Did you have a solid plan for getting stronger, building muscle and shedding fat, knowing exactly what to do every time you set foot inside a weight room? Or were you simply going through the motions of working out, without clear direction, focus and progression?

How were you dealing with inner resistance on days that you didn’t particularly look forward to making the trip all the way down to the gym? Were you able to overpower the sorry excuses your mind was coming up with? Or did you give in like a gutless wimp, rationalizing to yourself it was okay to skip training this time and you’d start again next Monday? We all know how that ended…

Did you prepare healthy, unprocessed, nutritious meals from fresh ingredients? Or was the sweet siren song of delicious pizza, pastries and candy too much to handle once you parked your lazy ass on the couch after a long, exhausting day at work and flipped on the telly?

Were you sound asleep by 23.00 on most nights, like you know you should have been? Or was watching stupid infomercials and late night talk shows more important than quality sleep and regeneration?

Which course of action did you choose at social gatherings? Staying up late and getting hammered at parties week after week with deadbeats or waking up refreshed and completing an early morning training session while everybody else was nursing a terrible hangover?

Maybe you did some stupid stuff, got injured and spent the better part of 2012 focusing on bodyweight exercises and rehab activities, building yourself back up like I did.

Or perhaps you simply got lost listening to too many people, chasing contradictory goals, ending up spinning your wheels with no progress to show for your efforts.

Whatever choices you’ve made in the past, now is the perfect opportunity to wipe the slate clean and make sure 2013 is gonna be your best year yet. I know it’ll be for me. I expect continual progress, consistent strength development, injury-free training, new personal records and shitloads of hustlin’ in and out of the gym.

Here’s how to make it happen…

1. Stop chasing a magic pill.

There are no secrets. Whoever is trying to convince you otherwise is a scammer and should not be listened to.

2. Become a lifer.

No more “I’ll give this new training program a go for the next 6 weeks, wake up jacked like Tom Hardy in Warrior and be done with it”. You’re gonna get that nonsense out of your head right now. Physical excellence requires an immense amount of dedication over months, years, decades.

Prepare to be lifting weights, eating quality foods and improving yourself in all kinds of ways literally for the rest of your life – starting today until the day you die.

3. Don’t program hop.

Pick any good program (could be 5×5, 5/3/1 or anything else) and do it for at least a year, keeping it as simple as you possibly can. Stop looking for shortcuts that don’t exist. Shut your brain off and fucking lift weights.

4. Write down your goals and pursue them with passion.

What gets measured, gets improved.

I have been slacking off in this department as of late, so the other day I wrote down a few numbers I wanna reach this year… numbers that I should’ve hit months ago. Needless to say, I’m friggin’ stoked!

5. Get your priorities in order.

Training + good food + quality sleep + little stress = fit

No/crappy training + lots of junk + staying up late + getting worked up over minutia = fat

Which is it gonna be?

6. Lift, drag, push, pull, carry heavy shit.

There’s nothing more effective than that for building raw strength.

7. Screw fad diets.

All they do is help you lose strength, muscle and water.

8. Base your eating habits on fresh, natural foods.

Fish, meat, poultry, eggs, nuts, fruits, vegetables.

Nobody ever got fat eating those.

9. Get rid of your TV. Read books instead.

If you chose to follow only one point on this entire list, this one would have the biggest impact on the quality of your life.

10. Limit your training sessions to 60 minutes or less.

If you can’t get shit done in an hour, you’re either following a less-than-optimal training program or dragging rest periods too long. Whichever the case, you’re wasting valuable time.

11. Start every new training cycle light.

The #1 enemy of solid progress is ego. There’s no worse feeling than starting too heavy due
to inflated expectations, thinking you’re the baddest mofo in your gym, only to hit a plateau and having to deload 3 weeks into your strength training program.

The first 2-3 weeks of ANY intelligent plan will have you train with submaximal loads
building a foundation of speed and perfect technique, getting accustomed to your program and staying CONSISTENT with it.

12. Sleep at least 8 hours every night.

Do I really need to explain this one?

13. Switch to a thumbless grip on overhead pressing from the front (military and push press).

After implementing this small adjustment, most people will notice how the bar path feels “right”. But refrain from this with the bench press unless you know what you’re doing. They don’t call it the suicide grip for nothing.

14. Make training fun.

I could give you the best training program for building strength and losing fat known to man but if you’re not enjoying what you’re doing, your results will never be anything more than average.

15. Stop wasting your time on expensive, bogus supplements that do nothing for your health.

Just because a supplement manufacturer is pushing high-protein, low-carb “energy bars” doesn’t mean they’ll do jack shit for you.

16. Choose the least amount of exercises required to get the job done.

The biggest fitness fallacy is that beginners need a lot of variety in terms of execise selection. No, they don’t. What they need is a handful of big, compound movements – pulls, presses, chins, rows, squats and deads – and training them with a (relatively) high frequency, perfect form and progressive overloading.

17. Do at least as much vertical pressing as horizontal pressing.

You want to make sure that for every set of bench pressing you do, you’re performing at least an equal amount of overhead pressing (military press/push press/behind the neck presses etc.) as well.

This not only builds stronger shoulders (obviously) but will prevent any muscle imbalances that may occur due to an over-reliance on the bench press as the primary upper body lift.

18. Complain less.

The fact that you’re reading this site implies you’ve got access to the Internet and a roof over your head. Which is a luxury millions of people on this very planet are lacking.

Remember that the next time you’re about to bitch and moan about how tough your life is.

19. Cut your rest periods.

For a long time I bought into the notion that you should rest several minutes between sets on the big barbell exercises. Through experimenting and learning from more experienced guys, I found that this is simply not necessary.

However, don’t turn your sessions into circuit training either. Your main objective at the gym is still to get bigger, stronger and faster.

20. Perform soft tissue & mobility work 5-7 times per week.

As Eric Cressey says, foam rolling and lacrosse/tennis ball work are like having the world’s cheapest massage therapist. You’ll thank me when you’re still able to run, jump, lift and throw at 50 while all your friends complain how they’re too old to do anything remotely active.

Get one of these

21. Set PR’s in training as often as possible…

Always approach every training session with the intention of beating your previous best.

22. … But respect the ebb and flow of training.

Beyond the beginner stage, improving your lifts every week is no longer possible. Some days you crush shit, some days you feel like shit but it’s consistency in executing the program regardless of how you feel on any given day that ultimately matters in the long run.

Just train, strive to get better and don’t worry about it.

23. Don’t fear carbs.

Eat starchy carbs (rice, taters, yams) at night after your strength training session.

24. Limit the time you spend on Facebook, Twitter or other avenues of social media.

Here is a great tool for making your Internet browsing more productive.

25. Keep a journal where you record your thoughts.

Not just for lifting. For life. You’ll never know which one of the hundreds of ideas passing through your head each and every day would have made you incredibly successful unless you capture them on a piece of paper to be acted on later.

26. Add single-leg work into your sessions.

Single-leg exercises are invaluable for athletes. They increase mobility, stability and reduce the likelihood of injury while giving the body a break from heavy spinal loading.

