(Editor’s Note: We sincerely didn’t intend to make this post so lady-centric but since we’re a sister driven company and girls are mostly great and perfect, we’re just gonna roll wif it.)

xo31CL (Aim/Heath/Teet)

—

Like most natural born persons of fat, I’ve never been one to move quickly on purpose.  That was until I hit the wall of being old/having to go to my sister’s wedding, where upon I decided that it might be good to be able to run ten paces without feeling like my lungs were on fire/not have people look at the wedding pictures thinking I’m the bride at a shotgun wedding.  Now I runnnnn fairly regularly (it’s like running, but much, much slower), and in order to keep myself from focusing too much on the shooting pain in any given part of my body, I like to soundtrack my movement with upbeat jams.  Granted, dance jams aren’t exactly my area of expertise, but running to, say, beloved old pop music from New Zealand is tough (believe me, it exists! and I’ve tried!), and I stopped giving a crap about Jay-Z after he retired the first time.  So Teeter has given me some of her favorite current tunes to enhance my runnnnnning experience, and she has asked me to review them for your pleasure. Most of them aren’t really runnn-worthy (I won’t run to Jason Mraz, but I would run *from* him), but Teet likes it when I hate things, so everyone wins.  Except my body, which hurts.
-SB

Jason Mraz, “I’m Yours”

Before I even start talking about the song itself, it should be known that Teeter and I have sparred over the quality of Jason Mraz’s songcraft years ago (datexedge.com makes us look insane! go scope it sometime!), even though I think I’ve only ever heard one of his songs (she said his lame hat was hiding unknown potential, I thought said hat was probably covering a bald spot, plus he wears flip flops). Ten seconds into this song though I knew that I’d hate it, because it sounds vaguely like that strangely emotional, ukulele version of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” that was used effectively when Dr. Greene died on ER (effective in that it made me cry, but ER made me cry over the years more than anything else on TV, I think because every 10th frame they’d subliminally sneak in a picture of a dying puppy), and used cloyingly at the end of the Hawaiian season of “The Real World,” which was probably too long ago for many readers to remember, and realizing that that season was so long ago that everybody on it is probably married/a parent/in the later stages of alcoholism is making me a little misty as a type this.  Long story short, this guy’s voice is annoying, it reminds me instantly of annoying, and ladies, if a guy puts this on a mix for you in the first few weeks of your togetherness, run for your life. Take it from me, I know things, I’ve seen a lot of crap (like the Hawaiian season of “The Real World”).

KSM, “I Want You To Want Me”

Again, assuming your readership is of the age demographic that prefers MTV’s basic location-based programming (”The Hills,” “The City,” “The Cul de Sac,” etc), I feel the need to point out this song is a cover of a song by the band Cheap Trick.  Cheap Trick rose to prominence in the 70’s/80’s–  they perfected the half-ugly/half-pretty band dynamic, which applied not just to their faces, but their names (the lead singer is named Robin [beloved dreamboat], the drummer is named Bun [sounds, looks like he's escaped from McDonaldland]), a dynamic which was proceeded by having a mixed-looks band with a bass player of indeterminate brown origin, but that’s neither here nor there.  Point is, their most famous release was a double LP called “Live at Budokan,” a recording of them performing their hits before a crowd of screaming girls in Japan (screaming for Robin, not Bun), and while it was ultimately revealed that a lot of the screams were put in later, I really like that these girls are covering this song instead of screaming at it.  Although it’s even more confusing than that, since KSM are really covering the other girl-based cover of this song, which was done for the movie “10 Things I Hate About You,” since this version is for the (kind of funny/awesomely feminist) TV show based on that movie, which is based on Shakespeare.  So this is the cover of a cover for a TV show of a movie of a play.  We are through the looking glass here people.  Also, this is an excellent song to do at karaoke, especially if a dude you like is nearby (and if you think the dude’ll be freaked out, eff him, he’s probably a big baby that would’ve made you a Jason Mraz-based mix CD).

