This is a tough topic with many pros and cons.  Delaying kindergarten a year gives kids more time to develop fine motor skills needed for reading, writing, and holding still for 8 hours a day, however, on the other hand there are social ramifications of your child being a year-and-a-half younger than their peers.

Kindergarten has Become the New First Grade

Parents are almost obsessive with wanting their children to excel and be top of their class in everything.  These days, many schools require kids to be reading before entering kindergarten.

While kids are perfectly capable of learning to read before they can even talk (check out Glenn Doman’s work) I think that we are getting overly caught up in the demands we are placing on our kids.

The Biggest Con

The biggest con of putting your child in school before they are ready is the stress all the demands place on our kids.

According to a study done by Stanford Medical  School, stress is the primary cause of at least 95% of all health issues.  95%!!! This includes colds, disease, as well as mental health issues such as depression etc. That is saying something!

Bottom Line

So what should you do?  Ultimately, you are the only one who knows what is best for your child.  It’s a tough decision that is going to affect your child through their entire school career (and really for the rest of their lives).

To keep your child healthy and happy, don’t overload them.  As soon as your child begins to feel stressed at school, learning loses it’s magic.

Learning is meant to be fun!  Respect your child and their needs.  Allow them to grow at their own pace.  If you feel they are ready for school, go for it!  If you are hesitant, give your child the opportunity to develop a bit more.

Trust your gut and go with it.

Technorati Tags: homeshooling, parenting positive, Parenting Skills, Parenting Tools, Positive Parenting, Raising Children

Sanity Hero #1

Yesterday was my 4-year-old’s first day of preschool (we did preschool last year so I wasn’t too teared up sending him off with his new school clothes and backpack looking WAY more grown up than he did when I tucked him in last night … excuse me while I grab a tissue…)

Okay, I’m better now – back to the story.

For the past week the kids and I have had  cold.   A stuffy sinus head cold to be precise.  Definitely NOT one of my favorite things!  Since I’ve been feeling a it like last week’s garbage, I haven’t been exercising.  Yesterday I really started to feel it!  I felt grumpier than a kicked badger and couldn’t figure out what was going on.  Then it hit me that I haven’t even gone for a walk the past week. []

So after I woke up, I hopped on the mini-trampoline and bounced around to my Tony Robbins Get the Edge workout for 15 minutes.  I felt SO revived afterward.  Thank You Exercise!!!

Sanity Saver #2

At 11:15 I went to pick my 4-year-old up from his first day of preschool (pardon me while I dab at my eyes – they must still be a little sweaty today from the mini-tramp workout).

We were almost home when he started the frantic “I have to go potty RIGHT NOW” dance in his car seat.  In our mad dash home, we saw a concrete pump truck pouring a new foundation up the road from our house.

All awareness of a full bladder was forgotten with the desire to go watch the foundation being poured.

The ultra-mean mommy that I am, I insisted that he go to the bathroom before we walked up the street.  You’d think that Mount Vesuvius just blew it’s top again from the massive tantrum that erupted.  Seriously, I am still impressed by this emotional display.

About 15 minutes later he finally went to the bathroom so we could go and see the concrete truck.  It was nearing lunch time, so we watched the truck for about 15 minutes.  Mention of departure evoked yet another massive outburst from my 4-year-old, complete with kicking and top-of-the-lung screaming as I pushed our giant double stroller home.

What saved the day and diffused this massive tantrum?

Why none other than the Beegees of course!  It’s the ultimate antidote.

I cranked up “Stayin’ Alive” on YouTube and all thoughts of tantrum were scattered to the winds.  We all started shakin’ our groove thangs and mumbling through the words to the song we didn’t quite know.

60 Second Tip:

It’s amazing how something as simple as turning on one of your favorite songs and jamming out can totally change the mood of your kids (and you too!).  So next time when the situation gets intense at home, instead of getting totally frustrated and resisting the desire to run for the hills try turning on your favorite tunes and getting your groove on!

That being said, I leave you with the Beegees!  Enjoy!

Technorati Tags: 60 Second Strategies, Gratitude, parenting positive, Parenting Skills, Raising Children, tantrums

I just read a news article from the Onion (check this quick and humorous article out) about another mom who has learned the value of taking time for herself.

You know, sometimes when we get overwhelmed as parents our response may not always be the best.  I’ve found in those instances, when I take a moment to myself I am SO much better equipped to handly the situation with love and patience rather than irritation and snippiness (yes, I just made that word up).

