400 Things

Loss

noreply@blogger.com (Nicki) — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 18:03:00 +0000

On December 4, my Daddy passed away. He was 57 years old.

Dealing with this kind of loss is new to me, but I know many friends who've already been through it. Some days I think I must be doing better, and then other days I think I'll never live through this.

The pain is so real, it's almost physical.

As many of my readers know, he battled colon cancer last year. At the initial diagnosis, he was given 2 years to live. He went through chemo, and by summertime, he was cancer free and living his normal life. Such excitement!

Then, this fall, he began having some stomach pains, which he didn't even share with my mom at first, not wanting to worry her. Finally, he decided to go in for a checkup, where they discovered the cancer was trying to return. They decided to attack it agressively.

From that point, everything was a confusing blur. He had complications from the treatment, which resulted in two surgeries in one week. The chemo caused his body not to heal properly from the operations. His kidneys and liver began to fail, and he developed pneumonia.

Six weeks from the time he went to start treatments, he was gone.

I still can't believe how quickly it all happened. It's hard to believe he's really gone. He was one of those people who really lived. He was so FULL of life. Our world is much different without him.

He left behind two daughters and 11 grandkids. I think what makes me the saddest is to think about my younger children who won't grow up knowing their Grandad.

But I know without a doubt that my Daddy is in heaven, worshipping at the throne of Jesus. He loved God with all his heart. He led many, many people to Christ.

He left a legacy that has been an inspiration to our family and the many people that knew him.

His loss is bittersweet. The pain of losing a parent is very bitter. But the knowledge of where he is now is amazingly sweet. I know he is so happy, and celebrating an eternity free of pain.

If you've been through this kind of loss, you already know what we're going through. Time seems to drag by, and the sadness is at the front of my thoughts all day. I appreciate your prayers for my Mom, my sister, and our family members during this time.

I've blogged about my Dad before. If you'd like to know how great he was, and why we miss him so much, read :

http://400things.blogspot.com/2009/10/open-letter-to-my-dad.html

http://400things.blogspot.com/2009/03/children-are-blessing.html

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BIG Vision Forum Giveaway!

noreply@blogger.com (Nicki) — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 17:28:00 +0000

If you've read my blog for any length of time, you know how much I LOVE Vision Forum products! So you can imagine how excited I am to share a huge giveaway hosted by Raising Olives! Up to $600 free!

Vision Forum carries some of my favorite Christian books, CDs, videos, and toys.

If you're new to my blog, here are some of my previous posts about Vision Forum products:

School Week: Bible
Save the Planet: Don't Have Children
Books I Love: Elsie Dinsmore
Boy Girl Relationships

I could go on all day, or you could visit their website and see for yourself! Happy Christmas shopping.

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Does Cain Deserve a Pass?

noreply@blogger.com (Nicki) — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 01:07:00 +0000

If you don't have your head in the sand, you're probably aware that Republican Presidential nominee Herman Cain has been accused of sexual harassment. Several accusers have come forward in the past couple of weeks.

Personally, I am not sure whether the accusations are true or false. I haven't spent enough time researching the issue. But I'm a little frustrated with Republicans.

Apparently, to many conservative Republicans in the media, it's a "non-issue."

"If it happened, it was years ago, and shouldn't affect his ability to be President."

"What Bill Clinton did was completely different."

Truthfully, I'm ashamed of my fellow Republicans. There may be many things that "don't affect a man's ability to be President." That's not the issue. The issue is the whole man.

I like Herman Cain for the most part. But I still prefer to know whether or not he's guilty as charged. A man's moral makeup definitely affects his ability to be President. It should not be a partisan political issue.

Mr. Cain calls himself a Christian. If he is a Christian, he owes it to his fellow Christians (and the world in general) to prove to us that the allegations are false. As Christians, we are the "light of the world." (Matthew 5:14) Mr. Cain is definitely in a position of influence, whether or not he wins the nomination. His light has the potential to shine quite far.

As a Presidential candidate, his Christianity is extremely important.

"We need religion as a guide. We need it because we are imperfect, and our government needs the church, because only those humble enough to admit they’re sinners can bring to democracy the tolerance it requires in order to survive." – President Ronald Reagan

"It is impossible to rightly govern a nation without God and the Bible." — President George Washington

Come on, Republicans. Call it like it is. Mr. Cain is innocent until proven guilty. But if he is proven guilty, let's admit it, not dismiss it. He is asking us for the most powerful job in the land, and I think he ought to be able to be as clean as they come.

What the Pilgrims Did

noreply@blogger.com (Nicki) — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 15:03:00 +0000

As a parent in the twenty-first century, it can seem that every decision you make forces you to explain your actions, and you may feel as though you are swimming upstream in a raging river. I live in that world, so I know the feeling.

Among Christian families, there is an ever growing movement to separate our children from worldly influence. For more than two decades, homeschooling has continued to grow in popularity. In recent years, a growing number of families have chosen to forsake youth groups and children's church, knowing that even in a church setting the influences are undesirable.

