I have some good news to share. Life circumstances and the random acts of others in the blogosphere have brought me out of hiding. There are some new and exciting things on the horizon for 21st Century Dad. Just wait. Hang out. Add me to your RSS feed reader and you won’t miss a beat.

Despite my inactivity, I’ve been featured on a couple of blogs.

Beth at “Open Seven Days A Week. Closed Sundays” decided that I would be a good single dad to profile for Single Parents Day. Don’t let the pretty face and blonde hair fool you. She actually knows what she’s talking about and she is a gifted writer. This is a long-overdue shout-out. She did her little write-up about me back in March! Read all about it.

Once your blog gains some traction, you become interconnected with other bloggers. Through this interconnection, Chris Goforth tracked me down. He’s a Real Authentic Man. I am so tapped out for time to engage in yet another social networking site. I am ashamed to admit that I haven’t responded to his invitation to join Real Authentic Men. OK, so I’m already a member of one Ning site, and that’s the only sign-in I need, but do I just create a profile, post the obligatory profile pic and just pad his numbers? I feel more than just a twinge of guilt if I don’t participate. As if that wasn’t enough, my job has a social network for its employees.

You might know Chris as PapaRocks6 on Twitter. I was featured in his series on Real Authentic Men.

Say hi to some of these great dads out there in the blogosphere. Most are dad bloggers, but some are bloggers who happen to be dads.

• Bobby Williams
• Buck Daddy
• Building Camelot
• Dad of Divas
• Dad Thing
• Dad’s Workbench
• Daddy Dazed
• Daddy’s Toolbox
• Discovering Dad
• DIY Father
• Frugal Dad
• Hubby, Daddy, Techie
• Joeprah
• Metro Dad
• Mocha Dad
• Planet Saturday
• Rice Daddies
• Steve Pavlina
• Strobist
• The Busy Dad Blog
• The Wisdom Journal

We all wonder what skills and traits you need to be a good parent. Who would’ve thought aeronautical engineering would make the list?

I bought a toy styrofoam airplane at Dollar Tree a few weeks ago. I took Twilli to the park and busted out the glider. She loved how I could throw it. She loved throwing it. She had a blast.

This past Thursday, I brought it out again. Twilli saw some young children close to her age playing across the street. She went over there to say hi. The other children really liked the glider too. They all took turns playing with it.

One of the children stepped on it and broke a piece of the wing off. His mother scolded him and offered to replace the toy. What a stand-up kind of mom! I declined the gesture. It was only a dollar. The lady insisted. Twilli promptly pocketed the money.

Later on that day, I examined the broken wing and determined that I could fix it easily. The pieces came back together very easily. I used a couple of staples and a few small pieces of tape. I don’t want to add more weight to a glider than necessary. I duplicated the repair efforts on the other wing to balance the weight out.

You know you’re being frugal when you decide to repair a toy you bought at Dollar Tree! I paid $1. The State of Tennessee got an additional 9.25% out of me. The debit card processing company got  a piece of that dollar too. The Chinese guy working in the factory (who also makes the “We Support Our Troops” stickers and ribbons) got a piece of it as well.

In the first photo, you can see I put some black tape on the nose of the airplane. Initial test flights showed that the center of gravity was too far back. It needed to move forward, so I added a screw to the nose and put black tape over it. It flies much better now.

Since this is Twilli’s airplane, I had to decorate it appropriately. As a young boy, I was obsessed with airplanes. I loved going to the airport. I loved flying. I loved playing with toy airplanes. I didn’t have to tell her any of this. She just knows that daddy would be tickled if she loved airplanes too.

Guitar Center

After moving to Tennessee, I wasn’t very picky about job prospects. I knew I needed to get a job ASAP. I wasn’t really interested in working at a music store again, but I had experience and knowledge to do it. Guitar Center was the first place that offered me a job, and it turned out to be a much better place to work than I had initially imagined. I am in control of how much I earn. I have fun every day. I work with a great bunch of guys and gals. I have announced to upper management that Guitar Center is part of my long-term plans.

