22 Crossroads

FIFA World Cup 2018: A not-so-artificially-intelligent predictor

2018-06-21T03:12:00.003+05:30

JUN 20, 2018:
It's been close to a week since FIFA World Cup 2018 started. We have already seen almost as many upsets as there were ~~fancy~~ advanced models pre-tournament trying to predict the outcomes. There has been a flurry of articles and scholarly papers using Artificial Intelligence and Machine Learning to predict the tournament results this year. Included in that list are the usual suspects such as FiveThirtyEight and bookmakers, as well as unlikely participants such as Goldman Sachs and Cornell University (maybe not that unlikely).

Inspired by these articles, some heated arguments, a few cups of coffee, and with my trusted Microsoft Excel, I set about creating my own not-so-intelligent predictor. It's a fairly simple model that runs Monte Carlo simulations, and uses some hard coded inputs on pre-tournament form, such as:

FIFA Ranking Points
Football ELO Ratings
Goals Scored, Goal Conceded and Undefeated streaks since World Cup 2014
Number of Ballon d'Or winners in the team

I started on this passion project on Monday night and ran some vanilla simulation to see how different the results are from the other advanced models (spoiler alert: they are not really). And maybe not everything in the world needs a machine learning tadka.

RESULTS (PRE TOURNAMENT PREDICTIONS)
If I had been living under a rock over the past week and didn't know the results of the matches already played, based on the model I would have said Brazil has the best chance to win the World Cup by defeating Germany in the Final. Overall probability for Brazil is 12% (which is significantly higher than 3% chance they would have had if all matches were decided by coin tosses).

The knockout stage would have probably looked like this:

THE FUN STUFF: MATCH DAY 01
The real interesting part comes in when you start coding in the results as the matches happen, and see how the draw changes. After Match Day 01, which ended with the Poland vs Senegal match on June 19th, the draw looks quite different for two reasons.

1. Germany's loss to Mexico means that they are more likely to finish second in their group, and that leads to a R16 showdown with Brazil (Final come early, yay).
2. Argentina's draw with Iceland, coupled with Croatia's win over Nigeria means Argentina are also likely to finish second in their group and end up facing France in R16.

Both these results combined mean the bottom half of the draw may completely open up. There is a not-so-unrealistic path to the Semis for England, Switzerland, Mexico and Senegal. Brazil is still most likely to win, but their probability has come down to 10% because they now have a more difficult match-up with Germany in R16.

-----

UPDATE JUNE 25 2018: END OF MATCH DAY 02

As we head into the find round of group games, here is what the knock-out grid looks like. I have made an update to the model to take into account tournament from. This is done by maintaining a live track of ELO-like ratings based on match results.

Some of the groups are very close to call.

In group D, Croatia have qualified, but are not guaranteed top spot. Argentina has a 50% chance of qualifying, followed by Nigeria at 35% and Iceland at 15%.
In group F, anyone can qualify. Mexico have the best odds at 80%, followed by Germany at 65%, Sweden at 45% and Korea at 10%. Mexico - Germany is the most likely 1-2.
Group G is practically a coin toss in who finishes first. The model gives a slight edge to England.
As we had already seen, the bottom half of the draw is much more favorable. It will be interesting to see if the two teams actively try to finish second.
Fun fact: If the Belgium-England game ends in a draw, the winner will be based on Fair Play points. England currently have one fewer yellow card than Belgium.
In Group H too, anyone other than Poland can qualify. Japan has the best odds of qualifying, following Senegal and Columbia.

Overall, Brazil is still the favorite to win. Depending on how the 1/2 rank plays out across the groups, any of Portugal, Spain, England or Belgium can make the finals.

Assuming we flip the order of group winners in Groups B and G, then the draw looks something like this:

I'll update the odds at the end of Match Day 03 at which time the R16 matches will be locked in.

_______

UPDATE JULY 2nd 2018: END OF MATCH DAY 03

A super late post again. A part of the tardiness was caused by the results that I was getting. Based on some of the results in Round 3, the model ends up picking Belgium as the eventual winner. So, I was making sure there were no errors. I did find one (I had coded the result of BRA-SUI match incorrectly), but it did not change model results.

Numerically, though, I can see why Belgium are favourites - they beat England in Groups, and gained a lot of ELO points. As a result their tournament form is assessed to be higher than that of Brazil - which isn't that much of a surprise. But even if I were a betting man (and I am not), I would not bet all my money on Belgium winning it.

This is what the model churned out in the end. Other than the Belgium predictions, I can fairly happy with the results so far. This in spite the fact that two out of four predictions have already been proven wrong. But Spain really shouldn't have lost to Russia. And I really believe Mexico have a better than 18% chance of beating Brazil that FiveThirtyEight has attributed.

___
UPDATE JULY 5th 2018: END OF R16

Finally a post on time, before the first QF kicks of tomorrow between Uruguay and France.

Spain's upset loss against Russia means a lot of churn in the bottom half of the table, leading to Croatia making the final. In the top half, a close game for Belgium and a comfortable win for Brazil means things are a little bit closer than the last run of the model. Belgium still picked to go through and win it all, if only by a whisker against Brazil.
Overall Belgium have the highest probability to win the cup, followed by Brazil, Croatia, England, and France - in that order.

The Year Of - Derivative Poetry

2017-01-28T16:52:00.000+05:30

Embers, fires and slumbers
stoked, fanned and broken

dreams, promises, kisses
borrowed, begged or stolen

palms sweaty, knees weak, arms heavy
ribs bruised and eyes swollen

from earth, dust and ashes
rising
unbowed, unbent, unbroken.

High Heels by Yo Yo Honey Singh - Kavi Parichay evam Bhavarth

2015-04-04T10:22:00.002+05:30

हाई हील्स - द्वारा श्री यो यो हनी सिंह

कवि परिचय एवं भावार्थ

इस भावार्थ को मेरे स्वर में सुनने के लिए नीचे क्लिक करें:

https://soundcloud.com/kumar-ritwik/high-heels-kavi-parichay-evam-bhavarth

उक्त कविता महाकवि श्री यो यो हनी सिंह के प्रतिनिधि काव्यों में से एक है । इन पंक्तियों में कवि एक युवती को सम्बोधित करते हुए अपने विचार व्यक्त कर रहे हैं ।

श्री यो यो हनी सिंह जी का जन्म पंजाब प्रांत के होशियारपुर गाँव में हुआ था और उनके माता-पिता ने उनका नाम हिरदेश सिंह रखा था । साहित्य की दुनिया में कदम रखने पर उन्होंने "हनी सिंह" के उपनाम को अपनाया और अपने दोनों नामों को चरितार्थ करते हुए ऐसी कविताओं की रचना की जो मधुर होने के साथ-साथ हृदय भेदी भी हैं ।

यो यो जो की रचनाओं में कुछ विषय-वस्तु बारम्बार ही उजागर होते हैं । ऐसी ही एक मौलिक विचारधारा है कवि की नारी-समाज से रु-ब-रु होने की कोशिश। चाहे वह "ब्राउन रंग" के द्वारा समाज के सौंदर्य के आयामों पर कटाक्ष हो, या फिर "अंग्रेजी बीट" और "बेबो" में नारी स्वछँदता की अभिव्यक्ति।

यो यो जी अपनी कविताओं में लोककथाओं के विवेचन के लिए भी जाने जाते हैं और "हाई हील्स" इसी का एक उदाहरण है । "हाई हील्स" महर्षि विश्वामित्र और अप्सरा मेनका के प्रसंग की अन्योक्ति है । देवराज इंद्र के कहने पर मेनका ने अपने रूप एवं यौवन से विश्वामित्र की तपस्या भंग की थी और उनकी आकाँक्षाओं को अपने अनुकूल कर लिया था । उसी प्रकार "हाई हील्स" कविता की नायिका ने कवि के ध्यान को भंग किया है।

"पहली बात तो ये
जो तू टिक-टॉक टिक-टॉक चलती है
माना ये सारी तेरी हाई हील्स की गलती है
रुक तो जा तू, हैंग ऑन
ये तो बता तू है कौन
कहाँ से आई है, कहाँ को जाएगी
पागल लड़की मुझे मरवाएगी"

इस काव्य की नायिका एक ऐसी युवती है जिसे ऊँची एड़ी की जूतियों का शौक है और जब वह चलती है तब उनकी जूतियां फर्श पर टिक-टॉक की ध्ववि का सृजन करती हैं । इस सन्दर्भ में नायिका की जूतियां मेनका की मोहकता का प्रतिनिधित्व करती हैं । उनकी जूतियों की ध्वनि कवि को मंत्र मुग्ध करती है और उनका तप टूट जाता है । कविता की शुरुआत तब होती है जिस क्षण कवि का ध्यान भंग होता है।

