50 Times A Writer: Suzette Unleashed

Growgetter Ebook Challenge

2016-11-13T07:34:00.003-08:00

Last Monday, I was given a challenge. I was to write an ebook, going from writing to promoting, in just 5 days. I did it! But boy was it a challenge!!!!!

Find out about limited time offer

Are you Rising Strong?

2015-10-11T07:18:00.001-07:00

‪#‎risingstrong‬ What I love about Sunday is it's a time for me to renew. I've been reading Brené Brown's new book, Rising Strong. It talks about the difficult Act 2 of your story. It's the no-fun part where you're too far down the road to turn around and go back yet you can't see anything familiar. You're in the dark and you hate it.

Marci Shimoff might argue that in the life trilogy of going from Intention to Attention to No Tension that it's the No Tension part of our journey from here to there. That's what Act 2 is all about. It's that part where you've gotten clear about your intention and have applied everything that you are and know into giving attention to it. Yet, there comes a point where there is nothing more you can do. Nothing you try works. Doors you knock on don't open. Folks who said they'd help are nowhere to be found. It's that place where the hustle and bustle of doing goes away and you find yourself in an eerily quiet space. Marci says that's where you have to release it to the Universe to do the magic.

What makes it the hardest part however is it's as if someone turned the lights out. Life has shut you down and no longer supports anything more. In the Grander Scheme, nothing else is required of you; yet you see nothing that even looks like God/Universe is on board. It's as if He's closed up shop and gone home too. Though, I'm not experiencing that now, Life experience has taught me to expect those Winter seasons where there is no more harvesting to be done. You just have to allow nature to sleep in a cold, hard cocoon until the kiss of Spring awakens it again. I haven't fared well emotionally during those times, if I were to be honest with you. God knows it and I know it. But I hear something Wise inside perking its ears to a rustle as the Bigness of God rides on the winds of awareness.

He's showing me what's behind the curtain so that I can embrace the Act 2 of life, the No Tension of life, the Winter of life when it comes around again. What's behind the curtain? It's the struggle where the caterpillar instinctively fights. He doesn't know what he's struggling for. All he knows is that he must. It is not until he breaks himself open that he sees the Light that has been there all the time. And in that Light, he is a Higher Form of himself. Totally unrecognizable to those who were not privy to the cocoon experience; yet more powerful than He ever imagined. To me, that's what Rising Strong is all about.

It's Raining Men, Hallelujah!

2015-08-10T13:24:00.002-07:00

Tonight's the night! See you at the summit!! You must register to get dial in information at www.suzetterhinton.com. If you have problems or can't locate the dial in information, contact our team at contact@suzetterhinton.com. We'll get you connected something snappy!

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My Validation My Healing

2015-08-07T13:23:00.001-07:00

Isn't it wonderful when you meet someone who gets you. Where others minimized what you went through, this person bears witness that it mattered. This is the real attraction. We think that it's his biceps or her hips, but while certain things about the opposite sex ring my bell, it pales in comparison with a sustained respect for what matters to me.

Stories of love found and love lost are as unique as the two people in each love story.

I remember listening as Valerie Simpson of the famous 1960's Motown duo Ashford & Simpson recalled what she described a very passionate relationship with her late husband. When asked if they fought. Valerie laughed while reminiscing. They would call each other names, scream to the top of their lungs, and slam doors. They caused such a raucous in fact, that their next door neighbors, The Cosby's, sent them a thank you for keeping them up all night long. One would think that theirs was the most terrible marriage ever, but they were solid as a rock.

I couldn't have been in a relationship like that. It would have been the death of me. That's why it is so important to know what helps you become your best self. Each relationship helps us get more clear.

Every wound needs a witness. But should you marry the witness?

My first two marriages were to a man who bore witness. It was comforting at first. When I revealed my pain, he understood. He even shared his own. It felt so good to finally be with a man who got me. It bonded me to him to the point that everything else was dismissed or rationalized away. They don't understand him like I do was my thinking.

What I learned from that marriage was marriage can't survive on the witness alone. While we are drawn to someone who validates what we've been through and holds our vulnerability sacred, we are doomed to relive that misery unless the other person involves him or herself self in the healing. This is something I didn't understand. His hands could only support my pain; they could not support my healing.

Pain reliever or healer, which are you?

Once my heart was broken, my esteem went with it. All I could focus on was validation. I needed someone or many someones to understand. I was broken and I was hurting. Validation offered me two Tylenol with a full glass of water. While that helped for a moment, after a while, even pain relievers weren't enough. Broken hearts are healed with pain relievers. They require more.

Pain reliever or healer? This is the question. I am not Ashford & Simpson. Just the same, they found their healing in each other. And though they fought like cats and dogs, they were a safe place where intimacy found a resting place. Part of determining the future of a relationship is to define this for yourself. Life was trying to teach me that.

