3 Bedroom Bungalow to Let in Crazytown

Dear So and So...No Clever Title

noreply@blogger.com (Kat) — Fri, 25 May 2012 07:00:00 +0000

Dear Readers,

You know what is good about a spectacularly crap week? It really gives you perspective on the world. I have seen the best of people with their outpouring of support for me in my time of need and I have seen pure deceit and underhandedness from someone I thought was an alright person. I mean she wasn't an amazingly good person, nor was she a person I would avoid, but I will be now. Hindsight being twenty twenty and all that.

I guess you have to take the good with the bad and roll with the punches of life, but this week just seemed to blindside me. My soul is a bit battered right now. I'm not just a "bit sad" about my cat dying. My heart literally feels like it is going to burst out of my chest and I get a big lump in my throat when I remember little things about him. I keep expect to see him greet me in the morning by jumping up onto the sink for his morning drink of water. It is hell.

The utter rage (not an emotion I am very familiar with) I felt at the other person, well, unfortunately that is something I can't and won't blog about. Even though I REALLY want to shout at the top of my lungs and write the meanest, nastiest, most spiteful rant ever published in the history of rants. Seriously, I would be filibustering my own blog. I really do hope karma exists and that someone really craps on this persons parade one day.

Anyways, yes, life it can suck. Right now it really sucks. It will get better though. It will get better because I have an amazing family and friends and people who love me for me. I have people who will stand behind me and support me when I don't know if I can cope. Everything will work out for the best and tomorrow is another day to try to make perfect. And with a little luck, support, and this brilliant sunshine we are having at the moment, anything is possible.

Love, Kat
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If you have any of you own letters please link up.

For Sam Kitty

noreply@blogger.com (Kat) — Wed, 23 May 2012 16:33:00 +0000

It's amazing how the mind works. How it protects you until what needs to be done is done. All feeling goes. You get it together and you get done what needs to be done. Then your brain gives you permission to break down.

So I did.

RIP Sam Kitty. Blast those damn cars. Blast that damn road. Blast my heart for loving you so much. I will miss you so much.

Dear So and So...Proving A Point

noreply@blogger.com (Kat) — Fri, 18 May 2012 08:21:00 +0000

Dear The Man,

I am so damn proud of you! MSgt in 10 years! I know I said I would be happy even if you didn't get the promotion this year. I know you said you could probably use a bit more time at your current rank. I knew you could do it though. I KNEW you could. In fact, when I used to find you asleep with your study guide for the test, I knew it was probably not a big deal. You know how I knew? Cause your absolutely brilliant.

Love You, Kat
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For Those Who Aren't Military Types,

Making Master Sergeant in the US Air Force under 10 years is like being the Bobby Fischer of the Air Force. It isn't done very often. It is freakin' amazing.

Love, Kat
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Dear Student Loans,

Do you know every time I pay you I feel a bit ill. What's worse is I was talking to someone here in the UK and out of curiosity they asked me how much I pay each month...it was more than her mortgage.

Just Sayin', Kat
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Dear Student Loans (again),

Do you want to know the worst part? I only went back to school to prove a point to myself. I knew I was smart, but I needed that damn piece of paper to prove I wasn't a quitter- even though I had a 3 year old and a 6 month old baby at the time. Now me would kick then me's ass.

Once Again Just Sayin' Kat
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Dear KiKi,

This thing you are doing lately where you completely lose your temper and lash out to get your point across. Yeah, that's not cool. In fact, it will land you in time out for extended amounts of time with me completely blanking you until you calm down. That doesn't sound like a lot of fun does it? So maybe you can figure out how to express yourself other than raging at the people nearest you, mmkay?

Love, Mom- Keeper of Time Out
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Dear Readers,

If you have your own letters, please link up! Have a safe and wonderful weekend. Remember, don't run with scissors and no, we aren't there yet.

Love, Kat
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Organically Growing Your Audience

noreply@blogger.com (Kat) — Wed, 16 May 2012 20:49:00 +0000

I suppose all bloggers by nature, even if they are introverts in person, are people who want to be noticed. We're all metaphorically screaming with our posts "Look at me! Aren't I the greatest. Aren't I special? Don't you LOVE me? My opinion is important, dammit!", and that is just those of us who aren't the middle child in our families. I have never met a blogger who doesn't want their posts read.

