Divorce, or dissolution, as it is increasingly becoming known, a legislatively created, judicially administered process that legally terminates a marriage no longer considered viable by one or both of the spouses and that permits both to remarry. Divorce laws vary considerably around the world. Divorce has become ingrained in our culture; in the USA, divorce is primarily governed by State specific laws. Divorce is formally called “dissolution of marriage” in Washington.
State to State variations exist in Grounds for Divorce and Residency Requirements, Property Division, Alimony/Spousal Support, Custody, Child Support and Visitatation. Divorce in New Hampshire often includes a name change. When it’s working, the Cornell webpage http://www.law.cornell.edu/topics/Table_Divorce.htm links to the divorce laws of the different States and to tables summarizing some of their salient points. Those interested in the divorce law of a particular jurisdiction should review its law directly rather than rely on the tables that may not be fully accurate or complete.
For example durational requirements go from a minimum of zero to 1 year, but be aware that California requires domicile as distinguished from residency for jurisdictional purposes. In States where living separate and apart is a key factor, the requirement can vary from 60 days to as much as 3 years. The acceptable grounds for divorce may or may not include incompatibility depending on the State.
There are two types of divorce: absolute and limited. Several jurisdictions' statutes authorize limited divorces, or divorce “a mensa et thoro”. Many states have enacted what is called no-fault divorce statutes. This is a response to outdated common law divorce which required proof in a court of law by the divorcing party that the divorcee had done one of several enumerated things as sufficient grounds for the divorce. A No Fault divorce that does not require a finding by the divorce court that one (or both) party(ies) is at fault. No fault divorce law allows a divorce regardless of who is a fault. Most States, but not all, incorporate this system and some have it as sole ground for divorce. Some States provide for a Judicial Separation, a kind of halfway state between married and single. It offers a solution for some but has many of the disadvantages of divorce without providing a clean break and fresh start.
Marital or community property is defined somewhat differently by different States, but it generally includes property and income acquired during the marriage. Earnings during the marriage are marital property. A home, furniture, and cars purchased during the marriage usually are considered marital property. Economic misconduct is relevant only in some States. Depending upon the jurisdiction, courts consider the non-economic contributions of a homemaker (usually the wife) in both the award of alimony and the distribution of property. However, the gender of the homemaker does not affect the "recognition of that spouse’s non-monetary contributions." In many States, a spouse can also ask for compensation for any financial contributions made to the other spouse's education. Compensation can be requested as part of the divorce proceeding, or any time after a divorce. In general, the contributions to education must have increased the spouse's earning power and must have been made during marriage. The compensation can be reduced by the amount the contributing spouse benefited during the marriage from the increased earning power.
The factors affecting alimony/spousal support are set out in detail in the laws of each State. Whilst there is general agreement in principle, the influence of martial fault, standard of living and child custody rulings do vary. Many States have a statutory list of factors to be taken into account but the weighting of the factors is a matter for an individual judge and case law.
When it comes to child custody, child support, visitation and less common issues like adoption and guardianship, the variability is even greater.
In conclusion, a one practical point stands out: see if you have a choice of where to file for divorce and pick the best for you – the rich do this all the time. Second, don’t listen to any advice from an out of state ‘expert’. Lastly you, or your lawyer, must be fully informed on the law in the jurisdiction. In a simple case you may be able to handle it yourself, in a complex action get a local expert attorney.
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It used to be that you were always in the wrong, you spent time in the same place but not really together and she didn't seem to care about anything much at all. Sex is a memory. The only thing you have in common is repeating the same old arguments.
Now she has told you "she doesn't feel she loves you anymore", she is spending more time out and she's not comfortable if you're around when she's on the computer. And she's tidied herself up a bit. No wonder you're worried! Just the thought of infidelity makes you feel hurt and angry, specially after some of the things she's said.
But what if you're wrong. Maybe there are new things at work, maybe her mother/sister/aunt really does need her help right now. If you accuse her of having an affair and you're wrong, your marriage is doomed. It was bad before, it's bad now, that would finish it for sure.
They say ignorance is bliss but it doesn't feel that way when you're lying awake at 3 o'clock in the morning. Is she unfaithful, having a secret affair? Who is this guy and what is he doing to her? You've got to know one way or the other. What's a man to do?
Don't ask me how I know this, OK? But there is a way, a discreet way, you can find out if she's cheating on you without her sensing that you're checking up on her. You gotta keep your cool. Evidence first, decisions second. And remember, if you do find out she's cheating you still stay quiet. You want to dump her, divorce her? Do it on YOUR terms. Take time to arrange your affairs, plan your moves, then spring. So now is NOT the time to show your hand.
The first thing to do is Sebastian Lawrence's cheat catching techniques, but I give 10/10 to Glen Houston. Decide for yourself, but I like Glen's style and I reckon you get more useful tools from him.
A final word. Marriages can recover from infidelity. True, but that may not be an easy idea to swallow right now. The whole attraction of a secret affair is that it's secret. Exposed to the light she too will probably find it more sordid than erotic… and want you back. And maybe she is too good to loose. So keep your options open. Get the facts, plan for a range of possible outcomes and whatever you do, don't rush into things and don't say too much too soon.
