A: Dear Tanya, I am not a proponent of unassisted birth, that is, birth without a trained midwife. I would not recommend having the birth on your own. What I always tell people is this: If the mom is bleeding excessively or the baby is not breathing, a midwife can step in and fix the situation in about 5 minutes. If you do not have anyone there who has those skills or the necessary equipment, you could have a tragedy on your hands. Birthing is very serious and I wouldn’t be casual about your choices. You could ask the “ex-midwife” for help finding someone who could be your midwife. Sometimes you can find a midwife who can travel to you as long as you pay for her travel and lodging expenses. Good luck, it is worth it to look around for the support that you need.

Sincerely,

Maria Iorillo, LM, CPM
wisewomanchildbirth.blogspot.com
www.wisewomanchildbirth.com

Both of my boys were born at home with midwives, the 1st being Aug 16/02, the 2nd born Mar 11/04.
Both births were THE MOST AMAZING EXPERIENCES OF MY LIFE! I had never known anyone who had had a midwife nor a homebirth, but when my husband’s sister became pregnant she chose a mid-wife who happened to be my husband’s 2nd cousin.  I didn’t know anything about midwifery care, I had visions of hippies running around barefoot basically having women cling onto trees in the backyard biting down on a stick.  Boy was I wrong.  Turns out my sister-in-law ended up having to have a c-section because her baby got stuck. She had never planned a homebirth, midwives here in Ontario have hospital priveledges. When it became apparent that my sis-in-law was not going to be able to have a vag birth, there was a transfer of care to the ob/gyn. Tari’s midwife stayed with her through the c-section. Shortly after our niece was born I became pregnant with my first child and at that point it was a no-brainer for my husband and I to choose midwifery care.

I was astounded by the care that we recieved, a minimum of 45 mins per office visit in a homesetting. Most of our appointments ran close to an hour or more. I truly did feel as though I was going through the most natural process any human being could have the honour of experiencing.  My midwives helped in that process.  For all of my life all I knew was the “traditional” hospital delivery.  I am so glad that I was awackened to what nature had intended for women and their babies.

It was me who first entertained the idea of a homebirth to my husband, he was very reluctant at first if only for the safety of me and our baby.  After spending 1 1/2 hours talking with out midwife about a homebirth there was no question in our minds that that was what we wanted - more than anything.

We found through talking with other couples that there is the thought that if you have a midwife you automatically have a homebirth which is not the case here. There are 4 other couples we are close to, we get together once a week, we’ve all had our babies close together - of the 5 couples, 4 chose midwives, 1 (us) had a homebirth.

Labour with my 1st son started about 12:30am, very mildly but I knew right away it was the start. During the day I went to my scheduled midwife appointment, my husband driving, my mother in the passenger seat, I recall we even went through Wendy’s drive-thru for lunch. It was a hot day in the middle of August, friends of our brought over their inflatable pool, set it up in our backyard, my husband hooked the hose from the laundry tub and filled the pool with warm water. There I lay in the pool, my mother & hubby looking on, friends stopping in to say hello all the while contractions coming & going.

At some point I moved up into our bedroom, contractions getting stronger. I needed it to be quiet, I had to concentrate on the contractions, I was able to envision them, they were like a hill and just when I didn’t think I was able to get over the top of each one - I’d be over it. I moved next to our bathtub, my hubby opened a bottle of wine we had bought just for this moment, a few sips & I was relaxed. My contractions were irregular, turns out my 7 minutes between them were the 5 minutes we had been waiting for. My husband was sure that we didn’t need to call the midwife until the contractions were 5 mins apart - those were the last instructions he was given the last time he had called her. My mother sat beside him nervous, I find out later she could not understand why he was so relaxed - but it’s not in my mom to butt in so she didn’t. I finally firmly told him he needed to call, it was after 10:00pm. When he called he was as cool as a cucumber, told the midwife (sure, you can stop for coffee, we’re good here.)

Shortly after that I moved to the toilet, not sure why, no one told me about the incredible pressure on my butt, felt like the baby was coming out the wrong place. Anyway, being on the toilet felt great. At the exact time the midwife was coming up the stairs towards me I felt the first urge to push - and she heard me yell it! My midwife ran down a few stairs, threw her car keys to my sis-in-law who was in the livingroom with the rest of the in-laws & friends - told her to bring in everthing in from her car!!

