The Complete Guide to Everything

Stuffed Crust Pizza and Two Sad Men

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 21:28:58 +0000

This week, Tom's hungry and Tim is stricken with a mild case of Super Bowl Fever. We discuss the surprising difficulty of getting a stuffed crust pizza delivered, Tim's awkwardness when booking a massage appointment, an interesting conversation Tom heard through his window and we argue about the relevance of Ferris Bueller in 2012. Also, Tom adds another item to his Mundane Bucket List and we solve a roommate squabble in a new installment of Tim and Tom Solve Your Problems.

Groundhog Day

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 04:28:34 +0000

Tim goes to the Philharmonic, Groundhog's Day vs. Groundhog Day, equinoxes, learning facts through rhymes, Tom's S.A.D., Pennsylvanian dialects, disagreements about how interesting the Amish are, famous groundhogs, the Brian Doyle-Murray movie, NEW SEGMENT: Lyrical Analysis: Stevie Wonder's "Part-time Lover" plus Tim and Tom Solve a Military Problem.

Facebook

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 01:18:20 +0000

This week we discuss all things Facebook, including 4 types of annoying Facebook users, the long, emotional process of canceling your account and the inherent insincerity of the Facebook "Happy Birthday" message. The hot new segment "Mundane Bucket List" returns as Tim announces his first entry. Also, Tim is annoyed by a woman at the deli and Tom insults all women in general.

Underwear

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 01:46:50 +0000

Underwear shopping, replacing underwear, a frank discussion about boxers, briefs and box-briefs, 24 hour a day websites, and an exciting new segment: The Mundane Bucket List.

Medicine

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 04:39:16 +0000

This week we discuss getting pity when you're sick, picking regular cold medicine over "extra strength" medicine, Tom's back problems, Tim's quest for Nyquil immunity and homeopathic remedies. This episode also includes a long segment from the recent TCGTE live New York City show, where we discuss the major events of 2011.

New Year's Resolutions

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 06:27:49 +0000

Inaccurate New Year's countdowns, Williamsburg turning into a war zone on New Year's Eve, literally running away from your problems, avoiding nursing homes, getting in shape for the new year and podcasting in a new language.

Kim Jong Il

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 18:02:04 +0000

This week, Tom is very enthusiastic about some good deeds he's performed and Tim is beaten down by a trip to the mall. Then we talk about Kim Jong Il's golfing prowess, dissect more claims made by the deceased crazy person, and Tom contemplates taking a trip to North Korea.

Christmas Songs

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 00:55:51 +0000

A frank discussion of what type of wine to bring to a holiday party, a genius idea for a make your own wine label store, plugs for live shows in New York City and London, and we count down the Top 10 Christmas Songs of all time while writing our own new, instant classic. Do you have loved ones? Are you buying them gifts for the holidays? Make sure you do it through TCGTE.com/Amazon to help support the show!

Santa Claus

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 22:35:34 +0000

This week we talk about Santa Claus! We discuss not letting your kids listen to this show, the history of Santa Claus, the times we each discovered a little secret about Santa, sending mail by burning it in a fireplace, eight legged horses and the logic of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. We also solve a problem for somebody who made an unfortunate choice of university.

The SkyMall Holiday Gift Guide

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 00:52:52 +0000

Tom pulls an amateur laundry tipping move, Tim reminisces about The Real World San Francisco (again) and we go through the top gifts you can buy for any asshole on your list from the SkyMall catalogue.

The Muppets

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 23:00:00 +0000

Tim and Tom discuss their upcoming NYC Live Show on December 30th and then get right into the Muppets. Topics include being afraid of Muppet enthusiasts, Tim's childhood fears of Muppets coming alive in his room, Tom's Jim Henson college stories, OJ Simpson's ill-advised pranks, the sad fate of trench coats and Fraggle Rock as an antidote to laser-shooting robots. Also, theories are discussed regarding a college professor who places a lot of importance on snacks.

Cranksgiving & Sleep No More

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 01:36:35 +0000

Tim rides a bike way further than his body was willing to take him in the name of charity and Tom attends the theater in this week's episode: Cranksgiving / Sleep No More.

Zooey Deschanel

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 00:38:40 +0000

This week we cover Tom's continuing Batman-related depression, tales of playground cowardice, the mistaken belief that Zooey Deschanel is attainable and irritatingly opportunistic crooners. We also tackle a New York Times article about a fool, receive an invitation to Thanksgiving dinner at a listener's house and solve a risqué problem.

Marathons

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 23:00:06 +0000

This week we discuss Tim's new tell-all book, bringing your own bread to a deli, Tom losing out on the role of a lifetime in The Dark Knight Rises, setting up booby traps for marathon runners and we solve a young woman's problems with meeting men.

Listener Mail

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 23:45:58 +0000

This week we go through the millions of emails we receive from our loyal listeners. They ask us for advice, correct our many mistakes, provide more information on topics from previous episodes and give us slow cooker recipes. We also talk about annoying questions at Halloween parties, calling into radio shows and fighting with the hosts, strange radio shows that report on children's playground gossip and we try to coordinate a podcast dinner party with all of our listeners.

Halloween Spooktacular 2011

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 00:03:04 +0000

Tom reviews the new Batman Arkham City, Batman Goggles, Tim's Homeschooling, sexy smock Halloween costumes, poisoned Halloween candy, celebrating Halloween as a responsible adult, a tragic Pepper the House Horse update, befriending bums and Tim's call for recipes.

Zombies

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 22:28:26 +0000

Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! This week we talk about the all things zombies including The Walking Dead, World War Z, real life Haitian zombies and how we'd fare in the zombie apocalypse. And also: using this podcast as torture, overtipping jerk baristas, dating habits of the petite and the last episode of M*A*S*H.

