365 Days of The Fast and the Furious

Suicide

2011-10-05T21:03:00.001-07:00

Yes, I know this is a blog about The Fast and The Furious. But it's also a blog about me. And I want to share some thoughts I had tonight about suicide, which as many of you know is something that is often on my mind. So here goes:

We all make decisions with our guts. Sure, we like to think we use all our faculties and resources to choose the correct path, but sometimes that doesn't work and we're overridden by gut instinct.

My gut tells me I should kill myself. I can't explain why it does that -- why, in fact, it wants me to cease to be -- but that's the way it is. For me, it's a fact of life. It's been an impulse that I've had for as long as I can remember.

In the past, I've been told that there's no reason for my gut to say that, and that I could make it stop if I tried hard enough. More recently, I've been told this gut instinct is a medical condition that can be treated with the right pills and counseling.

Sometimes, I wonder about that.

I really shouldn't, because it's painful. When I try to be very honest with myself, my self-destructive gut goes to work, telling me that I am, in fact, a loser, that nobody really need what I have to offer the world, that anything I can do somebody else can do better. And I can't help but listen, because I'm trying to be honest with myself.

Trying to sift through the inaccurate gut thoughts is impossible on my own and next to impossible with the help of others. I have become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Maybe if I didn't bother others with my nonsense about suicide, if I didn't tie that emotional weight around their necks, my existence would be worth something. But I do bother them with this impossible topic, and so I am worthless, and their lives would ultimately be richer if they didn't have to worry about me.

That's what my gut tells me. My friends tell me that's not true, that they love me and they want me around, bad gut and all. But that bad gut never shuts up, and it's says they are lying to me, that they're hiding their true thoughts the way I so often do.

I can't trust myself, but I must trust myself. How else am I going to progress as a person if I can't even be honest with myself?

The truth is I don't know how to be honest with myself. No matter what thought enters my mind, my gut intercepts it and twists it into something intended to achieve its dark ends. My medication is supposed to keep that from happening, but it's not working yet, and so the battle continues.

I don't know how this story ends. Someday I might finally kill myself, and no one would be too surprised if I do. Or maybe I won't. Maybe I'll wage this war my whole life. Maybe the medication will work and this problem will go away. I don't know, and my gut won't let me be too optimistic. My gut says that I will eventually give in and end my own life. Stay tuned.

Day 2: Boobs

2011-10-05T20:31:00.001-07:00

Here is a nice screenshot from The Fast and the Furious. I don't doubt I've shared this before, but it really stuck with me when I was watching the movie today:

Day 1: Fast Five release party

2011-10-04T23:09:00.000-07:00

Here in Tuscaloosa at the MovieStop we had a massive Fast Five release party on Monday night. Tons of people showed up, and many of them brought their badass cars to show off. There was a mob in the parking lot looking at car engines, and it was basically exactly like that any scenes from the movies that take place right before a street race.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to take pictures, because I was drunk and had run down the battery on my phone by texting a girl who doesn't like me. But, believe me, it was epic. Adding to the epicness is that they only charged me the DVD price for the blu-ray. Thanks, MovieStop!

OK, so today I watched Fast Five, and it's as brilliant as I remembered, and I let go of my main complaint about the movie -- that it's missing a good driving sequence in the middle -- and accepted that as a heist movie it doesn't need it.

Believe it or not, this was only my second viewing of Fast Five. The movie came out during a dark fucking period, as Dewey Cox would say, as it hit theaters two days after that tornado ripped through town, and I only got out to see it the one time. But that's OK, because I'll more than make up for it over the next year.

Let's reflect on my favorite moment in the film for a second. Said moment comes when the whole heist team gets together for the first time and Paul Walker introduces Vin Diesel to Tyrese. The two guys kinda stare each other down and don't shake hands, and you can just feel the jealousy radiating off the two of them, both being Paul Walker's former lovers after all. I watched that scene over and over and laughed every time. It'll never get old. Or at least I hope it doesn't.

This Ain't No Ten-Second Race

2011-09-23T10:08:00.000-07:00

Shawn: You know this ain't no 10-second race.

Dominic: I've got nothin' but time.

Indeed. Let's try this again.

Mark 10/4/11 down on your calendar.

