on groups of women, and it is not true that you can’t open groups of women in the daytime. Your strategy with a group should be either to pull all of them to another venue with you (typically again, there will be an interrupt, but you can invite them somewhere later that night), or to open the girl you want, build some comfort with the whole group (so they approve of you and allow you to pick up the girl you want), and then start escalating with your chosen girl. Escalation in front of the group might be as simple as taking her number, finding out some stuff about her and qualifying her a little.

This of course is not everything there is to know about Day Game, but I’ve covered some of the most salient points here that I think a lot of people miss about this fine art.

The most important thing guys, is to take action. I have gone out with so many people who excel in night game, but choke in the daytime. You need to be willing to take action TODAY, not tomorrow, not the day after. Procrastination is the world’s greatest sin. You will find that once you force yourself to open a few daytime sets, your skills and experience in other areas will rapidly transfer across. It’s just being willing to burst through that barrier.

To find out more information on day game, check out this audio download by Love Systems day game experts Jeremy Soul and Bonsai. The first 10 minutes are free.

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Lately it seems like every woman I know has either gone through a break up, is in an unhealthy relationship, or is struggling to get out of a bad situation with a man…including yours truly who recently went though yet another break up with an ex.

One friend found out her husband was cheating on her. Next thing she knows she’s at the doctor because he brought home an STD he picked up from the woman he was doing and, she finds out, he is attending crazy color coded sex parties. Another is living with her ex-husband and is trying desperately to get out of the situation. Yet another is still in a relationship with a controlling, unkind man who tells her she’s fat and doesn’t trust her though, with the amount of control he places on her, there’s no way she could cheat even if she were so inclined. Still another recently found out that not only had her ex given her an STD, but that he fathered a child with another girl while they were together. Another walked in on her husband having sex with his boyfriend on her couch. And, sadly, that’s just a small sampling.

Holy dysfunction people! Has the entire world of relationships gone nuts? It has to make you wonder if there are any normal, healthy relationships out there, doesn’t it? I mean, how is it that so many people in my own small circle of friends are going through such turmoil in their relationships? And is it indicative of the rest of the world or is it that there’s just something in the water in the Map Dot area?

Honestly, I have no idea. I just know that it’s enough to make me want to give it all up and get another cat to add to my crazy cat lady starter kit. That or join a convent. Or maybe switch teams as many people I know have suggested lately. Seriously.

I find dating difficult. I struggle to keep going when it seems so much easier to just call it a day. And, when I see so much relationship turmoil going on around me, it makes me seriously wonder if it really is worth the trouble.

Yet, I keep going despite myself. Even though at the end of the day I swear I’m going to throw in the towel, I seem to get up in the morning with some sense of hope that somewhere out there is the man I’m meant to spend my life with. Perhaps he just hasn’t gotten the memo yet. Or maybe I’m like a hamster in a wheel and I just don’t know what else to do. Or, more likely, I realize that giving up hope presents me with a very bleak view of the rest of my life.

Thoughts?

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Introduction

If meeting women in the daytime is something you’re interested in then this primer is for you. It contains the basic information on day game that I present at most bootcamps I instruct at. In my opinion, this is what you need to know to get out there and start meeting people outside of a nightclub environment.

Opening

I find the greatest consistency and satisfaction using direct openers such as:

‘Excuse me, I saw you from over there.and I’d regret it all day if I didn’t come met you.because you look absolutely gorgeous.(EXTEND HAND TO SHAKE) Hi, I’m Keychain, what’s your name?’

Direct openers like this (recently popularized by Sebastian Drake, Soul, Dr.Yen etc.) usually open quite strongly and provide a good platform for you to launch the conversation from. At the very least, it’s nice to say nice things to people – it’ll make you feel good and give her positive emotions too.

There’s nothing wrong with starting a conversation in another style such as indirect, functional, comedic etc. There are lots of examples of these types of openers online and you’ll want to come up with your own as the situation dictates. Here are a few to get you started:

- ‘Hey do you know where the nearest Starbucks is?’

- She’s reading a book: ‘What are you reading?’

