photo credit: foodiesathome.com

Have you ever fallen out with someone over which is the best ice-cream flavour? Or which Transformers film is better?

Well the answer to the second question is simple. The first film was amazing, the sequel was a joke! But ice-cream flavours? That’s a bit harder isn’t it?

You personally might think that mint choc chip is the daddy of all cold cream or that if you’re going to seriously talk about the frozen stuff, Ben and Jerry’s Fish Food is the only sensible choice.

The interesting thing is you’re both right and wrong.

A while ago I had a great post idea entitled, “I’m full of s*** and so are you!” that I wanted to write. It wasn’t going to be a viscous rant about people or society as a whole. What I wanted to do was to talk about how my ways of thinking and acting are only right if they align with your beliefs and your philosophy for life. Now, it’s a great title but for whatever reason, I didn’t write it. Now I do but with ice-cream! Humour me…

I once had a chat on IM with a friend of mine who is a devout Christian. She’s a very passionate follower of the bible and has some very strong beliefs about god and all that jazz. Now I’m a Buddhist and am more than happy for people to walk their own way in the world but she couldn’t quite get her head around why I wasn’t like her.

My response, which surprised her and may do the same to you, was “Christianity just isn’t my flavour, I’m more a of Buddhism kinda guy.”

OK, surprise is a bit off of the mark. It actually just stirred her up more and we had (in my mind at least) a very funny chat for about 2 hours about religion and why she thought I was wrong and would burn in hell! (Her words not mine.)

Anyway, as someone who is maybe trying to create a change in their life, a passionate believer in self development, a person who knows the value of having a great coach to guide you through aspects of your life, or all of the above, you’ll find a lot of stuff on areas of self improvement.

Sometimes it can be really hard to get your head around what is right and what is wrong. You maybe even see your favourite writers and speakers debating the value of their position and the frameworks they use to help you the reader. But who’s right?

Both of them. And neither of them.

A person is only right if what they are saying or doing aligns with what you believe about life and how it fits on your map of the world. If it doesn’t fit, you don’t use it right? Of course you do, even though you might not realise why you discard it.

If you find someone who is saying something that really hits at you somewhere deep inside, inspires you, motivates you or rings your bell then that person is right because that’s your flavour.

If you reading or watch something that is telling you that the Law of Attraction is the only way to create success in your life and it’s makes your skin crawl then obviously, for you, that person is so wrong that they deserve to be dragged through the streets naked tied to a charging horse!

But they may be right for the next person who comes along. They might quite like that brand of ice-cream. And, you know what, that’s OK.

Now you might be saying to yourself, “but Ben if you use this analogy then Hilter was right but he was wrong!”

Well yeah OK, to me, Hilter was bang out of line. That’s my belief though which is built from my own learning and experiences. Do you think you could find someone, even today, who thought the little dark haired man was right? Of course you can. Because they, for some reason, like that flavour.

All of the wise and wonderful people online like me [read: not very wise and only a bit wonderful] create blog posts, audio mp3s and videos because we want to help and guide people through times in their lives when they need to be guided. Sometimes people don’t need guiding. If they do we’ll be here to help them.

Are we all right? Yes and no. It depends what your favourite flavour is.

I know plenty of people who think self development, what I write online, and the moon landings are all crap but that’s their flavour of life and it’s OK. Do I fight it? Not often to be honest because I’d rather focus my energies on those who like my flavour.

So what do you do? How do you know if it’s a flavour you like?

Well you’ve got to give it a try and see. If you like it, great. If you don’t, that’s fine, just try something else or maybe make your own.

What’s your flavour? Am I it?

My new ebook on understanding the reasons people do what they do is coming out very soon. If you haven’t already, sign up to email updates to get your copy before it hits the rest of the net!Similar Posts:

None Found

photo credit: mystepped

Understanding how others think and make decisions is key to understanding someone and building rapport. When you know why people do what they do and why they make the choices they do, every decision you then make as a result is easier made.

But how do you do that exactly?

Well you can do it in lots of ways but here’s the way I do it.

Anyone who’s been here long enough will know that I follow a lot of Tony Robbins’s work. Some people don’t subscribe to his particular brand of work but his techniques and strategies help me make sense of things and the people around me. That’s what life’s about isn’t it? Finding the stuff makes sense and helps you do things better?