कवि जानते हैं कि उनके ध्यान में बाधा नायिका ने पहुँचायी है, परन्तु वो उसके मोहपाश में बांध चुके हैं और कहते हैं की वो मानते हैं की नायिका अबोध है और उसने जानते हुए विघ्न नहीं डाला । वह इसका दोष उसकी जूतियों पर मढ़ देते हों और इस मुग्धावस्था में नायिका से निवेदन करते हैं। वो जानना चाहते हैं की नायिका कहाँ से आई हैं और कहाँ जाना चाहती हैं। कवि अपने तप के फलस्वरूप स्वर्ग और धरती, आकाश और पातळ के यथार्थ से अवगत हैं। वो जानते हैं की कोई कहाँ से आया है और कहाँ जायेगा ये अनावश्यक प्रश्न हैं। परन्तु उस टिक-टॉक के आगोश में वो ऐसे बेमानी सवाल करने को भी विवश हैं ।

प्रथम छंद की आखिरी पंक्ति में कवि कहते हैं "पागल लड़की मुझे मरवाएगी"। यहाँ "पागल लड़की" से कवि का आशय नायिका के दीवानेपन से है - एक ऐसा उन्माद जिसने न केवल उनकी तपस्या भंग की बल्कि राग-अनुराग की ऐसी अग्नि को प्रज्ज्वलित किया कि कवि जीवन-मरण के कालचक्र से परे निकल गए।

"बस कर ये जलवे न दिखा
ये सब तो मैं देख चूका
तुझ जैसी तो पट जाती है
फिर दुर्घटना घट जाती है"

कविता के दूसरे छंद में कवि विश्वामित्र और मेनका की कथा का दूसरा अध्याय प्रस्तुत करते हैं ।

कवि को अपने संयम खोने पर ग्लानि का भास होता है और वह स्वयं को नायिका के बंधन से मुक्त करने का प्रयत्न करते हैं। उनके मन में क्रोध की ज्वाला धधक रही है - हालाँकि उनका यह क्रोध स्वयं पर है पर इस आग को वो नायिका की ओर केंद्रित करते हैं। उनके हृदय में प्रेम का जो सागर हिलोरे खा रहा था, वह आक्रोश की अग्नि में तपकर नायिका पर बरस रहा है। ये पंक्तियाँ विरोधाभास की अतिश्योक्ति से अलंकृत हैं और कवि के साहित्यिक क्षमता के चरम का आभास दिलाती हैं।

ऊपर ही ऊपर कवि कहते हैं की नायिका उनसे दूर चली जाएँ पर उनका मन विचलित है। वो कहते तो हैं की ऐसे रूप और आकर्षण के वो आदि हैं और उनपर इसका कोई असर नहीं होता पर उनकी चेतना उनके तप की लक्ष्मण रेखा को लांघ रही है । स्वयं को सांत्वना देने के लिए कवि कहते अवश्य हैं की वास्तव में उन्होंने नायिका को अपने वष में किया है पर उन्हें ज्ञात है कि उनका स्वः, उनका ध्येय अब नायिका के आधीन है। उन्हें भविष्य का पूर्वाभास है और वो जानते हैं कि इसका परिणाम प्रतिकूल होगा। इस परिणाम की किलकारियां खतरे की घंटी बनकर उनके मस्तिष्क में गूँज रही हैं। इसीलिए वो नायिका का उपहास करते हैं।

"मैं हूँ शिकारी कुड़िये, खाली मेरा वार नहीं जाता
मुझको न पहचाने तू, तेरे घर अखबार नहीं आता?"

अंतिम दो पंक्तियों में कवि के स्वर में बदलाव दिखाई देता है। इस बदलाव को समझने हेतु हम पाठकगण बस अनुमान और अटकलें ही लगा सकते हैं। विद्वानो का मानना है कि कवि के कटु वचनों से नायिका हतोत्साहित हो जाती हैं। वो कवि का कृत्रिम उपहास करती हैं और संकेत देती हों कि कवि उनकी नज़रों में एक हीन मनुष्य हैं। उनके ऐसे विचार सुनकर कवि के आत्मसम्मान को घात पहुचता है और वो खुद को नायिका की दृष्टि में सुशोभित करने का प्रयत्न करते हैं।

जिस विश्वामित्र-मेनका प्रसंग से काव्य की शुरुआत की थी, उसे अग्रसर करते हुए कवि अपने अंतर्मन के विश्वामित्र को जागृत करके पाठको के सामने प्रस्तुत करते हैं। अपने तप से विश्वामित्र ने ब्रह्मास्त्र को अर्जित किया था और हम जानते हैं की ब्रह्मास्त्र का वार कभी खाली नहीं जाता था। उसी प्रकार कवि कहते हैं की वो ऐसे योद्धा हैं जो कभी अपने लक्ष्य से नहीं चूकते। एक बार उनकी दृष्टि जिस पर पड़ जाती है वो उसे अपने वष में कर लेते हैं।
इस विचारधारा, इस अहम को एक सम-सामाजिक पृष्ठभूमि में पेश करते हुए कवि कहते हैं कि यदि नायिका उन्हें पहचाने से इंकार करती हैं तो इसका तात्पर्य यह है कि वो वास्तविकता से अज्ञात हैं। अन्यथा वो ऐसी त्रुटि नहीं करती क्योंकि कवि इतने विश्व-विख्यात हैं कि उनका चित्र प्रत्येक समाचारपत्र के प्रथम पृश्ठ पर छपता है।

और इसी हास-परिहास के साथ कवि इस पद्य को समाप्त करते हैं. यह रचना कवि के अंतर्मन, उनके स्वः, उनके आत्मसम्मान, उनके उन्माद एवं अंतर्विरोध का प्रतिबिम्ब है। कवि का निर्भीक स्वर और उनके विचारों का बुनियादी स्वरुप "हाई हील्स" को आधुनिक साहित्य के उच्चतम पटल पर स्थापित करता है।

नोट्स:
इस महाकाव्य को कवि की अपनी वाणी में सुनने के लिए निचे क्लिक करें:

The practical dSLR buying guide

2014-12-28T01:52:00.001+05:30

If you are planning to buy a dSLR, here are the steps that you should follow.

The first rule of buying a dSLR is do not buy a dSLR.
The second rule of buying a dSLR is do NOT buy a dSLR.

Seriously! You may think that you are ready, that you know what you are getting into. But trust me, you are not. dSLRs are not just cameras, they are relationships. And like any relationship they have to be maintained – they require time, money and effort. And much like that rebound you regretted getting into, at some point you will regret this.

These things are big, bulky, heavy and conspicuous – you will probably require a separate bag when you are packing for a trip, you will have to sacrifice underwear or deodorant (or both) on that hike, the strangers would glare at you as they would at a monkey with a camera (which you most likely end up looking like anyway), and everyone will expect each frame you click to be poetry frozen in time. You can’t carry them to the local pub; you can’t dance with them at your friend’s baraat; and you can’t take selfies with them [1].

And, boy, will you be disappointed in yourself when you look at the pictures that you have taken. When you took photographs from your iPhone you thought the only thing between you and 100 likes on Facebook was an SLR. You will now learn something your read on the internet – that the most important thing to a great photograph lies 6 inches behind the camera. And, then you will unlearn that as well. Oh, what a reality check the first 100 batches usually are.

Finally, these things are no chic magnets either. You are better off spending on a bike (or a haircut [2]). I have never had a conversation on burst rate, raw mode or dynamic range with a female [3].

So, in conclusion, strongly reconsider your decision to buy a digital single-lens reflex camera (yeah, that’s what D-S-L-R stand for). Instead split your SLR budget into two. With one half, buy the P&S with the biggest zoom [4]. You can donate the other half to me.

However, if you still wish to, here is the serious stuff.

Choose one between Canon and Nikon. Neither is better than the other. Yes, one has a slightly better sensor and the other has a slightly better range of lenses. But neither will you be able to differentiate between sensor quality, nor will be you be able to afford more than half those lenses. So unless someone is gifting you a set of lenses [5], just go to a shop and try out a couple of models from both, and pick one that feels better in your hands.
Pick a starting budget and choose your level. Both C and N have cameras in 3 broad levels – entry, mid, and high. A mid-level should suffice almost all your needs. Look for deals. A slightly older model can be a great bargain if available at a good price.
Be prepared to spend ~1,00,000 INR (>1,500 USD) over the next ~5 years.
Invest in good lenses. Remember that quality glass will far outlive the camera body, and has a much higher resale value as well.
Get acquainted with dpreview.com

Don't blame me if you end up hating yourself after 6 months. You were forewarned.