Some families make decisions for their children that raise the eyebrows of even the most well-meaning friends and relatives. For instance, we tend to shy away from slumber parties or extended stays anywhere without parents. We closely monitor all of our children's friendships, and will quickly put an end to those that might have a negative effect on our kids. We limit TV and movie choices, and require the kids to check in with us if even a grandparent wants to take them to see a movie.

God gave us these children, entrusting them to our care. It's such a huge responsibility. But, since they came from God, we only answer to God.

In the years 1609-1620, the Pilgrims were residing in Leyden, Holland. It had been their refuge when they first fled England and the tyranny of the King. So, if it was so great, what made them choose the wilderness of America?

In his book, Of Plymouth Plantation, William Bradford, Governor of the Plymouth colony, describes several reasons. One of those reasons:

"But still more lamentable, and of all sorrows most heavy to be borne, was that many of the children, influenced by these [difficult physical] conditions, and the great licentiousness of the young people of the country, and the many temptations of the city, were led by evil example into dangerous courses, getting the reins off their necks and leaving their parents. Some became soldiers, others embarked upon voyages by sea and others upon worse courses tending to dissoluteness and the danger of their souls, to the great grief of the parents and the dishonour of God. So they saw their posterity would be in danger to degenerate and become corrupt."

So, in their desire to raise their children away from such dangers, they picked up everything and braved a 6 week ocean voyage, wilderness, Indians, and the great unknown. They had very little knowledge of this new world, its weather, terrain, people, vegetation, or possibilities. But it was worth it to them to protect their children and save their souls.

I, for one, am humbled by their sacrifice and thankful that they were willing. They suffered many hardships and losses, but they also produced some of the greatest men and women in history.

So next time you question the sanity of your decisions or are accused of "sheltering" your children from society, holdyour head up, smile, and remember the Pilgrims.

Now go enjoy some pumpkin pie with those unsocialized kids of yours.

Preserve, Protect, and Defend

noreply@blogger.com (Nicki) — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 03:51:00 +0000

This is the reason I started blogging almost three years ago: to expose to as many people as possible the threats to our freedom.

It's real, and here's the proof:

"...act without additional Congressional authorization..."

When a President takes the Oath of Office, he swears to "preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States."

The Constitution clearly states that the Congress has the power to make laws, not the President. Obama does not have the right to "act without additinal Congressional authorization," and just saying those words should have him in hot water with both the media and the Congress.

We have a balance of power for a reason. The Founding Fathers knew, based on experience, that a single person holding the power simply didn't work.

Want more? Jesse Jackson, Jr., Congressman from Illinois, is calling for "extra-constitutional" measures and "administrative" power. Read the article and watch the interview here. He advocates calling for a state of emergency to pass a jobs bill that would allow the Federal Government to directly hire thousands of people. Hire them to do what?

Here's where I might lose a few of you because you'll think I'm a kook.

"Crisis is routinely identified as a core mechanism of fascism because it short-cirtuits debate and democratic deliberation." -Jonah Goldberg, Liberal Fascism

(Fascism is defined as a governmental system led by a dictator having complete power, forcibly suppressing opposition and criticism, regimenting all industry, commerce, etc., and emphasizing an aggressive nationalism and often racism.)

Beware of the term "state of emergency" in this economic crisis. It's the first step to losing our freedom.

Stay with me . . .

Declaring a state of emergency would give the President what looks like "authority" to circumvent Congressional approval for anything, instituting just about anything he (or his cohorts) desire. It would be the beginning of the end of freedom as we know it. When Congress is deemed irrelevant, our system of checks and balances disappears altogether and we live under a regime, not in freedom.

So, what can you do about it?

1. Contact your Congress men/women immediately. Call their offices and talk to their staff about the things Obama and Jackson have said. Ask if they've heard it and if they agree or disagree. Ask them how they plan to uphold the Consitutional authority of Congress. Don't just send an email; talk to them verbally.

2. Spread the word. Use every medium you have: email, blogging (feel free to share this post), facebook, twitter, phone calls; whatever.

3. Be an informed voter. As you seek to preserve the office of the President, make sure you are prepared to vote for the next President. Be knowledgeable. Watch the debates. Read their websites. Ask questions.

4. Pray for the United States. We have a great system set up by our founders. It works well. Pray for our citizens, elected officials, and our form of government.

5. Educate your children. The next generation needs to be more educated and informed than the current generation. Make sure your children know the Bible, the Constitution, and the opposing forms of government.

Please, I beg you, don't sit by and ignore this threat to our great nation.

There is great Danger in Complacency.

The Importance of Reading Scripture

noreply@blogger.com (Nicki) — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 14:07:00 +0000

There is absolutely no substitute for reading God's Word. On a stresssful day, chocolate, caffeine, a bubble bath, and a long walk are all to be desired, but the greatest calming agent is truly God's Word. And sometimes that's all you've got.

In a recent 4 Moms 35 Kids blogging marathon, Kim Brenneman, author of Large Family Logistics (an awesome book!) joined the discussion on basically managing the large Family. You'd expect a list of great tips, lists, and time-management advice. But since she already covered that in the book, she went straight to the real issue. We cannot do this alone.