The framework that I use to help me understand why people do what they do comes from Human Needs Psychology and this is what Robbins has developed extensively during his 30 year career.

Needs, needs and more needs.

So the framework looks like this. Everyone tries to meet 6 basic needs through every thought, decision and action they make in life. The six needs are certainty, variety, significance, love & connection, growth and contribution. We work towards meeting all six but there are usually 1 or 2 that stand out particularly for us and drive the vast majority of what we do throughout our lives.

It’s one thing to understand what drives you but it’s something else to understand what drives others. That’s my aim here – to get you to think about what map other people are working to and how you can understand it a little better to help build a deeper understanding and rapport. Now it might seem a little bit backward to be talking about other people’s needs here before maybe some of you even understand your own, but there are a couple of reasons for this.

Firstly, I believe that by seeing how these needs show up in others, you can often see how they fit and resonate in your own life. For example, if you’re struggling to understand the need for certainty and how it affects you, by seeing how it shows up in a family member, you may find it easier to place that need in your life.

Secondly, and selfishly, I’ve got a brilliant new ebook coming out really soon that looks at this very subject but from a point of view of you rather than others. So sit tight for that one!

What’s their need?

Dave’s an all round nice guy. He doesn’t stand out in a crowd but he can be the life and soul of the party if he wants to. Dave has everything he needs. Nice house, cool sports car, two great kids etc. etc. He has a really cool life that’s very well defined. One of Dave’s proudest abilities is that he is very rarely angry and aggressive, something that many people remark on.

So, one day Dave comes home to find his house burgled and his precious car stolen. After a few minutes, after everything has sunk in, he completely loses it and flies into a rage that no one has ever seen before. It’s completely out of character.

But why does he do it? Most people would say “well he’s just had loads of his stuff nicked so that’s why” and they’d be right, on a certain level. But why didn’t Dave calmly and rationally take stock of the situation, be grateful for his family and deal with the problem at hand, his missing stuff? Because one of Dave’s biggest needs is that of certainty.

Dave likes to feel a sense of control and routine about his life. He likes things to be in the right place, doing the right things at the right time. When his limits of certainty are pushed, he feels he loses that control and doesn’t like it. When all of his stuff had been stolen he felt as far out of control as he could possibly feel and by venting in the way he did, he brought some of that control back (however negative it might have been).

Take a look around

We are all driven by these 6 human needs, certainty, variety, significance, connection and love, growth, and finally, contribution. It’s easy to question someone’s motives for doing what they do or saying what they say and put it down to “it’s just the way they are.” But why not dig a little deeper than that and look at why? Why do they do that? What needs are they meeting?

When you know what need someone is trying to meet, it’s much easier to build rapport and understand them. You can shape what you do to work alongside their needs and develop a great relationship whether at work, home, or in another area of life.

What needs drive you in what you do? Which out of the six is the most important to you?Similar Posts:

• It’s the little things that make a big difference. How do you flap your Butterfly wings?

Sometimes it’s important to just go with your heart and over rule your head. Sometimes you just have to trust your gut when it’s screaming at you and you haven’t been eating anything unusual (if you have, that’s probably why your gut is kicking off!)

So I know I gave you all an update at the beginning of the week, but I’ve had a bit of an epiphany and I want to share it all with you.

It’s been really important to me, since the day I started this site, to be a wealth of help and support to anyone who read stuff here. In my early days I used the same technique I’ve used countless times in other situations. I learned from the experts and those doing really well. Known as modelling, it’s one of the best ways to achieve success in anything and I use that approach all the time.

So in the early days I followed the advice and tips that are out there for bloggers. I posted regularly, eventually moving to set days when I would post. I jumped into the Personal Development Niche and ran with it. I wrote on lots of topics. Everything I could think of that would appeal to as many readers as possible.

But over the past few weeks I’ve felt restless. I felt like I was just creating content to meet the schedule and not because I necessarily wanted to. I was churning out posts because they needed to go out rather than because I had something really great to share. And that’s not a great way to help make a difference is it?

