71 Toes

Friday Q & A

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 12:40:00 +0000

I have asked before, and am still interested in knowing where you got the "love more" sign in your entryway {see this post but don't look at it when it's all gross and brown, scroll down to after I painted it green}. I love it and SO need that reminder in my home right now. Can you please email me or post it on your blog? I would appreciate it so much.

I've had many questions about this lately so here you go: I went to Home Depot and had some wood cut to the dimensions I needed, sanded it down, painted it, and then painted the swirly "Love More" letters on it free-hand. After I painted them I used a Sharpie marker to kind of highlight the shadows so the letters look like they stand out a little bit. Then I got a quilt rope thing at Walmart and hot-glued it around the edge to create some dimension.

I have three little ones (barely 4, 2 1/2, and 6 months). My 4-year-old has always been the most obedient, helpful, loving little guy. Lately, though, he is TOTALLY pushing the limits... not responding when I am talking to him, harassing his little sister, yelling at me when I ask him to do something, etc. I'm completely taken by surprise because it came on so suddenly. We've never had to have any major discipline system in place because he's always been so good and easy. Anyway, do you have any suggestions for me?

The first thing that comes to mind when my kids change their behavior suddenly like that is that they are craving more attention. That's when they need extra snuggling and also maybe some extra "praise/responsibility." "Praise/responsibility" (let's call it "P/R" for short) is when you say something like: "Oh my word, I have noticed that you are so good at helping with the baby!" {or something else you really have noticed they do well...emptying the silverware in the dishwasher, clearing their plate after dinner, etc.}. "I don't know many other kids who can do that as well as you do. I'm feeling like I really need some help from a really big-boy helper. Do you think you could keep the baby happy for a little bit to help me out?" And then when they do, praise them up and down. "Oh that makes me so happy that you can do that so well! You are helping our family so much!" I swear the "P/R" thing works every time. Kids feel so much more secure and happy when they feel they are helping and valued.

To give more praise you could also go with the "talents on the fingertips" route I talked about back here, but be forewarned that your child may become so fascinated with those fingertip letters that she may decide to add her own...
Yeah, that's after scrubbing for a while the tub...
And yeah, that's her chin.

She got her legs too.

I think those are "G's"...do they stand for "good"? OR maybe "gregarious"? Who knows. But I personally think she should have written "T"'s for body "tatoo" artist. I mean, I think it's pretty talented to be able to write letters on your chin for crying out loud.

But I digress...

The very, very best thing I can think of in almost any disciplining situation with little kids like this is distraction. It works miracles I tell you. When Lu is pushing the limits I try my darnedest to remember not to let my emotions get in the way and change the subject. I'll say things like this in a very over-animated voice: "Oh my GOSH Lu, did you remember to tell Dad what you did at school today??" Or "Hey, I have a great idea! We haven't done a puzzle for a long time, let's go see if we can find a new one." Or "I have an important question for you: I'm wondering if you know how to draw a kitty." You know, stuff like that. I don't know if it's just Lucy, but it gets her every time. It sometimes even gets my bigger kids :)

The "not letting emotions get in the way" part is the key, because really, it's only going to give more fuel to the fire to get upset or openly frustrated. I know if a child is yelling at you it's the toughest thing in the world to keep your cool, but counting to ten helps. Really. And getting mad back doesn't. Believe me, I've tried it :)

Also, I wrote a couple weeks ago about how much I love natural consequences, time out, and the 1-2-3 Magic method. They work miracles. (If you haven't read that "1-2-3 Magic" book click here for more information that will change your life forever. That thing got me through my mothering of toddlers and pre-schoolers like magic :) I still do the 1-2-3- thing with my big kids and it works like a charm).

Which small camera would you recommend:

See the first question in this post.

Vegas

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 16:07:00 +0000

I'm at the airport heading to Las Vegas for a national board meeting for American Mothers. I'm excited to be involved with all that we will get to talk about despite feeling a little bad for cutting in front of a few people in the airport security line to make the flight only to have it delayed (I did ask for permission of course). Sorry about that, fellow passengers...

Also, I backed into my in-law's car the other night. I was a little distracted with Max sitting beside me begging to let him pleeeeeeaaaaase drive. I was a really good driving example that night.

Just thought I would share.

Love, Shawni

birthdays

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 15:29:00 +0000

Oh my word I'm not sure what to even say after all that kindness seeped into my computer and phone yesterday. Do I talk about how I will have to go back and read some of those nice comments/emails when I'm having a bad day? ...Or maybe I should print them out and paste them all over my kitchen? :) Do I talk about how much I wish I could respond to each person individually and tell them how I appreciate their kind words? Do I talk about how grateful I am for sweet friends who made me feel like a million bucks? Or about how my family took such good care of me?

Or do I hurry and rush on to another topic so I can change the focus here a bit.