An hour after that my son was born!

My 2nd son, we were much more cautious with our timing, our midwife this time was my husband’s 2nd cousin. I started on the sofa in the livingroom with the intent of going up to our bedroom - I didn’t make it upstairs. The 2nd time around progressed much quicker.  My labour started around 1:00am, the midwife arrived around 4:00am and my 2nd son was born @ 6:55am.

Both births were amazing and magical. Words cannot describe how incredible they were. I am so glad your movie showed this side of childbirth - the way it should be.

I wonder though, why you didn’t show midwifery care from your neighbours to the north. Here in Canada midwifery is catching on like wildfire. I know that here in Ontario our midwives are licensed by the government and it is also covered by our Ontario Health Plan - we pay NOTHING for our midwifery care, births be it in a hospital or at home. Six of our 11 provinces regulate midwifery, Ontario has the most midwives at 200. * http://www.asac.ab.ca/updatesMidwiferyCanada.html

I was surprised that you showed how much midwives are accepted in European & Asian countries but not here where it is growing. I know our midwife clinics here in my neighbouring cities of St. Catharines & Welland usually are full to capacity with clients wanting midwifery care. They are in need of more midwives to handle their case load.

I hope that your documentary continues to be seen and opens the door or acceptance to midwives and the incredible gift they can give to mothers & father alike.

Thank You
Cheryl
Fonthill, Ontario  CA

A: The type of twin birth experienced by Faith can only happen at home. There is no way that any New York City hospital would allow a woman delivering twins to even be in a birthing center. She would need an I.V. and it is possible she  could have a very respectful experience if she chooses an OB or Midwife with great bedside manner, but I can assure you that no clinician is going to ask a  mother’s permission to give her baby oxygen or start an I.V. or administer pitocin. The pediatric staff will be at the birth and the birth will probably  take place in the O.R. After the first twin is born, they will administer a  pitocin drip to speed the delivery of the second. Sorry, but Faith’s birth and the style of relationship is definitely only available in a home setting. I think it’s better to be real. Saint Vincents hospital and Roosevelt Hospital  would be the best places to have the least intervention. 

Cara

Baby’s Birth Date: 6-24-07

Birth Story: I am the biological mom in a two-mom family. A week before our son’s due date, my water broke. We called our OB and she said to go ahead and go to hospital X. Once we were in triage we were told that our OB wanted us to go to hospital Y (hospital Y, which was affiliated with our OB’s practice was closing its Labor and Delivery floor in July. Since our due date was July 2nd, we had been planning on going to hospital X. But because the baby came early, they wanted us to go back uptown to hospital Y. We refused to leave, having heard not-so-great stories about hospital Y. The one time we had gone to hospital Y for some extra monitoring, the nurse was unkind to me and there was no communication between the nurse and the doctors; we kept getting contradictory information.

So we stayed at hospital Y anyway, and our OB told us (on the phone) that she couldn’t guarantee that anyone from their practice could come deliver the baby, so we’d just have to work with whichever resident was on-call that day at Roosevelt. We didn’t particularly care because our OB wasn’t on call that weekend, so the doctor from her practice was one we�??d only met once before so it wasn’t as if we’d developed a close relationship. In the end, that doctor from our OB’s practice was able to come deliver the baby.

Postive things: no one blinked about there not being a dad, but rather a female partner. We had an amazing male nurse, Michael, who was caring and kind. He was there in triage and then I was in labor so long that during his next shift, he was back and came in to check in on me even though a different nurse was assigned to me.

