Needless to say I will be back soon.

Blessings

Mama Kelly

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“Galileo”, The Indigo Girls

The disquiet and disatisfaction I’ve been feeling for the past few years is resurfacing again.  That in of itself is not much of a surprise.

When you do nothing to change a situation, out of depression or lack of choices or simply a sense of hopelessness, and squash your emotions relating to that situation into a little ball and swallow them, you cannot be surprised when those same feelings are regurgitated from time to time.

I’m unhappy at work.  I’m unhappy with many aspects of my home life. I’m unhappy with who I’ve become, or more accurately I’m unhappy with how far away I am from the path I was once on.  Unfortunately the problem, the stumbling block if you will, seems to be that I have no idea how to place myself back on that path.

I keep revisiting this topic here at 2 Witches, often enough that I am beginning to bore myself. I apologize for that.  Unfortunately, there are not that many avenues open to me to discuss this the way I need to, to vent if you will hoping that in that eruption of ideas and emotions that I will stumble upon something, some small nugget that will lead me “home.”

Home, in the sense of being where I belong, my feet firmly on some path, my head and heart in line with my spirit.

Unfortunately, I have yet to figure out anything.

I know that I need companionship.

I know that I need time to myself.

I know that I need access to activities that feed my soul.

I know that I need some means of escape (from time to time, not permanently) from the seeming endless stream of stress and anxiety and depression triggers that come from my workplace, from problems at home, from friction between my father and myself.

What I fail to see is how to manage it, how to fit it in.

And yes this post is little more than a long and drawn out whine (I hope you have some nice cheese & crackers to go along with it).   Maybe I’m just trying to shake myself out of sleepwalking through my life. Because, Gods know, that it has to stop.

I keep meaning to take a step back into ritual,toward honoring the Esbats and keeping the Sabbats.  With each passing month I skip it again due to lack of time or space or privacy.  But, those are just excuses.  The reality my heart just isn’t in it. I’m sad, and lonely. I’m soul-sick.

I have also mean to take a step back into spellwork.  I have planned more spells than I can count and backed out at the last minute because of, well frankly fear of the fallout, the unseen potentials that are opened (unleashed) when one sends energy out into the web of life.

And so I sit here struck again by the realization that I feel the same way that I’ve felt for the past 3 years.  That despite days or even weeks when things are “better”, when I manage a glimmer of joy as opposed to just survival, that I keep returning to this dark night of the soul.  I come to understand that some of my desire for a coven to belong to again is not just for the company and companionship for for the ability to have someplace to so “when (I am) so spiritually exhausted that (I) need to let somewhere else and someone else fill (me) back up”

Does that represent a personal failing on my part? Maybe.

Does that represent a basic human need, to be healed? I think so.

May I be healed! May you be healed! May we all be healed!

Blessings

Mama Kelly

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Today I am grateful for a Dr. willing to call in prescriptions for me on Friday when I came down with one of my sinus infections/bronchitis episodes as he wouldn’t be able to see me until Tuesday.

Today I am grateful for being able to afford to take Friday off.  Granted, I’ll still feel the pinch come payday, but losing the pay doesn’t drive me to a state of panic as it would’ve just a couple of months ago.

Today I am grateful for a weekend spent resting and napping and forcing fluids so that tomorrow morning I should be up to going back to work (even if I’m unsure about making it all day).

Today I am grateful for a hubby who, while suffering a touch of this bug himself, was willing to run out for Chinese food & do the food shopping & take care of most things that needed to be done to allow aforementioned rest.

Blessings

Mama Kelly

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Starting this week each Friday will find me posting a few posts in an effort to get the conversation going.

How Did You Celebrate Samhain?

Ghostly Encounters

Keeping Weekly Food Costs Down

Talk amongst yourselves and have fun!

Blessings

Mama Kelly

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Fill a bowl with pieces of construction paper cut into the shape of autumn leaves.  Over the next few weeks encourage your family members to write the things they are grateful for on them and place them back into the bowl, unsigned.  During your meal, and perhaps for the rest of the weekend, make a point of pausing to read these statements aloud.

