Two nights ago I tucked Mayhem in and gave her a smooch and a squeeze.  I told her I loved her and as I was leaving her room she spoke up …

“Mom,” she said.

“What, sweetie?” I asked (turning around and preparing for her to tell me she loved me too).

“Mom, I’m a big fan of myself.” was her reply.

My immediate reaction was to think “What the WHAT did she just say?!?!”

Which was quickly followed by the thought “How did she get to be so arrogant?”

And then a moment of clarity.

Why in the world shouldn’t we be big fans of ourselves?  Why would I consider confidence and awesome self esteem to be conceit or arrogance?

I paused for a minute and then replied, “That’s why you’re my hero.”

I left her room and immediately grabbed a pen and paper and jotted her quote down.  And I’ve spent the better portion of the last 48 hours waffling on the confidence vs. arrogance subject.  Why some people have so much and some have so little.  How to make sure that her amazing strength and self worth is always maintained and tempered with humility.

This kid of mine makes me think.  Hard.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again … as far as parenting is concerned, my belief is if you’re not learning just as much from your kids as you’re teaching them, then you might be doing it wrong.

As for me, I’m working on becoming a big fan of myself.  Luckily, I have a pint sized live-in coach

So what’s your take on the issue? Are you a big fan of yourself or does the thought of saying those words out loud make you shudder?  (If it does make you shudder, did you go to Catholic school like I did???)

This post could also be titled Desperate Much?

Or, Parents, Keep Your Kid On A Leash!

Or, Mindy May Be Overreacting.  Again.  You Be The Judge.

Just about 11 months ago, this was my Biscuit:

Glammin’ it up, promin’ it up.  She was a sophomore, invited by a friend and had a blast!  She looked like a movie star – the Pieces’ mom called her “Hollywood” for a bit – and I cried when she looked like this.

This year she’s a junior and this is HER prom.  HER way.  HER dress.  HER date is a sophomore so she’s bossing him around.  A little.  They are great, great friends and have been for years.  This year instead of movie star she plans to party like a rock star.  Without the illegality of it all.  She’s totally psyched.  We’ve got the dress, the shoes, jewelry, makeup and the ‘do is picked out.  All that’s left is to wait for the day.

She.  Is.  Pumped.

Or was.

Her date/friend told her on their way to pick out his tux last weekend that he and a girl from her class are “talking”.  I think that means “texting” ’cause I was unaware that kids talked these days.  I also think it means they kinda like each other.  She asked him to prom.  He politely said no, that Biscuit had already asked him.  No biggie.  Biscuit, being ever the diplomat that she is, told him it’s cool if he dances with her and hangs out with her some.  Hey, they’re not married.  Heck, they’re not even dating!  They’re just two friends partying it up prom-style.

Yesterday she gets a text from the girl.  Here’s the gist:  Did you know he and I are “talking”?  Well I heard there’s someone you’re “talking” to (there’s not).   Well, I don’t have a date so I think you should ask the person you’re “talking” to so I can take your date because I really like him.  I understand if you don’t want to.  But please consider it.

Prom is April 20.  This text was received April 2.  Less than 3 weeks away!

And, seriously, if there was someone else Biscuit was “talking” to wouldn’t she have asked him?  She and her date discussed this prom date thing last year at this time.  If neither of them had a BF/GF she’d take him.  Just as friends.  So they could party like rock stars.  No pressure, just friends having the time of their lives.

To be fair (as if I feel like I need to be?) the girl did text her later and say nevermind, that she’d heard he already ordered his tux.  As if that was the deciding factor.  Biscuit’s feelings were hurt and it threw kind of a dark cloud over a day/night she’s been looking forward to for months.  Totally uncool.

What do you think?  Am I wrong thinking this was waaaaaaay out of line?

P.S. – Prepare yourselves.  Pics to come.  In just a little under three weeks…

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Instagram is my social media drug of choice.  I’m a visual person and it just suits me.  Telling better stories with fewer words has become a skill I’m honing and enjoy.  If you’re so inclined, you can follow me here.