Day 3: Small boobs vs. big boobs

2010-10-14T22:53:00.000-07:00

There's a part in Tokyo Drift where Han makes Lucas Black go fetch some money from "a guy with a paw." Lucas Black then kicks his ass kicked. The reason for this is that Lucas Black's fresh fresh virgin boobies with those bright pink hairless nipples had never before seen the light of day...

...and when he had to go up against these wondrous constructs...

...well, I think anybody could have seen that ass-kicking coming.

Day 2: John Singleton hates the soul patch

2010-10-13T21:54:00.000-07:00

Anybody with any sense should have the soul patch. There are some exceptions, of course. Tim Hudson, for example, can grow his facial hair any way he wants if he's gonna throw the way he did this year. But most folks wear the soul patch only so everyone will know immediately how much of a flaming douche they are.

Like any person with sense, John Singleton recognizes this, and he put this guy in 2 FAST 2 FURIOUS:

This guy has no lines, and he drives a goddamn Mustang. Naturally, then, Singleton has this guy be the only character in the entire movie who definitely dies.* Check this out.

Good times.

*It is possible that other characters die, but if that's the case, they died offscreen or it wasn't conclusive that they were, in fact, dead. This guy is fucking dead.

Day 1: What the fuck is Dope?

2010-10-11T14:56:00.000-07:00

Rob Cohen: You know what this movie needs? Fucking Dragula, that's what. Twisted Metal 4 was the shit.

Accountant: We don't have enough song licensing money left for that.

Rob Cohen: Shit.

Accountant: You spent most of the money on that Limp Bizkit track.

Rob Cohen: Rob Zombie and Limp Bizkit are the only artists who really captures the mood of the kind of white mid-90s douchebags who like to wear blank $5 basketball jerseys from Wal-Mart. That's our target audience, remember.

Accountant: I'm the accountant. I just count the money.

Rob Cohen: Where the fuck is Neal? Neal would totally be OK with this if he knew about this dilemma.

Accountant: Um, Neal is dead.

Rob Cohen: Really? Huh.

And that's the story of how Debonaire by Dope ended up in THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS.

Bringin' it back

2010-10-07T10:33:00.000-07:00

I've had a couple weird moments in the last few weeks since I've been absent from this blog. First, I went to a party, and everyone there knew me as the guy who had that FAST AND FURIOUS blog. Then, I was watching Bama nuke the city of Gainsville on Saturday, and Gary Danielson called the unstoppable runningback tandem of Mark Ingram and Trent Richardson "the Fast and the Furious." And then I went to see The Social Network, and I felt bad for not doing anything to advance humanity.

And then I remembered this blog. This will be my Facebook.

Starting Monday, the 365 Days of THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS will begin again, starting at Day One. I will plunge ahead despite all my other obligations and my crippling depression, because maybe, just maybe, this is the cure for all my problems. We'll all find out together, I s'pose.

I Give Up

2010-08-25T22:14:00.000-07:00

When I started this little project, circumstances were ideal for success. I sat at home all day and had plenty of spare time. And then, a week ago, I started a second job. And school started. And then I didn't have spare time.

So I give up. It wasn't that it was difficult to watch the movies themselves. No, it was being obligated to put out quality blog posts about them every day; I couldn't deal with the pressure to do this well, and so it wasn't fun at all.

I haven't decided if I'm going to keep watching the movies anyway. I haven't in two days, and I miss it, shockingly. So I'm leaning toward starting this project over, but retooling it somehow to make the whole thing work for me. I'll let you know.

I'm a little behind...

2010-08-20T06:52:00.000-07:00

Guys, sometimes real life comes callin', and you gotta answer that shit or it just won't leave you alone. That happened this week, so I'm a little behind on updates. I have been watching the things and giving myself topics, but I haven't found the time to write them up yet. Keep your eyes open.

Day 14: This Bro...

2010-08-18T19:45:00.000-07:00

I decided to turn this "goofy extra" thing into a thing, because when I was watching 2 FAST 2 FURIOUS I noticed this one hilarious-looking and wildly out-of-place dude that I just had to point out to everyone. This bro has less than one second of screen time, and it comes when the cops arrive after the race at the beginning of the movie. Enjoy; the bro in question is the blondie on the left side of the frame:

Oh boy. I think that speaks for itself.

Oh, and now that I've figured out how to make animated GIFs, you'll be getting a lot more of them. Yay!