Negative things: I was in labor for over 30 hours. I was given pitocin because I wasn’t having contractions. I was given cervidil to get my cervix to dilate. I thought I felt the cervidil fall out when I went to the bathroom. I told the nurse this several times, but she ignored me. Then the doctor came to examine me (hours later) and got angry because sure enough, the cervidil was no longer in place, so I was given another one. I was told to walk up and down the hallway to get the baby to descend. That’s when the contractions began to get very painful. I asked repeatedly for an epidural and was refused, being told it was too early. Finally the resident gave me Demerall (I’m probably spelling that wrong). She said it would make me sleep and take the pain away. Wrong! I didn’t sleep at all and instead got crazy as the pain intensified. The contractions began coming quickly one after another and I thought I would die. My partner tried to get me to breathe and do techniques we learned in Lamaze class, but I couldn’t focus on anything. For hours, she helped me through the contractions, but all I could think was why was no doctor or nurse coming to see how I was doing? All I could do was grip the sides of my hospital bed as tightly as I could, swear a lot, and panic.

I was hooked up to monitors that supposedly showed how intense my contractions were. It was not hooked up to my belly in quite the right spot so it was showing that I was having tiny contractions but in reality I was having huge ones. I was panicking and I didn’t know what to do. After several hours of excruciating pain and my sleep-induced-plus-drugged mental state that became increasingly unstable, someone came, saw that I was indeed having huge contractions, and I finally — finally — got an epidural 5 hours after I had originally asked for one. I know that 5 hours isn’t that long of a time really, but it seemed like an eternity.

I never dilated beyond 9 centimeters and because it had been so long since my water broke, they said I was prone to infection, so I had a C-Section. Even though I knew that labor was taking a long time and even though I knew our son was big and that a C-section was a possibility, I was still really surprised when they told me this. I asked if we could wait 1 more hour to see if I would dilate fully and they said sure. But an hour later, I was still only at 9 centimeters, so I got a c-section. A nurse shaved the top part of my pubic hair with a disposable razor and I was wheeled into a different room.

At first I couldn’t see anything because of the sheet hanging in front of me, and I didn’t see my partner anywhere, so I started to panic. Finally my partner came beside me wearing scrubs, and they gave me an oxygen mask. It kept slipping down my face and was very uncomfortable. It didn’t help me breathe, in fact, I believe it hindered my breathing, but in my tired and confused mental state, I thought I needed it so the fact that it kept slipping down my face kept me panicked. The nurse kept asking me questions to see how numb I was. She put something cold and metal on me and asked if I could feel it, and I said yes, and she seemed angry and said I shouldn’t be able to feel it. They kept turning up the epidural, and poking me and asking me if I could feel what they were doing, and because I could feel it, I panicked more because I thought I would feel them cut me open. I had never had any sort or surgery before, and I was really scared. I didn’t exactly feel them cut me open, but I felt a lot of pain, a huge amount of pressure and pushing and pulling. Later on after the baby was born, I was surprised seeing the relatively small scar at the bottom of my abdomen since at the time it felt like my whole lower body (well, everything below my neck) was being tortured. I didn’t see my son come out of me, and I didn’t hear him cry. I have heard that sometimes women are offered a mirror to look over and see the baby come out. I was not offered this, and I’m honestly not sure I would have wanted to see my body cut open. Maybe it would have been good to not focus so much on my own pain. At the time, in that moment, I felt so full of self-pity that I didn’t really care that I didn’t see my son being born. My partner got to cut the cord, bring him to me (he was wrapped up in a blanket so I only saw a small portion of his face), and went with him when he was given a bath. She later told me that she saw the placenta in a bucket and was horrified to hear the medical folks counting and realized that they were counting bloody rags to make sure none were left inside of me. I was sent to recovery, given morphine, and I tried to make sense of the last 30-some hours.

The next couple of days were spent in the hospital trying to deal with extreme pain, not being able to move or sit up, trying to breastfeed and care for our son.

I was never interested in having a natural birth; I am a wimp when it comes to pain and I knew I would want drugs. I have friends who had midwives and doulas, and I certainly know folks who want water births, etc. and I think that’s great for them. I wanted a medical delivery, and I wanted to be monitored, and I wanted to be given drugs. However, I feel extremely dissatisfied with my birth experience, and I still feel bitter, like no one told me the truth about how horrible it is. I felt like no one listened to me (when I wanted the epidural, for example, and when the cervidil fell out and the nurse ignored me). I definitely did not feel like an active participant in my son’s birth, rather, I felt passive and helpless. I hated having a c-section.

