Katie pitched a captivating guest post and we’re happy to share it with you! If you would like to guest post for TwentyTwenty, let us know! Email us at blogs@20sb.net.

—-

I started my blog back in September of 2006. I was twenty-two, working at a company I’d wanted to work at for years in my first full-time job, and had just moved into my first apartment.

Although I blogged quite frequently back then, no one who read my blog during that time would have known what a neurotic wreck I was. It’s a long, complicated, kind of awesome story, but here’s the Reader’s Digest version.

• After three months, I got fired from that low-paying job at the company I was dying to work for. My boss said I’d made too many mistakes, and while I felt horribly guilty at the time, in retrospect I don’t think I did anything too terrible. She did say the company would be open to hiring me for something else.
• I was devastated and told no one besides my roommate and my parents and pretended to everyone else that I still worked there.
• After a month and a half of miserable temp jobs, I got a call from the HR guy at my old company, who said that they were bringing in temps to fill open positions. He wanted me to fill a job in a different department.
• I ended up loving that temp job, which was full-time and lasted almost six months. I was actually good at it, too. But for financial reasons, rather than hire me, they moved positions around to cover it, and I was out.
• I spent the next two months desperately trying to find work, avoiding all my friends for fear of them asking me about my job, suffering from every psychosomatic illness known to man, and spending every spare second on WebMD, trying to figure out which fatal illness those psychosomatic symptoms meant I had.
• I finally got an interview with a rival company and accepted a job offer soon after.
• Four months into my new job, which I loved, I got a promotion.
• The same week I got promoted, I found out that my new company was buying my old company. Six months later, several of my old coworkers, including the boss who’d fired me, came to work with me again. (Seriously. You can’t make this shit up.)

Seeing as I didn’t even tell some of my closest friends about all this, it might not surprise you to learn that not a word of this made it onto my blog.

It might not seem like a big deal now—plenty of people deal with worse things every day— but at the time, being fired was devastating. I didn’t know anyone else who had been fired, at least not for something that was their fault. I couldn’t imagine what people would say about me if they knew.

Earlier this year, I joined 20sb. I started frequenting the forums and connecting with as many bloggers as I could.

It amazed me what these friendly, funny, fascinating people were sharing about themselves online. Sex lives. Messy breakups. Mental health issues. Divorce. Ends of friendships. Family conflict. Parenting struggles. Embarrassing moments. And yes, plenty of other people had blogged about getting fired.

I started taking a good, hard look at my blog, and my life. My blog was called “Struggling Single Twenty-Something,” but I wasn’t writing about my struggles. I was writing about pieces of me that could have been pieces of anyone. Why was it so hard for me to laugh at myself? Why couldn’t I admit to the mistakes I’d made, the dumb things I’d done, the parts of myself that I wanted to change?

So I started taking more risks in my blogging. I added a list of 100 things about me, some of them not so flattering. I started a new feature on “awkward stories,” where I wrote about dumb things I’d done. I wrote about my hatred of secondhand smoke, sharing an opinion that I knew that not everyone agreed with. And I started participating in the Karaoke Ring of Death, putting videos of myself singing and dancing goofily out there on the Internet.

I still have not blogged about my early job struggles for career reasons, but I have since told many friends about everything, and their reactions were compassionate.

Allowing myself the freedom not to care if I look like an idiot online has made me less self-conscious in real life, too. When I started working at my current company, I was terrified, thinking that history would repeat itself. But when I recently started a new job at the company I’ve been working at for four years, I went into it full of confidence and hope. There’s a quote from Richard Russo’s Empire Falls that I think applies here: “Not giving a shit, she’s decided, is like the defrost option on a car’s heater that miraculously unfogs the windshield, allowing you to see where you’re headed.”

So I want to thank my fellow bloggers for what they’ve shown me: honesty and confidence in blogging can lead to more honesty and confidence in life. By writing about my life—my real, true, warts-and-all life—my life has been re-written.