"Wear out your Bible. Plan to buy a new Bible next year because your current one gets worn out. Put it beside your favorite chair and read daily. Read it to your children, not only yourself. If a child interrupts your quiet time then start reading outloud to that child. Don't get frustrated, just make that child part of your study time. Take the Bible to the breakfast table and read to the children while they eat. Do the same thing at your lunch hour. Take it to bed with you and read it before you go to sleep. When you wake up, read a chapter right away. "

You can read the full post here.

I think my favorite part is to wear out your Bible. Plan to buy a new one every year because your current one gets worn out. That has really stuck with me; it's convicted me. I want to wear out my Bible!

Movies for History

noreply@blogger.com (Nicki) — Wed, 05 Oct 2011 22:29:00 +0000

In our homeschool, we enjoy a good movie to round out certain periods of history. It really helps the times, the culture, the era to come alive. And if you've done your study before you watch the movie, you'll hear your children exclaim that they recognize this person or that place. Plus, it's lots of fun!

I was recently sent a list of historical movies in chronological order. For a Type A homeschooling, list-obsessed mom, it was like winning the jackpot! Click here for the full list.

Obviously, parents need to filter this information for their families. Some are not appropriate for children, but there are a couple of ways to verify their content.

Internet Movie Database or IMDB is an exhaustive list of movies that you can search, by title, producer, actors, and almost anything else. It is pretty good about giving you the breakdown of what's included, like launguage, themes, violence, etc. It's a secular site, but I still find that it gives lots of helpful information.

Plugged In Online by Focus on the Family is a great resource for Christian parents for all things media. The only drawback is that it's mostly current movies (meaning this generation) that they review. Okay, two drawbacks: I find that Focus on the Family is not nearly conservative as I used to think they were, or that I am more conservative than I used to be. So, again, you'll need to filter it yourself.

One of my standards for judging movies is the older the better. You almost can't go wrong if it was made in the 60's or before (I say almost, because there are always exceptions.)

Some examples of movies we've enjoyed this year: Shennandoah (Civil War) and The Alamo (Texas History). We are getting ready to watch Sargent York as we study WWI, and then there are numerous titles to choose from for WWII.

So pop some corn and rent or stream a historical flick after school!

Primary Kids Room Theme

noreply@blogger.com (Nicki) — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 12:53:00 +0000

Until we move into a MUCH bigger house, our little Catie Pie shares a bedroom with her two brothesr, 5 and 3. So how to decorate a kids' room for two boys and a girl?

Primary colors!

And since I found Pinterest, I've found the cutest, easiest ideas that can be copies in our home. Like this one:

It's crayons hot glued to a canvas, and then heated with a blow-dryer to create this effect. The whole family enjoyed this one!

Then I saw this and decided to adapt it with what we had on hand:

There's also an alphabet wall that I'm working on. I'm trying to collect 26 different letters and paint them different colors. It's a work in progress. And framed board games! I'll be scouring garage sales for these.

And lastly, I already made these clipboard/memo frames for my girls, and it was super quick and easy. So, I took some frames that were just sitting around and spray painted them red, added a couple of binder clips, and now we have a place to hang the latest artwork from the boys! Ours are very similar to this photo.

I've found a whole new world of great ideas, and I'll share some more of them later this week. Like a bajillion pictures you can make with your children's handprints!

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Roots

noreply@blogger.com (Nicki) — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 15:31:00 +0000

I am a history buff, so loving and teaching history come naturally to me. It's not school; it's fun. I hope I am making it second nature to my children, as well. Not because I need them to be like me, but because knowing our roots is so important as Christians, as Americans, and as families. It gives us a big-picture perspective, which I think is sorely lacking in so many today. Our world is too small; our focus is very narrow.

I want to broaden it for my children, and I want them to be able to look back and see how history relates to them.

As Christians, it is important to know where the world came from, Who governs it, and Who created us. Reading the Bible reminds us of God's power and sovereignty, and how He keeps His promises. It's the first history book. And it's full of some amazing stories!

In our home, the big kids read the Bible through in a year (chronologically), and memorize the Westminster Shorter Catechism. The little kids listen to Mom read from The Children's Story Bible by Catherine Vos and memorize an easy children's version of the Catechism. At Christmas and Easter, we take special time to read and discuss God's gift of a Savior.

As Americans, it's important to know how and why we came to be Americans. Knowing why the Puritans and the Pilgrims braved everything to sail here, why the colonists chose to resist the king, and what was behind the Constitution give us the inspiration to preserve what we have today.

In our home, we read about the Pilgrims and the First Thanksgiving in November. We read about Columbus in October. The Declaration of Independence and the Revolution are hot topics in July. Our form of government is always brought up in the light of current events. And we always tie this in with God's design for America and how "God governs in the affairs of man."

As Texans (and I apologize and sympathize with those of you who aren't) we relish the story of Texas' War for Independence from Mexico. If you don't know it, by golly, you're missin' out!

The story of Colonel Travis and the defenders of the Alamo, Davy Crockett, Sam Houston, the mothers and wives, oh! I could go on! It makes one proud to be a Texan!

And if you visit the Alamo in person, you'll get chills. I promise.