Happy Clicking.

Notes:

I have done all these things. But each of them comes with socio-economic costs of their own.
Now you know why I look like I do!
I have, however, discussed female photographers with male friends. I also discussed female subjects with male friends.
You can also look at mirror-less cameras - micro four thirds and so on.
Like I was (Thank You Mamaji).

Reflections

2014-01-01T04:51:00.001+05:30

महफ़िलें वही हैं, ये
जाम दूसरा है
बाज़ार है वही, पर
दाम दूसरा है

ख्वाहिशें वही हैं
खुमार दूसरा है
यार भी वही हैं, पर
प्यार दूसरा है

सब कुछ है हूबहू, बस
ख्याल दूसरा है
वो साल दूसरा था, ये
साल दूसरा है

_______________________________________________

mehfilein wahi hain, par
jaam doosra hai
bazaar bhi wahi hai, par
daam doosra hai

khwahishein wahi hain
khumaar doosra hai
yaar bhi wahi hain, par
pyaar doosra hai

sab kuchh hai hu-ba-hu, bas
khayal doosra hai
woh saal doosra tha
yeh saal doosra hai

Opening Lines #1

2011-09-07T17:49:00.000+05:30

She, of the hair most unruly
Trapped once, and you'd need a year to break free.
She, of the eyes of a deity
Trapped once, and forever hers you shall be.

I had known her for eight months.
And sometimes I wondered.

Coming of Age

2011-05-17T22:22:00.004+05:30

Sometimes, I just feel lucky to be born when I was, to be born in this time and age, to have seen so many contenders for the "Greatest of All Time" tag.

Lucky to be born in the age of Michael Schumacher and watch him beat record after record. To be born in the age of Lance Armstrong, for whom beating opponents and records was but a secondary feat. To be born in the age of Zinedine Zidane, most certainly the best of this generation, the marquee headbutt notwithstanding.

Lucky to have watched not one, but two legends, pass the baton in tennis.
When Pete Sampras lost in the Wimbledon of 01, it made fans of him hate that pony-tailed guy for ending his quest for a 5th consecutive crown. I know I did. But Pete shouldn’t mind that now, for over the course of next 8 years or so, Roger has shown that when it comes to beauty on the tennis court he has got the entire WTA beat, by a long shot (down the line).

And then there’s Sachin Tendulkar, whose one mistimed shot makes your heart skip a beat, whose every cover drive makes you smile, whose lofted straight drives (rare as they have become) makes you want to jump with joy, and whose humility only underscores his genius. The image of him taking that lap of honour at the Wankhede is going to stay with me for a long, long time.

I shall turn 25 in a few days. If ancient sages are to be believed, I would be seeing life a lot differently now. I do feel much old already. And I do feel lucky.
But, I would give it all up, in less than a heartbeat, just to be born in the age of Pink Floyd.
And having that realization makes me think, that maybe I am growing up.

Cheers.

PS: And I pray for some smart soul to make a time machine.
Bonus:

Date A Girl Who Loathes Herself

2011-03-21T15:26:00.004+05:30

Author's Note: I have been given to understand that this piece makes me look like a douche. Well, I am not. This piece was an exercise in writing, and I hope (and pray), that I am not judged on it, by girls.

Special mentions for Rosemarie Urquico for writing that wonderful piece, and for Tapas Shrivastava for making me want to write one myself.
Thanks to Rohini Lall for the spark that ignited this particular piece.

Date a girl who loathes herself. Date a girl who spends her money on comfort food. She has problems with closet space because she has too many high heels bought in moments of madness. Date a girl who has a list of failed relationships, who lost her first elocution competition when she was twelve.

Find a girl who is depressed. You'll know she is because she has that long lost look in her eye. She is the one wearing crushed pajamas in the cafeteria, the one who is fidgeting with her cell phone, contemplating whether calling her therapist third time in a day would be a bit too much. You see the weird chick with smudged mascara, and a wrinkle around her eyes. That's the self loather. They can never manage to wipe off the chocolate stain off their chin.

She is the girl drooling over her cup of frozen yogurt. If you take a closer look, you might find trails of maple syrup and chunks of strawberries. She is lost in the greyness of her dull life. Sit down. She might be cursing herself, she might curse you since she treats every new person with her fair share of skepticism. Ask her if she has had a hug in month. Maybe a year.

Buy her an extra portion of fat free gelato.

Let her know what you really think of her, with a pinch of salt. Make her feel significant. Ask her if she wants to go out with her sorority friends. See if she managed to get that promotion at the workplace she had been vying for. Understand that she had really sucked up to her boss. Tell her it is OK with you if she wants to give up on her career altogether.

It's easy to date a girl who loathes herself. Giver her a call on her birthday, maybe a card on her anniversary. That is more than enough for her. Understand that many didn't even remember it was her birthday. Keep that fire of inadequacy burning within her. Commend her on her painted toenails, but mention if her ankles look chubby. Understand that she knows the difference between the impression she has of herself and the person she really is, but she is too weak to break out of that shell. This helplessness adds wind to that fire. Raise her morale, but don't let it fly too high. It would be your fault if she begins to find you inadequate.

Lie to her. If she knows herself, she will know you are lying to gain an advantage. But that would only make her want to stick with you. She has always found it impossible to break up with men not worthy of her. She always finds herself sinking deep into the quicksand of pity. Behind every failure is a lesson she has never learnt. And she hates herself for it.

Fail her. For a girl who loathes herself, that's the caffeine that keeps her awake. She will stick to you because she cannot go through another loss. She will go out of her way to make things work. She understands that things will come to an end one day, but she does not have the guts to walk out now. You will be her hero, no matter how degenerate you are.

Girls who loathe themselves will accept you for all your flaws, because they can relate to them. They understand that deep inside you are not much different from them.

If you like a girl who loathes herself, keep her close. When you find herself sobbing at 6 in the evening because she doesn't fit in that red dress anymore, chide her. You may lose her for an hour when her hatred for herself projects on you. But then she will always come back to you, taking your chiding to be a manifestation of tough love. She'll sulk if she can't bake a good cake. Buy her one from the bakery of her choice. And then tell her you like chubby girls after all.

You will propose over chocolate ice cream. Or peanut butter sandwich. Or maybe after the next session with the therapist.

You will be smiling in you heart wondering how easy it all was. If only you had found one of them in college, instead of going after the self respecting ones. You'll mention in your journal all the things she did for you in bed, just because you didn't walk out on her. She will spend most of her life being indebted to you for bringing her out of the shithole that her life was. Your kids will have a doting mother because she does not want them to turn out like she did. She will always try to outdo herself as a wife and mother, always feeling that she is not good enough.

Date a girl who loathes herself because that is what you can achieve. You can have a girl who makes pancakes for you every morning so that you don't eat at the deli with the hot waitress. If you give her a sense of purpose and meaning to her life, then you are better off alone. Or that is what you would be then anyway; alone. But if you want to be the world and the world beyond it for her, date a girl who loathes herself.

Or better yet, date a girl who pretends to be a feminist, but isn't.

There Was A Time

2011-02-13T18:56:00.002+05:30

There was a time I used to be young
Sang with the choir when the school bell rung
There was a time when promises were kept
There was a time I wasn't unstrung

There was a time I could name the stars
In Orion's belt and the ones afar
There was a time when my shoes did shine
There was a time I fought for marks

There was a time I loved traveling in trains
In sleeper coaches with betel stains
There was a time when Maggi was cherished
There was a time I danced in the rain

There was a time I used to be rich
10 bucks I'd have, would lend out six
There was a time I tried to be honest
There was a time when I was a snitch

There was a time I knew my F.R.I.E.N.D.S
I shed a tear when "The Last One" ends
There was a time I knew multiplication tables
There was a time I didn't have to pretend

There was a time I had the stomach to
cover the distance that somehow grew
There was a time I used to hate girls
There was a time I used to love you.

Of fonts, colors and Logos

2010-11-19T02:33:00.011+05:30

An established brand changes its brand design/ logo, and there you have it – the eternal debate between the old and the new, the classy vs. the peppy, the understated vs the wannabe. Usually its just a manifestation of people wanting to cling on to something they loved, but sometimes the rolling stone gathers a bit too much moss. GAP and Tropicana have learned the lesson the hard way, and judging by the initial reaction to Airtel logo (on Facebook and elsewhere), I guess things might just be heading in similar directions.