I thought maybe since I have been doing this blogging thing for a while I might be able to help other bloggers increase their readership without resorting to any fancy blogging techniques. Lord knows, I don't know any of those. Also, I know I am breaking a blogging rule by blogging about blogging. Didn't you know, blogging is like Fight Club?

The first rule of Fight Club is that you don't talk about Fight Club....

Anyhoo... Here are some of the things I have done over the years...

When I first started blogging, I found a group of bloggers that commented on each others blogs. This wasn't like a special organized group mind you. It was just a small group of people who were in a similar stage of blogging as me, who had children near my children's ages, and seemed sort of a natural fit for me. I left a comment. I don't mean a comment that said "LOL". I mean an engaging comment. A comment that commented about what that person was going through and then left a snippet about myself, so that maybe if they liked my comment they might come visit my blog. Guess what? It worked AND I made life long friends. Some of these friends of mine don't even blog anymore, but we are still friends through emails and Facebook. Most of them still read my blog.

Then, I started clicking on other commenters they had on their blogs. I figured if their commenters commented on their blogs, then they might be interesting too. I left comments. Good comments.

Take Capcha/Word Varification off your comments system. NOW.

For the most part I avoided blogs that had a huge established audience (like The Bloggess) when I was leaving comments. Not that I didn't comment there, I just never expected anyone to say "hey I made my way here via The Bloggess", because she is a freakin' legend. It is too easy to get lost in the comment mix over there. I leave a comment for my own satisfaction there and hope it puts a smile on her face.

I then found FeedBurner. If you don't know what FeedBurner is, google it and install it. Go ahead. Do it now. I'll wait. Enable people to read your blog through RSS and email notification. Make reading your blog as easy as possible.

The number one tip I have for building an audience is be authentic. Write in your own voice. As you are reading this, you are hearing me. You know, that American chick living in the UK. That mom who loves her kids, but also pulls her hair out when things start going off the rails. You know, that woman who loves her husband, but takes the mickey out of him at least once a day to keep him from getting too high in the instep. You are reading me and really all your readers want to read is you. An authentic you.

So go out there and read and comment. Keep plugging away. Don't stress yourself out and most importantly, do it for you. You are your most important reader.

CybHer- Ask A Blogger Geek Session (Or Why I am A Nickie O'Hara Fangirl)

noreply@blogger.com (Kat) — Mon, 14 May 2012 21:03:00 +0000

I very rarely want to get onto a table top and shout someone's praises, but this year at CybHer I might have become a Nickie O'Hara fangirl. You see, at most blogging events that I have been to everyone bangs on about Wordpress this and Wordpress that, well you know what? I don't have Wordpress. I am on Blogger. I like Blogger. I know how to use it, I've never properly broke it, and it works for me. So, when Nickie did a session on the technical side of Blogger and all the new nifty features, I was all ears.

You see, when it comes to the technical side of blogging, I'm a big ol mess. I can write a post and add a few pictures, but when it comes to the coding and all that technical stuff, well not so much. The thing I like about Blogger though is, I don't need to be. I can be as into figuring out the technical bits, or not, as I see fit. There however, are some really great new features that have been added to Blogger with the new interface and I would have completely ignored them if I hadn't gone to Nickie's session at CybHer. No, seriously, I would have just stuck my head in the sand and completely ignored all of them.

One of my favorite tricks that I learned was how to imbed a message into a photograph, so that when you hover your cursor over the photo you get a little text box with a message. I had seen this before on other blogs, but I just figured that it was entirely too hard for me to learn. I did learn how to do it though! In fact, on Sunday morning when I was barely awake I managed to post a picture and embed some text into the photo using the Title Text feature. You would have in fact called this amazing if you saw me on Sunday morning.

I also learned more about the posts and comments section of Blogger. I have waffled back and forth for a while now about if I want to change the way that posts are displayed on my blog. Mostly I have been waffling because I didn't know if I had the technical know how to make the changes I wanted on my blog on my own, or if I was going to need to beg my lovely techie friends to help me. Now, I have the confidence and the basic knowledge I need to make the changes I want. So if you see some changes at the Bungalow, don't worry, they're ~~probably~~ on purpose!

So, do you want to know the best part? If you are a Blogger blogger like me, you can find out all the same information I learned and more on Nickie's new Blog/Pet Project "Ask A Blogger Geek". You want to know the even better part? She is going to be adding new parts and you can ask her your own questions!

So, now you know why I am a Nickie O'Hara fangirl.