I’ve been asked a few times if there is a particular workflow that I follow before posting images to Instagram, and while there isn’t a single “recipe” that I follow every time, there is a basic recipe.

I remember taking in some wise advice more than a year ago about keeping a consistent “look” with my images.  I try to keep that in mind when I post photographs and I also often delete images that I feel like may not fit with the overall feel when someone visits my feed.

Here’s a look at my most recent images:

 I limit the number of filters and effects that I use and I try to work from a basic “recipe” that I like for my images.  I’ll give you the quick step by step of my most recent image.

Here’s the finished product:

And here is the original image:

First things first, I ALWAYS use an app for actually taking the photographs and not the native “camera” that is part of the phone.  I use an app called Camera + (although there are several out there now) because it allows me to choose the area where I want to focus and then separately decide which area of the image to set the exposure from.  This one little tidbit will easily make your mobile images a thousand times better.

Then I went into the “editing” portion of the Camera + app and applied the night filter under the scenes menu.  The night filter is pretty drastic and doesn’t work for all of my images but it was just right for this one.  I almost exclusively use the backlit filter or night filter but very occasionally use the shade filter as well.  This is the resulting image:

A huge difference and I loved the image already.  BUT … I was so bugged by the horizon line being off.  Look at the where the floor and wall meet …. that should totally be straight, but it’s quite obviously not.  Off to Snapseed  we go.  Snapseed is like a mini version of Photoshop for your phone.  It has tons of controls, but anymore, I pretty much just use it for straightening my images if need be.  I simply opened the image in Snapseed (on my phone), selected the straighten option, and tweaked it just enough to get my line straight.  Then my image looked like this:

From there, I opened the image in Instagram.  I immediately went to my go to filter (which happens to be Hudson) but I didn’t like it at all.  So I tried out my back up choice (Amaro) but didn’t like that either.  So I clicked off the filters all together and LOVED what I saw.  Which is what I posted:

And that’s it.  It took me longer to type the caption for the image than it did to edit the image.  Truth.

Again, this is just a basic recipe that I follow and tweak based on the image I’m working with, but I try to first capture great images and then simply tweak them to a consistent style that suits me.

How about you, are you an Instagrammer?  And if so, do you have a recipe you follow?

PS-I don’t watermark my IG images, but if you’re interested in finding out how you can, you can find that info here.

How stinkin’ cute are these little bunnies?

I stumbled across this post last week and just knew they’d be a perfect Easter gift for all the small people in my life.

But this week I was reminded of just how much I have to be grateful for.  And I wanted Mayhem to know too.

On Monday, my husband got a call with a request to photograph some kids with the Easter Bunny.  And he couldn’t say no.  So that’s exactly what he’s doing today.  Photographing kids with the Easter Bunny.  At a homeless shelter where the kids are living.

I decided this might be the perfect time to get Mayhem thinking more about others and less about herself.  So we started with a quick trip to the dollar store for some supplies.  And then we got to work.

You can find detailed instructions at the post I linked above, but these little guys are super duper easy to make.  Each bunny starts off with one washcloth and two clear plastic hair rubber bands.

And they pretty much multiply, well, like rabbits.  Quickly

We used glue to attach poms for noses and tails as well as googly eyes.  And twisted pipe cleaners around the bunnies for bows.

We did all different color combinations.  No two bunnies are alike.

And as much as someone loves these little guys, she’s really excited about giving them away.

And that makes this mama happy.

I’m sure counting my blessings today, how about you?

This is the lone lemon scone.

The only one left.

The one Mayhem has attempted to smuggle out of the kitchen every time I look away from her.

Ever since we replaced a favorite treat a few weeks ago, I’ve been having fun messing with the recipe and changing up the flavor.

We started with orange.  Then we did pineapple (super delish, BTW).  And this week, we have lemon.

Because I’m ready for warm citrus-y weather.  And despite the fact that we’ve had 30 degree temperatures and snow for the past few days, I’m channeling palm trees and sun.  Which is why I bought lemons at the grocery store.

