So, you’re getting married? Congratulations! If you’re anything like I was when I was a bride-to-be, you’ll be experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions, but you can relieve some of the pressure by planning some of the main details of the celebration well in advance.

Considerations like the date, the venue and the guest list can all be arranged ahead of time – read my guide to where to start when it’s time to plan your wedding.

The date

Choosing a date for your wedding may be easy – perhaps you’d like to get married at the same time of year you met your partner, or have your heart set on a summer wedding when you have the best chance of good weather. However, there are other factors to consider when coming up with a wedding date.

The weather can be an issue, and the time of year may dictate whether you can have the ceremony or reception outdoors or not. This can also apply if you’re planning to head abroad for your wedding, so do some research into seasonal changes if you’re thinking of getting wed overseas.

Another thing to consider is whether the wedding will be far off enough for people to be able to get time off work, and whether the date will fall during the school holidays – are you happy to have children at your service?

If you need to save up for your wedding, you’ll need to work out a timeframe for saving the amount you’ll need. Reports indicate that the average cost of a wedding is around £20,000, so think about how long it will take you to set aside a budget that suits what you want for your big day.

The venue

Arguably one of the most important considerations of many weddings is the location and the venue. Ceremonies are very personal and you might decide you’d like to say your vows in a secluded but beautiful location with just your closest friends and loved ones to witness it. You could choose a small chapel in the countryside for this type of intimate wedding, or you might decide to book a room in a stately property to add an air of grandeur to proceedings.

For an informal wedding, consider holding your ceremony in a converted barn, and opt for a buffet instead of a sit-down meal. At my wedding, I chose a buffet so guests could mingle and wouldn’t have a long wait between courses.

Heading out of town to a rural spot can provide you with a picturesque setting for your wedding photos and you’ll often find countryside mansions also offer reception packages, so you can remain in the same area for the entire day. Alternatively, take a look at small venues like boutique hotels if you want to stay in the city for your wedding.

The guest list

When drawing up your guest list, it’s a good idea to make a note of friends and family members you’d like to invite, and get your partner to do the same. It doesn’t matter if the list is very long to begin with, as you can whittle names down. Both the bride and groom should be able to invite an equal number of guests, although there may be scope for one of you to fill up remaining places.

You may receive suggestions of guests from other people but, as it’s your wedding, it’s entirely up to you whom you invite. A good idea is to just tell close family and friends about the wedding to avoid awkward questions until you know the exact size of the party and how many people you’ll be able to invite.

You might decide to just have a few friends and family members for an intimate ceremony, and invite lots of people for a big party afterwards, or you might be happy to have a smaller celebration following the service. You can avoid extra guests by having your invitation maker print the names of those invited on response cards, followed by a blank line where the recipient(s) can mark whether they’ll be coming or not.

Casinos provide a lot of fun for an exciting evening out guaranteed to rejuvenate any frazzled mother. Casinos have a variety of casino games that can even meet the needs of a mum who has never gambled in her life or the mum who frequently play at online casinos such as Lucky Nugget, found at www.luckynuggetcasino.com/online-slots. For instance, slot machines are popular choices for many mums. They like the flashy lights, entertaining themes and appealing sounds. Slot machine also can fit into a variety of budgets so some mums don’t feel they are spending too much money. Also, when taking a night out in a casino, many places offer free drinks to players. Casinos also come with their own restaurants where mums spending the night out of the home can left someone else cater to them. It’s nice for mums out there to feel spoiled if only for an evening.

When visiting a casino, one can expect different categories of slot machines. Two kinds of slot machines are identified by the number of reels they have. Some slot machines have three reels while others have five reels. By having multiple reels, there are more paylines which provide additional opportunities to be and hopefully, win. Progressive slot machines are another kind of slot machine. Progressive are a bank of slot machines linked together. Each time a bet is placed, a portion of the bet goes into a progressive jackpot. When certain conditions are met, a lucky player can win the sizable jackpot.

Have you ever sat in a completely uncomfortable chair? How was your focus that day? I imagine it was terrible. And how about if you slept on a lumpy old bed? You most likely didn’t get hardly any sleep and were completely unproductive the next day. Neither of these scenarios prove to be very good for your career, which is why chairs and mattresses are of the utmost importance when you’re trying to advance in your company.