Yeah, I think I'll do the latter. But first I have to say THANK YOU to everyone for making my birthday so nice. Because seriously, when you have a big milestone birthday like that it sure feels nice to be remembered. I headed to my gym class at 5:45 yesterday morning and found an email from a kind man in Brazil who reads my blog with google translation who was wishing me happy birthday. This led me to wonder how in the world he would know it was my birthday, which led me to more birthday wish emails which prompted me to check my blog and have my heart melt because of that sweet post. Then the rest of the day was just as good. It was a great day. I'll have to post pictures later.

But for now, on to other things :)

Let's talk about Claire's birthday. I kinda like that it's right before mine so it can take off a little of the attention!

So Claire's big day happened to fall on the same day as all the youth in our area were doing a "Temple Walk." This means there were nearly 1,000 youth and leaders walking early in the morning nine miles to the new temple that is being built in our city. {More about that back here and here.}

So I invited Claire.

I mean, what a better way to spend a meaningful birthday (turning 8 in our church means getting baptized...that's coming up in February) than walking with great older examples to see where a temple is being built?

But really, it was maybe pushing it a little far to have her walk the whole nine miles.

So I went to get the youth all situated early in the morning and then came back to have birthday breakfast with the birthday girl and the rest of the fam. (Max and Elle were at the walk and Dave ducked out of the picture because he was in his biking clothes...which I should really take a close-up of some day :).
And then we went to join the "big kids" who showered Claire with love on her big day.See the temple behind them?

She felt like a million bucks being so included.
Then she got to come home and open her presents.

She was pleased as punch about it all, but especially the one thing she asked for: a charging cord for her DSI that has been out of commission for a while.
But I think her biggest gift was that she got to have her friend spend the day with her...one who moved away from our neighborhood a while ago and who she adores. (It's always a good thing to have a friend when you're on an "off-party" year...especially when it's one of your best friends ever.)

She helped her do her treasure hunt to find her traditional candy-bar poster that Grace made up for her.It was a serious treasure hunt with lots of clues that went on forever. (Those are the clues they're holding up there above.)

(She was grateful.:)

We also went to a movie.(It was "We Bought a Zoo" which we all loved....I'll have to talk more on that later...lots of thoughts.)

Then we had dinner and came home for cake and ice cream.

Claire made a plan for her 8-year-old birthday cake shortly after her seventh birthday almost a year ago. It was going to have Oreo "dirt" and gummy worms: A gummy worm farm. She had drawn a diagram and I took a picture of it before it got thrown away.

I thought she would never in a million years remember that.

But she did. Every little detail.

So we had a "worm farm" birthday cake directed completely by the birthday girl.

I know, very random. I mean, it's not like she has an infatuation with worms or Oreos...or dirt. But hey, she was pretty darn happy about that cake.

And really, what's a birthday without having all the cousins come help you celebrate the day after?
We sure love you Claire Bear.

Happy Birthday Shawni/Mom/Hot Stuff

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 13:25:00 +0000

The kids and I are hijacking Shawni's blog to wish her a super happy birthday!! This is only the second time we have done this but it is such a big birthday we just had to. I know it is very rude to announce the age of a woman of a certain age so we will be as discrete as possible while we celebrate her birthday with the 40 greatest things we love about Shawni/Mom.

#1 Unbelievable ability to focus on others needs
#2 She loves a challenge
#3 Shawni is competitive but with compassion
#4 She has rockin arms
#5 If I have a problem she can fix it (Max)
#6 Loves newborns to tears
#7 I have never heard her speak an unkind word about someone else
#8 Shawni is very difficult to annoy (trust me I try)
#9 She has never burped in her life
#10 You are an amazing Young Women's President (Elle)

#11 She never wants to talk about herself, turns focus on others
#12 Changed from very shy to super outgoing
#13 Loves the world and wants to see all of it
#14 You have the best smile (Claire)
#15 Compassionate
#16 Incredible Scrabble player
#17 She plays with me (Lucy)
#18 Six feet of lusciousness
#19 Grabs great snapshots of life in her photos
#20 Ferocious fighter when pushed too far

#21 You make delicious dinners (Grace)
#22 Price conscience and thrifty
#23 She really makes me laugh
#24 You forgive and forget (Elle)
#25 Feels peoples hurt and prays for them daily
#26 You always know how to deal with anything (Max)
#27 Rarely has a bad day
#28 Never on time (wait, how did that get in there)
#29 Makes me feel like I wear the pants in our relationship
#30 You always understand us (Grace)

#31 Fiercely devoted mother
#32 Entertaining writer
#33 You are so nice (Claire)
#34 A great eye for design
#35 Never bought a tabloid magazine and has no idea who most celebrities are
#36 Reads me stories (Lucy)
#37 Very spiritually in-tune
#38 Really lives a well-balanced life
#39 Glass is always half full
#40 You are my best friend

We love you Shawni and know that everyday of the year you focus on others (family, friends, neighbors etc. ). But, today we want all the attention to be on you for this special day even though it will make you very uncomfortable and embarrassed. If any of you in blogland have a second please send a comment on what you love about Shawni or if you want a little more privacy send her a note to her email at sepphotography at gmail.com.

