It is in these times, it is in all our times, that we find our need for a Savior.  It is in these times that we realize things will not be right until He returns and makes all things new and the wrong things right.

In any season of life we know with our head that Jesus is the One who Saves, but it is in the hard times, the broken and bruised and confused times, that we reach out to make this head knowledge a reality and anchor for our hearts.

He is near the brokenhearted. I imagine Jesus’ favorite place to be is sitting right next to each one of us when we feel the most alone and unseen. He loves at just that precise moment to wrap His arms around us and tell us He is for us and not against us.

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.  (Psalm 34:18 NASB)

For He is not a God who is far removed, casually observing humanity from a distance. He is acquainted with each one of our sorrows and struggles and sufferings… He is the only One who fully knows the depth of pain a human heart can experience, and yet has loved beyond what we can conceive as possible.

God loves us so much that He clothed Himself with skin and fully embraced the broken human experience, becoming a man like us forever.

“who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men.”  (Philippians 2:6-7 NASB)

I love that even after Peter’s denial of Jesus and in the midst of his shame and regret, Jesus made a point to see Peter and draw near to him in tenderness. (John 21)  He is not intimidated by our weakness and even our doubts.

It is in these times that we, like Peter, learn what it is to be loved and to love in return.

Charis (Ka-reese) is a 32 year old mom to 4 (soon to be 5) boys and wife of 10 years to her best friend Bill.  They are a full-time intercessory missionary family giving themselves to oversee The Watch House of Prayer in Redding, Ca.  She is involved in raising up godly children, pastoring, leading worship and encouraging people in growing in a life of prayer and pursuit of loving God as the “One Thing” (Psalm 27).  She writes regularly at her blog, At the Gate Called Beautiful, where she shares her journeys and encourages other believers to grow in faith together.

It has fallen out of its nest under the eaves of our roof.

The bird flaps its tiny wings, trying to fly, but it doesn’t get more than a foot off the ground.

I look out the window, watching, worried… wondering how it will survive.

I get a piece of bread, break it into crumbs and tiptoe out into the backyard. Slowly, quietly, I sneak up behind the bird and drop some crumbs on the ground hoping it will eat. But it runs away, scared.

Then the most amazing thing happens.

A mama bird lands on our fence nearby, a worm in her mouth. The baby, standing in a pile of leaves now, helpless and hungry, chirps frantically.

Instantly, the mama swoops down and feeds her baby, right there in the leaves, just a few feet from me. (The baby might have been scared, but that mama sure wasn’t.)

I go back in the house, smiling at the mama bird’s spirit and her faithfulness to find and feed her baby even when it was out of the nest.

And I realize, that’s how God is with me.

All the times I’ve fallen out of the nest in my life…

the times I’ve made mistakes or the times I’ve forgotten about Him…

he’s found me.

And like that mama did with her baby, He has given me food–the very bread of life… grace, peace, forgiveness,

an overwhelming, unconditional love.

No matter how far away we wander from time to time, or how fast we run, He’s always there, finding us and caring for us (even when we don’t realize it).

Because that’s how God is, and that’s what He does.

And I am thankful.

What about you? Have you let God find you? Do you look back and see His presenece in your wanderings too?

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast. –Psalm 139, 7-10

I walked down the aisle in my bargain of a dress and then tucked it away in the back of a closet. Out of sight, out of mind.

Memories of it did not resurface until years and years later. Standing with other women singing “Prone to Wander” towards the end of a conference, my heart felt burdened with shame over my own propensity to wander from the God I love. As I begged Him to forgive me with tears coursing down my cheeks, we sang a line about being Jesus’ bride. I cannot remember the exact words or if they were even part of the same song. I just remember feeling like I did not deserve to wear a gown of white – me and my adulterous heart.

Deep within, I felt the Lord whisper, “Why do you do that? Why do you keep taking off the dress I gave you?”

I immediately pictured myself shrugging off a pure white wedding gown, feelings of unworthiness and shame telling me I would be more appropriately attired as a harlot. But the Lord was telling me to put it back on. That the dress was mine. Bought and paid for. By Him.

“I delight greatly in the LORD;

   my soul rejoices in my God.

For he has clothed me with garments of salvation

   and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness,

as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,

   and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.”

Isaiah 61:10

And that is when I remembered my wedding dress – my wedding dress with a stain on it. And I realized I had brought that stained mentality into my walk with the Lord. When I walked down the aisle on my wedding day, I carried the shame of a lot of sin. Even though I had surrendered my heart to Jesus during premarital counseling, I still felt the weight of not being able to present myself as a pure gift to my husband. I had yet to fully accept the Lord’s forgiveness, to believe He had indeed made me clean.