Where to Find a Good Chair

West Michigan is known for their office furniture. Within just 20 square miles or so, there are three major companies that produce office seating: Herman Miller, Steelcase, and Haworth. A typical office chair can cost between $500 and $1,000. Your eyes might be bugging out of your head, but in the case of Herman Miller, these chairs come with a 12 year warranty. You could buy a $100 and replace it every couple of years, or you could buy something quality and hold onto it for a while. In the end, the quality is the best choice, both because it’s going to hold up longer, but also because it is more ergonomic and will allow you to sit more comfortably and be more productive while at work.

Where to Find a Good Mattress

While you might sit a lot while you’re at work, when you lay your head down on your pillow at night, you want to get yourself a good night’s sleep. If you don’t, you know it in the morning. Instead of thinking clearly because you are so well rested, you’re probably reaching for that coffee pot. Do what you can to avoid that coffee pot, you might want to take a look at Divan Beds from Bedworld.net. Here, you can find many options for both mattresses and bed frames. You can even find yourself wooden beds here.

With a quality mattress, created exactly for your size and body type, you can get better sleep than you ever imagined before. Instead of waking up multiple times per night because of discomfort, you will have a much better chance at sleeping through the night and waking up fresh as a daisy in the morning!

If there are two things you don’t want to skimp on, it’s seating and your mattress. Spend a little extra on these and you’ll be glad you did. And, not only that, your career might take off because of your newfound alertness as well!

Since the beginning of our relationship, so much about me has changed. Since the beginning of this blog, so much about me has changed. So many ups and downs. I look at old blog posts and read old journals from the past 2 years and I’m speechless. I don’t know what to say. Which is why this will be my last blog post on How’s Married Life.

A couple of times, there have been wives who have reached out to me, asking for advice and support while they deal with a possible divorce. And each time it gives me an anxiety attack. “Did they read the blog?” I wonder to myself. “They think I can help them? I don’t have answers for my own marriage; how can I help theirs?” And those wives have children, which adds another element I’m not familiar with, and a sensitive topic anyways since I’ve always wanted kids. I pray for them, I tell them what I suggest they don’t do from my experience, and hope my words help, if even for a little bit.

I’ve met a lot of wonderful and supportive people since I started blogging, people who have checked in on me when I disappear for a while. People who have offered encouraging words and prayers during difficult times. And I’m so appreciative of every one of you. I wish I could hug all of you.

I am leaving How’s Married Life to truly find out for myself what it’s about. I want to rediscover myself as an individual, and, if possible, relearn how to be a wife. I want to take a proactive approach and not just sulk about what has happened. People have continuously told me to move on, so that’s what I’m doing. I’m moving on to a new stage in my life. While the past 5 months have been in a new chapter, I want to close it, and start yet another one. This new chapter, I pray, will be much more joyful than the last.

Again, I’d like to thank you for all of your support, from 20 and Engaged to How’s Married Life. The blog will continue, just not with me. I will pray for everyone who has read the blog as you all have prayed for me. I’ll still be around, Twitter, Facebook. I’ll continue to blog here and there, just not about marriage exclusively. So it’s not necessarily bye, but rather see you later. And again, thank you.

I don’t post much anymore. Mostly because I’m unsure of what to say or how to say it. I live in a state of confusion, and it’s frustrating. But everyday is a learning experience and everyday I’m one step closer to peace.

I have an undeniable void that nags and begs for my attention. Most times I try to ignore it because I don’t know how to address it. Other times when I’m not busy, I try to figure out how to handle it. I pray, I read books, I listen to music, and the void is still there. It’s the most frustrating thing I’ve ever experienced.

I’ve now been separated for 4 months, and it’s been an emotional roller coaster. It’s lead me to question so much: my husband, myself, the foundation of our relationship, events throughout our relationship, the authenticity of our marriage, you name it. It’s also caused me to take a good, hard, long look at a lot of things: my goals, my motives, myself. So instead of trying to avoid the void, I’m trying to tackle it head on.

Many people have voids for various reasons. Everyone approaches them differently. Some people opt for alcohol, medication, recreational drugs, promiscuity, reckless spending, but all these things are the equivalent of Fix-A-Flat. These are temporary solutions to a very real and very serious problem. It needs a repair, not a quick fix.

