Comments for 52stories

Comment on Stairway to Heaven II by Lauren

Lauren — Sat, 10 Nov 2007 17:29:56 +0000

This is an amazing story! I can’t believe it! This is one story I will have to share with my family. It truly moved me to tears.

Keep writing!

Comment on Stairway to Heaven II by john.ribar.org » Blog Archive » 52stories - 1.13

john.ribar.org » Blog Archive » 52stories - 1.13 — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 15:47:55 +0000

[...] Stairway to Heaven II - in which the bus driver climbs the stairway, and finds out what awaits him at the top. [...]

Comment on Stairway to Heaven by DanielleM

DanielleM — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 02:07:37 +0000

Good job with sharing the bus driver’s sense of confusion when the chessboard and players disappeared, and his subsequent attempts at trying to figure out what could really be happening to him! I’m looking forward to hearing about the ascent and questions…

Comment on The Awakening by DanielleM

DanielleM — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 01:55:21 +0000

I liked this a lot, and it fit the picture so well. I loved the line “all the potential for glass blown against damp skin…” — very evocative.

Comment on 99 Steps by DanielleM

DanielleM — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 01:49:01 +0000

Wow — nicely done! Very clever and inventive plotting with the rewards/punishments! (Remind me never to get on your bad side… ) As with John’s comments above, I really would have liked to get more clues about Kate’s personality so that I’d have an inkling of whether or not she deserved this treatment. You did a great job of describing her physical ordeal, and with moving the action forward and building up the suspense. I hope to see a continuation of this one!

Comment on The Trek by DanielleM

DanielleM — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 00:33:52 +0000

Great story! I thought you did a great job with description, for example the bits you put in about rush hour in the city, men with ties loosened, women with frazzled hair, the smell
of exhaust. I felt caught up in the chase where Jack thought he was on the trail of the “thief”, and I thought it was very sweet how you ended it.

Comment on Take Your Kid To Work Day by DanielleM

DanielleM — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 00:22:31 +0000

Well done, I like how this story worked with the picture prompt very much. A question — is Greg’s job really a legal one? (Repo man?) and if so would the bike rider be a “mark”? (Maybe that is proper repo-man terminology, I’m not sure — it just made me wonder as the reader if the father was lying to the son about his job, and if he was really stealing the bike…)

Comment on Fish Story by DanielleM

DanielleM — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 23:49:26 +0000

I enjoyed this story very much! I especially liked how you started with Tommy’s point of view and segued into Anne’s, and I think you did a great job of showing us Anne’s personality through her dialogue.

Comment on Fish Story by johnRibar

johnRibar — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 10:39:05 +0000

Really good. I liked the flow of the story - you kept it moving without much bogging down. I wonder if there is a way to weave the back story in a little more, instead of having it all together in one paragraph - I feel kind of rushed through it. But it didn’t hurt the overall story - more of a tweak idea. I was happy to see the ending; as Scott said, good side of humanity!

Comment on Fish Story by Skought

Skought — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 20:11:26 +0000

Lots of humanity. I buy 100% of it.
I suggest when changing POV, to make it more obvious, a graphical tilda or a double/triple return works wonders.
LOVE the puns interlaced throughout. The dialougue was fantastic.