I think that is what the discovery phase of a relationship is most about. It gives us a chance to see if a person is a pain reliever or an agent of healing. Little by little that fog of euphoria dissipates and you are able to see a little bit more and a little bit more.

"Only your mother could have been married to your father."

While our opposite sex parent is usually the template of our romantic relationships, the day I heard these words changed my life. Up until that point, I was drawn to and accepted the same familiar type. My dad was not emotionally available and I kept trying to heal that pain by finding him in other men and righting that wrong. It didn't work.

It wasn't until I became emotionally available for myself and owned my feelings and needs wholeheartedly that I stopped the insanity. Wrong relationships weeded themselves automatically. My now husband was different.

Healers aren't forced. They are revealed.

In order for something to be revealed, it has to first exist. The ability to heal is inherent in the body. Doctors in alternative or holistic medicine believe that. Stands to reason this is true of emotional healing as well. My husband has a wonderful capacity for healing like I've not seen in anyone else. His level of empathy is rare.

There was an ease about him from the start. He wasn't easily agitated. He was warm and helpful. Not only that. We enjoyed hanging out with each other. Still do. But it wasn't until we were at do-or-die points in our relationship that his extraordinary empathy was magnified. Even if we did not agree, when the smoke cleared and intense differences died down, steady as always was his willing spirit. His love is truly healing and makes me better.

He's Here

2015-08-03T07:01:00.001-07:00

Ah, married life! The toilet seat left up. Shaved hairs in the sink. I, like any other woman, cringe when I see it. But what would it matter to have the toilet seat down if my husband weren't here with me?

When I got married, I was tempted to shift my focus from loving my husband to changing these behaviors. I was walking around the house and to be sure, there was some evidence of my husband in every single room in the house. A pair of shoes by the door, the wrinkled bed in the guest room, and yes the pots and pans he left soaking from last night's dinner in the sink. My initial thought was this house is a mess. Shoes go in the closet. Bed covers should be smoothed after you get up. Pots and pans need to be washed and put away. But then something higher said. "Suzette, he's just marking his territory." He laughed with a "that's right," when I pointed it out.

I remember a part in my dialogue with one of the speakers for my upcoming You Asked? Good Men Answered! telesummit. We were talking about how men feel when women say to them, "We need to talk." Then he clarified, "But, I'd rather have her talking than quiet." That was profound. He understood what we women know. When we get quiet, it ain't good. But what he was saying went deeper than that.

He went on to talk about how much he needs and treasures her voice: her talking, her singing, her way of being and what it does for him. It's her sound that he treasures. It's her sound that he needs. When we are able to get beyond what's upsetting our orderly world and cherish the sound that a person brings to our life, then we truly love that person.

I don't want my man to be quiet. Sure, I'd prefer that the toilet seat were lowered, shaved hairs were removed from the sink, pots and pans were washed, shoes were put in the closet and the bed were smoothed after he's laid on top of it. But if I had the choice between his compliance and his sound, I'd choose his sound. His sound is his presence. His sound is him. He is in every part of my house. It's his fragrance. Wherever I go, I carry his fragrance. When I come home, I need it. He's here. He's home!

I love him.

What Makes Love Endure?

2015-03-13T21:30:00.001-07:00

I just finished searching for the full episode of The Talk where Jada Pinkett Smith was the guest. It was Monday, August 15th and I hated I didn’t see it. Couldn’t see it actually cause I had to go to work. Though I am a shameless romantic, I tend not to put too much stock in celebrity marriages. You don’t know how much is real. After all, they are actors, actresses, performers. If it were the cutesy Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt type of romance, I might be a bit disenchanted. But when I watch Will and Jada, I see something different.

I was reviewing many of the youtube videos of Jada and there was one of Will being interviewed. He was asked what is the essence of Jada. I could see in his eyes the wheels turning. I can imagine he was trying to peel back all his experiences with her to get to that one thing that sums up his wife. “Commitment,” he said. "You can hang your hopes, your dreams on her and she’ll never let you down."

As I sit here, watching the sun rise above the trees outside my window, I know that it isn’t the romance that draws me to this couple. No more than it’s the romance that draws me to President Obama and Michelle. It is the commitment. I...choose...us. It's like they share a secret that we can only guess about. There is a knowing of the specialness there. It’s not just lustful, it’s like-ful. It’s sparkle in your eyes-ful. It’s the you are enough-ful. It’s that I’m still in awe of you-ful that you see in their eyes.
What makes love endure?