Shawni you are the greatest and I am the luckiest guy in the world to wake up in the morning next to you everyday. Now I gotta go, I need to run to the store and pick up thirty candles, we only have ten left in the house.

Max's room transformation

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 14:34:00 +0000

Last year we initiated the big "room switch" between Max and Elle.

They had been begging for years and finally we gave in.

So one week when Dave was in China we worked our little hearts out changing this:
to this:
(Yeah, it needed a bunch more work, but believe me, that was a lot for one week with all the stuff we switched around.)

Over the course of the last year it has finally come to look like this:If our kids ever wonder who our favorite son is, all they need to do is go look in there and see that larger-than-life picture of their brother. Wow, that turned out a little bigger than we had anticipated but we love it.

Oh what is that you say? We only have one son? Well, he's definitely our favorite :)

Ok, so here are some pictures of the process:
We bought a new dresser and nightstand at IKEA.

Now, IKEA sounds like a great idea when you look at a picture on the internet and check out the prices. It even sounds good when you see that piece of furniture live all put together like it's easy-peasy in front of you in that giant-maze-of-a-showroom.

But when you get home and take out all the pieces you think you should probably just go ahead and kick yourself.

...until it turns into a giant project with your kids helping...particularly that one who is going to use the furniture.
You think that they may not be able to follow those tricky instructions, but then you realize that really, they are smarter and more crafty than you had given them credit for.

I don't have a picture of the finished dresser but you can see part of it in that first finished-product picture. Here's the finished nightstand:I love that he has a drawer for each thing...school textbooks, spiritual (scriptures and seminary) stuff, electronics, etc.

Let's talk about where we got some of this stuff because I know people will ask and this will save some time answering.

That first huge mural of a wave up there in those top pictures was from IKEA...but it wasn't quite what we were going for, so we returned it. (We envisioned a humongous picture of Max instead ;)

We got that comforter cover at West Elm. I really love that store. We got his bed frame and headboard from there as well.
And the lamp is from Target.

The pillows, box shelf things on the wall on the left and plants are from IKEA.
This string-hanging-thing we hung all his fav. flags on is from IKEA too:
(More college brainwashing going on :)

This is is view from on his bed:
Those are all his trophies lined up there...the girls and I put them up there as a joke cause we didn't know if we should keep them or throw them away but he likes them there so there they sit, gathering dust.

That green rug is from IKEA too...just something to add a little extra texture. (lots of these ideas came from my good friend Denise...love her)

And last but not least, here's his bathroom with a picture of the place our ancestors came from that my mom and I bought in Denmark to give it a little extra color. (And hey, gotta love the sentimental stuff.)
Oh, and the paint color is "Foggy Day" from Dunn Edwards...made a little darker in the bathroom than in the bedroom.

So there we go...finished Max/guest room.
I'm sure the guests love that humongous picture of that handsome boy too :)

happy birthday Claire

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 05:53:00 +0000

Today my little girl turned eight.Which means she gets to get baptized in a couple weeks and also gets to have the "big talk" asap. (Click here for more about that...I'm actually really excited about it.)

It was a big day I will have to spill out all the details of another time when I'm not so darn tired.

But I couldn't go to sleep without writing what I adore about her.
Because my heart is so full that I get to be her mother.1) I love the spontaneous notes she writes to me...her heart is written right into them in her perfect second-grade writing that slants down the page. She leaves them on my pillow and turns my heart to mush.

2) I love her "big sister" voice that comes out when she is trying to cajole Lucy into doing what she's supposed to. She is extremely persuasive and nurturing. She is the best one in our family at tucking Lucy in bed without any tears.

3) She is a good little athlete and works hard at what she does. She wants do do every sport under the sun. It's too bad her mom can't give into her every whim because she'd probably excel at a lot.

4) She gets straight A's

5) She likes to make sure everyone is included.

6) I love when we are eye-to-eye talking about something...I adore those crystal-clear hazel eyes.

7) She is a leader. She does her own thing and doesn't give in to peer pressure (yeah, I know she's only 8 but it's a good start :)

8) When I pulled her aside for a minute to talk to her about her upcoming baptism tonight I could feel her strong desire to do what's right and her love for her Heavenly Father. I love that.

She makes our whole family so happy.
How grateful we are for this girl.

Friday Q & A

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 17:36:00 +0000

I have a question that I have been wondering about for some time. What happens when you and your parents differ in a parenting techniques or philosophy/policy to do with family? I know your parents have spent a lot of time developing and teaching parenting practices. I also totally get that you love and respect them. But you and your siblings are also grown-ups raising your own families. Seems like your parents take a very active role in teaching their grand kids; do they differ to your wishes? Are you ever able to voice a concern or differing opinion about something really important. (not what's for dinner, etc.)

That is a really good question and I think it came because of the things my parents do with our kids at Bear Lake that I talked about back here and here and here. I touched on a similar question about my parents back here (it was the second question in the post). But this one is a little different so I have to say that my parents, although they sure like to utilize times we're together like Bear Lake to grandparent, never, ever get into our parenting business.