CybHer Weekend By The Numbers

noreply@blogger.com (Kat) — Mon, 14 May 2012 11:48:00 +0000

1 weekend.
1 tenth wedding anniversary.
1 CybHer blogging conference.
1 incident with a SatNav with no sense of direction.
1 feisty train buddy
1 foodie train buddy
1 amazing roommate
1 stomach doing flip flops
1 amazingly brave conference organizer
300 bloggers
20 amazing sessions (Seriously, I haven't even heard one complaint!)
2 trains
1 Mother's Day

times that by....

countless laughs...nay cackling
too much booze
a huge hangover
a swearing cabbie
an invisible cash point
and more stories made than can possibly be posted (and some that shouldn't be...)

equals...

An absolutely amazing weekend that I will never forget. I have walked away feeling that this community that we, bloggers, have formed can inspire, support, and cultivate creativity and friendship. Thank you, Sian for organizing CybHer. Thank you to my blogging friends- old and new- for being some of the most amazing people I have ever met. I will carry all the little moments in my heart forever.

Silent Sunday

noreply@blogger.com (Kat) — Sun, 13 May 2012 08:43:00 +0000

That's So Straight!

noreply@blogger.com (Kat) — Wed, 09 May 2012 21:39:00 +0000

"That's so gay!" is what LaLa heard in school. So, during bath time she asked me, "What's gay?"

Three of my best friends are gay, but I have never felt the need to discuss with an eight year old what "gay" meant. They are my friends, just like any of my straight friends are my friends, so it isn't exactly like I have said "oh this is my friend and they are gay" and explained it. I was a little unprepared for this conversation to say the least.

I asked her to repeat the question so I could get my thoughts straight and then answered her as honestly as I could.

"La, gay is when a man loves a man or a woman loves a woman."

"So are me and my best friend gay? Cause I love her, cause she is my best friend."

"It isn't like best friends loving each other, it's like how boyfriends and girlfriends love each other. It isn't a word to use as an insult. You can say something is silly or stupid, but gay isn't a word you should say as an insult."

"Oh, alright then. Well, this boy in my class said it."

"Well, you don't need to say it, and next time tell your teacher, OK?"

The subject was then dropped. I, however, was seething inside.

Having been around my friends when this insult has been hurled, muttered, or whispered at them- well, lets just say when I hear it now my blood boils.

It is NOT OK to call something or someone "gay" if is stupid, lame, silly, uncool, or not to your liking. It is not cute for a kid to say something is "gay", it's disgraceful.

Parenting is hard, parenting on your back foot trying to find the right words because someone else has backed you into a corner is harder. Stand up for what you believe in, don't bull shit your kids and keep it real with them. That being said, don't give them too much information, just enough for them to make correct decisions. Also, let's give them a bigger vocabulary to use so they can find some better insults.

I Should Get Paid For This Stuff

noreply@blogger.com (Kat) — Sun, 06 May 2012 21:03:00 +0000

So I was minding my business catching up on the television shows that I had missed over the past week when I heard my husband swearing- loudly. Not an unusual occurrence around here, but this time I could tell that something was seriously amiss. So, I finally figured out that my husband was swearing because the door on the washing machine was locked and would not open and his uniform was inside. No bueno. No bueno at all.

So I did my fiddle with the controls thing- turned the machine off then on, waited a second and the door opened. The uniform was completely still soaking wet and the machine was still half full of water. Odd. So I decided to run it again for another cycle to see if it had been some sort of fluke. At the end of the cycle the machine got stuck again. So I fiddled with the knobs turned it off then back on, the door came open, same result. This point The Man was completely losing his temper because the only uniform he had left to wear is filthy from last week.

Me to self- "Think, Kat! Think fast. This has happened before...kinda. Yes, I shall try to empty the filter and see if that fixes the problem. Now...how to I do that?"

I grabbed the screw drivers and pried the kick plate off. Ha! See this isn't so hard. Then I tried to open the filter and when I did water started pouring out of the washing machine. CRAP! * grabbed a bowl and started collecting the water* Only, the water kept coming, so I started yelling at Tom to get me another bowl. Second bowl started to fill up to the brim. So I dumped the first bowl and slid it under the machine and caught the rest of the water that came out of the machine. Who knew there was that much water in a washing machine. Go figure! So, I emptied the filter. By the way, at this point my husband assessed that I had no idea what I was doing and had left while water was still pouring out of the machine. Oh ye of little faith. I screwed the filter back in, reattached the kick plate and then restarted the machine.