—-

Katie lives in the Boston area, rides the T, bitches about the T, writes in her spare time, works in textbook publishing, never leaves home without a book in her purse, watches good TV, watches bad TV, cheers for the Red Sox, misses her alma mater (Boston College), makes playlists, sings, swims, runs, sleeps late, takes bubble baths, drinks hot chocolate, reads newspapers, paints her nails, wants to marry Michael Phelps, searches for the love of her life on dating websites, and blogs about it all at Struggling Single Twenty-Something.

Your badge, my dears.

We’re happy to announce our 2012 Bootleg Award Winners. These awards are run annually and are nominated and voted upon by you, the members of 20 Something Bloggers.   Remember, it’s an honor to be nominated, too.

If you see names you don’t recognize below, this is your chance to check out bloggers who really stand out as writers, creators, and members of our community.

Thank you to everyone who participated in this year’s Bootleg Awards, and congratulations to all of our winners!

Note: We have badges for you winners!  If you don’t hear from us feel free to shoot an email to community@20sb.net and we’ll send you your particular award’s winner’s badge.

2012 20SB Bootleg Award Winners!

Most Distinctive Voice

Lorraine

Late to the Party

http://www.20sb.net/profile/RoxanneandLorraine

Most Inspiring

Alex Proaps

The Tao of Grad School

http://www.20sb.net/profile/AlexProaps

Most Interesting

Amy B

Second City Randomness

http://www.20sb.net/profile/MissBax

Most NSFW

Sara Nipples

Sara Swears a Lot

http://www.20sb.net/profile/SaraLadner

Funniest Blogger

Jenn

Bottle Up the Crazy

http://www.20sb.net/profile/freeandflawed

Most Opinionated

Ana Fernatt

Accidentally Sexy

http://www.20sb.net/profile/AnaFernatt

Least Likely to Be “Marked As Read”

Writing to Reach You

Writing to Reach You

http://www.20sb.net/profile/writingtoreachyou

Blogger I’d Most Like to Get a Drink With

Katie

Katie Blogs

http://www.20sb.net/profile/katieblogs

Sexiest Male Blogger

Ian Holland

Dutchface

http://www.20sb.net/profile/Dutchface

Sexiest Female Blogger

Harley

1., b., Platypus…

http://www.20sb.net/profile/harley

Best Commenter

Erin McCarthy

The Post Modern Talko

http://www.20sb.net/profile/ErinMcCarthy

Best Vlogger

Phampants

Phampants

http://www.20sb.net/profile/phampants

Best Group Blog

Childhood Trauma

Best Twitter

Miss Sassy Pants

A Few French Fries Short of a Happy Meal

http://www.20sb.net/profile/misssassypants

Newbie Award

Jorah Day

Terminally Beautiful

http://www.20sb.net/profile/JorahDay

Last Chance Award

Nuggles

That Ain’t Kosher

http://www.20sb.net/profile/ThatAintKosher

Best of the 2011 Featured Bloggers

Sweeney

Sweeney Says

http://www.20sb.net/profile/SweeneySays

Best Male Overall

Ian Holland

Dutchface

http://www.20sb.net/profile/Dutchface

Best Female Overall

Writing to Reach You

Writing to Reach You

http://www.20sb.net/profile/writingtoreachyou

Best 20sb Contributor Overall

Gina D

Fantasy Casting

http://www.20sb.net/profile/GinaD129

Congrats to all our winners!

We’ve tallied up all the nominations and the Bootleg finalists are here! For those of you just tuning in, here’s a quick overview:

What is a Bootleg?

The Bootleg Awards are the annual awards give to 20sb members by their peers. We opened up the free form on December 4^th and collected nominations from the community until just last week.

How were the finalists chosen?

By you! The 20sb team counted all the submitted nominations and took the top five scoring nominees (sometimes more depending on ties). None of the finalists were chosen by the 20sb team in any way, shape or form. This is all about the community!

What’s the next step?

