The Power of Purpose : Delivering Emotional Depth to Life !

The Balance of Purposeful Life

The past few months, ever since 2012 announced itself on the calendar of time, has been a gut wrenching, heart thudding roller coaster ride, with my emotions spinning dizzily around. From battling illness in the family which finally concluded in the death of a parent, to juggling business balls, managing pre-occupied team mates, energising a sluggish market, shutting down business and resurrecting it again, making life happen everyday, delivering results in a daze of “doing” , holding sacred spaces in relationships, saying goodbyes, filling vacant holes in the soul, searching for elusive energy and enthusiasm, smiling through the tears, finding new friendships, learning whom I can count on and on whom I cannot, finding support and strength in loved ones, realizing how much family means and how much I take for granted. Maybe you are already reflecting on your own lives and finding much is the same with you or perhaps not, and that would be good too !

Brings me to the critical questions I am asking myself today, as I sit and observe the churn of these past months :

The Riddle of Purpose

What do I really Want from Life ?

What do I need to Give to Life ?

Who really Needs me ?

What do I really Value ?

How do I need to Live my Life hereon ?

None of these seem enough though as compared to when I ask the Question :

Why am I here ? What is the single-most important reason for my “being” who I am ?

If I can answer this first, then perhaps I can answer all the other questions too, flowing from this answer or truth.Or perhaps, if I answer the others, I may find the truth to this ?

For most of us, it may be the latter, as we are unlikely to make the leap of creativity of an unfettered soul, when we are so weighed down with our “goals” of an imagined life. Somewhere I sense my soul stirring, awakening into consciousness as I reflect on climbing to a mental higher ground, to create presence through increasing the intensity of the experience of wisdom, compassion, love, truth , courage and  awareness through as many moments of life as possible. By being awake to the cause and effect of the karmic cycle of life’s spinning silver cosmic thread that weaves around us continually creating the emotional content across the learning constructs of our lives.

In other words, if I can simply pay great attention to what I feel-think-do and how this circles back into my life, I will see the patterns of my life and the interplay between my personal cause and effect cycles, some complete and some incomplete, some wiser from learning, some stuck in entangled webs of emotions.

But how does all this allow me to sense my Purpose, the higher “being” within me ? Greater awareness for one, leads to higher consciousness and this bring us closer to the soul, wherein lies the shining light of our Purpose. Unconscious emotional attachments to our “patterns” , continually recreate the patterns , blindsiding us from the truth and wisdom of our experiences. Emotional contagion spreads from incomplete learning and like a broken record replays the stuck emotional tracks over and over again.

When the mind is  pre-occupied with the goals, ambitions and attachments of our daily lives of Doing and Delivering against the immediacy of life, the boggled mind cannot see the Purpose of our soul ( or heart if you like ) and our drives and motivations lie snared in the “purposeful” trap of the creation of the daily extensions of life. We set into motion, causes that have no way of finding the path of deliberate effect, but are random, discontinuous streams of activities that finally settle for meaning in themselves. Goals are set to explain the time spent in achieving them, rather than the other way around. In an “instant” world, instant clarity with instant purpose replaces reflective realisation, multiple alternatives ( career choices, lifestyle choices that define our lives more vividly than quiet construction of the foundations of values, family, relationships, community )   for a “meaningful” life replace the construction of the foundations or pathway to longer term powerful purpose.

Finding Purpose- A Personal Quest

Distracted by the buzz of a successful life, the emptiness that lies deep within us aches for filling, not satisfied with hobbies and sudden impulses that only serve to whet the appetite of our heart and soul, seeking more wholesome vocations that become the fuel of our lives, even while living and achieving our more clearly visible life and career goals and ambitions. It helps keep our jobs in a recession, promotes us to lead others who are happy to have us lead them, manage and build  businesses that truly create wealth for the community, lead balanced work lives, grow our families, and allows us to live longer healthier lives, without missing out on the fun and joy of living. We no longer live “off” others  but “for” others. Synergy provides the energy and enthusiasm of life.

The emotional depth of Purpose helps us develop an inner Lighthouse that serves to guide us not only in the far reaches of our lives but also in bringing strength, wisdom, compassion and truth to what we do every day. Because we are now conscious of the connections we forge everyday in everyway we make choices and decisions about what we do and who we are. And when we stretch our lives to reach pure consciousness, we shall be bathed in the light of our soul and the universe shall conspire to manifest our true purpose to create the “presence” we need to impact and influence the world around us.

by : Dexter Valles, Country Director, Six Seconds India

As part of the build up of EQ in INDIA and the need to create awareness at the Community level, Dexter Valles, the Country Director of Six Seconds India conducted Six EQ Workshops of the Redemptorist Congregation OLPS ( Our Lady of Perpetual Succour ) Parish Community leaders and Steering Council members, across 6 months beginning November 2011. These workshops were appreciated by everyone who attended them.

Around 50 OLPS parishioners regularly attended these workshops, initiated by Rev. Fr. Gregory Noronha CSsR

In the OLPS Weekly Newsletter 3I ( Ignite Inspire Inform ) distributed after every Sunday Mass, Fr. Gregory regularly announced each session of the EQ Workshops.

Here is a brief about each workshop:

Module 1 / Day 1 : Meet Yourself-Know Your Self

 

Our Bright and Beautiful Emotional Balloons!