Being around musicians and people who love music has reawakened the desire to play again. This time around, I’m going to refresh my piano playing skills. The keyboard excites me now. Guitar doesn’t do it for me like it used to.

No More Amazon.com Goodies

Due to my employment at Guitar Center, my involvement with the Amazon Associates program would constitute a conflict of interest. Yes, Amazon.com sells musical instruments. Of course, I would much rather you buy from Guitar Center. I quietly terminated the Amazon goodness a while ago, but haven’t gotten around to announcing the end of a good run.

Final Thoughts for the Day

Most people probably stopped reading about 200 words ago. Put “Facebook” in the title of a blog post or mention social media, and it’s instant link-bait. If you’re still with me, that probably means you’re a stalker or immune to the rampant ADD in our society today.

This blog isn’t going away. It’s just become more like a quarterly newsletter than a blog. There is plenty in the archives for new dads. I still get a fair amount of traffic based on the strength of some of my posts.

I still schedule posts to go live at 8:07. 8/07 is Twilli’s birthday. 8:07pm in 24-hour format is 20:07. Twilli was born in 2007.

One of the cutest things a toddler does is repeat something he or she just heard. It’s cute until your precious little one says something that would be bleeped on TV.

Many years ago, an old boss of mine admonished his young son for dropping an F-bomb. It was clear from his response that he disapproved.

“Don’t ever #*&@ing say @#^% again!”

It became a running joke.

In another instance, I witnessed a woman on the bus talking to one of her son’s friends. He showed the woman a picture of her son on his camera phone. The boy was making a hand gesture commonly used on the roads in South Florida. The woman was appalled and liberally peppered her diatribe with F-bombs. She took out her cell phone, called her son, and a colorful lecture ensued. Because of an editorial decision that affects all my writing here on 21st Century Dad, I cannot provide a transcript.

In Frugal Dad’s review of  Scratch Beginnings: Me, $25, and the Search for the American Dream, by Adam Shepard, he lamented that it contained enough profanity to turn off much of its potential audience. It’s a shame that it would be seen as such a problem. I encounter plenty of profanity, but I don’t pass harsh judgment on people who use it. The author’s intent was to give the book another layer of realism. I don’t consider that gratuitous usage. It was a creative decision made by the author.

One night, Renee and I brought Twilli to a meeting. A guy was wearing a t-shirt that said, “New York F—ing City.” He apologized for displaying profanity around our baby. I replied, “it’s all good, bro. She can’t read yet anyway.”

Who Blinks First

Most of the adults I know are sensible enough to know when and where profanity is inappropriate to use. There are some adults who refrain from it altogether. I have an ex-girlfriend who only managed to say, “fuh!” in a moment of extreme duress.

I am no saint, but I refrain from using profanity in mixed company. I don’t use it in my writing because it forces me to be more creative. I will rarely blink first when talking to someone I just met. But I do keep a mental roster of those who are OK with it, those who are definitely not OK with it, and those who I prefer to stay on the safe side with, but would move into the “safe” column once they blink. Those who blinked first are in what I call my “circle of profanity.” Okay, I never called them that before. I just made it up. The Bible Belt has a buckle shaped like a giant parallelogram. I live inside that parallelogram. I’ve always been careful, and my usual verbal patterns need no modification here.

If you are a user of profanity, you probably self-censor depending on who you’re with or where you are. You feel a sense of relief when it’s OK to refrain from editing. Sometimes we use it to build rapport.

What You Can Do

The easy answer (and the harder thing to do) is not to swear around your children. If you never use profanity, and your child drops an F-bomb, you can always blame an in-law.

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I never heard a more beautiful sound than her first cries as she made her explosive entry into the world. She was so tiny, delicate, and precious. I could be happy freezing any given moment and having her stay that way forever, yet I daydream about what she’d be like as a 2 year old, 5 year old, pre-teen, teenager, and a young woman. Time would stand still, especially when she was throwing one of her epic tantrums. Then we’d reach a milestone and realize how fast it all seemed to have gone by.