I have to admit I don't know. I've had fantasies. I've observed couples and admired certain things. To be honest, though, I've never experienced a pure selfless love outside my relationship with God. Even as I evaluate my own capacity for love, I've only loved one person selflessly - my son. I've loved because of. I've loved in hopes of. I've loved based on. I've dreamed of true love, the Knight in Shining Armour happily ever after, but was taught obligation, martyrdom and suffering . So much suffering in the name of love. So much tolerating and enabling your partner at the expense of love. So much settling for less as if this is all you deserve of love.

Though millions of books have been written, movies have been produced, people have exchanged I do's, what makes love last is still a mystery. You love the way a person looks. You love how this person makes you feel. As time moves on though, Love is challenged. Most times, it's nothing new. It was there all along but now, it can't be ignored. Perhaps the whisper has now become a shout. And if you continue to ignore it, it will be a brick up side your head. You know within yourself that something's got to change.

Is it just me or does it seem like men are the last to get it. They will tell you it's gonna be alright. They will ask you to just give it time. It's as if they hear you, but they don't really hear you. Maybe that's what the fairy tale is about. The beautiful princess is crying, "Help! Help!" But only her true love can rescue her. Maybe it's because he's the only man who could really hear her. What about swimming the moat and slaying the dragon to rescue the beautiful princess? What is that about? Maybe a dad was telling his little girl a story about his love journey. Maybe he used these images to explain what he had to overcome from within and without to love her mother, his wife. A man's journey from selfishness to selflessness. You may be laughing now but I believe that if a man deeply loves a woman, he measures her worth by how much he's sacrificed. What was required of him to have her and what he's had to do to keep her.

The moat requires overcoming what separates. If you can't swim then you build a bridge. You overcome obstacles to love. Dragons must be slayed or removed, whether fire-breathing or Pete's Dragon. They are a threat. You can't manage a pet dragon. A pet dragon might be a close relationship with an ex. It might be a job that requires too much travelling. Regardless of how it manifests, it's harder to remove because it might be tied to your ego or a hidden insecurity. Try as you might, you can't keep it and keep her. I guarantee you if Disney's Pete met a girl, the dragon would have to go...lol. Dragons take up so much space, require too much time and effort in our lives until there is no room for love. These dragons might breath fire on the relationship; but more times than not, they just suck up all the air.

President Obama, What Will Your Legacy Be?

2015-01-24T10:31:00.000-08:00

Mr. President, I'll admit I didn't watch The State of the Union. It wasn't the message but it was all the "stuff" in the background that made me not want to watch. Surfing through my email messages, however, I saw this video on Youtube.com. It was more my speed. A conversation not a speech among the curious, honest, and insightful about legitimate concerns, without all the judgments and biases that have become the "stuff" associated with politics.

Of all the questions and answers, the most powerful one was what will your legacy be? As you pondered what you wanted to accomplish, you said that you'd probably not know that until the end of your term. I, a citizen that you may never ever know or meet, wish to share what your legacy will be--at least for me.

You have changed the face of politics. That's a fact! Not just the color of your skin though some have argued that you are too Black while others have deemed you not Black enough. You have blended renaissance and futurism like no President before you. You speak the language of both the old, while prophesying about the new: a past, present and future that no government has ever experienced. You are the first president of color to lead the free world! That has brought with it a unique experience unlike those before you.

Parties have fought to keep their traditions and their power despite the shift in the minds of Americans that led to your election. An America where no one race, no one creed, no one color can dominate at the expense of others. Regardless to whether we elect a Democrat or Republican or Tea Party candidate or Independent in the future, a habit has been broken. A line has been drawn in the sand. It's a new America. An America that requires that we come back to what politics is really about. This, you defined so simply yet brilliantly as people coming together to decide how they are going to live together. How simple is that! You pointed out that we make political decisions every day. Going to a movie with a group of our peers was an example of that. No one person or interest decides. It takes consideration and compromise. All have to feel their voices are heard though all concede to the majority vote. If they don't, you may have won the movie, but lost the comradery in the process.

Like you, I see a new politics emerging. One where our children have decided they don't want to be like us. They don't want to be ruled by judgments that segregate. They are coming out as they are, choosing rather to be honest than to be a hypocrite. They have a new experience of life and cannot act as if they haven't. They, reminiscent of their Creator, see hypocrisy and call it what it is despite people in authority who would beg to differ or to reframe or to ignore their truth.

Yours Mr. President will be a legacy that spearheaded a revolution. One that is not fooled by the North winning the civil war or any Emancipation Proclamations or Fifth Amendments. One that is not fooled by Martin Luther King Day being a federal holiday as proof that we have overcome and that all men are regarded as equals. It is one prompted by the resurgence of hate that is so vile that people all over the spectrum of our nation and other nations shudder at it. It is proof that what you ignore grows. It is so grotesque that it requires that we do something about it.

