$30 date night | Date Ideas, Marriage & Romance Blog

Alphabet Dating: A is for African Cuisine

Emma — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 02:51:06 +0000

You may have caught yesterday’s post on ABC Dating - we’re going to spend the next six months working our way through a dating alphabet. This has a few benefits - we make sure we’re doing something different every time we go on a date and we also introduce a little more structure into the dating routine (Structure? Routine? I know, it doesn’t sound terribly romantic. But if you don’t TAKE the time, you’ll never HAVE the time and we find in our busy lives if we don’t set parameters, we end up drifting along in a sea of bad TV and takeaway food).

We kicked it off last night with a visit to Cafe Lalibela for African food in the heart of Footscray, Melbourne. It doesn’t get more authentic than eating with your hands. They served their dishes up on huge ‘pancakes’ of traditional, sour injera bread. You tear pieces off and use them to scoop up the tasty, spiced stews that are set in the middle of them.

Everything on the menu costs $12. They have some of the best vegetarian cuisine around - and we definitely recommend the vego dishes over the meat ones. The dishes were very filling, especially when you factor the bread into it.

Grab yourself an Ethiopian Beer while you’re there for a tiny $5 (Cafe Lalibela imports it into the country themselves!), and let the wait staff recommend to you their favourites… they definitely know what they’re on about.

Cheap as metaphorical chips, you won’t be disappointed and you’d be hard-pressed to go too far over your $30 budget. Take your own wine if you like, they don’t sell it there (Remember: it doesn’t count in the budget if you already had it in the house!).

Cafe Lalibela
91 Irving Street, Footscray (Melbourne, Australia)
Reservations Recommended! (03) 9687 0300

Love Plug: Hollywood Make-Out Mints

Emma — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 21:00:24 +0000

I have just fallen in love with these cute-as-a-button Make-Out Mints… packaged in a sexy retro pink tin with embossed hearts on it, it’s the perfect product to keep you date night ready in a crisis. Tuck them into your handbag and freshen yourself up pre-date with the tiny pink heart-shaped mints inside.

Says the website: “BIG DATE night… you’ve artfully applied the most delectable shade of lipstick and your lips are full, supple, downright beckoning. You’ve practiced your pucker in the mirror for hours. You’re as prepared as a (slightly naughty) Girl Scout for that all-important goodnight kiss…except, sniff-sniff…just when the heck did that onion-and-garlic-marinated sardine wearing a sweaty gym sock happen to crawl into your mouth and take a siesta?! (Ding dong) Yikes! There’s your hunk-of-the-month delivery! Argh, what are you to do now, Ms. Stinky Breath?”

Pop a Make-Out Mint of course! Far more stylish than your average roll of mentos, discreet and fun all at once. I’m carrying them everywhere.

Happy pashing, lovers!

Alphabet Dating

Emma — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:10:11 +0000

Well, we felt we needed even more structure than usual this year - and to be honest, a new dating challenge. When we have SO MANY date ideas to choose from on our little date night generator, it can get a bit hard to decide what to do next.

The ABC Dating trend has been bandied around for awhile now. We’ve heard of couples that have done it themselves, it’s been written about in the media and now?

Denis and I are going to attempt it.

So on top of our usual date night parameters (Being a $30 Budget, taking it in turns to organise the date nights and making sure we date once a week) we are now Alphabet Dating.

It’s pretty straightforward - we start with a date that starts with A (i.e. Going to an Art Gallery) and work our way through B, C and the rest until we get to Z (Which will undoubtedly be a trip a Zoo of some sort).

It starts tonight… stay tuned for the update on where we’re going and the review. I’ll also be listing great date ideas by letter for the next 6 months as we go!

We’re looking forward to it. And hey - if you feel like your love life needs a metaphorical Berocca, why don’t you join us in our ABC Adventures?

Getting Back on the Date Night Horse

Emma — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 21:00:06 +0000

I have to confess, ever since Christmas hit Den and I have been kind of… slack when it comes to date night. It’s been a blur of road trips, holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, partying… summer nights at rooftop bars… bad, bad date night couple.

We’ve waned from our usual Wednesday night date night, which means some weeks go by with us forgetting to schedule a date night… and while we’ve had lots of quality time spent together, that’s really not what it’s all about.