An hour later I had one freshly washed uniform, perfectly spun out and ready to go into the dryer. I think I have retained my title of reigning domestic goddess. I still might not be able to sew, but I can fix a washing machine. Take that, Martha Stewart!

Dear So and So...Bon Voyage!!

noreply@blogger.com (Kat) — Fri, 04 May 2012 09:13:00 +0000

Dear LaLa,

So I am having a bit of a mild panic attack because of your school trip this weekend. This is the first time you will be away from home for more than one night not in the company of a family member. I trust your teachers and the camp that you are attending, but I am still freaking out. I keep running over the packing checklist and adding more items to make sure that you have everything that you could possibly need over the weekend.

Remember:

You have a snack in your bag
Your disco clothes are not with your other clothes, they are in the rucksack not the suitcase.
Brush your teeth!
Try to brush your hair more than once a day so you don't look like a heathen.
Listen to the adults
For heavens sake BE GOOD!

Love you, Mom
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Dear KiKi,

We're gonna have fun this weekend. Promise.

Love, Mom
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Dear Readers,

If you have your own letters link up!!

Have a Spiffing Weekend, Kat
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A Failed Brownie Mum

noreply@blogger.com (Kat) — Wed, 02 May 2012 21:22:00 +0000

In 8th grade when I was 13 I took a home economics class because it was considered an "easy A". I got the A, but I think it was mostly due to my ability to follow a recipe and not muck up the end result too much, not my ability to wield a needle in thread. I remember that we made a t-shirt using a sewing machine and that mine was at best a bit wonky with uneven seams that wanted to split. To this day I can only in theory sew on a button. In fact, I had to consult both my mother and granny when they were in town to make sure that I had the premise correct on how to accomplish this so called simple sewing task. I still haven't put in into practice, mostly because I am a lazy moo, but also because I have a fear of absolute failure. I can just see myself yelling "Drat! Foiled by a button!" I really should try to mend my winter coat though, because I look a bit like a hobo walking around with every other button missing.

This brings me to my current failure as a mum. LaLa is in Brownies. She has memorized the Girl Guiding Oath and the Brownie Promise. She is so proud of herself. She has also earned her first badge in crafting (oh the irony), and expects me to sew it onto her sash. The enthusiasm when she announced my task was so genuine that if I didn't know how serious she was I would think she was taking the mickey out of me

So now I have a persistent kid, a sash, previously unsewn badges, and a new badge. Wonderful. So my goal this weekend is to look up Youtube videos and teach myself what an entire semester of home economics could not- how to sew. Watch out Martha Stewart and Kirstie Allsopp I will be kicking crafting asses and taking names.

Dear So and So...A Pot Of Gold

noreply@blogger.com (Kat) — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 08:25:00 +0000

Dear British Weather,

Despite the fact that you can not find it in your heart to quit deluging us with rain, you have seen fit to provide just enough sunshine to create at least one rainbow a day for the last week. I can not recall ever seeing so many rainbows in my life. Yesterday's rainbow was especially brilliant, not a thin little rainbow that you can barely see through the clouds, but a nice thick fully formed rainbow that arched it's way though the sky. It was so beautiful that my children couldn't quit staring at it though the car windows and wondering aloud about where the ends of the rainbow were as we drove towards the air base. So, if you can't stop the rain, could you please at least continue the artwork in the sky?

Thanks in Advance, Kat
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Dear LaLa,

You are not leaving for your school trip for another week. We don't have to start packing for your trip yet. I know you are excited, but seriously, your clothes aren't going to grow legs and walk away before we can get them in a suitcase.

Love, Mom
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Dear Angry Birds,

I knew I shouldn't have downloaded you onto my iPad. Now I spend my evenings launching pixelated birds at pigs while watching all the TV shows that I have Sky+d. I am sure there are more productive things that I could be doing with my evenings, but I just need to beat one more level.

Slightly Addicted, Kat
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Dear CybHer Attendees,

I can't wait to see you on May 12th. Let's see what sort of trouble we can get into this year! I am not sure you can beat a drunken dwarf singing Bon Jovi at the top of his lungs though.

Love, Kat
--------------------------------

Dear Readers,

I hope you have had a wonderful week and have a lovely weekend. If you have your own Dear So and So letters, please link up!