Jordin Sparks, “Battlefield”

Most people my age hear a song called “Battlefield” and think of a ye olde video for a Pat Benetar song called “Love is a Battlefield” which featured a bunch of women dressed like post-apocalypitc sea wenches doing a quasi-”Thriller” dance in formation towards some dude, which, I guess, is how troops advance on the “battlefield” of relationships.  Personally, I have never donned a shirt with the neck cut off and joined in a group shimmy towards some jerk who didn’t text his girl back, but whatever, that was my first thought about this song.  That and the singer’s name is spelled wrong and should probably be Jordan Spirks. (Is she from American Idol or something? I know, I know, who doesn’t watch AI, but I tried watching the first season of that show and couldn’t discern a difference between the show and the commercial breaks since everybody was dressed like giant cups of COCA COLA and in between every person singing a song in an inappropriate key there was twenty minutes of contestants scriptedly palling around in a Ford.)  Whatever, this song isn’t bad– everybody loves the yin and yang of raw synth beat (grr!) and tender emotional piano (sob!)–but Teet promised me some sort of eternal rollerjam anthem, and I’m not feeling that at all.  This song does not make me want to wear boots with leggings, gather some mutual friends of the great pirate princess sleeves, and smother a heartbreaker with choreography.  This song is maybe best for the kinds of girls who’d be woo’d and then dumped by a guy who serenades them by singing along to Jason Mraz?

Pink, “Please Don’t Leave Me”

I kind of admire Pink in that she’s been around forever in pop years–started with that song where she had to act all thuggy over the sound of Timbalake-esque bubbles popping in the background, went on to make a record of bad teen poetry that, I swear to god, is to lesbians’ cars what Paul Simon’s “Graceland” is to suburban Volvos, did some record with that jerk from Rancid that nobody cared about (team Brody, ’sup), and yet she still remains relevant 10ish years later with her bizarro mixture of beats, anger, and the self-absorbtion of a tween (no offense, tweens, but remember to hold on to them diaries, because in ten years, those entries about feeling unpretty will be comedy gold, I promise you).  This song is extra bizarro in that there’s that “Lalala” thing in the background that makes her sound like she’s both in pain and blissfully lobotomized. Plus, like all the Pink songs I’ve heard (not many, I admit–both myself and my car prefer dudes), this is up to her lyrical standard of zero-subtlety– she doesn’t just eschew metaphors to make her emotional point, she often doesn’t bother to rhyme, because that would get in the way of explaining *exactly* how she feels, because feelings put dinner on her table, but in case you wanted a break from her uptempo catharsis, there’s her disembodied voice in the background, with the acoustics making it sound like she recorded while she was on the toilet, cooing like a moron.  At the end of the day tho, this song has all things Pink– emotion like a ton of bricks and a “rock” sound (which at this point really just means live drums over synth/sampled ones, ask the Roots)– but no “hook,” which is the catchy part of the song you find yourself humming while, say, on the toilet.  Just a lalala afterthought.  So whatever, not her best.  And because I have to keep mentioning it, I hate Jason Mraz.

Taylor Swift, “Love Story”