I’m still using this basic recipe but making a few substitutions. For these lemon scones, I subbed the zest of one lemon for the zest of two oranges to be mixed with the sugar in the first mixing step.  I also subbed two tablespoons of fresh lemon juice for the orange juice in the glaze.  AND …. I’m loving the substitution of lemon flavored greek yogurt in place of the sour cream.  I’ve been using greek yogurt in all my scone batches (with the exception of the very first batch) and I have to say that I’m liking them even more.  DANGER!

Aside from those simple substitutions, I’m following the recipe precisely and we are loving the results.  These lemon scones were a hit with not only Mayhem but a super terrific friend of ours who insisted upon having the recipe.

Now, who wants to make a wager on whether or not the above pictured scone has disappeared in the time it’s taken me to write this post?

And what flavor should I make next???

We (read I) have a new work/office/shooting space at home.  I’m pretty sure I’m WAY more excited than I should be.

But check out this dreamy light this morning!  It only gets better throughout the day.

I’m determined to keep this a toddler toy free zone.  (Wish me luck.)

Oh, and this is what it used to look like:

And this is my mantra for 2013.  Words I’m trying to live by every time the fear of doing something new creeps in.

Do it anyway!

I’m trying to take on at least one project each month that scares the crap out of me or makes me cringe with the fear of failure.  And I’m trying to embrace change daily.  Little things that may not be easy, but end up SO worth it.  Like a new office

So far so good.

How’s 2013 treating you?

PSA: If you love the orange scones from Panera as much as we do, please go check out this recipe at My Baking Addiciton as soon as humanly possible.

Last week’s allergy fiasco has resulted in Mayhem’s banishment from Panera (…her favorite restaurant).  So what’s a mom to do?  Consult professor Google of course.  And thankfully, Jamie’s blog came up first (three cheers for awesome SEO!) when I searched for an orange scone recipe I could make at home.

These taste nearly identical to the ones we loved as an occasional treat.  And Mayhem happily ate the icing right off the top as she normally did with the others

So run, don’t walk, over to My Baking Addiction for the recipe.  And if you feel the need to pin these scones, pin them from her site.

Happy Tuesday!  Over and out.

But it’s OK if you think so.

You may remember back when we found out that Mayhem had a peanut allergy. It was indeed a sad day for this life long peanut lover.

There was a lot of uncertainty though. Mayhem’s (peanut ONLY allergy) diagnosis came via a blood test (after a visible reaction) but skin testing is much more accurate and provides more insight.  Skin testing, however, isn’t done on kids until they are at least three years old, so we had to wait more than a year to have her tested again.

We have a pediatrician who didn’t want us to take any chances.  Even though her blood test came back with a positive reaction for peanuts only, he strongly advised us to avoid all tree nuts as well as sesame and a few cross contaminators.  He also mentioned that there was a chance that we got a false positive result. But until she could have a skin test, it was better safe than sorry.

So for the past 15 months we’ve been diligent about reading labels, avoiding those substances, and carrying an EpiPen.  It’s not a terribly difficult job, and the hardest part is that you feel like a pill when you’re constantly asking questions. Every time we’ve been invited to go out for a meal, I ask “where?” so that I can internet stalk the restaurant website/menu/nutrition and allergy info ahead of time.  Every time we’ve been to a party or event with a spread of food, my kid is on my hip or I’m hot on her heels.

And it’s not because I’m rude.  Or picky.  Or a helicopter mom.  It’s because I needed to make sure I knew what she was eating.  And I didn’t want that to be anyone else’s responsibility or worry.  I didn’t want anyone else to have to read labels or research menus online ahead of time.  I didn’t want to spend 15 minutes questioning a waiter, waitress or chef about what’s in what dish while everyone else is ready to order.   And I REALLY didn’t want to use this:

This week we were finally able to get her in with an allergist for skin testing.  And I was fully prepared to hear that I’ve been a helicopter mom.  Fully prepared to hear that her peanut allergy diagnosis was a false positive.  Or fully prepared to hear that she does indeed have a peanut allergy, but it’s not that bad.  I was ready to admit that I’d been hovering, questioning and denying my kid the “good stuff” for no good reason.  Being a pill.  And that I could stop.