27. Learn to let go, relax and say “Fuck It”.

The world is a light place, don’t take it seriously. You won’t make it out of this life alive no matter what you do. So you might as well have a laugh before you go.

28. Drink more water.

Cut out sugary juices and energy drinks.

29. Compete.

Playing, jumping, running and throwing on the field or pitch while playing a sport is an excellent way to add in a healthy sense of competition while you’re getting into shape, and should not be overlooked as a conditioning method. It’s a lot of fun, too.

30. Stop hating on people who are more attractive/popular/successful/*insert desirable adjective* than you are.

What other people are doing or thinking is none of your business. You can only work on improving your body and mind.

31. Include phases of higher volume into your training.

Low volume training is great for making you stronger but can lead to achy joints.

32. Listen to In Flames regularly.

‘Nuff said.

33. Don’t be afraid to piss people off.

Nobody will remember the guy who spent his entire life tip-toeing every line that society put in front of him. Never let anybody dictate to you what your place in this world is or blindly succumb to other people’s expectations of you.

That’s a recipe for a sad, boring, mediocre life.

34. Find a gym where many people are stronger than you are.

You always want to surround yourself with people who are better or more accomplished than you are in any aspect of life. You’re forced to work twice as hard and learn twice as fast if you want to move up and gain the respect of these people as an equal to them.

35. Don’t psyche yourself up for a lift all the time.

By all means, get fired up for a big squat attempt and crush that weight. But sniffing ammonia and banging your head through a wall between sets of face pulls is simply moronic, and will compromise recovery.

36. Always question any fitness or life advice you receive.

Even if you read it on this site. I could be wrong. Don’t become a brainless sheep. Learn to think for yourself.

37. Master advanced bodyweight exercises.

Just check out the ridiculous upper body development of U.S. gymnast Brandon Wynn below to comprehend why I’m a huge fan of them.

38. Add strategic deloads or off weeks to your training schedule.

Nobody can train balls to wall 52 weeks in a year. Take some time off and come back stronger.

39. Donate to charity.

Millions of people on this planet live in poverty or nutritional scarcity. Sending a couple of tenners per month their way is not gonna break your finances but could make a huge difference to someone in real need.

40. Start every training session with an explosive full-body movement, such as a hang clean or 1 arm dumbbell snatch.

This is an awesome way to lubricate the joints, activate the muscles and fire up the central nervous system before you move on to the main barbell strength exercise of the day.

41. Never use your age as an excuse.

Whether you’re 30 or 55, you should be dominating the guys 10-20 years your junior. Not being viewed as a sorry old man desperately trying to get into shape. You’ve been handing the young’uns their asses in training throughout 2012, right?

No? Keep on reading and turn the tables around this year…

42. Remove excess clutter and bullshit from your life.

The more you own, the more owns you. Possession of physical products brings about a ton of mental baggage as well.

One of the most relieving moments of my life was when I moved to a different city and posted up an ad for people to come by my old apartment, instructing them to pick up and carry away everything I owned at the time – except for my laptop, basic clothing and a few personal items.

You haven’t enjoyed material freedom until all your belongings fit into one suitcase.

43. Read fiction an hour or two before bed.

Doing this helps your brain wind down, allowing you to pass out like a roofied sorority chick at a frat party. Dean Koontz and Agatha Christie always do the trick for me.

44. Eat saturated fat.

Saturated fat raises your natural test levels.

45. Stop reading so many health/fitness sites and discussion boards online.

Pick one whose message resonates with you. Trying to follow any and every trainer/coach/expert/guru under the sun will leave you confused as a blind lesbian in a fish market.

A few good guys to follow are Jay Ferruggia, Jim Wendler or Paul Carter.

46. Full-body programs and upper/lower splits work extremely well for the majority of population who simply want to get stronger and look great naked.

Arthur Saxon, Kaz and Captain Kirk would agree with me.

47. Get rid of people who don’t contribute to your life.

You’re the average of the five people you spend most time with. Cast out every energy-leeching, time-wasting, productivity-killing parasite who doesn’t have a positive impact on your life.

48. Tell the ones who do contribute how much they mean to you.

They will not be around forever.

49. Respect science, experiment on your own.

I’m all for a scientific approach to training and nutrition. But it’s one thing to read about findings from guys in white lab jackets in the medical and scientific community vs. actually being responsible for designing a program with the goal of adding 30 kilograms to Sean Soccerplayer’s back squat in the off-season.

Science will always be years behind what the leaders are doing in the real world to generate results for clients/athletes.

There’s no wiser teacher than time spent under the bar.

50. Build strength, don’t demonstrate it.

How often have you hit a plateau, yet stubbornly insisted on piling on more weight to the bar week after week, only to notice you’re actually getting weaker?

You want to DOMINATE a weight in training, not grind yourself into the ground all the time. Save that for the rare competition or planned max effort day.

51. If you can’t maintain a straight lower back or feel beat up all the time when deadlifting, switch to rack pulls.

Pulling off mats/blocks/pins in a rack reduces the ROM slightly which allows most people to deadlift with good form, and is also easier to recover from than pulls off the floor.

52. Don’t stress about shit.

Stress kills.

53. Eat more fruits and vegetables.

Preferably multiple times per day.

54. Practice often…

High frequency training rules for learning a new skill quickly.

Let’s say you had never thrown hoops in your entire life and Tony Soprano placed a basketball in your hands, informing you that he expects you to play point guard for his side and win the game against the Russian mobsters taking place in 30 days – or he’ll cut off your coglioni.

Would you rather practice a couple of times per week or train any and every opportunity you found to save your ass (or balls in this context) from annihilation during the month leading up to the challenge?

Thus, if your goal is to go from 0 to 10 handstand push-ups or nail your kettlebell swing technique or play guitar like Jimi Hendrix, you want to train as often as possible. Perhaps even every day.

55. … But don’t go to failure on a regular basis.

High frequency only works when your recovery between training sessions is fast. Training to failure repeatedly impairs recovery.

56. Spend an extra 5 minutes before every workout on rehab/prehab exercises for your shoulders.

Shoulder problems are one of the nastiest types of injuries you can inflict on yourself as anyone who has struggled with them will attest to (hell, just ask me!)

Some good movements for getting the shoulders ready for the upcoming training session are lateral raises, band pullaparts and shoulder dislocations with a band or broomstick.

57. Perform not only axial-loaded exercises (squats and deadlifts) but anteroposterior-loaded exercises as well.

Hip thrusts, reverse hypers and weighted back extensions will allow you to pack more junk in the trunk. Let’s spend more time training the glutes and hamstrings, and rid the world of pancake asses for good.

Thanks, Bret Contreras, for this tip.

58. Avoid negative people and thoughts.

Cut out all the deadbeats in your life.

Those people don’t merely pull you down to their level of endless worry and negativity, they also fill your mind with sorry excuses, a scarcity mindset and destructive habits such as procrastination, envy and laziness – the building stones of mental midgetry.

Associate only with positive-thinking, hard-working winners.

