The Ruckus has “personal injury lawsuit” written all over it. (…) What can I say? it was hands-down the most ridiculous, ugly, pointless vehicle on display in the entire arena. And Grace, Vina and I all loved it. It’s basically a 2-wheeled ATV. You can’t look at it without thinking about ways to hurt yourself riding it. It simply inspires jackassery. It’s just begging to be covered in chicken wire and papier mache, or to be ridden “Bad-Route-style” through the woods while tripping, wearing nothing but cutoff shorts and a gorilla mask. Love it. It’s the future of scootering.

Here we are, ten years later, and my prophecy is fulfilled: Are You F*#kin Nuts? Chicago 2013. Actually it was fulfilled last year, when 40 riders attended the mostly-Ruckus-centered event, but as an expert globetrotting scooter journalist who posts once every two months these days if you’re lucky (you’re not), it passed right under my sad-old-man Cushman-polishing radar. We’ve been seeing more and more hot-rodded Ruckii at our own rallies in the past few years, and as far as I’m concerned, everyone’s welcome at most of our rallies, so we’re glad to have ‘em, and more power to ‘em, but obviously it’s not my demographic, I can’t even pretend to understand it, and I’m sure they’ve had their own blogs and tumblrs and sext aggregators and whatever it is that hipper, younger, carefree scooterists do these days to justify their existence. So as 2strokebuzz enters its wane of old age (seriously you guys, I need to pull the plug on this thing and put it out of its misery) cheers to the next generation, you’re just as stupid as we were and if you’re luckier than us, you’ll stay that way.

First Place – Patrick “duo” Harris of Minneapolis, MN with a 13.6 mile ride at -6F on his 2004 Stella GB150.
Second Place – Sterling Chin of Pleasant Grove, UT with 15.9 mile ride at -1F on his 2003 Stella.
Third Place – Brenden Smith of Grand Junction, CO with a 14.4 mile ride at -1F on his 1979 P125X.

Our bonus random drawing goes to:
Anthony Armstrong of Dallas, TX with a 29.9 mile ride at a balmy 53F on his 1961 Series 2 Lambretta Li150.

Thanks to all how entered and see you next year!

Now, a note, because everytime I post something like this, I get emails once a month forever from non-english speakers: 2strokebuzz does not sell this or any scooter parts. If you are interested in this product, please contact SIP in Germany.

First off, as you’ve surely noticed, 2SB has slowed down and is going through some changes. I started it as a zine in 1995, and it’s been online (mostly) since 2000. I’m pretty much ready to retire, and since Matt (with support from our pal Peter from Piston Ported) took the initiative to run the CWC this year, I told him he could do it however he wanted.

But I support his decision to restrict the Cold Weather Challenge to vintage(-ish) bikes, and here’s why:

Over the years, I’ve gone way out of my way to write about modern scooters and try to make new scooterists and modern scooterists feel like part of 2strokebuzz. I tried to look outside the ska/mod/skin thing, and show how diverse scootering was, even then.

In 1995, the main means of communication among scooterists was photocopied flyers and phone calls, followed distantly by Usenet (already with a rift between alt.scooter, and alt.scooter/classic, I haunted the former.) There were only a handful of worthwhile scooter shops nationwide. The only ‘modern’ scooters available were from Honda and Yamaha, and both were selling crusty models introduced in the mid-80s (the same models that contributed to Vespa’s demise in the U.S.). A big city would have a club or two, but if you didn’t live in L.A. or Chicago, it was hard to find anyone to ride with. There was a rally SOMEWHERE in North America any given weekend, but it may be a 14-hour drive to meet the same small group of regulars that would show up at all of them. Most of us were young, unmarried, childless, and underemployed.

In the late 90s when Vespa came back, and a few other marques showed up in the U.S., the rift grew, and I didn’t like it, and I spoke out about it. I felt like all scooterists needed to band together and be supportive to grow the ‘scene’ or ‘hobby’ or whatever it was and any scooter on the road was a good scooter.

Today, there are still a lot of reasons for scooterists to band together, and they do, and I like that. But things are easier now, just about any decent-sized city has a shop, and a couple clubs, and a weekly ride, and a couple rallies every year. Thanks to the internet, you can find infinite people with your same interests, either in your town, or around the world.