No longer can we afford to mask it with references to skin color when the real culprit is--institutionalized fear. Despite our criticism of the other, all of us share responsibility in the preponderance of fear ravaging our world. Fear is what is killing the innocent. Fearing what we should regard as valuable. It's a revolution where Black Lives Matter. It's a revolution where Police Lives Matter. It's a revolution where All Lives Matter!

We point to our country being founded on Christian principles when nothing is further from the truth. If we look in the back yard of our founding fathers, there is nothing Christian about it. It's just as messy as anyone else's. Our history is messy, Mr. President. It was founded on one group taking advantage of another. We have perpetually taken what doesn't belong to us and tell ourselves that the end justifies the means. We quote scriptures to justify it. We quote the Constitution to justify it. We quote our favored religious books and practices to justify it. Still, none of it covers our shame. We try to make intelligent argument and try to act as if we are coming from either a higher consciousness or keeping it real. It doesn't change it. Fear is fear. From the pulpit to the Pentagon, fear is fear. From our poverty-ridden history to our moving-on-up to new neighborhoods, fear is fear.

Mr. President, some say the opposite of fear is love. Maybe that's true. I would argue the opposite of fear is choice. When we understand our power to choose, we no longer blame anyone for our status in life. Nelson Mandela is proof of this. Oppressors thought that throwing him and others into prison would convolute their message of freedom. Though he endured atrocities to his person on a daily basis, he experienced an awakening to just how powerful he was. For when offered the chance to leave, he made a choice not to leave without his brothers. Today, we can all make a different choice. We can be better than hate. We can be better than oppression. We can choose to allow our circumstances to determine our depth, our breadth, our height or we can marry our bigger truth with our choice and, like the caterpillar, come out transformed and liberated.

I myself know the power of choice, Mr. President. After 33 years of socialized and internalized criticism of myself and others, I came across a book laying on my sister's bed. Captivated by its title, I rushed to pick it up and thumbed excitedly through the pages. One word ignited my revolution. That word was choice. Matter of fact, the title of the book was Love Is A Choice. Likewise, the word that ignited this country's revolution came from God's heart through your lips. That word was change. And though the fury of the battle has escalated and many lives have been lost, it is still the word that the Universe is conspiring to bring about. Our world will never be the same. And years from now, when the smoke has cleared, our children and children's children will thank you for it.

The Sound of My Soul

2014-05-24T14:28:00.001-07:00

In just 1 week and 1 hour, we'll be celebrating the release of my new book, The Sound of My Soul. That's not all, her twin sister, Protecting Your Emotional G-Spot will make her debut as well. If you haven't guessed it, they are fraternal twins but both share uncommon wisdom and a desire for knock down beliefs that hinder you from experiencing life to its fullest. To order, go to www.suzetterhinton.com. The Sound of My Soul

Book Cover: Help Me Choose!

2014-02-28T14:48:00.000-08:00

I'm undecided about four book cover proofs. They are proofs, so I am aware of the transition issue and speckles around my image. Don't worry, they will be corrected. This is just to get feedback. My book, The Sound of My Soul, will be launching in April 2014. It is the second in my Sound series.

Here they are:

I need your feedback on DISPLAY/BOOK SHELF APPEAL

I need your feedback on which cover would you most LIKELY TO PICK UP for a closer look

I need your feedback on which cover would have most MASS APPEAL

Thanks for your help and your support!!!

I've Been Epitomized

2013-06-06T14:56:00.001-07:00

When I get an unprecedented jolt of excitement about something, I have learned to pay attention. My Wise Self recognizes those Divinely inspired moments. My introduction to Tina Wheeler's Epitome Collection was such a jolt. I was so impacted, I decided to put together this video. Check it out: I've Been Epitomized

The Sound of My Bravery

2013-05-25T09:54:00.001-07:00

For many of us, it is not a question of whether we believe in God. The question is whether we believe God believes in us. Are we enough? Are we enough for him to support our dreams? Are we enough that he would enable us, guide us and most of all, throw the weight of his support in our direction. I'm so grateful that at a point where I was tired of trying to act brave and just got down to the real troubling question that had nipped at my heels throughout most of my adult life, He showed up for me. It was do-or-die conversation with God, the hard conversation where everything was on the line. http://ow.ly/lotnN

Ordinary Is The New Extraordinary

2013-05-24T23:51:00.001-07:00

Announcing my new radio show, ORDINARY IS THE NEW EXTRAORDINARY. Launching Sunday, June 2, 2013, 8:30pm - 9:30pm on BlogTalkRadio.com. I am so excited. Why should Father's Day be one day, I've declared June to be the month of the man. Accordingly, my guests will be men who have overcome the odds and are making a difference in the lives of others. For more information about the show, go to http://www.blogtalkradio.com/bonnie-kaye/2013/06/03/ordinary-is-the-new-extraordinary. Yay!