Day 13: Almost Had Me?

2010-08-16T22:40:00.000-07:00

When I lived in LA, I'd see famous people around sometimes. One time, I went to the movies on a Sunday morning, and I discovered that Keanu Reeves was sitting in the row in front of me. It was soooooo awesome, even though I hadn't started writing this blog and he didn't know yet who I was. We even made eye contact as we left the theater, and I immediately called all my friends to tell them about my amazing day.

So there's this one bro in the background of one shot in THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS, and he's basically me before this blog brought me a bunch of bags of poon.

We encounter this bro in the crowd when Vin Diesel is telling Paul Walker what a fucking tool he is after they race for the first time. Master Diesel looks over at him and is like, "Almost had me question mark"

Not realizing that Master Diesel was just putting on a show because he was way excited that somebody was actually looking at him, the bro tried to actually answer the question. He starts waving his arms wildly and says something like, "I don't know, man. I don't know hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha." And then Vinny walks right on by.

But the man keeps on smiling hilariously, and he giggles to himself, and later that night he blogs about how he and super hunk Vin Diesel made eye contact. I feel you, bruh. I feel you. You're just one awesome blog about a gay-oriented action movie franchise away from being awesome. But until that day arrives, treasure these moments.

Day 12: You're a Lucky Man

2010-08-15T20:20:00.000-07:00

Vin Diesel never really looks happy in these movies. He's plays more of a brooding, troubled baaaaaaaaaaaaaad son of a bitch whose mood goes mostly back and forth between perfectly level to angry as fuck. And in FAST AND FURIOUS, because he's dealing with Michelle Rodriguez's death, his default face is something like this:

That ain't a very happy bro right there. It hurts me to see him with so much more internal misery than usual, so when he has a very brief moment of levity in a club belonging to his new mortal enemy, I teared up a bit.

So Vin and Paul Walker are drinkin' and chillin' with evil villain bro Campos, and Vin and Paul are talkin' shit to each other, and Campos is like, "You bitches know each other?" And Vin's like, "Uh, yeah, bruh, he fucked my sister."

Campos responds with, "You're a lucky bro, Paul Walker," which confuses Mr. Paul, and he asks why he's lucky, so Campos explains his line of thought: "You're still breathing."

Vin! I can see genuine joy on your face, just like in the old days! Loooooooooove yoooooouuuuuuu.

I skipped yesterday because I was drankin'

2010-08-15T20:12:00.001-07:00

One of my old bros came to town yesterday, so I ended up spending most of the day drinking beer and whiskey and some blue curacao somebody gave me. This led to me being drunk and not watching THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS. My B. Day 12 is forthcoming, however.

Day 11: how come i never c u drift ???

2010-08-13T15:25:00.000-07:00

The subject of this post is one sentence Lucas Black types at Neela in some sort of instant messenger program. It is important to note that, in this movie, Lucas Black does not own a computer of his own, and since he's from Alabama, has probably just recently learned how to use one:

I guess we can all be thankful that Justin Lin and co. didn't go all the way and have him write "cum" instead of "come," at least. But Jesus fucking Christ. I hate everyone involved with putting that shot on my screen.

Day 10: I Hit a Wall Doin' Like a Buck Twenty

2010-08-13T11:00:00.000-07:00

I've never been in any sort of really exciting car wreck, though I have had some close calls, such as when I swerved out of the way of a fucking elk in Wyoming while I was going 80 mph and almost got completely smashed by a Wal-Mart big rig. Or when I had a bunch of shit on my windshield on the other side of Wyoming and then the sun hit it straight on, blinding me, and I almost drove off a cliff. That would have been something. And I would have been dead as hell in both examples had I not exhibited brilliant driving skills.

The 2 FAST 2 FURIOUS version of Ludacris, on the other hand, got himself into one of those bad situations (all this is before the events of the movie), did not exhibit driving skills awesome enough to get out of it and then drove straight into a wall at 120 mph. We discover this when Tyrese asks him if he races, and Luda is just like, "nah man."

Meanwhile, Ludacris has no limp or horrible scars or significantly lowered brain function (apparently?), and he may or may not do PSAs about reckless driving (probably not). I guess it's possible he just drove through the wall and it was actually totally fucking awesome, but the way Luda's tone of voice changes to being more morose than we've ever heard him (ever so slightly morose) makes me think that "hit a wall" means "hit a wall."