It’s served to really reinforce to us again that if you don’t have a schedule and structures in place, date night will never happen. It’s too easy for us to fall off the wagon and end up in front of the TV every night (the fact that Den gave me the entire Sex and the City Box Set for my birthday also hasn’t helped matters any!).

So.

We’re getting back on the date night horse. (It’s a fancy horse, too!) We’re recommitting to date night with each other again. And if you’ve forgotten all about your own date nights too, we recommend you do the same.

Remember the rules?

1. Pick a night every week.
That is your night together. Don’t schedule anything over the top of it. If you absolutely have to, then you can negotiate in advance with your partner to move it to another day for that week only.

Wednesday is our date night.

2. Take it in turns to organise.
It is no fun for one person to continually be the instigator of date night every time. If you’re stuck for ides, guess what? We’ve done the hard work for you. If you head to $30 Date Night and set up an account, you can even save a list of the date ideas you love the sound of so that you can refer to it when it’s your week to organise the date.

3. Mix it up.
Humans are creatures of habit. If you don’t consciously choose to do new, fun things with your partner every week then you will end up at the same favourite restaurants (think about how many times you go to the same place to eat out, or order takeaway from the same Thai food shop…) or doing the same, comfortable activities again and again.

You may love doing those things, but your relationship will not thank you for it. Remember, it’s been proven that doing new things together as a couple sparks the same hormones as when you first fell in love! Bring back the butterflies by doing something fresh and different every week!

And remember, it doesn’t matter if you have kids, or your budget is tight, there are ways around all those things and that is essentially what $30 Date Night is all about. Don’t make excuses. Don’t wiggle your way out of it. Just do it.

Who’s with us?

The Post-Break Up Makeover

Emma — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 10:15:05 +0000

I’ve just finished reading this great post The Power of the Post-Break Up Makeover from the ever-fun Zoe Foster over on Primped.

Says Zoe: “Nothing says “I’m over you” to your ex-boyfriend than hiring a Monster truck and gleefully driving over his car, or in the case of Miss ABBIE CORNISH (who recently split up with one RYAN PHILLIPPE) chopping all your hair off, dying it gigablonde and wearing a spectacular red dress (and a saucy smirk) down the red rug.”

I completely agree. Head to Primped.com to check out the photos and read the rest of the post.

Last time I broke up with a boyfriend, I went nuts on my post-break up makeover too. But unfortunately it didn’t turn out quite the way I had in mind.

I dyed my hair dark brunette, cut a short fringe in (not the best idea on semi-wavy, semi-curly hair with a perpetual cowlick in front) and stacked on close to 10kg. The dark hair made my skin look pasty and I felt like I always had to pack on the make up to compete with the drama of my locks. Awkward much?

Yeah, way to show him! I learned my lesson very quickly. Never, ever do anything that drastic until you’re truly over it/him.

mX Column: Lessons from Marriage

Emma — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 08:15:02 +0000

It’s my first wedding anniversary today. I can hardly believe a year has flown by, but at the same time it seems almost a lifetime ago.
I’m acutely aware that each anniversary is cause for celebration – particularly when statistically speaking, there’s at least a 40% chance that any given couple may not stay married forever.
What I wanted to do was to share what I had learned after a year of marriage. But, to be completely honest, I think I’m still trying to figure all that out.
Bridget Jones coined the ‘Smug Married’ term for us, instantly pitting singletons against marrieds but I wouldn’t believe it for one second.
You don’t get all the answers just because you’ve signed a marriage certificate.
Before you ever walk down the aisle, there is this perception that once you get married, your life will be sorted out once and for all.
I’m guilty of almost always having big expectations. Snow White and Cinderella have been drumming it into me all my life. You grow up, you fall in love with a handsome prince and you get married. Then (here comes the best part) you live Happily Ever After. The end.
Funnily enough, my housekeeping skills didn’t magically transform overnight (apparently you aren’t automatically bestowed them when the ring is slipped on the finger) and our petty arguments didn’t give way to the marital bliss I had anticipated.
I was brought back to earth smack bang in the middle of my honeymoon last year. The first few days were blissful; idyllic beach, cocktails at sunset and a poolside resort room – all nothing short of perfection.
Then the food poisoning kicked in. Not me, my new husband. Poor thing. But still – the image of him hurling up into the toilet bowl wasn’t in the mental honeymoon-brochure I’d been cultivating in my head since I first married off my Barbie and Ken all those years ago.
My dream honeymoon wasn’t stacking up.
Of course, the same lessons needed to be relearned once we came back home and realised that we weren’t automatically happy just because we’d gotten married.
If you wanted to become a karate master, or learn Mandarin, you’d understand that acquiring those skills will take a good deal of effort, energy and time. But marriage is sold to us as something that happens quite naturally once you’ve found your “true love”.
It simply can’t work that way.
Because as wonderful as marriage is, the reality is that you’re still trying to fit two completely separate beings together into one life.
So, at the end of one year of marriage all I can say is that I still feel like a novice. But here’s to continuing the learning process – and I can’t imagine anyone better to do that with than Den.