We recently enjoyed the book A Time to Stand, which details the Texas Revolution. Reading that book just before our visit to the Alamo made it so real.

In our home, we remember Texas Independence Day in March. We visit museums every chance we get. And if I ever see a Texas Historical Marker on the side of the road, we stop and read it.

As families, it's important to know about our ancestors and their relation to our faith and local history. Knowing the grandparents, great-grandparents, and beyond, knowing where and how they lived, and knowing what part they played in our history gives us roots and tall shoulders to stand on.

We need that, and our children need it.

Here are just SOME of the books we enjoy:

I don't have any roses...

noreply@blogger.com (Nicki) — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 19:51:00 +0000

How to Have Fun

noreply@blogger.com (Nicki) — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 11:00:00 +0000

Wow, what a bold title, huh?

Okay, I don't necessarily claim to be the life of the party, but I have spent a lot of time thinking lately about the need to change my focus. NO, it's not about eating, drinking, and being merry all the time, but rather making sure that life isn't all about getting it done, checking off the to-do list, and completing a day.

I believe God is reminding me of this as I go through each day. I tend to get focused on things like getting all the laundry done before my husband comes home, finishing a math book by the end of the month, or other lofty goals. But I tend to forget about things like laughing off the spills, reading a book 5 times in a row to my toddler, singing Itsy-Bitsy Spider, and pushing the kids on the swing.

I KNOW God is telling me constantly to BE WHERE I AM. I tell my kids this, too. Focus on the people around you. Get your work done, but don't let it consume you. Make sure your goals are people-oriented instead of stuff-oriented. Skip the math lessons once in awhile. Read a fun book together. Whistle while you work. Stop and smell the roses.

You get the idea.

Some people come by this naturally, but I do not. I need to be reminded to relax and laugh and have fun.

So in the interest of having fun, I try to be more spontaneous. I try to say YES more often than NO. I might make a batch of caramel popcorn in the middle of the day. Or suggest impromptu movie time. Or get slushies at Sonic during Happy Hour. Or let the laundry get behind (okay, this isn't much of a stretch!).

I don't know how to whistle, but I will sing or play fun music while I work. And if I had some roses, I would stop and smell them. I do have a sweet baby girl, and babies smell sweet, so maybe I'll change it to Stop and Smell the Baby. : )

Whatever works!

DIY Wipe-Off Boards

noreply@blogger.com (Nicki) — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 11:00:00 +0000

While I was shopping for my daughter's birthday, I actually came up with this idea IN.THE.STORE. I devised it as I went down the aisles. It is a combination of things I've seen on the web, adapted for us.

DIY Wipe-Off and Memo Boards:

Since my girls are trying to update their bedroom to a black and white theme, Claudia asked for this quilt for her birthday:

(It's from JC Penny)

She's always needing a place to write and hang notes, but plain ole wipe-off boards are so boring. Since I've already done the frame/scrapbook paper wipe-off board, I new that was one angle I wanted to use. And recently I saw this idea for a memo board from Shanty 2 Chic.

It was easy and inexpensive: black 8x10 frames, bright-colored scrapbook paper, extra large binder clips, and a hot glue gun.

I just glued the binder clips right on the glass for the memo boards. The wipe-off board is obviously best with a paper color that is light and bright under the glass.

I can see these all over the house, with a variety of frame colors, paper backgrounds, and different uses!

And another daughter is ELEVEN!

noreply@blogger.com (Nicki) — Sun, 18 Sep 2011 11:00:00 +0000

My sweet Chloe has passed the TEN mark, and is now slowly moving into the teenage years. What I love about Chloe is that she is still SO little girl. She loves to play with all kinds of toys, play games and make-believe with her little brothers, and all kinds of other childish things.

(She has just joined our local homeschool volleyball team. And what a great number!)

She has a very quiet, sweet, and sensitive personality. She is compassionate, creative, and athletic. She loves to read. She loves fairy tales.

All of her friends say that Chloe is their Best Friend! She's just that kind of girl.

She is also VERY happy to have a little sister!

Oh, and she wants to open her own cupcake shop when she grows up.

We like Chloe a LOT!

Making Birthdays Special

noreply@blogger.com (Nicki) — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 11:00:00 +0000

In the interest of making my children's birthdays really special, I like to do simple things throughout the day to add to the celebration.

This year, for my oldest daughter's birthday, I came up with this birthday breakfast.

It's really just donuts and fruit, but presentation is everything! This was the first surprise of the day.

There are lots of fun things to do to make birthdays a really special day, like filling the child's room with balloons before they wake up, cooking their favorite meals, and looking at their baby book. At our house, we cancel school, give the birthday girl or boy the day off from chores, and take them out to dinner.

Amanda Bennet has a really fun Birthday unit study for homeschool, and I hope to do this with my younger kids this year.

I'm seriously considering asking my husband to schedule vacation days on everyone's birthday next year. It will give him 7 days off to look forward to each year and we won't have to wait until the end of the day (when he gets home) to let the party begin!

Please share your ideas in the comments below for other fun birthday ideas!