FYI, in case she hasn’t made it abundantly clear, Teet loves Taylor Swift.  They share initials, love for the Jonai, and each other’s pain.  So, as Teet’s platonic life partner ™, I have heard this song before, and while it isn’t awful, it’s basically Shania, Jr., and even if you like pop country, it’s not so easy to runnn to.  BTW, pop country, as I define it, is a standard pop song with a token country instrument (slide guitar, fiddle, banjo, all of which make cameos here) and completely intelligible lyrics that tell a story with a beginning, middle and end.  (FWIW, rock critic/pariah Chuck Klosterman pretty much agrees with me, although he hates “alt country” for being pretentious or something, but then again, he also worships the band Explosions in the Sky, and they ain’t exactly Clint Black, so he can kiss my Lucinda Williams-loving butt).  So Taylor Swift starts her story with, “We were both young when I first saw you,” which, relative to her current age, means she’s singing about a dude she met in pre-K playgroup.  It’s also got that classic pop country theme of “let’s run away from this small town,” which, weirdly, is as popular as, “god bless our small town” (that we can’t wait to run away from?).  Then she and her beau become Romeo and Juliet, but she also says she has a “scarlet letter” (WTF?), which means she’s either saying that she’s a star-crossed lover who’s also been shunned for cuckolding her husband, or that English 101 was bypassed for eye makeup application 101 by her homeschooler.  The story ends with her and her Romeo getting engaged, natch, which is a story that could really only be pulled off by someone as young as she is, because as jaded and gristled as I am, I hear small town teen love stories and think less of “Romeo and Juliet” and more of MTV’s “16 & Pregnant.”  So I understand why Teet likes it ’cause it has an actual melody, but the lyrics/story are so dominant, and that story is so nauseating, that I can’t deal.  Jason Mraz.  LOL.

Miley Cyrus, “The Climb”

Even I know who Miley Cyrus is–I’m old, but I read US Weekly before I get my haircut and I’ve seen her signature backpack line at Target (Go! Collection, meet No! Collection). Still, the whole Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana phenomenon is totally lost on me, if only because her dad is such an obvious, you-have-got-to-be-joking-me tool shed who had the most unreal mullet in the history of popular culture (so curly and long that not even the dirtbaggiest Williamsburger wouldn’t attempt it as it defied both gravity and irony) and taught the world to line dance, a practice which infects our weddings and state fairs to this day.  I mean, his one hit song will not die–he’s Hank Williams to the dark denim shorts set–but now he’s a grown ass man with obviously straightened hair who’s trying to look like he’s someone in their 20s except that someone is 20whatever in the early 90s instead of now and looks like they try to look mall-alt and wounded in order to prey on 15-year-old girls.  And her dad is important because there is no way on this earth she would be famous had her daddy not decided he couldn’t feed his family on achy breaky heart ring tone money alone and pushed his baby girl into the spotlight.  Because she’s fairly average in the face, with or without a blonde wig, and this song is passing as generic pop country (see Taylor Swift, but this is way more country-by-numbers) but could so easily be stumbled upon when spinning the FM dial in the middle of nowhere and finding the station that has all love songs crooned by dudes that are not in honor of ladies but are in fact creepy odes to Jesus the Christ.  Teeter only made me hear this because she knew I’d hate it (nobody could run to this–grandmas couldn’t gun their Pride Jazzy ™ scooters to this), and surprise, Teet knows my life, barf. If you find yourself feeling up against it all and this is the song that inspires you, then a, you probably deserve to fail, b, Jesus saves, and c, this review has unbelievably long sentences that are as jumbled and urgent as Jason Mraz’s need to buy a vowel.

T.I. (feat. Rihanna), “Live Your Life”

Of all the songs Teet has zapped me for this experiment, this is the one I’m most likely to actually runnnn to (and good for me, I’d actually heard this song before since I’ve both seen “The Hangover” and shop at H&M, my ultimate source for what the kids listen to these days) (and clothes that are likely to burst into flame).  The only thing I don’t get is why Rihanna, who can sing (”Umbrella” = H&M’s number 1 jam for over a year running, finally over taking Mariah Carey’s “We Belong Together,” which, despite being many years old, is probably playing right now at the H&M at the Rockingham Mall), is auto-tuned/vocodered to death at times.  I know everybody loves auto-tune right now, but, to paraphrase producer Steve Albini, there’s a fine line between nudging someone’s vocal stylings into the correct key and making them sound like physicist Stephen Hawking.  I also admire than not every song on this record “features” someone else, because at the end of the day, hip-hop artists are so insecure they make Woody Allen look macho–did I mention how nice my rims are and how many ladies I get with and oh yeah see how many people wanna collabo with me and in no way do I have anything to prove oh yeah I fear nothing and nobody which is why me and my 13 friends are heavily armed–so for this guy to stand alone for so many tracks makes me think that hip-hop’s not headed into a Kanye vortex of co-dependence and self-doubt.  And while Teet promised that Jordan Spirks would be a fist-pumping anthem, I say that this is way more likely to be played when fist-pumping is called for, like at a sporting event, high school graduation, or parking lot of the Sonic Drive-In in Anahiem, CA on any given Saturday night.  Or during an elder she-fat’s daily runnnn on the streets near her house.  Or when an angry mob finally gathers to stone and crucify Jason Mraz.

