625 Words�?�

I�??m Only About Half Myself at the Moment

Stephen R. Clark — Tue, 09 Jan 2007 03:38:00 +0000

The posts have been thin the last couple of weeks. Sorry about that. You know what it�??s like with the holidays and all. Throw illness into the mix and, well, writing is a bit tough. Turns out I�??ve been fighting a sinus infection for the past few weeks that kept sapping my energy. There were days I could barely function. I slept a lot on weekends and missed one day of work.

Proust was said to have done much of his writing while sick. Maybe even as a result of being sick. It must not have been anything like a sinus infection that fills the brain with sludge and sucks the energy from your marrow making you feel like a mindless rubber person. A brainless Gumby.

But thank God for antibiotics and health insurance. After missing work (at a job I really love) and struggling to focus on the days I was there, I finally made it to the doctor. Actually, it took awhile for the symptoms to clearly point to a sinus infection. I had some sinus surgery several years ago and ever since I don�??t get congested so it�??s not always readily obvious that what I�??m fighting is a sinus infection. What was great is that the doctor on call deals with the same thing and understood exactly what was talking about.

Better was having to pay only $20 for the doctor visit and $10 for the prescription. (By the way, I think antibiotics are the best things since sliced bread.) After freelancing for five years and not being able to afford health insurance, having it now is absolutely wonderful.

So, anyway, unlike Proust, my productivity falls off dramatically when I�??m not feeling well, especially when the illness impacts alertness and clarity of thought. So, forgive me, but I think it�??s bedtime. Goodni�?�..

Christmas Isn't Over Until the Fat Star Sings...

Stephen R. Clark — Fri, 05 Jan 2007 01:02:00 +0000

Nope, it�??s not over yet! Saturday, the 6th, caps the full Christmas season. It�??s epiphany!
The word and the day, Epiphany, hold a variety of nuanced meanings. Here are some abbreviated tidbits that may just be enlightening on the topic!

Eureka by any other name is...

One of the meanings of the word is "a shining forth" and initially referred to divine manifestations. However, over time, it also came to mean "a sudden manifestation of the essence or meaning of something."

Frank Maier wrote that he, "experienced an epiphany, a spiritual flash that would change the way I viewed myself." Usually the term as used in this sense is tied most closely to James Joyce.
Joyce is credited with first using the term in his novel, "Stephen Hero," which was a precursor to "Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man." He also used the term in "Ulysses" where Stephen Dedalus muses, "Remember your epiphanies on green oval leaves, deeply deep, copies to be sent if you died to all the great libraries of the world, including Alexandria?" Hmmm. Okay then...

For James and others who use the word in this sense, it points to those often unanticipated and startling moments when something suddenly crashes into consciousness with intense clarity. These moments often have a sense of spirituality about them and, for Christians, could be attributed to the working of the Holy Spirit in a creative way in our thinking. A muse zing?

On the 13th day of Christmas...

I had a tiny epiphany when it dawned on me that I had managed to get through the entire Christmas season without once hearing, "On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...." Wow.

Epiphany, January 6th, actually marks the true end of Christmas. The 12th day is the day before Epiphany. Some people leave their Christmas tree up until Epiphany, when, traditionally, it is supposed to be taken down and burned, or at least recycled.

All those gifts accumulated from your "true love?" They can now be returned, put to work, shooed away, auctioned on eBay, or eaten.

Three Kings a coming from afar*...

Epiphany is also known as Three Kings Day (or Festival of the Three Kings, or Adoration of the Magi), and is especially popular among Hispanic believers. It is viewed as the traditional day when the three Wisemen visited the baby Jesus and also celebrates the Christmas star that guided them.

For some, Three Kings Day is as big as or bigger than Christmas and involves even more gift-giving and great holiday food. Yum!

In Bavaria, there is said to be a custom called "Star Singers," where, from New Year's through January 6th, children dress as the three kings, go door to door caroling while holding up a large star. They are greeted at each home with money or treats, the money usually being given to charities.

It�??s a winter time trick or treat without the tricks!

Emmanuel! God with us!

According to The Christian Sourcebook (Ballantine, 1986), "Epiphany began in the Eastern Orthodox Church -- perhaps as early as the third century -- and originally was a celebration of Christ's birth. In the fourth century, however, December 25 was declared Christmas, and Epiphany took on its current significance. Although Epiphany falls on January 6th, it is often observed on the first Sunday after the New Year."

Given that the word epiphany derives from the Greek word for "appearance" or "manifestation," as well as "a shining forth," the day recalls the beginning of the light of Christ coming into the world when the �??glory of the Lord shone around�?? some frightened shepherds as angels announced Christ�??s epiphany.

What a bright thought!

* Bonus Funny: In a small Southern town a man saw a wonderful Nativity scene, but one feature bothered him. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets.
Unable to come up with a reason or explanation, he left. At a Quik Stop on the edge of town, he asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets.

She exploded into a rage, yelling at him, "You dern Yankees never do read the Bible!" He assured her that he did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible.

She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, finally jabbing her finger at a passage she said, "See, it says right here, 'The three wise men came from afar.'"

Time, Time, Time, See What�??s Becoming of Me

Stephen R. Clark — Mon, 01 Jan 2007 01:33:00 +0000

Have you ever thought about what a blessing it is that time exists?

Many don�??t view time as a blessing, but rather as a curse. We�??re often so busy that we feel pressed by time we don�??t have. The hours zip by and still there�??s more to do!

Time can also move too slowly when we are eagerly anticipating something good, like the birth of a child or the overdue visit of a special friend. Alternately, we�??re eager to have time move fast when enduring something painful.

Dorothy L. Sayers said, �??God is not subject to time.�?? She�??s right. The Bible tells us that �??With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day�?? (2 Peter 3:8, NIV).

Some have speculated that God perceives all time �?? past, present, and future �?? as the same. His gift to us was the passage of time as expressed in constant of day turning to night turning back to day.

This is a good thing for us. We express the positive aspect of time by often saying how time heals all wounds endured. While not said, it can also heal woundings we inflict.

Can you imagine the horror of everything we�??ve ever done being constantly present with us? Being totally honest, we know that if this were the case, all of us would be always sitting in a cesspool of sin. There would be no getting away from any wrong done. Toss in every bad thing that has ever knocked the wind out of us and it would be a pretty miserable existence.