VOTE. That’s the only way to help your favorite bloggers get chosen. Follow the link below to the finalist voting form. Each 20sb member can vote once -and only once- for their favorites.

VOTING WILL REMAIN OPEN UNTIL JANUARY 15!

Cast your vote here: 2012 Bootleg Award Finalist Voting!

Who are the finalists?

On the voting form they are listed by their 20sb profiles. We’ve included a list with their names and blog links as well as their 20sb profiles.

Most Distinctive Voice

- Cuileann     . Eating a Tangerine . http://www.20sb.net/profile/cuileann

- Erin McCarthy     . The Post Modern Talko . http://www.20sb.net/profile/ErinMcCarthy

- Jorah Day       . Terminally Beautiful . http://www.20sb.net/profile/JorahDay

- Lorraine     . Late to the Party . http://www.20sb.net/profile/RoxanneandLorraine

Most Inspiring

- Alex Proaps       . The Tao of Grad School . http://www.20sb.net/profile/AlexProaps

- Erin McNaughton     . Analyfe . http://www.20sb.net/profile/analyfe

- Chelsea    . Chelsea Talks Smack . http://www.20sb.net/profile/ChelseaTalksSmack

- Risha      . You Can Read Me Anything . http://www.20sb.net/profile/rishaaa

- Wishcake      . Your Wishcake . http://www.20sb.net/profile/wishcake

Most Interesting

- Jorah Day      . Terminally Beautiful . http://www.20sb.net/profile/JorahDay

- Kyla Roma      . Kyla Roma . http://www.20sb.net/profile/KylaRoma

- Amy B     . Second City Randomness . http://www.20sb.net/profile/MissBax

- Risha      . You Can Read Me Anything . http://www.20sb.net/profile/rishaaa

Most NSFW

- Danaconda    . From the head of the Danaconda . http://www.20sb.net/profile/Danaconda

- Mounting Counting  . Mounting and Counting . http://www.20sb.net/profile/MountingCountinganonymous

- Natalie Paige     . Awkward Sex and the City . http://www.20sb.net/profile/NataliePaige

- Rabbit     . Rachel Rabbit White . http://www.20sb.net/profile/Rachel621

- Sara Nipples     . Sara Swears a Lot . http://www.20sb.net/profile/SaraLadner

Funniest Blogger

- Jennifer     . Bottle Up the Crazy . http://www.20sb.net/profile/freeandflawed

- Justin      . Leftists Have No Rights . http://www.20sb.net/profile/Justinsblogpagething

- Lily (Diva Boob)     . Is it too early for a martini? . http://www.20sb.net/profile/lilye

- Lorraine     . Late to the Party . http://www.20sb.net/profile/RoxanneandLorraine

- Sara Nipples     . Sara Swears a Lot . http://www.20sb.net/profile/SaraLadner

Most Opinionated

- Ana Fernatt     . Accidentally Sexy . http://www.20sb.net/profile/AnaFernatt.

- Rachel (LiLu)     . The Southified Masshole . http://www.20sb.net/profile/rachaelgk

- Alexandra Tsaritsa     . The Tsaritsa Sez . http://www.20sb.net/profile/Alexandra720

Least Likely to Be Marked as Read

- Brandy is Magic      . It’s like I’m… mmmagic! . http://www.20sb.net/profile/brainyjane22

- Jennifer     . Bottle Up the Crazy . http://www.20sb.net/profile/freeandflawed

- Lorraine     . Late to the Party . http://www.20sb.net/profile/RoxanneandLorraine

- Sara Nipples     . Sara Swears a Lot . http://www.20sb.net/profile/SaraLadner

- Writing to Reach   . Writing to Reach You . http://www.20sb.net/profile/writingtoreachyou

Blogger I’d Most Like to Get a Drink With

- Miss Sassy Pants   . A Few French Fries Short of a Happy Meal . http://www.20sb.net/profile/misssassypants

- Danaconda    . From the head of the Danaconda . http://www.20sb.net/profile/Danaconda