By the way, our son Avery was born on June 24th at 8 pounds 8 ounces and 21 inches long. He is now over 6 months old, healthy, beautiful and very happy. My partner and I absolutely adore him, and I feel a strong bond between us already.

We are planning on seeing this film at the IFC next week, and we are looking forward to it. It sounds like it is going to touch on a lot of important issues that do not get discussed enough.

Baby’s Birth Date: 12.30.06
Birth Story: I had planned a wonderful homebirth by finding a great midwife ,eating great and exercising lots and it went as planned.I had a nice meal while in labor and drank my vitamin concoctions to stay hydrated, My Midwife was amazing and my labor was a total of two hours and about five minutes of pushing. I floated through my contractions in the warm birth tub full of water in my bedroom with my husband holding me and our newly born little girl was layed on my chest and never cried just looked around and was as calm as could be. A few minutes later we were in my big comfy bed nursing for the first time and an hour later fell asleep for the night. Very different from my first born’s experience of being pushed out then nurses taking him away to clean him, rub him hard and bright lights in his face, antibiotics put in his eyes and a shot given without our consent in a cold hospital room.
I loved my birth and it was very empowering.

Baby’s Birth Date: June 5, 2007

Birth Story: Tuesday, June 5th 2007 is a day that forever changed my life. It was the culmination of nine months of a gamut of emotions ranging from excitement and anticipation to fear and doubt. If it was only the day my first daughter, Camden was born at home with the help of a midwife, it would have been reason enough to celebrate. But it wasn�??t. It was also the day that marked an enormous shift in my impression of child birth and how wonderful it could be.

My first two children (both boys), Caleb and Case were born in a hospital; the way most would picture a hospital birth. As soon as they were born, I was shown this miracle of GOD, full of wonder, love and trust and then the chord was cut and that miracle of GOD was whisked away to be cleaned, poked and prodded. At the time, I heard no alarms going off in my head, no voice shouting to me this isn�??t right! I was just so happy to see my baby, that the flood of emotions clouded my thinking. Besides, I had seen enough films on child birth, enough TV shows to think, that is the way it goes. Boy, was I wrong! The only negative that came from my home birth was the amount of guilt I hold for not having the information I have now.

On June 5th, 2007 in the comfort of my own bedroom and eventually bath tub, I experienced labor and child birth the way I think GOD intended. There were no beeps, no chords, no clamps, no stirrups. There were just the sounds of encouragement from a loving family, and words of strength and passage from a skilled and supportive midwife. I couldn�??t help but remember those first two births and think to myself, now this is how it�??s supposed to be. Once the rite of labor was over and the baby crowned, I reached down, felt her head in my hands, and welcomed her into the world as the first physical human contact she would experience. To this day, I can still feel her skin on mine, that unmistakable connection. Then, there was crying. That sound that every parent listens for to know that your baby is okay. But this was different. It wasn�??t the loud and sharp scream that you hear in a hospital. It sounded a lot like the cries of the many people who were allowed to share this moment with me. It sounded happy.

Immediately, with chord still intact, she began to nurse. The connection was established, the bond forever secured. My family, who each had a role in this experience, waited their turns, and then introduced themselves. My midwife as she had done the whole time did her work, but never interfered. It was as if she slipped into frame to do her thing and slipped out to let us do ours. She described it perfectly when she said that she didn�??t feel like she delivered our baby. Instead, she was allowed to be a part of our birth. I am forever grateful to her for that. Later, we planted the placenta beneath a Weeping Willow in our yard so that her lifeline would bring new life to a daily reminder of GOD�??s little miracles.

In the end, those emotions I spoke of all went away and I was overcome by this feeling of joy I had never felt before. In the hospital I always felt like a necessary evil. Like I got in the way of this procedure and thus was second fiddle to the miracle of science and technology. This time, I knew that this was my birth, my voyage and I will never return.

I�??ve been told that she is different than other babies. She�??s so happy and hardly ever cries, unless of course it�??s time to eat. She has this glow that is impossible to describe unless you see it in person. She has an affect on everyone who meets her. I can�??t help but think that the way she was brought into this world has affected the way she views this world.