Why Saying Nothing can be More Effective Than Saying Something

Ever heard the phrase “Silence is golden?”  Well, it can be golden in more ways than one.  In some situations (especially those when you feel like you are going to lose your cool), silence can convey a message more effectively than a whole dictionary of words.

60 Second Strategies:

So in those moments when you are about to start ripping your hair out by the handful and let loose a stream of words you might regret later, try silence on for size.  Go lock your door for a minute.  Take a couple of deep breaths, remind yourself of all the things you have to be grateful for, and see how much better you feel.

Then you will be ready to return to your family and be the amazing parent you want to be.

Technorati Tags: 60 Second Strategies, Parenting Humor, parenting positive, parenting tips, Positive Parenting, Raising Children, serenity

The other day was just “one of those days.”  You know the kind?  The kids were wound tighter than a spool of thread, they had WAY too much rambunctious energy to be safely contained within four walls and before you could even say “peanut-butter sandwich” things just started to melt down.

I hastily slapped some sandwiches together and tossed a couple of apples in the bag and exited stage left to expend some of this energy at a nearby park (one of our favorite diversions).

In spite of playing hard outside all morning, my kids still were a bit on the cantankerous side.  By the end of the day, I was just spent!  I needed a time out!

Mommy’s Time Out

As soon as my husband got home, I put on my walking shoes and bid him good luck and adieu.  I had to get out of the house and have a moment to myself.   While I absolutely adore being a mom and I love my boys more than I ever knew possible some days I just need a break to be me!

When I got back from 15 minutes of sweet solitude I felt positively transformed.  Here are three positive “unspoken” messages you give you child when you take a time out for yourself:

1. I value myself as a human being and will take care of myself first so I can care for those I love.
2. I recognize my emotions of frustration and I am dealing with them in a positive manner.
3. I feel better about myself and my situation when I take time for myself, even if it is only 5 minutes.

Because our children learn from our actions, these are powerful messages to give them and sets up the footsteps for them to follow in.

60 Second Parenting Tip:

Take a time out for yourself.  It can be as short as 60 seconds, but that minute will be enough for you to fill your own cup first.  If your cup is empty, you won’t have anything to give to your kids or family.  It’s that important.

The school year is fast approaching.  Not much longer until you will be seeing your child off at the bus stop and sending them to a day full of learning and fun.

Along with all the knowledge and adventure your child will be exposed to, unfortunately they will also be exposed to dangerous situations.

By nature, I tend to focus on the positive rather than the negative.  After all, good and bad are equally present in all situations.  It’s what we choose to focus on that shapes our lives.

However, there is a difference between oblivious ignorance and informed intelligence.  Safety happens to be one of those issues where an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.  Unless you teach your child how to be safe in today’s world, you are putting them at risk.

Teaching Children Safety

One of the most important things about teaching children safety is to teach them what you want them to do instead of what you don’t want them to do.  This has to do with the way our minds work.  If I tell you right now not to think of a pink elephant, do not think of a pink elephant, under no circumstances do I want you to think of a pink elephant, what did you see in your mind?

So when you tell your child, “Don’t run in the house,” “Don’t pick on your brother, ” “Don’t chew with your mouth open,” “Don’t forget to take the garbage out,” what your child hears is “Run in the house,” “Pick on your brother,” “Chew with your mouth open,” “Forget to take the garbage out.”

Get the idea?

When you are teaching children safety, it is important to remember to tell your child what you want them to do.  I still remember a college professor I had who spent so much time telling us what the answer to a question wasn’t, that when it came time to take the test I couldn’t for the life of me remember what the answer actually was.

Safety Tips for Kids

So instead of teaching your kids what not to do in order to be safe, teach them what they should do.

Instead of “Don’t get in the car with a stranger” say, “Only get in the car with someone you know and trust.”

Instead of “Don’t play with guns,” say, “Guns can be dangerous. Always be careful around guns.”

This may seem a bit like splitting hairs, but it is vitally important to your child’s well-being.

Safety Resource for Kids

Click HERE to learn more about teaching your kids how to be safe in a positive and effective manner, check out this program put together by Kelly Rudolph, founder of SURVIVE! Self-Defense, LLC  and learn how you as a man, woman, teen and child to live safer from verbal, mental, emotional and physical attack; improve your self-esteem, confidence and every communication and relationship in your life.