Steve Jobs

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 02:47:03 +0000

This week, Tom and Laugh-A-Minute Bill Barnaby pay tribute to Steve Jobs and celebrate his legacy. Also covered: KB Toys vs. Toys R Us, racist Commodore 64 games, prank calling the Home Shopping Network instead of going on spiritual journeys to India, using a computer with a weird cassette tape drive, doctors chopping their own salads, Tom's ill-fated trip to the doctor's office and seeing your pediatrician when you're 20 years old.

Hamburgers

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 01:29:00 +0000

Musings on Two and a Half Men, the importance of nice buns, the scam behind McDonald's Monopoly game, Tom's heartbreaking tale of childhood loneliness, Tim almost sacrifices his life for the best hamburger in NYC, plus we solve some problems with girlfriend friends and 80s sax songs.

Ancient Aliens

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 03:28:58 +0000

Tales of rich lady pizzeria haggling, Tom willing to pay exorbitant prices for Back to the Future Nike Air Mags, selfish notions of wishing NYC was grittier, the Ark of the Covenant being a nuclear device, nuclear explosions thousands of years ago, Ancient Volcanos and some advice about sending us drunk emails in the middle of the night.

Jeopardy

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 04:08:24 +0000

This week we discuss a possible Jeopardy conspiracy, book festivals vs. comic book conventions, punching people in the back of the head and getting pantsed in Junior High. Also, we also discuss a particular type of a**hole we didn't realize existed until the New York Times pointed it out to us, with some controversy.

Back to School

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 02:00:22 +0000

It's Back to School time kids! This week we cover the types of products Amazon.com sells, old people with face tattoos, the cruelness of back to school marketing, moving to college, Trapper Keepers vs. iPads, Tom attempting to start a bar brawl and pencil cases.

Weddings

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 04 Sep 2011 21:06:39 +0000

This week we talk about weddings and whatnot. We'll discuss how much cursing is acceptable in a best man toast, what to do if you forget the bride's name at a wedding, and why not to wear an $85 tuxedo to the next wedding you attend. Also, Tom dreams about personal helicopters, Tim has written a lot more songs than you'd expect and the two of them give some relationship advice in another installment of Tim and Tom Solve Your Problems.

Hurricanes

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 00:18:17 +0000

Shredder technology, NYC Earthquake, local news reporters, drug tests, Sade Baderinwa is a compulsive liar, hipster hurricane survival, rats coming out of the toilets, Hog Island, government controlling the weather.

The Kardashians

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 22:00:00 +0000

This week Tim and Tom struggle to keep up with the Kardashians, who generally confuse them more than anything else. Also, Tim desperately needs glasses but won't wear them because he got a bad haircut, Tom has a question about urinals, Tim makes the wrong choice when making a citizen's arrest and Back to the Future guru Tom talks about recent BTTF origin stories.

Last Minute Vacations

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 14 Aug 2011 22:41:25 +0000

This week Tom mulls over where to go during his week of from the mill. Destinations considered include vigilantism in Pittsburgh, The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, Clooneying a North Carolinian Town, or staying in a capsule hotel in Tokyo. Chinese factories, Tim's new intro man, pre-selling your possessions in case of death and The Bug Light/Complete Guide to Everything Party Cruise are also discussed.

Museums

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 04:09:55 +0000

Prepare to get cultured this week! Tim and Tom discuss museums of all kinds, including several that don't exist but should. We also go over our recent NYC live show, and explain why it wasn't recorded (WHOOPS!). Also, we talk about hobos using libraries, Tom's bloody video games, Tim's explicit music purchases and we solve a problem for a Canadian moving to New York.

New York Yankees

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 01 Aug 2011 00:15:37 +0000

Tim Accuses Tom of Being Bimbo, Playboy at the library, Zillions, Weird Legal Drugs, Tim Explains How The Show Works and Who The Yankees Are For Those Who Do Not Like Baseball, Literally Giving Your Life for Derek Jeter, Tim's Conversation with Bobby Abreu, A Lord of the Ring-esque Journey for Better Seats, Alex Trebek: Vigilante?, T&T Solve a Problem with a Methhead Yard Sale Customer, Another Plug for the NYC Live Show and a Brief Discussion of When People Started to Hate Gwyneth Paltrow.

Beating the Heat

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 24 Jul 2011 23:45:39 +0000

It's a heat wave! Listen to Tim and Tom debate the merits of the heat index, talk about experiences with morons in pizza places and encourage everyone to bring an escort to the NYC Live Show on August 4th. Also, Tim & Tom Solve Your Problems, returns with a listener who has a severe cat urine problem.

Planking

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 17 Jul 2011 22:25:35 +0000

Netflix outrage, AT&T's futuristic creepy phone booths, the promise of Epcot Center, Grandfathering, Planking, Balconies, Owling, Tim Meets the World's Smallest Woman, Tom Insults Astronauts, Pat Sajak's Secret Agenda, Derek Jeter's Baseball Soup, North Korean Women's Soccer Team Hit By Lightning, Crime Corner: Prison Porn and Lactation as a Weapon

Swimming Pools

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 04:00:00 +0000

Who doesn't love swimming pools? Evildoers, that's who. This week, Tim and Tom discuss everybody's favorite summer pastime, sitting around in filthy pools of water. Tom talks about his many heroic saves as a lifeguard and Tim speaks about his recent car accident and the old man on the street who put a spell on him.

Cults

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 04 Jul 2011 04:16:31 +0000

This week we discuss: Boy Meets World Meets Cults, Tricking Tim into Joining a Cult,Technical Difficulties, Cargo Cults, Heaven's Gate Cult, Getting Your World Views from 4 Year Olds, Don't Listen to Star Trek, Alien Abduction Insurance, Drinking the Flavor-Aid and Tim & Tom Solve Your Fake Problems in The Complete Guide to Cults.