So what is the deal with a brand logo? My very limited experience of presenting in a couple Ad-Design competition had me memorized (more or less) my introductory speech when the logo part came in. A logo is judged on its aesthetic values – the colors, the fonts, how it fits with the overall brand image, on reproducibility and on the story it tells (I believe that every logo should have a story). But I guess, in the end its just one thing – RECALL VALUE, RECALL VALUE, RECALL VALUE. So if I ask you to think of a famous logo, probability tells me that you would think out of Nike, Coke, Google, Mercedes, and Apple. (Sadly, I could not think of even a single Indian brand logo in the same league).

Now how this recall value thingy screws up things is this: it does not matter how good or bad these logos are graphically, if either of these 5 brands, changed their imagery tomorrow, you would just hate. Most of these logos are no pieces of art in themselves – subtlety generally works for logos. So much so, that the Google logo, I feel is - for lack of a better word - the “cheapest” logo to make it big. If I tried selling a logo like that – primary colors in a serif font, I would be hit on my head with a hammer. Admittedly, the Catull variation is slightly better, with smoother edges. In recent past, I would say Facebook logo has been culprit of the same. Even though it’s much neater than Google, like Google, it works because its there.

And that brings me to what started this entire (rather misplaced) criticism – Airtel’s new logo. There is no doubt the “old” Airtel logo worked. Not just worked, it was magic in many ways. It was clean, simple, and legible and for what it’s worth, it had a great recall value. But, is the new Airtel logo that bad? Most people around me seem to think so. If you break it down – the color theme is still there, the new font is better than the last one, by far (and dare I say, sexier than the last one), and by itself it looks nice. So what’s wrong? Its not the old logo, yes. It’s a wannabe, yes – a Vodafone wannabe. But the Vodafone Speechmark is a great role model to have – fonts, colors, story, recall value and all – probably the best logo among the telcos.

On the need for change, everyone cites the Coke vs Pepsi branding as an example, how Coke has had only logo in human history whereas Pepsi has had around 20. Again, its about what works and what not, and if you ask me, Pepsi designers haven’t done a bad job of it either (there I said it, I like the new Pepsi logo as well). So did Airtel need it? In India, they surely could have done without it. The established identity, would have been a big differentiating factor in face of the new competition (your Uninors, MTSes, Videocons and Docomos). So, what their business strategy was, I can only guess. Maybe this logo is supposed to look and feel more international. But from a purely design point of view, for me, the new logo is not half as bad as the last one, recall value aside, especially put into context as on the revamped site intro (www.airtel.in). Could it have been better? A big YES (As rightly pointed out by Anvesh, they should have retained some of the black). But for me it’s a refreshing change, one I am more than happy with. It’s not a two-tone text in rectangular boxes. I have nothing against text-based logos – Canon and Oracle hold their own, SanDisk is beautiful, FedEx has a great story to tell, Amazon is sheer brilliance and I (spoiler alert) just love Microsoft. All I am saying is that if Nokia and Sony tried re-branding tomorrow, I wouldn’t be breaking a sweat. But if Nike even dreamed about anything remotely close, trust me to write a 1000 word protest letter to their CEO.

I guess, in the end it’s about personal choice, and given the initial response, a lot of the criticism would come my way for taking Airtel’s side. But the thing with brand logos is - there is one factor even more important than Recall value – and that is FIRST IMPRESSION. On that front, this Airtel logo has worked its magic on me.

All in all, my best wishes to Airtel, because fonts, colors and logos aside, they still provide the best damned service. So bring on the criticism (of the logo and this article), I will try and defend as much as I can. And while you are at it, http://www.colourlovers.com/business/blog/2010/09/15/the-most-powerful-colors-in-the-world, is one nice page to visit.

Kuchh Raatein

2010-07-09T12:55:00.005+05:30

कुछ रातें ऐसी होती हैं

अधखुली आँखें

आधी सोयी, आधी जागी

ख्वाबों की दस्तक पर

चौंक उठती हैं

कुछ रातें ऐसी होती हैं

रेडियो वाली लड़की

हंसती है, खिलखिलाती है

बेनाम उस आवाज़ से

जाने कितनी गिरहें खुलती हैं

कुछ रातें ऐसी होती हैं

खिड़की में चाँद और

करवटें, और करवटें

डेढ़ पहर रात्री

चांदनी में कटती है

कुछ रातें ऐसी होती हैं

ज़हन में कुछ शब्द आते हैं

अधूरी जो नज़्म बनती है

उजाले से डरे दिल का सच

अँधेरे में बेख़ौफ़ कहती हैं

कुछ रातें ऐसी होती हैं

धुंधलाने लगता है सब

चांदनी फीकी पड़ने लगती है

सब अधुरा सा रह जाता है

अधूरे ख्वाब, अधूरी नज़्म

अधूरे गाँठ, अधूरी रात

सुबह की पहली किरणें

रात के स्लेट को साफ़ कर देती हैं

कुछ रातें .....

For those whose hindi font is not working

Kuchh raatein aisi hoti hain

adhkhuli ankhen

aadhi soyi, aadhi jaagi

khwabon ki dastak par

chaunk uthi hain

kuchh raatein aisi hoti hain

radio wali ladki

hansti hai, khilkhilati hai

benaam us awaz se

jane kitni girhein khulti hain

kuchh raatein aisi hoti hain

khidki mein chand aur

karwatein, aur karwatein

dedh pahar raat

chandni mien kat.ti hain

kuchh raatein aisi hoti hain

zehen mein kuchh shabd aate hain

adhuri jo nazm banti hai

ujale se dare dil ka sach

andhere mein bekhauf kehti hain

kuchh raatein aisi hoti hain

dhundhlane lagta hai sab

chandni feeki padne lagti hai

sab adhura sa reh jata hai

adhure khwab, ahduri nazm

ahduri gaanth, adhuri raat

subah ki pehli kiranein

raat ka slate saaf kar deti hain

kuchh raatein ....

Lovely Omelette

2010-06-25T01:30:00.003+05:30

Preface: This is a sequel / prequel to "Stupid Roses". Do read that as well, if you haven't already.

He glanced around the room. He did not want to be late. There was something missing but he could not figure out what. A dozen or so items lay on the table, neat and tidy. He ran through the list once again. Chopped onions, mashed garlic cloves, tomatoes, capsicum, coriander leaves, butter, salt, pepper and of course eggs. Ah, chilies, he had forgotten green chilies. He rushed to the refrigerator. He did not want to be late. Not tonight.

She could handle this on her own, she told herself. Vials of various sizes were spread around. The pills, at last. She gulped down two at a time. This should ease things down, for a few minutes at least, though she could never be sure. They came in waves – these attacks, in ebbs and flows – and they were becoming far more frequent; and punctual. For now, though, she was calm. In the distance, the second hand of the wall clock was loud as a drumbeat. The breathing had slowed down. That was a good sign. She stared at the keypad, unsure. She could handle it. Today, she had to.

The eggs were in for a treat. He was never too harsh with them anyway, but tonight he was especially soft – as if he was caressing them with the spatula. He hummed along as he beat up the froth. The pan was sitting on fire. A dollop of butter went it – he hesitated, contemplated – then a dollop more. What the hell. Today was special. The aroma of roasted garlic filled the room. He looked at his watch and chuckled. It was time, almost. The phone rang.

She let it ring once, twice – then hung up. This was not a good time. She could really use some comfort. She just needed to hear his voice. But this was not a good time. She knew it. They had been over this before, more than once. She had thought that he would learn over time. Yet, it had only grown worse. He acted like a child, she thought, carefree. Sometimes that was cute, not on nights like these. The palpitations got worse; the knot in the stomach tighter. She breathed heavily, twice, and stared at the screen.

1 missed call. He was surprised. Why did she hang up? The pan was still simmering. He checked his watch and turned out the flame. That was his secret. He liked them slightly undercooked on the inside. He thought about calling back. Should he? He was wary of the past. Such conversations did not pan out well. Not for him. He never quite knew what to say, ending up with monosyllabic replies, which she took as a sign of disinterest. How could he stay interested in times like these? Three guys in suits chattered on the telly.

She heard the clock strike seven. He looked at his watch, again. Against her better judgment, she dialed the number. His phone rang – once, twice, thrice – then he picked it up. She was not sure what she was going to say. He could not make out the words he heard.

She was slightly upset, he judged from her voice. It was expected. He tried to calm her with his onomatopoeic responses. He did not succeed; she could tell that he was distracted. She was feeling cheated. Calling him was her last option. He thought of the eggs and walked towards the kitchenette. She could hear him fidgeting with the pan.