- She’s wearing head/earphones: ‘What are you listening to? I’m bored of my current playlist’ (credit Sasha) – take her iPod and start teasing/appreciating her playlist (my addition).

- She’s in a shop or coffee house, deliver with comedy: ‘I saw you from out there and had to come meet you. I just couldn’t let a pane of glass stand between us and true love.’ (Credit Sasha)

If the girl is sat or stationary, you can just walk over to her and deliver your opener. If she’s moving, I’ll always approach from behind, even if it means letting her walk past to get my angle.

To stop a moving set, approach from behind and touch the inside of the elbow gently with two fingers. You can also touch the triceps area or the back of the forearm. Say ‘excuse me’ to get her attention, stop walking as she turns towards you and then deliver your opener.

To further stop her forward momentum and start the transition to conversation, extend your hand to shake hers. Give your name and ask for hers. She will, as most people would, automatically shake your hand and give you her name. From here, you’re ready to transition.

A Common Trap With Direct Openers

Don’t try to solicit a reaction. So many guys get addicted to the big, gushing reactions that you will occasionally get from your direct approaches and ‘look’ for it every time. Instead of being an expression of their personality and core intent, the direct opener becomes a tool to chase a reaction.they deliver it and wait for the big WOW! It’s approval-seeking and not attractive.

Try this frame: Her beauty/vibe/aura moved you to approach. Something in your core just said ‘yes’. So you’re going to go meet her, express your core and see if she’s the kind of girl you might connect with and would like in your life. Self-expression, without the need for approval, mixed with a curious fascination for her as a unique creature.

Transition to Conversation

After opening, I like to stack and cycle through the following transition material until I find a topic that you’re both interested in and can naturally talk about together (what Sebastian Drake calls a ‘click topic’). Perhaps you both enjoy traveling or you both like the movies of a certain director.

To that end, here are three content-questions that you can ask to mine for a click topic.

1) What are doing in London/Oslo/Melrose today? (this also allows you to find out how much time you might have to talk. If she’s rushing to meet friends, better go for the number. If she’s just ’shopping’, you might try for an instant-date later in the conversation)

2) What do you do for a living?

3) What do you do for fun?

As recommended by Wayne Elise, these can either be delivered statement/question or question/statement. In other words, you might start by talking about what you’re doing in central London and then ask her what she’s up to (statement/question). Or you might ask her first and then answer your own question when she’s done (question/statement). Either way, be prepared to supply the initial content and energy of the interaction.

It’s not unusual for a person to be a little on-guard when approached by a stranger in the street or a coffee shop and give quite short answers. Allow her initial shyness, she’ll warm up as your statements build comfort and convey your attractive personality.

Another conversation technique I enjoy is to talk about a character trait I enjoy, explain why I enjoy it and then ask her if she has it. I came up with this by combining Mr.M’s ideas about high-value frame attraction and Sebastian Drake’s ‘click topics’. This ’soft qualification’ is a great way to add value to a conversation and qualify in a high-value way. The more astute among you may recognize some sexual framing in this material also. Lately I’ve been teaching this at a lot of bootcamps and the results have been so encouraging that I recommend you add this technique to your arsenal.

For example:

‘I really like people who travel, I love to travel myself. There’s something about people who travel.there’s an open-mindedness to new experiences and a non-judgmental quality that I really like. Do you like to travel?’

‘I like to surround myself with creative people. They have an energy and a fresh way of looking at life that really energizes me. What do you do for fun?’

If you can’t find a click topic, consider that perhaps the two of you have nothing to click on and are better off moving on to meet other people. With practice, however, you’ll find you can find a way to connect with almost anyone you meet. Remember to listen with curiosity and interest.

Thoughts on Conversation

All the principles of social interaction you’ll find in Magic Bullets and the other materials are relevant here. On top of these, I’d suggest focusing on glimpsing the girl underneath her social facade and being open enough for her to get a glimpse of you under yours.

It’s easy to view interactions with girls as a ‘game’ in which you say certain things, touch your ‘target’ in a certain way to either win or lose the game. This kind of thinking serves to dehumanize the girl who is, after all, a unique person just like you. What if the simple meeting of both of your personalities, opinions and experiences could provide enough content for an attractive, successful conversation?