Emotions play a significant role in our life. They direct our focus and attention to the issues we face and depending on how we manage our emotions , we make effective or ineffective decisions which impact our lives and those of others too. It is therefore important to understand the seat of our emotions – the neuroplastic brain, which transforms with every thought we process. The Emotional brain is where we can manage and coach our emotions to  be more effective, but we need to be emotionally literate – to recognize, label and understand our emotions and the information they contain. When we can “meet ourselves” we can get to “know ourselves”. This is the very first step towards developing emotional intelligence.

Creating the Experience :

The Emotional Balloons – Labeling Balloons with Emotions we were feeling at that moment

The K-C-G ( Know Yourself- Choose Yourself- Give Yourself ) Model of EQ

Are you  “Stuck on the Escalator”  too ?

The Emotional Cards- Making Emotional Faces , Labeling the Emotions on the cards ( Emotional Literacy )

The Brain Model of EQ – The Role of the Amygdala in our Lymbic ( Emotional Brain )

The Amygdala Hijack – The Curtain Call game – “Flight-Fight-Freeze”

 

Module 2 / Day 2 : Understand Yourself – Measure Your Strengths & Competencies against the demands of the day

 

Flipping our Emotional Carpet !

Emotional Intelligence is often thought of as a description of our capability to manage our emotions effectively. However, Emotional Quotient or EQ is a measurement of how emotionally intelligent we are. This is measured across emotional competencies which indicate what is being measured too. It is important that we work toward developing a wholesome development of emotional competence across all the EQ competencies. Understanding the imbalances and shortcomings in our emotional competence make-up can give us great insight why we fall into emotional traps and why we make some decisions we regret later. Our areas of strength in our bag of emotional competencies can help us develop our overall EQ savvyness by leveraging these strengths of our emotional character.

 

Creating the Experience:

The Strengths Report EQ Profiling Assessments – What are our Top 3 EQ Competences and how so they work for us ? What about those other 5 EQ Competences that are not the Top 3 – How do they support or  impede our effectiveness ?

The Bio-Dots ( Mood Colour Dots ) – A snapshot of our emotions at the moment !

The Carpet Flip Game -  Using our EQ Competences to Flip the Carpet Over while standing on it ( symbolic to “recognizing”, “understanding” and “managing” all our emotions and the emotions of others which straddle the carpet of our life, just like the people standing on the carpet)

The “Get Into the Circle” game – how to manage the emotions of fear and suspicion and hostility when trying to get into a group, influencing people, offering new ideas to closed mindsets, to working with new teams- what do we need to understand about our own emotions and how do we acknowledge, respect and manage the emotions of others

 

Module 3 / Day 3 : Learn to Navigate Life : Patterns Predict Possibilities.

 

Blindfolded Emotions @ Work !

Life is often like a choppy and churning sea hurling waves against the rocks or a foaming whitewater river rushing over the edge into the chasm. We are all in that emotional-water, learning as we go, how to manage the swirl, heave and pulls of the raging currents of our emotions. Navigating through our emotions to make the best sense of our lives, needs us to have a blueprint of ourselves, a kind of mind map of our emotional patterns, habits and compulsions. We can then chart our course through these waters to the safety of our desired destination and achieve the results we seek. Otherwise we risk battering ourselves against the rocks of our hijacked emotions or drowning in the churn of  an emotionally overwhelmed life.

Creating the Experience:

Brain Stew - Declaring Our Emotional Patterns !

Recognizing Patterns of Our Behaviour – The Cue Cards Game ( Words, Colours, Handwriting Styles that create Patterns )

The Chef Hat / Paper Crown Exercise with our Top 3 Patterns of Behaviour that get us into Trouble

The Blindfolded Build a Tent Exercise – to recognize our patterns when we are without Resources or without Control ( Blind ) or When we are in Control but do we Take Charge Effectively and Empower those who are “Blind” or do we succumb to our Patterns of Behaviour and become unable to Navigate through ours and others Emotional Confusions and Helplessness ?

 

Module 4 / Day 4  : Choose Yourself : Consequential Thinking & Caring

 

The Helium Rod of our Emotional Compulsions !

Look before you Leap, Think before you Act ! These are the “pause” buttons we need to hit when we  engage our emotions in our decision making. An life is full of decisions, little ones, big one, huge one and even the decision not to make a decision ! When we “know ourselves” more we understand our emotions, recognize their patterns, navigate ourselves through them to reach our objectives and keep “Choosing for Ourselves”, the tools we need to manage and drive our emotional cars. We need to begin as learners at the wheel of life and graduate to mature drivers of chance and change, thinking ahead of the traffic of others expectations we are negotiating, planning our route to success almost unconsciously, watching the rear view mirror as carefully as we peer ahead through the windscreen often fogged by the heat of our own and others emotions. Consequential thinking helps clear the mists and fog and teaches us how to use our emotional competencies to steer clear of trouble and navigate to success.

 

Creating the Experience:

Review of the 3 earlier Workshops – What is EQ, Why EQ, How to manage EQ, The KCG Model of EQ Competencies, The Brain Research – Neurobiology of Emotions,  Understanding our EQ profiles ( our Top 3 EQ Competencies – are they from the K-C-G zones ? What happens when each zone is not represented in the Top 3 Competencies ? )

The  Team Game “Maximize Your Score” – what Choices do we make ? Do we Choose to Care when we Compete ? Do we Choose to Win at the Cost of Others ? Do we work with TRUST or Choose to Create Mistrust, Do we have an Abundance Mentality ? What happens when we Choose to Care ? IS WIN-WIN a Choice in our lives ? )

 

Module 5 / Day 5 :  Lead with the Heart : The Roots of Empathy

Building and Bonding Together !