Maybe I'd have a different response if our parenting techniques or philosophy were really different, but Dave and I basically think both sets of our parents did a great job in the parenting department so we want to duplicate that any way we can. Thus, we don't really have any conflicts of opinion. Dave's parents parented very similar to mine, so we just merge the two and are glad for any extra support we can get from loving grandparents.

Sometimes I'm so surprised at how hands-off they are. I mean, if I had the wisdom they do I'm sure I'd jump right in if my grandchild started throwing a fit or if they acted spoiled or if my son or daughter wasn't doing some parenting thing I was sure would make a difference. But they never jump in with any parenting advice unless we ask...sometimes I beg!

Sure, they push (sometimes a little too much) to have us gather together as much as possible (but I'm sure Dave and I will do that too when we're in their shoes). And they are probably the most interactive grandparents I have ever met in how actively they are involved with the grand-kids even though they live so far away from most of them. But they only reiterate the things Dave and I teach and we're SO grateful for that because sometimes they listen better so someone who doesn't actually live with them :)

Again, I may have a completely different opinion about this if my parents and I had different religious views or parenting tactics. But the fact that we share such strong convictions about both of those things makes Dave and me thank our lucky stars that we have them around to cement in the things we strive to teach them every day.

This post made me feel a lot better {click here}... because you mentioned that you openly apologize to your kids for not being a perfect parent. I do this too, and sometimes I worry if its okay. Is it okay? I mean, I just ask because my mom never did it, and it is hard for me to do... but i feel like it's good to do because I want my children to know that I am willing to admit my inadequacies. what are your thoughts on the matter??? Should parents never admit their bloopers to their kids?

Other parents may differ in their answers to this, but my personal opinion is ABSOLUTELY! I sure don't want my kids thinking I'm perfect because then how will they feel when they are parents and don't automatically do everything perfectly?? No one is perfect. We all make mistakes and what a better way to model how you overcome/fess up/make-right mistakes than owning up to them as a parent and showing your children how to overcome wrong choices or poor judgement.

Last summer we had a classic example of this: We had made a rule promising a cell phone to our kids in jr. high if they get straight A's. But when we made that rule we didn't know enough about what we were talking about to know what other issues would come into play (long story for another day). So we sat Max and Elle down and told them we had made a mistake. We explained that since they are our first two kids they "get" to be the ones to help us sort out the best ways to be their parents. We told them we were sorry and re-vamped the cell phone rules.

But there are much smaller things on a day-to-day basis...I get mad because I'm extra tired, or I deal with something the kids are begging to do in the wrong way. I make all sorts of mistakes. So later when the fuss has died down I try to remember to tell them I'm sorry and explain how I'm trying to mend my ways. I think it teaches kids empathy. And I don't know that you can have too much empathy :)

The canvas you have of the Salt Lake Temple is so gorgeous. {see this post} Is this a picture you took, and if so, are you sharing it? :) I recently bought a canvas groupon and have been struggling with what picture to use.

I do offer my temple prints as canvases for those who order them but I order from my canvas place and have them sent directly to clients. I do not give out the digital files.

This post made me laugh out loud! {click here for post} At what age do you allow your kids to begin using Facebook?

Let's see, we let Max start using Facebook when he was thirteen, and although sometimes I have regretted it, he's done a pretty good job not being addicted. So far Elle has no interest so we'll have to think about it when she starts to care.

I just got called to Stake Girls Camp Director and I have never been to girls camp...EVER!!! I would love some info: shirt logos, camp names, camp song, etc... It looks like you had a perfect week at girls camp!!! {our Girls' Camp sum-up is here}

(Just go ahead and skip this question if you're not going to Girls' Camp:) I have been getting a whole slew of similar questions lately since Christmas is over and suddenly camp prep time is here! Our Stake and Ward Camp Directors were amazing (as you can tell if you watch the slideshow on that post) and they are the ones who did the majority of the planning, came up with the theme, the t-shirts, all the singing stuff, etc. The lady over music was outstanding (the song they came up with is at the end of the slide show). They had some really good meetings with all of us YW presidents to help orient us before we left (I had never been to camp either).

I can't tell you the details of all that they did because I wasn't involved in that planning (although there are some good ideas to copy in that slideshow!) But I can tell you the things we did as a presidency that we learned along the way:

1) Girls like to feel united. So one of the things we had done in advance was to have ward t-shirts printed up for our New Beginnings way before camp. All the girls already in YW at the time had them on as we began, and when we announced the new girls coming in that year we gave them each a t-shirt to wear to become part of the "group." Then we used those t-shirts as one of our shirts we wore one day at camp:(I know some budgets won't allow this...we happened to have enough in the ward budget to provide these since we had recently had a big fund raiser.)

Our Stake provided this other t-shirt with our theme:
2) the girls loved getting to know each other better by doing "Secret Sisters." They were each assigned a "sister" to give things to (service or really small gifts) all week and then they told each other who was who at the end of our time up there.