Sure, there would be those few good apples in the barrel of our lives, but we also know the impact of the rotten on the good. But we�??re taking a look at time, not fruit.

When we screw up and sin, we can run to God�??s grace and find forgiveness. Every time. But not only is there forgiveness, but once the moment of sin is forgiven, it�??s gone. He removes it from us as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12). Every day, God�??s mercies are fresh and new and waiting to be lavished on us (Lamentations 3:22-23).

We can look back and reflect, but we don�??t need to live in the past. Nor should we. We learn from it and move on. Paul sums it up best saying, �??�?�one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus�?? (Philippians 3:13-14, NIV).

Just as we mercifully cannot reclaim the past, we cannot extend ourselves into the future. In fact, Jesus cautioned against focusing beyond the present moment: �??Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own�?? (Matthew 6:34, NIV).

There�??s a popular and horrible lie that is phrased in a variety of ways, but essentially says that past behavior predicts future performance. No! Paul counters that lie saying, �??�?�if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!�?? (1 Corinthians 5:17, NIV).

What matters is now. Hebrews 3:13 instructs, �??�?�encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin�??s deceitfulness�?? (NIV). German poet and philosopher Johann Friedrich von Schiller declared, �??He who neglects the present moment throws away all he has.�??

Be encouraged! It�??s a New Year and time for a new start. George Eliot was right when he said, �??It�??s never too late to be what you might have been.�??

God would agree.

Contemplating Grace in the Dentist�??s Chair

Stephen R. Clark — Sun, 31 Dec 2006 03:16:00 +0000

Have you ever been caught off guard with the realization that you are actually hard pressed to define a word that is totally familiar to you? You kind of know the concept evoked by the word, but nailing down the specifics of its meanings is suddenly elusive?

While you may think you�??re having what many call a brain fart, you�??re actually on the cusp of insight and epiphany!

The word that caught me up short recently is grace. Given that this was my mother�??s name and that I grew up going to church where grace was a common topic of song and sermon, you�??d think I�??d know precisely what it means.

I thought I did. But then an angel tapped me on the brain and I started thinking about what it means. The Holy Spirit does move in mysterious, and sometimes annoying, ways.

Grace is something nearly everyone wants, whether we understand fully what it is or not. The gist of the most common meaning is grasped easily by anyone who has been on the receiving end of grace.

Grace is an elegant concept tied to pardon, mercy, forgiveness. It is unmerited favor; receiving something we don�??t deserve instead of what we do deserve. If marriages were more grace-filled there would be far less divorce, which is a very ungracious and selfish choice.

When grace comes to us from God, it is entirely unmotivated by anything we do or say or are. All we can do is actively accept it or actively or passively reject it. This is the side of grace that ties in most closely to forgiveness.

But grace also apparently empowers, comforts, and relieves distress. And this is what tripped me up recently as I was lost in thought while being drilled at the dentist. For me, a visit to the dentist is a very peaceful and reflective time; until I see the bill and what I have to pay!

In 2 Corinthians 12:7-12, the Apostle Paul writes about a Satanic-sourced affliction that has gripped him in a terrible, tangible, and nagging way. It is something chronic and persistent and painful; he calls it his �??thorn in the flesh.�??

There is no way of knowing exactly what this �??thorn�?? was. If Paul meant �??flesh�?? as in his actual physical body, it could have been a chronic illness. Some believe it was a recurring and painful eye affliction. We don�??t know. In fact, if Paul meant �??flesh�?? in a spiritual sense, this opens the possibilities even wider. It could have been a particular temptation that he struggled with on a regular basis. The thorn was sent to him, as Paul states, to keep him humble; so maybe his struggle was with pride. We don�??t know.

We do know that the thorn was not removed despite Paul�??s pleadings. God�??s answer to his prayer was a simple statement: �??My grace is sufficient.�??

Well, actually the full response as recorded by Paul was, �??My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.�??

As I lay reclined in the dentist�??s chair with my mouth numb and the drill softly singing, all I could think over and over was, �??What the heck does �??my grace is sufficient�?? really mean?�??

�??I should know this!�?? I thought. But I drew a blank.

Then today I was reading in Mark and came to where Jesus says that we need to become like children (10:14-15). A child is utterly dependent upon their parent�??s grace, in every sense of the word.

That helps clear things up some. But not completely. I�??m still pondering and trying to get an even clearer understanding, as well as a better experience, of God�??s grace. Are you?

Prime Time Melancholy: Cheering On Women Abusing Men

Stephen R. Clark — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 02:18:00 +0000

Okay, so where�??s the outrage? Anyone?

What am I referring to? The ABC News Primetime: Basic Instincts report that aired recently. Actors staged loud, abusive arguments in a public park to see if anyone would intervene.

The catch was that it was the woman abusing the man, something not often seen (or at least recognized) in public .

There were some who recognized abuse as abuse, regardless of who is being hit, and stepped in. Most did not. In fact, women when asked why they didn�??t intervene said they believed the guy was probably getting what he deserved!

Most notable was a woman who actually made �??Rocky�?? like gestures as she passed. In �??Turning the Tables�?? posted on the ABC News site, Clem Taylor writes:

�??The reaction of �?� Lynda, was stunning. As our actress continued to heap abuse on her make-believe boyfriend, she walked by the scene and pumped her fist in a show of sisterly solidarity.�??

�??Good for you. You Go, Girl!�?? is how Lynda recalls her reaction.

�??I was thinking he probably did something really bad," she said. "Maybe she caught him cheating or something like that�?�and [it] made her lose it and slap him in the face. I reacted like, �??Yes. Woman power.�??�??

Sisterly solidarity? Woman power? Are you kidding me?

So, Lynda, if all things are fair in love and war, are you saying that it is okay for men to slap a woman in the face if she cheated on him or did something else really bad?

I doubt it.

We know such an argument would never fly. In fact, had it been a man abusing a woman, and another man cheering him on in the name of brotherly solidarity and men power, can you imagine the outrage that would have been generated?

There�??s been nary a peep of outrage expressed by anyone. Seems like what�??s been uncovered is a Godzilla-sized double standard.

The abuse of men by women is real and no less painful or tragic than the abuse of women or children. And just as no one else �??deserves�?? to be abused, neither does a man deserve it. But it happens regularly and there�??s not a lot they can do about it.