- Gabatron     . When Life Give You Vodka . http://www.20sb.net/profile/GabbyMcCone

- Katie      . Katie Blogs . http://www.20sb.net/profile/katieblogs

- Melbourne on my mind     . A Quick Succession of Busy Nothings . http://www.20sb.net/profile/Melbourneonmymind

- Sweeney    . Sweeney Says . http://www.20sb.net/profile/SweeneySays

- Writing to Reach   . Writing to Reach You . http://www.20sb.net/profile/writingtoreachyou

Sexiest Male Blogger

- Andres Rio     . Good Music, Bad Math . http://www.20sb.net/profile/AndresRio

- NoOrdinaryBen    . No Ordinary Roller Coaster . http://www.20sb.net/profile/BenjaminBoudreau

- Ian Holland     . Dutchface . http://www.20sb.net/profile/Dutchface

- Justin      . Leftists Have No Rights . http://www.20sb.net/profile/Justinsblogpagething

Sexiest Female Blogger

- Harley Jane     . Magpie Attraction . http://www.20sb.net/profile/harley

- Amy B     . Second City Randomness . http://www.20sb.net/profile/MissBax

- Coyote Tits     . Dancing on the Bar of Life . http://www.20sb.net/profile/CoyoteRose

- Skinny Dip     . Skinny Dip . http://www.20sb.net/profile/SkinnyDip

Best Commentor

- Shane Pilgrim     . 500 Days of Shaneiferd . http://www.20sb.net/profile/ShanePilgrim

- Erin McCarthy     . The Post Modern Talko . http://www.20sb.net/profile/ErinMcCarthy

Best Vlogger

- Erin McCarthy     . The Post Modern Talko . http://www.20sb.net/profile/ErinMcCarthy

- Ginny     . Ginny is Sassy . http://www.20sb.net/profile/Ginny

- Jas     . Smile Big and Pretty . http://www.20sb.net/profile/jasafrass

- Nicopolitan     . Nicopolitan . http://www.20sb.net/profile/nicopolitan

- Phampants     . Phampants . http://www.20sb.net/profile/phampants

- Rachelskirts     . Rachelskirts . http://www.20sb.net/profile/rachelskirts

- Sweeney    . Sweeney Says . http://www.20sb.net/profile/SweeneySays

- Writing to Reach   . Writing to Reach You . http://www.20sb.net/profile/writingtoreachyou

Best Group Blog

WINNER: Sweeney, Lorraine, Lily (Diva Boob), Nugs and Sara Nipples    . Childhood Trauma

(Note: No other nominee received more than one vote.)

Best Twitter(er)

- Gina      . Fantasy Casting . http://www.20sb.net/profile/GinaD129

- Miss Sassy Pants   . A Few French Fries Short of a Happy Meal . http://www.20sb.net/profile/misssassypants

- Writing to Reach   . Writing to Reach You . http://www.20sb.net/profile/writingtoreachyou

Newbie Award

WINNER: Joray Day      . Terminally Beautiful . http://www.20sb.net/profile/JorahDay

(Note: No other nominee received more than one vote.)

Last Chance Award

- Brandy is Magic      . It’s like I’m… mmmagic! . http://www.20sb.net/profile/brainyjane22

- Nuggles     . That Ain’t Kosher . http://www.20sb.net/profile/ThatAintKosher

Best of the 2011 Featured Bloggers

- Jas     . Smile Big and Pretty . http://www.20sb.net/profile/jasafrass

- Lauren Lankford    . Lauren Nicole . http://www.20sb.net/profile/laurenlankford

- Sweeney    . Sweeney Says . http://www.20sb.net/profile/SweeneySays

Best Male Overall

- Tim King    . Alert the Audience . http://www.20sb.net/profile/alerttheaudience

- NoOrdinaryBen    . No Ordinary Roller Coaster . http://www.20sb.net/profile/BenjaminBoudreau