59. Warm up properly.

Benching the bar for 10-20 reps, then immediately piling on the weights for your heaviest set is a recipe for suboptimal performance and injury.

Working your way up with multiple sets of low reps will better prepare your body for the top set(s).

60. Use straps on pulling movements if needed.

A lot of times, grip strength is the limiting factor with rows or pulls. While many people would chastise the use of straps as “cheating”, using a weight that is 20-40% less than what you’d be able to handle with straps does not exactly equal smart training, does it? Which brings us to the next point…

61. Practice gripping on Captains of Crush grippers.

But ease into it. Excessive amounts of grip work can lead to elbow problems.

62. Build the quality of your existing relationships in real life, not the quantity of the superficial ones on Planet WWW.

A good place to start would be cutting your online contacts in half. Who the hell needs 1300 Facebook “friends”?

63. Don’t take your health for granted.

Chances are you’re not suffering from a deadly disease or bound to a wheelchair for the rest of your life. But all of that could change in an instant with a drunk driver swerving into you while you’re gazing at your car stereo, flipping through the channels, looking for a song to fire you up on your way to the gym.

Training and good health are a privilege. Treat them as such.

64. Use a thick bar or a pair of Fat Gripz on a regular one when doing barbell curls.

The added thickness makes it easier on the joints.

65. Always strive to make your training harder, not easier.

Paused squats and bench presses are great examples of this as they force you to go lighter while still making the exercise more difficult. Plus nothing is more effective for building bottom position strength than taking out the stretch reflex in a lift.

66. Consider wrapping up your training session with a strongman finisher.

This is a fun way to mix strength work with conditioning. Sandbag carry, sled push or farmer’s walks are three excellent choices to pick from – if you’ve got the equipment.

67. *shameless plug* Read this blog daily.

Anything I missed or did you come up with a list of better ideas? How will you make sure 2013 rocks? Please share your comments below.

In search of something soothing for my overworked brain, I walked over to my sturdy, trusty bookshelf and pulled out Eric Cressey’s Maximum Strength, which I vaguely remember reading a few years ago.

A relatively quick read with demonstrations of over 60 exercises, it features a 16-week strength training program designed to build lean mass and strength with four weekly training sessions.

Disclaimer: I’ve nothing to gain by recommending or not recommending a certain book. All opinions are unbiased and these reviews simply stem from the fact I like to read a lot and write down my thoughts. Yes, I’m geeky like that.

Background

“Eric Cressey is president and co-founder of Cressey Performance, a facility located just west of Boston, MA.  A highly sought-after coach for healthy and injured athletes alike, Eric has helped athletes at all levels – from youth sports to the professional and Olympic ranks – achieve their highest levels of performance in a variety of sports.

As a competitive powerlifter, Eric holds several state, national, and world records. A mainstay in the Powerlifting USA Top 100 lifts in his weight class, Cressey is rapidly approaching Elite status with competition bests of 540 squat, 402 bench, 650 deadlift, and 1532 total in the 165-pound weight class.  He is recognized as a coach who can jump, sprint, and lift alongside his best athletes to push them to higher levels – and keep them healthy in the process.”

Cressey has made a name for himself in the fitness industry in the niche of training baseball players and being their go-to guy in the off-season, and was recently voted #31 on the list of The 100 Most Influential People in Health and Fitness 2012.

While I don’t follow his blog on a regular basis anymore (I limit the time I spend online any given week and invest those hours saved into reading and learning from actual books), he’s, in my eyes, one of the best strength & conditioning coaches around.

The Good

* The Maximum Strength training program is a solid four-day per week, upper/lower split that has been time-tested to produce quick, quantifiable results. Every session is built around a basic barbell lift which is then followed by dumbbell, bodyweight or machine exercises.

* Soft tissue, mobility work and injury prevention – including how to properly warm up prior to a training session – are covered in detail; something that is rarely discussed in other books on building strength. Not really a surprise knowing Cressey’s background as rehab/corrective exercise specialist.

The Bad

* This is not a beginner program. Before & after 1RM numbers of a few guys who completed the 16-week plan are presented in the book, but you’ll notice that starting with 250+ pound squats and 300+ pound deadlifts, they weren’t rank novices.

The program calls for heavy loading straight out of the gate which requires enough time spent under the bar for excellent technique; something a novice undoubtedly lacks.

As such, I wouldn’t recommend it to a trainee entirely new to barbell/strength training. Such a person would benefit more from full-body sessions performed 3-5 times per week starting with light weights to learn proper form and milk the newbie gains for as long as possible.

* The nutrition section of the book is very abbreviated and contains a few glaring nutritional myths – linking the consumption of saturated fats with heart disease, and the recommendation to eat frequent meals every few hours – that have been debunked since Maximum Strength was first published in 2008.

The Verdict

Maximum Strength is a decent book. Nothing special, yet no filler either.

Follow the training plan and you will get stronger. Follow Cressey’s advice on reducing injuries and correcting muscle imbalances, and you’ll build a healthier body as well.

If you’re just starting proper strength training, I’d skip the book for now and come back after having attained at least a 1.5xBW squat.

Key Takeaways

1. While beginners can improve their strength using virtually any type of resistance training involving loads greater than 40% of 1RM, continued strength gains require further increases in training load to 70% of 1RM and above.

2. Make perfect technique virtually automatic on every exercise.

3. Soft tissue work and mobility exercises improve the basic health of the musculoskeletal system, improving posture, mobility, lifting technique and performance, and reducing injuries.

4. Performance is always measured with numbers.

When the results you seek from exercise are not clearly defined, then you’re merely working out. Your program lacks direction, focus and progression.

The way to keep your motivation level high over the long term is to set a new short-term performance goal after you achieve a goal.

5. Only a very small number of supplements are scientifically proven to enhance the benefits of resistance exercise, and their effect is modest.

A while back I wrote about women lifting weights and how they shouldn’t fear becoming too muscular in the process.

In a world where strength training gets confused with bodybuilding, everyone who touches weights that need to be moved with more effort than a bag of groceries is frowned upon. Particularly so if that person happens to be a woman.

Consequently, an entire generation of young adult women buy into the asinine notion that lifting weights turns them into a freakish bodybuilder chick and choose to use lesser means of or skip effective training altogether. For those brave enough to attend the gym outside of group training classes, Smith machine squats, stability ball training and the elliptical machine comprise a large part of their workouts.

Of course, we could argue until the second coming (mmm… don’t you just love that expression?) about what “effective training” means. My definition for it is:

Maximum results as fast as humanly possible.

As I’ve been saying for a long time, barbells, dumbbells and advanced bodyweight exercises provide the fastest, most quantifiable results when structured into a smart training plan.

Depending on the equipment available and the specific goals of the individual, strongman training/odd object lifting/kettlebells can be very effective tools as well.

But telling a woman to start training for strength is almost useless unless we tackle and remove the more pressing issue at hand…

Female image in the media: weak and skinny as inspiration

For as long as I can remember, through the use of extremely thin female models in ads, the media has brainwashed women of all ages into believing that skinny = attractive.