Summertime Part 1

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 27 Jun 2011 04:11:32 +0000

Tim and Tom share their thoughts on the hottest season of the year and debate whether adults should enjoy the summer. Also covered: buying children's clothes to take advantage of back to school sales, visiting Amish country, creating foreign alter-egos to avoid boring conversations and we solve a problem from a man named Constable Wayne.

Canadian Travel

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 19 Jun 2011 22:39:00 +0000

This week we talk about traveled 90 minutes and being in a completely different country than America! Also we go over the New York Live Show, Email Addresses with a space in them, Coconuts M&Ms, Peanut Allergies, Adventures at the M&M Store in Times Square, Fight or Flight, Witnessing a Murder in the Woods while Camping, Old Ladies and the Rules, Tom's Flight Delays and a Lovely Dinner for One at a Classy Establishment.

Father's Day

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 00:21:00 +0000

Need to get your dad a last minute Father's Day gift? We'll give you some ideas, but first we talk about jet packs, hover bikes and how to pick up a famous journalist at a high school prom. Then it's off to Brookstone to sit in the fancy vibrating chairs and buy some crap for your pops!

Zooey and The Berge

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 06 Jun 2011 04:58:19 +0000

In this week's thrilling installment Tom discuses his early childhood detective career, a juggling update, the dangers of being hypnotized, a call to action for Zooey and The Berge, getting advice from t-shirts and Tim and Tom solve a paperboy's problem.

BBQs

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 30 May 2011 04:11:41 +0000

It's the unofficial start of summer, and we all know what that means: Backyard BBQ season has begun! Join Tim and Tom as they discuss the proper way to host a BBQ and talk about learning new magic tricks, the intricacies of reality shows nobody watched, burning your face with a fire wallet and regulating BBQ sauce output. Also, listen until the end to find out about Tom's June 15th meetup in Toronto and a $1000 juggling-related wager.

The Rapture

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 23 May 2011 03:48:39 +0000

A return to camping, the importance of Tom's watch, The Rapture, ponies on a train, scratch off lottery tickets, Tom's pro boon inventions for Starbucks and Burger King, another crack at the TCGTE theme song, and Tim and Tom solve a follow up inquiry about a newly vegan roommate and help out a college student who believes his professor wants to give him some after class instruction.

International Travel

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Tue, 17 May 2011 03:42:01 +0000

Fresh off a trip to London to do a couple of live shows, we recount some of the finer points of international travel. Topics include ordering middle of the night meatball sandwiches, the importance of protecting your valuables, solving historical crimes near your hotel and not bringing a parachute onto a commercial airliner. Also, Tom has infuriating opinions regarding the proper way for customs agents to welcome citizens back to their home country.

Bigfoot

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 09 May 2011 02:18:00 +0000

This week Tim's tired and Tom's defensive about Back to the Future 3. We also discuss the various forms of bear entertainment, cryptozoology, 70s cartoons, extreme living, breeding big feet, raising monkids, The Real World San Francisco, Little Big Foot and of course Goofus and Gallant.

The Royal Wedding

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 01 May 2011 17:12:32 +0000

This week, we discuss the topic everyone is sick of, The Royal Wedding. Did you hear about this? Did you read about this in the news? We also talk about eating Cadbury Creme Eggs while drunk and legitimate news reports about Superman and we solve listeners' problems about romance and vegan roommates.

Breaking Up

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Tue, 26 Apr 2011 03:14:17 +0000

Breaking up is hard sometimes, but we do our best to let you down easy this week with our discussions of harebrains, literal baby cakes, real monsters, how good of swimmers we are and easy ways to break up with someone else. We also tear down New York Times Paywall by proving we never needed them in the first place.

Dating: The Art of Seduction

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 17 Apr 2011 20:31:27 +0000

In the third part of our acclaimed "Dating" series, we take a look at the "seduction community" and strange process in which some people try to woo members of the opposite sex. We also talk about chivalry in modern times, and cover "the bases" for those not in the know.

Loch Ness Monster

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 10 Apr 2011 23:49:47 +0000

We begin our "The Complete Guide to Everything: Myths and Legends" series off with a bang, gunning for public enemy number 1: The Loch Ness Monster. Also, Tom submits his evolutionary thesis concerning unattractive people and fetishists.

Candy

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 04 Apr 2011 01:37:28 +0000

Hey! You like candy? Of course you do! This week we discuss different types of candy, teen clothing stores, a legitimately sad news story, Rebecca Black and the reason why women find George Clooney so damn attractive. Also Tim & Tom solve a reader's utterly ridiculous problem.

Kitchen Nightmares

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 27 Mar 2011 19:26:38 +0000

A quick update on the trials and tribulations of Tom getting coffee, Tim discusses wasting his life away all because of Gordon Ramsay, a psychological exploration into the minds of patrons to restaraunts featured on Kitchen Nightmares. Also we talk about Freegans in our New York Times segment and we solve some problems with Facebook snooping.

HaircutCast Part 2

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 20 Mar 2011 23:07:28 +0000

In this episode we discuss the upcoming TCGTE live show in London and all the wonderful, amazing things that will happen there. Then we get down to business and talk about the hot topic everyone is dying to hear about: getting a haircut. We also give advice to businesses large and small about setting up elaborate Candid Camera-style job interviews and Tom tries to sell unsuspecting listeners gold coins.

iPad 2

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 13 Mar 2011 21:00:00 +0000

Personal space while trying to get coffee, waiting in line drunk for an iPad 2, learning about sex first hand at Northwestern University, not learning about sex at all at Brigham Young University and we solve a problem involving a horse.

Daytime TV

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 05:07:00 +0000

Inspired by Tim's weeklong bout with the flu in which he did little more than watch daytime television non-stop in a feverish haze, Tom and Tim discuss the sorry state of TV programming that most normal people do not watch. We also cover Tom's recent airplane mishaps (AIRPLANE HUMOR!!!), as he was recently traveling the world like the fancy jetsetter he is.