She hated herself for having called at all. She fell silent. He was busy with the eggs, one eye on the watch. He was silent. The clock seemed to be ticking faster; time seemed to have slowed down. It was getting late, he thought.

Suddenly there was a sparkle in his eyes. “Can we talk later”, he said. She hung up without a reply.

He ran to the hall. She sank to the floor. Messi had opened the scoring in the final. She wept.

“Lovely Omelette”, he said, and turned up the volume.

Conversations with Self

2010-06-21T18:59:00.003+05:30

A lot of you keep asking me, “tu din bhar karta kya hai” (what do you do all day in your free time). Here’s the answer. In what follows, most of the lines were spoken in the head, some aloud. And it’s not this coherent in original, it’s been paraphrased.

“I need a plan. I really need a plan. I need to retire, retire early. I can't work for long. I should retire by the time I am 40. Yeah 40 seems reasonable. That gives me 16 years of working life. Spend a couple years doing MBA, and I am left with 14 years. Not bad. I hope I will be able to retire at 40, and not get bogged by social obligation. Obligations? Will I have a family to take care of? A kid maybe?

[No comment on this status update yet? Why isn’t anyone online?]

Hmm, I can have a kid. How old would he be then? Around 7 I guess. Yeah 33 seems to be a good age to have a kid. And when the kid is 7, that’s a good time to retire. Give my nurturing instincts a way to express themselves [chuckles to self]. Seriously, 7 is a good age to have fun with the kid. None of that diaper shit to take care of and none of the teenage tantrums that will come later. I will probably send the kid to some boarding school when he turns 14. Go throw tantrums at those boarding school people and stop bugging me. Yeah, 7 – 14 is good time to spend with him.

[Google Search: Lara Dutta wardrobe malfunction. LOL]

Ummm, if it’s a girl I can probably like her till she is, like, 16. More importantly, she will start hating me by then I guess. Stupid Claire Bennett. She has spoiled the good teenage girl image – I love daddy, I hate daddy, I want to be special, I want to have a normal life. For all her cuteness, she is one irritating bitch.

[Heheheh. Funny comment. “Like. Like”]

Though if I am having a kid at 33, when am I getting married. 32? 31? Nah, got to have at least 3 years without the kid. The kid spoils everything [chuckle to self again]. So I have to get married at 30. That gives me what, 6 years, from now? Damn, that’s very less. Ummm, do I like want to find a girl, fall in love, have an affair, a prolonged romance and then get married? Do I want all that? Shit, 6 years is too less for that. Shit, the plan is getting screwed up.

[Damn the fail whale. Aaaarrrgggghh.]

Ah wait. There’s a solution. No need getting married at 30. Oh super idea. Find a girl, get drunk, get laid, get her pregnant, and guess what, then I can marry her. Will she go for it? Well she would be over the hill herself, and may decide what the hell; probably it is time to settle. She might even treat the pregnancy as a divine sign telling her to settle down. Her self-respect should not be an issue. I mean she is sleeping around with me when I am 33, how much self-respect does she have to begin with.

Hehe. That seems like a good plan. It’s almost like the perfect plan. I am too awesome.

[Hohohoh hahaha hohoho. Jon Stewart. You are a genius. Ummm … gotta tweet that.]”

Active Learning

2010-06-06T02:19:00.005+05:30

Disclaimer #1: I am going a bit off the cuff with this post. Reader discretion is advised.

Disclaimer #2: This one too is dedicated to Dr Stephen T Colbert and that brings us to tonight’s WORD: ACTIVE LEARNING.

Now folks, every time I am home, I see this commercial on TV - this (kinda hot?) Mom bragging about how a certain DTH operator helped her learn English. Most of you would have seen it. And well, the first time I saw it, when she makes that transition and says pro-"noun"-cia-tion initially, I said to myself, Its pro-"nun"-cia-tion for god’s sake. Thankfully the ad makers took care of that.

So, why am I discussing pronunciations here? Well the simple fact is that most of the people get that pronunciation wrong. This is ok, considering it’s not our first language. People also get "restaurant" wrong. Hell, even I don’t know how to pro-NOUN-ce "restaurant". You see, French may be damn seductive, but it’s not the most phonetic of languages. (Don’t even get me started on "Au Revoir" and "Paris"). But the point is, people mess up words.

Now folks there’s another word out there, and a considerable percentage of people get it right. The number in itself may not be very high, but considering that the word is complex, probably French origin again (yes wiki-ed it, its French), and yet most people (around me) get it right. And the word is (wait for it) - Lingerie.

Now think about it. How did we learn that? Certainly it was never taught at school. No smartass went around looking up syllables in a dictionary. So how the hell did we learn that it’s "Lingerie" and not, well not-lingerie. So somehow, we have managed to pick up more than what has ever been taught in the classroom. And that, folks, is called ACTIVE LEARNING. And that’s tonight’s word.

We’ll be right back.

The Last One

2010-05-20T04:26:00.004+05:30

Hello KGP

In all probability this is the last blog written/posted from KGP. I started blogging after I came to KGP, and it’s been five years of rambling for me, and just somehow as I get ready to pack my computer for one last time, this turns out to be the 50th post on 22 Crossroads.

Five Years. Five years can do a lot to you. They can make you well up at a stupid farewell ceremony holding a stupid cup in your hand trying to make sense of some stupid words while kids around you chant 'speech speech'. Well, goodbyes are full of clichés -- it’s the end of an era, life will never be the same. And as Myth pointed out in his blog (link), Life outside Puri gate is a bitch. Five Years.

I started writing this blog on the day Sanjay Da, while serving, in the mess said, 'Aaj mere haath ka akhiri fish hai. Fir na aap rahiyega, na hum rahenge'. He always used to save a good (if not the best) piece of fish for me, and well, so the sento nerve was struck. Thank You Sanjay Da and Anil Da and Sahil - for feeding me, with love, over the last 4 years.

So, how does one sum up KGP in a single post? Maybe, by doing an Oscar style thank-you speech for the awesomest of people one has met here. It’s gonna be a heck of a long post. It’s gonna be cheesy, lame and even boring at times and yet I just have to, have to do it. As embarrassing as it may be to admit, over the last month and half, I have fallen deeper and deeper in love with this idea called KGP. And for me, as for most of us, KGP is about the people. Some of them I spent a lot of time; for some others I can only say that I wish that I had that privilege. If nothing else, these are the people I shall always remember.

Starting with people with whom I had among the very first interactions - ETDS 05 Guvs. Aditi, Sherpa and The Dawn - thank you for giving such a pleasing, loving, caring beginning to my KGP chapter.

A bit later in the year begun the chapter that was to be close to my heart for the next five year (and maybe more) - Robotix. It’s where I met a guy with a bag on his shoulders, scolding you one minute, smiling with you the next - Choubey Da - the friend, philosopher, guide, all in one. Thanks to TD for showing that PJs can actually be funny and Sabya for my first Photoshop Lessons!!

Now we all know har team bas ek hi gunda ho sakta hai - and there is no doubt is team ka gunda kaun hai. Sassy - it’s been fun being scared of you, it’s been fun jumping gates with you, its been fun hatching conspiracies and creating & diffusing situations with you. Thanks to Sarkar for carrying forwards TD's legacy, for introducing me to twitter, and for showing that even geeks
can sing Hotel California.

Then we came to our 2nd year and to, how do I put it subtly, to Patel Hall. Saying that I was shit-scared of this place would be the understatement of this half decade. Saying that I am madly in love with it right now would sneak that award from that last statement. Thanks to all my hall seniors for transforming me in more ways than one.

Sidharth Mallik, for showing that seniors do have an aura of their own, a real one.
Addu and Tuhin, for being so cool (that’s for Addu, not for you Tuhin :P) and for being so fun (this one’s for you).
Singh and Kanwa Singh: R.E.S.P.E.C.T
Mangu Jain: You are at the top of that category, wherein wish I had spent a lot more time with you.

Mishra: I don’t know why, but since that first day in the common room when you asked 'Who bought Burney Ecclestone’ villa?', since that day I have looked up to you, and still do. That’s why I bug you on gtalk ever so often (and shall continue to do so). Thanks for being - well, just you - and also for playing the awesomest 20-questions of my life everrrrr.

These awesome seniors notwithstanding, it was good to have moved up a pedestal and have juniors of my own. Here’s a big thanks to these wonderful kids for making my life fun, even when I was getting older and whimsical and crankier.