The first year was marked by dramatic physical changes. She grew to 3 times her birth weight. All that thick dark hair fell out and was slowly replaced by her current golden-brown locks. She cut her first teeth. She was one super-duper chubby-wubby obviously-breast-fed baby for a while. She started crawling, then cruising, then she took her tentative first steps without help from mommy or daddy.

Between ages 1 and 2, it gets really interesting. She is growing cognitively. The rate of physical growth slows, but continues. She looks so tiny and so huge all at the same time. Twilli started to talk. She could say a few words. You could clearly ascertain from the context that she knew what she was talking about vs. mimicking what she hears.

“Pretty!”

“More? More?”

“No.”

“Nurse! NURSE! NURSE!”

“Ooh, what’s this?”

“Daddy!”

“Mommy!”

Our relationship has moved into a new phase. We are communicating verbally. Lengthier conversational volleys are on the horizon.

As much as there is to teach, I have learned so much. I have opened my eyes to my own Korean heritage. I continue to eat garlic and insanely spicy food in large quantities. Twilli also enjoys some pretty spicy food for a toddler. There are many more lessons in store for me.

I unsubscribed from almost all of my feeds.

I still love you guys and gals. You now show up in my Google Reader instead of my inbox.

I can now consolidate all my RSS subscriptions in one place. My entire computing life is more streamlined now. Having a Google account gives me some cool online tools. I can squeeze even more functionality out of my non-smart phone.

If you’re not cool enough to have a smartphone, the next best thing is an unlimited text messaging plan connected your social media accounts.

Now that I have a Google account and iGoogle homepage that I’m actually using, I’m looking at Google’s SMS goodies even further. A detailed post about how I make my dumb phone smarter will be coming soon.

Photo: Renee Holiday

I would be completely remiss if I didn’t post today. I want to shout out to a couple of guys who will be celebrating their first ever Father’s Days:

Pat, Chris, and Brandon (you guys know who you are). Welcome to the club! You think changing dirty diapers is fun now, wait til they start getting squirmy.

When I started this blog, I enjoyed the ad-hoc social network created around bloggers in one’s niche and interests. Now my social networking time is spent on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.

With the transition from Florida to Tennessee, some plates stopped spinning. Some balls got dropped. My voice is even lower now. I get enough positive encouragement to continue this blog, albeit on a very sparse posting schedule. I’ve connected with several people through it, and continue to connect. Many of those connections have been carried through to my “big three” social networking sites. Is that kind of like owning the same album on 8-track, LP, cassette, CD, and mp3? Okay, I may not be old enough to have an 8-track player, but I do remember them. If I’m too old to shop at Abercrummy and Filth, then I’m certainly old enough to remember 8-tracks, or at least LPs.

Today is Father’s Day, a celebration of fatherhood and another opportunity for retailers to hawk their wares. While it’s a day to buy yet another barbecue grill set or another tie he won’t wear,  it’s a day to be the best dad you can be. Turn it up a notch or two, or three.

Say hi to some of these great dads out there in the blogosphere. Most are dad bloggers, but some are bloggers who happen to be dads.

• Buck Daddy
• Building Camelot
• Dad of Divas
• Dad Thing
• Dad’s Workbench
  
• Daddy’s Toolbox
  
• Discovering Dad
• DIY Father
  
• Frugal Dad
• Hubby, Daddy, Techie
• Joeprah
• Metro Dad
• Mocha Dad
• Planet Saturday
• Rice Daddies
• Steve Pavlina
• Strobist
• The Busy Dad Blog
• The Wisdom Journal
• TipDad
• Vegan Dad

It has been a mostly painless transition. Taking care of things like getting a Tennessee driver’s license, registering my car (yes, I have a car now!), and getting administrivia taken care of is much easier in The Volunteer State.

You Live Where?

If you tell anyone who doesn’t live in Tennessee that you live anywhere else but Nashville, Memphis, Knoxville, and maybe Chatanooga, they think you live way out in the middle of nowhere.

The Job Market

Knox County has about 1/3rd of the population of Broward County and an even smaller fraction of what’s considered South Florida. One would think jobs would be even more scarce. It’s not the case. Take all the available jobs in South Florida. Subtract the ones that require you to speak Spanish. Now compare the job markets in Knoxville and South Florida. 1-0 Knoxville! If you include Oak Ridge, then prospects start looking better.