Lila Rose Winner!

noreply@blogger.com (Nicki) — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 16:00:00 +0000

And the winner, chosen by Random.org, is . . .

drum roll . . .

Lisa said...
I'd love the med. princess tiara clip!

Congratulations, Lisa, and thank you to everyone who entered!

If you'd still like your own Lila Rose products, visit Bambi at In the Nursery of the Nation to order!

The Number T-Shirt

noreply@blogger.com (Nicki) — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 11:00:00 +0000

I have been mulling over a project like this for months, with all of the age/number t-shirts I've seen in recent catalogs. I think it's a fun idea for the kids, and I think it's a really great birthday gift! Then I remembered this project I found while surfing almost a year ago, and decided it could be adapted. All you need is a t-shirt, stencil, bleach, and a few minutes.

This time of year is what I call birthday season, since my girls and lots of their friends celebrate birthdays at the same time. So, I'm making quite a few of these right now!

I found some great t-shirts for $3 each (Wal-Mart!), in several bright colors. For the number, I just used Microsoft Word, a fun, thick font, and printed it to fit the entire sheet of paper. (I printed on white cardstock to make it a little heavier.) After printing, I cut out the numbers, and just set them right where I wanted them. (The link above suggested a spray adhesive, but I didn't use one.) To spray the bleach, I just put the shirt in the bathtub, positioned the numbers, and sprayed slowly.

I do recommend doing exactly as the tutorial says: spray up and let the bleach fall down on the shirt, instead of pointing directly at the shirt. The first shirt I did was heavily bleached, and the second was lighter. They both looked cute.

I also recommend opening the bathroom window for this project!

My crafty 15-year-old took one look at this and I could see the wheels spinning in her brain! She suggested a simple tie-dye could be done with this method. My soon-to-be 11 year-old is anxiously waiting to see if she gets a shirt like this for her birthday!

And finally, as I was browsing Pinterest last night, I saw this done with a bleach pen! Same concept, new idea!

So, don't pay $35 for a number t-shirt, when you can possibly make one for less than $5!

The 50's Circle Skirt

noreply@blogger.com (Nicki) — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 11:00:00 +0000

Last week, my daughter attened a cotillion hosted by our local homeschool group. This event is held once a month, and the teens are treated to a formal dinner, etiquette lessons, and dance instruction. Each month has a theme, and September was a Sock Hop.

Here she is last year (with my cousin, Liberty) sporting a blue skirt borrowed from a friend.

And again with 3 other friends.

Can you just see the fun about to be had?

This year, Claudia first designed a cute felt circle skirt with a cassette-tape applique (going for the retro-updated-from-the-record-to-casette look), but that idea was scrapped and replaced with the "elegant 50's look" instead.

How pretty is that? I love it!

The circle skirt is incredibly easy to make. I did it from memory, but if you want to make one, you don't even need a pattern. Here is a great tutorial from Dana Made It.

We added a ruffled petticoat for fullness (and also for added coverage when Claudia "twirled").

For the petticoat, I made a simple gathered skirt and put three rows of overlapping gathered ruffles on the bottom.

The top was a last-minute (and I mean the DAY OF the dance) purchase from Wal-Mart, but it was absolutely perfect with the wide elastic belt! And thankfully, she already had the shoes.

I look forward to making more of these!

A Love that Multiplies by Michelle & Jim Bob Duggar

noreply@blogger.com (Nicki) — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 11:00:00 +0000

{ Have you entered my Lila Rose Giveaway? }

I recently purchased my own copy of this book. I had read the previous Duggar book, 20 and Counting, and we also enjoy their weekly TV show on TLC. I am very inspired by everything the Duggars stand for.

(In case you're one of the few who don't know the Duggars, they are a couple with 19 children who live debt-free, homeschool, and just shine with God's love. Oh, and all of their children's names start with J.)

One of my favorite aspects of the Duggars is Michelle's soft, sweet voice and the way she deals with NINETEEN children with such a gracious spirit and a smile on her face. I'm not assuming that it's this way 365 days a year/7 days a week, but it's very evident that she has a sweet spirit and mothers her children with lots of love. When I start to get frazzled and upset during my day, I often think about Michelle Duggar and say, "I can do this!"

In this book, Jim Bob and Michelle share a lot of the how and why of their lifestyle. Some of my favorite parts include:

Jim Bob's lifelong hobby

How they deal with "shy" kids

Training their kids to be entrepreneurs

Dating and courtship

Keeping the kids on their toes

They are bold when it comes to their Christianity and very human in the way they present their beliefs and traditions, never "preaching," but instead sharing the path God has chosen for them.

I highly recommend this book. If you decide you need this book, I'd appreciate it if you purchased through the link above. : )

On Men

noreply@blogger.com (Nicki) — Sat, 10 Sep 2011 20:43:00 +0000

{ Have you entered my Lila Rose Giveaway? }

I recently shared some thoughts about single moms. I suggsted that single moms and their children are the 'widows and orphans' that the New Testament speaks of.