Back in the late 90′s when my buddies and I were playing two or three different sports as teenagers, many girls my age had no athletic hobbies, purposefully skipped breakfast and lunch at school (this was in an era way before intermittent fasting became popular), and smoked cigarettes to suppress appetite and remain slim.

Is it any wonder then, that these same girls who were never shown the right path as adolescents, develop an unhealthy relationship with food and weight as they evolve from kids to grown-ups.

Thin celeb models – the Kate Mosses, Victoria Beckhams or Gwyneth Paltrows of this world – are being admired and seen as a standard against which a woman should measure herself.

The quest of transforming her body into that of an emanciated cokehead runway model, starving herself with less than 1000 kcal/day, waking up at 5.30 to go for a 5 mile run every morning, attending a BodyPump class five times a week, skipping dessert and proudly sticking to a tuna salad instead, becomes the raison d’etre for many a young girl who doesn’t know any better.

Unfortunately, the Rocky montage she plays in her head does not end victoriously.

Albeit the buckets of tears and sweat she sheds…

Undeterred by the sweet siren songs of delicious holiday season dishes…

Despite the physical trials she puts herself through…

Regardless of following her ambitious plan to a T for 6 weeks…

Results stall.

Motivation wanes.

Doubt sets in.

“What am I doing wrong?”

Suddenly the coziness and warmth of her bed carries more allure than donning sweatpants and heading out of the door before dawn.

“I’ll get back to it first thing tomorrow”, she quietly promises to herself as she goes back to sleep.

Tomorrow turns into the day after. Day after turns into next week. And the week after that into another.

And the one after that is followed by a cold, hard slap across her face.

“I’m 5 pounds heavier than when I started. Fuck this!”

Time to throw in the towel.

Insanity, I say.

The only reason women look up to and desire to look like those weak, under-fed “models” pictured above is because they get so much face time. Everytime you’re skimming through the newest Cosmo you can count on being faced with shit like “7 Tips to Look Like Kate Moss in 6 Weeks”. Then women all around the globe wallow in self-pity for three days because they look nothing like her, finally stop shoveling countless chocolate bars down their pieholes and vow to religiously follow the liquid/no-carb/tofu salad/organic peanuts diet or whatever happens to be the hot “celebrity thing” at the moment.

Yet it NEVER WORKS.

Defeated, she pops open a bottle of wine, crashes onto the living room couch and flips on the telly… what’s this? Jennifer Anniston in an infomercial hyping a brand new training gadget that will give anyone toned muscles with only 10 minutes per day??

Where the hell is my credit card?!!

Social conditioning at its best.

The Solution

How about training for strength and performance? Take a look at this woman.

Holy shit that’s awesome! Not only has she got muscle in the right places (glutes, thighs). A nice, flat stomach and low bodyfat. Plus she’d kick pretty much anybody’s ass in training based on how focused she is in making that monkey bar course her punk bitch.

I think I just fell in love… or got a raging boner which is essentially the same thing when you get rid of all the ooey-gooey Hollywood crap and other stupid bullshit the society keeps feeding us.

Weight loss is nonsense.

Body composition is what matters.

Every female should make it a priority in her training to get stronger, build muscle and lose fat.

And when I say “stronger”, I don’t mean girl strong. I mean when people actually stop and stare at what you’re doing; when you’re handling more weight than the average guy who goes to the gym.

The Myth That Won’t Die

Quoting Mark Rippetoe:

“The vast majority of women cannot get large, masculine muscles from barbell training. If it were that easy, I would have them.

Women who do look like men have taken some rather drastic steps in that direction that have little to do with their exercise program.

Women who claim to be afraid to train hard because they “always bulk up too much” are often already pretty bulky, or “skinny fat” (thin but weak and deconditioned) and have found another excuse to continue life sitting on their butts.” (1)

We are a society where weakness and mediocrity overflow in abundance.

A bunch of incompetent cretins writing for women’s magazines or posing as authorities in the general media, hell, even the supposedly professional personal trainer who put you on a nice, cozy, machine-based program is feeding you this big & bulky crap.

You can’t escape that shit.

So whadda ya do?

Ignore them.

I say fuck ‘em all. Lift weights, strive for improvements over time by always challenging yourself in training, and make sure you’re eating like a man, not a girl.

You’ll thank me when your cardio bunny friends come to you for training advice after having witnessed you outlift most males in your gym and seeing the hot body you’ve obtained in the process.

The Real Truth

In life, your results tend to match the amount of effort you put into a given task.

Like I stated in the original post several months ago, muscle doesn’t magically appear out of thin air. Big eating, unwavering self-discipline and training out of your comfort zone is required.

If you’re in a calorie deficit, building muscle is damn hard. Not completely impossible, but certainly a lot more difficult than you’d expect. Furthermore, when you take someone who is genetically predisposed to not being able to pack on very much muscle (a woman) and put her on a plan where she’s burning more calories than taking in (further making muscle gains harder), I can’t fathom how they’re gonna “blow up”.

Trust me, you DO NOT end up looking anywhere close to a fitness model unless that’s your ambition and are willing to bust some serious ass over years to get there. People have no idea what it takes to get up to that level. They think you go to the gym twice a week, do some cardio, eat whatever’s in the fridge and lookit! You wake up one day all ripped as if you just walked out of a photoshoot. Pffft. That’s like me saying I’ll become Einstein if I take a few courses in quantum physics at the community college downtown.

BTW, I’ve noticed that this self-reported “getting bulky” part only occurs online. Go ask 100 natural female fitness models and bodybuilders whether their gains have come easy.

You’ll have a better chance of finding an ounce of honesty and integrity in a room full of politicians than getting a single “yes” for an answer. That should already tell you something.

Still, I’d love to see how these women are training and what/how much they’re eating when they’re claiming they can add any noticeable muscle mass in a few weeks…

The Proof

Merely a few months ago, the 2012 Olympics in London portrayed a vast array of women at the zenith of their athletic careers. On the field and at the track you could witness some of the most talented, dedicated and hottest people on this planet.

Are female athletes bulky even though they’re stronger and train harder, smarter and more often than 99.999% of the population?

I think they’re beautifully built. But then again, what the hell do I know.

After having bestowed Oktoberfest, Heidi Klum, currywurst, Scorpions and Gerd Müller upon the world in the past, the Germans have yet again brought something valuable to the platform with Julia Rohde (pictured above).

I Google’d her best lifts and apparently this lass – besides being very easy on the eye, which in and of itself is a remarkable feat for any German female – has posted personal bests of 108 kg in the clean & jerk and 85kg in the snatch at a bodyweight of 53 kg.

Finland’s Anna Everi, U23 bronze medalist at the European Championships in 2010, has recorded the following PB’s in the 63 kg weight class: C&J 108 kg, snatch 85 kg.

Lest you think there are hot women only in Olympic lifting, a certain Paraguyan smoke show will prove you wrong. With a personal record of 57,77 m in women’s javelin, Leryn Franco’s got a side gig as a lingerie model.

Although boosting an impressive resume, Franco is not entirely flawless.