The Sound of My New Space

2013-04-24T05:46:00.002-07:00

Hello Friends, it's hard to believe that it's been 20 days since I last posted. I've been in a whirlwind. My book launch was April 6th - woohoo - and it was a great success. I gave it all I had the entire Launch Week culminating with my official launch. What I wasn't prepared for was the emotional low that followed. You see I had been high octane behind the scenes for 3 months. Growing three businesses and self publishing a book ain't no joke! Even now, I don't know how I did it all - even with help. I was P-U-S-H-I-N-G hard to get this baby out and once it was over I felt relief. I could finally go to bed at a decent hour. I could breathe. Still, I hit a real low. I didn't expect it quite honestly. I thought that the work I had done with my Business Strategist and the products and services we had put together would be enough for me to move efficiently on the other side. I was wrong.

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THE 'FIT SQUAD: New Client Alert: Suzette R. Hinton-Author of "The...

2013-04-08T21:25:00.001-07:00

THE 'FIT SQUAD: New Client Alert: Suzette R. Hinton-Author of "The...: This past week, The 'Fit Squad had the pleasure of styling a wonderful new client. She is such an inspiration and gave us the oppor...

The Sound of My Life: More from Jackie (Part 3)

2013-03-28T08:10:00.001-07:00

Freedom Morning

2013-03-20T05:44:00.000-07:00

There it was again. That torturous theme that wakes me up crying and in so much emotional pain. Trying to talk to someone and they refuse to listen to me. I don't know what happened in my child hood that was so traumatic that I have this recurring dream...READ MORE

2013-03-17T20:43:00.001-07:00

Today I posted invitations to my book launch. I am so excited about April 6th. Already people are securing their spots with free tickets through Eventbrite's website, http://www.thesoundofmylife.eventbrite.com. Today, I reread my book as if I was a reader. I found some small things that needed to be tweaked here and there, but all and all, it is ready. Once I've gotten back the copyright information, the book will be ready to ship. Until then, we'll take pre-orders so that folks will be able to receive their book early enough to have it at the launch..READ MORE.

Book Launch Exactly A Month Away

2013-03-06T13:56:00.002-08:00

Book cover....CHECK!
Landing page being developed...CHECK!

It's exactly 30 days until my book launch. The excitement is growing and I feel it inside. I ate breakfast and lunch today....CHECK! Oh so important. I got to practice what I preach. I tell the folks I coach to take extraordinary self care, so I've made a pact with myself to do the same.

My sweet boyfriend came over yesterday and let me put my feet in his lap while he looked at television and I typed on the laptop. He wouldn't let me kiss him with my Tilapia and onion breath though. Got to show him where in the manual it says the boyfriend is suppose to let the girlfriend kiss him no matter what...lol.

It's those times that keep us grounded and sane. Love, light and positive energy. No drama. No negativity allowed. Nothing but staying open so that I can flow with where God is growing me to. When I'm not concentrating on all that I have to do, I actually feel like I'm walking on water.

You know that Bible story in the New Testament where the disciples are in the boat and fear Jesus walking towards them on the water. They think he's a ghost at first. But that daredevil Peter says to him,"If you are Jesus, bid me to come and walk on the water." Jesus simply answers, "Come." Who in their right mind, not knowing if it's Jesus or not, would get out of the boat? Most folks wouldn't.

I thought about that as I meditated today and talked with God about all that's happening around me. At first, I was lying in bed talking with him nonchalantly but something else took over and before I knew it, I sat straight up in the bed and with tears streaming down my face declared, "You told me when I was a child, 'Don't put me in a box. I'm too big for that.' " If You're outside the box, then I want to be too. Bid me to join you!! I don't want anything the box has. I don't want to be confined. I want to walk on the water with you. And I don't want to get back in the boat (limitation) unless you are getting into the boat too." I meant that thang, y'all. I meant it down to my very bones.

God is a GREAT BIG God. And I want his predetermined GREAT BIGNESS for my life. It's enough. I don't have to be like anybody else or covet what anyone else has. I don't have to measure my success by any other standard. If it rings true for me, then that's enough. Not everybody is going to be monetarily rich whether they employ me as their life coach or enroll in my coaching program. But if it's what is needed for them to fulfill their purpose in life, then nothing will be able to stop money from running after them, jumping them and filling their accounts. The wealth is to tap into your authentic core. You own unique sound. And I know I'm gifted to lead those who want to go. How that will manifest in your life, only God knows. This I do know though. You'll feel alive as you follow. The more attuned you become to that Knowing inside of you, that North Star, the more joy, contentment and satisfaction you'll have with your life. This is what I'm living and this is why I'm so excited. I'm listening, I'm staying true and when I feel myself deviating or being moved by my ego, I take a deep breath, check back in again and ask God for help so that I stay true to myself. I know the sound of my truest self. That's where the power lies!!!