To be honest, part of me comes up with excuses as to why I “can’t” deal with the void. The biggest excuse is that I need answers/closure. But I have to become okay with the fact that I may never get those things. I hate limbo. It is the most maddening state of being I’ve ever been in. The state of uncertainty. The problem with not knowing. The fear of questionable outcomes. I hate it. But what can I do about it? I can be upset but that doesn’t help or change anything.

I miss my husband. I miss him as my partner, I miss him as my best friend. I haven’t seen him in 2 months. We only talk sporadically. When we do talk, I end up going off the deep end (embarrassing). The few times I’ve gone to file, I couldn’t do it for one reason or another. I don’t know if that’s a sign or just a roadblock. Who knows. But I do miss him.

With the breakdown in this relationship, I’ve been able to strengthen my relationship with God. I’ve been going to church more often, I’ve regularly attended bible study, I’m reading the Purpose Driven Life, I listen to podcasts, I look for scriptures on my own, and biggest of all, I pray. I don’t think I’ve ever prayed this much in my life. I pray in the morning, I pray at night, I pray in the middle of the day. It definitely helps, even when I don’t see immediate “results”, I know it’s working.

So honestly with all this uncertainty and being in limbo and being estranged (ugh when I looked up the definition of that it just irked me even more), I still have to face this void. I can’t just fill it, I have to conquer it. It’s messy, it’s mind numbing, it’s scary, but it’s necessary. I’m allowing myself to be open. I’m allowing myself to be vulnerable. I’m allowing myself to feel my feelings. And I am confident that no matter what happens, I am going to be victorious when it comes to this void.

I say all this to say if you have a void that you’ve been avoiding, take it head on. I’m not saying don’t be scared; it’s scary! I’m saying do it anyways. Be courageous. Stop trying to fill the void. It’s like filling your stomach with food. You get full, but eventually, you get hungry again. No, this is something that has to be dealt with and ultimately eliminated. So let’s do it.

There’s a movie by Tyler Perry called “Why Did I Get Married?” and it’s actually one of my favorite movies. It’s about 4 couples who get together every year for a mini retreat, and I won’t give away the rest for those of you who haven’t seen it. There’s also a sequel, but I hated it. Anywho, it brings about a very good question. I was also watching the OWN network, and Oprah showed an older episode where a couple was on and trying to figure out if they should get married or not. It was clear to everyone that they shouldn’t, and they didn’t.

So it made me bring the question to myself. Why did I get married? 3 months into a separation, I guess it’s a good question to ask.

I Got Married Because I Love My Husband

One of the more obvious reasons, I got married because I love my husband. We were dating for almost 4 years when he asked me to marry him, and I couldn’t imagine a reason to not say yes. Even at the age of 20, I loved this man so much, and couldn’t see any cons as to why we shouldn’t get married.

I Got Married Because It Was a Goal

It’s no secret that one of my lifetime goals was to get married. I didn’t want to get married just to do it, but it was definitely something I wanted to do at some point in my life.

I Got Married Because I Wanted a Partnership

Getting married, for me, was more than the wedding. We started planning a bigger wedding, but because of our finances, we chose a smaller, more intimate courthouse wedding. But I was looking past that. I wanted a partnership. I loved the idea that a marriage meant I would have someone to bounce ideas off of, confess my fears, someone to protect me, someone who would always be there. A partnership can be fulfilled outside of marriage, but a partnership based on unconditional love is a blessing.

These basically sum up the reasons why I got married. This is definitely not a list of reasons why I love my husband, but just a few reasons I had to figure out to see what my motives are.

In my time of reflection, I’ve been able to look back on my marriage, and even my relationship before we got married, and see where a lot of things went wrong. Not just flaws on my husband’s part, but many flaws on my part. I wonder if marriage was the right thing to do, even though my reasons I listed above are very valid. I wonder if the reasons why I got married are reasons enough to stay married.

My husband believes that I don’t want to get divorced because I don’t want it to “be on my record”. I get what he’s trying to get at, but that’s not the case at all. I realize that marriage is a lifelong commitment, a covenant, something that requires a lot of work, and more time than 2 years. But I realize it takes 2.

Can the reasons you get married remain relevant throughout your marriage? Do the reasons change overtime?