If you read Monday’s post you might remember that I said this about my writing on the web:

“If all of this wasn’t enough, I’m also looking to have some posts submitted to some very big blogs within the personal development niche over the coming months. Stay tuned for more updates about where these will be. If you’re interested in having me write for you, why not contact me and tell me what you would like? I have the capacity to write one post every 2 weeks for other sites so if you’d like a post from me, let me know.”

That offer and commitment still stands but ….

I need to make a change

This week I read something really inspiring that seemed to unlock a puzzle I’d been trying to solve for quite a while. That something was a post written by Glen Allsop at ViperChill.com called What You Don’t Know About Blogging: A Masterclass on the Newsphere. The post talked about how, as bloggers, we should be thinking about helping to solve a problem rather than fitting into a niche and that regularly posting can weaken your impact. And then the puzzle was solved.

I said in Monday’s post that I was working to focus the blog; to really help people who were looking to create change and to help people achieve amazing results. Now I finally feel like I’m headed in the right direction to be able to do that.

So from TODAY you’ll see the input here on 6aliens.com change slightly. I will still be writing to help people make a change. I will still be creating content to help people achieve amazing results. I’ll still even been sharing guest posts here too.

The way I’ll be doing it is by dropping the schedule for posting and only uploading posts when I’ve got something really great to offer.

I’m looking to be in a position where I still regularly post here. I hope to be offering something around once a week. But what is now much more important to me, rather than getting 3 posts out a week and a newsletter article out every 2 weeks, is to give you (the reader) amazing content that makes you sit up and take notice. That way, when you see me in your RSS feed, your Twitter stream or in your inbox, you’ll know something brilliant is waiting for you.

So hang in there – I’ve already got a great post lined up to come soon but I’ll let you wait a bit for that.

What things do you need to let go of and be more spontaneous with?Similar Posts:

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So if you’ve been here long enough, you’ll know that one of the things I get a kick out of is talking to, and sharing ideas with, successful people. I fundamentally believe that in order to achieve any success in life, you not only need to hang out with successful people but you need to learn from them as much as you can. So, as a bit of a change of pace, today I want to share an interview I did with my good friend and successful entreprenuer, Chris Ducker.

Orginally from London, Chris now resides in Cebu City in the Philippines where he is the CEO of the Live2Sell Group of Companies, a thriving total business outsourcing provider. Chris also runs and writes from the popular lifestyle design blog virtualbusinesslifestyle.com.

I asked Chris to spend some time with me talking about his amazing new service, Virtual Staff Finder, which works to bring you an easy and affordable process for finding a top quality virtual assistant. When I heard about this great service I was blown away because it really is the missing piece. It solves the one problem that can be a nightmare when you want to outsource.

In the above interview, Chris not only talks about this fab new service but also his thoughts on productivity and how people, including entrepreneurs, can become more effective in how they work. And everyone wants to know how to work smarter rather than harder, don’t they?

If you’re already jumping up and down excitedly then click here to sign up.

I really hope you enjoy this video. It’s a bit of a change of pace for 6aliens.com. Me and Chris had a great laugh recording it. If you’re waiting for my follow up on Napoleon Hill’s Major Attributes of Leadership, stay tuned because that’s coming on Monday.Similar Posts:

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photo credit: kenicii

Well it’s been a while since I updated everyone with goings on planet 6aliens.com so I thought now would be a great time to catch up. It’s really important for me to share some of the developments that are going on both behind the scenes and on the site.

Speaking

It’s been a really busy time for me, with the final few weeks of term in UK schools having me out on the road everyday speaking and running workshops. Even though it was a busy time of year, and it’s the same every year, it’s always rewarding knowing that I’ve worked with so many people and helped to create some change. Speaking will always be my favourite thing to do.

Coaching

My coaching work is off to a really great start. Coaching is something I’ve wanted to do for a while now and it’s amazing being able to work 1 on 1 with someone, to help them make more sense of their situation, achieve their goals and strip away the beliefs that are holding them back. I’m offering coaching to help people achieve their goals and motivate them through the challenging times, as well as more the diverse areas of presentation skills. If I can help you in any of these ways, contact me. The first 1 hour session is always free.