3) the people in charge of crafts were amazing and I loved these lanterns they helped the girls make:(Goes so well with the theme this year too.) They just had the girls put dot stickers on mason jars, then sprayed them with a clear frost paint, then removed the stickers, attached wires for a handle and cute ribbon and slipped in a battery-operated candle. Voila: cute lantern.

4) Right when we arrived at camp we designated a "hang out spot" for our ward and we loved having that place to gather and bond. One of our leaders had an embroidering idea that we all worked away on in any spare moments while we chatted away.The bus was a good place to do this too.
(I wish I had a picture of the finished product...)

5) I think often-times we underestimate what amazing leaders the girls are. We had some outstanding YCLs (Youth Camp Leaders) who blew me away with their devotionals and the spirit they brought to our group. What an amazing thing for the girls to have peers who were so spiritually prepared with wonderful messages.

6) How can you go wrong helping girls to feel the love of God when you get to be in a place like this??
7) No matter what happens at camp, the most important thing as far as I'm concerned is the testimony meeting that wraps it up at the end. I believe that when youth have an opportunity to share what they believe in a meaningful way, they really figure out what it is that they have convictions about. The most important thing we can teach the youth is how to feel the Spirit from Heaven to direct them and guide them to make good choices in life (because as we know, there will be many tough ones to make!). And I don't know that there's a better way to feel and recognize that Spirit than in a setting like this and boy howdy is that Spirit ever present when the youth are sharing their feelings about what rings true to them.

Good luck with camp this year! It is an amazing experience!

I have a question for you from a few weeks ago. What software did your daughter use for her slideshow? {they're talking about the camp slideshow Elle made linked again here} It was super cute. I have some young women who have an assignment to make a slideshow and would love to help them out. Thanks!

Elle just used iMovie from our Mac. She's getting pretty good at that!

Christmas card wrap-up

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 17:42:00 +0000

Each year at Christmas time I get giddy when the mailman comes.

I love keeping in touch with friends from all over. And Christmas = Christmas cards in the mailbox. Dave and I lived in so many different areas before we plopped ourselves here in this corner of the desert ten years ago, and I love that even though we don't live by most of the friends we've made over the years anymore, we get to watch their children grow each year.

Each year we stick the cards all over the kitchen so we can think of those friends all season long.

And each year Dave conducts a mock "Christmas card contest" with the kids to determine which one they like best. But we all like all of them best so that makes it tricky:)

But I think Dave ruled that this one was "most creative" this year:...And I think he's right.

I like to keep track of good card ideas for next year too, so here are some other favorites mostly picked out by the kids:

I love the composition of this one:

...and this one:
Those guys above babysit the kids when Dave and I leave town so they were extra attached to that one.

You gotta love a little black and white:

...and beauty professional:

I love the lighting on this one:

My very favorite card was from our friends we lived next to in Washington D.C. She taught me drawing classes when Max and Elle were babies. She is amazingly talented. And her card is always a work of art:
I'd love to hang that one lifesize on my wall I think it is so peaceful and beautiful and serene. (Click here for more info. on her...she's on Mormon.org too.)

Each year, after the rest of the Christmas things are tucked safely away until next year, we let the cards linger for a couple days.

Then we reluctantly peel them off and our kitchen goes from this:

To this:
And we feel like we just moved in....

...for weeks later.

But we cut them down and put them in photo albums to pull out and look at during the Christmas season each year.

We miss all those familiar faces keeping us company in the kitchen, but our gratitude is renewed for the influences that each of them have had in our lives over the years.

San Francisco (part 3 -- how to get your kids to want to go to Stanford and more GGB)

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 17:32:00 +0000

How to help your children dream of attending Stanford some day:

1) Talk about it a lot. Like, all the time. Never let it worry you if they start rolling their eyes. They'll come around. I'm just sure of it.

2) Tell them how awesome their cousin is who graduated from there.

3) Work in a visit to see the campus during your trip to San Francisco.

4) When your son begs to buy a Stanford hat, hem and haw a little over it. Make him want it worse by questioning it. "Hmmm, it's kinda expensive...did you bring enough money?...etc."

5) Walk through campus. Make the kids sit through half of a really cool ceremony that happens to be going in in the cathedral.

6) Let them pose for as many pictures as they want on the campus. (Later enlarge them to life-size and hang them on their ceiling so they can drift off to dreamland thinking about that school every night).
7) Make sure you plan your trip when the leaves are the most beautiful to create a great backdrop.

8) Let them take as many pictures as they want becoming "one" with those things.
(Have I mentioned we like leaves?:)

(a little late on the "throw," Claire)

9) As you walk the campus, have your awesome sister fill their minds with all kinds of wonderful facts about how important college is. They'll really listen to her...no eye-rolling.
10) Have them take a picture of their awesome college-graduate mentors:
11) Let them ooooo and ahhh over the cool sculptures there...and take pictures posing with them if they ask.
12) Tell them how fun college life is. Relive a couple good college stories and have your sister do the same.