I think he's lying. I only know of one example of somebody driving into a solid, uncrunchable object at 100 mph, and that collision resulted in what I only know how to describe as a really bad case of exploded face. Here's what the car looked like post-op in this example.

It would be very fucked up of me to post a pic of what the girl driving that former car looks like after the wreck destroyed her head, so you'll have to go to this link to see it. (Seriously, don't click that because it's fucking horrible.)

Since this is the only actual-for-realzies story I know of that's about like what happened to my bro Luda, I assume it's impossible to do what he did while keeping your face. Of course, it's important to also note that apparently his penis no longer works (Luda: "When are you gonna pop my clutch?" Devon Aoki: "As soon as you get the right set of tools. And a penis that works."), so perhaps he just exaggerated how fast he was going to make up for his manly embarrassment over having to use a penis pump.

Day 9: The Internet

2010-08-11T20:52:00.000-07:00

Have you ever seen THE NET? It's a mid-90s "cyberthriller" starring Sandra Bullock about how anybody can use the internet to do anything they want. It's a fucking awesome movie. (Remember, my taste is suspect; I voluntarily watch a FAST AND THE FURIOUS movie every day.)

There are a lot of "oh wow the internet" movies that came out in the 90s, and even flicks that weren't about the internet would inevitably have characters that made references to this new internet shit, just because it was the big new pop culture thing.

Like in all facets of entertainment, trends die hard. And so in the summer of 2001, THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS arrived, and in the film, Vin Diesel proudly proclaims to Paul Walker that he found his criminal record on the internet, because "you can find anything on the internet -- anything about anybody."

He says this in a movie geared toward teenage bros who'd been jacking off to pictures of lesbians on the internet for at least a couple years. In fact, from the perspective of the old motherfuckers running the movie studios, most of the target audience (young people) are the bad guys, or will be the bad guys, because they understand that ridiculous computer mumbo jumbo that the old bros don't.

I have completely forgotten where I was going with this -- because I tried to write this while watching 2 FAST 2 FURIOUS and something in my brain broke -- so I'm just gonna show you folks some pictures of Vin Diesel's face photoshopped onto some women's bodies. I found these on the internet (aha!), and so technically I'm still on topic.

Day 8: Ladies Making Out With Each Other, and Other Things

2010-08-11T07:33:00.000-07:00

Justin Lin pulls a pretty awesome trick at the beginning of FAST AND FURIOUS. He shows the title and then quick cuts back and forth between it and this shot:

And so now, every time I think of this movie, that image pops into my head. Well played, Justin Lin.

So, I did feel pretty guilty about my meat-like treatment of ladies this weekend, but I have to finish what I started, so as the title says, here's some pictures of ladies making out with each other, and other things, from FAST AND FURIOUS.

Who the fuck is that disgusting-looking bro there on the right in that last shot? Sheesh. I never noticed that guy before.

And I'll end with this shot of Jordana Brewster, who looks even better in 2009 than she did in 2010.

That concludes my misogynistic coverage of this franchise. I'm happy to get that out of the way early.

Day 7: This Post Is 100% Misogyny

2010-08-09T18:44:00.000-07:00

Even if you ignored Tyrese's statement near the beginning of the movie about needing Paul Walker's ass as a slip of the tongue, this scene, in which Tyrese takes off his shirt for no reason in order to show us all his toned and incredibly attractive torso, really drives home how gay this movie is.

John Singleton knew coming it that it would be like this, and so he also knew he had to do a better job of showing off some hot ladies than Rob Cohen did in the first movie. And he really, really tried, though we still ended up with this:

This silly-looking lady with the ridiculous hair shows up several times in the movie as part of Devon Aoki's entourage. But that's ok, because as I said in the last sentence, Devon Aoki is in this movie, and she is always wearing something insane. Like this:

That's hot as fuck. Also, there's this awesome thing Eva Mendes wears at the beginning of the movie.

Generally, Singleton did a pretty good job of gathering together a collection of ladies that are nice to look at. Here's the first pair of womens you get a good look at:

And here is Tyrese's "hoasis":

This is easily the most guilty I have ever felt about something I wrote. I blame the Braves for how this turned out, considering I wrote most of it during the six-run inning they gave up to the goddamn Astros tonight. Also, I sincerely apologize to any women who might have read this.