90s Rock

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 27 Feb 2011 20:43:38 +0000

Hey guys, remember the 90s? We sure do, and in this episode we talk about 90s rock music. We discuss an encounter with Lisa Loeb that proves she is the nicest person in history, rock stars that we wish we had as aunts, the bizarre popularity of the band Live and a whole bunch of other stuff you probably were happy to not think about for the past 11 years. We also talk about feral cats, how fake smiles make you die on the inside and getting caught up in dry cleaning bags.

Gambling

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 21 Feb 2011 00:39:46 +0000

Who likes gambling? In this episode we give you all the tips on how to win it big at the casino. But that's not all. We'll also give you tips on not falling for Tim's shoes before pants Inception, explain how cans work, and give you some real advice on adult problems.

News Roundup - February 2011

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 13 Feb 2011 21:57:30 +0000

This week we catch you up on what's been in the news lately. And, boy oh boy, has there been a lot in the news. We discuss the gone-too-soon Jack LaLanne, social networking revolutions, muscle-bound hipsters, apprehension regarding the new Muppet movie and a lot more.

Valentine's Day

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 06 Feb 2011 21:14:20 +0000

A very special all Tim & Tom Solve Your Romance Problems episode this week, just in time for Valentine's Day. Don't give up on your love life until you've tried Tim & Tom's advice for love. With solutions ranging from lying about patents you hold to soliciting the services of your local hobo you're sure to find the answer to any and all matters of the heart.

The Superbowl

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 00:04:04 +0000

In this episode we tell you everything you need to know about the big football game. Also, we improve on some well-known catchphrases, talk about the various other "bowl" games, discuss Taco Bell meat, Maxim magazine and other stuff dudes talk about.

Game Shows (Present Day)

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 23 Jan 2011 23:26:00 +0000

This week Tim eats too much candy, we talk about getting dogs drunk and making them work in stores, Starbucks new size is addressed as well as topless men at Hollister. Then we move onto modern game shows, namely Who Wants to be a Millionaire?, creepy Jeopary robots, raising the stakes in game show video games where you don't actually win anything, Tim teases his Meredith Vieira story, some Internet jerk steals our idea and gets $1 million dollars so we start selling shirts. Also we solve someone's problem concerning Matthew McConaughey moving too fast.

News Roundup - January 2011

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 01:40:00 +0000

Stop reading newspapers and watching television, we have all the news you need to know right here. This week we cover the changing of the astrological signs, the Verizon iPhone and a whole lot about Macauley Culkin. What else could you possibly need to know?

Disney

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 23:48:00 +0000

In this family friendly, squeaky clean episode we talk all things Disney. Well all things Disney that aren't the theme parks since we did that already. Topics discussed include all the birds dying lately, freezing yourself, the new Ted Williams and talented hobos, bizarre will requests, hot princesses, cartoons priming the next generation of sexually casual teenagers and we answer some problems about finding porn and fooling around with your co-worker's daughter.

2010 In Review and 2011 Predictions

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 02 Jan 2011 22:17:00 +0000

In this episode we discuss the biggest stories in the world in 2010 and make predictions for 2011. We discuss putting cats in garbage bins, the Emmy death montage, circus triathalons and the blessed union of two people we don’t like. Also, who will be the biggest name in 2011: Kevin James or Ashton Kutcher?

Video Games

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 26 Dec 2010 23:37:00 +0000

Discussion of the Mythical Lost Episode Using Drinking in Middle School as an Excuse Personal Christmas Gifts Christmas Car Commercials, Football and Hobos Starbucks and Homeless Old Women Tom Likes Video Games and Julia Roberts First Video Game Experiences with The 3 Stooges and Dragon’s Lair Waiting for the Wii The Wizard and Jenny Lewis The Cheater A Furious Argument About SNES vs. Genesis Street Fighter 2 vs Mortal Kombat Smoke Shop Talk Mario Kart and Smashing TVs NEW SEGMENT: Particular Type of Asshole That You Did Not Know Existed Until The New York Times Pointed It Out To You Of The Week : Personal Bartenders Tim and Tom Solve Your Internet Pornography Problems

Coffee

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 20 Dec 2010 00:08:00 +0000

Pour yourself a hot cup of joe and listen to this episode in which we discuss all types of coffee and the culture surrounding it, but mostly just complain about one specific employee at one coffee shop. Also, we talk about Paul McCartney not being able to afford a horn section, breaking celebrity news, a dissection of Hardy Boys novels and take suggestions from the Facebook wall.

Holiday Movies

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 12 Dec 2010 23:54:00 +0000

Dog Music, Spencer's Gifts 2010, Tom's War on Christmas, The Home Alone Quadrilogy, A Christmas Story, Michael Keaton's Jack Frost, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie's Island Adventure, The Adventures of Randy Quaid and the Hollywood Star Whackers, Tim and Tom's Christmas Gift

Airport Security

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 28 Nov 2010 16:59:00 +0000

Janitors Milk The New Theme Song "Enhanced" Consulting for the TSA Tim and Tom Solve Your Problems: Are We Your Friends? Types of Philes Two Timing A Juggalo's Response Illustrations by Natalie Al-Tahhan. Check out her work at Flailing With Ink.

Harry Potter

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 21 Nov 2010 17:23:17 +0000

We discuss the global phenomenon that is Harry Potter, so naturally the conversation turns to Richie Rich and Archie comics. Also, the debut of a potential new theme song!

Dating (Part 2)

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 14 Nov 2010 23:32:50 +0000

A topic so extensive that it could not be contained to a single episode! This week Tim and Tom go over the rules of DarwinDating.com in "Does it Pass the Mustard?", speculate on the rules of speed dating, offend Matthew Broderick in a number of ways, and give some terrible dating advice.