13) Sit in front of the library and talk about how awesome libraries are. (Yeah, that'll get 'em:)

14) Cross your fingers that maybe they'll get rid of that pesky test they base college admissions so darn heavily on.

15) Tell them they can have ice cream every night if they are getting straight "A's." (ha ha)

I'm all about brainwashing my kids to go to a good college, and hey, Stanford wouldn't be half bad.:)
Our last evening in San Francisco was filled with vistas of the Golden Gate Bridge. I'll let the pictures tell the story.
I love Max's face when he's teasing his sisters.

Just as the sun dipped below the horizon we scrambled up a deserted army barracks hill to watch the city settle itself into evening.The sunset on a grand adventure.

We got up before the crack of dawn the next morning to fly back to the desert.And came back to open arms from sweet Lu who we all missed so much.

In fact, one of my favorite memories of the trip was listening to the kids talk to Lucy on the phone while we were crammed in the car on our way somewhere. The delight in their voices to talk to that little sister of theirs was tangible....And of course we were so excited to get back to Dave who made it all possible. How grateful I am to him for sticking around with Lu and letting us go.

Oh but how we miss our dear Charity! Thank goodness she has a blog so we can keep track of all her amazing adventures! Click here to enjoy it along with us.

San Francisco (part 2--bike day)

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 14:38:00 +0000

Part one is back here.

Because yes, we went clear back the day after Thanksgiving and I haven't made time to finish writing up my wrap-up yet.

When I look at these pictures I get a little lump in my throat thanking my lucky stars that we got to do this.

It is at trip none of us will ever forget. (I know that sounds dramatic but it's true...even if our memories start to let it slip, the hundreds of pictures I took won't let us ever, ever forget :)

Part one {back here} was just day one.

Here's the next part of the story...

DAY 2:

Day two was bike day. We rented some wing-dinger bikes and took off to explore the city. We were pleased as punch about this because our feet were ready to take a break after walking all over creation the day before.

Our first stop was the Golden Gate Bridge (or the "GGB" as Charity likes to call it).

Now, I must preface this part by saying the GGB is one of my favorite structures ever. I don't know what it is about it...the color, the ingenuity of how it was built, how it stands out against the beauty surrounding it...probably a mixture of all of the above.

I love that thing.

So needless to say I was pretty excited that we got to ride bikes across it.
We rode along in single file as cars whizzed by (with a good, strong barrier between us) and the wind whipped through our hair. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face.

We stopped for a little break at both of the towers.
Claire was a little trooper with her scarf flying out behind her in front of me standing up to pedal hard every so often. My heart swelled up into my throat as I watched her and took it all in.

Gotta love that color.
Elle did her report before we left on the GGB.

Little known fact that she shared: The navy had initially wanted to paint the bridge black with yellow stripes.

Yeah, I'm glad someone vetoed that.

Here we are on the other side:

From there we crossed under the bridge...: (it looks cool under there, right?)

...and headed over to Sausalito. That was where the bike ride got a little hairy...no bike lane and my seven-year-old in front of me with traffic...but she was a little dreamboat on that bike.

I had to remind myself she can ride circles around me. I'm the one who crashed into a stop sign a couple years ago with Lucy on the back.

Ouch.

Sausalito was gorgeous.

We ate delicious hamburgers and grabbed some hot cocoa to help us brave the biting wind on the ferry we loaded our bikes on and took back across the bay:
It was a beautiful, fun, cold ride.

Grace was excited to pass Alcatraz (she did her report on that thing):

The skyline looked cool in all the haze as we neared the ferry building on the other side.

We parked our bikes at the Ferry Building...

...and explored all the colors and sounds and tastes and smells it had to offer.
We loved this street performer:
Talk about talent with garbage cans.

After the Ferry Building we biked over to Pier 39 to see the sea lions.
Unfortunately this was our view:
I guess they were shy that day.

And with that, we were off to Fisherman's Wharf where we went to the sourdough bread factory and snacked on some baguettes:
And what would be a trip to San Fran without a quick stop at Ghirardelli Square?

We savored the taste of our free chocolate as we rode our bikes back to the bike place to greet the sunset.
After all the wonderful things we got to do that day, I think those ten to fifteen minutes were my very favorite part.

We were all so happy and tired and fulfilled after an exhilarating day.

We snuggled back into the car and drove past this on the way to dinner:

And filled up on some Mexican food and delicious fruit drinks at this place in "The Mission."
Mmmmm, that guacamole is making my mouth water :)

Ok, the last day is going to have to wait because I think I have carpel tunnel in my fingers from moving all these pictures around.

And because all these pictures are making me want to go back.

And making me miss my dear sis.

Love you Char!

volleyball and tennis

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 18:29:00 +0000

Now that Max is about ready to try out for the high school volleyball team, I better wrap up his season of club volleyball that ended before Christmas.

He sure learned a lot.