- Dave      . The Fiction Factory . http://www.20sb.net/profile/DavidShortt

- Ian Holland     . Dutchface . http://www.20sb.net/profile/Dutchface

- Shane Pilgrim     . 500 Days of Shaneiferd . http://www.20sb.net/profile/ShanePilgrim

Best Female Overall

- Hannah     . Hannah J. Holmes . http://www.20sb.net/profile/HannahJHolmes

- Lorraine     . Late to the Party . http://www.20sb.net/profile/RoxanneandLorraine

- Sweeney    . Sweeney Says . http://www.20sb.net/profile/SweeneySays

- Writing to Reach   . Writing to Reach You . http://www.20sb.net/profile/writingtoreachyou

Best 20sb Contributor Overall

- Gina      . Fantasy Casting . http://www.20sb.net/profile/GinaD129

- Lorraine     . Late to the Party . http://www.20sb.net/profile/RoxanneandLorraine

- Nuggles     . That Ain’t Kosher . http://www.20sb.net/profile/ThatAintKosher

Happy Voting!

Congratulations to our newest featured blogger, Erin!

A little bit about Erin, in her own words:

Somewhere during college I stopped giving myself haircuts. This has seriously impacted my level of cool. I’m like Samson in reverse now and sadly my milkshake brings exactly none of the boys to the yard. I consider myself more of a geek than a nerd–I don’t know any programing languages and my number sense in general is, “meh” at best. No idea what the date is, you couldn’t get me to care how long I had been somewhere without waterboarding me. Also, how this conversation started, I am never interested. Just keep talking.
I have a heart sickness that only travel can cure. If I live in a city long enough to keep plants I start masturbating to flight plans I dig up on the internet. I play a lot of video games and listen to music like I invented the hobby. I’ve never invented anything really, but as a child I thought I invented the highest number in the world. I called it, “infinity-plus-one.” You’ve heard of it? Well, what can I say, I’m that good.

Make sure you add Erin’s blog The Post Modern Talko to your reader and follow her on twitter!

Want to nominate someone for Featured Blogger? Head to the February voting thread and show them some love!

In four and a half years, 20SB has grown from a single member, our fearless founder Lisa, to 19,000 personal bloggers from around the world. Meet #19,000, Megan, and say hey to our most recent members!

In four and a half years, we’ve witnessed 20SB relationships turn into engagements.

In four and a half years, we’ve witnessed members travel across the world thanks to the beautiful world of blogging and 20SB.

In four and a half years, we’ve seen our 20SB friends go from anonymous blogs to jobs in social media.

In four and a half years, we’ve put together a ton of events, including nine blog swaps, three Bootleg Awards, vlog days, and blog carnivals with cash prizes.

In four and a half years, we’ve established the 20SB Summit, celebrating the inaugural meeting this past August.

In four and a half years, we’ve assembled a team of driven bloggers to help build and maintain the community.

In four and a half years, we’ve featured 62 bloggers, all selected by their peers.
Do you remember when you joined?  What drew you to the community?  What are some of your favorite 20SB moments?

It’s time for the 2012 20SB Bootleg Awards!

The Bootleg Awards are run annually and are nominated and voted upon by you, the members of 20 Something Bloggers. Basically, open nominations for each category are taken and the person with the most votes in each category wins. In the spirit of fairness, each person can only win one category, with the exception of best male/female overall.

Nominations will remain open until December 21.
We will then tally nominations and vote on finalists from January 2-January 15.
Finally, we will announce the 2012 Bootleg Award winners on January 18!

Make sure to get your nominations and votes in and give some props to the bloggers you love the most! The nomination form appears at the end of this post or can be accessed here.
Remember, only 20sb members can be nominated and you cannot nominate yourself.

THE CATEGORIES
Most Distinctive Voice: This blogger is someone whose blogging style sets them apart from everyone else. They are unique and awesome. You know their posts when you see them because they are who they are.

Most Inspiring: Pretty self-explanatory, this should be someone who makes you think and motivates you to do something, whether that be joining their cause or just being better at life, this person makes you think.

