30 Points of View

1°C

I could hear the airboat before I saw it; the thrum of the fan propeller grew louder as it approached and finally came into view. It's driver, a sallow-faced Korean man, was wearing a bright yellow poncho and camo waders; he expertly steered the boat parallel to the dock ...

How to Not Get Laid at a Wedding: A Guide.

Two beautiful people, who I am honored to call friends, wedded this past weekend in the lovely state of Vermont. While not quite a “destination wedding”, we made a weekend of it. Saturday evening the crew descended on Woodstock, VT, to subsequently fill our time with shopping, hiking, ...

the Illogical uses of a New Yorker Magazine, or What {the hell…} to do on Labor Day

I mean, seriously. What the fuck is Labor Day, this imposter holiday, this obtusely xeric excuse for the rabble not yet ready to give up summer? The vital force of labor added materially to the highest standard of living and the greatest production the world has ever known and has brought ...

The Contingency

SCENE It is evening. The downtown apartment of Kate and Rob Feinmore. Kate’s eyes are glinting, her anger as fresh now as three hours ago when she first confronted Rob about his latest infidelity. Rob is tired, stoic. He stares at the fireplace mantle as Kate stands just left of where ...

A Few Good Ifs

And then, a cop car screeched up the driveway. The door popped open. He pointed a massive flashlight and clutched his holster. He hissed into his radio: It’s just some kid. “Get in the car,” he said. “Officer, you don’t have to arrest me.” “I’m not arresting you,” he said, “I’m telling you ...

Jeff/Athena

Jeff. She was right, I really did ruin her. She yelled it, Dad, actually yelled it. It was like she was a victim from a soap opera or a girl at a junior high school dance who walked into the auditorium, only to find another girl wearing the same shirt. What ...

Conditions

I If you notice me, then will you smile back? If you give me a second chance, then I know you like me. If you say that you love me, then you will be the first. If I leave you, then you will stay by my side. If I am far away, then you will ...

“Oh Thank You Lord in Heaven!! I am so glad to hear that I got the nutsack hair…”

Sit right down everyone, and let me tell you a tale...A tale, about some pubes. That's right, Pubes. Short and curlys. The Fuzz (that isn't an antiquated term for the police). Hair pie (not gender neutral). Pubic Hair. Hair from the Human Genitals, in this case, male (No homo). It started innocently ...

When They Tore Down My Detroit

Detroit’s ruins had always pulled at me. When my father was alive, we lived in rundown apartments that later sat unoccupied, blighted. Once he died, any drive past one of my hometown’s abandoned factories or dead houses had me looking, as if the walls had secrets to share. I left Michigan for college, but ...

Fantasy Football: Bragging Rights are (in) the Name of the Game

It’s that time of year again, when more than 20 million Americans are preparing for another season of fantasy football. As fantasy sports enthusiasts we have endless resources to call on when readying ourselves for draft day, from niche and traditional media outlets to Twitter and Facebook. But I won’t ...