I just know that somewhere in all male DNA makeup is their own belief of the right to pee wherever they feel like it.  They feel that right even stronger than the constitutional rights to life and liberty.

The other day I took the boys to a park and another mom and her three kids joined us.  Much to the other mom’s dismay, In the middle of chasing each other up and down a hill, her 2-year-old son suddenly dropped his pants and began to water the lawn with his own equipment.  I couldn’t help laughing for two reasons (1) I know exactly how she feels, and (2) I was so relieved it wasn’t my kid doing it!

Potty Training is a Messy Job

Boy, do I know how that mom felt!  We haven’t begun potty training my 2-year-old yet for a number of reasons, so I only have one young potty trained lad to contend with.  He has done fun things like poop on the floor and then smear it into the carpet, pee all over the shower curtain because he thought it was “dirty,” and most recently he has started peeing under his bed when he doesn’t feel like getting up to use the toilet.  Ew!

My boys helped me to feel EXTREME gratitude for my Bissell carpet cleaner!  So how does one get pee out of the carpet after it’s soaked into the pad?

ENZYMES!

Don Aslett’s X-O Odor Neutralizer is the best enzymatic cleaner I have found for eliminating all sorts of unsavory odors.  It’s organic and it really works!!

1. First, take a couple of deep breaths to calm yourself so you don’t take your frustration out on the offending party.
2. Next, try and take care of the mess ASAP. The longer it sits, the harder it is to remove the stain.
3. With a clean white towel, soak up as much of the moisture (AKA pee) as you can.
4. Test out the cleaner in a small corner for color-fastness of your carpet.
5. Saturate the stain with the X-O Odor Neutralizer.  Be generous in your application – you want those wonderful little enzymes to devour this little puddle of joy
6. Let the cleaner sit for a while.  (I usually let it sit overnight for maximum effectiveness).
7. After soaking, take a bucket of warm water and a white towel and remove the cleaner from the carpet. (This is where I break out my Bissell, but a towel and bucked of water works just as well).
8. Let carpet dry.

Depending on how much your child had to drink before emptying out the contents of their bladder on the carpet, or how long the golden shower sat before you discovered it, you may need to repeat the process.

60 Second Parenting Tip:

I highly recommend involving your kids in the cleaning process!  This helps teach responsibility and consequences of actions and will teach them that creating messes creates more work.

Don’t use this cleaning time as just a scolding and punishment fest – instead talk to your child about how to clean up the mess and why it’s important to take care of the places we live in.  Instead of treating them like a dog and rubbing their nose in it so to speak, this can be a very positive learning experience for your child if you just take 60 seconds and engage with your child.

Technorati Tags: 60 Second Strategies, Life is Messy, moment living, Parenting Humor, parenting positive, Raising Children

By this, I mean that my 4-year-old has taken up arms with the flyswatter and is terrorizing the flies that are trespassers in our house.

Yesterday after he successfully dismantled one of his winged foes, he hunkered down to examine the remains and said a little prayer over the carcass that went as follows:

“Dear Heavenly Father, please take this fly back to your house and hug him and kiss him and then SWAT HIM!”

Everyday Opportunities

Adorable story, right?  I know it made me grin.  But more than just putting a smile on my face, it reminded me of the teaching opportunities that fill our daily life.

You may be thinking, “C’mon lady!  It was just a fly!”  but think about it for a minute.

As I have been swatting flies in my house, I took the 60 second teaching moments with my son as he asked me what I was doing.  We talked about how everything on the earth is God’s creation.  The fly has a spirit, and when I swat the fly, it’s spirit leaves it’s body and it returns to God and the Universe.

My son didn’t say a whole lot about it, but he was definitely listening.

60 Second Parenting Tips

What 60 Second moments can you find in your life with your kids?  I challenge you to take just one 60 second moment today.  Talk to you child, hug you child, engage with your child.  It’s really all it takes…can you spare 1 minute of your time?

Technorati Tags: 60 Second Strategies, death, moment living, Parenting Humor, parenting positive, parenting tips, Parenting Tools, Raising Children

As a mom of two little boys (2 and 4 years), I’ve had my fair share of experiences dealing with the inevitable tantrum.

For people who are so small, it can be downright impressive to see the sheer magnitude of the tantrums they can display. I mean really, you have to give them credit where credit is due!