Dr. Dan Siegel says that “Empathy comes in many colours. Often we think of our ability to see from another’s perspective as the essence of social savvyness. Empathy is the competence of making others “feel felt by us”, sensing that their feelings are in tune with us, and that we resonate with their own inner life. This emotional empathy enables us to feel close and comforted, to sense that others are connected to us beneath and beyond the logic of rational thinking, and that we are concerned about each other, have compassion for each other’s pain and take joy in each other’s triumphs.” This makes empathy the vibrant rainbow in the emotional sky of our connected lives.

Creating the Experience:

 What is Empathy – Sympathy ? Concern ? Interest ? Emotional Partnership ?

How is Empathy expressed ? How is Empathy recognized ?

Can we have Empathy without TRUST ?

The TRUST Test – What is the TRUST Quotient in our relationships ?

Emotional Trophies – Appreciation, Gratitude & Humility – A Message from the Heart !

The Dance of Emotions – Do you Mirror Me ?

 

Module 6 / Day 6 : Give Yourself : Live & Transform Life Everyday

EQ Daily Competences ! Every Day in Every Way !

“Success in life does not necessarily mean acquisition of wealth. Success in life is said to be a state of being when one can come home at the end of the day satisfied with what one has done, being able to put your head on your pillow and have a sound sleep and … wake up the next day realizing that you are a happy individual, not only because you have found happiness for yourself, but in the process of one day’s work, you have given happiness to your spouse, to your children, to your family, to your neighbours and to the world at large.” Can we make this our mission too – to live and transform everyday life , everyday

 

 

Creating the Experience:

EQ Competencies in Life - A Women's Perspective !

1.  Group Activity : Each Group works on 2 EQ Competences from the KCG Model – and prepares a collage on chart paper representing the values, learning and application of that competence in life.

2. Presentations : Each Group presents their Charts to the rest of the participants.

3. Video : Celebrating What’s Right In the World – a perspective of looking at What’s Right instead of What’s Wrong, Believing in order to See, Making Positive Choices, Being Open to Believing in Possibilities that exist even before we know they are there, Transforming the way we Live Life by Transforming How we See it !

 

 

Giving Ourselves Wholeheartedly and With Noble Intent !

Choosing Ourselves Well !

E

Joshua Freedman and The Six Seconds India EQC Grads April 2012

EQ Season 4 @ Mumbai April 2012

Relive the Magic of the EQ Season with us at Six Seconds India. Catch a glimpse of the memories and experiences by clicking on this link
http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.356718874375950.74508.196375863743586&type=1

In Vedantic philosophy, “Karmabhumi” refers to the land of important work, the place where we can take action to fulfill our destinies.

This title was certainly one that kindled the depths of the intellect, as it managed to inspire and bring together a great collection of people across different spheres of the industry and from diverse personal and professional backgrounds, who wished to explore the possibilities of giving back and contributing to the place of work-karmabhumi, an extension of the concept of “janmabhoomi” i.e. birthplace. The entire motive of this kind of an interaction was seeded in the minds of the founders and India leaders of Six Seconds India, who wanted to answer this raging question that came up in different forms in their minds- “What is the Karmabhumi of Indian Business, and how will we grow leaders to co-create a prosperous and sustainable future for generations to come?”

The very first indication that this journey was going to be one transcending mere self-exploration and instead, contributing meaningfully to transforming the workplace and society at large was in the invite sent out to the participants. The thing about it that especially stood out was along with the names of the various eminent industry panelists chosen, the last line said….. “And YOU”. These 2 words set the tone for the entire program being an extremely interactive one, with people from diverse backgrounds and workspaces sharing their own personal experiences and opening their minds to the possibility that they can help initiate and create an emotionally intelligent future, which will then possibly snowball into a greater and wider movement and will demographically cover a wider range of people, directly or indirectly creating a positive impact.

The venue selected was the Waterstones Club, a club nestled in the heart of the city, yet one which welcomed you to the lap of nature with open arms, owing to the beautiful, scintillating greenery, the landscaped gardens, the beautiful flowers in full bloom, the beautiful poolside, transporting you to a paradise!! This itself set up the entire tone of being at peace with nature and yourself in an extremely tranquil and serene environment. As delegates, panelists and participants started streaming in, pleasantries were exchanged and there was an instant connect with the purpose and need that brought us all together to participate in “Karmabhumi”- the quest for building and nurturing better workspaces to bring out the best in employees and foster an emotionally intelligent workforce and work environment.

The program was kicked off with the introduction to the entire concept by Sanjay Dutt , a member of Six Seconds India who gave us an overview about how the entire concept and how it got the members of the India chapter inspired and intrigued to explore the entire concept of emotional quotient and use it to help create a more stimulating and favorable atmosphere that fosters contributions to highest levels. The first person to address us was the very affable Mr. Kandarp Singh, Managing Director, Tetra Pak, South Asia Markets. He mainly addressed the fact that this concept of emotional intelligence or quotient can be a major key to talent retention and engagement. There was a certain resonance factor that drew him to exploring this concept. He also stressed on the fact that this being the age of digitization, there was a need for better understanding between employees and the leaders and this would majorly necessitate an understanding of oneself to start off with. He also shared his experiences on the diverse cultures he has observed and how the understanding factor becomes the driving force for any kind of change to happen.