Taylor continues in the article:

According to Colgate University psychology professor Carrie Keating, women
abusing, even assaulting their male partners "is a big problem in this country."

�??There are some data that suggest that women actually hit more than men
do,�?? says Keating.

A report prepared for the Centers for Disease Control estimates that each year there are over 800,000 serious cases of men being physically abused by women. But the actual figures are believed to be much higher, since many men are often too embarrassed to admit being the victim of abuse by a woman.

It is embarrassing. And it hurts everyone.

I have a friend who was married to a very petite woman. She seemed sweet and innocent. That was before they were married. Very soon after, it was a very different story. She regularly assailed him verbally, loudly spewing obscenities most men don�??t even use. She regularly hit, slapped, pinched, scratched, and punched. She would even spit. Once, she threatened with a knife. When that happened, he was smart enough to just go for a walk. She was one of the most manipulative people he�??d ever known. And a really good actress. No one else ever saw even a hint of the person he lived with. Except for their small son. The marriage ended but the pain didn�??t.

So, Lynda, I say to you and all of your �??sisters,�?? abuse is always wrong and never deserved. It�??s outrageous that anyone would cheer on an abuser.

Pickle My Peccadilloes & Slap Me Happy! (Snippets)

Stephen R. Clark — Wed, 27 Dec 2006 00:45:00 +0000

A Coffee Tale: They�??ll Suck Your Brains Out!

Whether you�??re a coffee lover or not, you�??ve got to see this video. Go to www.Storyville.com, click on �??Enter High-Bandwidth,�?? then on the left-hand side under �??Video�?? click on �??The Truth.�?? Make sure your sound is on and prepare to enjoy a 4 minute �??docu-drama�?? that is an absolute hoot! And remember this, �??You can�??t put aloe vera on burnt beans!�?? Be sure to keep watching all the way to the end. Beware �??Big Coffee�?? who wants to suck your brains out and inject cows with botox stuff.

I don�??t know if their coffee is any good and won�??t be trying it anytime soon; it costs $4 to have an $8 bag shipped. They need to offer a small sampler with free shipping.

More on Ragin�?? Judith Regan

Well, pickle my peccadilloes and slap me happy, did you know that poor little Judith Regan is a victim? That we even need her and her trashy books?

Check out Jeff Norman�??s Huffington Post, �??Who Really Fired Censorship Victim Judith Regan?�?? Norman claims that the quashing of Regan�??s tasteless O.J. Simpson book project was quashed because of general public outrage, but rather through censorship inflicted by journalists.

What planet is he on? It wasn�??t censorship or the media; it was corporate societal disgust. And frankly, some things do deserve to be censored, but that�??s fodder for another post.

Even more pathetic is this lament from Sara Nelson at Publishers Weekly who claims that since Regan �??published profitable junk�?? that the publishing industry �??needed her, if only to make ourselves feel better about our choices.�??

Huh? How about just making better choices?

Again, what Regan got she earned. Most likely, as many have speculated, she�??ll return. That won�??t be cause for celebration, either. Publishing and the media in general do not need people like Regan pushing the envelope by stuffing the envelope with what should be flushed down the toilet.

Looks like Regan won�??t be the only one paying an attorney. Relatives of Ron and Nicole may be going after Judith.

Nude Fundraising Needs to Get Dressed

It seems the now tired idea of taking it off to bring it in is hitting new heights, or lows. More and more non-profits and other organizations are turning to calendars featuring people in the nude or near-nude (but with strategic body parts hidden) to raise awareness and money. The Humane Society of Jefferson County near Milwaukee is drawing attention this year reports Boston.com and Fox News. However, business prof Peter Rea suggest that a better idea is to target fundraising efforts on people who actually care about and are interested in the mission of the organization.

I agree with Rea, for a variety of reasons. The supporting constituency of a Humane Society represents a mixed bag of people with a wide variety of tastes as well as divergent views on morality. The same is true for most non-profits. While a cheesecake calendar might seem �??cute�?? to some, it would be a total turn-off to others who will forever never contribute again. Also, a calendar is a once-a-year hit with only a small window for strong sales. It would be a better use of the organizations resources to develop a year long strategy for fundraising. Finally, the idea is getting worn out and the novelty has waned.

It worked for the original Calendar Girls in England (although I cannot understand why anyone would want to look at photos of wrinkled skin all year), but for everyone else, it�??s no longer new and exciting.

No matter what your organization is about, a calendar featuring puppies and kittens is a safe bet, whether they�??re clothed or nude.

The Blessing of the Christmas Web: A Story (with apologies to E.B. White) PART TWO

Stephen R. Clark — Sun, 24 Dec 2006 00:10:00 +0000

(See 12/21 posting for Part One)

�??I was ten and we had a very nice tree, beautifully decorated. But there was one spot that was bare because the branches curled away from each other in a very odd way. My mother tried her best to fix a decoration in those unruly branches, but it just fell off. So, she gave up, telling me, �??Well, Helen. I guess this is the spot for the Christmas spider to decorate. I�??ve not seen one in the tree, but it must be there since the branches won�??t cooperate with me!�??�??

�??My mother explained that God sometimes sent a Christmas spider to decorate the tree in homes where there was a special need, to remind the family of how much He loved them. And as a sign of how He was going to bless them in the New Year. Usually, there would be one place on a tree that God kept open just for the Christmas spider to weave a magical web on Christmas Eve. A web of blessing that would be in the shape of the Star of Bethlehem, or a snowflake, or both! The bigger the web in the tree, my mother said, the greater the blessing could be expected.�??

�??Did you have a need in your house that year, mommy?�?? asked Jake.

�??Yes, we did. There was another war going on and my older brother was a soldier. He had been seriously wounded and was in the hospital many miles away in another country. We weren�??t sure he was going to survive. But let�??s get back to the tree and the spider.�??

The children did not object as Helen continued the story.

�??That year, on Christmas morning, right in the middle of the bare spot was the most beautiful web ever spun. It looked like an eight-pointed star with a tiny snowflake in the center. It was the most amazing thing I�??d seen up to then. Before we took the tree down that year, my dad helped me slip a piece of construction paper behind the web so we could preserve it.�??
�??Where�??s the web now?�?? asked Jake. �??Did you ever see the spider?�??