However impressive the tantrum may be, it generally isn’t a desired behavior for the parent, especially if you just spent an hour and a half at the grocery store loading your cart to near overflowing (because shopping with kids isn’t something you care to repeat every day) and you are trying to bag your groceries and keep a wailing child out of the path of other shoppers.

So What Do You Do To Tame a Tantrum?

Bribing your child with a snack will only ensure a similar performance at the next outing.

Spankings - well, let’s just not go there … regardless what philosophy you subscribe to on spanking or how well deserved a swat on the behind, in our society it is frowned upon and might earn you a call from child protective services. Frankly, there are other solutions that are MUCH more effective.

Here are Some Tips to Tame a Tantrum:

#1. Prevention is the Best Cure – Yep, you can prevent them before you even start! How?

FIrst, make sure you bring a healthy snack your child enjoys packed with you (as well as something to drink). One of the main reasons most kids get grumpy is because they are hungry.

Second, plan your outings around naptime or bedtime. Tired kids are the perfect breeding ground for tantrums, just like the forgotten leftovers at the back of your fridge. Respect their sleeping times and you will save yourself quite the headache.

Third, talk to your child before you leave and let them know where you are going and how you expect them to act. Tell them how this is going to be fun (what they will see, do, etc). i.e. let them know what’s in it for them (and that doesn’t always have to be a treat.

#2. Silliness Tromps Tantrums – This method is 99.99% effective in our household. I’m serious. It nearly always works unless my kids are hungry or tired or sick. Even then, they can’t help but crack a grin.

First- In your sternest voice (feel free to point a finger to add emphasis) tell your child that under no circumstances are they to smile. “No smiling! You’d better not smile! And there’d better not be ANY laughing either!” The more stern you get, the more giggles you will hear.

Second- Get ridiculous. I mean this. It’s fun for you and your kids. It’s so easy to let our a massive sigh and get ready for a battle of the wills. We take ourselves too seriously sometimes. But why not act a little goofy and get both you and your kids laughing instead of all the seriousness?

Make funny faces. Start jumping up and down scratching your armpits like a monkey, complete with monkey noises. Start picking your child’s hair for fleas like a monkey would. Pretend you are an elephant and start sniffing around for peanuts (peanuts like to hide in necks and other ticklish areas). Make it a game. Tell your child that you bet you can get your shoes on faster than they can. Get creative.

Seriously, some of my happiest Mommy Moments are those when I’m making my kids laugh so hysterically they almost wet their pants (I actually did make my son wet his pants on two separate occasions. We were late for our appointment but that was entirely my fault and totally worth it!)

#3. Quiet Time- Because of all the constant stimulation in today’s world, sometimes your child really just needs some time to themselves. You might not remember what that is since becoming a parent. In case you have forgotten (I know I had to be reminded of this little luxury) time to yourself is when you are all alone and you can just sit and relax and be you. Heck, you can even go to the bathroom all by yourself!

Quiet time is different than a time out. Your child is not being punished for anything. You are giving them the opportunity to express their emotions and throw as big a tantrum as they want in the solitude of their own room (9 times out of 10 as soon as you remove the audience, the tantrum will stop).

When I escort my kids to their room for some quiet time, I let them know that they are welcome to be grumpy in their rooms, but it’s not respectful to the rest of the family. So as soon as they are ready to change out of their grumpy pants and are ready to be happy, they are welcome to come back and join the family.

So There You Have It…

Three easy ways to make taming tantrums FUN! Give it a try. I’d love to hear what worked for you…

Technorati Tags: 60 Second Strategies, Parenting Humor, parenting positive, Positive Parenting, Raising Children, tantrums

Have you ever had your kids look at you impatiently and roll their eyes and say, “C’mon!  Live in the NOW!”?

Did you know that behind the sassy-ness, there is actually wisdom in those words?  Think about it for a minute.  All we really have is right now in this very moment.  You don’t have yesterday, you don’t have tomorrow, you don’t even have 5 minutes ago.  It’s all right now.

If you spend your days worrying about tomorrow or dwelling on yesterday, you are wasting the only thing you really have…the moment you are in right now.  Have you ever said to yourself, “Oh, when I finally lose the rest of this baby-fat then I will be happy” or “When we get a bigger house, then I will be happy.”?

For some weird reason, our society programs us to feel that we are not good enough and we have to get more, do more, or be someone other than we are in order to find happiness.  Our kids are picking up on this idea that they have to find happiness outside of themselves which is setting them up for a life of dissatisfaction because true and lasting happiness can only be found within, in this moment right now.