Have you ever read the book “Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus”? I never read it, but I’m assuming it talks about the differences between men and women. We are a lot more different than I ever imagined. Sure, we are both humans, and if you’re married, you probably both want love. But geez, do we have different ways of thinking, different ways of seeing things, and different ways of hearing things.

For example, when Terrance and I first moved in together, we hit a few financial snags along the way. During one point, money was a little tight, and we had to figure out how we were going to make sure all the bills got paid for the month. I was comfortable asking my parents to help us out until we had the means to pay them back. Terrance wanted to be more independent, and preferred that we research instant pay day loan lenders and make it work on our own. I thought my idea was logical; he thought his idea was logical. So who was right? Well in relationships, and especially marriages, it’s not always about who’s right. As the saying goes, “you can be right or you can be married”.

Last night, my best friend called me venting about her relationship. It was the same issue she’s called me about before. She felt like an action her boyfriend was doing was disrespectful and she was furious that he kept doing it. He thought it wasn’t a big deal and that it in no way affected their relationship. Who was right? Who did I side with? I told my best friend that I completely understood where she’s coming from, because I do. However, I also understand how her boyfriend feels like it does not affect their relationship, because in his mind it doesn’t. You know why? Because men and women are so different!

In the book “Love and Respect” by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, he talks about women having “pink sunglasses” and “pink hearing aids” and men having “blue sunglasses” and “blue hearing aids”. I thought this was so true and makes an excellent point. My husband and I can watch the same exact movie and hear the same exact dialogue. There is a great possibility that what I may perceive to be the plot could be completely different from what my husband perceives to be the plot. It doesn’t mean anyone’s wrong; we just have different ways of seeing/hearing things!

One of the biggest issues in relationships is understanding each other. Essentially, you’re bringing two people together who grew up differently, have different views, and have different opinions. A lot of us, however, have never really had to have our views challenged by someone and have it affect us so much. When arguing, I admit that if something doesn’t make sense to me I just automatically assume it just doesn’t make sense. That frustrates my husband to no end. In a way, when I say “that doesn’t make sense” to something he thinks or feels, I’m saying “your opinion is null and void” and that can be very hurtful.

What am I trying to say? I want everyone to think twice before blurting out “this is right” or “that’s wrong” to your spouse. True, it may not make sense to you, but that doesn’t mean it just flat out doesn’t make any sense. Take a step back from your emotions and really try to see things from your spouse’s sunglasses and hear things from your spouse’s hearing aid. Never say “that doesn’t make any sense” to something they think or feel. Be sympathetic. Be compassionate. Be open minded. Don’t try to force your differences; learn to embrace them!

It’s hard to believe I’ve been away for over a month, but the hiatus was much needed. I didn’t want to say anything while I was in a state of confusion and depression. So I stayed quiet until I had something positive to say.

Since the separation, things have been…interesting to say the least. I can run off a laundry list of bad things that have happened, tears I’ve cried, words that were said, but I’m not interested in doing that. I’ll instead speak to the positive things that have happened since I last spoke to you guys.

I’m Hired!

I’m really really not unemployed anymore; I’m now a permanent employee of my job! I was hired as a full time employee a few weeks ago, and I’m so excited. With the promotion comes a bit of a pay raise and some benefits. Yay! A lot of people ask what I do. Basically, I get paid to be on Facebook all day, haha. I do more than that, obviously, but I really enjoy it. I’ve met a great friend on the job, my boss is awesome (and she’s having a baby!) and I am blessed for the opportunity.

I’m Reading Again

I’ve always been a reader, but I’ve admittedly fell off from reading over the past few years. I’m actively reading again. Of course, marriage books are always on my mind and on my Kindle. I’ve read a few of Gary Chapman’s books (Desperate Marriages & The 4 Seasons of Marriage), The Power of Prayer to Change Your Marriage by Stormie Omartian, Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, Attached by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, and I’m in the middle of reading The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller. The books have been a major help to me, showing me things I can definitely improve on, putting words to the emotions I’ve been feeling, and really just showing how to make a marriage better.

I’m Spiritually Maturing

Throughout this time, I’ve of course had some pity parties and asked God “why me” and honestly felt like giving up. But my faith has improved monumentally. I am constantly praying and reading my bible, and I’m going to church pretty regularly again. There’s nothing like soul food. I listen to podcasts and if I watch my church’s bible study on the computer. I’m really building my faith muscle. This experience has brought me closer to God and will continue to do so, no matter which way things go.