Most Interesting: This broad category can be for any blogger you find intriguing.

Most NSFW: NSFW stands for “Not Safe for Work.” These are the bloggers who blog about the scandalous stuff that we all love to read, but might get us fired if our bosses catch us.

Funniest Blogger: You know that blogger that almost made you choke on that turkey sandwich you were eating while reading blogs on your lunch break? That’s this guy (or girl).

Most Opinionated: Different from Most Distinctive, this should be the person that puts their opinions out there no matter what. They are the ones who always have something to say and say it they do!

Least Likely to “Be Marked As Read”: This is the person whose posts you never want to miss. Like ever.

Blogger I’d Like to Get a Drink With: Anyone who you think would be fun to see drunk or be drunk with. No clothes required.

Sexiest Blogger Male/Sexiest Blogger Female: We decided to give these gender specific awards this year so nominate your picks for both the Sexiest Male and Female blogger here. Who is sexy to you? This could be based on physical appearance but also a “sexy vibe” (in a non-Zoolander type way of course).

Best Comments: Who gives them? Whose do you love to see?

Best Vlogger: We all know how awkward vlogging can be… who does it well?

Best Group Blog: There are a variety of these at 20SB. Think about the ones who do it well. The ones who have a chorus of voices that make for a great blog.

Best Twitter(er): Whose Tweets are the shiz? Who Tweets most often?

Newbie Award: Think about someone who just started at 20SB but may already be emerging as a shinning star.

Last Chance Award: This award is for somebody who turned 30 in 2011 and will therefore be ineligible for awards in the future!

Best of the 2011 Featured Bloggers: Make sure to check out the forums to see who the featured bloggers were for 2011 and pick your fave.
Best Male Overall and Best Female Overall: Think about those bloggers who are just incredible. The ones who do it right and do it well. The ones who you aspire to be like. The ones who you are, let’s face it, slightly jealous of. Nominate those deserving bloggers here.

Best 20sb Contributor Overall: You know that person who is always in the chats each time you sign on and always has a thoughtful forum comment? Give them some love y’all.

Remember, the only way someone can get nominated for the Bootleg Awards is by you so get out there and nominate your fellow 20SB community.

Nomination form:

Congratulations to our newest featured blogger, Gina!

A little bit about Gina, in her own words:

I love reading. I love movies. I blog about books and movies and books becoming movies and books versus movies. I took a class in college called “Film and Literature” where we read a novel, watched the movie and analyzed the differences between the two. Somehow, I think the concept seeped into my subconscious and created a monster. I love fantasy and I hate chick lit. I like books and movies that make me laugh, not cry. I read political memoirs and religious debate books, even though I’m deeply entrenched in my beliefs on both fronts.

I am a stay at home mom, with three little boys, the oldest of which is 5. I homeschool. I love cooking and baking. I owned a cake decorating company for a couple of years until I moved to a new state and didn’t want to file the business paperwork again. Now I just do it for friends and family. My husband, who I have been with since 2003, is a law student and the funniest guy I know. Our free time is spent going to Disneyworld, watching old TV shows on DVD and making fun of strangers.

Make sure you add Gina’s blog Fantasy Casting to your reader and follow her on twitter!

Want to nominate someone for Featured Blogger? Head to the January voting thread and show them some love!

On Monday, three American students were arrested and detained in Cairo.

One of them, Derrik Sweeney, is the brother of 20sb member Nicole Sweeney. A lot of you probably know her; she’s been Featured Blogger and is very active on the boards.

She’s also a very close IRL friend of a number of our bloggers.

Coverage here. Nicole’s post here.

We realize the circumstances of Derrik’s arrest are controversial, but the situation in Egypt is frighteningly opaque and unpredictable, so our feeing is that Nicole’s family deserves our support.

How You Can Help

The primary concern seems to be that the boys haven’t been allowed to contact anyone; Nicole’s family hasn’t spoken to their son.

We think this is one of those unique circumstances in which the entire network can lend a hand in spreading awareness.