@Naman: A smoke in one hand, a beer in the other and Naman Jhavar on an acoustic guitar playing Luka Chupi - I am so gonna miss those nights. Thanks Juice, especially for the last year and half. Will so love to see/hear you play again.
@Aggu: Stop being paranoid, stop supporting DC and I will love you even more. Continue being crazily awesome.Thanks for the bird and for giving me more importance that I probably deserved. You know how I have loved it.
@Zoo: Hell, I like you but I don’t know why, so just be happy with that!!

@Gorab Da: A lot has been said already on our walls (asli wale, not facebook ones). So lemme just add that NOW YOU ARE A FIFTH YEAR AND YOU CAN DO ANYTHING, never forget that. And also remember, you are basically a (much) younger version of me. And yeah, thanks for choosing me when Sethi was sleeping :P
@Sneha: 'thr thr asleep again' - I just wanted to write it somewhere :) Thanks for being a patient ear to my incessant ramblings over the last year and half. And it’s been a pleasure being the patient ear to yours. And yeah, smile: it suits you.
@Rasna: Let me preface by saying that this is not an olive branch :P. But with you offline, facebook, gtalk and twitter haven’t been half as much fun. Thanks for all the ammo and for happily being the target of my virtual bully behavior.

And finally, the KGP batch of 2005. More than anything, thank you guys for tolerating me over the last 4-5 years.

@Punters: Thanks for a cool first year at KGP. Thanks to you guys I didn’t stay all locked up in my room (as I had imagined it would be).

@Wingies: Saalon ek baar to kahin chal lete. Mere Rao Da career pe laga yeh dhabba mitane ka mauka to dete. But worry not, I shall keep making more plans, if only to invite cynical comments. Special thanks to Myth for continually shunning my away, in order to help me stay straight. I had understood your strategy on first day itself.

@Rbtx05: We guys are just too awesome man. That’s why all of you are tagged as 'dudes' in my gtalk list. Thanks for being patient with my designs when I sucked, for being critical when I was good and for just going along with my whims and fancies. A 15 ft banner and a 50sqft of unframed paintings - seriously, what was I thinking. Thanks for making my stupid Help Desk job look awesome. And over all, thanks for dreaming together, and then making it possible (except for Pocket Tanks and fire in the arena). We are just too damned awesome.

@Mech Study Group: Thanks for (always) studying in my room so I didn’t have to move my lazy a**. Thanks for watching TV shows, movies, documentaries, Gult videos, cricket (and a lot more), playing Contra, Mario - all while when we were supposed to be studying.

@CCD Group: Thanks for making and helping me blow half my money away. You guys are also to blame for my obesity. And for all the red and black chaugi’s and panji’s.

@Soni, KG, Loadu and Mainta: For 29, when AC and Coffee were not added incentives. Also, Soni kabhi cheating nahi karta hai!! :P

@KG and Loadu: Chalo ghar khojte hain!

So did I miss anyone? Ah, well !! You thought you had escaped the cheese fest, didn’t you?

@Sandy: Thanks for being the continual pain in the a**. Trust me - this is the best compliment I can give you. Without you pushing my all the while, I would hardly be this awesome. Thankfully now I am.

What’s left? Discussing my KGP crushes?? :P :P
Lets leave that for some other time (yes @myth: Lets leave it, for some other time.)

At one point I wanted to pen down a few lines of my own, trying to reminisce those yellow misty nights, those order after order of chai and special chai and super special chai, those hungry niteouts at the rbtx arena, not so hungry niteouts in the common room, tempo shouts at netaji, the legend of the subcoms, cursing the bong business sense and the spirit of cholbe na, random trips to kolkata, 2.2s, the bhaat sessions esp during exams; trying to survive, dream, live and die -- all at once. One may curse KGP all one wants, but in the end, if you had to, you would do it all over again. So that’s it KGP. That’s 5 years of my life - and just like that, it’s all in the past now.

So Long, and in the words of Jim Morrison, This is the end, this is my goodbye. See you around.

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end

It hurts to set you free
But you'll never follow me
The end of laughter and soft lies
The end of nights we tried to die

This is the end

Just get a string quartet to play me off with Jefferseon Airplane's Embryonic Journey and I shall call it a perfect journey with a perfect ending.

--
manGO, keeda, Rao Da, Xerxeus, Kroni, Ritwik (take your pic)

That's All Folks

2010-03-25T04:25:00.008+05:30

Top 2 ON. Baby ON !!

4 years. 7 events.

It’s been a long journey ... one filled with roadblocks, preconceived notions, mindsets and apprehensions.

For you I have been a long haired devil, a fat bare-chested cannibal, a camouflage-trousered terrorist and a bald megalomaniac.

In these 7 events I have probably managed a total of 7 different expression at max (you know where I tilt my head a little, open my eyes big, then rotate the head in a plane and them smell something weird :P (watch 6:10 to 6:20 of this video for reference) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9BvDtiD7gg). A loudspeaker in my vocal chords and my audacious experiments with hair has been my saving grace as an actor.

I have been as lethargic a director (Mythun will vouch for that) as I have been whimsical -- cracking jokes and shouting at people within 5 minutes of each other.

But, I have dreamt and fortunately seen some of them come true (we pulled off a f***ing MUSICAL dude). Yes, in 2006 Patel Drams was a dream -- 1 Bronze, 2 Silvers, 2 Best Directors and 2 Golds later I can say this -- its been one hell of a journey.

Spectacular, Spectacular -- That’s Patel Drams and Me!!

And despite the narcissist that I am -- this journey would have been nothing without you guys. Thanks to everyone who has been a part of this dream for the last 4 years and special Thank You to Mandal Da, Shreyas, Aggu, Bharti, Sharad, Khare, Shobhit, Zoo, Guchu, Naman, Nivi, Rathore, Faridi, Mikesh, Akshat, Bish, Sahu, Raju, Apurv, KK, Myth, Tempo Da and Sandy. My KGP story would be incomplete without you guys.

So that's it -- no more travelling from Patel to Netaji in a truck, no more hair do, no more frusst nite outs, no more dreaming scenes (I literally had drams scenes playing in my dreams before last 2 productions) ... and no more tempo shouts on Netaji stage.

That's all folks.

Judges, please note the empty stage.

Nostalgia

2010-02-26T04:48:00.008+05:30

1. JEE counseling brochure
2. Morrison and Boyd
3. Constitution of the Patel Hall
4. Half a bottle of Kahlua
5. Manuscript of two 13 year old poems (written in 97-98)
6. Script of "The Pie and the Tart" and "Me Against Myself"
7. Secretary election funda diary
8. A half written ____-letterish thingy [;)]
9. A bottle of hair oil (yes from those times)
10. Load Runner Quarter Final Result Sheet
11. This photograph

Top-10(+1) things found while cleaning the room.

Sach is Life

2010-02-24T23:24:00.008+05:30

It was 4 pm. I was hungry, having not eaten anything for close to 15 hours. I had spent the last two hours in an examination hall where I had found out the actual name of the course for the first time. Common sense dictated – get food and get rest. Thankfully I had 2 missed calls, when I checked my phone after the exam. They were from Mom. I called back and found out that He was batting on 75. If I did not believe in serendipity earlier, I do now.

We all know what happened next, and papers tomorrow will be full of it. In few or more words they will all call Him a living legend – there was never a doubt over that. They will all salute His genius – one would be blind not to have observed that already. They’ll say men like Him are born once in a century – and surely time will stand witness to that. They’ll all say cricket will never be the same without Him – and I dread to think of the day when He decides to say “that’s all folks”.

Somehow, I always feel that my words will do justice to what I felt, and always I terribly fail. Last time around, 4 months ago, I could manage less than 60 words [here]. If only I could do better this time around.

Soon the shots will begin to fade and the numbers will be reduced to a list in the books of stats. What will remain is the memory, an image – like those of a sandstorm, like those of a cut over point – the image of a man looking up at the sky with a tricolor embracing helmet in one hand and a 30-in piece of willow in the other.

This achievement makes Him no greater than he already is. This is not a feat He needed. But it is the world of cricket that deserved someone like Him to score the first double ton in ODI. It is the world of cricket that is honored to have Him as the first double centurion in ODIs.

Thank God that I parked myself in front of the television at 1615 hrs on Feb 24th 2010 – I could never have forgiven myself otherwise.

And Thank You – for always giving me a reason to say “I’m proud to be an Indian”.

Honour

2009-11-06T03:35:00.008+05:30

We are cynical. We are judgmental. We are audacious. We laugh. We fight. We shout out throats out. We are superstitious to the point of insanity. We forget pain. We cry with joy. We doubt. We fear.

We are India, as long as HE is there.
and WE BELIEVE.

It has been an honour to see you play.