I wouldn’t mind having a regular job here. The pay is much more in line with the cost of housing here. With the pay scale being very close and a lower overall cost of living, it’s Knoxville 2, South Florida 0.

I could always use another freelance client. Know anyone who needs help with PowerPoint?

Culture Shock

I never knew customer service could be so good! Add a little southern charm and a smile, and your trip to Starbucks is just that much more pleasant. They say the pace of life is slower in the South. It has to be. The first 3 minutes of every conversation is almost always jockeying back and forth with different ways to say “how are you?” and “I’m doing fine, thank you!”

I stopped by Target in Clinton last week. (Again, Clinton sounds like it’s way out there. In reality, it’s only about 10 miles from Knoxville). I was looking around and Marisa Tomei’s voice spoke one of the many memorable lines from My Cousin Vinny. “Oh, you blend!” Within seconds of having that thought, I spy an entire Asian family. There’s a stronger Asian presence here than you would think!

I Don’t Need no Stinkin’ GPS

If I get a GPS, I’ll never learn my way around! I am a bit of a throwback. As connected to technology and web 2.0 as I am, the inner curmudgeon sits on my shoulder and speaks very loudly when I pass by the GPS units at the Super WalMart.

South Florida is laid out like a grid. Knoxville looks like what would happen if your toddler played Sim City. Planning ahead, Google Maps, maps of Oak Ridge and Knoxville, and I’m doing just fine.

Bad Drivers Are Everywhere

Ask anyone where the worst drivers are. They will invariably tell you it’s where they live. I’m disguised as a local, complete with a Tennessee license plate on a Jeep Grand Cherokee. You probably think that bad driver is a local. It’s really me – a recent transplant. I still have to say, South Florida wins this nefarious honor by a landslide. I turn on my blinker and in Tennessee, that means, “the car with the blinker on wants to turn or change lanes.” In Florida it means, “Let me finish typing this text message while I juggle my coffee and Mapquest printout.”

Quittin’ Time

It’s hard to believe that I’m finally getting on the road next week. Today was my last day at the job, and now I’m officially an “unrestricted free agent.” One might think there are fewer opportunities in a less populated metropolitan area. However, if you don’t include the jobs in South Florida that require fluency in Spanish, Knoxville probably comes out ahead by a wide margin.

Movin’ Out

Mama Leone left a note on the door. She said, “Sonny, move to Tennessee.” Or something like that…

I have about a gazillion things to do. It feels like there’s a never-ending avalanche of stuff. I’ve been in this house for almost 10 years. How can so much stuff accumulate if the Super Target by my house has only been open for 2 years?

I’ve shared this house with my mother, 5 different roommates, Renee, 4 cats, Austin, and Twilli. Throughout the process of packing and purging, I’ve found items brought into this house by all of the people who have shared this house with me.

Vacuum Sealed for Freshness

Packing is a monumental task made only slightly less monumental with vacuum-seal storage bags. I compressed a king-size down duvet into a package the size of a briefcase!

I especially like the hanging suit bags. Back in December during phase 1 of the relocation, we packed up Twilli’s stuffed animals in a Space Bag. For whatever reason, the vacuum-sealed stuffed animals inspired a strange fascination. It was borderline morbid.

These vacuum-seal bags work great for storage too. There are only 2 seasons in Florida – summer and tourist. I didn’t need to store any winter clothes. These vacuum-seal bags are great for stashing your seasonal clothing. Winter clothes are bulky. Plus, you can lock in their freshness, just like those bricks of coffee you buy at the supermarket.

I do have to offer up a word of caution. One of my roommates used these when she was going home to Sweden. They expanded in her suitcase during the flight!

Hitting the Road

I don’t anticipate being able to do much writing over the next several weeks. However, you can catch up with me via Facebook and Twitter. Those social media outlets are far easier to update on the fly and during random spare moments. I will definitely be Tweeting from the road next week.

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