I had to be out of town for the first few tournaments so when I finally got to go watch I was amazed at the improvement.

Their team wasn't the best in the league, but they sure learned a bunch.

I loved having a day to just sit and watch in the midst of the hustle-bustle of the Christmas season.

Obviously so did my girls:

...especially when they got to perch themselves on the top of the bleachers with McDonalds no less.
...and Lucy didn't so much watch the games as she did color her little heart out:
I loved to watch Max's positive support from the sidelines:

And his hops on his blocks:

Wow he's getting so good at those.

Elle had a tennis tournament the same day so we snuck out early to go catch the second half of hers and left these boys to finish off the tournament.

They were a little discouraged and I figured the ending wouldn't be what they hoped, but then my friend sent me these:
That's the only trouble having so many kids...you just can't be there for everything.

Thank goodness for technology so we can see things we can't be there for.I'm so proud of this boy.

On to tennis...
Elle played up a level and won the whole thing.

Maybe it was because of her cheering section?
They sure had fun on the sidelines.

I made them pose with their "medals" that night.
They love me when I make them do things like that:) But hey, that was a big day to be captured.

How I love these two teenagers.

Friday Q & A -- money and mothering

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 00:36:00 +0000

What types of chores do you have your kids do for extra money? {I think this question was inspired by this post.}

Right now these are some of the things on our "money job" list:
scrub kitchen baseboards, clean out fridge, dust all glass jars above kitchen cabinet, dust pot rack, sweep off front porch, clean out BBQ grill, clean out and organize pantry, enter pictures into blog posts for your mother :)

Our regular Saturday job list is in this post back here.

Is max's card debit? {this question was from this post}
Yes it absolutely is. Man alive I LOVE that this kid has a real bank account. He works at Dave's office after school each day and is our pool boy (see this post) so he's earning a little cash on the side. Each time he makes a deposit, he immediately moves 20% of that into his savings account and takes 10% out to put in an envelope for tithing. I adore that he's learning that habit early. (More about the 10-20-70 principle back here.)

What do you think are the most important attributes of being a mother and why?

Wowzers, I could go on and on all night about that one. But if I had to narrow it down to two words I'd say: "love more." No matter what. In the tantrums, in the eye-rolls, in the chaos, if I just stop myself from turning into a ranting lunatic and count to ten I try to remind myself how much God loves those darling children he's entrusted me with and try to have that same love, I've found I'm more patient, kind, concerned, and happy as a mother.

I'm so glad to have that saying above my front door as a reminder. (Because believe me, I haven't' been so hot at that lately.)

Another important attribute is to take yourself and all that goes on around you lightly. Take it all in with a sense of humor. Have FUN.

And DON'T compare yourself to others and try to change yourself into them because they do such-and-such better than you. Be your own best kind of mom. Because that's the mom your children need. YOU. The best YOU you can be.

Post edit note: Oh my gosh, I forgot to add this yesterday because I was rushing at 5:00 to get this post in, but speaking of Motherhood, one of the best ways I know to figure out how to be your own best kind of mom is in a Power of Moms motherhood retreat. Click here to see the ones that are coming up. My heart is breaking because I'm supposed to go to the Australia one. It would be a dream come true. But we have too many complications with the dates. Oh how I would LOVE to be there. It is sure to be an amazing experience for all involved.

bringing in 2012

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 15:55:00 +0000

We brought in the new year at Dave's brother's house, followed by what has become a traditional dance party. Man, his family has the moves. Have I mentioned that before?

(I'm pleased as punch to be behind the camera for that action.)

But first, we headed to dinner with all the in-town adults:We so missed those who weren't here.

And then we went to a nearby church to play Frisbee dodge-ball (at least I think that's what it's called...).

This is the second time we've done this (once two years ago) and it doesn't seem to disappoint.

To start with, all the frisbees lined up in the middle and the teams are divided one on each side of the gym:
When the in-charge-person says "go!", each team runs to the middle and tries to grab as many frisbees as they can.

Then they try to pelt each other with them.
I know, fun right??

If you get pelted with a frisbee, you have to be out on the sidelines:
But if someone on your team catches a frisbee, a team member on the sidelines gets to come back in.

Yeah, I was pretty content on the sidelines with these folks:

Dave, not so much....

I love how competitive Dave's family is.

...but they are nice too...I mean, let's take a closer look at that above picture here:
Look at those smiles and Dave putting his arm around his brother.

Heart melter.

But then again, they were on the same team...

After that they started a crab-kick-ball game for the kids, but I don't know how long that lasted cause I ran to put Lu down for bed where we were having the real party (she was howling in exhaustion by then).

At the party the kids played some intense game where you have to chew a bunch of skittles at the same time:
Then we played charades.

...and a myriad of other games.
A favorite is called "three-deep."

Everyone gets a slip of paper that has two "counterparts" you have to find. For instance, if you have the word "red" on your paper, you are most likely looking to match up with people who also have colors. If you get a paper that says "Snow White," you are probably looking for other people with Disney Princesses.