Now let's back up a bit. Before there can be a single mom, there is usually an intact family. (I say usually, because I'm not speaking of the single moms who have chosen that life. I'm speaking of widows and divorced women.) It is fact now that 50% of marriages in America end in divorce. I think the number is much smaller for marriages that end due to death of a partner. What I want to focus on today is the families that are broken by divorce.

In many, many cases, the cause is a flaw in the worldview of the man. He is the man of the house, the father, the husband, the family leader. I believe that he has the first responsibility to see that his family remains intact. There are two simple scriptures in the New Testament that instruct men on how to do that:

"And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord." Ephesians 6:3-5

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her..." Ephesians 5:24-26

These verses seem so simple, but for a man to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her requires great personal sacrifice. Not provoking children can also be a struggle. These require a selflessness that is not widely seen today.

This is where the worldview of the man, the leader, is so important. If a man chooses to follow Christ and serve Him, he will seek to be like Him. To be like Christ means to put others first, to be a servant, to give himself for others. His family is at the top of this list.

There are many reasons that divorce happens to a family, but in my circle of friends, it is almost 100% due to a selfish act or lifestyle on the part of the man. His focus, if it ever was on God and family, has shifted to himself. I have quite a few friends and family members affected by this, and the actual reason for divorce can vary greatly: extra-marrital affairs, molestation of the children, drug use and other illegal activity, alcoholism, a desire for freedom. These have all happened to people I know, and it seems that each man has a different problem.

But the root cause is the same: a desire to please himself, to be entertained, to seek pleasure at the expense of others. The focus is on self, and not on self-sacrifice.

Now let me stop and share my disclaimer: Women are not immune to temptation or selfishness. I do not dare to preach to men or to tell them how to lead a family. I am making an observation, which leads to the 2nd half of this post. Read on:

This epidemic of broken families, with women left to raise children alone and provide an income, and children left confused, hurt, and betrayed, starts somewhere. It starts in the heart of a man. And the heart of a man is shaped and molded in the home of his parents.

I'll wait while that sinks in.

I may not be able to change what has happened to my friends and family, but I can affect the future with the chidlren I raise. And having boys has really grounded me when it comes to the importance of deliberate parenting (which is the subject of a future post!).

With our two little boys, we are raising future men. I remind myself of this every single day when I tell them not to jump on the couch for the thousandth time, wash their dirty little feet after a long day of play, bandage their cuts when they get hurt, and watch them devour brownies like there's no tomorrow. They are loud, dirty, rambunctious little guys right now, but very soon they will be men, husbands, fathers and leaders.

Wow. Wow. Wow. What a responsibility! Everything we do in our home shapes them into the men they will become. What are we putting in their hearts and minds?

Are we teaching them that having a good time is what it's all about? Are we extolling the virtues of a college degree and a high-paying job? Or are we teaching them to die daily to themselves and serve others, to work "as unto the Lord and not unto men?" Are they being shown an example of manly leadership? Do we show them how a true man leads his family? Have they been taught self-control? Boundaries? Humility? Honesty?

These are the things that I think of as each day goes by, not only when I talk to a hurt and exhausted single mom, but also as I talk to my children throughout each day. Every day, every moment, we spend with our children is a chance to influence the future and possibly change the world.

So look at your children and see the future. Do you like what you see?

"Raising children is the most important job in the universe." - Dr. James Dobson

"The way to find the right person is to run as hard and as fast as you can toward Jesus - then take a look at who is running beside you." -Pastor Tommy Nelson, on choosing a mate

This week in school . . .

noreply@blogger.com (Nicki) — Sat, 10 Sep 2011 11:00:00 +0000

{ Have you entered my Lila Rose Giveaway? }

Since we school year round, there was no "starting back" this week like most other families, just the casual routine of our laid-back homeschooling.

Nicholas is in Math-U-See Primer, and loving it. He calls math "awesome!"

Claudia is writing a research paper on Martha Finley, the author of the Elsie Dinsmore series. Please excuse our mess. : )

Chloe is reading George Washington Carver as part of Sonlight.

Nicholas read his first book! (One of the Bob Books, "Fun in the Sun.")

The little kids did Five in a Row with The ABC Bunny and made a lapbook. Nathan is practicing pre-handwriting skills with a printout specially made for this lapbook.

Catie naps a lot, and likes to have books read to her when she's awake.

Speaking of babies during school, since she's at such a fun, easy age Catie's not really a distraction. She takes 2 long naps a day, and plays with toys in the floor. But if she gets bored, I'll put her in the high chair with something to play with while we're at the table, or put her in the playpen for a bit. If she's awake, she'll play while we do our Sonlight reading, or one of the big girls will hold her.

Don't ask me what it will look like when she's mobile! I haven't prepared for that.

After 10 years of homeschooling, I love it more than ever!

Single Moms: Part 2

noreply@blogger.com (Nicki) — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 11:00:00 +0000

{ Have you entered my Lila Rose Givaway? }

In my last post, I stated that I believe today's single moms are the equivalent of orphans and widows, and shared many ways that you can minister to these broken families.

In many cases, there is an added dimension: homeschooling.