Dating (Part 1)

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 07 Nov 2010 21:22:15 +0000

Looking for love? You've come to the right place! This week we discuss dating and love and whatnot. From 80s video dating to niche online dating services for weird people, we cover it all and give you all the information you need to get to third base on your next romantic excursion. We also discuss [...]

Video Stores

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 31 Oct 2010 22:31:13 +0000

Learning England is not still in the 1980s 1980s Social Networking Burritos TV's Unsolved Mysteries Three Men and a Baby Ghost The Back Room of the Video Store Overt Perverts Time Travelers Ruining Tom's Credit Steve Guttenberg Gets Called Out A Pervert's Greatest Fear Realized Buying Smugness You're Awful Updates TCGTE Rebooted You're Awful: The [...]

Breakfast

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 24 Oct 2010 16:32:25 +0000

In this episode we discuss the most depressing television shows in history, Tom's potential untimely demise in London, a cereal box that angered Tim and answer some listener mail. Also, some stuff about breakfast. Illustrations by Natalie Al-Tahhan. Check out her work at Flailing With Ink.

Public Services (Or An Excuse to Talk About Poop)

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 17 Oct 2010 19:26:29 +0000

TCGTE London Tim considers coming to England Tim intimidates for money How to Write Compelling Show Titles Paying Your Taxes is for Grown Ups Aristocratic Old Money Women at FAO Schwarz "You're Awful" Corn How the government works Hipsters' Ideas About Poop Green Stuff (Not Poop) Tim & Tom Solve Your Problems: Fantasy Football Collusion [...]

Department of Motor Vehicles

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 06:03:16 +0000

Hate waiting in line at the DMV? We come up with solutions to the Department of Motor Vehicle's woes in this episode. Also, we talk about lucid dreaming, college football games and the fact that the two hosts of this program hate each other. Also, learn how to calculate your Jerk Quotient.

The Internet

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 03 Oct 2010 22:35:48 +0000

Call to action for billionaires Million dollar bills Tim weighs his options Tom's coming to London The Business of Bloopers YouTube Killed The America's Funniest Home Videos Star Our Pal "Randy" Becomes an Unexpected Famous Internet Asshole The Social Fight Club Tim and Tom Solve Your Problems: Canadian Jerks at Work Santa Claus Cons A [...]

Celebrity

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 26 Sep 2010 19:54:23 +0000

In this episode, two non-celebrities talk at length about the nature of celebrity. In a Freaky Friday-esque twist, minds are blown as Tom and Tim seemingly completely change personalities when arguing about Justin Bieber or Joaquin Phoenix or something. Also, what the hell was the deal with The Love Boat? Illustrations by Natalie Al-Tahhan. Check out [...]

Shopping

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 19 Sep 2010 20:27:55 +0000

Tim comes down with an acute case of Mall Madness. Also we discuss pizzerias, Tom's love of novelty foods, various Nickelodeon game shows, Julia Roberts, the upcoming London meet-up and more!

IKEA

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 12 Sep 2010 22:54:29 +0000

In this week's episode we talk about everybody's favorite Swedish assemble-it-yourself furniture retailer, IKEA. We also discuss parents that refuse to be boring grown-ups, ErnestFest, a TCGTE dance-a-thon and mailing people envelopes full of hair. We also provide and informal "State of the Guide" to explain our recent behavior.

Sleuthing

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 14:02:51 +0000

In this special edition episode of The Complete Guide to Everything, Tim and Tom try to crack the case of the Backpack Bandit. Showing their ability to multitask and solve multiple cases at once, they then take on the case of the U-Haul Truck Trickster. Also Tim debuts his new podcast. This episode was recorded [...]

Facial Hair

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 17:01:57 +0000

In this week's episode we cover the often-requested topic of facial hair. Listen and learn as we discuss everything you need to know about maintaining a beard /mustache or keeping your face silky smooth. We also discuss: - dwarves dressing up like Yosemite Sam - the seedy underbelly of celebrity look-alike businesses - spending hundreds [...]

Juggalo Culture

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 17:34:39 +0000

We discuss the harrowing events of The Gathering of the Juggalos 2010, also: Twenty-Somethings are the new Teenagers Tim Goes Back to High School Living in Tree Houses Disney World Perverts Update Friends with Benefits (Pools and Kids) Boatlife Waterbeds and Bed Bugs Illustrations by Natalie Al-Tahhan. Check out her blog.

Healthy Eating

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 17:12:55 +0000

Feeling fat? Are your hands constantly greasy from all the fried foods you're always eating? Let Tim and Tom guide you through the healthiest diets out there today. Also covered: swinger cruises, making friends as an adult and the fact that your life has probably been a child's fever dream.

DisneyWorld

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 08 Aug 2010 22:29:53 +0000

In this episode we discuss traveling to the Walt Disney World Resort in Orlando, Florida, the perfect place for family fun!!! We also discuss: - Clean versions of ODB albums - Surviving water parks - Horses on planes - Flirting with Snow White

Air Travel

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 01 Aug 2010 15:00:30 +0000

Dunces Tim's Tips to Beat the Heat 80 Stand-Up Comedy Dealing with Celebrities on Planes Surviving a Plane Crash Basing Your Life on Sex and the City Angela Lansbury: Babe of the Week The Mile High Club or Having Sex in a Tiny Public Bathroom Tim and Tom Solve Your Loud College Kids Problems Illustrations [...]

The UK with Dave Hill

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 19:46:22 +0000

This week we welcome comedian, writer, musician and United Kingdom expert Dave Hill to the show. He teaches us about sports, ladies, using The Secret to get what you want, and other things too numerous to get into. He also joins us to solve listener questions in a very special installment of Tim and Tom [...]

UFOs and Aliens

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 16:54:08 +0000

Concered about the possibility of an alien attack? Educate yourself about all things alien by listening to this week’s episode. Also: Tom becomes a brewmaster, we have a frank discussion about ALF, we tell tales of brewery tours, question the mental toughness of drunken hillbillies and discuss the History Channel’s ridiculous programming.