I too am different. I have never been happier and I feel like a better person. I know that I have this experience to thank. I now firmly believe that the miracle of birth is something that should be cherished, not scheduled and performed. It should be celebrated and respected for the miracle that it is.

But what do I know, I�??m just a DAD.

Baby’s Birth Date: November 14, 2006

Birth Story:
I had both my girls at home, attended by my midwife, Carol, here in Wa state.
My first birth was amazing, (6 hours, 10 lbs 2 oz baby, no tearing) but I love to tell the birth of my second daughter, because it includes the help of my 2 year old! I believe with my second birth I was much more conscience too of everything because I wasn’t as overwhelmed, I knew what to expect, and was “in the moment” the whole time.
Since my first birth was so fast, we were prepared for an even faster one the second time around. I didn’t realize it then, but it made me anxious, thinking that it would be “so fast, Carol (our midwife) might not make it.�?? We called in everyone as soon as my contractions “felt different” and I knew it was true labor. We started filling the birth tub, whisked off our toddler to grandmas’ house, and got our supplies set up. I called my best friend, who was my doula, and told her she better get over here! This was early in the day, I think our midwife was asking if she could have breakfast first or if she should just come… I said I thought she could eat first, but really, I was hoping she’d just come! (she was an hour away)
My contractions were similar to my first labor in the beginning. The first “hard” one brought me to the floor and made me cry… just that first one does that to me. Then I was fine. I paced around our small house, I really wanted to make bread during the early stages of my labor, and have a fresh loaf after the baby came! That didn’t happen, but I liked thinking about that mindset. Relax. Let it happen when it happens.
Surprisingly when my midwife arrived I didn’t feel like my contractions had changed much, and she was way relaxed and excited for us. She came in and unpacked her things, took notes, took my vitals. We chatted and she decided to go visit a friend on the island and give me some time.
I felt disappointed. We rested, and walked. It was closing in on lunch time, and the contractions were slowing down, peaking really fast, not much more that 15 seconds long. I knew they needed to be longer! I went walking in the woods with my doula. I remember laboring against a great cedar tree. I stopped walking and just reached out and pushed against the massive, wet, mossy trunk. I can still remember the rough bark against my fingers. I swayed, and rolled my hips through the contraction and when it passed we kept walking. It was a cold day, and I wished it were raining. We got back to the house and I think I was feeling like a watched pot, so people started to spread out, my doula went to her mom’s to nurse her son and have lunch. Carol decided to check me (for the first time so far, I was excited to see where I was at! But nervous too, I figured I wasn’t too far gone, the contractions were so short!) I will never forget the look of my midwife’s face when she checked me. 9-cm. I couldn’t believe it.
I felt like I was in early labor still! 9-cm!! We decided to get the show on the road and Carol said she wasn’t going anywhere, and loaded me up with herbs. I squatted, I walked, the tub was ready. I walked some more. More herbs. Finally I decided I needed to rest, I went to lay down on my daughter bed (mattress on the floor) I had a couple good ones, really felt it in my pelvis, I remember shouting out each contractions so Carol could keep track. My husband was still messing with the temp in the tub. I decided I wanted to see my daughter Macrina, because it had been so long and Anna went next door to get her for me. She came into bed with me and I thought I’d nurse her to see if that would help speed things up, but the moment she snuggled up against me and I looked down at her I was overwhelmed with how much I loved her and that did it! Talk about a natural boost of love hormone ! I went into hard labor and jumped into the tub, scared my sweet kid-do, but she recovered quickly with grandma. I remember the weightlessness in the water working with me like magic. I clung to my husband, sitting on the couch outside the tub, and just let my body float through the contractions. In between I felt positively high. I had a few good ones, and held back the desire to push, because I couldn’t believe it was happening so fast, and I didn’t want to tear. But Anna said to try if I felt the urge, and floating on my back with my husband supporting me our little one came on out in one beautiful contraction. (about 30 minutes from the time I got in!) I did it! She was so much smaller than my first, only 9lb 4 oz, but she was perfect. Her big sister came in once I was cleaned up and out of the tub, and my husband and our two little girls snuggled in on the bed fell in love.
( We gave this little one the middle name Ahava– means love, and water, it was my love= oxytocin for her sister that gave my body what it needed! )