�??No, we never did see the spider. And the web was lost years ago,�?? Helen replied wistfully.

�??What happened to your brother? Did he live? Is he okay now?�?? asked Samantha.

�??Oh, yes, of course. He�??s your Uncle Joey. You�??ll see him tomorrow. Now, since it�??s Christmas Eve, how about some hot chocolate?�??

They sat quietly sipping their chocolate and admiring their little tree. Even though small, it filled their cramped trailer with a strong scent of pine. Jake peered among its branches, trying to see if, indeed, there was a spider crawling about. Again, he thought he saw something moving around, but never got a clear look.

Finally, the chocolate was gone and it was bedtime. After the kids were in bed and asleep, Helen placed their few gifts under the tree. She was very grateful for what they had, but wished for so much more for them all. Lying in bed, she prayed quietly, �??Father, we could sure use a few blessings this coming year.�?? Then she fell asleep and into a dream of her husband�??s arms.

***
When they awoke on Christmas morning, it had snowed and bright sunlight poured in through the trailer�??s tiny windows. Jake was the first to wake up. He zipped to the tree to get his gifts. Then stopped. He looked up at the tree and stepped back, his mouth falling open and his eyes growing larger than ever.

�??Hey! Mom! Samantha! Wake up!�?? he shouted urgently. �??Quick! You gotta come see the tree! Hurry!�??

�??What the....?,�?? Samantha grumbled as she pushed aside her blankets and came to stand next to Jake, and then froze, staring at the tree.

�??Uh, Mom,�?? Samantha called out loudly. �??You really do need to see this.�??

Helen was in no hurry to leave the warmth of her covers or the comfort of her dream. But the kids always got up too early on Christmas and she knew she had no choice but to get out of bed. She reached for her robe, wrapped it around her, and joined the kids, rubbing her eyes and yawning, craving coffee.

�??What�??s going o....�?? the end of her last word fell away into silence as her eyes cleared and she saw the tree.

All three stood dumfounded with amazement in front of their tiny, now elaborately decorated, Christmas tree.
It sparkled and glistened in the sunlight as if it were covered with millions of miniature diamonds. On every side, complementing their popcorn string, were neatly spaced gossamer shapes of stars and snowflakes, delicately and densely woven from silky filaments.

The entire tree was laced with silvery looping strands that went around and around the tree. The bright snow-amplified sunshine streaming through the windows combined with the draft that seemed always to blow through the trailer caused the webs to undulate and shimmer as if they were alive and electric.

�??Wow!�?? whispered Jake. �??There was something in our tree. It was a Christmas spider!�??

Then, as her gaze moved up the tree, Samantha suddenly pointed at the very top and squealed. �??Look! There it is!�??

At the very top tip of the tree was a large, reddish-greenish spider with its back toward them, not moving, looking very much like a small star, illuminated by a single golden sunbeam.

The Blessing of the Christmas Web: A Story (with apologies to E.B. White) PART ONE

Stephen R. Clark — Fri, 22 Dec 2006 02:21:00 +0000

�??Mom, can we please have a Christmas tree this year?�??

Jake Arainey was six years old and turned his charm on full strength. Gently pleading with his mother, he made his blue eyes as big as he could. He�??d learned this made him nearly irresistible to adults.

Before Helen could reply, Jake�??s older sister Samantha spoke up.

�??We can�??t afford a tree, silly! Besides, we don�??t have no decorations!�??

�??We don�??t have any decorations,�?? Helen said, correcting Samantha�??s grammar with a word and a look. Samantha, who was 11 going on 21, got the point.

�??Yes ma�??am, we don�??t have any decorations,�?? Samantha replied teasingly in a mock-formal way. �??And we still can�??t afford no tree!�?? She winked at her mother who rolled her eyes and then laughed.

Unimpressed with the play between his mom and sister, little Jake began to more earnestly make his case.

�??We have to have a tree,�?? he begged. �??If not, where will Santa put our presents? Even without decorations, a tree smells good in the house. And ...�??

�??We get it, already, Jake!�?? interrupted Samantha. �??But you�??re still forgetting that we don�??t have the money for a tree, do we mom?�??

�??Well, no, not really,�?? sighed Helen. �??But Jake has made some good points. Maybe we can find something tomorrow that doesn�??t cost too much. But now, it�??s bed time.�??

***

The �??house�?? the Araineys were living in was a rented mobile home, more commonly called a trailer. Everything was cramped. The kids grudgingly shared a tiny bedroom right next to their mother�??s teeny bedroom. They�??d been living like this for about eight months since their apartment and everything they owned had been lost in a fire. A couple of months after the fire, Tom Arainey, husband and father and in the Army Reserves, had been called up to active duty. Ever since, life had been hard in more ways than one, but Helen did her best for her kids. Their church was providing the rent for the trailer and just recently had given her a few Christmas presents for the kids. As He always had, Helen knew God would provide now, too.

***

They awoke early as usual, had a meager breakfast, then Helen went to work and Jake and Samantha went to school. When they got home that evening, Helen was stirring a pot of soup on the stove. On top of the little table where they ate stood a small, skinny evergreen about three feet tall. When Jake saw it his eyes got bigger than the day before.

�??A tree! We got a Christmas tree!�??

�??Looks more like a piece of a tree, if you ask me,�?? assessed Samantha, always the cynic. �??It�??s smaller than you, Jake.�??

�??Be nice, Samantha,�?? admonished Helen. �??It�??s small, but didn�??t cost anything. Some men were clearing the lot by the restaurant and I noticed them just as they were about to toss this little tree into the chipper. They were happy to let me have it and even nailed the crosspieces on the bottom for us. As far as I�??m concerned, it�??s a lovely gift from God. As for decorating, after you both finish your homework, we�??ll make some popcorn to string.�??

�??And eat!�?? exclaimed Jake excitedly. All through dinner, he couldn�??t stop staring at the tree, taking in its foresty aroma with every bite of soup.

***

As they wrapped their popcorn string around the tree, Jake pointed into the branches declaring, �??Hey! There�??s something in our tree! I saw something move in there.�??

�??There�??s nothing in that tree,�?? said Samantha. �??You�??re just seeing things.�??