Love, Kat
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"Say Ma-Ma, Say Ma-Ma"

noreply@blogger.com (Kat) — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 07:00:00 +0000

I have been a parent for a little over 8 years now and I clearly remember back to when my oldest daughter was just a squirmy little babe in arms. So cute and cuddly...and mute. Well, mute-ish. Now, not so much. The girls chatter as they wake up, as they eat their breakfast, as the walk out the door in the morning; I assume they chat all day long at school and when they get home they keep chatting all evening until they finally fall asleep. LaLa even talks in her sleep. Probably reciting another awesome factoid that she has learned about the solar system.

As much as I love my children and all the wonderful, humorous and insightful things they have to say, sometimes I just want them to try to be silent for more than 20 sustained seconds. Barring that, at least take a breath before they start speaking again (I swear they don't breath).

I am pretty sure they are chatting even in this photo.

(As I am typing this LaLa is standing next to me telling me about a program she saw on CBBC; mind you she is supposed to be in bed.)

My house is always teeming with the noise of two little girls with the gift of gab. It is no wonder that sometimes at night I sit in complete silence at my laptop and wonder "Why was I so insistent on teaching them how to speak?"

Am I the only one?

Kinda Like a Rampant Lion on a Field of Azure...Sorta

noreply@blogger.com (Kat) — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 07:00:00 +0000

So, my husband has this annoying habit of wanting me to lay in bed and just cuddle with him at ridiculously early hours in the evening so that he can fall asleep. He has to be up before the butt crack of dawn and apparently my soothing presence helps him fall asleep. I think it is a load of rubbish, but sometimes I indulge him.

We were laying down on Sunday at around 7:30pm and if you are anyone who knows anything, you would know that The Voice UK is on at this time, so I was not a happy bunny about: 1) laying down in bed with him for no reason 2) forgetting to record The Voice UK 3) do I really need another reason? I then made the comment "I would like you to know I am here under duress. We really need a house flag that I can hang upside down during these situations."

He started giggling.

"What is so funny?" I asked.

"It could be a penis. Then when you were laying in bed with me "under duress" it could be flipped so it pointed up!"

.....and people think I'm the one with jokes.

*If you get the Big Bang Theory reference in this post you get an extra bonus point.

RIP Cheeto Bandito

noreply@blogger.com (Kat) — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 12:04:00 +0000

Some of you may have seen my Facebook status. Cheeto Bandito was killed last night. He wandered up onto the road in front of my house and got hit by a car. My neighbor was kind enough to ring my doorbell this morning to let me know so that my kids didn't discover his little body on the side of the road.

I know a lot of you come to read funny stories here on my blog and I promise to tomorrow I will try to write something funny, but right now I am going to climb into my bed with a cup of tea and cry a bit more. Today...today is my day to bed sad.

The Potato Salad Saga

noreply@blogger.com (Kat) — Sat, 21 Apr 2012 09:10:00 +0000

Gordon Ramsey has nothing on this kitchen nightmare.

So on a Tuesday, as in four days before Saturday, my husband came home and said "So I either signed you up to make potato salad or pasta salad"...understood to be for the Spring Fling that his squadron is hosting on Saturday. Here I am praying "please let it be pasta salad". It was POTATO salad.

Here's the difference between potato salad and pasta salad- you don't have to peel pasta.

I went to the grocery store and procured all the ingredients. After my first batch I realized that I had severely underestimated how much of each ingredient I was going to need to finish all three roasting pan sized trays of potato salad. In the end I used...

6 kgs of potatoes
60 grams of mayo ( 2 HUGE jars)
2 dozen eggs
2 bottles of sweet relish
half a squeeze bottle of yellow mustard,
and four onions.

There was a lot of potato salad made.

Around 4pm my husband called (while I was making the last batch) (mind you I had been at work since 10 am) and said they might need 10 trays instead of three trays. To which my response might have been "Yeah do one. You and the horse you rode in on."

And while I hope they have plenty of potato salad...I hope to goodness I never see a potato EVER again in my lifetime.

Things I Never Knew I Needed Before I Moved to the UK

noreply@blogger.com (Kat) — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 07:00:00 +0000

1. An electric kettle.

2. Clotted Cream (not very often though or I would be as big as a house)

3. Cornish Pasties (see #2)

4. Sausage Rolls (see #2 and #3)

5. An assortment of tea cups and mugs. I used to drink coffee in the states every once in a while, but I have become a tea-aholic. (See #1)

6. Various scarves in different colors and weights. It isn't the cold or rain. It's the wind. The wind is a killer.

7. Wellies. Or as we call them in the states, rain boots. There really is nothing like sloshing about in the English countryside in a nice pair of rubber boots.