Day 6: Why Do We Watch These Movies?

2010-08-08T20:27:00.000-07:00

Well, why do we? I can't speak for anyone but myself, so that's all I'm gonna do here. I watch THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS saga for two things: the ridiculous eye candy and the gay subtext/text. Justin Lin understands this completely, and so we he took control of the franchise on TOKY DRIFT he went all out on the eye candy, throwing it at you at every opportunity.

(Yes, I skipped 2 FAST 2 FURIOUS. Some bros came over to drink last night, and they had already watched that one with me earlier in the week. So we watched TOKYO DRIFT instead. I'll come back to 2 FAST tomorrow.)

Here is the first shot in TOKYO DRIFT of a woman with a speaking part:

Sure, it's exploitative and crass, but it's ridiculous enough to be amusing, like when Martin Lawrence gets up close and person with a naked dead girl in Bad Boys II. Once the movie moves to Japan, this continues.

One of the bros who watched the movie with me pointed out that many of the cars in the film aren't at all good for either racing or drifting; I don't know if that's true, but assuming it is, the above shot explains why the filmmakers did what they did. This movie is not about logic; rather, it's about putting the coolest looking stuff on screen at all times. This means you put a girl's ass on screen in front of what looks to me like a tricked-out engine. Eye candy.

As a bonus, here's this:

That's basically what the rest of the ladies hanging out in the background of shots look like. Yay for bros!

Day 5: Auburn Girls

2010-08-07T19:20:00.001-07:00

When you think of women in Los Angeles, you don't normally pull up, in your head, pictures of girls you'd expect to find going to school at Auburn University. And, yet, that's exactly what you get in THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS, rather than the ladies you hear Katy Perry and Snoop sing about so often these days. Here's a bunch of pictures that illustrate my point:

See what I mean? It's not that most of these girls are unattractive; they just aren't the movie-quality ladies you'd expect to find wandering around in the background of your summer action movie starring Vin Diesel. Come on, Rob Cohen, I know you can go better. I mean, Asia Argento was in XXX!

Of course, it could be said that Dr. Cohen was just trying to make his leading ladies look good in comparison. And they do, even though they aren't spectacular either. Here are shots of Michell Rodriguez and Jordana Brewster from the film.

Michelle Rodriquez looks as good as she ever does, and Jordana Brewster just looks funky with her hair like that and with those untrimmed eyebrows. She certainly cleans up better in the fourth film.

Look, I know I just look like an internet nerd talking shit about women I could never get in real life. And that may be true. But as you'll see over the next few days, the visual quality of the ladies increases pretty significantly in the second film, and then it shoots through the fucking roof for the third and fourth films.

I had more to say, but beer just arrived. I'm out.

The Ladies of THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS

2010-08-07T10:00:00.000-07:00

One of the things I always notice when I watch THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS movies is the massive discrepancy in the quality of ladies on display between the first two films and the Justin Lin entries in the series. And so Days 5 through 8 will be dedicated to taking a closer look at what each film is offering, and I'll recap it all at the end. Enjoy.

Day 4: A Vision of My Future

2010-08-06T08:16:00.000-07:00

Thought it's certainly a lot of fun to make "get off my lawn" jokes about old dudes, have you ever wondered, perhaps, why these old dudes do little else but yell at kids who have dadgummed boom boxes? To understand, you'll need to see the world through their eyes for a change.

I was able to do this yesterday. It's hard to say exactly what happened to my brain that caused my perspective to shift so radically. My guess is that it's because I spent two hours looking at pictures of girls dressed up as Tifa Lockheart from Final Fantasy VII before I watched the movie. I got really upset in those two hours, because nobody but well known Japanese models seemed to be able to pull it off, and yet I kept looking at all these pictures of hunchbacked white girls in poorly made costumes. Also, kids were playing on my porch all day.

What this all adds up to, then, is that when I started FAST AND FURIOUS rolling, I was like, "Hot young females flaunting their shit and making out with each other! Car moving way faster than could ever be considered safe! Bright colors! Nipples poking through a tank top! I can't process this!"