I saw a pic of her squatting 135 pounds with padding on the bar… but I’m sure we can forgive her?

No list of attractive athletes would be complete without über-hottie Allison Stokke. While her name may not ring a bell with you, I’m sure this picture of her will jolt your memory…

What’s the common denominator between all of these athletes?

They train for improved performance and athleticism. As a by-product they develop bodies that turn heads wherever they go, be it at the track, at a meet or on the beach.

Even Rohde and Everi – the two competitive weightlifters whose sole goal is to become as strong as possible in the two competition lifts – possess slim, feminine looks. Not an iota of “bulky” muscle.

A far cry from the ‘roided bodybuilder image being fed to the willfully ignorant female crowd who still believe jogging and light resistance are the key to a glorious Beach Bod.

I’ll throw in two pictures of a client of mine for good measure.

I’ll tell you a little secret. She doesn’t sit in a machine moving light weights for 500 reps.

Nor does she do an endless amount of slow, boring cardio on a treadmill or elliptical machine.

What does her training plan look like for the lower body?

Squats. All kinds of them. Regular and Bulgarian split squats, hack squats, front squats, single leg box squats. Lunges. Deadlifts. Hill sprints.

Lately, she has started adding glute ham raises and hip thrusts to pack some more meat in her posterior chain.

And unlike women’s lifestyle magazines or other sources of crappy training information that would rather see you wither into nothingness by consuming such a ridiculously low amount of food that makes the eating habits of the Olsen twins resemble those of the poor schmuck who ate himself to death in 7even, this client pounds away more grub than Kevin James did between takes on the set of The King of Queens.

We’re talking 3000+ kcal on training days.

Upper body sessions include benching, overhead pressing, chinning, dipping, rowing and push-ups without forgetting some direct arm work. All that chinning and rowing has translated into decent upper back development, especially with the lats.

A few months back, my partner started with a new female client who had no previous background in lifting or strength sports. He put the client on one of our basic strength-building templates that never fail to deliver. The results?

After 10 weeks on the program she deadlifted 100 kg and squatted 87,5 kg (220 lbs and 192.5 lbs for the metrically and mathematically handicapped) at a bodyweight of around 55 kg.

And I can guarantee you her body has never looked better.

For further reading, check out one of the coolest female transformation stories I’ve come across on the Interwebz. Was she big and bulky? Yeah, in her “before” pic. Funny what attaining a 300 pound deadlift, a bodyweight bench and smart dieting will do to a girl’s physique.

When a girl can hit a ballpark double bodyweight deadlift and 1.5xBW squat while following a smart nutritional approach without going crazy on the booze, she’ll develop an universally attractive body. Every-friggin’-time.

I guess it’s a fitting example of what we human beings have become as a race that those who are 20+ pounds overweight in the first place are too busy convincing other women online how training like an athlete will make you overly muscular, all the while these other women with enviable physiques are out there sprinting, lifting, jumping and playing their way into shape.

Food for thought, nevertheless.

/Rant over.

References:

(1) Rippetoe, Mark: Strong Enough?

Atlas stone - 320 pounds

Starting out at 6’4″ and 279 pounds, Michael was bigger and stronger than the average gym bro. During our initial consultation he told me the following:

“The first program I started with and stuck to for a while was the eating five meals a day 3 hours apart that were high in lean proteins with only slow carbs like beans and veggies. I was working in the gym with 3 sets of 10 reps hitting different muscle sets each day (back and bi’s, chest and tri’s, legs, shoulders and abs).

While I was on this plan I did experience great gains and fat loss but they came to an end and I stopped changing.”

After that he had switched to Intermittent Fasting and 5×5, seen some improvements but was now looking to take his knowledge of training and nutrition to another level.

When designing Mike’s program, the focus was first on scaling the weights back while re-learning picture perfect technique on the big lifts, which would build the basis for him to eventually move on to match and surpass his previous bests with solid form.

Another goal we set for Mike was to drop 6″ off his waist in 13 weeks. He was well on his way to reaching that after having shed 4″ in 8 weeks, when he notified me that there’s a strongman competition taking place near him in a few weeks – something he desperately wanted to partake in.

So we put the fat loss goal on the back burner for the last remaining 5 weeks in order to prep him for his first ever strongman meet.

Sandbag carry - 275 pounds

Q1. What was your fitness/training/nutrition background like before working with me?

Early on in life I knew nothing about eating right or staying in shape. As I grew up I noticed that I was out of shape, eating garbage food and needed to make some big lifestyle changes. I started going to the gym on and off and making the right eating choices one by one.

Now I have made it a habit to eat healthy grassfed meats and organic vegetables and also going to the gym on a regular basis for about two years or so.

I have made training a learning process and notice the leaps and bounds I have made since starting training years ago. Also I have noticed my diet has changed slowly but surely and remained that way.

Q2. What did you find as a result of the new training and nutrition plan we created for you?

I noticed that I was eating A LOT more than usual and I mean A LOT. Especially on workout days. It was harder to cram in most of the food after training on some nights but I got it done. I like the training plan and think a lot of thought went into it and the accessory work.

Q3. How did you perceive the dieting part? Any challenges?

At first I felt like I was eating way to much food but then as I saw the scale start to go down I figured it was ok and started to enjoy it. I also noticed it isn’t just about cutting calories in order to lose weight.

[1st trip 240 pounds, 2nd trip 310#, 3rd & 4th trips 330# farmer's walks.]

Q4. What specific feature did you like most about our collaboration?

I REALLY enjoyed the form critiquing and feel that it has helped me tremendously.

Q5. What would be three other benefits of my service?

Keeping track of lifts and to see when you finally surpassed your previous max with proper form.

The help with getting macros straight.

Your openess and ability to adapt and make changes.

Q6. Would you recommend me to your closest friends? If so, why?

Yes I would, I think if they did your program they would find it easier to accomplish their goals and at the very least get great form and dieting tips.

Q7. Please name and elaborate on three significant lessons you learned during our project.

I learned to make smaller goals that you know you can achieve and also have bigger goals that you may one day be able to acheive. Also that goals should be specific things having to do with concreate numbers and not vague ideas.

I learned that a calorie is truly not a calorie and that different foods/eating habits will affect people differently. Also that some people that are trying to lose weight may be eating a lot less than they should.

I learned that they big lifts are key and form is so necessary so you don’t get an injury and working the proper muscles. Also that well placed accessory work can really help in your program overall and that compound lifts should be the bread and butter of any routine.

Disclaimer: I’ve nothing to gain by recommending or not recommending a certain book. All opinions are unbiased and these reviews simply stem from the fact I like to read a lot and write down my thoughts. Yes, I’m geeky like that.

Background

Paul Carter is a competitive powerlifter who shares his knowledge resulting from 20+ years in the Iron Game on his excellent blog over at Lift-Run-Bang. It was there that I first picked up small nuances that contributed to my training, such as paused squats (apparently they were a staple in powerlifting legend Ed Coan’s training as well, which should tell you something) and switching over to a thumbless grip on the military press.