]]> http://www.31cornlane.com/2009/07/sb-mayor-of-tangent-city-population-1-song-reviews/feed/ http://www.31cornlane.com/2009/06/talented-lady-spotlight-leslie-simon/ http://www.31cornlane.com/2009/06/talented-lady-spotlight-leslie-simon/#comments Fri, 19 Jun 2009 21:02:27 +0000 admin http://www.31cornlane.com/?p=423

CALL IT LIKE YOU SEE IT: Leslie Simon, or Les Simes as we love to call her, is an old school Sperber Sis superfave. She’s a writer of musics and culture who recently published a book on Harper Collins entitled “Wish You Were Here,” that’s designed to teach kids and grown-ups alike about the best cities in our fine nation to hone yr musical chops while eating the tastiest chow and finding the sassiest thriftscore. She spends many a page fist pumping the major tastemakers: NYC, LA and Chicago — yet always paying mind to the lil’ guy up and uppers, too: Omaha, Nebraska, Lawrence, Kansas, etc. Girl leaves no informational stone unturned.

One of the best things ’bout Les Simes, besides her mini-collection of limited edish silk-screened rock show posters or her inherent skillz for interior design, is the fact that lady is so not afraid to call it like she sees it. She did so in her first book, “Everybody Hurts” and she’s doing it again big with “Wish You Were Here.” LS has found this unique way of providing historical info on scenes and tunes — while NEVER EVER EVEN ONCE forgetting to go for the full-on shakedown of anyone from said scenes whose savory OR unsavory style deserves to be spotlighted. She’ll razz Brent from Tall Ships In A Sea of Loneliness for carrying a flat iron in his man-purse. She’ll unapologetically point out how JC and Brady from In His Light May Righteousness Shine Eternal insist on fronting that their band isn’t Christian. She’ll tell Bo from Blood of Denise Doing Me Wrong to take his sexist tunes and shove ‘em. Les can touch on touchy subjects (with true finesse) that most other writers would be quick to scram from.

We asked her a gaggle of questions to remind friends of 31CL that Loud and Proud is the only way to be. “Wish You Were Here” is available now at Urban Outfitters, Amazon.com and many other majorly legit booksellers — and is yrs for the grabbing. So do it up!

*****

–Q + A SPEED ROUND, 1–

WHOLE NAME: Leslie Simon

FAVE SNACK: Pretzels dipped in whipped cream cheese. (Don’t knock it ’til you try it!)

BORN AND RAISED: Shaker Heights, Ohio

WHEELS: Toyota Matrix. Keanu Reeves not included.

PRESENT DIGS: One-bedroom apartment with the prettiest hardwood floors I’ve ever seen

EAST COAST OR WEST COAST? West Coast

–Q + A EXTENDO ROUND–

Have you always loved musics? You’ve told me in the past thatchu felt like a musical late bloomer. Is that true or am I making that up? If yes, why?

Yes, yes, yes… A million times yes! I’ve always loved music but I didn’t necessarily have the best taste until I hit my 20s. I was totes that girl who danced around her room to Paula Abdul’s “Cold-Hearted Snake” as a tot and would sneak glimpses of MTV when my parents weren’t looking. For my 13th birthday, one of my bros Jacob bought me Nirvana’s Bleach album. Impressive, right? Unfortunately, my lil’ pop-filled noggin wasn’t ready for that kind of musical rebellion because I returned the disc for Mariah Carey’s Music Box LP. Cue snickers from the peanut gallery.