New Stuff – Freebies

I’m currently working on 2 FREE products for anyone who signs up for updates. The first will be an ebook showing you what drives you and what holds you back. The second is a 6 week course for new subscribers to help them unlock their own success. You don’t have to wait though to sign up as anyone who is already subscribed to updates will receive these before they are available to anyone else. Also if you sign up now you’ll get a FREE copy of Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich.

New Stuff

Also in development is my first product. I’m rather excited about this, even if I do say so myself, because this will be the first of many products I will be releasing over the coming years. This particular one will be focussing on helping people to create a lasting change in their lives. It’s a video a product and filming starts very soon. Keep yourself updated by signing up to the RSS and email updates.

Ben around the web

You may have also noticed, if you follow me on Twitter, that I have been writing regularly for a few different sites. The first of these is myentredex.com, a site dedicated to helping entrepreneurs in their business. I’m also proudly continuing my writing relationship with bigredtomatocompany.co.uk, Matthew Needham’s excellent leadership and business blog. And finally, you can also finding me regularly contributing to the excellent Life Skills Magazine run by Ayo Olaniyan. This one is a free emagazine full of great content for your personal development journey.

I’m also excitedly awaiting September, when I will become a regular monthly writer for the blog of UK Charity Give A Brick.

If all of this wasn’t enough, I’m also looking to have some posts submitted to some very big blogs within the personal development niche over the coming months. Stay tuned for more updates about where these will be. If you’re interested in having me write for you, why not contact me and tell me what you would like? I have the capacity to write one post every 2 weeks for other sites so if you’d like a post from me, let me know.

Looking forward

You’ll of probably got the gist by now that I’m currently working hard to take 6aliens.com up a few notches. This is a really important step for me and both 6aliens.com and thebenlumley.com. A part of this is going to involve me focusing my posts so that they can really help people who want to create a change in their lives or who want to perform at their peak. I want to do this because this is a way that I feel I can make a difference to you the reader. Stay tuned for some of these changes.

I would really appreciate, as always, any input you have on the content here at 6aliens as I am here to help you in your personal development journey. If you’d like to see any particular topics or posts here, let me know either in the comments below or via my contact page.Similar Posts:

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photo credit: aithom2

Welcome to another Friday’s Personal Development Homework. I’ve been away for the last week (although you may not have noticed) and I’m feeling refreshed and raring to go. There are some really exciting things coming your way soon which I’m hoping to share here very shortly – check out Monday’s post!

So over to this week’s homework. Having been away and out of the loop (kinda) for the last 7 days, there were so many amazing posts and articles to read that it was really tough to pick three out of my reading list. There’s no particular theme this week, just three really good posts that will help to shift some focus for you.

Enjoy!

An open letter to a teenage me

by El Edwards from HeavenAndEl.com

I can’t remember whether El has featured on a homework post before but this is one of my favourites from her. It takes a lot of courage and spirit to look back on your life and change what needs to be changed. El has done this and in this moving post, writes to tell her teenage self what the future is like. Inspired. I invite you to write yourself a letter just like this.

Wanting to change does not belittle the person you’re moving away from. It doesn’t make the ‘old’ you a bad person. You got to where you are with that person. That’s worth going back and smiling about.

Time Shifting For Success

by Christine Livingston from ADifferentKindOfWork.com

I think a really important exercise in life is to analyse how you are using your time so that you can maximise your efforts and ultimately create more success. In this post, part of Christine’s The Two-Week Work Detox Series, you are invited to question how you use your time by asking 3 simple questions.

What are all the things you’re doing that have reached their sell-by date? What are the attitudes you’re holding onto, implicit in what you’re currently focusing on, that need to be ditched?

Laughter is the best Medicine

by Tim Brownson from HowToBeRichAndHappy.com

OK, so I’ve raved about Tim before and he’s a nice guy and all but he does also write some good stuff. In this post he talks about one of the fundamentals for life, laughter. Having read about this topic in How to be Rich and Happy, I regularly watch or listen to something funny when I’m unwell or need a lift.

My reality (and that’s all I can ever offer you by the way) is that I take life as as seriously as it needs to be taken, which is not very.