Book Launch Prep is Accelerating

2013-03-04T14:34:00.000-08:00

The closer the book launch gets the more accelerated things are becoming. Interimly however, I've heard such great well-wishes from folks. Some believe that the book is going to be a best seller and have encouraged me to imagine it, claim it, look for it and all the other it's. Despite my efforts to mindmeld with the faith of what they are saying, something inside of me has been resisting it. I didn't fully understand. When I first felt that resistance, I attributed it to not wanting to be disappointed. You know how we do. We believe that if we don't get our hopes up, we won't be disappointed if it doesn't happen. Now that I have had time to get centered and tune in to my Wise Self, I believe I understand why there is a caution.

I have to keep my ego in check. I'm no different from the next person in that. I just strive to stay conscious to what trips me up or takes me out of that centered place. When I move from cooperating with my Wiser Self to having to prove something, it takes me out of authentic grace to fear-induced anxiety. It's so easy to slip back. I am very mindful of that. A main message of my book is to tune in to the sound of your wiser voice. Not the ego voice. Not the voice of society. Not the voice of the overachiever. That pure voice that knows what you must do, when you must do it, and taps you on the shoulder when it's time.

That voice never leads you wrong. It has no other agenda but to move you from where you are to Something Greater. Isn't that wonderful! It leads and guides without forethought of what other people will think or if you will fail. It simply beckons you to follow it. Above all that my ego can fathom - which normally is material in some way, shape or form - the purest part of me simply wants to live in harmony with that voice. So, honestly, I don't care what vehicle the God of the Universe has selected to take me there. I truly believe the book plays a part but I'm not certain of how yet. So, I don't want to read into it, I just want to be ever hearing and ever following the sound. Freedom to follow the sound of my own voice--yes! No limits. No boundaries. Just imagining it in my God-likeness and doing all that that imagination evokes. That is it.

Tapping Into the Joy

2013-03-02T09:42:00.001-08:00

When I woke up this morning, I was so tired. The adrenalin of last week, gone! It's my fault. I was so enmeshed in prelaunch details last week that I didn't eat like I was suppose to. I didn't take my vitamins for two days straight. And I stayed up nightly past 12 midnight. So not the right thing to do.  Trust, my body is letting me know it now.

I've got a lot to do; yet, trying to urge my body from underneath those covers on a beautiful Saturday morning, not!  Rather than fight with myself, I called my sister on the phone and sang happy birthday to her. We talked and that was energizing. She read to me Debbie Ford's words that she had found online. We went to her website and breathed them in together. Such a dynamic woman who transitioned into eternity just a couple of weeks ago.  She was 57. I hate I didn't follow her journey while she was alive.  Nevertheless, she has left quite a legacy for all who remain. Such a rich life!

Life isn't about a laundry list of things to do, but simply being out loud.

No Debbie didn't write that, I just did. That was fresh out of my awareness. As I reflect back to earlier this week, I got seduced back into the urgency of the doing.  The more I made that my focus, the more tired I became.  Trying to finalize the book cover, we did edit after edit after edit until I felt us all losing steam. In that moment, I heard my Wise Self say, "It's not about perfection." In that moment, I was reminded of what I already knew. Perfect covers don't sell books. So I breathed and released it.

Same thing with trying to select just 15 images when there are 152 phenomenal photographs to choose from. I solicited help of friends and my Business Strategist to help me to narrow it down. As life would have it, none of us had the same tastes or the same preferences. Again, my Wise Self intervened, "What is it about you that you want people to see? What pictures best capture that?" So, I'm forwarding those selections to the photographer. Besides, it's not like he's going to destroy the others. So I breathed and released it.

Herein lies the self monitoring function of your Wise Self. He or she reminds you of the bigger intention.  What's most important in the grand scheme of your life. Having taken a step back, I see that the more caught up I got in doing, the more my ego was taking center stage. And the more my ego took center stage, the less mindful I became of me. My ego was draining me, concentrating on all that stuff.  The brief station break with my sister brought me back. I felt the joy of the moment. It reminded me of the joy I feel when I am centered and rested.  All that needs to be done gets done.

So I have declared this as flow with it day. Nothing forced, just tapping into the joy and letting that effervesce in whatever way it chooses.  And I will stop to eat.

Overachiever No More

2013-02-28T06:07:00.003-08:00

Today's blog is a full circle moment. Me, like many of you were taught that hard work pays off. As a result, if I wasn't working hard at something, it wasn't worth much to me. Overachiever's complex, you could call it. You know, the belief that you have to be smarter than the rest and work harder than the least to get ahead. Though I understand the context as a person of color, it can be a stumbling block when you don't know your true value. My full circle moment brings me to what I've learned.