In high school, my middle-class angst was best expressed through my love of gangsta rap and then college ushered in some Phish-tastic times. It really wasn’t until I graduated college and started interning at Alternative Press that I forged down the musical path that led me to emo wonderment. I read a small blurb in AP that compared some then-unknown band called Dashboard Confessional to one of my personal faves Elliott Smith. The name-check alone was reason enough for me to catch a show and my life was forever changed. True story.

How did you wiggle way into the total top dog posish in this music scene of the EEM variety? Discuss yr up and up path.

Like I said, I started on the lowest rung of the totem pole at Alternative Press as a timid intern. I would organize press photos, send out back issues and clean the cat box. (Freals. The office cat’s name was Ogre and towards the end of his life, he lost control of his bowels, among other things. Yeah, awesome.) Howev, I was never content to be a glorified secretary—and I made this known to the editorial staff from the jump. I honestly pitched ideas—some bad, some terrible and some pretty okay—to editor in chief Jason Pettigrew until he gave me a shot at writing something for the magazine. I still remember the piece. It was a full-page lead Low Profile on the nu-metal band Adema. I thought they were completely awful but I earned my first real byline for the piece. From that moment on, there was no stopping me!

Did you ever expect EEM to become as prevalent as it did when we were all young and first getting wrapped up in it? I sure didnt!

I wished and hoped but never expected anything. When I first started at the magazine, bands like Coal Chamber and Disturbed were still on the cover, so I was desperate for something, anything else to look at on a daily basis. (See, where I sat in the front office, there were huge snipes of all these covers. I believe Marilyn Manson with a spike through his eye was positioned right across from my desk. Nightmares, anyone?) When the magazine finally gave a chance to bands like AFI and Saves The Day—and received such glowing feedback—I knew we were on to something special and things would never be the same again.

At what point didja realize that you we’re heading fer full-on tastemaker superstatus?

I don’t know if I’d call myself a tastemaker, but I’ll let you throw around the title! When I hear a new band and start to get butterflies in my belly, I know I’m on to something. I remember where I was, what I was wearing, who I was with and the reaction I had the first time I heard bands like My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, Brand New, The All American Rejects and Panic At The Disco. Does every band I crush on reach superstatus? Hell to the no. Honestly, I love what I love and I’ve never been apologetic about it. However, when all of the bands who were rocking my world ended up scoring high marks by fans in the rest of the scene, I knew I could always trust my gut.

Do you ever get feedback from young girls telling you that yr an inspiration to them? IS THERE ANY BETTER A FEELING? If you had any advices for young girls wanting to get into musics journalism and general tomfoolery, what wouldja say?

Honestly, it still blows my mind that anyone reads the stuff I write. Seriously. But when a girl emails me or comes up to me at a show and says that they want to do what I do, I’m beyond flattered and stoked. There’s no reason why they can’t do it. The best advice I could give is to write until your fingers fall off. Find what you’re passionate about—whether it’s film, fashion, or music—and go to town! Write, write, write and when you’re tired of writing, write some more. That’s really the only way you’ll ever be a writer. Plus, with the prevalence of blogs, vlogs and various other forms of digital media, there’s no excuse for not working on your craft until it’s up to par.

In Wish You Were Here, you are still kicking out the whipsmart yet super informative style that you honed in yr first book. This is what part of the many things that make you so special as an author. I can only imagine this Calling It Like You See It steez occasionally brings in the potential fer face to face controversy during round town book-subject run-ins. Any good tales?