Let your readers know what’s happening, or drop a comment on Nicole’s blog or 20SB profile. Comment on this post. If you’re on twitter use the following hashtag to spread the word:

#bringderriksweeneyhome

Know Someone?

If you know someone or have a connection to someone in Cairo or the State Department, please contact Nicole directly:

nicole [at] sweeneysays [dot] com

http://www.sweeneysays.com/

@sweeneysays

Mister Smalls pitched an insightful guest post and we’re happy to share it with you! If you would like to guest post for TwentyTwenty, let us know! Email us at blogs@20sb.net.

See the first part of this post here.

—

I worked hard at college.  I tried to put my past in my past but it was always there.  My attitude toward rules was to break them, but now I have to follow them to fit the norm.  After a rough adjustment period and learning to take orders, I became comfortable with the college lifestyle and started to enjoy my classes.

It helped that my first day, of college, was English101.  I promised myself that I would hold back nothing.  The Professor wanted us to write a five-page narrative about what we did on Saturdays, as a child.  I raised my hand and asked her,

“Do you want me to be honest?” She answered: Yes. Then I replied. “Okay! But don’t use this as evidence against me.”

The class got a laugh out of it but I wasn’t laughing.  I was afraid of what the students would think if they knew, as a child, my weekends were filled with drug distribution, peddling illegal firearms, and fighting dogs.  I didn’t want good people to know my life was all about violence.  I didn’t want the disappointed look that good people give me to be given to me here.

I went home that night and wrote, by the time I was finished my five page paper was twenty-five.  The words, descriptions, and story flowed out of my fingertip onto the monitor.

I entitled the narrative: Saturday Night Fights

After the Professor read the story, she asked did I make it up.  When I said no she gave me the face and handed me the essay with red writing that said 96.  She said it was so graphic, she cried, and was haunted by it.

It wasn’t until my second year, of college, when Professor John Sheehan told me I had a unique voice in my writing that I figured out I had the talent to do something with it.  Professor Sheehan claimed that when I wrote, he was never bored, especially after reading hours of uninteresting topics. I enjoyed writing my essays but wanted more.  I began reading blogs.

M.C. Search wrote the first blog I ever read.  I thought to myself: I could do that.  I needed a way in, so I made a phone call to the first person I ever asked about blogs.  She read a few of my essays and agreed that I needed to at least try and blog.  I looked at her and said,

“I don’t know what to blog about?  Look at me, whatever I blog about is going to offend someone.  I’m direct, mean, and curse more than a trucker.”

“Don’t worry about it.”  She said.  “Just blog for you and everything else will follow.”

I felt like a sellout. Here is big bad Mister Smalls, who wears a chain, is tattooed up, and ends all of his sentences with, nah mean, about to write blogs.

I felt like a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

I felt like I wasn’t going to belong.

I felt like those mid-western kids who shave their heads and said they were always Nazis.

My friend gave me a push and in August 2010 mistersmalls.blogspot.com was created and my persona Mister Smalls was born!  My first blog was about my dysfunctional family and it was okay.  It wasn’t my best work but it was a start.

I started getting feedback from friends, family, and complete strangers on how they enjoyed my writings; and with every complement came confidence and the blogging kept coming.

I was the atheist that became a pastor.

I was the blind that was able to see.

I was the anti-blogger that became the blogger.

Life has changed for me and I no longer think of myself as the gangsta anymore.  I receive more gratification writing and blogging than I ever did peddling drugs or fighting.  My sly one-liner jokes and quips go a lot further written than they do spoken.

I am a blogger, I may not have a huge following, but at least my blogs are out there for people to see.  I’ve learned through trial and error, misspelled words, run-on sentences, and grammar issues that I have a long ways to go to be perfect at blogging; but it has probably saved me from spending a lot of my time behind bars or ending up dead.

I thought the making of a tough guy was to be fast-talking and never leave home without my gun and bulletproof vest.  What I have come to find out is a tough guy is one who can put words on paper and take criticism for it.