Furthermore, my left hip flexor flared up several months ago. Consequently, squatting and sprinting went out of the window for a while. Even squatting to depth with a broomstick was painful, so I started doing more mobility work which helped a bit but the injury was still there.

I found the gamebreaker on Paul’s site – the good girl machine. Yes, the one old ladies use whilst gossiping about that bitch Irma from knitting class who was seen with some rich, silver-haired, handsome fella at dinner last weekend. After a few weeks of high rep rehab work on the GG machine, the hip flexor returned back to normal – and hasn’t bothered me since.

The Good

* Any book that begins with the words “Strength reigns. Strength is king.” can’t suck in my eyes. All too often we forget that we lift weights to get stronger, and that the simplest way to get stronger is increasing performance in the rep ranges most suited to reaching that goal.

Thus, if you’re DB bench pressing 20kg for 10 reps today, you better get out of your comfort zone and start pushing the envelope so that 3 months from now you’ve worked your way up to 25kg for 10 at worst – or at the very least can move 20kg for 15 reps.

I enjoyed tremendously the aspect that Paul Carter does not try to overcomplicate matters. Getting stronger is quite simple when you boil it down to its essence and you won’t find any long lost “secrets” in his book.

* Elaborate instructions on how to setup for the Big 3.

Granted, Rippetoe’s Starting Strength covers all of these lifts in more detail, and certainly if one is more inclined to appreciate the complexities of human anatomy and kinesiology, he should opt for SS. But for the regular Joe Schmoe who just wants to move more weight with good form SLL will get the job done very well.

* Training templates.

These are pretty much the meat and potatoes of the entire book. You’ve got one template dedicated primarily to strength, another to mass, yet another for in-season athletes (football, MMA, etc.) and also various ones for bodypart specialization (traps, shoulders, arms, chest, legs) aimed for advanced trainees.

From a training age perspective you probably could apply the principles in Strength Life Legacy for the rest of your life without the need to buy another training book/program. All bases from beginner to intermediate to advanced are covered in this one.

* The chapter on prehab/rehab is probably worth the money alone. If  I injure myself again in training, I know where to turn first.

* Although the training information both in Strength Life Legacy and on Paul Carter’s blog is outstanding, I’ve always liked his “Thoughts about life, crap, training, and stuff” posts best.

Maybe it’s because I’m an opinionated asshole myself or because I think a lot about how utterly abhorrent living a life of mediocrity is and what being a man in today’s society means, these articles always resonate with me. A fine way to wrap up the book.

The Bad

* I thought long and hard about some minor detail that I’d be able to point out as a flaw. The truth is, I couldn’t find anything. Yeah ok, I spotted a few typos here and there but if that’s the sharp end of my critique then you know the actual content is solid.

The Verdict

Whether a newbie or advanced lifter, you better pick this book up. I guarantee it’s money well spent.

I’ve seen trainers pimping their products for ridiculous prices. 47 or 67 bucks for an e-book is the norm nowadays, and some even go up as high as 77-97$. Usually the material is recycled from various sources, and once you’ve read a few dozen books on training, there’s seldom anything to be found that you haven’t heard before.

For 25$ Strength Life Legacy is a steal. And the content is top notch.

I’m really looking forward to taking one of the templates laid out in the book for a ride once I have finished my bodyweight training cycle at the end of the summer. The Strong-15 and Big-15 plans look sweet!

Key Takeaways

1. Be strong, be in shape.

2. Start your training cycle light.

3. Always try to hit new rep PR’s in training. Over time this will lead to a bigger and stronger you.

4. If you want to get good at a lift, practice that lift. The lifts actually build themselves. Use your assistance work to build the musculature involved in the lift.

5. There are too many weak-willed, intellectually immature and physically frail people taking up space on this planet already. Do not become yet another one of them.

Get after your goals and crush ‘em.

Click here to buy Strength Life Legacy (not an affiliate link).

I met Kari-Matti several months ago at the gym where I used to train people. He came across as a smart, open-minded guy (which most trainees are not), so we ended up talking about nutrition and training on a few occasions, and I gave him a couple of pointers on how to improve his technique on deadlifts and squats.

Later, he wanted to get leaner and we devised a proper training and nutrition plan for him. Here’s what happened during the 13 weeks we worked together.

Weight: 93.5kg -> 86.6kg (-6.9kg)

Waist: 98cm -> 87cm (-11cm)

No drop in strength despite shedding a respectable amount of fat. Some lifts went slightly up, with the deadlift increasing most notably 140kg x5 -> 162.5kg x5. This indicates that muscle was not sacrificed during his cut. The pics below tell a similar story.

Even though the lighting is somewhat skewed on the left, the difference in pecs and abs is obvious. Other pics demonstrated that his face leaned out considerably as well. No more puffy cheeks for this guy.

Still a work in progress though. Now that his upper abs are popping out, Kari-Matti told me he wanted to lean all the way down to a full 6-pack after his summer vacation, which would require still another 10cm or so off his waist (my estimate).

He was an exemplary client. Intelligent, observant, no excuses. I asked him for a testimonial, because I knew it would be good and thorough.

Q1. What was your fitness/training/nutrition background like before
working with me?

Have been going to the gym more or less regularly since I was 15. Started from scratch (first bench press and biceps, quite obviously) and was learning by doing, but never took the time to research much about training and nutrition. Sounds a little ridiculous from someone having a Master’s degree. For some reason I thought I knew what I was doing, because most guys at the gym were lifting less than me.

Since 2009 started eating more protein and simply just more. In the summer 2009 weighed about 83kg. By Christmas 2010 weight was about 93-95kg. Simultaneously had gotten stronger, but probably at least half of the weight was fat.

I was diagnosed with scoliosis at the age of 14, when my doctor told me that exercise is necessary to keep my back in shape, otherwise a couch potato lifestyle could result in not being able to walk by the age of 40. That was the initial motivation for working out.

Childhood nutrition was vegetarian and healthy, thanks to mom. I was always relatively good in football and other sports, though never really the top dog. Started practicing martial arts at 16 (first Taekwondo, then kickboxing, Krav Maga and MMA), which gave a better awareness of physiological limitations and discipline to hard training.

Gave up MMA training 1.5 years ago due to continuous aches, pains, bruises and limping following the training sessions. I must be getting old & soft..

Q2. What did you find as a result of the new training and nutrition
plan we created for you?

I came to realize that my understanding of fitness and nutrition was at kindergarden level. Found out that with a proper training program and correct nutrition you can get the desired results within a span of a couple of months. No need to hit your head against a concrete wall and wonder why the wall doe not get a headache and break.

Thinking that “I have heavy bones” or “my metabolism is quite slow, so I’ll never have a 6-pack” just shows ignorance or an unwillingness to get out of your comfort zone. The more results I saw, the more motivated I got.

Q3. What specific feature did you like most about our collaboration?

I most appreciate getting to the point directly and keeping the eye on the prize/results. Sensitivity and sugar-coating does not give the same results. Every time something went wrong, I got feedback on how to correct it.