Oof! Actually, I just ran into Taking Back Sunday’s Adam Lazzarra the other night and totes cornered him to talk about music. The conversation ended up turning in the emo direction and I got a lil’ nervous that he was going to rip me a new one about some of the things I said about him in the book, which broached the topic of his Eisley ex-fiance. I’m still waiting to send him a copy but he seemed mostly concerned with the artistic rendering of him. “Did you draw me fat,” he questioned, in all seriousness. “No,” I laughed. “It’s a skinny you, circa 2004.” He loosened up from there and said as long as he was captured 40 pounds ago, things were all good with him. Classic!

–Q+A SPEED ROUND, 2–

Did you get to travel alot for the writing of the book?

Let’s just say I logged thousands of miles on the information super highway.

What boy in yr newest book would you most like to:

-Have a member of yr weekly ladies book club? Death Cab For Cutie’s Ben Gibbard

-Shop for new fashions with? The MisShapes’ Geordon Nicol

-Plant an award winning deathsmooch on? I’d rewrite the book to include Robert Pattinson if it meant I could lock lips with his British mug.

What girl in yr book would you most like to:

-Write an acoustic jam with? (To be performed live!) She & Him’s Zooey Deschanel (31CL: Word to that!)

-Eat a dinner made up only cupcakes with? Julia Allison

-Assign to be yr full-on fitness regime partner in crime? Rilo Kiley’s Jenny Lewis

-I EFFING LOVE THE GASLIGHT ANTHEM! Do you? If not, WHY!?

Meh. I liked them the first time around when they were called Against Me!.

-Kickin out any more books on musics in yr immediate future?

I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill you—and then who would I talk to about my unhealthy love for the Jonas Brothers?

Do you like us girls over here at 31 Corn Lane HQ? WE LIKE YOU TEN TONZ.

I think that goes without saying. I love you as big as the sky!!

Love yr guts xoxoxoxoxo
TEET

*****

(Unsolicited Editors Note That Hopefully Won’t Make Her Sore: she is crazy bonkers pretty so if yr a non stoops late 20-something ((and not a stitch younger! lessons have been learned!)) dude sasspants itching for a rdik smart lady partner in crime, e-mail us and we will make certain it gets into her grubby little mitts!)

Hi hello!

We’ll be cracking some cold frostie ones in McCarren Park, BK this weekend at the Renegade Craft Fair — wontcha come join us? Two out of 3 sisters and possibly some tuffskin Sperber pals will be kicking it in Booth 141, chit-chatting about musics and fashions and oversnacking on all things carbohydratey.

All bags will be totally priced to move and when we say move, we mean BOOGIE away from the booth. And when we say boogie we mean, like, LIGHTNING FAST BOOGIE. $15 and below!

See all y’all at the Park!

Sperber Pony Gang

Come visit us this Saturday on Cookman Avenue in downtown Asbury Park at the Tri-City Arts Tour! We’ll be doing some major wares hawkin’ with tons of other talented local artists and crafters. There’s gonna be a giant stage in the street for musics, fire eaters and hula hoopers, natch! Ana Copacabana will be playing Metallica covers on her Xylophone and the Hungry Marching Band from our own BK, NY will be providing tune-age and tomfoolery for the occasion as well. If you’ve ever been curious about kicking it on a sunny weekend at the Jersey Shore - now is SO the time to fire up the ZipCar and get there.
We arrive at 10:30 fun starts at 12:00! We’ll be looking fer yr precious face and flaxen hair!

(Additionally and apropos of nothing, the Gaslight Anthem show at the Stone Pony last weekend was the best display of live rock musics showmanships ever of all time x10 x10 in the history of live rock musics shownmanships. Thank you, that is all.)

xoxo, 31CL

A three-year-old Shetland pony named “Alfie” had a loneliness problem.

His owner, Sharon Sutherland said that the little pony started accompanying her to the pub three months ago after he started squealing when he was left alone in his pen.

Almost every day, he makes his way to the village pub in Woodmansterne, Surrey, England for a glass of Guinness and cheese crisps.

“He hates being alone so, if I go to the pub, he has to come, too,” Sutherland said.