Normally, all these things would thrill me. I'd be all like, "Yeah, bruh, Vin Diesel just made that giant fiery gas tank his BITCH!" But instead, because I was looking at it through the eyes of an old bro, it just felt like somebody was trying to murder me. Here's the best way I know to describe it, being from a place where all the white people are racist:

Imagine you're a racist female teenager, and a 6'6" black guy is sprinting at you, and he's got a gun in his hand. You'd be pretty scared, and you'd probably scream about how black people are awful and subhuman. It doesn't matter that he's actually 5'10", not running and not holding a gun, because your brain is racist, and all you can think when you see the dude is OH MY GOD HE WANTS TO STEAL ALL MY SHIT.

And when I watched FAST AND FURIOUS while my brain was emulating a old brain, I was just like, "Nah, this ain't really happenin'. this is just some young people bullshit that I don't understand because rabble rabble." And then I just wanted to drink some old people liquor like scotch or something to make it all go away. It was a horrifying and yet very enlightening experience.

What did I learn from this, now that I have returned to the land of young people? I learned that if I survive to old age and then no longer enjoy fast and furious motion pictures, I should just kill myself. Because a world in which THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS isn't awesome is not a world I wanna live in. A profound lesson indeed, I'd say.

Day 3: Racial Harmony

2010-08-04T23:30:00.000-07:00

Growing up in Alabama is weird. There's a lot of racism, and there's also a lot of black people. I was fortunate enough to be raised in an adamantly non-racist household, and so legitimate racism, once I encountered it, was as alien an idea as thinking that the act of eating will kill you.

At the same time, growing up in the South makes you very aware of racial issues, just because of all the history of prejudice in the region and because everybody outside the South thinks all the white folks down here are racist.

Watching THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS: TOKYO DRIFT through those eyes, then, is quite intriguing. Here we have a summer movie about a white redneck, a black dude, a girl from Australia, a Korean-American and a bunch of Japanese people.

Compare that to Inception, the current summer "it" movie. That movie has a bunch of white people and Dileep Rao, the American son of Indian immigrants. Yes, that's just one example, but it's also the norm.

The fact that the cast of TOKYO DRIFT is ethnically diverse is not why I find it enthralling -- the driving sequences are the best of the series -- but it's just a nice thing to note. This is what colorblind casting looks like, and it's a very pleasant sight.

OK, so I didn't have any jokes to make tonight, and I'm sooooooooooo soooooooooo sorry. My bad. I'll correct that tomorrow, I promise.

Day 2: Paul Walker vs. Eva Mendes vs. Tyrese

2010-08-03T14:01:00.000-07:00

I was recently in a weird situation with a girl. We were each doing our own thing, basically not existing in each other's world --- as I was in California and she was in Alabama -- except for when we would talk to each other about goings on. As I said, it got kinda weird, because we got into each other's emotional shit, and, to me, once I moved back to Alabama, our relationship was ill-defined, and I didn't know where it was going. The relationship between Paul Walker and Eva Mendes in 2 FAST 2 FURIOUS is like that.

The plot of 2 FAST 2 FURIOUS provides no easy way for Paul Walker to have a love interest, but at some point -- I assume very late in pre-production -- a Universal exec saw what John Singleton and co. were planning for the movie and was like, "Hey, we need somebody for Paul Walker to make out with!" So then Eva Mendes was brought in to be the undercover Customs agent, but they still didn't really put in a romantic subplot.

Paul Walker and Eva Mendes are on screen with each on six occasions during the movie, and at no point do they talk about anything but this cop mission they're on. The fifth time they share the screen, Mendes is all sweaty and, presumably, smelly from running across Miami, and she warns him that his life is in danger, and then she kisses him.

The next time they see each other is at the end of the movie, after all the shit is over. They say hey and shake hands and kinda look at each other sweetly, and then Mendes leaves with the FBI hoss and the movie ends.

Er, hello? What the fuck is this? Here's my guess: Paul Walker and Tyrese dated back in Barstow when they were younger. Then Paul Walker meets this very attractive lady at the beginning of the movie, and he wants that shit. But, shortly thereafter, he reunites with Tyrese, and their flame is rekindled. Paul Walker is confused. He really wants this hot piece of strange he just met, but he also feels too loyal to Tyrese to make a move. Eva Mendes kisses him later because she doesn't know about all this gay subtext. In the end, Paul Walker chooses Tyrese.

Sounds about right.