I somehow busted my right pec early in the training program and it did not really recover by the end of the 12 weeks, but you quickly came up with suitable substitute exercises.

Q4. What would be three other benefits of my service?

Better understanding of weightlifting fundamentals, nutrition and a long-term perspective on training & conditioning.

Q5. Would you recommend me to your closest friends? If so, why?

Yes. None of my closest friends are in the shape they would aspire to be in. They are in a similar or a worse place where I was before we started working together.

If there was a language of humans or angels that would enable me to pass a message to them, so that it truly sinks in, it would be: “dude/honey, I know you would like nothing more than to be in better shape and have that bikini bod portrayed in the cover of sports illustrated.

Yes, you try to look after your diet and exercise, but you just do not see the desired results, so unconsciously you have somewhat given up on that dream bod of yours and enjoy that yummy stuff instead. Whatever you think you know about training and nutrition, forget it for a couple of months.

Follow Yunus’ training program and diet and you will get results that will boost your motivation and confidence. Do not talk back, give excuses or try to be a smart ass, just do it! You can thank him and me later, once you realize the amount of eyes checking you out @ the beach has more than doubled.

Q6. Please name and elaborate on three significant lessons you learned
during our project.

The biggest was the necessity and inclusion of core exercises, such as deadlift, squat and push press. Girl or guy, weak or strong, scoliosis or not, you just need to include these in your routine.

Secondly, pacing the workouts; keep breaks short, pulse quite high and measure weights accordingly. This enables better fat burning and builds muscle more efficiently than maximizing weights on each exercise and keeping long breaks in between. Keeping ten minutes between sets while chatting to a buddy, reading a paper, humming to your favorite song or posing in front of the mirror is a waste of time and space.

Thirdly, focus on doing the exercises with correct technique. Every time I go to the gym I see guys who stack 120kg in the squat rack, bend down 30cm and think they are strong.

Most guys want to pack the maximum amount of weight for each exercise just to show off, while their technique is rotten and it will only result in premature injury. Most women stick to the small weights and the machines, always trying to look good, avoid breaking a sweat and certainly stay away from the manly exercises and big weights in the fear of becoming buff. Both groups of people wonder why they do not lose fat and develop muscle, though they go to the gym 3-4 times a week.

Fourth, if you allow, is nutrition. Once you calculate the macros in your existing diet and the actual diet you should be following, it becomes child’s play. In the beginning it takes a bit of effort, but you will get the picture within days or a week.

The learning process is the hardest in the start, just like it is when learning a new language or signing up to a fat mortgage. Give it some time and you will eventually get the bigger picture and understand you first had to do a) and b) before you can get to c). Mentally this can be a bit challenging for adults as we have grown into thinking we are mature, know pretty much it all and our comfort zones are not always flexible.

Q7. Is there anything else you’d like to share?

Man, I should have done this 10 years ago! Muchas gracias :)

Thank you, buddy. It was a pleasure working with you.

[Update from 22.11.2012]

After the summer holidays, I designed another 3 month program for Kari-Matti. I just received these pics from him…

Some stats for those of you interested…

Weight: 81.2kg (-12.3kg/-27 pounds since starting)

Waist: 76cm (-22cm/-8.5″ since starting)

Chin-Up: 15kg x10 -> 27.5kg x9

Dip: 20kg x12 -> 35kg x12

Very interestingly his bench press, which for most people is the first lift to go down the shitter on a cut, remained steady at 110kg x5 throughout the entire diet despite a 12+ kilogram drop in bodyweight.

Once again it becomes evident that you can – AND SHOULD – get stronger even while leaning down as long as you go smartly about it. Well done, buddy.

After 6 months of cutting, now it’s time to start wolfing down copious amounts of food and packing some quality muscle on that frame…

Billions of people sit glued in front of the television for hours (nothing new there actually) watching corrupted politicians and other assorted assholes deliver grand speeches where they praise God, hard work and human spirit while cozily spending the rest of the Games secluded from peasants, enjoying refreshments in unlimited quantities and – drunk from their own power as well as the free flowing booze – end up molesting the shit out of young, gullible VIP hostesses (again, this is standard procedure) who believe it’s part of their job description.

Meanwhile, the server systems at Askmen.com crash down when they release their gallery of TOP 20 hottest female Olympians pouting their lips and posing all sultry for the camera, disguised in what the fashion industry refers to as “clothing” but is merely an arbitrary piece of garment supposed to accentuate their tanned, nicely shaped buns.

These babes are allegedly athletes. Don't ask me what their sport is. I've no idea whether this pic was taken at practice or during the opening scenes in an adult movie. But whatever, they're hot which is what truly matters.

When I was a young lad, you had to pull a girl’s panties aside to get a glimpse of her buttocks. These days you gotta pull her buttocks aside in order to see the panties.

Hey, I ain’t complaining!

Furthermore, the world gets exposed to the tremendous strength levels and ridiculously chiseled upper bodies of male gymnasts, and guys start wondering “Yo homie, whadda ya gotta do to get ripped like that?”

Those in the know reply with a mildly amused, if not downright irritated “Practice”.

Unfortunately, in our dumbed-down, instant gratification seeking society this is not the answer most people want to hear. They neither have the patience, nor the desire to follow through on anything that requires complete immersion in the task at hand beyond a few weeks at a time.

Inevitably, the amazing physiques of Yuri van Gelder or Chen Yibing are the talk of town for a few weeks until the closing ceremony is over, after which they become completely forgotten between today and their next big exposure four years from now. Everybody wants to look like these guys do but nobody wants to put in 10+ years worth of effort, train every day and come to the conclusion that bench pressing 500 pounds does not necessarily lend itself very well to advanced bodyweight movements such as handstand pushups or ring dips.

1.61m and 63kg of pure awesome

I had been intrigued by gymnasts’ training methods for quite a while but never gave them too much thought until I noticed how my joints became more and more worn down from lifting weights. Minor injuries occurred all of a sudden and prevented me from training frequently at high intensities, which drove me to the brink of frustration. I knew something had to give when I no longer looked forward to hitting the gym with enthusiasm.

After reading a few books on the topic I decided I needed to get my joints stronger while also learning how to get proficient at mastering advanced bodyweight exercises. I realized this was something I had been neglecting for too long. And I’m not talking about standard push-ups or pull-ups. I’m referring to muscle-ups, 1-arm pull-ups, levers etc.

The beauty of bodyweight training is that you train where you want, whenever you want. You are your own gym. The problem is that people associate calisthenics with high rep push-ups, squats and crunches. What are you gonna do when performing 50 push-ups becomes a piece of cake? Work up to 100? Pretty boring if you ask me.

Every neighbourhood has a playground within walking distance and by applying a touch of imagination, you can get in a training session every bit as fun and challenging as inside a real gym. Plus you don’t need to wait 15 minutes for a guy to finish his quarter-squats before you can occupy the rack.

It also makes a huge difference in recovery when you stop psyching yourself up for multiple sets with heavy metal booming in the background. That means you feel a lot fresher, can train more frequently and make quicker progress. With the sun pleasurably warming my face in the middle of a set of windshield wipers, there’s no way I’ll go back to training inside before next winter.