‘There was a sign saying dogs weren’t allowed in, but it didn’t mention ponies,’ she said.

And though patrons at the pub were a bit surprised to see a horse in the place, he is now a welcome customer.

Landlord Matthew Lowe said: ‘I was a bit surprised but he’s a lovely horse and doesn’t cause any problems.’

]]> http://www.31cornlane.com/2009/04/pony-up/feed/ http://www.31cornlane.com/2009/03/gaslight-anthem-helps-us-leave-the-house-on-purpose/ http://www.31cornlane.com/2009/03/gaslight-anthem-helps-us-leave-the-house-on-purpose/#comments Sun, 29 Mar 2009 21:26:38 +0000 admin http://www.31cornlane.com/?p=374

Last Friday at Webster Hall, one of the city's half-most grossest venues that
ever once grossed (wif LI inspired bump-n-grind night clubbin' GOING OFF in the
basement while indiepunk toe tappin' OOZES THROUGHOUT the ginormo space
upstairs) the Dirty Jerz Band to Effing Obsess Over Of The '09, (DJBTEOOOT'09) THE
GASLIGHT ANTHEM, shimmied to and fro on stage, doin' The Garden State real proud-like.
Unusual x10 x10, Sperbers Sisters were there in full-effect! Trufe is, we haven't
gone to a rock show in 50-11 years. We're size small to medium lazey and
maje looped out of the modern good musics loop.

Sis Teet, Sis Aim and her man MattOwens (flash pioneer, sup) hoofed it to the
cheeze factory, all intentional-like, to watch these 4 babydudes/grown ass men
bring the rock. And to name-check it as the Most Superfun Fireball of Great
Musics and Tomfoolery (MSFOGMAT) would be an EGREGIOUS UNDERSTATEMENT!
Kids were going five-stars style BONX: climbing on each others heads, punching strangers,
belting lyrixes, shimmying thru early 90's style circle pitz and sneaking Bud
Light sippers. It was as if the majority of NJ's teen population had lied to
Mom-n-Dad and then secretly jammed outta their suburban palacial estates to see the
show; all under the guise of studying fer that ginormo Algebra II exam wif Aaron
and Brad. (Even though anyone paying close attention would know that Aaron and
Brad are both totes in Calculus, what gives!)

I mean, let's git down to brass tacks here people - THESE CHAPS TOTES KILLED IT!
They play this tuff-to-describe hybrid of soulful old regime rock (sup,
TomReplacementsWait) smooshed together wif the bestest parts of ruff-around-the-edgery
Jersey Shore frazzlepunk. Apparently they git semi-bummed when peeps incessantly mention
Bruce Springsteen while describing their band so we won't even ever once do that (cepta we
totes just did oops!) Long and short (and long) of it is this - the musics world
at large is lucky to have the Gaslight Anthem as a part of it, even if their name is
the 100% Bizzaro Lateral Swing Manifestation of the Already Established
Streetlight Manifesto (BLSMOTAESM).

So, not only did we actually on purposely leave BK at night but we bopped our
faces off, burned calories, insta-unburned those very same calories by guzzling Miller High
Life (Champagne of Beers, don't step!) but we also, fer the first time in a dog's age, felted hugely
inspired by musics again. Brian Fallon, grizzley voiced frontman, who fer a short stint lived
in our fantasy dreamscape hometown, explains our sisterly sentimentz most best when he
scraps it up singing: "This town pulls my heartstrings, I'm in love with the Shrewsbury stars."
Sup, Monmouth County (07701!) Born Genius (SMCBG).
Be our pal already.

In summing up, BELIEVE IT! 

In additionally summing up, KTHXAWSM.

In additionally additionally summing up, we totes can't believe Whitney Port and Jay Lyon
(code name: Australian Justin Bobby) broke up. Dude is so super cute!

Sidenote: OMG, did anyone see Gossip Girl tonight?