I Learned Who My True Friends Were

I’ve had so many of you check on me throughout the weeks, making sure I’m okay, offering to talk, praying for me, and it’s all so appreciated! Many of you I’ve never even met and I feel the love. In the same breath, I’ve eliminated a few people from my life, and I feel relieved about it. You want to know who your true friends are? Go through something. If they’re constantly making things about them, it’s time to cut them loose. I’m glad I’ve been able to do that.

So What About the Marriage?

*deep sigh* As of today, I honestly don’t know. He’s still very adamant about getting divorced. I used to pray that things would work out but I’m just praying that God’s will be done. If it’s his will for us to stay together, we will. If it’s not, we won’t. But I don’t feel comfortable making a move either way right now because I’m not 100% confident in either decision, to stay or to go. There’s days where I let my emotions get the best of me, and I act (dramatically) on how I’m feeling. “I’m going to file today! I don’t care anymore!” or “I’m going to stay and just love him through this”. I don’t really know what to do. I do still pray for him because I really don’t recognize him anymore and am concerned about his well being.

Whatever the case may be, I still believe that someone will love me and take their vows seriously. Whether it be him or not. So in the mean time, I will continue to stay rooted in the word, learning more about what it takes to truly make a marriage work, and just move forward with confidence that everything will be okay.

First off, I want to say thank you for everyone who left a comment here, on Facebook, tweeted me, prayed for me, and thought of me because of yesterday’s post. Even those who did not contact me directly, but sent up a prayer or thought for me, it’s greatly appreciated Your support means everything to me.

So how do you follow up a post like Truth Hurts? Well, you just do. I know it sounded like things were pretty final, and no, things haven’t changed. I haven’t spoken to my husband since Sunday, and I don’t think we’ll be talking any time in the immediate future, as in this week. I won’t be reaching out because I know things are still extremely tender between us, and while I may be ready to talk, he’s not, and that’s been a big issue in the past couple of months: me forcing him to talk when he’s not ready.

Divorce isn’t a reality until someone files the paperwork, and even then, in California, it takes at best 6 months for things to be finalized. I have no intentions of filing for divorce. Although I have looked into the process, I’m not interested in getting into it. So what is this strange period/stage that we’re in? Separation.

The past 2 conversations we’ve had, I begged for a separation as oppose to a divorce. Some have brought to my attention that for the past year, living separately, we have been separated. I didn’t consider it as such. I guess I had a thought of what separation was and that wasn’t it. So what does separation look like?

Being separated looks different for each couple, just like marriage looks different for each couple. In my mind and by how things have been going, we’ve been separated for almost a month now. The beginning of “the end” was an argument that took place a few days after Christmas and before the New Year. So I’ll take it as we’ve been separated since December 29.

Space

What happens during this time? At first, I thought we just desperately and wholeheartedly attack all the problems that we have. That strategy won’t work. So the first thing that happens is space. I admittedly have been afraid of space, which is what my husband has been asking for the past month. I took space as a threat to our marriage. My thought was, “how much more space do you need? We’re not living together, I’m not staying over regularly, our communication is mostly via text. What do you need space for?!” Space is for not just him, but for me too. I don’t know what he’s doing during this space that we’re not seeing or speaking to each other. Hopefully, cooling off, because there’s been a lot of anger coming my way from him. Thinking is one thing he says he needs to do during “space”. I’ve been thinking too.

The past couple days I’ve been thinking about our good times together. I miss our time together when we first moved in, before we even got engaged. This time was pre-blog, and we lived in an apartment together. I loved that apartment. It felt like home. We both worked full time, and opposite schedules for the most part, but our time together was special. Doing nothing really but enjoying each other’s presence. There was an understanding to get bills paid and not so much pressure. This was B.M.: before marriage.

Praying

Prayer is a huge component of a separation, at least in my marriage. My husband is a church-going man, but I honestly don’t know if he’s been praying or not, or if he is, what he’s been praying for. I’ve been praying that God soften his heart and open his mind, that he has forgiveness in his heart, that he realize his mistakes and repent for them, and that he finds what he’s looking for. I do have a feeling he’s depressed, and because I can relate, I pray that he doesn’t find shame in his feelings (whether it’s depression or anything else) and that he sees that I am here to support him, not to hurt him, and that he feels confident enough to trust me.