Till next week…..Similar Posts:

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• Friday’s Personal Development Homework – A Twist
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• This week’s Personal Development Homework

Image from Inspire Political Discourse

One of the aspects of success that I’ve been learning about recently is Leadership. I’ve been driven by the question of what makes a great leader stand out above a good one. My search led me to a part of Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich, specifically Chapter 7, Organised Planning. Hill talks about what he calls The Major Attributes of Leadership. I want to share them with you today and suggest what each of them means in today’s society.

Unwavering courage

Napoleon Hill describes unwavering courage as self-confidence and courage. I believe it’s important for any leader, no matter which area that may be in, to have the balls to give something a go or to stick with it when all around them seems to be coming apart. There are no celebrated leaders in history who ran when they should have stayed. All great leaders have courage that stays with them in any situation.

Self control

There are times, as a leader, when all you feel like doing is lashing out, throwing a desk across a room and firing the first person you see. Great leaders today, as they have always, have self control. They keep their emotions in check and under control. That doesn’t mean that they’re not passionate and strong willed but they understand emotional intelligence is a key aspect of success. Today’s world involves a lot of stress and angst. A great leader will keep calm even though everything else might be on fire around them.

A keen sense of justice

Sadly, all to often today, people are trying to get one over on the person next to them to either make themselves feel better or to elevate them up the ladder of success. A great leader knows that this is not the way forward. They believe in fairness and respect, not underhand deals and politics.

Definiteness of decision

Hill believed a leader stuck to and was sure of his decision. The same holds true today. Can you imagine if someone like Barack Obama held a press conference and was completely indecisive and unsure of himself? Great leaders, those who make things happen, do so by sticking to their decision and being sure of themselves.

Definiteness of plans

Great leaders believe fundamentally in the theory of planning for success. They know this because they do it and it works, while others around them don’t and fail. Leaders who stand out from the crowd have a plan and work it, not guessing as they go but instead, leading from the front and knowing exactly how they are going to do it.

The habit of doing more than they’re paid for

Any great leader knows that the days of them sitting in an office or working for a few hours then shooting off to play golf have gone. They know that in order to get things done now, they need to be consistently adding value to the business and going further than their job descriptions say they should.

A pleasing personality

It’s clear that when he wrote Think and Grow Rich, Hill knew that miserable, aggressive and arrogant leaders are never any good. That hasn’t changed. The hard ass who kicks ass to get the job done might produce the results from time to time but they won’t become a great leader.

Sympathy and understanding

Great leaders know their teams. They understand them, their problems and their motivators. By truly understanding their teams, outstanding leaders can get the best out of the individuals that make up the whole. If you’ve ever worked under a leader like this you’ll know how empowering it can feel.

Mastery of detail

Leaders who stand out are masters of details. That doesn’t mean that they micro manage but rather that they know what needs to be done and how it’s done, especially when it comes to their role. Knowing and applying the details of their leadership role separates them from the pack.

Willingness to assume full responsibility

Responsibility is a funny thing. A lot of people think it’s about assuming responsibility when things go wrong and having the buck stopping with someone, maybe themselves. But responsibility is more than that. Its about taking control to make things happen, to celebrate the successes with the team as well as taking responsibility when the s**t hits the fan.

Cooperation

The final attribute of leadership, outlined by Napoleon Hill, is that of cooperation. Successful leaders understand that cooperation is the way forward as well as the way to maximise the results of the team. They also know that they must encourage their teams to do the same. As Hill says, “Leadership calls for POWER and power calls for Cooperation.

So there you have it, the 11 Attributes of Leadership as devised by the great Napoleon Hill. Next week I’m going to follow on with Hill’s 10 major causes of the failure of leadership.

Don’t forget if you sign up to updates from 6aliens.com you’ll receive a FREE pdf version of Think and Grow Rich. Sign up here.

Who do you think of as a great leader? Why not share your thoughts in the comments?Similar Posts:

• Friday’s Personal Development Homework

photo credit: dorena-wm

It is often said that knowledge is power. In truth, power comes from organised knowledge that, when used in a certain way, will bring about success. As part of today’s post I’ve included a short extract from Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich.

