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Quarter-life crisis

If you’re a young professional, you’re probably not surprised by the idea of a “quarter-life crisis.”  You’ve probably experienced this ever-growing phenomenon yourself.  You’re not completely satisfied by your job, you’re not sure what to do with your life, you see your friends and family moving on with their own, and you’re stuck in a perpetual state of confusion about who you are.  Older people may regard the idea of such a crisis as a joke, but we know that such a thing is all-too-real.

If this sounds familiar, you’re probably wondering how to make a change.  The common way out is to look for a new job.  A lot of times, this can be immensely helpful, especially if you’re already settled in your personal life and you’re happy with your current industry.  But for many, getting a new job probably won’t help.  A lot of young professionals are saddled with curiosity about how their lives might be if they were to just get up, move somewhere, and start over.

I’m sure you’ve wondered how your life would be if you did the same?  Tell me I’m wrong.

For most, this is just a fantasy – something to dreamily ponder while you’re writing your TPS report at work.  Most people will never actually get to the point of walking away from their friends, family, comfortable (but probably boring) job, and everything else in their current life in an effort to push themselves out of their comfort zone and start something brand new.

My suggestion: don’t be “that guy” (or girl, whatever).

Change your location

If you’re really uncomfortable with your current life and you know that a small change won’t help, try picking up your things and heading to a different part of the world.  Your move doesn’t have to be drastic – I’m not suggesting you go from California to Malaysia, or even from Los Angeles to DC.  All you need to do is get yourself to a place where things will be unfamiliar and you’ll be forced to meet new people, make new friends, discover new places, and find yourself a bit.  It truly is amazing what a change of scenery can do for your personal life.  Oftentimes, after a couple of months in your new location, you’ll feel a new sense of purpose and inspiration (not to mention happiness) that you just wouldn’t have gotten from your old life.  Don’t be surprised to suddenly find yourself with a renewed sense of determination and a new set of goals that you’re extremely motivated to work towards.

But if you do decide to pack your bags and buy that plane ticket, use a little common sense.  If you’re not the type of person that can easily meet new people, try to join a program in your new destination that will naturally lead to you making new friends.  You could try changing jobs with your current company, starting school, moving through your religious group, or placing into a service organization.  Just make sure that you set yourself up to succeed at your new location.

On the same note, it would be smart for you to have something lined up at your new location before you actually went out there.  The appeal of moving to Europe and spending two months looking for a job is undeniable.  But after the six month mark rolls around and you find yourself with a depleted bank account and an eviction notice, you may start to wonder what you were thinking.  At least have some sort of plan for what you’ll do when you get to your new hometown.

Finally, make sure you’re ready to deal with the loss of daily contact with people you’re used to seeing every day.  Even though you’re itching for a change, you probably have several key people in your life that you need to keep in touch with, so be prepared to make an effort to periodically reach out to them.  It will be tough not seeing them as often as you’re used to, and you’ll definitely miss them, but if the move is worth it (and deep down you’ll know if it is or isn’t), then it’s a necessary hassle.

Wrapping up

There’s no doubt in my mind that moving to a new place and “starting fresh” is well worth it for some people.  You’ll know if it’s for you or not.  If you’ve always wondered whether you should do it, my suggestion would be to give it a try.  If you’re not tied down to your current city, have the flexibility to try something new, and have the guts to get out of your comfort zone, it’s something you won’t regret.  Even if you find that you don’t like your new “home,” ten years from now you probably won’t regret having tried it.

Moving won’t solve all your problems, and it’s not the best way to deal with unsolvable issues, but it is a great way to discover who you really are and find out what you truly value, not to mention, if you set yourself up for a successful move, it can be a lot of fun.

Give it a shot and let us know how things turned out for you.

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It’s no secret the economy sucks right now. As it has gotten more and more difficult to snag a permanent full time job, many people in their twenties are considering working for a temp agency to pay the bills. Working for a temp agency does have a few benefits, such as getting the opportunity to get your foot in the door of a specific company, but going the temp route does have major pitfalls. Although there are some people out there with temping success stories, there are scores of people whose experience with a temping agency was nothing short of a nightmare. As someone who’s worked with several different agencies on and off for years, I feel like I’ve almost become a temp agency expert. Although I’m sure there are reputable agencies out there, from my experience, problems abound.  Here are some things I experienced from the sketchtastic temping industry:

1. Your recruiter really doesn’t care about your career goals

The recruiter might seem all nice and supportive at the interview, but many recruiters will forget about you as soon as you walk out the door. They interview several people a day; that’s why it’s vital to make a follow up phone call to jog the recruiter’s memory and remind them you’re willing to take any job that comes up. Regardless of whether or not you have a degree in broadcasting or mechanical engineering, chances are high you’re going to get offered a job that involves data entry, answering phones, or stuffing envelopes all day. The good jobs are few and far between and are super hard to get.