8. Tea. Real tea. Not Lipton or Luizianne.

9. Scones, crumpets, malted bread and tiger bread.

10. A sense of humour. Or humor.

Holidays Were Meant to Be Conquered

noreply@blogger.com (Kat) — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 07:00:00 +0000

Hit play on the video and read along with the music. It works better that way.

So we meet again, School Holidays. So far, I seem to have gotten the best of you. A wonderful visit by my grandparents complete with trips to Scotland

and London,

but I have just checked the weather forecast and it is predicting rain for the rest of the week. Rain! Rain during the school holiday! How very...inconsiderate.

But, I have a plan! I shall foil your attempts at my sanity, School Holidays. I shall have activities planned out the wazoo for my progeny. I will be mentally prepared for the wails of "Mum, I'm bored!" and "I don't want to clean my room!" I have steeled my nerves again spills and messes. I am invincible. HA! You will be conquered!!! Conquered I say!!

Silent Sunday

noreply@blogger.com (Kat) — Sun, 08 Apr 2012 07:00:00 +0000

The Oracle (The Man Guest Post)

noreply@blogger.com (Kat) — Sun, 01 Apr 2012 07:00:00 +0000

I swear my Grandmother In Law might be The Oracle from The Matrix. That would be Kat's grandmother. This is why....as told my The Man.....

The Man's Words.....

So I asked LaLa to help me pick up the yard so I could mow. Let me sidetrack from the Oracle for a minute... She was excited to help and she started before I went outside. I was getting dressed in my get-the-yard-mowed outfit when she came inside crying...WTF...the shovel hit her in the face. I told her..."Well I have told you 100 times don't play on the shovel!" It is the same old story...stand on the end..the stick will hit you. In any case, I did my fatherly duty and helped her calm down. So I finished cleaning up the yard and got ready to mow.

Let me tell everyone how this usually goes. I fill the gas tank up on the mower and mow the back yard and MAYBE part of the side of my driveway. I fill the gas tank up again and MAYBE finish the side and front yard. So it usually takes me 2-3 tanks of gas to finish the yard. Not to mention, it had been 2 weeks since I mowed. The grass was about lower shin high. Last time I mowed when the grass was that high, the damn lawnmower died 20 times on me. Keep those facts in mind....2-3 tanks of gas and lawnmower dies 20 times. Here begins the Oracle story....

So the yard is cleaned up and ready to be gotten. I bring out the mower and the gas tank. I think "Damn I don't know if I have enough gas." Well I fill the mower up and get to work. The MFing mower takes 20 pulls to start but it eventually starts. Well, time to get to work. I start mowing the back yard...about 10 minutes into it I look up and see Kat's Granny looking out the window smiling at me. I give her the nod...I am listening to my iPod smoking a cigarette at this point..and continue on my way. I finish the back yard and move to the side of the driveway (this is the point where the mower usually dies) and I finish it. I then move to the outside of my front yard fence...surely the gas will run out now...but it doesn't. I am thinking WTF but I continue into the front yard. All I can think of at this point is "Kat's Granny done blessed my mower." I think about her just smiling out the back window and it reminded me of the Oracle from the Matrix (I don't think the Oracle had magical powers but she knew the future). I finished the whole damn yard without a single refill or the mower dying on me...WTF......Kat's Granny knew the future and blessed my mower. It was awesome. I guarantee the next time I mow without her Granny smiling at me, my mower will take 2-3 refills and die 20 times...Not sure how to explain it, but the best I can come up with is that Kat's Granny is "The Oracle."

Peace out,

Tom

Dear So and So...Spring!!

noreply@blogger.com (Kat) — Fri, 23 Mar 2012 08:37:00 +0000

Dear Weather,

I don't want to tempt fate by saying you have been lovely, but you have. 4 days of sunshine before April? Unheard of! If this is how nice you are in March, I bet it is going to be boiling by July. Here's to a hot summer of sun!

Love, Kat

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Dear Sprained Ankle,

Ok, I'm over it. Can we just heal so I can quit with the zombie limp? I would hate for anyone to think I was going to try to eat their brains. Plus, I can't wear any cute shoes! So unfair.