The next panelist who shared his thoughts with the gathering was Mr. Burzin Shahana, Vice President, Abbott Healthcare Pvt. Ltd. He mainly threw light on the highly independent nature of the current workforce. In addition he also provided insight into his realization that the conversion of individual brilliance into organizational success was how the entire organization can be diverted to a path of high performance and success. He reiterated the fact that there was a need for a synergy to be created through the multiplication of individual brilliance which would help the people and the organization to reach the pinnacles of success.

The next speaker to follow was Sonali Kelkar, another member of the India chapter, who stressed on the larger movement of change and how she foresees that the change will subsequently bring the “I” and “we” together and create something big through synergy and combining the forces and resources of both adults and the current youth. Her major goal is to rekindle the “human” aspect of people and create a value system for constructive change.

Dexter Valles, Managing Director , Six Seconds India , stepped up to address the gathering, by which time there was a fair idea of what the entire aim of this concept of Karmabhumi was. He further kindled curiosity as he shared with us his feeling that this entire gathering was a result of “serendipity”. He told us about what drew him to the entire concept of emotional intelligence and how the fact and maxim of “Walk the talk” appealed the most to him. He said for him, Karmabhumi was a steering wheel to make emotional quotient a way of life. When he heard this concept, he was reminded of his early days in the industry, where the unsaid motto was-“ creating relationships with customers” and this proved to be beneficial in many instances when the company needed the support of their customers to bail them out in their times of trial and turbulence. As he signed off, he said through the day we ensure to bring about “the global warming of the heart!!!!!”.

A Melting Pot of EQ Experiences Collage

As the vibrant personality of Joshua Freedman stepped up to address us, There was an instant rapport one felt with this warm hearted, jovial messenger of EQ !. One of the founders of Six Seconds, he stressed on the times of change that are being seen throughout the world where there is the aspect of creating contexts for growth and development of people. He said that there was a saying he came across which said that “leadership is all about creating a space where questions get answered.” He also put very aptly that India has been the country that provided the initial insights into the concept of emotional intelligence, but in the wake of digitization and development, we may have forgotten it and have digressed from the actual application of this very influential concept. He believes in integration of wisdom from the past, science of the present to build business for the future. The entire essence of his beliefs was captured in the last two words-“PEOPLE MATTER!!!!”

As if on cue to expressing oneself, we had a perspective of the Indian Army veteran, retired Colonel Nagi. He shared his experience in the armed forces on how there, leadership is usually forced. He also stressed on the concept of virtual leadership where a leader has to lead his troops, without even being physically present in front of them. He brought out the meaning of emotional intelligence in a commonplace way- it’s the realization of what you do daily, which explains the entire concept in a nutshell. He also brought out an interesting fact that the word “emotional intelligence” doesn’t appear in any dictionary in the world. This only brings out and highlights the fact that it’s a concept that is highly unexplored and need to be in times to come. He signed off by sharing his experience on how emotional intelligence is useful even to the defense forces of the country and how it helps in better understanding and strategic planning.

Another eminent panelist Dr. Prasanth Nair, President HRD, Thomas Cook India Ltd, confided to those at his table, that a positively charged, highly energized workplace is a key goal of any organization needing to survive and thrive in the context of not only today’s but the marketplace of the future we are creating. A passionate believer in the power of people, Dr. Nair was an enthusiastic participant in the ensuing discussions of the day. Clearly he had “Karmabhumi” in his vision for the future of the Indian workspace!

These amazing insights provided further set the stage for the activities lined up for the day. The first phase was the KNOW YOURSELF PHASE!!

A section of Karmabhumi participants

This phase was one filled with an exciting exercise to be done. We all had to pair up and think of one incident from life and the experiences, where after a completion of a certain task, you really found your actual calling/purpose and had this blissful feeling that everything was going right for you. This activity saw energetic fervor and discussion on each one’s own life experiences of finding bliss and the awakening. Most people recounted the experience of their moment of bliss and happiness. The entire room was filled with the cacophony of the people from diverse areas sharing their experiences and the joy and the exuberance reverberated throughout. We were then asked to form groups in pairs to share experiences of the paired partner to the group, mentioning what most appealed to each one of us in each pair about the other’s entire narrative.Each group then came up with the most prominent theme of the experiences and what all the members believed in. This was put in the form of a flipchart that saw all the thoughts and beliefs being penned down on paper, bringing the learning from each experience into vivid colour and awareness. This initial phase kindled and ignited the thirst for exploration in the minds of one and all and set the tone for the coming sessions.

The next phase was the CHOOSE YOURSELF PHASE!!

This part of the session gave us the chance to see and experience Joshua Freedman in action!! A co-founder of Six Seconds, Josh ( as he is affectionately called by all ) ,he decided to address the all-important issue of co-creation and how the issues in the workplace had to be sorted and resolved with the coordinated and continuous efforts of every employee, who is an important member of the company.  He brought out the statistics derived from the survey on Workplace Issues 2012, where the data collected spanned across roles, sectors and countries. The following were the major findings from the data:

1.     The major issue faced by the organizations was related to feeling of people- internal as well as external. People and relational issues were found to dominate the issues faced.

2.    Leadership was another issue, whereby the major concern was how much do the employees trust in leaders and what do they look for from the leaders.

3.    Effectiveness of leaders and how much they focused on the future development of their employees.

4.    Expectations of employees from the leaders. The main highlight was the need for better trust, feedback, communication, empathy and foresight.