Don’t forget to be fun and humorous. Tease a little to inject some spice, have fun with the conversation. There’s no need to be intense and serious all the time – in fact, this can be quite creepy! Try a fun role play or future projection, experiment with the attraction materials in Magic Bullets to spice things up. Beware of making these the focus of your content though, remember that you and her are enough to have a great conversation.

Find your own style of interaction. When you meet a man who is successful with girls, by all means copy his style but only to gain an understanding of the underlying principles that make him so successful. Don’t be a clone, you’ll get much better results as a great version of you.

Taking Things Further

Where can you take the conversation after you’re clicking and enjoying one another? Depending on the logistics of the situation, you might try these options:

- suggest a future meeting and exchange contact details.

- suggest going to get a coffee right then and there.

- my first day game approach ended with a hand job in a nearby photo-booth. You could shoot for this if the mood strikes.

Conclusion

The skill of meeting people and having great conversations is a vast one with room for a lifetime of learning and experimentation. It’s a lot of fun and comes with lots of benefits, not least all of the beautiful women you’ll meet!

With this basic information you’ve got all you need to start meeting girls in the daytime. The most important thing you could do with what you’ve read is start applying it in real conversations.

To find out more information on day game, check out this audio download by day game experts Jeremy Soul and Bonsai. The first 10 minutes are free.

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Are you a woman in your 20s or 30s who is actively navigating the NYC online dating scene?

Have you looked for love on match.com or other online dating websites?

Do you and your single girlfriends have enough stories – the good, the bad and the ugly – to write a book on dating?

Are you New York City’s real life Carrie Bradshaw?

If so, we want to hear from you!

Picture Shack Entertainment is now casting fun, fabulous single women (and their friends!) for a new reality pilot about the good, the bad and the future happily-ever-afters of the NYC dating scene! We’re looking for that vivacious group of girlfriends who are outgoing, adventurous and made-for-TV…all those real life Carries, Mirandas, Charlottes and Samanthas who will let us come along for the ride as they meet, date and discuss all those potential Mr. Rights!

If you’re open to new styles of dating and love to meet new people online while searching for your Mr. Right, please contact us with a recent photo, as well as a brief description of yourself and your online dating history. If you have girlfriends who might be right for this ensemble show, please let us know!

To apply or get information about the pilot Please contact:
Danielle Gervais (Casting Producer)
Call: 646-674-3098
Email: nydatingcasting2@gmail.com

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More Olympian athletes’ pictures (Click to enlarge)

Photo Source: OK Magazine

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Once I started learning Love Systems, I was actually able to pull beautiful women home to my place. But in the meantime, I also got good at making things work by going back to her place. Here are four tips for closing at her place.

1) Find out where she lives.

This step seems obvious, but you’d be surprised how often it is unintentionally left out. When you know where a woman lives, you can plan ahead to deal with the logistical problems you’re going to hit later.

Does she live near the venue? Does she have a roommate? Is she in a dorm? Do you know of a cool bar/after hours joint near her place? When you want to bounce her back there, are you going to drive, walk, or take a cab? Even if you end up with a phone number + date instead of going home with her, this info will be useful for when you go out again.

Here are a few scenarios to consider, and ways I’ve figured out how to deal with them.

* Roommates: When there is a separate bedroom to retreat to, sacrificing a few minutes of conversation to win over the roommate(s) will make your being there a lot more comfortable. After they trust you, you can use any nonsense reason to bounce your girl to her bedroom. “Bet my room is cleaner than yours,” is one example.

* Cab ride: If she lives a cab ride away, be sure to keep up the momentum in the car, and continue to build up physical intimacy. If you were touching her arm in the bar, touch her leg in the cab. If you were about to make out in the bar, make out in the cab. Avoid cabs with bucket seats that make physical contact impossible.

* Dorm: If there’s a security guard, you can go through the lengthy (and vibe-killing) process of giving him your ID and signing in, or you can tell the girl to slide her card through and sneak in behind her. You get points for being resourceful, and it’s exciting because it seems like you’re doing something wrong.