Stupid Roses

2009-09-18T04:33:00.006+05:30

She was not sure what had happened to her. She did not want to cry – not this time. She was not sure how long she could hold it. Although she hated herself for these moments, sometimes the urge and the fear were too strong to control. This certainly wasn’t the first of those moments. She felt like shouting, shrieking, crying, making a scene – something – anything to make her feel better – about herself. But she knew there would be none of it – not this time. She had resolved there would be no pleading and cajoling either. This time she had to be strong. Not knowing how long this resolve would last, she stared at the roses.

He wasn’t sure why he was there – like that. Had he done something wrong? Again? He did not dislike answering these oft-repeated questions periodically. But he did not like them either. He was fighting the urge to wisecrack. This was not an appropriate time. Off late, there never seemed to be an appropriate time. He was not angry, he was not displeased, he was not disillusioned – he was just overcome by a bout of indifference. He knew it. It did not bother him. Not knowing what to say, he stared at the roses.

The roses were not sure what was going on. Although this was not the first stand-off, this felt different. She was not bitter, nor ecstatic; he was not jocular, nor chagrined. When she had been to the flower shop this morning, she had been all smiles and cheers. She had been humming a song they didn’t know. They had noticed him glow when she had entered the room. They had enjoyed it. Now the silence was deafening. They looked on.

The indifference bothered her. Was he not interested in her anymore? Had she become too predictable for him? He never said so. These days he hardly ever said anything. She felt unvalued, helpless; maybe even unwanted. She knew he did not intend to hurt her. But wasn’t she, too, entitled to her phases of unwarranted paranoia and self doubt? She knew he did not talk a lot; but didn’t she deserve a few answers? Or, had he taken her for granted?

He did take her for granted. As with the indifference, this too did not bother him though. He was not against answering questions – he just did not know what to say; and he never understood why she had all these questions and doubts at all. He did not. For him this was it. He knew nothing could ever go wrong between them – and this is why he took her for granted. For him this was a manifestation of faith. But he couldn’t explain this to her; he never tried. For him, it was obvious.

None of them had spoken for a long time and this was making the roses very uncomfortable. They wished they were not present there then; they wished she had not picked them up that morning. They had expected they would make him happy – she had intended the same. They awaited all apprehensions and misgivings to evaporate, yet with each passing second the air was getting heavier, colder.

They heard him break the silence without breaking the gaze. “What do you want me to say?” he asked. She kept staring at them. She was silent. The roses were silent. Silence. Teardrop. They bled.

He could not look at her crying, so he looked away. She picked up the roses and threw them in the dustbin. “Stupid roses”, she said, and walked out of the room.

PS: A sequel to this is available at "Lovely Omelette"

22Crossroads

2009-08-12T13:42:00.003+05:30

As some of you may have noticed this blog has shifted to 22Crossroads. That is my personal website that launched last month. There is much more at 22Crossroads .. just follow the navigation menu at the bottom. Also update your bookmarks.
Hope you have fun at 22Crossroads.

Moon and Back -- The WebComic

2009-07-20T01:16:00.005+05:30

Moon and Back -- The WebComic by ~ritwik-mango on deviant ART

Clebrating 40 years of the so-called Moon landing

Special mention: Bish

Self Portrait

2009-07-19T20:14:00.001+05:30

My second attempt at digital painting ...
Model: ME
Artist : ME
Inspiration: ME

Self Portrait by ~ritwik-mango on deviant ART

CTE : Go Goa

2009-04-29T22:20:00.011+05:30

If you thought that the CTE wing write up would be about heaving praises on its occupants ....

Before we go any further, acquaint yourself with the following diagram. You would have to come back to it a lot.

Anuj
Anuj’s room is the party hub. Be it new years, be it birthdays, be it placements, and be it scholarships. If there is a reason to celebrate, it is being celebrated and it is being celebrated in his room. There is always enough stockpile of non-spurious alcohol for everyone. There is always enough music. And of course there’s his group of alcoholic anonymous (refer Fig. 1). They come, they see and they conquer all the potable water in the wing. (Aside: The author does not mind that as long as they support United).

While we have never seen him do anything even remotely academic, he had somehow kept a sub-7 CG but accumulated a string of scholarships and internships for himself. Of course if your area of interest is lalaland, then he is the authority to talk to. This small man has been credited with the quote “G is God …. God is G”.

He has quite a taste – in girls and otherwise. While in 1st year, he had a thing for a 3rd year bandi. Some of his other trysts with other girl(s) are well documented. Off late, he has been keeping himself busy by himself (if the plaster on his hand is any indication). All we hope that he doesn’t break any more doors (like he did to Myth’s).

Myth
Playing a bride on stage, in kindergarten (and being nervous if there is going to be a suhaag raat scene), is bound to affect the way you shape up as an adult. Add to that the fact that he studied in a boys’ school and then came to KGP and then Patel. Hence, that Mithun ended up as the most loved/desired/lusted guy in the wing (if not the hall) is no surprise. We try to stay in his good books in hope that he would grant us some personal favours. Also the fact that he is rich (not the richest, though. cf: Sagi). End results: we all love him (refer fig 1). But the thing is ask him any question he would say “No”. Khaane chalega? No; FIFA khelega? No; Can I kiss you? No.

This cute boy is kinda delusional. He thinks “logon ki lene mein” he is great. Thus, he is prone to delve into “orgasmic laughter fits” when he thinks he has succeeded, especially with Rao Da. He is also prone to injuries, especially on footer fields, and he especially loves breaking the bones in his forearm.

Mithun, Myth, Maggu, Mota, Mallu – call him what you like, he has a way with things. He follows a meticulous, complex, intricate procedure to filter the girls he comes across. And then he settles on mallu girls. But don’t you expect him to make an effort for it, all he does is filter them; nothing further. At least not that we know of.

Bish
Ahem Ahem. Well Bish is just Bish. If there is one thing Bish is an expert on, its “katwana”. No one can challenge him to that. While returning from Calcutta in a local train, he fell asleep, missed getting down in KGP, and spent 3 hours at the next station waiting for a train back to KGP; all this at one in the night. He did not clear GATE, because the chief invigilator found him dancing before the mirror in the toilet, with a cell phone in his pocket. If there’s a situation jahan katwana impossible hai, bish can do it. Girls, BTP, anything. Unlike Mithun, Bish actually makes an attempt with a girl – but end mein to katwata hi hai.

He bought a guitar, a toaster, a pair of dumbbells and a skipping rope, among other items. None of them are currently being used by Bish. And we all hope the skipping rope was not involved in satisfying any fetish or fantasy.

When Myth broke his hand (cf: Myth), Bish was the only one rejoicing, because he got ownership of Mithun’s room. These days, apart from using Myth’s computer, he is sleeping in his room, wearing his trousers, writing in his notebooks. He prefers to use his own Vaseline though.
Lastly, it has been reported that Bish and Tiwari Da watched a movie in a multiplex, where the only audience was 2 couples sitting in two corners, and these 2 of course. God knows what they did there, they came down with a….

Khandu
Since Khandu spends most of his time in/with RP (refer fig 1), a lot is not known about his whereabouts. We do know for a fact that he loves cricket and smoking. We are yet to figure out which takes a higher preference. Due to his love for smoke, he invariable owes almost every one of us some multiple of Rs 10. When he is not at Bhasky or in RP or preparing for CFA, he can be found as Bheema on 10.109.7.7 shouting start the game all ready.

Khandu Fact #1: Khandu jab 2 run bana ke out hota hai (which according to him has happened only once), that means the opponent bowler was some stud. “Yaar saame wala Ranji player tha yaar”.

Khandu Fact #2: While he has hardly ever been seen with a girl, he had quite a thing for a chinki girl when interning in Korea. And yes a girl wrote him a testimonial saying “Pehli baar jaana ki ladke bhi emotional hote hain, caring hote hain”.

Tiwari Da
If there is one thing Prabhakar Tiwari loves, then it is Ocean Engineering and Naval Architecture. Forget wing, forget bandi, forget everything else, Tiwari is interested in only one thing: Naav banane mein. So much so that he says that irrespective of his rank, he will make his brother join OENA in KGP. No wonder younger brothers hate their elder siblings.

So when Tiwari is not making boats, he is lecturing us on something. The topic doesn’t matter; the time doesn’t matter; if there is a discussion going on, Tiwari has to be a part of it. Funde dene mein no. 1 hai. Tiwari da ke funde.

Well he has the cleanest room in the wing. He takes 30 mins to comb his hair. He owns a printer, but charges his wing-mates, at market rate, for printouts. He even maintained a diary for tracking who owes him how much for print outs. (He lost the diary though, and had to seek Rao Da’s help. cf: Rao da). Other hobbies include mess contractor pe fine lagana, and enjoying tea at Anils with Adi and Rao Da.