Being a Man

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 16:37:57 +0000

LeBron James Passes on Our Offer NBA Talk Running in 102 Degree Heat Sexy Librarians Don't Drink Drano Making Your Own Alcohol/Poison Cooking Tips Talkative Teenagers at Auto Parts Stores New Segment! One Time Time Travel

An Unfortunate Encounter and More Michael Jackson

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 12:44:51 +0000

At the end of last week’s episode, we were left with a heart-pounding cliffhanger as Tim walked out and claimed to leave the show for good. On this week’s episode we find out if Tom is destined to do The Complete Guide to Everything in solitude every week. Also, there is talk about Michael Jackson [...]

Summer

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 17:04:38 +0000

Paninis and Smashed Potatoes Ice Cream for Breakfast The Ice Cream man: Pervert or Genius? Uncomfortable at the Beach Sunning in Your Underpants Nude Beaches Summer School for Woodshop C+C Music Factory Humiliation T&T Solve Your Problems: Kids on Planes and TCGTE Concierge Listening Service Farewell to Tim

World Cup

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 20 Jun 2010 13:43:37 +0000

In this episode we discuss all things World Cup related, including: - Elementary school sports - Bringing a baby to a bar - Hipsters trying to be worldly - Kim Jong Il - The American Civil War Comics courtesy of Natalie Al-Tahhan. Check out more of her work at her internet website.

Winning the Lottery

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 18:29:54 +0000

Have you ever wanted to win the lottery? Well, in this episode we tell you how to! Not really, but we do discuss excellent ways to spend your lottery winnings. Comics courtesy of Natalie Al-Tahhan. Check out more of her work at her internet website.

News Roundup

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 16:13:57 +0000

This week we discuss some big stories in the news, and Tom talks about a strangely depressing dream he had. - Samurai Sword Porn Star - Guatemalan sinkholes! - What is the Silver Surfer's deal? - There is apparently some sort of oil leak - Shaving the heads of corpses - Questions about donating a [...]

Marketing to Kids and Ripping Out Hearts

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 30 May 2010 18:11:47 +0000

John Stamos cancels again Memorial Day Kids are rude Product Brainstorming for ripping off kids (Silly Bandz) Giving directions when you don't know directions Ripping your friend's heart out while on shrooms (Link) T&T Take Your Call: What happened to ladies night? What does Tim do with his beard? What is good cheap beer? T&T [...]

Camping

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 23 May 2010 13:12:52 +0000

In this episode we recount a recent camping trip and share what we've learned. We also discuss: - An excellent trick idea for street magicians - Selling mugs for surly office workers - Walmart sells machetes for $6.88!! - A very long conversation about one specific Wiffle Ball game - Getting harassed by a teenager [...]

The Hobo Code

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 16 May 2010 19:22:06 +0000

TCGTE tells all about hobo secrets and more. Information that may one day very well save your life. Including: Tim is energized! Acting is tiring Conspiracy theories about the phone company Tom is drunk with Starbucks power The Hobo Code The Hobo Ethical Code Naked People at the Museum Baby Boomer of the Week We're [...]

Tom Hanks Is My Bartender

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 09 May 2010 21:39:07 +0000

On this episode, all roads lead us to Tom Hanks. Also: - Ringo Starr judging county fair contests - Times Square terrorism - Tom's favorite museum, Ripley's Believe it or Not - A big bug shuts down production for a few minutes - British people think we're dumb - Adults going back to high school

Facebook, Death and Fast Food

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 02 May 2010 13:54:49 +0000

Fast Food Update Don't Talk About Tom on Facebook After He's Dead Faking Our Own Deaths Starting Your Own Beverage Company Frankenfish Arizona is Giving Out Free Trips to Mexico Drinks for Teenage Dirtbags Camping Burger King Brunch Sex and the City BK Mimosas KFC Double Down Tim and Tom and A Bunch of Other [...]

Girl Problems

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 15:52:58 +0000

In this episode we offer advice to females who have written to us with their problems. You know, because they trust us. We also talk about: - Little kids vs. Coffee tables - Disturbing Masters of the Universe beach towels - Interacting with overenthusiastic Starbucks employees - Luis vs. Louise - Tag-team serial killers - [...]

The Complete Guide to Bars

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 18 Apr 2010 19:00:25 +0000

In this episode we discuss bars, pubs and the goings-on inside these establishments. Topics include: Getting a bartender's attention Adventures waiting on bathroom lines Illicit drug use in bar restrooms Tom's tips for girls interested in flirting at bars Tim's admiration a certain big box electronics retailer

The Complete Guide to Nothing in Particular

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 23:02:22 +0000

In this episode we talk and talk and talk. Topics include Tiger Woods, Crystal Pepsi, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and LeBron James teaming up to make Tim feel old, Tom's continued hatred of those less fortunate than him and the hit movie The Rocketeer.

Teen Idols (Biebermania Edition)

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 04 Apr 2010 17:12:56 +0000

The guys come down with a bad case of Biebermania, for which the only cure is more Beiber. Also... April Fools Day! The Legality of Taking a Cop's Gun as a Joke Parents of Teenagers Old Man Walmart Vigilantism NJ Woman Striving to Become World's Fattest Tim and Tom Solve Your Masterbating Roommate Problems Tom's [...]

Chat Roulette

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 22:55:34 +0000

In this week's episode, Tom and Tim explore the phenomenon that is Chat Roulette. Sponsor: Get a FREE audiobook and 14-day trial today by signing up at audiblepodcast.com/tcgte! Also discussed: - More about haircuts - 80s Saxaphone Hits - A listener tells a tale of charity gone wrong - Rude or Shrewd?