During the (first) world war, a Chicago newspaper published certain editorials in which, among other statements, Henry Ford was called “an ignorant pacifist.” Mr Ford object to the statements,and brought suit against the paper for libelling him. When the suit was tried in the Courts, the attorneys for the paper pleased justification, and place Mr Ford, himself, on the witness stand for the purpose of proving to the jury that he was ignorant. The attorneys asked Mr Ford a great variety of questions, all of them intended to prove, by his own evidence, that, while he might possess considerable specialised knowledge pertaining to the manufacture of automobiles, he was, in the main, ignorant.

Mr Ford was plied with such questions as the following:

“Who was Benedict Arnold? and “How many soldiers did the British send over to America to put down the Rebellion of 1776?” In answer to the last question, Mr Ford replied, “I do not know the exact number of soldiers the British sent over but I have heard that is was a considerably larger number than ever went back.”

Finally, Mr Ford became tired of this line of questioning, and in reply to a particularly offensive question, he leaned over, pointed his finger at the lawyer who had asked the question, and said, “If I should really WANT to answer the foolish question you have just asked, or any of the other question you have been asking me. let me remind you that I have a row of electric push buttons on my desk, and by pushing the right button, I can summon to my aid men who can answer ANY question I desire to ask concerning the business to which I am devoting most of my efforts. Now, will you kindly tell me, WHY I should clutter up my mind with general knowledge, for the purpose of being able to answer questions, when I have men around me who supply any knowledge I require?”

The important key to knowledge

It’s clear that Henry Ford was able to acquire knowledge in a way that would help him realise a goal. Not many of us has a desk with lots of buttons on it that we can use to summon knowledgeable people. Maybe you do, but I know I don’t. But the real power in knowledge is not in how much you know but more in how you can find information when needed that will help you develop the understanding you need to move forward.

A general knowledge is great, but in today’s hyper-diverse world, you can’t know everything. Rather than slaving away for hours through your collection of encyclopaedias just to know everything, it’s far more beneficial to your success if you know how to find information when you need it. If you can do that effectively and quickly you’ll be far more productive with your time and will reach your goals faster than the person who tries to learn everything.

For example, if I need to find out information about leadership and business success I can go online to Matthew Needham’s website. If I need know something about outsourcing or creating a virtual business lifestyle I can go to see Chris Ducker. I know if I need to have a better understanding of the work life balance that Christine Livingston is the person to ask.

But it’s not just blogs and researching online. When you know you have places and people you can go to for information, your struggles towards your goals will lessen because you’re not fighting to learn everything any more.

This is one of the failures with the education system. Young people are taught about a lot of different areas of knowledge but are rarely taught how to find the right information when they need it.

Let’s go shopping

A key skill when trying to find the right information when you need it is, when learning something new, to develop a habit of only taking the relevant information. We are all subjected to new information every day. Some of us read every day and are on a path of learning and knowledge gathering. But it’s important that you treat your learning like a shopping trip.

Why? Well when you go shopping you don’t buy everything in the store on one visit. That would be stupid not to mention expensive. Instead, you buy the things you need or those items you want. Sometimes you might return home with a lot whilst other times with you’ll get only a little but every time you shop you ONLY get the things you want or need.

You need to treat your learning in the same way. There is a wealth of information out there today but you don’t need it all. All you need is what’s relevant and helpful to you now! You can come back for more another time when you need it.Similar Posts:

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So it’s Friday again. These homework posts do come round quickly don’t they? For this week’s homework, I want you to have a jolly good think.

Over the past few weeks I’ve been getting to the legend that is Brian Tracy who, if you don’t know of him already, is a leading personal development author and coach. A successful business man in his own right from very humble beginnings, Brian is now the go to guy for coaching and is a best selling writer with more than 40 books published, more than 300 video and audio programs produced, and a live audience of more than 250,000 each year.

For this week’s homework I’ve found 3 very short clips on YouTube that, even though they are short, speak volumes. This homework is simple: listen and think.

You Are What You Think

Four Steps to Getting Past Obstacles

Fear of Failure

Similar Posts:

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photo credit: katerha

Today’s post is by El Edwards who is the founder of UK registered charity Give A Brick where she is working to empower unconditional love whilst on her personal blog, Heaven and El, she’s on a mission to spread happiness and rid the world of boring words. Say hello to her on Twitter, subscribe to her RSS feed or even just Give A Brick via Paypal. Whatever you do, just smile. It’s El’s favourite currency.