Paper (First) Wedding Anniversary Gift Ideas

Emma — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 04:23:17 +0000

It’s our first wedding anniversary today! That makes it a paper anniversary. We’ve decided that we’re going to stick with the traditional gifts in the traditional order.

Of course being a guy, Den automatically went “Well, what do I get you? A ream of A4?”

No, Den. No you don’t.

Here’s a list of paper-anniversary gift ideas for all you people out there who are about as creative as my husband and need a little inspiration.

Paper Anniversary Gift Ideas (aka 1st Wedding Anniversary Gift Ideas)

1. Books - Make it a special book. Whether it’s a beautiful coffee table book on a subject your partner loves, or a heavy cookbook (assuming they are a gourmand who loves to be in the kitchen) or an early edition copy of one of their favourite-ever novels, this is a beautiful present they can keep forever. Remember to write them a happy anniversary message in the front.

2. A Notebook - If your spouse is the type to always be having creative ideas, or writing notes, lists or poetry, then a beautiful journal that they can keep their private thoughts in is a lovely present to give.

3. Framed photo of the two of you - Photos are printed on paper, right? It still fits the theme! Find a favourite or even call your wedding photographer and organise a surprise print of one of your wedding photos that you can have mounted and framed for your sweetie.

4. Tickets - Your partner’s favourite band is touring this year? Or a musical they’ve been dying to see is coming up? Whether it’s concert, orchestra, opera, ballet or comedy, splash out on tickets for two as a great first paper anniversary present.

5. Voucher - Again, this fits with the paper theme but you can still make it nice. Get them a voucher to spend in their favourite shop, or a voucher for an amazing experience you know they’ll love, a day spa, or even a fancy restaurant.

6. Magazine Subscription - Not everyone wants to splash out too much on their anniversary - this is good news if it’s your paper anniversary (not so much when you get to diamonds!). Find out what your partner’s favourite magazine is (hint: check their stash of back issues for what they seem to read a lot of) and get your love a subscription to that title.

7. Tattslotto Ticket - You can look at this two ways - it could be the crappiest anniversary present ever or assuming lady luck is on your side, it could be the BEST ANNIVERSARY PRESENT EVER. “What did your wife get you for your anniversary?” “Oh, not much… only 10 MILLION DOLLARS!”

8. Wedding Vows - Have your wedding vows printed out nicely - either by a graphic designer, or hand-calligraphy and framed. If not your vows, then a special poem or reading that was done at your wedding or the lyrics to a song you included in your ceremony.

Anyone else got any lovely ideas for Paper Wedding Anniversary Presents? Do you do the traditional presents or ignore it altogether and go straight for the jewelry? (I wouldn’t blame you if you did!)

mX Column: Money Matters

Emma — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 06:02:40 +0000

It’s the last few days now of Febusave. More frightening than Febfast (cutting out alcohol), Febusave is an initiative set up by the ANZ Bank to encourage women to pay better attention to their finances. I rallied, and decided it was time I started taking an active role in looking after my own financial situation.

You see, I hate financials. Most of my life, I’ve taken a head-in-the-sand approach to my money. I don’t pay attention to my bank balance, have been of the belief that saving is about as exciting as rearranging my sock drawer and have not exactly been stringent about paying my bills on time.

Funnily enough, I’m fantastic at spending money. If it were an Olympic sport, you would’ve seen me on a podium at Beijing for sure.

I’m also a little ashamed to admit that once Den and I became engaged, I happily relinquished all money matters over to him. Yep – I was one of those women that was just waiting for a man to take over for her.

What’s scary is that up to 50% of all divorce cases cite money issues as the deal-breaker. Most couples will argue about money at some stage and if it’s not dealt with, it can become a serious stressor on the relationship.