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Find Mister Smalls: Blog | Twitter | 20sb

Mister Smalls pitched an insightful guest post and we’re happy to share it with you! If you would like to guest post for TwentyTwenty, let us know! Email us at blogs@20sb.net.

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I first heard the word ‘blog’ about 10 years ago.  I don’t remember where I heard it, but I do remember being baffled by this word. BLOG? I asked myself: What is a blog?  Is it a new exercise fad?  Does it involve some sort of monster that materializes from a swamp?  Does it glow in the dark?

I asked a friend of mine if she had ever heard of this mysterious thing people called a blog.

“Simply put, it’s an online journal,” she said. “You can write about happy stuff, sad stuff, any stuff, really. Write what’s on your mind, your opinions. “

She then went on to tell me that she herself was in fact a blogger. Based on her explanation and what I understood blogs to be, I thought they were just an outlet for computer nerds to bitch and complain about life.

I thought people who wrote blogs were the angry college kids who didn’t have talent enough to make it as a real writer or reporter for a magazine or newspaper.

I thought of them as the Emo kids who didn’t get Mommy’s attention and sat inside and played Dungeons and Dragons every day in high school while listening to a mix of Disturbed and Marilyn Manson.

Once I learned what a blog was I moved on with my life, not thinking about it another moment.  Not once did I even consider trying to write a blog. I was seventeen years old. My lifestyle wasn’t that of a writer. I was captain of the football team. I enjoyed the outdoors and I was always being active.  I had no time to sit behind a computer typing everyday.

Over the coming years, the Internet grew and blogging started to grow along with it.  I heard the word much more often, but still wasn’t interested enough to explore it.

Meanwhile, I grew older and became a man; I developed a longing for being the “gangsta” type.  I did things that, at the time, that gave me street credit, or as you might have heard of it referred to ‘Street-Cred’.

I’ve sold drugs.  I’ve been shot at.  I’ve sat in the back of police cars.  I’ve felt that rush of fear wondering if you’re going to get caught doing something you’re not supposed to be doing.

To sum up my early manhood, I’ve seen the types of things that Notorious B.I.G, better known as the famous rapper Biggie Smalls, wrote about in his lyrics; ‘Touch my cheddar, feel my berretta…etc.,etc.’ I was so deep into the “gangsta” lifestyle that it consumed me.  It wasn’t until a major event I’ve coined as “the shootout” that I thought maybe there was an alternate way to live life that didn’t have me face-to-face with the law and even death.

I decided that I needed a change in hobbies.  Although I won battles I knew I couldn’t win the war.  I didn’t know what I wanted to do.  I knew I was good at driving, breaking the law, and fighting but I also knew these skill couldn’t adapt to the real world.  So I decided to take a few years and attend college.  This was one of the most frightening things I’ve ever attempted.

I was in fear of not being able to fit in.

I was in fear of being exposed.

I was in fear failure.

The future was unknown for me, and I had no idea that blogging would come back into my life.

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Find Mister Smalls: Blog | Twitter | 20sb

Stay tuned for the second half of this post!

About the author:

Twenty-eight year old ex-financial specialist turned wanna-be writer. Also known as Iggy, Turtle, and Big Bob. Fan of.Dexter, True Blood, Howard the Duck, and theater.  After 10 years as a financial adjuster for a collection company, I turned in my headset and cubicle for a life of writing. My goal is to have a book published, and to get my story out there.  My blog is a compilation of stories, quips, and thoughts on life that often go through my head. What started off as something that I made fun of, blogging has become my way of getting my thoughts, fears, and dreams out there.  Recently, I took the Briggs-Myers test and discovered I am an INTJ, along with Hannibal Lecter and Clarice Starling. In that moment, my entire life made more sense.
I don’t claim to be perfect. My grammar might be off, I may spell a word or ten wrong, but what I can promise is that each and every single blog post is done from an honest place. I put my heart and soul into each person.