You’ve probably seen footage of “ghetto workouts” on Youtube before but these dudes are so friggin’ amazing that marveling their skills once again is time well spent.

If you really wanted to take your BW sessions up to another level, gymnastic rings would be a tremendous addition to your training. According to Christopher Sommer of GymnasticBodies.com, rings are “the single greatest tool ever made for developing upper body strength”. I bought mine online at Christian’s Fitness Factory and so far have greatly enjoyed performing ring work on their wooden ones. For the cost of a one month gym membership they were a bargain.

With nothing but the rings and your own body available, you’d be able to conduct a heck of a training session anywhere.

- dips, push-ups, pull-ups, inverted rows, face pulls, levers on rings for upper body

- pistol squats and shrimp squats for legs

- leg raises, L-sits, V-abs, plank walkouts, bridges for abdominals and back

Another wonderful aspect of calisthenics training is that there are hundreds of ways to make an exercise easier or harder depending on your current skill level. If you can’t perform a chin-up yet, use resistance bands or perform negatives. If they’re too easy, do close grip, sternum, towel, clapping or 1-arm chin-ups.

For a more thorough roundup of bodyweight training, progression and training setup, I suggest looking into Convict Conditioning, Ross Enamait’s Never Gymless, Sommer’s Building the Gymnastic Body or Overcoming Gravity by Steven Low.

One of the highlights of my weekly schedule includes a trip to the adjacent library. I realize this statement will get me labeled a nerd – albeit a very good-looking nerd – by all the internet tough guys out there frequenting online training forums, powered by delivery pizza and cans of Red Bull in their parents’ basement. Alas, I’ve never been one to particularly care about what people think of me, hence I choose not to give a shit this time around either.

Between flipping through Max Brooks’ zombie tales and a less-than-stellar Baldacci novel, my gaze fell upon a book on training. I have a terrible habit of digesting any and all works related to training and nutrition, even the ones aimed at gen pop. I say terrible because many of them are not worth the paper they’ve been printed on, which implies a waste of my time and yet another chopped down forest somewhere in Amazon. Yes, the treehugger in me is weeping.

This one was no different. A book on functional training contained everything I had imagined it would contain. Cutesy pictures, self-professed gurus showcasing their “expertise”, very little substance for the price. I counted about 100 different movements or exercises and in the end my head was spinning like a b-boy on the dancefloor.

Why is it that athletes generally get far better results with a fraction of that and have striking bodies as well?

Why are the most reputable strength & conditioning coaches – those whose clients include Olympic athletes, NFL/NHL/NBA players, sprinters – sticking to the basics of basics in strength training?

If certain compound, multi-joint movements have been proven to produce results for the athletic elite, then why is there a need for hucksters to be marketing completely dissimilar methods to the masses?

Why is every functional training guru obsessed with the notion that no basic exercise is perfect without adding some twist, crunch, turn, hippety-hop, kung-fu kick or other gimmicky modification to it?

Since when is the pull-up – possibly the king of all upper body exercises – not sufficient enough performed on its own? How come you need to attach a cable pulley around your left ankle for “increased carryover”?

WHY?

WHYYYY??!!?

Not functional enough? Fuck off.

And if a bodyweight pull-up is too easy, then certainly adding more weight or progressing towards a one-arm version of the exercise will provide enough challenge for a long, long time.

Since when were squats performed on a Bosu ball more effective than on a stable surface?

I’d also like to ask the authors of the aforementioned book whether they truly are of the opinion that pressing 10kg dumbbells while sitting on a fitball – merely one of the nearly infinite number of exercises depicted in the book – will make a trainee stronger than, say, progressing to overhead pressing their own bodyweight for reps.

Almost 80 years ago, in 1936, Dr. Hans Selye proposed what is now known as the General Adaptation Syndrome, which describes how our bodies go through a specific set of responses to a certain stress (in our case lifting weights). In short, the body will increase muscular size and strength if a proper exercise stimulus has been provided (“adaptation through supercompensation”).

Moreover, if the stimulus is not sufficient enough, no new adaptation will take place. On the other hand, a stimulus of too great a magnitude will over-exhaust the system and lead to overtraining (which is not really a concern for most people).

Herein lies my beef with the advocates of functional training and other cluttered hokey-pokey bullshit.

I don’t care if these methods are supposed to “really engage the core”. Systematic, progressive training has never been about that and never will be.

We need an intervention, my friends.

Balancing on a Swiss ball, uttering the alphabets in reverse order while sticking two fingers up the butt as your other arm is doing hammer curls is neither adequate stimuli for causing adaptation in the long term nor very “functional” indeed. The only place where these kinds of feats are regarded as anything else but retarded is in circus school.

It ain’t strength training unless you’re getting strong(er).

Not too long ago, I remember reading an article by Matt Kroc where he stated he had been using the back strength he’d gained in the gym to haul engine blocks, furniture, washers, and even a fully loaded refrigerator all by himself. Somehow he managed to build all that functional strength without rolling around on an inflated rubber ball. Oh the irony!!!

Legendary strongmen – ranging from old school freaks like Saxon, Sandow and Hackenschmidt, all the way to Ahola, Koklyaev, Sigmarsson or Pudzianowski of more contemporary times – based their training on getting stronger on the basics and doing those lifts frequently in order to fully master them.

Throughout history, none of the really strong guys or girls utilized training methods which involved balancing on unstable surfaces while handling weights a bulimic teenager uses for warming up between fantasizing about Zach Efron and throwing up her school lunch. I doubt they feel they’ve missed much.

This nonsense has to stop. We will stop it now.

If your goal was to gain size and strength (or lose fat/become more athletic/whatever you deem most important in your training), don’t you think you’d have a better chance of finding answers from guys who’ve already done it? Applying their methods would surely work for you as well, right?

If you wanted to become the next Federer, wouldn’t you be best served playing against guys who are better than you as opposed to someone who you can easily defeat? Wouldn’t it make more sense to get tennis lessons from a knowledgeable coach than relying solely on the powers of a brand new training DVD teaching you how to hit backhand whilst wobbling on a balance board, serve curve balls while blindfolded and attack the net hopping on one leg, resembling a fucking flamingo?

I’ve said it countless times before. There are no secrets. Nobody’s hiding anything from you.

Get a lot stronger. Eat ample amounts of quality foods. Hard work and dedication. Consistency over months and years.

Your body doesn’t give a fuck about “functional” training. Neither does the barbell you’re trying to lift for a new 1RM.

Follow these 5 guidelines until the day you kick the bucket and you’ll be good.

1. Increase resistance over time. Barbells, dumbbells, kettlebells, stones, calisthenics?

What equipment you use is secondary. Just get stronger.

2. Do more reps with a given resistance.

3. If you’re struggling to gain weight, eat more.

4. If you need to lose bodyfat, eat a little less and do more (smart) work.

5. Do hard conditioning. Sprints, sled work, farmer’s, rope jumping… Anything that is brutal and makes you more awesome.

Now get the hell out of this site and go crush some shit.