2. The jobs that temp agencies advertise on job boards (such as Craigslist) are just examples of jobs they might have available

Go ahead and apply for that administrative assistant job, but when you get to the agency be prepared for the moment they tell you the job is no longer available. This is a ploy they use to get you into their office for an interview, so they can add you to their corral of other unemployed hopefuls.

3. A job might not really be temp-to-perm, even if they say it is

I stayed as a temp for one company a whole year. When it became obvious that I wasn’t going to get a formal job offer, I bolted. My advice, don’t even wait the full year. The longer you stay a temp at one company, the worse it looks on your resume. I’ve been on a couple of job interviews during which I was asked why I stayed a temp in one place that long.

4. Your agency will underpay you and withhold your paycheck if they think they can get away with it

At one place I worked, I found out I was making a dollar less an hour than the other temps who were doing the same work I was. My supervisor complained to my agency on my behalf and my hourly rate got bumped up. I got absolutely no apology or explanation from the temp agency. In regards to the withholding of the paycheck – not ethical, but it happens. When I left my last temp job without giving two weeks notice, the manager at the agency refused to deposit my check unless I gave her a full explanation of why I quit. That’s not a unique situation. I’ve heard of stories from other people who literally had to beg for their final paychecks.

5. Lastly, taking time off is a pain in the butt

Always ask your direct supervisor if you can take a day off. Never call the temp agency. The agency loses money when you don’t show up for work, so unless you’re in the midst of a life or death emergency, your recruiter will flip out on you over the phone. I’ve had supervisors who were nice enough to call the agency on my behalf when I needed time off.

Getting employment through an agency is easy since you only need basic skills, but the type of work you’ll get is not ideal. The lack of job benefits and low pay are concerns. If you’re really hard up on cash, working for a temp agency is the way to go, but if you go that route, continue applying for permanent positions and go on as many interviews as your can.

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‘Back to School’ signs are in every store window, snuggly fall clothes are creeping into the stores and cooler temperatures are merely weeks away – all this can mean only one thing – the long days of summer are coming to a close. But don’t panic yet – see summer out with a bang – a casual ‘End of Summer Party’! So here’s the plan:

1. Location, Location, Location

If you are fortunate enough to live by a beach, lake or river – fantastic, there’s the perfect location right there! If you’re really lucky, the location will allow fire pits, barbequing and alcohol. If so, you have no location problems.

For those less fortunate souls, there are backyards, balconies and rooftops. These are all great options which allow you to spend precious time outdoors. If your outdoor space is unsuitable, hazardous or just plain inaccessible – take the party inside. Just be sure to warn or invite the neighbors first. Sure, it’s not a nice as the beach but you can be resourceful – make it feel “summery.” For example, use fairy lights with wanton abandon, they make everything look prettier, a few lanterns and candles spaced throughout the area will give things a summery feel. Word to the wise, stop short of putting a load of sand in the living room to create ‘ambience.’  Trust me, you’ll regret that for weeks to come.

2. Beg, Borrow and Budget

Assuming you don’t have endless funding for this get-together, your best policy is to make your soiree an ‘interactive’ event. By interactive, I mean that guests should feel free, nay be encouraged, to bring their specialty dish for all to enjoy as well as their favorite tipple to enjoy and share. This will ensure that there will be a good variety of food and drinks, it and has the added advantage of allowing you to be able to afford the rent this month.

Nevertheless, you will likely have to pony up for certain party related products. Depending on the scale of your blowout, you will need the following:

Foods:

• Burgers, hotdogs and allied condiments – mustard, ketchup, onions
• Corn
• Fruit
• Chips and dips
• Side salads – potato salad or macaroni salad

Drinks:

• Water
• Sodas
• Beers
• Liquor of choice

Misc:

• Paper cups, plates
• Garbage Bags
• Napkins
• Garbage bags
• Plastic cutlery
• Garbage bags
• Aforementioned fairy lights, grass skirts and other summery decorations that really should be on sale by now.

Also, make sure that you have enough blankets, chairs or floor cushions to go around – that is where the begging and borrowing comes in.

3. Organize Foods in Advance

Be assured, the food preparation will take longer that you would like, so start early and get it over with. Barbequed burgers, hotdogs and corn are the staple summer party option, so if you’re location is out doors and offer a barbeque – you’re set. Otherwise, those disposable small barbeques can be purchased for very little and give that summer flavor to the air. If your party is indoors, prepare hot food in advance and just have it warming when people arrive – hopefully laden down with wonderful dishes they prepared to share. Lay out the side salads, and the fruit can be chopped into pieces and put on skewers for easy eating and mingling.