�??Maybe it�??s a Christmas spider,�?? offered Helen.

�??Yuck! I don�??t want spiders in our house,�?? said Jake as he stepped away from the tree. �??They can bite!�??

�??Oh, Christmas spiders don�??t bite, Jake. They just spin magic,�?? explained Helen.

�??You�??re making this up, aren�??t you, mom?�?? questioned Samantha. �??There�??s no such thing as Christmas spiders. They would have said so in school.�??

�??Not everything that�??s true gets taught in school,�?? Helen countered playfully. �??While they�??re rare, I know Christmas spiders are real because I�??ve seen what one can do. When I was a little girl.�??

�??Really?�?? said Jake. �??What kind of magic did it spin?�??

(TO BE CONTINUED)

Idle Worship: Caught Up in the Hysteria of Seeing What Isn�??t There & Missing the God Who Is

Stephen R. Clark — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 04:08:00 +0000

It�??s amazing the places where the Blessed Virgin Mary allegedly shows up. Especially since no one really knows what the mother of Jesus looks like. Mary has recently been seen on toast, office windows, concrete underpasses, and now on a stump. In New Jersey.

Hundreds are convinced that a hacked stump on Hope Avenue in Passaic resembles Mary. They are so fervent in their belief, that they are building a permanent shrine to protect the stump.

I don�??t mean any disrespect, but one has to wonder why Mary would �??appear�?? in such places? Or rather, why are people so desperate to believe that she has appeared? If Mary were alive, I really doubt that she would approve.

In the Old Testament, the prophet Hosea wrote, �??They consult a wooden idol and are answered by a stick of wood�?? (Hosea 4:12, NIV). That�??s pretty much what�??s happening at the stump.

Throughout Scripture, idolatry is a bad thing. Over and over, there are cautions against it. In fact, the Ten Commandments specifically warn against making or having images that are worshipped or bowed down to (Exodus 20:4).

It�??s one thing to use an image or work of art as a point of focus for meditation or worship, but it�??s idolatry when the thing itself becomes the focus of worship. An article in The New York Times describing activity surrounding the stump states, �??�?�a week ago, more than 400 people gathered at the shrine from 8 at night until 2 in the morning to worship.�??

I can see evidence of God in everything around me. �??Since earliest times men have seen the earth and sky and all God made, and have known of his existence and great eternal power�?? (Romans 1:20, Living Bible).

As moved as I am by what I see, I don�??t worship it. Rather, I worship the Creator of all I see. I also don�??t worship any person, heavenly or otherwise, who is not the triune God. Christians are directed to, �??Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always�?? (Psalm 105:4, Hosea 4:12, NIV).

Even if a potato chip were to appear to �??miraculously�?? hold an image of what I may think Jesus looks like, that would be very interesting, but it would not become something to worship. The object is not holy, nor does it hold any special powers, other than the ability to run up the bidding on eBay.

Instead of a stump or a potato chip or a piece of stale bread, I prefer to have a relationship with the Guy who made all of those things and more possible.

But I understand the power of imagery, whether visual or created with words. And I �??see�?? images in things all the time. Faces appear in an intricately designed fabric, the whorl of a tree�??s bark, in an eddy on a stream, or even in the sky.

I like to get out often and walk for an hour or so in a nearby wooded park adjacent to a river. These are some of my best prayer times when I sense God very near. At these times, when a warm breeze wraps me like a hug, or the clouds form a shape that looks like God�??s hand glowing in the sunset, or a hawk calls out as it swoops majestically overhead �?? all these images are powerful and moving, but that does not qualify them to become the focus of worship, merely complements to worship.

After all, real faith does not need stumps since, �??�?�faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see�?? (Hebrews 11:1, NIV).

So, Have You Stopped Beating Your Wife? Just Answer Into The Mic�?�

Stephen R. Clark — Tue, 19 Dec 2006 03:05:00 +0000

David Paszkiewicz, a sixth grade teacher in Kearney, N.J., who is also a Baptist youth pastor, informed his students, in part, �??If you reject [Christ�??s] gift of salvation, then you know where you belong�?�.you belong in hell.�?? So reports an article in The New York Times.

We know that�??s what he said because one of his students recorded several sessions of the teacher�??s classes.

Going beyond the usual history curriculum, Paszkiewicz also declared that, �??evolution and the Big Bang were not scientific, that dinosaurs were aboard Noah�??s ark, and that only Christians [have] a place in heaven.�??

Even as a Bible-believing Christian, I would take issue with Paszkiewicz on a few things.

I have no problem with Christian teachers letting their students know they are Christians, just as I have no problem with teachers who are Muslim, Jewish, agnostics, or of any other belief or disbelief system telling their students where they stand. In fact, it�??s even okay, if a student were to ask, for a teacher to share a bit about the nature of his or her belief system. This is called learning.

Discussing the faiths of our founding fathers and historical leaders and encouraging students to talk respectfully about what they believe is fine. But a teacher telling their students that unless they believe exactly as he or she believes they will go to hell, or anywhere else, or nowhere �?? that�??s wrong. Even if it may be true.

The 16-year-old student, Matthew LaClair, while not particularly courageous, does have pluck. He stood up and exercised his right to free speech, bugges his teacher, and wrking with his father who is, of course, a lawyer, released the story to the press and stirring up a nice muddy frenzy over the whole issue. That�??s the American way!

Remember what our mom�??s used to tell us? Two wrongs don�??t make a right. In order to get his teacher to repeat the things he said when he didn�??t have his recorder in the classroom, it seems LaClair may have encouraged Paszkiewicz with leading questions.

Now, even though the issue had been addressed by the school officials, LaClair�??s father is still threatening a lawsuit against the district.

What�??s worse is that Matthew and his father have been somewhat vilified in a very non-Christian way for their actions by student and parent supporters of Paszkiewicz.

Enough already! It�??s Christmas, for heaven�??s sake. What would Jesus do?

Jesus would be respectful. Direct and blunt, but respectful.

There is a time and place for preaching the Gospel and issuing a call to repentance. Christ mandated that Christians share the Good News in every corner of the world. Obedience is essential to our faith. But there are right ways and wrong ways to go about this.