I wasn’t, however, ready for the actual results we received.

The skin test results are given a rating on a scale of 1 to 4+ with the higher end being a very highly allergic reaction.  According to her allergist, she scored a 4+++ for peanuts.  She scored the same 4+++ for cashews and pistachios.  Oh, and by the way, she’s actually allergic to ALL tree nuts.  In addition, she’s allergic to sesame.  She’s about a 2 on that one right now, but the allergy will get worse if she’s exposed to it more.  And then the kicker … she’s a 4+++ for soy as well.  SOY!  That one hadn’t even been on my radar!

And before you start asking all kinds of questions, please know that I’m not an allergist and I’m still processing all of this myself.  My understanding is that you can be allergic to a substance without having any outward reactions, and that allergy can also get worse with continued exposure which can translate to a much more severe reaction later on down the road.  So basically, all those scoops of vanilla soy protein powder that I’ve been adding to her smoothies may just have been making an unknown allergy worse.

After the appointment, my husband and I talked and decided that this really wasn’t going to be a huge adjustment for us.  We’ve already been off the nut wagon for a solid year and we keep the sesame at bay as well.  We’d just have to keep doing what we’ve already been doing and eliminate soy from the mix.

This morning, one the first things I did was toss the soy protein powder into the trash.  Then I started checking labels on everything else in the pantry, fridge and freezer.

Ummmmm, you guys, soy is in EVERYTHING!  Oreos, Ritz crackers, Quaker oatmeal squares, and cereal just to name a few in our house.  So now I’m even more aware of our dependency on processed foods.  And that’s HAS to change.

BUT….

The bottom line is I’m still going to be that lady.  The one who asks where you want to eat ahead of time.  The one who doesn’t let her toddler run around the food tables at a party with the other kids.  The one who will politely turn down the goodies you offer.  The one who will very possibly bring her own snacks/meal for her kid to eat at your party.

And I’m not being rude.  Or picky.  Or hovering.

But I don’t mind if you think so.  Because I’ll do whatever it takes to keep my kid healthy and safe.  And not make it your problem.  I’m a mom, that’s my job.

A few weeks ago my TV remote passed away and we traded it in for a shiny new one.  Biscuit and I strolled into the Time Warner Cable store at the mall, handed the nice lady our dearly departed remote and she happily handed us a new, young go-getter.  Easy peasy.

As we were walking out Biscuit said, “That was easy.  We need the Staples Easy Button!”.

I laughed a little and inwardly smiled my evil genius smile.  That’s because I’d had this post brewing in my head all morning.  If only she knew.  Actually, it sometimes frightens her when I let her know what’s going on in my head so I try to do that rather infrequently.  But this one I just wanted to keep a surprise!

According to the smarty pants at Wikipedia, the staples Easy Button wasn’t introduced until 2005.  But I’d pushed that button long, long before, late in the evening – 6:52 p.m. to be exact – on February 23, 1996.  That was when a 20-year-old, single me gave birth to a whopper of a Biscuit (9 lbs., 13 oz. and 22-1/2 inches for you statisticians out there).  And it was easy.

At first I didn’t think it was easy.  Would you?  But do you know how I found out I was wrong?  Because of the myriad of people who have told me so after mention that I had a C-section.  ”Oh”, they say, “You took the easy way out”.  Well excuse the crap out of me, but I’m fairly certain that any way another human being – especially one bordering on 10 pounds – exits your body, it ‘ain’t easy.  Twenty two hours of labor, barely 1 cm dilated and then they cut me open to retrieve this giant living inside my womb.  That was freakin’ easy!  Especially the part about not being able to laugh, cough, roll over, fart, get dressed, shower, walk or do virtually anything else for the next two weeks without being in excruciating pain from the sutured, stapled, healing, sliced open abdominal muscles and skin.  That’s how I know it was easy.

But get this, there was another easy part.  One look at her and I was in love.  It was the most naturally easy feeling I’ve ever had.  And ever will.