Yep, that's right. There are times when a family was happily homeschooling along when a sudden tragedy caused a split in the family, leaving a stay-at-home mom to face a very big decision: do I put my kids in school and get a job, or try to continue homeschooling? Sometimes, there is no other option; a complete lack of income forces the mom to go into the work force.

But sometimes, the option is there, albeit a rather gloomy one.

I was in this situation one time. I had two children, ages 2 and 6. They had never been in a public school or daycare. Homeschooling was my heart's desire before I even had children. When their dad and I divorced, I felt that the worst possible thing I could do to the girls, on top of moving away from the only home they had ever known, was to send them to school and daycare for 8+ hours a day. I wanted to give them what security I could by keeping them with me.

I started with absolutely nothing. I had no money and no income. I moved into my parents' home for what I thought would be a couple of months. I got a job as a church nursery worker at first, and then my own church hired me to clean weekly. This was a blessing since my girls could be with me while I worked. So we homeschooled.

I was able to get temporary food stamps, and then received child support. I also used a credit card for gas and other essentials.

It was a very hard time, but also a time of peace for us. My 6 year old learned to read, and my preschooler learned to count and sing. We took walks to the park and fed ducks at the pond. We sang songs in the car, and memorized scriptures and hymns together.

As the months went by, I continued to struggle financially. My parents were very gracious to let us continue to live in their home. But I was barely scraping by. So I found a part-time job as a medical transcriptionist at a small, local hospital. I was able to request my own hours to work around my preschooler's nap time. I worked from 1-5 p.m. each day. But this presented something new: child care needs. I prayed desperately in this situation and was able to hire a nice older lady to come to our house for those 4 hours each day.

But this isn't what I wanted for us. I needed a long term solution to a) provide for my little family, and b) continue to homeschool.

So I bought a store.

It was right there waiting for me. A craft mall/craft supply store, up for sale, in the town where I already worked. My reasoning was this: I can be my own boss, set my hours, bring my kids to work, and accomplish all of my goals and desires.

Did it work?

Well, it did accomplish those goals. But running a business has its own set of worries. It provided a whole new level of financial needs, long hours, and huge responsibility. But I was with my children all day. They had a playroom at the store, so they could play, rest, or be with me. We had school when there were no customers. Some of my work I did at night while they were sleeping. It was a mixed blessing, but it got us through.

I am telling you this story for this reason: single moms can homeschool, too. Circumstances are widely varied, and it may not work for all, but I highly encourage moms not to immediately assume that they must give up this desire. And I encourage those who want to minister to single moms, that if you know one who was or is homeschooling, and they would like to continue, please ask how you can help.

Here are a few suggestions:

* Help with lessons.
* Help with income.
* Hire them to work from home.
* Hire them to work hours to fit their homeschooling schedule.
* Mentor them in a new career from home.
* Pay for their curriculum.
* Help with living expenses.

I made a commitment to continue homeschooling through some very tough years, and I do not regret it. I would do it all over again. Nine years later, I am still dealing with credit issues stemming from a huge financial shortage, but I wouldn't have done it any other way. The relationships I have built with my children were, and still are, worth it all.

Children suffer just as much (or more) in a broken family, whether from divorce or death. I just wanted to be there for them. There are numerous other moms who feel this way, too, so I implore you to reach out and help them.

I have several single mom friends, and they have been very creative with combining homeschooling and working. One became a nurse and has hired some help with schooling, one owns a bed and breakfast, one just opened a grill at our local zoo.

If you are the single mom who wishes to continue homeschooling, here is a great link for you.

You probably already know that my story has a happy ending. After two years of single motherhood, I married a very wonderful man who jumped right into my ready-made family and my craft store (even though he didn't know a seed bead from a glue stick!), and we have been going strong for 7 happy years!

God is good!

Single Moms: Part 1

noreply@blogger.com (Nicki) — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 11:00:00 +0000

{ Have you entered my Lila Rose Givaway? }

"Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world. "
James 1: 27

Who are widows and orphans? Basically, women and children without husbands and fathers.

I believe that today's single moms and their children are the new 'widows and orphans." Single motherhood is all around us. I'm sure you know more than one single mom. Have you ever been one?

I have.

I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I will be 40 years old very soon, and I can tell you with great certainty that the 2 years I spent as a single mom were the absolute hardest years of my life.

There are those out there that claim to be empowered by single motherhood; they want to appear to have it all under control. Maybe those are the women who CHOSE that role. But let me tell you: it's all an act.

If you haven't been in those shoes, let me invite you in for a peek:

It's lonely. It's exhausting. You are constantly broke. You're tired, behind schedule, overwhelmed, undernourished, trying to be positive, and constantly beaten down.

Single moms are always trying to make ends meet, financially and otherwise. There is never enough of her to go around. Housework gets behind, bills are unpaid, meals are haphazard, and the kids always need more attention.

If you've never been a single mom, try to think of the times when your husband was out of town or even gone all day. Now imagine that times infinity. You aren't thinking, "I'll be glad when hubby gets home," because you know he's not coming home. There is no one coming home to read a story to the kids at bedtime, or someone to talk to about your day, or to take you out for dinner, or just watch a movie with. It's just you.