All these findings and the other aspects of the survey in totality boiled down to one major fact i.e. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE!! This led to the quest to answer the ALL important question of what is the ROLE of EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE?? The major answers that came up were found to revolve around the following concepts:

Ø  EQ Fosters greater understanding and empathy in the creation of a people centric atmosphere and climate

Ø  It is found to be central to the alignment of organizational and employee expectations

Ø  It improves the relationships with the customers

Ø  It facilitates maximum contribution and value addition from members

These findings bring out the omnipresence of emotional intelligence in as miniscule a form but the positive effects of which could be seen all over the organization, across the levels. For an employer to create an emotionally intelligent workforce, he/she needs to institute and make the following attributes and qualities part of the entire organizational culture itself. The following are some of those qualities that managers stressed on:

Ø  Know yourself ( develop greater awareness of yourself and acknowledge how you feel )

Ø  Choose yourself ( develop greater awareness of the choices we all have to create a better life)

Ø  Give yourself ( its only when we give , that we get )

Ø  Navigate yourself ( through the storms of everyday life and the challenges that threaten to overcome us; by using the KCG Yourself above )

Ø  Engage intrinsic motivation ( to help us follow what we truly value )

Ø  Pursue noble goals ( to be people and society centric )

Ø  Increase empathy ( to connect with and engage the feelings of others )

As the discussions were on in full swing, it was noticed that there were certain raging issues that the groups of leaders came up with, which stemmed from their personal experiences in organizations and in the corporate world. One major issue faced was that of communication. The issue with it was the fact that sometimes, there is a break in the communication link between the various levels. This creates a barrier and brings down the level of emotional quotient as there is subsequent lack of understanding. Another significant aspect that came up through discussions was the fact that failure needs to be celebrated as much as success !!!! The reason being that if a person has failed at something, he at least knows where he can make amends when he aims at the second attempt to accomplish it! The other pressing  concern was on balancing polarities present in every organization. The final topic of concern was encouraging entrepreneurship and the spirit of taking risks.

As these issues came to the fore, Josh had, unknowing to us,  led us into the first and foremost phase of understanding emotional intelligence through a realization of oneself. 

We had begun to ENGAGE-ACTIVATE-REFLECT!!!! It brought about the churning of thoughts, a parallel drawn to churning of the ocean for the nectar of immortality (Hindu mythology), which in this case could be the sweet nectar of realization and change. He also took us through the steps to bringing about positive change.

Ø  Manthan-churning

Ø  Reflection

Ø  Realization

Ø  Insight

Ø  Decision about how to change

This again led to further stimulation of the intellect and made everyone think and understand this concept of leadership and change from varied perspectives. The entire session through the day saw thought provoking issues coming to the fore which were in a sense universally present in all companies throughout, irrespective of the industry and the country of operation.

The last session was centered on how the entire group would like to take this forum forward. The common thread seen throughout was the fact that everyone wanted to start out with a greater realization of oneself and then reaching out to their immediate environment, the people around them. This would then snowball into a greater movement, which would at the end benefit the entire society as a whole.

The entire day was thus extremely eventful where everyone went back richer in experience and with a greater sense of self-realization. The entire group promised to keep in touch and ensure that this entire effort was successfully raised to a higher pedestal and there would be more and more people jumping on to this bandwagon of KARMABHUMI so as to lead INDIA’S FUTURE THROUGH TRANSFORMING THE WORKPLACE WITH THE ALL PERVASIVE AND EFFECTIVE PRACTICE OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE!!!!!

This report was written by Ms Ananya Mani, a B-School student @ Mumbai-INDIA specializing in Human Resource Management. Her passion is Training & Organizational Development

SIX SECONDS EQ SHIKSHNOTSAV 2012  

at the Kishor Suryawanshi International School (KSIS), Nasik

EDUCATORS & PARENTS!!

JOIN THE EQ FESTIVAL OF LEARNING

Highlights of the program-

• Keynote Education address by Joshua Freedman ( http://jmfreedman.com/bio/ ) - a world renowned authority on emotional intelligence and Chief Operating Officer of Six Seconds, California, a global organization promoting applied emotional intelligence as a way of life, across the world, with 11 global offices and EQ Practitioners in over 75 nations

• EQ in the classroom  ( http://www.6seconds.org/education/ )

• Pursuing Noble Goals – a session for children

• Creating EQ Travel Adventures – a session for parents and guardians

• An introduction to EQ ( http://www.6seconds.org/2010/01/27/the-six-seconds-eq-model/ )

• The EQ wheel, and many more transforming sessions!

Who will benefit: Heads/ Principals of Educational Institutes, Educators, Teachers, Parents/ Guardians of students, anybody associated with educational institutes/ students who want to make a positive change in their personal and work life.

Date & Time : 6^th April 2012, Friday, from 8:30 am onwards through the day

For details visit http://ksisnasik.com, www.6seconds.org,  http://india.6seconds.org

Kishor Suryawanshi International School Family

In association with,

Six Seconds ,  Six Seconds India

EQ Workshops offered by

Six Seconds India in INDIA

LEADING INDIA With EQ ( 2 Days Workshop )

 Learn to apply Emotional Intelligence as a Competent Leader and Manager by:

• Learning mechanisms to increase personal, team, and organizational performance.
• Experiencing Six Seconds’ learning design to enhance the effectiveness of behaviour
• Understand the powerful “Know Yourself, Choose Yourself, Give Yourself” model
• Feel encouraged to apply the power of Emotional Intelligence in your everyday life
• Role Model Emotionally Intelligent Behaviour as a Leader
• Create and Manage the Emotional Wealth of People, Teams and the Organisation

“RECHARGE” EQ Relationships                    ( 1 – 2 Day Workshop )

R : Robust & Resilient Relationships
E : Emotionally Intelligence in Action
C : Change Paradigms of Life
H : Heal whats Hurting.
A: Appreciate Authentically
R : Recognise Patterns of Behaviour
G : Give Unconditionally to Grow
E : Engage Empathy

Managing High Impact ( 3xIMPACT )                 ( 1 Day Workshop )

Emotionally Savvy  Relationships

I : Inspire Influence Ignite
M : Mentor & Manage Mindfully
P : Positive Perceptive Passionate
A : Accountable Appreciative Authentic
C : Collaborative Caring Compassionate
T : Transparent Trustworthy Tolerant

Write to us for more details.