I attended a very conservative Christian liberal arts college in Springfield, Missouri. One of the things that I appreciated most about the Bible classes I took was that the professors did not force a single �??correct�?? viewpoint on us. Even when a student would ask what the denominational view of something was, the professors would respond with, �??You can look that up. Right now, what do you think is right?�??

They would lay out the differing views in ways that none seemed particularly right or wrong. They challenged us to think independently! Some students could barely stand the pressure, begging the profs to tell them which one view was the right view! Others of us loved this, and would debate the views with each other long after the classes ended.

What happened? Our faith got stronger because it became our faith. Oh yeah, we also saw our profs living out what they believed, respectfully.

When You Know the Truth, the Truth Will Taste Different

Stephen R. Clark — Mon, 18 Dec 2006 03:08:00 +0000

A recent article in the New York Times stated, �??Dr. Lee and two M.I.T. researchers, Shane Fredrick and Dan Ariely, found that they could change beer drinkers�?? taste preferences by telling them about a secret ingredient in a beer before they drank it.�??

The researchers had various bar patrons taste selections of beers, telling them that one sample had vinegar in it, but they did not specify which. Nearly all of those taking the test preferred the beer with vinegar. When they tried it, they liked it! Hey, Mikey!

But something different happened when tasters were told before drinking the beer which sample had the vinegar added. Can you guess the result? That�??s right. They didn�??t like it.

Okay, let�??s parse this out a bit. Beer drinkers like the taste of beer. Vinegar in beer sounds yucky. Therefore, beer drinkers will be biased against beer with vinegar �?? even if the vinegar makes the beer taste better!

Those who have not experienced the transforming power of Christ�??s salvation often look at people of faith as if they were flavored with vinegar of the bitterest kind. When asked to �??Taste and see that the LORD is good�?? (Psalm 34:8) they say, �??No thanks! Tastes bitter, too sappy.�?? Why? Because they�??ve formed misinformed biases about Christians.

I�??ll be the first to admit that some of the antics by some so-called Christians have contributed to the sour view some take of Christianity. But these few don�??t determine the real sweetness of true belief.

C. S. Lewis was an atheist of the most ascetic kind. He escrooged faith with a big, �??Bah! Humbug!�?? But he also had a very inquiring mind; a mind that was open to reason and exploration. As he sipped at the vinegar-beer of faith, over time, he recognized and acknowledged that it did indeed taste good. In fact, it tasted great.

Accepting Christ as your savior does not mean that life will never have a bitter edge to it; quite the contrary. Life is life and life can be hard. But what it does mean is that when the hard times come, they can still be sweet. Kind of like vinegar beer!

A very dear friend of mine lost his wife of 35 years to cancer. It was fewer than four weeks from the first sign of a problem until the day she died �?? on Thanksgiving Day. How did he respond? Being a man of great faith (and courage) he told me, �??Her last gift was choosing Thanksgiving to die so that we would have an additional reason to celebrate the Day each year by giving thanks for the memory of her life.�?? Wow. That�??s humbling stuff.

My friend and his son are not minimizing or spiritualizing what has happened. They both hurt deeply and are experiencing great sorrow at their lost. My friend weeps each time he thinks of his wife, which is nearly every minute of every day. Yet, in the midst of their very real grieving there is the profound joy of knowing that she is in heaven and they will see her again. For Christians, saying that someone �??has gone to a better place�?? when they die is not a euphemism offering empty comfort, it is a solid and sure reality.

One of the really wonderful aspects of God�??s love is that Jesus doesn�??t leave us alone even when we don�??t believe in him. He pursues and woos. If you have ever, even for a moment, considered truly tasting what faith in Christ is like, that means he�??s nudging your heart, having sought you out hoping you will now seek him.

Believe me; Jesus tastes far better than the kingliest of beers.

The Tyranny of Christmas Cards, Newsletters, and �?�. DVDs!

Stephen R. Clark — Sun, 17 Dec 2006 04:41:00 +0000

Every year I hear at least one person lament the chore of having to send Christmas cards. They just don�??t want to do it, but are pressed by a sense of social obligation. And it is a chore if you�??re list of sendees is exceedingly long.

I remember as a kid the cards my parents would get at Christmas from people they knew. No, not acquaintances or that guy that works down the hall at the office whose name you can never be quite sure of; people they actually knew and wanted to know about.

Many of the cards were from dad�??s old war buddies. These were special. There was always a note with just a little information about how the kids were doing. Sometimes there was a photo; often those tiny stamp size school mug shots. Occasionally there was a letter. A real hand-written letter! On that smallish special letter stationery! My parents loved getting these cards and truly enjoyed reading the snippets of news; the letters were true treasures.

But then, technology advanced. Typewriters got memories. A person could input an entire page or two of text and print those same two pages out over and over and over. With the ongoing evolution of the personal PC, these Christmas dispatches also evolved into ever more elaborate publications, some multiple pages.

Some were nicely designed and well-written. Most were holiday horrors. (Of course, not the ones I sent to my list of more than 200 semi-acquaintances.)

And now, again following the siren call of advancing technology, we have Christmas DVDs.
What are these?

Well, now, instead of just writing about Suzie�??s visit to the dentist or Johnny�??s T-ball homerun or mom�??s involvement with AA or dad�??s day in the office �?? all of these scenes and more are all caught on tape and edited (barely) onto DVD.

If you thought doing Christmas cards were a chore, can you imagine the time and energy and cost involved to develop a DVD? You have to remember to film everything significant that happens all year long. Then select and edit the real gems onto a DVD with a clever Christmas label.

What if you forgot your video recorder? Simple. One word. Reenactment!

Just pull the family together and act out the critical scenes of the year�??s highlights. Better yet, use Suzie�??s Barbie dolls!

People who are sending these digital greetings are putting 60 to 70 minutes (or more) of images and sound onto the disks.

Before, you could scan a two page newsletter in about 3 minutes and glean all the really useful information, toss the newsletter, hang the card, and you were done. Even fast-forwarding through these DVD delights will cost you at least 10-15 minutes. After all, you know that no one is going to watch them all the way through.

And just imagine if you received 10 or 20 of these mini-movies? At 60-70 minutes each, that�??s only 10 to 23 hours of viewing!

I think it�??s time to jump in Peabody�??s way back machine and return to days of yesteryear to follow the example of my parents and their friends. This would lead us to three guidelines for carding at Christmas:

Be selective and send only to people you really know; people you really want to know; people you truly care about.