At the same time, after years of writing about modern scooters and trying to keep track of some truly shitty importers and too many importers that were nice enough but just didn’t know what the fuck they were doing, and dealing with legal threats and shady people and sifting through Google News looking for stories to repost, I’ve realized that even though I ride a modern scooter (far more than I ride vintage scooters these days), and I’m very satisfied with it, I just don’t get the same throb inside as I do when I see an old Vespa. It’s still fun to ride, and it’s fun to hang out with modern scooterists and go to big rallies where everyone’s welcome, but it’s also good to realize that there’s a lot of events going on, and more people with scooters than I’ll ever meet, so it’s great to have the option to spend a weekend with people I’ve known for 17 years, riding the unreliable bikes that got me interested in this whole mess. If I go to a car show, even a car show where anyone’s welcome, it’s gonna be the vintage cars that are gonna make me drool, and I’m gonna walk right past the ’95 Thunderbirds and Low Riders and custom vans and NASCAR replicas and customized modern Minis. No dis, it’s just not my thing, and I’m too old and WAY too busy to feel obligated to pay attention to stuff that doesn’t interest me much.

So hey, Jeff, I’m not offended at all that you’re offended, and I’m glad you’re picking up the event for the modernistas. Between the mild winter and the slow death of the commitment to 2strokebuzz, we only have one entry to date, so maybe yours’ll be more successful, and I’m cool with that. But to Matt (and me, too), there’s something special about dragging an unreliable, decades-old decomposing scooter (or a shiny restoration that you should really be more careful with) out of the garage in the dead of winter and sticking it to Mother Nature. Doing the same thing on a modern bike, even a warrantied, factory-fresh bike with electronic ignition, is still quite an accomplishment, and it’s absolutely cool to celebrate that, too. The Stella ‘loophole’ isn’t perfect, but it makes the line simpler to draw, and our sponsor probably asked to include Stellas simply because he supplies parts and accessories for Stellas.

So no hard feelings, it’s all good, the more people on scooters the better, the more scooter blogs and shops and clubs and rallies and winter challenges the better, I hope it all keeps growing so we can celebrate our differences as much as we celebrate our similarities, with the option to do both as the mood strikes.

Welcome to the 2012-13 Cold Weather Challenge brought to you by Piston Ported, Factory Tools, and 2Strokebuzz! Piston Ported is having a special during the CWC, check details below.

Below you will notice a few rule changes this year but also note there are actual prizes this year!

1st place receives a $50 gift certificate to Piston Ported and 2 shirts and shop rag from Factory Tools.
2nd place receives a $25 gift certificate to Piston Ported and 2 shirts and shop rag from Factory Tools.
3rd place receives a $25 gift certificate to Piston Ported and 1 shirt and shop rag from Factory Tools.
Bonus random drawing from all entrants 1 Piston Ported shirt and 1 shirt from Factory Tools.

The rules are as follows.

1. Contest runs December 1st, 2012 through February 28th, 2013
2. Vintage scooters and 2 stroke manual shift scooters (ie. Stella) only.
3. No sidecars.
4. Ride must be at least 10 miles long. Please chart your route on google maps or a gps and send the link.
5. Coldest Temperature wins – no cheating! We have the interwebs to check now.
6. Must submit at least one photo, preferably in front of a temperature sign but realize that’s not always possible. Upload photos to the gallery on scoot.net
7. In case of a tie the furthest distance wins.
8. Open to the residents of USA and Canada only.
9. Please email Matty (matty @ 2strokebuzz.com) with your results in the following format
Name:
City:
Date:
Scooter:
Distance: (include google maps link or gps route)
Temperature: (via http://www.noaa.gov)

Notes
-Even if you’re in Hawaii, Florida or Texas why not enter just to win your state! There will be a random drawing from all entries so you could still walk away with prize!
-Be safe, we know this is a dumb contest but don’t be a dummy and ride when it’s not safe.
-Please keep this post comment free and only post with your entry. All comments will be deleted.

Special Deal from Piston Ported!
During the course of the CWC Piston Ported will offer for all Tees at 2 for $25 or free shipping on all Piston Ported Seats! For the shirts use the code cwc241 and for the seats use code cwcseatship. Offer good December 1st, 2012 through February 28th, 2013.

Even though Bryan has his weekly VVV where he showcases a scooter centric videos each and every week, I had to share this new video from The Lions. The Lions feature members from Hepcat and a few other LA area bands and the video for their new single features some nice Vespa/Lambretta footage. Notice that only the Vespa riders receive credit at the end.

-Matt ‘With Fries’ DeVries.

So it’s real, it’s arriving within the next year, and the question remains: Is it as interesting to throw a leg over as it is to look at? And will YOU be buying?