“For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” 2 Corinthians 5:21 NKJV

My heart breaks for that young bride. And for the me that walked too many years covered in shame. I needed to slip back on my wedding gown. Not the one hanging at the back of my closet, but mentally adorning myself in what Jesus said is mine – a robe of righteousness, bought for me not off of a clearance rack, but paid for with the high price of His life.

I am His bride, and I get to wear white.

God is the same way.  He deliberately pursues me.  When I choose to hide, for fear of being seen, He draws near to me, and His love chases me down.  He is relentless in His pursuit of me.

Your beauty and love chase after me
every day of my life.
I’m back home in the house of God
for the rest of my life.   (Psalm 23:6 – Message)

In my day-to-day world, all I ever seem to focus on are the unfinished tasks and unmet expectations.  I mean, aren’t I suppose to keep the house running, neat and organized and make sure my children behave in an orderly fashion?  And while my shortcomings and missteps are on display for all to see, there is something deep inside of me that screams, “I just want to be seen”!  “I want someone to notice me”!  I am not talking about the me that is the housewife, mom, maid,  taxi-driver, organizer or menu planner.  I want the real me to be seen.  That woman that God created me to be.  After giving the majority of myself to a full-time job, then coming home to try to accomplish those things that I have to do in order to keep the house functioning, I long for encouragement.  I long for acknowledgment.  I long to be seen.

Who is this woman?  Underneath piles of laundry, unwashed dishes in the sink, toys strewn about the house, cracker crumbs on the floor and the constant state of disorganization, how could anyone truly see me underneath all of this chaos?

But God sees me.

Thereafter, Hagar used another name to refer to the LORD, who had spoken to her. She said, “You are the God who sees me.” She also said, “Have I truly seen the One who sees me?”  (Genesis 16:13 NLT)

He is the God who sees me.  Not for what I do, but for who I truly am.

His child.

One who stands redeemed and forgiven.

The apple of His eye.

His friend.

One who walks free and whole before Him.

Chosen.

I can almost picture the Father, coming to uncover the “real me” amongst the piles of failures I bury myself under.  He wants to play.  And I want to hide.  There are so many things left undone.  So many words that did not come out right.  So many failures.  Yes, I am going to run and hide and bury myself underneath my faults.  But then He comes, and I hear Him say,

“Peek-A-Boo, I see you!”

And He gently removes the piles of failures that I bury myself under, and there He uncovers the “real me”.  The One that He loves.

How about you?  Do you struggle to be seen?  Not for what you do, but for who you truly are?  Will you rest in His love today?  His pursuit of you is unending.  He is the God who sees you.

There is next to nothing in this life that can be accomplished without work.

I want to be better about buying and grocery shopping so as not to waste food and money, that also requires work. I have to make a menu, and plan, and then I have to take four children to the grocery store and try not to break the wine bottles and jelly jars as we careen through the aisles.

Just showing up at the Gym does not guarantee results. The treadmill will not do the work for me, and the weights will not lift themselves. I will turn and walk out of there sweat-free and still weighing the same amount no matter how many times I show up, if I am unwilling to make the effort. My cabinets will still hold food that spoils and we will eat out too often, if I do not make the effort to plan and shop and cook.

As I was thinking about all of this the other day, it occurred to me that while so much in life is about what we put in, about the work we can do to achieve and accomplish goals and desires, the same is not entirely so with God.

I am motivated by work. Work makes me feel useful. It warms my little Pharisee heart like nobody’s business to have rules and tasks and boxes to check off. Then I can ridicule myself (and others) for not doing the work when the boxes are left unmarked on the to-do list. The thing is, I am pretty sure, when I am all about the work, God just shakes His head at me. Because this feeling of doing the work, doesn’t end with just exercising and meal planning. Too often applies to my faith as well. I will muscle my way in there and serve in this ministry and I will give to that cause there and I will make sure I am doing this work over here so that my faith will be evident by my works.

What I forget (all of the time!) is that with God, all He wants me to do is show up.

That’s it.