Being a single parent isn’t easy.  Being parent to a headstrong, imaginative, sassy little spark plug of a child isn’t always easy.  It took courage and determination.  Never sleeping more than 5 hours at a stretch until the ripe old age of 11 months meant more 11 months of sleepless nights for me.  Working, paying the bills, cooking, cleaning, feeding, diapering, clothing and nurturing this wonder of a little girl – on my own – was nothing short of exhausting.  Enter my husband at Kindergarten age.  He’ll tell you the same thing.  But he was up for the challenge.  And a challenge it has been.  We’ve struggled and battled like all parents do.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s mostly ALL GOOD!  She’s smart, creative, has an incredible sense of humor.  And never causes trouble.  Well, not for anyone but her parents…

But overcoming all the exhaustion, struggles and challenges came as easy to me as loving her.  Which is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.

So, on the eve of her 17th birthday, and knowing we have millions of miles yet to go, but feeling like we’ve finally hit our stride, I want my little Biscuit to know that despite the attitudes and the fights and sometimes feeling like we’d never work it out, I don’t focus on the (normal, normal, normal!!!) struggles of a teenage girl and her mama.  I don’t think about all the times it was nearly impossible for us (normal, normal, normal!!!) to like each other.  I simply want her to know that I love her.

And loving her is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.  And it’s made all the rest a breeze.  Happy birthday, Biscuit.  You makin’ yo mama proud!

p.s. – Thanks for the pic Ang! It’s one of my very faves of all time!

We needed a break on Sunday.  Despite being exhausted from the craziness of week last week, family time and a change of scenery were at the top of our “to do” list.  We needed a place where we could let Mayhem stretch her legs a little.  But with a high temperature around 25 degrees, outside was not going to be an option.

So we took a little drive.  Under an hour from our home and a place I’ve only visited once before.  The National Museum of the United States Air Force.

It’s MASSIVE.  It’s dripping with incredible information and history.  It’s wildly inspiring.  Oh, and did I mention it’s FREE???

Hanger after hanger after hanger of real planes, helicopters and other aircraft and aviation equipment.  These are all “retired” aircraft that were actually flown to the museum to be part of the displays.

It’s literally a journey through the history of aviation.  And I love that it’s designed to walk you through in chronological sequence.

Not only are there planes on the ground, but there are planes and helicopters suspended above you everywhere you look!

Stuff that doesn’t even look real.  But it is.

This one reminds me too much of the Madagascar movies.  I was totally looking for the penguins…

There were even some “shells” of planes you could walk through.  To get an idea of how tight the space was …

This is a pilot’s seat …. can you even imagine?

Most of the space on this particular plane was dedicated to carrying bombs.  It was strange to walk between those.

I can’t even begin to show you the scale of this place …

And of course I had to grab a shot of some of the early on board camera equipment the Air Force used.

And when Mayhem started getting a little fussy, we just locked her in the crosshairs…

Have you ever seen a B-2 stealth bomber?  I have.  And it’s holy freaking incredible!

There’s even a missile and space gallery.

This part really got me anxious.  It was so strange to be up close to these missiles and to see just how massive they are.

To say that this museum is amazing is nothing short of an understatement.  But should you find yourself anywhere near the Dayton, OH area, you need to put this on your must visit list.

It’s located next to the Wright Patterson Air Force Base and you will never look at aviation or our Air Force the same way again.

We were there for a solid 2 hours and didn’t see everything.  We didn’t even stop to read many descriptions or displays around the aircraft.  You could easily spend an entire day here and still not see and do it all.  And it’s great for ALL ages!

We will be back for another visit.  And I’m thinking sooner rather than later

Bottom line: You should go!  They are open 7 days a week from 9am – 5pm and admission is FREE.  But do note that you can’t take a backpack in.  There was a sign outside with items that you can’t take in and backpacks was on the list.  I’m not sure why, and purses and other types of bags were fine to take in.  I happened to be carrying a backpack that day (a camera bag) so I just left it in the car and carried my phone/wallet in my pockets and put my camera on a strap to carry.