* Shared bedroom: There are public bathrooms in dorms and hotels that I have found very accommodating when dealing with shared room situations. Be sure and scan for them when entering, and when it’s time to bounce to it, tell the girl that you’re “taking her on a field trip.”

2) Amp up the physical tension.

This is a huge topic that lots of Love Systems instructors have gone into incredible detail on, but the general principle is important. If you can get a girl sexually excited, then she’s going to want to bring you to a place where you can have sex as quickly as humanly possible. At Love Systems we teach everything you need to know to accomplish this goal, from framing the conversation sexually to escalating things physically, but in the meantime here are a few quick pointers to get you started:

* Always end a touch or kiss before they do/want you to.

* Drop the topic of sex into conversation (in a light, joking way) as quickly as possible.

* Start touching the way you’d touch your boss and build to the way you’d touch a girlfriend.

3) “Let’s get you home.”

It’s easy to think of reasons to give a woman why she has to come back to your place. Keep it simple. “Let me show you that book I was talking about,” is perfect. It gives her plausible deniability and doesn’t tip your hand.

It’s harder to do this with her place. “Do you want to take me home with you?” makes you sound like a stray dog, not a man. “Let’s go to your place” is totally cliché thanks to every movie from the 1970s. “Let’s get out of here” is great if it’s obvious and explicit that she wants to have sex, but if you’re still flying a bit under the radar or her friends are around, you’re going to need something a little more subtle.

Instead, take the lead with “let’s get you home.” It’s a little dominant, it shows you know how to lead, but it also doesn’t trigger state breaks. If her friends are around, it implies that you are just going to make sure that she gets home safe. She shouldn’t feel any pressure since there’s really nothing implied. And if nothing’s going to happen, then there’s no reason she can’t bail on her friends, right?

(If you don’t remember state breaks, review Chapter 10 of Magic Bullets now. If you haven’t read Magic Bullets, get it. It’s the official Love Systems guide to meeting and attracting women, and where most successful guys start. Get it.)

4) Assume you’re going upstairs.

There’s nothing more awkward than walking a woman home and standing there silent for an eternity waiting for her to invite you up. Avoid this situation by assuming that she’ll be bringing you upstairs. Do not pause by the door. Do not say “Well, it was nice hanging out with you.” Keep the momentum of the interaction going as though you are still in the process of hanging out.

If she has to invite you in, that’s risking a state break.

Of course, there will be times when she suggests that you don’t come up, either because she doesn’t want to appear easy, or because she thinks letting you upstairs is an implicit agreement that you’ll be sleeping together. You can usually defuse this by giving yourself a bedtime. “I’ve got work in the morning, so I can only come up for a little bit” is one of my favorites. Say this before she even gets a chance to tell you why you can’t come in – like you coming in is a foregone conclusion.

To find out more information on closing at the girl’s place or getting a girl from the venue back to your place, definitely checkout the interview series on Logistics.

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Truth, they say, is a bitter pill to swallow. I have no idea who “they” is, but I’m believing them right at the moment. The truth, it seems, has smacked me cold in my face. I’ve written a lot about how failed relationships are anything but and about how having been married multiple times is not necessarily a bad thing. But there comes a time when you have to face the fact that, no matter how you spin it, most people won’t see it the same way. There comes a time when you look yourself in the mirror and say, “I’m 47 years old, I’ve been married 4 times and there’s a damn good chance I’ll be spending my life with my cats.”

Now I there will be those of you out there who will tell me I’m selling myself short. G has already pointed out that I’m a quality, valuable person who is intelligent and caring and compassionate and loyal. And while I appreciate all of my cheerleaders, I’m here to tell you that my experience tells me differently.

I’ve been divorced six years and, for all intents and purposes, I’ve been single for six years. I’ve dated. A lot. Here’s how it works. I meet someone, online or in person, and we hit it off. Inevitably the conversation turns to marriages and divorces and I begin to hold my breath. There’s talk of divorces and how long you’ve been divorced. It doesn’t take long and then, wait for it, there it is. The deal breaker question. “How many times have you been married?” Ugh! Shall I ask for the check now?