Just answer the call. Just say, “Speak, for your servant is listening.”  (Samuel 3:10)

God wants the full attention of our hearts more than He wants our works, which amount to little more than stinking rags (Isaiah 64:6) He wants us to just come and sit, we don’t have to do anything. We don’t have to dress, or come with offerings; we don’t have to have fancy prayers or manicured hands. He just wants us. He wants our hearts, in whatever shape they may be in that moment, He will do the work.

for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. Philippians 2:13

Can I pray for you today? Father God, you are so good and patient when we put you off because we are so busy working “for you”. Please help us to see the places where we are guilty of trying to do the work, and help us to learn to rest at your feet, help us to just show up for you, and let YOU do the work of your will in us. Thank you Father for loving us and for shaping us into the people you planned for us to be. Help us to lay down our efforts and learn to live faithful lives not marked by the work of our hands, but by the mighty and glorious works of Yours.  In Chris’s holy and perfect name I pray, Amen.

Kris is just a girl who loves Jesus with her whole heart. She is a stay at home mom, MOPS Coordinator and an Advocate for Compassion International. Kris winds through her days, homeschooling 4 kids, and playing wife to her amazing husband. The floors are covered in crumbs and the washing machine never stops running (never!) but she counts each day as a gift! In her spare time (ha ha ha!) she writes, reads and plays with her camera. You can follow her musings on Faith and Motherhood at Always Alleluia and on Facebook, and twitter. She is also a monthly contributor at Sisters In Bloom .

My neglect always led to feelings of guilt and fear of what I was going to find when I went downstairs to check on her. Finally, tired of waking up feeling like a failure before my day even started, I prayed and pondered – what was this dream trying to tell me.

It didn’t take me long to realize that I was living out my own version of Julie Ann Barnhill’s book, Motherhood: the Guilt that Keeps on Giving.

Can you relate?

My children are grown with children of their own, and I still feel like I could have and should have done so much more . . .  even though I gave parenting my all and then some.

Praise God! My heavenly Father came to my rescue – Again!

He reminded me that although it is true that I was not then, I’m not now, nor will I ever be a perfect mother, there are no perfect mothers. We are simply doing our best, and that’s what matters.

He reminded me that mothering like every other aspect of my life is covered by His grace and that is sufficient.

He reminded me that my children and grandchildren are His. I have not been called to be perfect nor is it my job to make them perfect. I have been called to love  and guide them by pointing them toward God’s love . . . and that I can do.

But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16

It’s been a while since I’ve had a “puppy in the basement” dream. Of course, I still have my mom guilt moments. Sometimes I think they come in the job description. However, now I try to quickly give those feelings over to God’s grace; trusting that His loving forgiveness is sufficient to cover my many weaknesses.

So, take a moment today to remind yourself of how very much the Lord loves you, forgives you, and covers you with His grace . . . then go hug your kids.

Photo Credit

I just couldn’t fit Him in my schedule. The birth of our third child pushed me over the edge – the pages of my carefully crafted day planner fluttering in the breeze. Normally, I spent time in Bible study and prayer in the morning after the kids left for school. But nothing was normal.

I tried getting up earlier for a while, but my sleep deprived body revolted. I tried doing it during naptime, but realized I needed a big dose of Jesus just to get me through the morning.

For two years (Did you read that? TWO YEARS!), I worked to fit my quiet time in whenever I found a moment alone (almost never). But, determined, I began bringing my Bible down in the morning with my toddler and read while she ate breakfast and watched cartoons. I sat at the end of the kitchen table reading God’s Word and praying. She was happy, and I was a better mommy.

My quiet time didn’t exactly fit the title – quiet – but it was time with God nonetheless. Daily, I would pause reading to tickle toes or kiss boo-boos. Sometimes a little girl would crawl into my lap for all of fifteen seconds just to wiggle down again. God didn’t seem to mind the interruptions, and I didn’t either.

Then one day while I read, my daughter Grace climbed into the chair beside me with a hymnal. She flopped it open and slid the pages with her tiny chubby hands. “You reading the hymnal?” I asked as I glanced her way.

“No.” Grace said. “Bible. Bible like Mommy.”

And then I understood. I needed to have my not-so-quiet time in full view of my daughter. She was watching my every move. By choosing to read while my toddler ran in circles around me, I was leaving a lasting effect on my child.

These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.
~Deuteronomy 6:6-8 NIV

Are you struggling to find time to meet with God? Plop yourself down in the middle of it all. You might be surprised who is watching.

Although life seems routine and ordinary to me, God wants to make it extraordinary.  I think I’ve been doing the same thing day in and day out for so long, that It’s hard to see tomorrow through the eyes of expectation and hope.  I already know what to expect.  But am I willing to believe that even doing laundry can be extraordinary if God breathes life on it?

God is always breathing, always speaking.  And He wants to come and breathe new life into me.  I often forget that.  And I forget to breathe.  Instead, I settle for the stale air from yesterday, allowing my hope and peace to be replaced with exhaustion, frustration and defeat.