Overachieving makes the goal the end all-be all. We fill our lives with goal setting. Got to reach the goal, we tell ourselves. But if you haven't been present in the journey, you'll get to the finish line and wonder what it was all for. A goal alone is not enough to bring satisfaction. Ask those who have worked their whole lives and have attained much materially but have no relationship with their children now grown. You have to be able to live, laugh and love else it's hardly worth it.

Overachieving makes it hard to listen to your internal compass. You're so focused on the results that you can miss all the cues, whispers and signals of your Wiser Self. Taking a page from my own life, when I went to college I had no idea what I wanted to major in. So when it came time to declare a major, I didn't know what to do. I went to see my guidance counselor, took a test and she said the results were high in math and high in psychology. Being that my goal was to find a good job, I discounted my first love psychology and majored in math instead. My reason? One, I would get out of college on time and two, there was more potential in math to make more money...so I was told.

I disregarded the whisper. My Inner Wisdom knew that psychology was linked to my calling in life. That's why I was enamored with it. Of course, being young and barely in my 20's, I only knew what I knew - absolutely nothing...lol. I went all past my intuition, my gut, and chose math. True, I have an aptitude for math and accounting but my calling, math is not. My calling is more linked to my path and how I was able to overcome the trauma's and hurts.

What I have learned is this. I don't have to strive for what I'm called to do. All I have to do is get in position. Align myself with the wisdom inside and act accordingly. It's not about reaching a goal but living my best life. Everything that I'm suppose to have will run and overtake me. How do I know this? It's happening right now. So, I've turned in my overachiever's card and have placed my stakes in purposeful ground.

Too Big for the Box

2013-02-27T06:10:00.001-08:00

It's becoming the norm. Wake up at 7:00am. Roll over to the left side of the bed. Reach for my laptop awaiting on the floor below. Plug in the battery charger. Open it up. Type, type...rat-a-tat-tat. What a ride I'm on!

Who would have thought that my life would be so exciting! Photo shoots, book covers, videos, collaborative sessions - a darn good man - smiling, creating and attracting the life I want. And did I say a darn good man?

I feel the energy of this next level every single morning. And despite being dog tired by the end of the day, I have a hard time shutting it off. Like the Skittles commercial, I feel like the little boy that starts vibrating with such joy he bursts into hundred of little Skittles.

I prayed for this. I prayed that I would get up every morning excited about my day. I prayed that I'd live my life on my terms. I hated being at somebody else's beck and call. I wanted to do my life my way. If you had asked me a year ago today, I couldn't have dreamed that this would be my today. I was grieving a huge loss, hated going to work so badly I could hardly get out of bed and was being tortured by menopausal symptoms. I didn't know right from left. All I knew was agony of the soul. Sure, I smiled and only a few people knew I was hurting so badly. But every morning and every night my soul wailed bitterly. You know how it feels. It's like life has spun you around so fast that everything is a blur and you can't get your balance.

Grief gave way to no money. The savings I had when I first went on leave and later left my job dwindled down to maybe, what, $10 or $20 dollars. Had it not been for my boyfriend, my sister, an old college chum and my son, I shudder to think of what would have happened. Sure, I had good girlfriends who came by, sat with me, let me cry, watched movies with me, brought over food and all, but that was because of the death of my cousin. Little did they know that their sister was broke as Job's turkey. It was the pits. I think that's why people cling to stuff that they honestly don't want. They fear being broke, alone, isolated. I was no different. I was so emotionally entangled in my then-job for those very reasons that I shed more tears of exhaustion over that job than tears of grief. My employer kept calling me. It became so burdensome that when my cell would ring, I was afraid to look at it.

I can't blame him too much though. I helped to create his dependency and that of the company. His life was still going on. The company still needed to operate. Accounting still needed to be done. I was proud that I was the only person that knew my job. It made me feel needed and valuable. Still, though initially disguised as a rope extended to me to take me higher, it was ever so insidiously wrapping around my neck, tightening with every call. That's why we don't need to let our ego build our life. It makes us feel good in the beginning but it is a trap later. Who wants to be tangled up in something that won't even allow you to grieve one of the biggest losses in your life?

It had to happen. Not my cousin dying, but my coming to that place. That place where you cannot make yourself do it one...more...day. I understand it all now. I understand why small business owners and entrepreneurs are as they are. They hate working for somebody else. They need their own. There's a dream with their names attached and it haunts them until they answer that call.

In my book--that will be available in the Spring by the way (shameless plug....lol)--I talk about God telling me "Don't put me in a box. I'm too big for that." I didn't understand it then but I finally get it. I've just had an aha! God's voice was my voice. It was His Image inside of me, the real me, sharing something vital with me about me: Don't put Suzette in a box. She's too big for that. Wow! How could I have ever thought a box would be okay no matter how big or cleverly wrapped? A box is still a box. A prison is still a prison. I had to break out. It was declared way back when I was a child. Anything that tried to box me in had to let me go. Either they were going to walk away or I was. It's nobody's fault. That's simply what happens when you're out of place or your life lesson is over. We might think we're suppose to be there until we're old, gray and toothless, but a Someone Wiser than us knows differently.