I can see it their faces you know. First comes the OMG look and then they try to recover with “Oh. Oh. Well…” Yeah. Suddenly, I go from being someone interesting they’re excited to get to know to a girl that might be good enough to have sex with. After all, they should at least get something out of it right? Maybe, they think, they can even work out a FWB arrangement and get laid on a regular basis. All of the perks, none of the work.

Go through that a couple hundred times and it’s bound to leave its mark. Look I know I’m a fabulous person. I know I’ve learned more about myself and relationships than most people ever even dream of learning. I know that my experiences have made me the person I am today. I get all that. The problem is  men don’t. And the majority of them don’t care. All they hear is 4 times and you can hear the fat lady singing in the background.

I’ve never been the girl afraid to take the risk. I’ve put myself out there and gone for it more times than I probably should have, but I think I may be done. It suddenly seems too hard and, the truth is, I think I’m tired of trying. No. I’m not looking forward to facing a life with my cats. Not at all. And I don’t like to think I’m quitter. Yet, at the end of the day when I’m going to bed alone yet again, it somehow seems the path of least resistance. And that is looking pretty damn good right about now.

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I’m going to add something here, that you should do EVERY SINGLE MONTH, at least, maybe every week.

I still get value from this exercise, and it takes very little time. However, just knowing this exercise won’t help, you have to actually DO IT.

Take one piece of A4. At the top write “I see a hot girl”. At the bottom write: “we start having sex” (or “she says ‘I do’”, or whatever your actual outcome is).

Then fill in a plausible and detailed explanation of how you got from seeing this chick to being balls deep. Whenever you get to a point where you’re not sure what to write, you’ve found a sticking point.

For the VAST majority of guys I’ve met, this will be:

“I see a hot girl. I go and run some opinion opener from the internet on her. Then, uh.. um. Maybe I tease her? Uh, and, uh.”

BANG. Sticking point identified. Do some research at this point. What comes next? Post a question to the forum. Ask someone what should happen next.

You don’t need to work out the best thing to say – you’re not looking for lines to memorize, and you’re not looking for some kind of magical routine – it’ll never go down the way you’ve planned it anyway. You’re looking for an understanding of a plausible next step. Don’t accept answers like “Then you be an alpha male and she fucks you” – not good enough. Ask for specific sample dialogue. Don’t try and replicate those, don’t try and parrot that shit off, but use them to get an understanding of what and why happens next.

As my own example, the first time I did this, I got to: “we’re making out in the club”, and I was like WTF happens next? So I asked a natural buddy, and he said: “Last time I just told the girl I’d make her a cocktail back at mine”.

What did I do? I went out and spent a far too much money on cocktail alcohol and equipment. Next time I went out, I was making out with this girl, and was like: “So, uh, do you want a cocktail back at mine?”. Answer: “No”. DOH! Asked for more advice on this, was told to make the bounce home gentler and less obvious … and with time, got that shit sorted. Learning how to bounce was a massive sticking point for me, and I hadn’t even realised it – once I had that sorted, I started having a one-night stand. The point being: you won’t get this stuff right first time, but a plausible idea of how to go about it is crucial

Do I use some long-winded and complicated extraction technique now? No, of course not. Now I instinctively know how to bounce, instinctively know the subtleties, and tend to just say: “ok, we’re out of here!”. But the identification of the sticking point through the above exercise (and subsequent ones), the focus on actually closing and getting from A to B is what started accelerating my game.

Key points:

* Write personal, detailed, and fictional descriptions of how you went from seeing a girl to fucking her to help you get the process straight in your head, and identify your weak points

* Ask for advice any time you find yourself having trouble writing plausible dialogue or action sequences

* The point isn’t to prescript the interaction, the point is to identify your sticking points in getting from A to B – it won’t ever go down the way you planned anyway

* Don’t accept wishy-washy advice that doesn’t come with plausible detailed examples

Hope this helps – just reading it won’t though – actually TRY IT.

To find out more on overcoming sticking points, check out the interview series on sticking points.

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