Breathing is necessary for living.  And just as God breathed life into Adam, He desires to breathe life into me every day.

“then the LORD God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature”.  (Genesis 2:7)

I want to carry His breath inside of me every moment of every day.  I breathe Him in through His Word and through spending time in His presence.  But I don’t take the time to stop and take cleansing breaths, inhaling Jesus and exhaling the cares of this world.  And sometimes I hold my breath, allowing contamination to build up in my spirit.

It’s only when I remember to breathe Him in that my anxious thoughts fall away.

When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul.  (Psalm 94:19)

How about you?  Are you remembering to stop and breathe Him in today?  Why don’t you take a moment right now and try it.  You will feel so much better!

Funerals made me catch my breath, hollowness in my soul, eyes dry and staring, unable to wrap my mind around the impossible forever of what-comes-next? Unable to understand how someone could ever be ready to die.

My very nature cringes at imperfections. My palms sometimes sweat icy when I realize something is out of my control. When I realize there is something wrong and I can’t fix it.

This holiday season I realized the seriousness of my fear when my throat was getting tight at the sight of burnt out Christmas lights. “They’re dead,” I whisper to my son. Then plaintively — “they’re broken, finished, I can’t fix them”. Stop pointing them out, please. 

Imperfection. Inability to control the future.

It makes me clench fists and furrow brow. I don’t want to see this tragedy of sin anymore. I wish to God that we lived in a perfect world without burnt out lights and rebellious teens. But we’re here. On an imperfect, sin-infused planet. And it’s time we remembered the Christ Child and the saving story of grace. I don’t want to continue to live in these shackles of fear.

Fear is saying no thank you to Perfection. Fear is saying no thank you to incredible sacrifice. Fear is saying no thank you to the Ultimate Gift.

But, perfect love casts out all fear.

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18 NIV

And as Rick Warren says, “The greatest tragedy is not death, but life without purpose.”

Love says thank you to the Perfect One. Love says thank you for His sacrifice. Love accepts the gift.

Really — what could be more freeing than the realization that my life is in His hands? The rebellious teen — in God’s hands. The mini light bulbs that I’m feverishly twisting, searching for a loose connection — in God’s hands. Literally. I can stop gripping things so tightly. I can stop worrying and fretting.

I can stop being afraid.

And life, with fists unclenched, breaths freedom and moves full of possibilities.

Thank you for freedom to live. Thank You.

“What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand”

lyrics from “In Christ Alone”

Then darkness.

The power went out.

I didn’t know what to do. Do I move forward to the 70% off signs in the toy area? Do I stay here? Do I go back to the light of the doors? And then another noise, and slowly lights began to flicker on. It was the generator pushing in enough power to have the store be half lit, without background sound, and leaving flickering lights.

As I continued my walk it was as if a barrier was broken between people. Shoppers who might just walk by each other were now talking and wondering about Target’s recent power outage. Employees were taken from what they were doing to quickly help close up the freezer and deli areas. It was as if we all woke from the slumber of normalcy.

It’s that way in life.

We move through our daily tasks as mothers — unloading dishes, changing diapers, reading books, laundry, teaching, driving, listening, solving problems, budgeting, rocking — on auto-drive. Much like me with my empty, but soon to be filled, red cart at Target. Then something happens to wake us up. Make us aware of where we are and what we are doing.

Sometimes it’s little things – laughter from a babe, a walk in the afternoon, or coffee with a friend. Then other times it’s life changing things – cancer, death, lost  job, moving and more. Whatever it is we are given this glimpse of awareness to the gift of the absolute beauty of the everyday.

But how do we keep it? How do we cultivate an environment in our homes where the everyday is celebrated? It takes intentional effort and reminding of self to focus on the real important. And that, my friends, can be found through our Savior. When we live a life where our path is filtered through His lens then we can begin to live alive and aware of the joy in the everyday.

When I left Target with it’s still flickering lights, I went to their Starbucks to grab a latte. As I reached to pay, the gal behind the counter told me, “It’s on us. Our register is broken due to the power glitch.” A gift. In the middle of the day that was jolted from being normal.  We as mothers have the opportunity to provide those moments for our kids. A story unexpectedly. We help with their chores. We let them stay up late. We make their favorite dinner.  A little note. Moments that celebrate life and show our children our love for them in the everyday.

Wake up, mothers! This gift, this time of being a mother is all too short to be pushing your cart of motherhood on automatic.

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2