So if you’re supposed to leave yesterday and tomorrow alone, what are you supposed to do right now and what does that have to do with self-esteem?

Well, that brings us to the next important step in building self-esteem and also in finding true and lasting happiness in your own life.

How to Build Self-Esteem in Your Kids: Enjoy Today

We get so busy in our lives and we rush, rush, rush everywhere we go and multitask till our smoke starts coming out of our ears that we miss the beauty in the small things in life.  When you are screaming down the highway of life at 100+ m.p.h. you are going to miss a lot of beautiful scenery.

Take a side road and show you kids the amazing things that surround us in life and show gratitude for all that we have. “Like what?” you may be asking  as your phone starts ringing and the dryer buzzes letting you know there is yet another load to fold and put away.

Well, let’s start right there – you are reading this on your computer (which is a miracle in and of itself ).  Someone is calling you on the telephone that could be next door or across the globe and you can talk to them like they were sitting in the room with you.  Oh, and as for the laundry … aren’t you glad you don’t have to take your laundry out to a stream and beat it clean over a rock?  I know I sure am.  There is so much to be grateful for in every moment of life if we take the time to see it and enjoy it.

Gratitude is really the key to happiness.  When you can be grateful for who YOU are and for all the things in your life.

Look around your daily life and take note of all the miracles that fill your every moment.  Talk to your kids about all these things.  Express gratitude OUT LOUD for all the cool amazing stuff in your life, for all the amazing people, for your heart that beats every moment of every day without taking a break.

You know another cool thing about gratitude?  You can’t feel grouchy and grateful at the same time…as soon as you focus on gratitude, your mood will shift instantly.

Life is simply incredible. Take 60 Seconds and point out some of its magnificence to your kids.

Technorati Tags: 60 Second Strategies, moment living, parenting positive, Parenting Skills, parenting tips, Raising Children, self-esteem

It’s that time of year when the flies are in all their obnoxious, buzzing glory! I suppose it wouldn’t be too horribly bad if they would stop trespassing in my house. However, they have all but a welcome mat from my two little boys who aren’t always that mindful when going outside and frequently our tattered screen door is left open.

However, even when it is closed, a bullet proof barrier it is not considering the toddler abuse it has sustained over the past several years. I suppose it is time to break down and repair the darned thing. Until said repair takes place, I am left armed with a flyswatter or dishtowel or other weapon to destroy the enemy.

Whilst waging this battle against these wing-ed creatures, I decided this was an opportunity to teach my kids about this species (An excellent 60 Second Parenting moment!). Though I may detest the little bugs, they were created for a purpose (other than to annoy me and get my counters dirty).

Okay, so what are flies good for? Here ya go, kids!

1. They are an excellent source of food – not necessarily for humans (though I guess you could eat them if you were in a pinch. Some find maggots to be quite the delicacy though it makes me squirm thinking about it). Spiders, dragonflies, frogs, bats, lizards, and fish to name a few feast on these flying insects. Think of all the fly fishermen – where would they be without ties flies for bait?
2. Their babies act as winged garbage men – yeah, this is pretty gross, but it is a very necessary job. Young flies (also known as maggots) feast on all things decomposing. This may be the trash in your trashcan, or it may be the remains of animals whose little spirits are no longer occupying their bodies. Remember the oft used quote from the Bible, “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust?” Well, these guys are a major player in the “returning to dust” part of the cycle. In some cultures, maggots are used to treat open wounds. Rather than using disinfectants and other treatments common in Western Society, they use maggot therapy to clean up a wound that is not healing. Weird as it sounds, it’s been an effective treatment for hundreds of years.
3. They have enriched our culture – What? Really? Well, think about it. The fly has inspired many authors, artists, and musicians through the years. Both U2 and The Dave Matthew’s Band have songs titled “The Fly.” And then there was that sci-fi film The Fly where a scientist accidentally exchanged some of his body parts for a fly’s. And of course, William Golding’s “Lord of the Flies” we mentioned earlier.

So there you have it. Three very good reasons why flies are upon the face of the earth today, making their way into houses and aggravating people world wide.

FYI, there is a very cute kids’ book on a fly that received the Theodore Seuss Geisel Honor Book Award.  Look it up.  It’s called “Hi, Fly Guy!”

Technorati Tags: 60 Second Strategies, homeshooling, Parenting Humor, Parenting Tools, Raising Children