4. Prepare Drinks in Advance

Perhaps you have a specialty mojito or martini – make it in bulk in advance and it can be the party ‘signature drink’. Extra points if it’s a pretty color. To liven up your party a bit, water guns are a fun option if you have space like in a beach or the park. If indoors, you can fill the water guns with alcohol for a novel change.

5. Choose Music

A crucial decision here, you want an upbeat summery sound so probably stay away from The National just on this occasion but please don’t sink to Abba, people. Stable suggestions are Arcade Fire, Phoenix and The Strokes.

6. Have Fun

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Throughout history, psychologists have sought to find the equation for happiness. Hundreds of books have been published on the subject, telling you where to find happiness, how to maintain it, how to explain it biologically – you name it, there’s a book about it. But can we really pinpoint exactly how to be happy? Is there really a formula for something so personal?

Money has been repeatedly connected with happiness. On the most basic level, the things that contribute to short-term happiness – food, warmth, sleep and hygiene for example – can all be solved with access to money. In the long-term, however, are the two states – wealth and happiness – truly inter-dependent? There has certainly been an extensive amount of research on the subject.

Firstly, studies have shown that just over 50% of our happiness is based on external factors. The other 50% is actually under our own control and is in our power to change by simply staying positive. Of the half that we do not control, 15% is based on genetics. This means that only 35% of our happiness comes from our surrounding environment, which is where the wealth factor belongs. For example, if you’re out on a date, and it’s all been going perfectly to plan but then your credit card gets rejected, this should only affect 35% of your happiness.

Statistics also show that, yes, money is important to happiness but only up to a certain level. Earning enough money to live comfortably and maintain a certain lifestyle is all that most people need to be happy. Beyond this, happiness does not increase much with income. Giving money away to others causes great amounts of happiness but other than that, extremely wealthy people and reasonably wealthy people are often equally happy.

Sudden windfalls of money – winning the lottery for example – have also been shown to cause only temporary happiness. Those who have won money and those who haven’t won money exhibit the same overall happiness levels. It is believed that after the momentary happiness and thrill of the win, many soon return to their prior state.

Most interestingly of all, recent research has explored the correlation between dating, happiness and income levels. It showed that married couples were often happier and also earned a higher income. The study went on to reveal that happiness is not caused by earning more money, but happiness does result in success at work and therefore an increased income level. Happy people logically work better with others: they are more tolerant and better at rational compromising. They will also be good at forming successful relationships, which is important in the office for a better overall job performance. If other areas of your life are going according to plan, it also follows that you will have a renewed focus in your working life.

So, although money does have a certain influence, presenting it as the ultimate solution to happiness is somewhat misleading. Repeated studies have shown that it just isn’t as simple as that: our own ability to influence personal happiness, our desire to simply be comfortably wealthy, our reaction to lottery wins – all of these factors complicate the question. Perhaps it is true that the key to happiness is to find love and nurture relationships, whether romantic, filial or social.

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My brain is a jumbled mess of titles at the moment: public relations executive, reporter, award-winning author, teacher and secretary. I was laid off from journalism over a year ago. Since then, I began work as an answering service operator, signed up for an English class and the GRE and set my sights on being a writer and a teacher, but there are times when I still get confused.

I really can’t believe they ask high school juniors and seniors to figure out what they want to do so early in their lives. Figuring out a vocation isn’t even easy at 26. I have to think of something halfway lucrative to do with my life. I just have to. The question is: What?

My sanity dwindles when I go through these periods of contemplation. Writing keeps me together. The pen has always been a sacred companion in my life.
At nine, I thought I had a lot of problems: my sister’s tormenting, bedtime and fourth grade. It was right around this time that my mom gave me an old day planner for a journal; I wrote in it faithfully, scribbling away about my daily trials. I have about twenty journals now in a wide assortment of colors and sizes. I love getting new ones and filling them up. But even when I don’t have a journal handy, I find something to write on: a receipt, the back of a flyer, a wrapper or…my hand.

One of my favorite songs is 2 a.m. by Anna Nalick. There is one lyric in particular that I can relate to: “Two AM and I am still awake writing a song; if I get it all down on paper, it’s no longer inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to.” Writing helps me sort it all out.

I write poetry, ideas, letters, essays, stories, to-do lists, ramblings, and occasionally, I will draw pictures. It’s not all about me. It is about people that I know and love, and people I don’t know and don’t like but still love, moments where things made sense and moments where I desperately needed some sort of a compass.

I may not have that coveted $30,000 a year, 401-K-included, 9-5 job right now, and I may never have one, but I know I will always have a pen and paper (or something that will pass as paper),which means I can write. And I will. I will write. I will write. I will write, even if I never get paid for it.

Someone said this once. I forgot who it was, and it’s an awful cliché, but I am going to say it anyway: Find something you love to do and do it. That is my suggestion to all of you out there who are searching for your life’s vocation. Just simply do something you love even if you can’t get paid for it, and do it a lot.