It’s not necessarily that these couples don’t have enough money, it’s different approaches to money that causes the problems.

For instance, I’m from the “money is for enjoying” school of thought. And I’m probably more extremist than most about it.

Den, meanwhile, is all about the very sensible “money is for security” philosophy.

(For all those playing at home, if neither of these sounds like you, there is a third category which is “money is for sharing” that you may fall into).

Unfortunately the reality of relationships means that you have to talk about money at some point, and maybe even come clean about your huge credit card debt or your secret shoe fetish.

Setting a budget as a couple and laying some ground rules for financial spending is mandatory. I also believe that having some personal play money - that the other partner can’t keep track of - is necessary.

For now, Den and I take a fairly separate approach to our finances. No joint account, no questions over spending - apart from the occasional, accusatory “Is that new?” from him when I sport a top he’s never seen… (“What, this old thing?”). But we are across what is going on financially for the other person and the communication helps.

But what makes him (and me) most comfortable now is knowing I’m putting money away and paying myself first, and I’m committed to keep saving and to maintain an active interest in our family finances.

It was about time I grew up. What about you?

Rate your Woman’s Driving Skills

Denis — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 02:45:46 +0000

My wife’s driving freaks me out! There are 2 ways she manages a car.

1. Foot flat on the accelerator
2. Foot hard on the brake

Coming to a halt is in a series of multiple stabs at the brake pedal as if we’re bunny-hopping a manual car – BUT the car is an auto!

Today was a trip around the bay – time to chill out with friends by a pool. I was hanging up my keys as the night before was HUGE! Not only was I sporting a killer hangover my BAC wasn’t in the driving mode. Emma had control of the wheel!

At one stage during the drive Emma sat behind an ambulance, riding up its back-end… the ambulance was too big for us to see what the traffic was doing in-front! I have no idea what was going through Emma’s head but for some reason she didn’t see a problem in tail-gating the ambulance.

I lasted all of about 30 seconds before I couldn’t handle it anymore… “babe, please back off. You’ve got no line of sight and if the ambo brakes hard, we’re going into the back of it!”

Em’s replies with… “No stress – if we stack at least there’s an Ambulance close by!”

I replied with *chuckle* … “now back off the ambo and drive like a normal person!”

Guys… how would you rate your womans driving?

1 = Emma’s driving

10 = Freakin awesome!

mX Column: Hand-in-hand

Emma — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 04:59:42 +0000

Nothing melts the heart quite like watching an elderly couple walking along hand-in-hand together.

I saw an octogenarian couple crossing Swanston Street the other day. They didn’t even look as though they could negotiate the street without one another. The husband had a walking stick, the wife a hunched back. They were clinging to each other’s hands in support and care. And perhaps even from years of habit.

What is it about watching a little old couple show such affection for each other that tugs at our heartstrings? Picture the same old couple knocking socks in bed together and most of us would cringe.

Our modern society places so much importance on the aesthetics of life – attractiveness, wealth and social status all rank highly on our radars. But the chances are, that by the time you’ve hit 80, not a lot of these things are on your side anymore.

Which is probably why it’s incredibly moving to see two people that have lost so much of their youth, yet still have so much in each other.

Does it represent what we all really want when we’re old? Do we recognise on some level how lucky those two people are to have each other, after everything?

While it’s impossible to really quantify, some social researchers think that we don’t hold hands as much as we used to – people on the street seem more likely to have a mobile phone in tow rather than a beloved.

It seems a shame, as it is proven that holding hands connects you to your partner, gives you intimacy, reassurance and silent support.

It’s true that for younger generations, the act of holding hands is more intimate than a kiss – a young couple is most likely going to have a quick pash in a dark club long before they progress to holding hands.

I still remember the first time Den held my hand. We had been a casual affair for about 9 months – we weren’t dating, we weren’t exclusive, we literally were good friends with benefits and not much else.

One night, we took a stroll and Den was (unbeknownst to me) trying to summon the courage to ask if we could make it serious. He grabbed my hand as we walked – shocking me in the process.

After months of us sleeping together, it was the hand-holding that seemed overly intimate. What makes me think there’s something wrong with that sentiment?

Back to our little old couple, as I watched them I was struck by how it’s becoming rare to see couples even make it to their golden age of marriage. Maybe it’s the couples that do hold each other’s hands that make it there more easily.