You wake up to the catastrophic melody of your alarm, drag your lead filled limbs out of bed, kettle on, tea, toast, teeth. Children greet you with a chorus of whines and grumps. Welcome to a brand new day? Here we go again!

Do your ever feel like your life is one uphill peddle with no over the brow wheeeeeee to look forward to? You try and do the right thing. You read stuff to encourage and spur you into action. This lovely place here has lots of wonderful stuff like that. Stuff you can learn from and use to help you grow.

The Success Interviews are another great example. Every single interview has something new that you can use and take action on in your own life. They’re brilliant. I love them!

But.

There’s always a ‘but’ isn’t there? (Well actually, I don’t think there has to be but that’s a whole other blog post. Remind me to write that one some time.)

But did you ever get tired of fighting? Fed up with pushing through and striving to emulate some far off success that seems to happen only to other people?

If so, I have some good news for you today.

I just checked the dictionary and do you know what? You’re already a success. You’re brilliant, just the way you are.

suc·cess  (sk-ss)

1. The achievement of something desired, planned, or attempted;

2. The gaining of fame or prosperity;

Number one, top definition of success – doing something you desired, planned or …. attempted. Cool eh? Instead of getting all tangled up and in a wreck because we’re not famous or rich, let’s roll around in the grass and be joyful over that first definition.

If you plan to do something and you do it, you are a success. If you desire something and you get it, you are a success. If you attempt something and it works, you are a success.

I plan to get my children to school on time. I desire a full eight hours sleep. I’m attempting to write this blog post without getting distracted by Twitter.

Think I’m being ridiculous? I dare you to give it a try.

I’m all for big, hairy, audacious, goals. I have dreams, aspirations and stuff that I can’t wait to unveil with a grand flourish and ‘ta da’ but there is a danger, if we forget about all the little teeny, tiny baby steps that get us there, we’ll get ourselves in a right old pickle.

Ask yourself Ben’s 5 Success Interview questions right now:

What would you say your passion is?

Think about the stuff that you love doing so much, you’d do it every single day. For free. What can you do right now to get more of that stuff into your day? Write it down. That’s making it a plan. Then do it. Done it? Congratulations. You are a success.

What gets you up in the morning?

Are you rubbish at getting out of bed in the morning? Bet you’d be up like a shot if your house was on fire or George Cloony was on your doorstep. What puts fire in your belly and a big girly crush in your heart? Find it. Do it. Love it. Congratulations. You are a success.

What’s your biggest motivator?

You know how sometimes you have stuff to do that you know you should do but you really don’t want to do it? But you know how eventually, (yeah OK, sometimes after a little procrastination, but eventually) you just do it?

Glance back up at our dictionary definition of success. There was something to attempt to do and you did it. Congratulations. You are a success.

How do you push through the tough days and obstacles you come across in life?

Look around you. What can you find to make you smile right now?

Dog just been sick all over the kitchen floor? Thank God you have that wonderful hound. He loves you unconditionally and will thank you abundantly the very next time you enjoy some fresh air together.

Stuck in work with a pig of a boss who just doesn’t appreciate how fabulous you are? Look on it as an opportunity to practice patience and bite your tongue.

Grab hold of the little stuff and use it as an opportunity to smile. Smiling now? Congratulations. You are a success.

What piece of advice if any, would you give to some one who wanted to be successful in life?

Find yourself a neat little notebook (Ben swears by his moleskin) or a snazzy app for your phone (I adore Awesome Note) and right now today, start making a list of all the things that you can put a tick next to as done.

I’m not talking about the super duper stuff that you’re so proud of you’ll be telling me, your Auntie Nora and the whole world in between. I mean the stuff that makes you smile. The stuff that, all on it’s own, you’ll allow your brain to discount as being too small to count.

Start that list right now. A week from now, go back and look at all the stuff you’ve done. Congratulations. You are a success.

Stop thinking of success as some far off ambition to be longed for and instead, today, right now, start celebrating the success that you already are.

If you plan to do something and you do it, you are a success. If you desire something and you get it, you are a success. If you attempt something and it works, you are a success.

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