St. Patrick’s Day (HaircutCast Edition)

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 16:22:44 +0000

Tim and Tom discuss all things Irish, recount tales of screwing up interviews for minimum wage jobs and then talk about haircuts for seriously like 20 minutes. Tom insults all of Ireland Baby bars Repairing US - Irish Relations Drunk, Lazy Mailmen Strippers' Problems Mandatory Drug Testing Tom Works for Coca-Cola for a Day Tim's [...]

Tom’s Big Week, or “The Monday Morning Grindcast”

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 18:32:45 +0000

In this episode, Tom is reinvigorated by a particularly exciting week filled with unbelievable adventures. Sponsor: Get a FREE audiobook and 14-day trial today by signing up at audiblepodcast.com/tcgte ! Also discussed: - Adventures in unfamiliar Starbucks locations - "The Monday Morning Grindcast" - Hilarious Tiger Woods stand-up routines - Making Brad Pitt work for [...]

The Bachelor

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 01:26:50 +0000

In this episode Tom and Tim discuss the hit reality show 'The Bachelor', America's favorite sex-free 20 hour porn movie. Also discussed... Olympic Fever Finally Subsides Tom's Strong Opinions on The Bachelor Pooping Your Way Into Show Business Tim and Tom Stop Solving One Person's Problems Podcast Philanthropy A Special Musical Performance from Jimmy Bluffert [...]

Cruises

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 14:20:08 +0000

In this episode we talk about cruises, and Tom shares anecdotes from his recent vacation on board a luxury cruise. Also: - the arduous process of recording a weekly podcast - the perils of fame - jumping overboard is not a good idea - treating limo drivers with respect by never shooting them - TCGTE's [...]

Mass Transit

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:33:50 +0000

In this episode we cover the mass transit system. Topics include: * TCGTE on location * Bus smarts * Bus Studies/Bust Studies * Buses driven by children * Throwing up on hambones * Wearing velcro shoes and maternity jeans * TV's Clark Kent invented the Segway * Amateur Rocketeers * Hiding hobo clothes throughout the [...]

Winter Olympics (Super Late Updated Version)

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 20:18:14 +0000

*Please excuse the lateness of this episode. Tim's not so smart when it comes to the internet. Next episode will be up at the regular time. In this very special 2010 Winter Olympic preview episode, Tom tries to keep Tim's Olympic Fever in check while they discuss: * the inspirational book The Secret's effect on [...]

The Grammy Awards

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 23:41:29 +0000

In this one we mostly just complain like old men about the state of pop music today. Lady Gaga Taylor Swift Pink Black Eyed Peas Michael Jackson With a special appearance by Jedward. We also answer advice and give updates about how great our advice has turned out so far. There may also be an [...]

Lost

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 15:09:05 +0000

Tim's Confused Translating Lost to Other Languages The X-Files and Terminators Tim's Too Poor for a DVR Heroes We Speculate the Big Final Reveal Why They Keep Kate Around How We'll Boost the Ratings Stub Seasons Adam Has Dinner with Dr. Jack Shepard A Tease to Tom's Reoccurring Role on "One Tree Hill" Comic Book Conventions [...]

Diets

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 15:51:04 +0000

Our obese listeners Long haired hippie girls riding horses Gross diet pills Bikinis with diapers built in Clammy pervert hands Dee Snider at Starbucks Terrible impulses Illicit bathroom activities The Gauntlet Special celebrity ghost

Fast Food

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 16:58:28 +0000

Tim wins TCGTE's #1 fan contest Method podcasting White Castle destroys us Tim eats too much candy The Stepford A&W Employees KFC's Secrets Recipe (Hint: It's racism) Where's the Beef Lady Strikes Out on Her Own Free Marketing Idea: Haunted Wendy's Taco Bell Literally Almost Kills Tom Tim's Future Career as a Celebrity Reporter T&T [...]

Being Sick

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 16:08:59 +0000

This week: Tom is sick and complains about it Neti pots English as a second language Americans using slang from other countries New Year's Eve drum solo TCGTE sitar and didgeridoo episodes Buying pseudoephedrine Time travel art fraud Naked lady art class The "Empty Suitcase" method of ending a relationship A filthy letter from a [...]

2010 (or, Twenty-Ben: The Year of the Milkernet)

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 18:08:33 +0000

In this episode, stuff happens: Tom talks like Oprah Charles Shultz was a jerk Going out Thelma and Louise style Big plans for TCGTE!! Back to the Future 2 Becoming Reality Awful 80s Nostalgia Creepy Japanese Robots Society's unfair treatment of Ben Affleck Nostradamus was a jerk Remakes of movies starring dogs More adventurous pornography [...]

Year in Review: 2009

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 00:46:47 +0000

In this episode: 2009: A Landmark Year for Podcasting Auditing our finances The Beginning of TCGTE as Michael Jackson's Legacy Sitcom Porn Porn Rage Against the Machine #1 in the UK 9 Year Olds Don't Know Anything Teenagers Love Celebrities Books Rated by Time Spent in Bathroom Celebrity Deaths (DJ AM, David Carradine, Farrah Fawcett, [...]

Christmas (or, “How Cute Are These Boots?”)

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 13:17:49 +0000

On this week's yuletide-themed episode, we decide we know too little about Hanukkah to say anything about it so we discuss boring advent calendars, hypnotic Gap commercials, adults getting gifts from their parents, kids being jerks on Christmas morning, little kids lying about seeing Santa Claus, drinking too much at family Christmas parties, talking to [...]

90′s Sitcoms: TGIF Edition

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 17:19:58 +0000

On this episode we celebrate ABC's 90s Friday night sitcom lineup known as TGIF. We cover Full House, a very special episode of Diff'rent Strokes, why the movie Big is unrealistic, Tom Hanks vs. Amazon.com, TGIF poison Stacy Keenan, the snappy writing on Boy Meets World, hilarious catchphrases and Tom's adventures as a junior television [...]

