Never underestimate the value of these relationships. Whenever you approach a student, start with the heart. That phrase comes from one of my all-time-favorite books, Crucial Conversation, Tools For Talking When Stakes Are High (referral link). And make no mistake, stakes are always high when a teacher approaches a student.

Start with the heart refers to the idea that healthy dialog starts with good motives. Before you enter a conversation, take an intentional moment to ask yourself what you hope to get out of the conversation. When you approach the student, first identify your shared goals and then your intention:

Jay, both you and I want you to get the most you can out of this project, and want the process to be as easy as it can for you. I broke the project up into small pieces so that it is easy for you to complete each part. Yesterday, when you did not submit your outline, I began to worry about whether you would be able to keep up with the project. Can you help me understand what happened? How can I help you get this outline completed and submitted?

Note the difference between the above approach and a common misstep below:

Jay, where is your outline? You will lose 10 points per every day that it is late and I will not accept it after Friday. I also am e-mailing your mom so she is going to ask you about it tonight. I expect it on my desk tomorrow.

The latter example may occasionally get the outline turned in, but it never gets the relationship strengthened. You want both. Do not settle for less.

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, do not use sarcasm. Not ever. Especially avoid sarcasm with anyone below high school, but even in high school, sarcasm is a terrible, yes terrible, communications method. The Crucial team identifies sarcasm as a form of violence, and the Greek root means to tear flesh. Sarcasm is, by definition, not genuine. Healthy relationships thrive from genuine communication. Do not get caught in this trap.

If you need a trick to work on your sarcasm, try wearing a rubber band around your wrist for about a week. Each time you see it, remember that you are trying to avoid sarcasm. When you are teaching, or in a meeting, and your hand flashes in front of your face as you gesture, let it remind you of trying to be more straightforward and clear with your students and peers.

Challenge

Try this for one week. Give it your full effort. Come back and let us know how the experiment worked.

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I fall in and out of love with blogging. I always love teaching and being a teacher leader. And more than anything, getting better.

This blog has had many iterations. Today I'm shifting towards being a resource for modern educators as they strive to be the best teacher leaders they can be. Do you want to be a better teacher leader?

The subtitle of this blog used to be "learning in the 21st century." That seemed radical in the early 2000's when the century was new. Now the century is a teenager, and it is time to hit hyperdrive.

Sign up for my e-mail newsletter today, and let's get going. Together. I am looking forward to journeying with you. And if you know  a fantastic teacher who needs a connection, please hit the share buttons to send it to them.

One of his most compelling points cited that most colleges say that most of their students are ready for the workforce upon graduation, but that most companies say relatively few students are - no matter the numbers, there is something to deal with in that.

I'd love to hear your thoughts

Jodi Gold spoke at my school's Parents Association meeting on finding balance in children’s use of technology (in its various forms). She was entertaining, informative, and most of all, constructive.

I have not read her book (screen-smart parenting) yet (though I purchased it on the spot), but if it is half as useful as her talk, it is a must read.

She gave us practical advice upon practical advice: everything from how to talk to your kids about selfies to creating family guidelines and behavior plans that work, and much more.

The key take away for me was that working on kids’ healthy relationship with technology should begin in nursery school.

Some other tips from her included:

• have your tween/teen install the self control app
• don’t spy on your kids, get in the practice of them touring you through their tech world, and giving you their passwords
• use technology to send people compliments and caring expressions
• delete embarrassing photos
• don’t like mean posts
• unsubscribe from mean group chats
• do talk about pornography with your kids
• too many more to list!

This app, without overstating it, is a game changer to me. It is a game changer because students will inevitably use it. The challenge for teachers becomes that knowing that, how will we assign work accordingly?

The best assignment I could imagine would be for students to design their own app with the same functionality, the ability to solve problems. What would a computer need to be told to do to be an effective problem solver?

I am not sure why, but I am really stunned by the capabilities of this seemingly simple app.

Watch, and learn:

I feel like maybe we're on a pendulum ride that has swung way over to one side, and we'll swing back a bit. I hope so, because I'm not loving blind compulsion to "interact" with our devices. We should control devices, and not the other way around.

This video spoke to me so clearly in exhibiting this phenomenon. I hope you take 2 minutes and 11 seconds of dedicated (no multitasking) to watch it. It's sad in some ways, but so spot on.

I am not sure why I am confident in them, but I already am. I was struggling getting my three blogs moved to various services, and with Posthaven, they are all easily back again under one roof, as it was under Posterous. My other option was Tumblr, but there is just something about Tumblr, I can't put my finger on it, that I don't like. Not to mention I would have had to pay the JustMigrate.com team to move my posts to Tumblr. I don't mind paying, actually, I pay for this Posthaven account ($5/month) covers all of my blogs. Tumblr just wasn't it for me, even though they have many features like blogging apps for Android and iOs, and integrated Disqus comments.

For now, I am feeling at home at Posthaven. Let's see how their features roll out over the next few months. I, for one, am excited.

For all my friends out there that need a pep talk, this is the kid who is going to give it to you.

Cameron Russel speaks truth to power in this shot, elegant TED talk where she challenges assumptions about modeling. She makes the viewers confront their own stereotypes, while raising awareness of how she benefits from stereotypes (sometimes) while others suffer. Her understanding of privilege is sophisticated and nuanced, and she shares it with us with ease.

Talk about inspiring. Enjoy.

via a colleague

Sex trafficking is one of the great scourges of our time, and a shame on humanity, in general. Doing even just a little can mean a lot, so do your part and buy this wonderful book, where the proceeds go towards making the world a better place.

Via a colleague at work, an ingenious way to give kids without access to electricity, an environmentally friendly, and healthy way to access light.

Human behavior is strongly guided by design, aesthetics, feel, experience, etc. I am very interested in how designing learning environments (schools, classrooms, lessons, assessments) directs student and teacher behavior. I always say to teachers that lessons should be designed in a such a way that every student has to participate, there is no way to avoid being part of the learning. Here is a great video to the concept of good design driving good behavior.

Ellen Degeneres uses her sharp wit to critique Bic pens new line for women. I am always amazed when major companies can have results like this given their enormous decision-making chains. Understanding gender norms is a complex thing, but this seems so basic as to not even be believed.

One of my favorite things about this is how Ellen uses video and social media for social critique and change. Are our students prepare to do the same things to combat steretypes? If Ellen's 1.4 million views (as of 11/3/12) are any indication, they should be.

This 6.5 minute video on how we got the rover to Mars is a must watch. I cannot imagine how the engineers felt after landing.

Last year I was fortunate to learn from a lot of different sources. Here is a visual of some of them.

Anyone who knows me well knows that I attend a lot of meetings, but I also somewhat hate meetings. I know there is something wrong there, but I've been doing a lot of work trying to get better at leading meetings. The Modern Meeting Standard is a must read for anyone who attends or organizes meetings. Read it, you can read it in under an hour, I promise.

The folks at Liquid Church liked the book so much, that they made this funny little video explaining some of the main tenets. Watch, and enjoy.

As a technologist people often tell me how incredible they think iPads are. I agree, they are incredible. Then they ask if iPads will replace all computers. I usually say no, touchscreens are not the answer, gesture and voice-based computers are - these folks are helping my futurist predictions ring a little more true. It is nice to be right, for a moment.

If you teach civics, if you teach government, if you tech ethics, if you teach civil rights, if you teach children at all, watch this video. This is how we need to think about marriage equality, and how many more of our lawmakers need to start speaking. Thank you, Cory Booker.

LEARN from Rick Mereki on Vimeo.