Alternately (or also), pick up an inexpensive journal and over the course of the holiday weekend encourage your family members to write a paragraph (or more) of their favorite memory of the previous year.  Keep the journal with your holiday table trimmings and add to it each year.

Make a point of donating food at a local collection spot (school, library, supermarket, church).  Bless the food at home first though with words along the lines of  “may you never hunger, may you never thirst.”  Encourage the kids to help pick out the foods to donate and bring it to the donate site.

Remember it’s never too late to start a new tradition.

Blessings

Mama Kelly

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Our beloved Lady Rose is dealing with a nasty recurrence of a cellulitis infection.  If you could send healing light her way it would be appreciated.

Blessings

Mama Kelly

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My time on the one remaining computer in the house is limited as I am sharing it with 3 other people and I am generally not able to get on it in the evenings very much and can’t get on it at all in the morning.  I do plan to work my way back to your regularly scheduled programming soon though – one way or another.

For this week’s Pagan Video Tuesday I share a piece I found on Hecate’s blog a couple of days ago.  While I watched it my heart swelled and my eyes filled with tears.  Yes because it was beautiful and moving and touching in so many ways but also because I long so much to be part of a Pagan community again.

I miss having a group of people to grapevine about the circle with.

I miss having people to sit and toast the Gods and Goddesses with.

I miss having no excuses when it came to honoring the Esbats and Sabbats.

I miss not being a Witch alone.

I spent a few moments on Samhain evening listening to the wind rushing through the dying leaves and whispered my wishes to my ancestors.  I asked them to pull some strings for me.  Desires that revolve around hearth and finances and a home of our own, one day, in the country.

I forgot to ask for this one thing for myself and so I whisper it here in cyberspace and pray that my ancestors don’t mind pulling another string or two that will bring some likeminded folk my way.

I have family.

I have friends.

But, frankly, I’m still feeling a bit lonely.

In any case – may the dance spiral on – may the circle never be broken – may we each find renewal and healing and hope.

Blessings

Mama Kelly

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Yesterday was rather peaceful.  I managed to get a bit more sleep than I usually do, woke up and began my once-a-week cooking.  As always I am grateful for the ability to afford the food to feed my family and the energy & stamina to spend 4 hours on my feet preparing enough food to last the next 7 days.  But, this week I am particularly thankful to be able to afford to spend a little extra at the supermarket so that I could send 3 full meals over to “C”’s house.  “C” is the pseudo-step-mom of one of Miss Artistic’s best friends “S” and she recently fell off a horse and suffered a compound fracture on her dominant arm.

Once the cooking was done I tossed on a Rennie dress and the new corset I bought when we were in Maryland a couple of weeks ago.  While I was grateful for the gleam it put in Gamer Dude’s eyes, I was disappointed that the few trick-or-treaters came before I was so bedecked.  But my own children were out for a couple of hours (along with a few of Miss Artistic’s friends).  As I generally do, I fed the hungry crew pizza upon their return and listened to their happiness and excitement echoing off the walls of the house.

While I never got the time or privacy to do any type of formal rite, I consider my house blessed by their laughter.  However, I am grateful to have found a couple of minutes outside (in my Rennie gear) listening to the wind rushing through the leaves and whispering my hopes and dreams to my ancestors.

I am also grateful to have received, right in time for the new beginning this time of year always represents for me (maybe even more so than January 1), my new datebook.  I had seen the Busy Body Book featured over at Mrs. B’s blog, Confessions of a Pagan Soccer Mom.  I immediately fell in love with it, as it has columns which will enable me to keep myself very organized by separating my to-dos into categories (i.e. the kids, Dr visits, bills, work, and the blog).  I was particularly grateful that when I ordered mine for 2010 I was able to get, for free, a 2009 edition.  This will enable me to fine-tune my category choices so that I can start up 2010 with a handle on my plans for doing much more with this little spot in cyberspace.

May the coming days be filled with blessings large and small for each of you. May they be filled with pleasant surprises and moments of sheer joy.  May each day bring you closer to your deepest desires and fondest dreams.

Blessed be!

Mama Kelly

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Why do witches use brooms to fly on?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.

How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
With scare spray.

How do you make a witch scratch?
Just take away the W.

Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road?
It had no guts.

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A sand-witch.

What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
“Do you believe in people?”

What do you call two witches living together?
Broommates.

What’s a vampire’s favorite fast food?
A guy with very high blood pressure.

What does a sorceress wear?
A bewitching outfit.

How did the priest make holy water?
He took some tap water and boiled the hell out of it.

What happens to a fast witch on a slow broom?
She flies off the handle.

Hark! Hark to the wind! ‘Tis the night, they say,
When all souls come back from the far away-
The dead, forgotten this many a day!
~ Virna Sheard

Shadows of a thousand years rise again unseen,
Voices whisper in the trees, “Tonight is Halloween!”
~ Dexter Kozen

ON HALLOWEEN
The witches fly
Across the sky,
The owls go, “Who? Who? Who?”
The black cats yowl
And green ghosts howl,
~ Nina Willis Walter

On Hallowe’en the thing
you must do
Is pretend that nothing
can frighten you
An’ if somethin’ scares you
and you want to run
Jus’ let on like
it’s Hallowe’en fun.
~ from an Early Nineteenth Century Halloween Postcard

May Jack-o-lanterns burning bright
Of soft and golden hue
Pierce through the future’s veil and show
What fate now holds for you.
~ Author Unknown

Shadows of a thousand years rise again unseen,
Voices whisper in the trees, “Tonight is Halloween!”
~ Dexter Kozen

 Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn and cauldron bubble.
Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder’s fork and bling-worms sting,
Lizard’s leg and howlet’s wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.
Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn and cauldron bubble.
Cool it with a baboon’s blood,
Then the charm is firm and good
~ Song of the Witches – Shakespeare (Macbeth)

Wishing every one a safe and happy Halloween, filled with delightful frights and magical treats, Lady Rose

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Late Sept. I went to a Native American Indian harvest festival with Angelgirl (my daughter) – it was small but nice, held at a farm about 15 minutes away. Angelgirl and I enjoyed a relaxing morning browsing the displays and a couple of demos, and listening to speakers, stories, and some music. When it came time for dancing and they asked folks to join – I, of course, jumped in – and Angelgirl pretended not to know me.  LOL   It was adorable.

Oct. started off with a date with Teacherman, my hubby, to see Billy Crystals’ one man show, 700 Sundays at a theater in Philadelphia. It was “truly maaaarvelous”. He is an outstanding performer and the show was very funny, as well as touching the heart and leaving a few tears in our eyes. He told stories about growing up, his parents, etc. – the title for the show comes from the 700 Sundays he had with his dad before his father passed away when Billy Crystal was a young teen.

The following week (Oct. 8th) we went, along with another couple, to see Bruce Springstein playing his next to last concert at the “old” Giants stadium. He wrote a new song in honor of the stadium, “wrecking ball,” since the old stadium will be torn down soon. He is always at his best when in he plays in New Jersey, and the concert was great. This tour he plays a different album each night – our night he did the Born to Run album, which of course is awesome. The show even had fireworks at the finale.

For my birthday we are going to Medieval Times (on Nov. 1) – it has been over 15 years since we’ve been. I’m very very excited; plus we have the royalty package so we have FRONT row seats which is just going be soooo very cool (included is a dvd of the show and a cheering banner so we can wave it as we cheer our knight during the joust). Teacherman surprised me by getting a limo to take us all – which adds a big WOW factor to the day. There will be six of us, Teacherman and Angelgirl, my mom and two good friends from work (my friends and I are getting dressed in medieval costume which is going to add even more fun). Doors open 90 minutes before the show so there is plenty of time to mingle in the big room with the bar, where the characters from the show (the knights!) come out and mingle and photos can be taken. For the limo ride up we have a bottle of sparkling white wine and bottle of red wine chilling, and we are also packing some shrimp, cheese and crackers and for the ride home we are bring strawberries and chocolate dip along with a tin of the fancy cookies shaped like a straw. (I won’t be indulging, of course, but I can at least sip my ice water from a chilled glass in the limo and for a huge splurge I can have a strawberry on way home.)

I am so very thankful to have this time with my family and friends.

Wishing every one a happy and safe Halloween.   Lady Rose

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