Hodge Podge

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 16:25:34 +0000

In this super-sized episode of TCGTE we discuss: Tom's college thesis on Mr. Rogers Why Tim and Tom should not have graduated from college Making reservations at public restrooms Dance-fighting with meth addicts Awful Starbucks employees Dance-fighting with a lying homeless man Tim and Tom solve your problems and offer revenge solutions Tiger Woods vs. [...]

Life on the Road

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 22:05:33 +0000

Buggles, Greatest Hits, Whiskey, Buying Alcohol for Kids, Farms, Chattanooga Hipsterbones, Tim Meets a Pimp and the World's Greatest Liar, Crushing Dreams, Racists Who Mow the Lawn in Lady's Underwear, 900 Numbers that Make You Cry, Caught Listening to Your Own Podcast, Lenny Kravitz at 7-11, Thanksgiving Eve, The World's Longest Gauntlet and the United [...]

The Best of Everything

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 12:56:44 +0000

GREATEST HITS EPISODE! Featuring: Baby Boomers (The Beatles) CD Drive Prank (Freshman Year) Midget Sighting (NYC) Teenagers (Weird Al) Book of World Records for Kids (Fall TV) Nasty Latinas (North Korea) Upper Decker (Bathroom Etiquette) Werewolf Diarrhea (Halloween) Hitting Cavemen with a DeLorean(Time Travel) Hipster Potbellys (NYC) Scumbags of the Week (Baseball) Tim's 9/11 Job [...]

Arnold Schwarzenegger

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 17:08:36 +0000

Meinhardt Schwarzenegger, Last Action Hero, Batman and Robin, Mr. Crisp, Twins, Old Robots, The Most Amazing Movie Ever Made, Aliens vs. Predators, Tom proposes a new electronic device for just watching Arnold movies and Tom reviews Planet Hollywood. The Gauntlet: Comic Book Superheroes, Social Networking, Parties, Annoying Kids, Random People You Meet on Nights Out, [...]

College: Sophomore Year

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 19:19:12 +0000

Fraternities, Tom's terrible RA work, blaming everything on 9/11, Tim's work as a maid, and scamming free pizza from the FBI. Also: when its acceptable to smash someone else's television and how to get beat up by one of the Foo Fighters.

Baseball

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 20:49:32 +0000

Baseball been berry, berry good to us.

Halloween

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 20:22:26 +0000

In this terrifying installment of TCGTE, we talk about ghosts and ghouls and skeletons and werewolves. We also discuss king size candy bars and try to figure out just what the hell nougat is. But that's not all! Listen to the end when we reveal what we're dressing up for this Halloween and talk about [...]

Hip Hop

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 17:18:02 +0000

The frequently asked for Complete Guide to Hip Hop with special guest Algernon! In this episode we also discuss: Balloon Boy, When is it ok to call a woman a girl?, Jay-Z, Brian Wilson's rap career, Wu-Tang, Shitty Teenage Jobs, Thanksgiving (USA!), Fake Free Masons, AJ's Haunted House, and much, much more! Follow Algernon on [...]

Bathroom Etiquette

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 15:37:39 +0000

We answer your burning questions about today's most important issues: peeing and pooping. UPDATE: keithmurphy in our new forums does some legwork and digs up the absolutely terrifying 20/20 segment about exorcisms from the early 90′s that we mention towards the end of the episode. WATCH AT YOUR OWN RISK! LISTEN TO EPISODE:

Colon Health and Final Destination

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 19:53:00 +0000

Some frank discussion about putting tubes up your butt, dentists with TVs, the introduction of "The Gauntlet" and of course Final Destination 3D.

Drunk Presidents and Nicolas Cage

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 18:36:22 +0000

Boris Yelsten drunk in his underwear at the White House, George W. scaring prisoners straight, Johnny Cash and Mr. Ed, Tom meets Nicholas Cage and listener suggestions!

Twilight

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 16:00:39 +0000

The first in a series of "Stuff We Hate But Know Absolutely Nothing About". TCGTE takes a bullet for you and watches Twilight in its entirety so we can then deliver you everything you need to know about it at your next cocktail party/water cooler showdown.

Fall TV

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 14:43:29 +0000

TCGTE's 42nd annual Fall TV preview show! We discuss all your soon-to-be favorite new shows! Shows that are blatant movie rip-offs, shows that are about detectives, shows about MILFs, they're all here!

The Beatles

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 20:56:12 +0000

The Beatles: Rock Band! Baby boomers ruined the world and then some more about the Beatles. Support TCGTE through your Amazon purchase!

Superheroes or: Why Isn’t There a Real Batman?

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 00:03:37 +0000

Real life superheroes, Michael Jackson lives and where the hell are my stickers? Real life superheroes, Michael Jackson lives and where the hell are my stickers?

New York City and Yuppies vs. Ice Cream

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 00:38:00 +0000

A listener suggests Tim and Tom talk about their hometown, and they talk about things that annoy them for 45 minutes. Also, ice cream and mini-hamburgers.

College – Freshman Year and Wearing T-Shirts As Underwear

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 00:09:03 +0000

Tom and Tim discuss the college freshman year experience, how not to masturbate discreetly and more. Plus, Tim fails at sorcery.

North Korea and Winning Porn Bingo

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 23:00:42 +0000

also Mad Men Abridged, Avoiding Tipping.

Letters to Famous Prisoners

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 13:32:33 +0000

New Travel Agencies, Letters to Criminals. "I'll Be Missing You", Adopting a Teenager, My Super Sweet Sixteen.

Listener Suggestions

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 19:01:35 +0000

The thrilling conclusion to last week’s Timhanger. Also, we cover listeners’ topic suggestions and Tom gets annoyed with the topics of dolphin genitalia and elves.

Weird Al

thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com (Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds) — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 11:41:07 +0000

In this episode Tom and Tim talk a lot about Weird Al Yankovic and then it takes Tim 4 days to figure out how to upload the file to the internet.