Dexter Valles, Country Director, SIX SECONDS INDIA, Mumbai-INDIA

Email : dexter@6seconds.org, india@6seconds.org

Planet Earth has been constantly evolving and every major evolution has accompanied a “shift” in the earth bringing about radical change, transforming the very face of the planet.

We too , the product of these major shifts have evolved along the way, but one wonders if we have understood our evolution or comprehended what we have really gained along the way from cave to skyscraper.

As we grew from togetherness and collective representations of ourselves to separation and individual representations of self, we stamped our presence and impact on the world, with what we uncovered, discovered, managed and created. Obsessed with evolutionary growth and in the quest of knowing more to create more, we manifest a world of perpetual striving, struggle, effort and travail. We drive ourselves to master every possible practice, process, skill to create capability and competence to create more and more to announce our greatness to ourselves and others in the quest to be accepted, honoured, recognized, loved, envied and even attacked as a measure of how much we have of what others want.

Our constant pre-occupation is with defining and re-defining ourselves often by the work we do, what we create , who we know, what we can do , in order to give ourselves an explanation about why it is important for us to control and dominate others who do not measure up.

Somewhere along the way we meandered away from the whole and complete people we dreamed to be to the people we are, mere representations of what we do. We transformed from being to doing, perhaps losing the soul of the human being to the shell of a human doing.

You may wonder what lies ahead. Will the world end with the next “shift”, will life as we know it change irrevocably ? We may not be as clairvoyant as some of the “light worker” writers who predict a major earth-shift to a brighter better future, but perhaps we can help ourselves return to the “human beings” we once were and connect our emotional mind-maps in a supportive relational manner that promotes true and fuller awareness, understanding and nobility of purpose to drive us to achieve our dreams of a more humane and integrated world.

Meditation teacher and originator of the Synchronicity Experience, Master Charles puts the whole issue in perfect context when he says, “We must focus on holistic models of reality… truthful, inclusive, love-based ways of being and living. We must invest in Oneness within ourselves… in a more holistic awareness… a more co-creative and mutually supportive relationship with each other and the planet. In other words, we must learn to live with balance and create a balanced world in which life-supporting values and experiences are the primary focus. Love must dominate over fear… truth over illusion… harmony over conflict… experience over concept… and we over me.”

We need to develop and raise our Emotional Intelligence to a level of focus and fluency in managing and directing the flow of energy and information in order to bring about Positive Change in the world we are creating day by day.

Bringing back the “Human Being” in us would need us to unchain and uplift the human spirit to soar with noble purpose and elevate, engage, enrich and enchant our and others lives with applied emotional-cum-social intelligence, balance and integration to deliver the richness and fullness of life.

An Article by Dexter Valles, Country Director, Six Seconds India

Parenting_A Leap of Faith

The children of today and their parents are subject to innumerable stressors and pressure-cooker circumstances of a competitive-crazy world. Managing daily life itself is a stupendous task. There seems to be no time or patience for anything or for that matter any person out of control or even out of the careful alignment with our regulated lives.  The careless and carefree child, both real and the one in all of us, must conform or convert to a sedate straight-jacketed adult.

Living on the leading edge of life in today’s rushed and rough times, involves both parents being actively engaged with careers that turn in the money to fund  the household and lifestyle economies. Growing awareness of competitive careers and advancement vistas in the great big span of working life, has helped cast the dragnet over even the most the unsuspecting home-warming individual.

Bounding out of the couch of comfort, both men and women are brandishing degrees and skills that lay claim to jobs and careers that demand an all-consuming attention absorbing time and life like a gigantic blotting paper.

Regulation, regimentation, rigour are the watchwords of a timetabled life , driven by the need for bringing certainty and predictability to an anticipated incredible combo of a see-sawing roller-coaster life.

Instead of creative-constructs we seek regulated-regularity. The happy lull of mediocrity is the way to an undisturbed life. But ever so often Life has other plans….

What happens when we are faced with uncertainty , when our time tables have no meaning, when our plans find no place to unfold, when our carefully crafted lives are ripped apart by reality ?

What happens when all this happens because of our children ?

Or the pressures put on our children ??

Such as competitive social lifestyles, expensive gadgets & gizmos, tuitions, peer-pressure, overly competitive exam pressures, study-load, rivalries at school / college, victimization by teachers, failure, fear-of-failure, success itself, substance abuse like smoking, drugs, alcoholism, absenteeism, sickness – real and imagined………… ???

Parenting can be a bizarre experience for both the parent and the child. Almost all parents, teachers and tutors expect the child to develop in to a superhuman composition of talent, knowledge, skills, competence along with vision, foresight, clarity of purpose, ambition, all neatly folded and pressed into the sharp edges of the shining blade of the sword of success.  All this must of-course fit into the pre-constructed timetable of the mentor, unfortunately soon to be tormentor !