I’m not just praying that God changes him, but also that God changes me. One commenter made a note that maybe I’m the problem, and believe me, I’ve thought that too. Maybe some of my posts come off as pointing all my fingers at my husband, but I’m no angel. I know I do things that I shouldn’t, and that drive him crazy. I’d be the first to admit that. So I ask God to show me things I need to change, and to help me change them. The Serenity Prayer definitely has been coming in handy lately as well.

As for the next stages in separation, I don’t know. It depends on how these 2 things go. If space and prayer lead us to the next stage of reconciliation, I most definitely see counseling in our future. Some have suggested that I go to counseling either way, and I do. I have gone to counseling on and off the past few years, and I definitely think it helps. Some of the problems I go through are because of my relationship and some are independent of my relationship. So it’s necessary for me either way it goes. My prayer is that my husband would be open to going to counseling, both with me and by himself, because I do believe it will help.

So that’s where I am today. Emotionally, I’m feeling better than I did a few days ago. Still have a way to go, but I’m staying optimistic.

We are officially 3 weeks into the new year. 2013 has already been quite the year. Whether that’s negative or positive at this point is still up for debate. I write this post with a heavy heart and a naked ring finger. My husband informed me, via text message no less, that he does not want to be married anymore.

When I first got the text message that he was “done”, I had a panic attack at work, and asked to leave. I deserved to hear these words face to face rather than to read it across my iPhone screen. Crying while driving, as dangerous as that is, and texting demanding to know what was going on, also dangerous, I arrived at his home. I returned my keys weeks ago, so I rang the doorbell. When he answered, I told him excuse me, because he insisted he had no time to speak with me, so I was there to speak with his parents.

That drama went on last week and ended with me asking him for a few more months to just see how things go. He nodded his head. This past Sunday I offered to give him back the MacBook I asked for back, because I had no need for it. He said that wouldn’t fix things between us and we were over, done, and he was not interested in being married anymore. Again, words via text message. I begged and cried and kept getting “no” “we’re done” “I’m over it”.

I was a mess on Sunday, because I have given my all to my relationship. I have made sacrifice after sacrifice, worked hard, invested blood, sweat, tears (many tears), money, and time. To be slapped in my face with rejection via text messages. For reasons like “you caused a scene at my house” (I didn’t; he was the one yelling at me outside) “everyone is in our business” (I asked my family and his what I should do, not what I would call people in our business), “my friends are talking about your blog” (I had no idea any of his friends read my blog, because he has never mentioned it to me aside from one incident last year which was addressed. But for those “friends” who feel the need to gossip about us, can you comfortably call yourself a “friend”?)

People have been asking me if I think  it’s someone else. I honestly don’t think so, and not because I asked and he told me no. I don’t think so because, honestly, who else would put up with all of this? When I respond with this, people laugh uncomfortably and nod in agreement. But there is someone else, or at least something else: music.

The person I married is gone. Whoever this new person is, Tej Blaze, is involved with something else called music. Common made a song called “I Used to Love Her” where her was affectionately referred to as hip hop. That’s what my husband is in love with. That’s what he’s willing to throw away our marriage for. He wants so badly to be an artist and a rapper and a storyteller that he will use any and all available time and funds to make music. When I would ask for weekends together, he’d claim he had music to mix. I want to stay during the weekdays after work, he has to record. He needed the computer to edit their music video. It’s all about his music.

I am hurt beyond belief, to the point where I feel it in my soul. My best friend and love of my life is gone. I don’t know who this new person is, but he has no time or love for me. And that hurts. I definitely cry from the way he’s treated me these past few weeks/months, but I cry even more at the thought that my best friend is gone. When I brought up the commitment we made to each other and the covenant we made before God, he didn’t acknowledge it. That scares me, because he’s a man of God.

I stand by the fact that I do not want to get a divorce. Both of my parents got divorced and I see what it does to families. It doesn’t just destroy those 2 people who were once one. I didn’t sign up for a part time marriage or a throw away one for that matter. But the fact still remains he doesn’t want me anymore. He doesn’t want to be married. His wife is music, not Briana. And that truth hurts.