Can the newsletters and the DVDs and all the other fancy reproductive technologies. These are supposed to be personal communications.

Buy a box of cards and write a personal, specific message to each person. To some, add a page or two of a handwritten letter. To some add some simple photos. To all add the truly personal touch of a real Christmas greeting.

Judith Regan Gets Pink Slipped: What the Heck Took So Long?

Stephen R. Clark — Sat, 16 Dec 2006 03:02:00 +0000

About a month ago the whole country suppressed a corporate urge to throw up after learning that ReganBooks (an imprint of HarperCollins which is owned by Rupert Murdoch�??s News Corporation) was going to publish the O.J. Simpson book, If I Did It, Here�??s How It Happened. The book was alleged to be Simpson telling how, if he had been the murderer (wink), he would have killed his wife Nicole and her friend Ron Goldman in 1994. The book was going to be kicked-off with a two part special on Fox featuring publisher, Judith Regan, interviewing Simpson.

The entire concept was nothing short of macabre and completely tasteless. However, the book and the TV special were heartily defended by Regan who seemed to believe she was providing some sort of public service rather than executing a gigantic professional faux pas and fomenting massive public outrage.

Booksellers were abuzz expressing their distress as they pondered whether or not to stock the title. No one I talked to had anything positive to say about the project or expressed any interest in purchasing the book.

Fortunately, just a few days after the story broke, the parent company, News Corporation, announced that the book and TV special had been kiboshed. It was speculated that the losses were in the millions which included recalling and destroying copies of the already printed book, the production costs of the specials, and the advance paid to Simpson.

Judith Regan was unrepentant.

Just a few days ago, Publishers Weekly broke the news that Regan was striking again with another controversial book �?? a debauched fictionalized memoir about the life of Mickey Mantle to be titled 7: The Mickey Mantle Novel. Those who had read the galleys described the book as debased and vile.

The author, Peter Golenbock, described the work as an inventive memoir. In one instance, he apparently invented a scene describing in lewd detail an alleged tryst between Mantle and Marilyn Monroe based solely on a one sentence stray comment made to him by Billy Martin. Others have stated such a meeting never happened.

I guess this was the straw that broke the proverbial camel�??s back. Judith Regan has been fired.
The New York Times reports that the firing was announced in a �??two-sentence news release�?? and was effective immediately.

Whew. Thanks, Ruppert! But what took so long?

Cutting edge has its limits and it was blazingly obvious that Regan had sliced herself up good with the poorly thought out Simpson project which had less than zero socially redeeming value. It wasn�??t an envelope-pushing idea; it was just plain sick.

The Mantle book is yet one more piece of evidence of Regan�??s slipping grip on reality. Who wants to writesuch crap? Why would anyone want to read it? And how did either project get so far along? Surely someone else in the corporation had to be aware that such debauched and pointless material was being developed and packaged. Judith Regan got what she earned based on her choices as the publisher. Now, who else within bowels of News Corp needs to be fired or at least rehabilitated?

One has to wonder about the deterioration of the great tradition of book publishing. Once, it was an honorable and generally trustworthy endeavor, with the desire to provide improvement and edification to society. Given this Judith Regan debacle, combined with other recent plagiarism scandals involving James Frey (A Million Little Pieces) and Kaavya Viswanathan (How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild, and Got a Life), publishing is falling further and further from grace.

Profits are important, but so are truth, integrity, civility, and wisdom. If Judith Regan had understood this, she might still be employed.

Fake Plants in Real Soil

Stephen R. Clark — Thu, 14 Dec 2006 04:52:00 +0000

There�??s a person in my apartment complex who places artificial flowers in the ground around her patio. It can be quite disorienting to see bright blooming flowers growing up through the snow in winter. Every time I see them (and I see them every day) I think of how my dad would react if he were alive.

My dad was a florist; a noted grower of real roses and other flowers. He was very picky about the quality of the flowers he would allow to be cut and passed along for sale. And he hated fake flowers. He could spot them a mile away. That is, until the technology changed and the fakes began looking more and more like the real thing. He hated that.

My mother preferred real flowers but was okay with the plastic ones. She felt they had their place. Dad usually bit his tongue on the topic around mom. He let her do her thing. She didn�??t make an issue of it. But even she would not have �??planted�?? fake flowers in the ground or even in pots with real soil. That would have just been too weird.

I agree. Some things just are not meant to be.

Yet, there are people who are like fake plants in real soil. You�??ll find them in every church or synagogue or mosque or temple. They know the lingo and the liturgy and have that dazzling yet plastic smile. But something just isn�??t quite right.

Real people of real faith will wilt when the soil is dry or the weather is harsh. They�??ll bend in the wind. They�??ll loose their petals when whacked. They�??ll turn brown when a dog pees on them. But they�??ll also recover, straighten, and arch toward the Son.

Fake plants don�??t do anything. They stay the same through a lot of tough times. But, oddly, when faced with constant Son light, they fade. And they have no roots. When the wind blows hard they get tossed around.

Across from where I live is a cemetery. Recently after a couple of very stormy days when the wind gusts hit the 50 MPH mark, there were a number of fake flowers scattered all around on the side of the street and in the shrubs of the apartment complex. They came from the cemetery where their skinny wire stems were all that held them in the soil. Without real roots to grasp the earth, they were at the mercy of the wicked winds.

Grounded Christians are like perennial plants. They may not bloom year round, but they�??re alive and solidly rooted no matter what. When the Son shines, they blossom.

�??But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit�?? (Jeremiah 17:7-8, NIV).

Christ is the real soil, but fake plants won�??t thrive in Him. Only those whose hearts are genuine in faith and trust will grow, become rooted, and hold firm in the end.

Christ said that in the end there will be many who will clamor to be recognized as genuine and true followers, yet who were fakes.

�??Many will say to me on that day, �??Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?�?? Then I will tell them plainly, �??I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!�??�?? (Matthew 7:22, NIV).

Fake plants in real soil don�??t produce fruit and have no roots.

Hate Mail for Gay Christians and Rabbi Scrooges

Stephen R. Clark — Wed, 13 Dec 2006 03:43:00 +0000

Elazar Bogomilsky is the Rabbi who stole Christmas from the Seattle airport, at least for a couple of days. The Christmas trees are back up now. They came down when the Rabbi expressed dismay that Christmas trees were being displayed but no menorah.