Well, I'm off to write my Inspirational Corner for Fine Success Magazine. I've enjoyed sharing. To find out more about my book and activities leading up to the launch, go to and LIKE my Purposeful Connections Facebook page. More to come. Cyber hug!

HOW BIG IS YOUR DREAM?

2013-02-26T12:40:00.001-08:00

HOW BIG IS YOUR DREAM?

Who's On Your Team?

2013-02-13T12:13:00.000-08:00

Today, while watching Good Morning America, I saw the words: Who's On Your Team? It was a caption that was part of a woman's story who is going through the rigors of chemo. It spoke to what we need when we are going through life's challenges. They also talked about Robin Roberts and the far-reaching support she's received throughout her difficult treatment. I began to think about this time in my life.

Who's on my team?

With all the people I interact with, who is on my team? I'm reminded of the book, The Five Love Languages, where Gary Chapman has identified 5 ways love is communicated. He believes that if you can understand your partner's love language and he understands yours, you can have a satisfying relationship. It is a very thoughtful book and has helped me to identify my love language. My primary and secondary languages are quality time and acts of service. I'm not content with merely talking on the phone, emailing, texting and the like. Connections are important to me. I want to see the person. I also value their involvement. If a person is close to me and doesn't show up for what's significant in my life, I question the substance of the relationship. I use to get really bothered about that and in some cases I still do. It depends on how close that person is to me and what expectations go with that.

Knowing this has called into question what I need going forward. In the Spring of 2013, I will be launching my first book. This is really, really big for me. Like my 50th birthday and my housewarming, this is right up there for me. I realize the whole point of a book launch is to introduce your book and to encourage people to buy it. Just as important to me is having folks come. If a person I consider a close friend foregoes the launch and purchases the book, I'll feel let down. I will. It's not merely about the goal; just as important is having them share the experience.

Most of us extend love to others in ways meaningful to us. Though it may make us feel good, the other person might not understand that. All this is of consideration at this time in my life. If I feel that I am extending myself to speak another's love language but they aren't extending themselves likewise, then it doesn't work. That's when I dial it back a bit. Sounds easy, right? Not really because emotions are often involved. That's why I've made a conscious decision. If a relationship requires more than I can give, I stop and dial it back.

When a rocket soars to a certain height, the rocket boosters have to fall off else the rocket will blow up. I think that's the same way life is. I've finally found what I am called to do and I am so grateful. I actually feel as if I'm soaring at a higher altitude. I have something to look forward to. I will be working for myself doing what I LOVE. What a gift! As a result, I'm not in the same place that I use to be. I'm not wishing. I am doing. Some friends will make the transition with me but others will not. That makes me feel sad. If I could bundle everybody up together and physically take them I would, but that's not how life is. Sure, I can choose to be disappointed, hurt, angry or I can choose to be grateful for the time shared and the value they brought to me. I choose the latter.

I welcome with open arms and an open spirit all who God will send my way. And I bless those whose season is over.

A God Idea!

2013-02-06T10:14:00.001-08:00

Have you ever had an encounter during your sleep? No, I don't mean your husband spooning you unexpectedly....lol. I mean a Divine encounter. Now, I've had meaningful dreams, but I can only remember one other time when I knew Something Greater transmitted a creative idea to me. It was when I was a young mother and the Minister of Music at my church. Our praise team was in a flow of creative energy where the members were all writing original music. It was a glorious time, one that has not since been duplicated for me musically. Well, it was during this time that, while asleep, I heard an up tempo song being sung by a choir. I heard the lyrics, the arrangements, the vocal parts, everything! I later titled it "Rejoice." It had a vibe like Barry White's Love Theme. I can still remember it to this day:

Rejoice
Rejoice
Rejoice
Rejoice

The Lord is good
He's wonderful
Holy is His Name
The Lord is marvelous
Filled with splendor
Holy is His Name

Different from dreams where you have images and scenes, this was a sound. No images. Nothing preceded it or followed it. No choir director. No robed singers. None of that. Just the song in my head while I slept.

This encounter was the same. I knew I was asleep. I was very aware of that. Yet, I heard a new idea. I'm not going to put it all out there as it is being developed, and just as important, timing is critical. But I will say that it was a God-idea. I had not even conceived doing something like this and I, with baited anticipation, await the time when I will implement it. In the meantime, I am even more certain that I'm smack dab in the center of where I am purposed to be. Creativity and joy are always byproducts.