Parenting from afar, remote controlling results, financing concern, and funding the future is the order of the day today.  But ……… the nagging questions that need answers from our hearts are …….

Where is the Love ?

Where is the Care and Compassion ?

Where is the Connect between lives ?

Where is the Soul of the family ?

The expected brusque answer you invariably get is : Where is the Time ?  Aha !  Find Purpose and the Means usually follows. Alas, the Means is oft the End !

 So here is a plateful of parenting goulash for the modern family meal:

1. BE INVOLVED : Decide to set aside time to connect with your children every day. Get to know your child and let your child discover you. Give the gift of togetherness, it is far more precious than any other.
2. CONNECT : Be a parent and a friend – and draw the line clearly between the two. Shuffle the cards and no matter which falls first, you will always deal a good hand. This makes the transition easier as you both grow.
3. VALUE : Always value the child. The messenger is sometimes the hapless carrier of an incorrect message.. Reinforce your belief in the person even when you have to admonish the behavior.
4. CO-CREATE : Take a personal interest in shaping, not shoving,  the child’s knowledge, skills and abilities, on a regular basis.
5. BE PATIENT : Do not expect miracles to happen. Give the child time to grow and learn. Do not rob your child of the delightful process of growing and learning, just as you cannot hasten the metamorphosis of the caterpillar into a butterfly.
6. SUPPORT & GUIDE : Be available to nurture the growth of your child- mental, physical, spiritual and emotional. It is important to move from choking controls of the regulating parent to performing as a nurturing parent within the footprint of the controlling parent. Which means while setting clear and enforceable rules, throw yourself into enabling and supporting performance within the rules.
7. COMMIT : Make a promise and keep it. Let you child see your commitment to the family. Demonstration of commitment is a sure fire way to build trust. Commitment means never giving up on promises, goals, dreams and especially people.
8. ]LEAD BY EXAMPLE : What you want your child to do, is best reflected in what you do and how you do it too. Role modeling is one of the most powerful ways to help your child grow by your own demonstration of the “right” way. We all remember what we see and practice. So give it a go, it will help you too !
9. FORGIVE : Learn to be generous. Bearing grudges and wielding the club of reform is hardly the way to conduct life. If you have to threaten , be prepared to carry out the threat, and bear the consequences. So wherever possible, forgive the messenger, and correct the message.
10. HAVE FUN : The bottom line here is so often in the red. What is life without a good dose of fun. Let your child grow in the sunshine of love and fun. Let the children of this world want to live on.

The Menu is the Meal.  Bon Appétit !! 

An article by Dexter Valles, Country Director, Six Seconds India

The Royal Seal of Approval is almost as coveted as the mysterious and elusive Holy Grail. Both are the result of Man’s quest for “Divinity by Proximity” because possessing either would mean raising of the mere mortal to the realms of the supreme spirit. From nothingness to everything, finite to infinite, inconsequential to undeniably intrinsic, banished to proclaimed, wastrel to apostle, rejected to celebrated !

Ah ! Rejection, the scourge of mortal mankind. For no man is an island, therefore he must relate to others and integrate with the rest of the world. Which in many ways translates to being accepted and approved by others in order to develop competence in the area of emotionally balanced and harmonious interpersonal relationships. Wrong !

All of us undeniably need to be appreciated, which is a positive stroke to our sense of being and doing. Dependency on this emotional hunger in order to feel better about ourselves is a disorder of rationality and often an emotional overrun at the amygdala stemming ( funny, because it also involves the “embodied” emotional signals and information from the heart and the gut too, transmitted by the brainstem )  from a whole slew of causes. Let’s take a look at some of them and see if we can figure a way to transcend these low level but continuous amygdala  hijacks of low self worth and fear of being found wanting and inadequate, to a sense of self worth and equilibrium.

We have been schooled to judge ourselves the way others see us. Our education system itself unwittingly endorses this inequity, with our sense of competence and ability being judged by others in the close confines and constraints of an academic assessment of memory skills rather than processed thought, applied knowledge and competence to deliver. We ignore emotional literacy and awareness, as a key to understanding self and the ability to regulate and manage the flow of emotional energy and information to choose “wisely” from our emotional toolbox of managing consequential thinking whilst remaining optimistic and intrinsically motivated about ourselves and what we are capable of doing and being. When we do this, it’s often thought to indicate high IQ rather than recognize that the source of the key decisions we make is embedded in high EQ. Somehow in ignoring the patterns of our behavioral responses, we often lose the opportunity to improve them by say, using our multiple intelligences across which learning can be delivered rather than force-feed it in a manner which cannot possibly produce the best results.

Experiences of feeling and therefore being undervalued across life could often find origins in our childhood and the parenting we have been exposed to. Lack of acknowledgement of the child, violent communication at the home even if not directed to the child but about the child, setting up rigid command chain structures at home by enforcing strict discipline and inflexible hierarchy demanding absolute compliance , goal setting for the child mindless of competence or capability and often to fulfill the unfinished, neglected or even denied dreams and aspirations of the parents, shuts off those areas of the mind which sense the physical pain and the pain of social shame, unfortunately severely impairing the entire reflective and processing neural paths for other important activities to develop clarity of reason and emotion too in the long run. The overpowering need for approval from others therefore grows roots into a deeply scarred emotional mind, with a contorted sense of self and an erosion of our deposits of self worth. And suddenly we are friends with “rejection”.

Karl Stern the noted German-Canadian neurologist and psychiatrist puts rejection into succinct perspective when he says “Psychoanalysis shows the human infant as the passive recipient of love, unable to bear hostility. Development is the learning to love actively and to bear rejection.”