While the Rabbi claims he merely asked for equal treatment of the Jewish perspective and didn�??t mean for the holiday trees to be removed, he asked using the sledgehammer threat of a lawsuit, and yadda, yadda. We all know the drill. Someone feigns being offended, threatens the hapless offender, demands reparations �?? or else. So much for the spirit of Hanukkah! Oy!

It�??s ironic that every year at Christmas, non- and anti-Christians begin their evergreen assault on these alleged-to-be-overtly-Christian symbols �?? decorated pine trees �?? while Christians (especially the most conservative of us) who put up trees that we consider nothing more than fundamental holiday decorations. We don�??t worship them, nor do they enhance our worship of the Reason for the season; we just think they look pretty. Period. So stop needling us about this, already!

But none of this is the point of this posting. Keep reading. Go ahead, I dare you.

A couple of articles on the New York Times website today covered the issue of gays who claim to be Christians; specifically evangelical Christians. Quoted is one Jason Lee who is, of course, the gay son of an evangelical minister, and who believes both in the Bible and that he can�??t help but be gay. He�??s got a website that discusses the various aspects of this challenged lifestyle.

Preacher�??s kid Lee has received hate mail from �??both sides�?? of the gay-as-Christian-or-not debate. Rabbi Bogomilsky also got hate mail, along with several Jewish organizations, for his tree tirade. And I�??m sure a number of these missives were sent by misfit Christians, evangelical and otherwise.

Sigh. Can�??t we all just chill and express our disagreement in a civil fashion? Sin is sin no matter who does it.

I don�??t like what the Rabbi did or how he did it. He was right to express his opinion, but wrong to do it with a threat. I mean, holy menorah, lighten up! A simple, civil conversation most likely would have resulted in reasonable accommodation of the Rabbi�??s views. That the Rabbi was misguided in his methods does not justify anyone sending inflammatory and insulting hate mail. That�??s just stupid.

The same is true on the gay issue. Expressing dismay and disagreement with Mr. Lee and others of his ilk is fair. In fact, it�??s necessary. It�??s through reasoning, debate, logic, and passionate belief that minds are changed and hearts are saved. Not hate mail.

Christ was blunt and pulled no punches. The woman at the well (John 4) deserved death by stoning based on strict Jewish law since she was an active adulteress. What did Jesus do? He told her about her sin and told her about grace. He neither condemned nor condoned her sin; she knew the truth and she got to meet the Truth.

When Peter tried to correct what he saw as Christ�??s misdirection regarding death and resurrection, Christ rebuked Peter and set him straight in no uncertain terms. But, later, after Peter denied Jesus completely to save face, Christ made it abundantly clear how much he loved Peter. Again, there was grace.

There were times Christ, and his disciples, expressed anger and displeasure. But they never sent hate mail. They didn�??t threaten lawsuits to get their way. Over and over again, the Apostle Paul proved the adage that the pen is mightier than the sword. Sending hate mail disgraces the gospel and is as sinful as homosexuality and bullying.

It�??s Christmas. Let�??s be merry.

Let's Be Really Creative! Cutting Edge! Naughty! Let�??s Get Censored! Awesome....

Stephen R. Clark — Tue, 12 Dec 2006 02:41:00 +0000

The creative types that control TV, movie, music, and other media venues must be literate morons. They seem to believe that the more expletives that they can squeeze into scripts and lyrics, the more creative genius they're expressing. Being naughty is being equated with �??creative expression.�?? Showing bare butts and breasts is touted as essential to the creative integrity of the story line. Say what?

Wow! A bare butt! A swear word! A compromising situation! A character spewing strings of obscenities or doing something on the big screen that most normal people prefer to do it private is seen as edgy. It's all so �?� you know �?� creatively vapid and cheap.

Whenever there�??s a bit of storm raised protesting the use of foul language on the air or the big screen, the �??creators�?? always claim those complaining are attempting to repress and stifle the freedom of creative and artistic expression. Further, they attempt to justify themselves, saying of foul language and behavior: �??That's how everyone behaves and talks.�??

Odd. Most of the people I hang with don't talk dirty and flaunt immoral behavior. In fact, in most of corporate America, those who habitually lace their speech with obscenities or behave lewdly tend to get into trouble. Some years ago I worked for global corporation based in New Jersey. There was one manager in our area who could not open his mouth without being grotesquely foul. It was absurd. No one wanted to deal with him. His career stalled since he was reprimanded for his language repeatedly. He was like a bad TV show that wouldn't go away. Well, actually he did go away eventually.

Obscene language (and, yes, we all know what it is) is not creative. It impedes clear communication and even tends to inflame. People who swear a lot are usually very angry people in need of a bit of therapy. And they often aren�??t very intellectually astute. Any moron can swear like a drunken sailor; it takes someone with mental prowess to carry on a truly civilized and meaningful conversation.

As far as obscene visuals, it doesn�??t take creative genius to put a bare butt or other naked body part on the screen. And doing so usually does not add substance to the story line. If anything, it detracts from the creative power of the movie or TV show. It�??s disruptive and distracting. Worse is oppressively foul language in so much pop music of which much is nothing more than idiot's who can play three chords on an instrument cussing their empty brains out. It's neither entertaining nor art.

Being �??naughty�?? is easy and cheap. Anyone can do that. But telling a compelling and powerful story, or presenting a truly funny sitcom, or creating a really moving song, without resorting to obscenity or pandering to sexual innuendo or stripping the characters of their clothes or spouting degrading lyrics, takes real solid creative talent.

Frankly, when the expletives, nude scenes, profanity, or compromising situations start assaulting us from our TV or radio in our home, we can change the channel or just turn it off. In theaters, if the rating wasn�??t clear enough, we can walk out and demand our money back.

And if you�??re CBS, you can use your clout to insist, to curtail those exercising their right to free speech by commenting in an unflattering yet artistic way about your videos posted on YouTube.com, that filtering be put in place that deletes or deflects the comments, and then spin the action to appear as anything other than some form of censorship.

Oh, sorry. That last bit was off topic. But it was something that just had to be said.microid: 5143603f9efdcc65646ae97a8a1bedf6e67ac974