Depending on the circumstances that put you in this position, you may have an ex-husband who is playing emotional yo-yo with you and your children. So add that to the above paragraph.

So what can you do to minister to these broken families?

1. Be a friend. It can be very lonely in this position. I always felt like a third wheel with other married couples. I even felt embarassed to say I was divorced. Let them know you are there to listen if they need to talk. Most of all, don't judge. Whatever got them to this point is not really important now. Minister to them where they are.

2. Help financially. My most pressing need was always financial. Even if the mom works, receives child support, food stamps, medicaid, or any other support, there's never enough. Don't judge; just give.

3. Help with the kids. Babysit, play with them, spend time with them, take them shopping, and give the mom some quiet time. There is no quiet time when you're the only parent. Not only does the mom need a little quiet time, but the kids need your love and attention. They have, through divorce or death, lost their father and their normal life. They might need to know that someone cares and is there for them.

4. Provide food. Bring a meal, order pizza and have it delivered (paid for, of course!), give grocery store gift cards, bring a bag of groceries, take the family out to dinner, invite them over for lunch. Providing meals is hard for a single mom, because of time, exhaustion, and money.

5. Provide some fun! One of the things I noticed as a single mom is that I didn't get asked over to people's homes, or out to eat, or to many gatherings. These moms and their kids need social interactions desperately. Don't forget them! Invite the family into your home for a game night, or to the park or the lake.

6. Offer to help with housework or laundry. Some moms may say no, but some will say yes, please! Don't take offense if they say no. They may feel embarassed. Just ask if there is any other way you can help. But if your offer is accepted, just jump in and start cleaning.

There are single moms everywhere you look. Don't assume that everything is easy for them, even if it looks that way on the surface. Pray for God's leading and minister to them.

Tomorrow I will share about another type of single mom: the homeschooling single mom.

Lila Rose Reivew and GIVEAWAY!

noreply@blogger.com (Nicki) — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 11:00:00 +0000

If you read any blogs at all, you've probably heard of Lila Rose, the company that sells the Flexi Clip.

I was recently sent a beautiful Flexi Clip by my friend Bambi at In the Nursery of the Nation. She asked me to try it out and tell you what I think.

All I can say is WOW! It's so much nicer than my plastic claw clips. As soon as the package came I immediately pulled out my ponytail and tried the Flexi Clip. It was so easy to use, and has lots of options.

I will admit, I was skepitcal at first. I have long hair (probably mid-back length) and it's fairly thick. And wavy. So putting it up and looking pretty don't always go hand-in-hand. And I wasn't sure one piece of equipment would do it. I usually 2-4 claw clips, depending on their size.

Since I have a lot of hair, I use the Large clip. It holds all of my hair up in a bun or a twist. And it doesn't give me a headache, which many other up-do's . . . ummm . . . do. I found it very easy to put in, and it's SOOOO much prettier than my plastic claw clips.

What do you think?

The Flexi Clip comes in many different sizes and numerous beautiful styles. They also have some very pretty bobby pins, headbands, and even lanyards! How would you like to win a$15 Lila Rose store credit?

Here's how:

Mandatory entry: Visit Bambi's Lila Rose store and come back and comment on which clip you would love to have!

Extra entires:

Like 400 THINGS on Facebook

Watch the sizing video on the Lila Rose site

Follow In the Nursery of the Nation for monthly Lila Rose specials like free shipping as well as clip of the month sales

Get FIVE ENTRIES if you blog about this giveaway and/or share it on facebook

Please leave a seperate comment for each entry.

This giveaway ends Wednesday, September 14!

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The Rose Cake

noreply@blogger.com (Nicki) — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 11:00:00 +0000

{ Have you entered my Lila Rose Giveaway? }

How awesome is this cake?

Can you believe I made it myself?

(Can you believe I didn't iron the tablecloth before I snapped a picture?)

Yes, it's SO easy. And impressive.

I made it for my daughter, who turned 15 last week.

(Of course, I had to borrow her cake decorating tools to do it, but even SHE was impressed!)

I learned how to do it here.

By the way, I didn't make homemade icing like Claudia usually does. I used 3 containers of Pillsbury Cream Cheese icing. With strawberry cake. It was deeeeeeelicious.

Oh, and don't you just love the beautiful cake stand?

Made that, too. For about $7.

See my post about that here.

Elegant and inexpensive and fun!

noreply@blogger.com (Nicki) — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 11:00:00 +0000

Imagine a place where you can "copy and paste" pictures of everything you love on the web.

Imagine not having to "add to favorites" and then remembering what each "favorite" is.

Imagine sorting all the great websites you've found, projects you want to try, recipes you'd like to remember, blogs you'd like to go back to later, hairstyles you might consider, quotes you want to remember, bathroom makeovers you'd like to copy, and much, much more.

Imagine doing all of this VISUALLY.

That's what Pinterest is.

It's a virtual bulletin board. Literally. You can follow your friends on Pinterest, make new friends, and save and sort all the great things you find on the web.

Wanna see? Click here and take a look at mine:

Start your own Pinterest and start "pinning" your favorites! Add me to your Pinterest friends and we can share great ideas!
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