Despite all this, Tiwari Da ki life settled hai. Naukri bhi hai; chhokri bhi hai; naukri wale bhi ready hain tiwari da ko lene ke liye; gharwale bhi ….

Soni
Soni too has naukri and chhokri, but unlike Tiwari da, his life is anything but settled. Reason? Soni ki life mein load hai.
Load, load, load, load, load, load, load, load, load, load, load, load, load, load, load, load, load, load, load, load.
That is Soni. Isko har cheez se load hota hai.

Mess ka khaana kharab hai; Sahu kapde dho ke machine saaf nahi kiya; Anuj raat mein zor zor se gaane kyon bajata hai; alarm laga ke room lock kar ke kaun gaya; bandi ke ghar wale nahi maan rahe; kisi ke paas sutta nahi hai; sone do yaar; etc etc etc. Drilling ke time pe he was the most frustrated guy in the wing.

He doesn’t just take load. Isko to load dene mein bhi maza aata hai, especially Myth ko.
Here are a few things that we haven’t been able to figure out about Soni:
1. Why does he roam around all day in a towel?
2. MCM ka paisa jaata kahan hai?
3. How many random girls are there on his gtalk/ skype?
A few things that we do know about him:
1. He hates Som. When everyone was shouting DOSA DOSA, Soni was shouting Som Som.
2. He would be the first one among us to get married.
3. He and Rao da were involved in a voluntary live-in for one semester.

Sahu
How do I say this politely? Sahu makda hai. And of course is se sabse jyaada load Soni ko hota hai (cf: Soni). Again since he spends most of his time in the confines of Architecture and Regional Planning, a lot is not known about him. What we do know is that in terms of body hair, Sahu can easily beat Anil Kapoor.

Some of us have also learnt at a great price, what can be the cost of giving your cell number to him. You can expect calls from his home and his girlfriend at 5:00 in the morning and 2:00 in the night. He intentionally keeps his phone switched off/ out of order so that he doesn’t have to receive calls. And as a result Tiwari da, Sagi, Bish and Adi have to act as his secretary.

Also, Sahu is a Peeping Tom. He finds cracks in people’s doors (read Adi’s) and uses those vents when the latter is engrossed in his carnal ordeals. Understandably, he doesn’t shut his own door when involved in those ordeals himself.

Sahu and Bish have their own special bond based on vegetarianism and choreography (refer fig 1). These days though Sahu is trying his luck with Shanghai Chinkies.

Harsha
First things first, Harsha’s got a hell of a derriere, even better than Myth. Now that’s a curve ball you can’t dodge; if you know what I mean.
I know only Harsha can find sense in that last line, since he is just that. Pathetic jokes filled with euphemisms and innuendos. That’s not shocking for someone who spends 16 hours a day watching some TV series. So he thinks he can dance.

DSH’s biggest dilemma moment would be when Superman starts driving for McLaren Mercedes (cos he just loves Ferrari). If you initiate a discussion on this topic though, he would indulge in a monologue, intricately explaining why such a scenario is logically and factually impossible. Funde dene mein Harsha is second only to Tiwari, and the only difference is that while Tiwari talks gibberish, Harsha tries to make sense.

Harsha’s diet consists mainly of Lays and Wai-Wai (though these days he has taken to smoking as well, so much so that he is the one who supplied Soni with cigarettes). A packet of Lays might well be the reason why his room is always locked on the inside. Shockingly he did manage to clear GATE (cf: Bish), and even more shocking is the fact that he has not yet been deregistered in any course. Also, if you planning to go anywhere, he and Sagi would be the last one to get ready, so give them enough advance notice.

Adi
If Myth is the most loved/lusted guy in the wing, Adi is certainly the most loving (refer Fig. 1). In fact Adi is the alter ego to most of us. All of us have hair, Adi is bald (at least making all efforts to get there). All of us work/will work for companies, Adi already has stake in 2 companies (albeit indirectly). And most importantly, we all are forgetful, Adi is …. well, the database.

While all specifications of this database are still being researched, it can be confirmed that Name, Department and Place columns of his database are well indexed and easily searchable. He has a special remarks column as well and specialises in guys from Hyderabad. The database is not restricted to the hall, and encompasses the entire institute. Although the GUI leaves much to be desired, this database is very user friendly.

For Example:
Query 1: VVSJ (yes it’s a 4 letter query)
Result: VVSJ Prasanna, 2nd Yr, OENA, Bandi, Rajahmundry, Gult, Good Looking
Query 2: Gandhi
Result: Gandhi Arun Kumar, Patel, 3rd year, CS, Vizag, owns a Pulsar bike
(Did anyone know this much about this guy, including current 3rdyears?)
Not surprisingly he has been christened “Torchbearer” and “Third Year”.

He spends his free time seducing people. He is a brand shopper and owns a 20ml perfume bottle worth 20 Euros. If you need to use the database you can locate him at Anils (usually in the company of Rao Da and Tiwari Da).

Sagi
Sagi soft spoken hai, lekin andar se harami hai.
This particular line was decided to be a part of this writeup before any other. 2nd years coming for wing interaction call him soft spoken (read harmless). And it took us 3 semesters to realise ki who andar se harami hai. He keeps talking soft, aur sabka kaatta rehta hai. Of late, it has been observed ki woh kamina bhi hai. Also since this sem was the first time he has been at the receiving end of our banter, it has been found that he too takes load. Next batch of 2nd years: beware of him. He is our silent assassin.

It is well known that Sagi is the at least 5 crore man. That is his value in the dowry market. It started at 2 crores last semester, and while the rest of the world was caught in recession, he managed to revalue himself at 5 crores.

He is known to bribe his BTP guide by getting him sweets (poothareku) from home (Yo Gult guide for our soft spoken gult). But when a girl asked him for a treat in the SF arena, Sagi summarily refused. The girl kept nagging (Raju treat Raju Treat), but he didn’t budge.
It is also known that Myth ke induction effect se, Sagi has also learnt to say “No”. That’s why he is called “motato” (var, Mota2). Except sabko paani pila deta hai. If you are thirsty, that is the time de doesn’t say NO.

Sagi Fun Fact #1: He wants to change his name to Sudhir.
Sagi Fun Fact #2: Sagi rao da ke room se bhirni bhagata hai.
Sagi Fun Fact #3: There are 45 letters in his name.
In fact when he was in 2nd year, OP mein he only used to say Sagi Subrahmanya Raju (which was good for us), but when he came to 3rd year, bachchon ki maarne ke liye started using his full name: Sagi Veera Venkata Satya Ganpathi Subrahmanya Raju.
Once again let it be known, Sagi andar se harami hai, lekin soft spoken hai !!!

and finally...
Rao Da
Rao Da is the honorary post held by Ritwik (aka mango, keeda), for managing all financial matters of the wing, and he does exceptionally well.

Rao Da calculates who has to pay what after a dinner; Rao Da orders for everyone at restaurants; Rao Da plans Cal trip and knows who owes how much; Rao Da ke dictionary mein “keep the change” nahi hota; Rao Da is the right channel if you want your order to arrive quick (people who don’t follow this channel have been known to suffer); Rao Da has excel files of what’s been spent at every treat and trip.

Earlier Rao Da also used to be trip planner for the wing, but he relinquished that post the day Sagi proved ki woh andar se harami hai (cf: Sagi).

When it comes to funda, Rao Da stands third to Tiwari and DSH. Again, while Tiwari is gibberish and DSH tries to makes sense, Rao Da follows a simple axiom: Rao Da is always right.

It is universally known that Rao Da is a sucker for publicity. He loves being the centre of things (refer fig 1). While others were amusing themselves with the concept, Rao Da sneaked himself into the centre of that figure as well (quite literally). While it is not known how low Rao Da is ready to go, that he is writing his own write-up can be used as a benchmark.

-- Rao Da (_manGO_)

Classroom Doodle

2009-03-17T23:38:00.003+05:30

Classroom Girl by ~ritwik-mango on deviant ART

What started as a doodle in a classroom [link] ended up becoming this.

This is my first attempt at coloring in Photoshop. Had to refer to quite a few tutorials. Not great, I knw ... but I hope it is not that bad for a first attempt.

#1: My sincerest apologies to the girl. Firstly for sketching her without her permission. Secondly, for doing a bad job of it.

#2: also for getting the clip wrong. Since i could not draw a clutcher, I replaced it with a back clip.

#3: and the hair color is wrong as well. Cos i could not get proper shades in black.