]]>You deleted the emails and files, cleared out internet history, search history and clipboard. So you're private affairs stay private right?
Wrong! With some simple software almost anyone can retrace every computer move and see every last thing you did. If you are planning divorce, investigating to see if your partner is having an affair… or having an affair yourself… do you really want your partner to check up on every move you make? I don't think so.
Not convinced? Get a free download here and see all the evidence sitting on your hard-drive that you thought had gone when you deleted it.
Don't let people invade your privacy, get an industrial strength data scrubber. Better yet, get one that is officially approved for disk sanitization. If you are not a PC techie, try to find software that actively scans all areas of memory and seeks out footprints and possible private information. When it is all in front of you, you choose what to keep and what to blast into digital dust that cannot be recovered.
When selecting software check that:
I had a look around the market and tested a few programs. They work OK but the one that gets my vote is Evidence Eraser, for its simplicity and thoroughness.
What privacy software have you tried and how did you get on?
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The “winners never quit” mindset can override recognition of a dead end marriage. Separating a complex tangle of emotions from a cold appraisal of the best way forward in your long term interests is what makes divorce so tough for both men and women.
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If you are someone that is facing a divorce, you may be feeling very depressed or emotionally in distress. These feelings are very normal. You cannot predict what is going to happen when you get married. Some marriages work and others do not. It is important to understand that this is not the end of the world and things like this happen all the time.
You are not a bad person because you are getting a divorce. If you and your spouse cannot longer get along, there is no reason to live together in a situation that makes you unhappy. You need to worry about your future and the well being of yourself and your children if any. Sometimes a divorce can be avoided with the right consoling and other times, there is just no hope.
You have to keep positive when you are going through a divorce. You cannot let yourself be taken down by what is happening around you. If you are being accused of untruthful accusations, you have to keep strong so that you can defend your name and your reputation.
Do not give up. You have to be able to fight for what you think is right until the end. If you are determined to get something that is rightfully yours, you need to stand up for it. Getting what you want in a divorce is not always possible, but you do have to keep up a good fight for it. You have to make sure that you are doing this so that you can keep up your positive attitude about what it going on.
Keep yourself surrounded by others that are positive as well. Keeping your friends and family around you is important. You need to keep having fun and laughing when you can. This will keep you in a positive atmosphere and keep you ready for what is ahead.
Once the divorce is over and done with no matter what the outcome, you have to be ready to go on with your life. You need to be ready to get on with your future and to make your dreams come true. Your life is not over even if you think that it is. There are always second chances and you deserve to have one. Your time will come for love again and if it does not, you will know that you are better off without the other spouse. You can make it on your own and have a good life.
No one who gets married expects that his or her marriage will eventually fail. The promise of forever is generally meant whole-heartedly. The sad fact is that a large percentage of marriages do exactly that. Fail, and often do so miserably. Roughly 30% - 40% of all marriages fail. The person you fell in love with and married could one day be a stranger or even an enemy in a divorce proceeding. One of the main contributors to inequitable divorces revolves around who controls the financial aspect of the marriage. The person who had not is at a serious disadvantage in a divorce proceeding. If you are in that position, then this advice is critical for you.
There are some simple and logical things that you can do to protect yourself if you think that your marriage is in imminent danger of failing. Following these tips can mean the difference between living comfortably after your divorce and suffering through years of financial and emotional hardship.
One of these is to keep the non-marital assets separate. Property you inherit, proceeds from personal injury or other legal awards, items that you owned prior to your marriage and gifts to you that are not considered gifts to the family are all things that are considered non-marital and are not part of the divorce process. If the assets are commingled or an asset is sold and the proceeds from that sale become marital assets, it is difficult, but possible to track a percentage of those proceeds and claim them as non-marital.
Establish your own credit. In many cases, one of the couple has had control of the finances and the other has become virtually invisible as far as credit is concerned. This is usually the woman in most instances. Either way it is important that you establish your own line of credit. The easiest way is to get a credit card in your own name and not linked to your spouse in any way. It is also important that your name be on all the household accounts and investments so that you can prove that they are all considered marital assets.
Review your financial holdings regularly so that when the time comes you will know what those assets are and how much they are worth. This includes assets that are in your spouses name only. Make and keep your own copies of the paperwork concerning these. Records can be lost or destroyed, sometimes intentionally.
If your divorce is imminent, close any joint accounts as soon as possible, such as credit accounts. You do not want to be held responsible for your spouse’s purchases or new charges, especially considering that they may be for legal fees for their own attorney. Usually a creditor will require the account be paid off before it can be closed. It is a good idea to close the joint bank accounts as well and keep good records of any money taken from them. If any proceeds are removed, keep a careful account of where the money is placed or how the proceeds are spent. Accurate records will be a big help in court later.
Lastly, hire an experienced Solicitor. Someone with experience in this branch of law will be there to help you avoid the mistakes others make. There are many to choose from so it is important that you ask important questions in order to choose one that is knowledgeable and right for you. Ask about their experience in family practice and specifically divorce. Ask the Solicitor to explain the legal issues as well as the legal process in your particular area.
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