Hobbling Around Still, Kat

-----------------------

Dear Sam "Ninja" Kitty,

I used to think it was Cheeto provoking you into fighting, now I see that it is you taking preemptive measures. How about you stop instigating the fights in the house and we will see if he attacks. If he does, by all means kick his little kitten hind end, but I am sick of hearing you two fighting every morning.

Love, Human Mama Kat

---------------------

Dear Children's Taxi Driver,

HA! I got you to smile this morning. My job here is done.

Made You Laugh, Kat

---------------------------

Dear House Elves,

You have been replaced. Thank goodness for that. This replacement even does windows, which is more than I can say for you miserable lot!

I Hope You Don't Need References, Kat

-----------------------------

Dear Over Active Imagination,

I love you. You make me laugh so hard when I am conscious, but seriously we have been having some mighty odd dreams lately. So what do I need to do to make these stop? I haven't been eating spicy food or watching Ghost Hunters before bed, so I am stuck for ideas.

Tired of Waking Up With A Racing Heart, Kat

---------------------------

Dear Readers,

I hope you have had a wonderful week; I have minus the hobbling and random afternoon migraines. Hey ho! If you have any of your own letters, please don't forget to link up!!

Love, Kat

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Dear So and So...I Got 99 Problems but a Kid Ain't One

noreply@blogger.com (Kat) — Fri, 16 Mar 2012 08:37:00 +0000

Dear Cheeto Bandito (formerly Gingerbread Rogers),

Whilst knocking the cat food bowl off it's perch into the dog food bowl for easier access is an admirable strategy, we the Governing Council of the Bungalow, are issuing a cease and desist notice. Reasons being 1) Elizabeast is getting fat from eating all your cat food. 2) It is messy. 3) I hate cleaning up after you. If you do not stop the following action will be taken: nothing. Lets face it, we're push overs and very rarely follow through with threats.

Love, The Governing Council.

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Dear Hubby,

I love you, but I really can't wait for you to go back to work on Monday.

Love, Kat

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Dear Kiddos,

I am so extremely proud of your school reports and the glowing praise I got from your teachers on parents night. You are both thriving and doing brilliantly. La your reading is really taking off and your maths are astoundingly brilliant. KiKi you are doing fabulously in maths and science and your handwriting is getting much better than last term. So proud, really!

Love, Mum

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Dear Readers,

I hope you have a fantastic weekend. If the rain holds out on Saturday, The Bungalow Crew and I are heading to the seaside. So excited.

If you have your own letters don't forget to link up!! Happy Friday!!

Love, Kat

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Promotions Test and Things

noreply@blogger.com (Kat) — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 19:25:00 +0000

My husband, better know as The Man, has this week off of work. He is supposed to be studying for a test to determine if he will be promoted to the next rank in the Air Force. So far there hasn't been much studying going on. There has instead been cleaning, lots of TV watching, and chasing me around the house like a hormonal teenager. Not that I mind that last bit. Too much.

Of course last year when he was studying for this same test Libya kicked off, he got called back into work off of leave and deployed a couple days later. Ah the joys of Air Force life. This resulted in his missing his promotion by 12 points last year. 12 points!!! Soooo close. It was enough to make me swear a little bit. Ok, a lot.

This year I am trying not to get my hopes up. A promotion would be nice, really nice. It is a pay rise and would lead to MAYBE shorter days at work for my husband. Maybe not shorter days but at least maybe a little less crap rolling downhill in his direction at work.

And I know this post is a bit rambling, but as I said, he's been chasing me around the house like a teenager.

I guess I should be thankful that after nearly 10 years of marriage he is still like that...

Silent Sunday

noreply@blogger.com (Kat) — Sun, 11 Mar 2012 15:16:00 +0000

A Short Story That Will Make My Mom Cringe

noreply@blogger.com (Kat) — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 19:14:00 +0000

The other night we had sausages and chips for dinner. It was extremely yummy because the butchers near our house make some mighty fine sausages. About 30 minutes after we had finished dinner, LaLa came back into the kitchen looking for more.

LaLa: "Hey Mum, do we have anymore of those sausages?"

Me: "Umm no, I think your dad ate the last one."

LaLa: "Dammit."

Of course at first my brain didn't process that my 8 year old daughter had just said dammit; albeit a minor swear word, a swear word none the less. Once however my brain engaged and I picked my jaw off the ground I launched into the mandatory "That's a naughty word" admonishment. To which she replied "Oh, alright then." and walked on her merry way.

I can feel the grey hairs looming in my near future.