 So how do we get beyond the fear of rejection? Simple. Learn to love ourselves. Using the Six Seconds KCG Competence Model of Emotional Intelligence we could translate this to, Know Yourself intimately(learn to know and appreciate yourself) , Choose Yourself well ( by concentrating on the patterns of your behavior, and then reframing your focus from what’s wrong to what’s right in your life, approving of yourself wholeheartedly to maintain your optimism and motivation about what wonderful things you are capable of ) and Give Yourself fully ( by celebrating who you are, and why you are here , using empathy and compassion as your guide-ropes ) remembering we are all Work in Progress and that Perfection is an endeavour, a journey. It is the journey that is significant, for the journey and not the pit-stops we make en-route, is the longest experience.

The next time you feel rejected, issue yourself a Certificate of Approval, signed and stamped by YOU! Encash your multi-million dollar future NOW! 

Emotional Intelligence is a journey of learning to be smart with our emotions. To be able to recognise and manage the energy and information which are delivered to us by our emotions. Along this journey we are bound to have many experiences which if put into context with structured models of EQ can become both interesting and useful to us in harnessing the power of positive change in our lives, our relationships, the decisions we make and the reality we manifest for ourselves and others we engage with.

Here are reflections suggested for each day of the week or even each entire week . And again, and again. It simply gives us an EQ agenda for the day and each day of each week and ultimately for each moment we live. Maybe you would want to recommend your own agenda of reflection too. But lets get about it . There’s so much radiance that awaits our lives as we journey into this golden vista of emotional sensibility.

MONDAY : Meet Yourself-Know Your Self

Emotions play a significant role in our life. They direct our focus and attention to the issues we face and depending on how we manage our emotions , we make effective or ineffective decisions which impact our lives and those of others too. It is therefore important to understand the seat of our emotions – the neuroplastic brain, which transforms with every thought we process. The Emotional brain is where we can manage and coach our emotions to  be more effective, but we need to be emotionally literate – to recognise, label and understand our emotions and the information they contain. When we can “meet ourselves” we can get to “know ourselves”. This is the very first step towards developing emotional intelligence.

TUESDAY : Understand Yourself – Measure Your Strengths & Competencies against the demands of the day

Emotional Intelligence is often thought of as a description of our capability to manage our emotions effectively. However, Emotional Quotient or EQ is a measurement of how emotionally intelligent we are. This is measured across emotional competencies which indicate what is being measured too. It is important that we work toward developing a wholesome development of emotional competence across all the EQ competencies. Understanding the imbalances and shortcomings in our emotional competence make-up can give us great insight why we fall into emotional traps and why we make some decisions we regret later. Our areas of strength in our bag of emotional competencies can help us develop our overall EQ savvyness by leveraging these strengths of our emotional character.

WEDNESDAY: Learn to Navigate Life : Patterns Predict Possibilities.

Life is often like a choppy and churning sea hurling waves against the rocks or a foaming whitewater river rushing over the edge into the chasm. We are all in that emotional-water, learning as we go, how to manage the swirl, heave and pulls of the raging currents of our emotions. Navigating through our emotions to make the best sense of our lives, needs us to have a blueprint of ourselves, a kind of mind map of our emotional patterns, habits and compulsions. We can then chart our course through these waters to the safety of our desired destination and achieve the results we seek. Otherwise we risk battering ourselves against the rocks of our hijacked emotions or drowning in the churn of  an emotionally overwhelmed life.

THURSDAY : Choose Yourself : Consequential Thinking & Caring

Look before you Leap, Think before you Act ! These are the “pause” buttons we need to hit when we  engage our emotions in our decision making. An life is full of decisions, little ones, big one, huge one and even the decision not to make a decision ! When we “know ourselves” more we understand our emotions, recognise their patterns, navigate ourselves through them to reach our objectives and keep “Choosing for Ourselves”, the tools we need to manage and drive our emotional cars. We need to begin as learners at the wheel of life and graduate to mature drivers of chance and change, thinking ahead of the traffic of others expectations we are negotiating, planning our route to success almost unconsciously, watching the rear view mirror as carefully as we peer ahead through the windscreen often fogged by the heat of our own and others emotions. Consequential thinking helps clear the mists and fog and teaches us how to use our emotional competencies to steer clear of trouble and navigate to success.

FRIDAY :  Lead with the Heart : The Roots of Empathy

Dr. Dan Siegel says that “Empathy comes in many colours. Often we think of our ability to see from another’s perspective as the essence of social savvyness. Empathy is the competence of making others “feel felt by us”, sensing that their feelings are in tune with us, and that we resonate with their own inner life. This emotional empathy enables us to feel close and comforted, to sense that others are connected to us beneath and beyond the logic of rational thinking, and that we are concerned about each other, have compassion for each other’s pain and take joy in each other’s triumphs.” This makes empathy the vibrant rainbow in the emotional sky of our connected lives.

SATURDAY : Give Yourself : Live & Transform Life Everyday

“Success in life does not necessarily mean acquisition of wealth. Success in life is said to be a state of being when one can come home at the end of the day satisfied with what one has done, being able to put your head on your pillow and have a sound sleep and … wake up the next day realising that you are a happy individual, not only because you have found happiness for yourself, but in the process of one day’s work, you have given happiness to your spouse, to your children, to your family, to your neighbours and to the world at large.” Can we make this our mission too – to live and transform everyday life , everyday ?