Before you start looking for your partners, you "mingle" with everyone to switch the papers all up. Then someone yells "go!" and you take your little paper and yell out what you have until you find three things that go together. And believe me, it is LOUD with all those people yelling their heads off trying to find their partners.

Once you find each other you sit down "three-deep" according to the letter on your paper ("B," "M," or "T" which stand for "bottom," "middle," or "top.")
The last ones to find their partners are out.
Here's a video to illustrate...all those people on the couch were already out by this time.

Then everyone broke out in dance.

...and then we watched the ball drop.

...and hugged and kissed.

...and then the teenagers were in the groove and couldn't stop dancing.Grace was pretty excited about the new year.

I see a lot of problems with the fact that ringing in the new year meant we move to 8:00 church. (Yes, that is 8:00 in the morning.) There's getting everyone bathed and spiffed up on Saturday night. There's an earlier curfew for the teenagers so they can get their beauty rest. And Dave and I having to cut our own Saturday date-night short. There's doing all the heads of girl-hair we have in our household.

But to top that off was the fact that New Years Day was on a Sunday. Which meant after going to bed at 2:00 in the morning we had to drag everyone out of bed just a few hours later.

And the only thing worse than that, was that that night happened to be the only night we got to have the Utah cousins sleep over at our house. Talk getting the short end of the stick on that one. We were all walking, grumpy zombies the next day.

Instead of hanging out and really catching up we had this:...and this:
(Yeah, that's the kitchen floor he's zonked on.)

But hey, we'd still do it all over again in a second :)

Happy New Year. May it be a great one.

post Christmas stuff

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 17:55:00 +0000

Ok, so now I need to sum up the last part of Christmas break.

Because it is now the middle of January.

And because it was awesome. Before Christmas=kinda crazy. After Christmas=no schedule.

Oh how I love having no schedules and staying up late and not having to get up when it's still pitch-dark outside.

(Although I must admit that our new schedule is invigorating...but only after going through sugar detox and feeling like we got hit by a mac truck when we woke up for scriptures the first couple days.)

We thoroughly enjoyed the lazy days after Christmas.

First of all we skied. I wrote all about that back here.

Then we came home to a couple cousins in town from Utah so we soaked them up along with all the other cousins who live here as much as humanly possible.

Gotta love these poses.
Dave's sister started a new tradition of taking the girls out to lunch.
They adored feeling so special and had such a fun time.

We (along with the whole neighborhood over and over and over again) made non-stop "snowies" with the kids' favorite Christmas gift:
We enjoyed "Fall" like nobody's business. (Fall comes in December here)

Unlike Fall that comes late, Winter never shows up here in the desert...unless you have an awesome brother who brings over "fake snow" for the kids to fill their little hearts with wonder:

Yeah, that pretty much was a hit.

We went on our annual Nana & Papa hosted ice skating outing that I can't get the pictures to download from...I''ll have to add those later.

Lucy's Christmas unicorn bit the dust after being colored by all the cousins for an extended period of time.
It sure served it's purpose well :)

wow

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 16:05:00 +0000

Wow, all I can say is that was a lot of hair help!

All this funny business about hair started when Dave claimed one morning when we were getting ready that he thought he'd go ahead and grow his hair out again. He was sick of the same old shorter hairdo.

I rolled my eyes with a smile and told him I like it shorter.

So we joked back and forth about it for a few days and then somehow we found ourselves in the new "Mission Impossible" movie at the tail end of Christmas break.

Tom Cruise has his hair on the longer side in that movie and I kept thinking "hmmm, definitely not my favorite hairdo." And the funny thing is that when we emerged from the movie, Dave told me that was the hair look he was going for.

"Yeah, let's keep it short," I said.

So that's when we decided maybe we should get a third-party opinion. And that's how we landed with all those comments reconfirming my opinion :).

Now, there were (mixed in among the masses of "short hair" opinions) some nice ones about the long, and I told Dave he should just do it anyway if that's what he really wants. The bottom line is that he looks handsome no matter what, right?

But I think it's safe to say he's heading to the barber today. He's a good sport.

Dave's hair poll

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 16:14:00 +0000

Dave is a hair-changer. He gets sick of the same hairdo all the time and likes to switch it up.

He goes from the classic:(yeah, I'll be in trouble for posting that one :)

To the long locks:
To the middle-ground:
To the shaved head:
Which gradually fades into the "tennis ball" do:
Oh and we can't leave out the middle-part "wings" he had when we got married:
Right now he's ready for a change.

And I keep joking with him that he shouldn't do it.

Of course, I think he's handsome no matter what, and hey, when you still have that much hair you should switch it up whenever you can.

But we thought it'd be fun to see what others think...to see if they agree with me or him on his next step.

Should he go long?

or shorter:
or super short:
Hmmmmmm.

What do you think?

p.s. I think this is a funny post, but hey, gotta mix it up with a little fluff right? You never know, maybe I'll do a poll on whether I should get bangs next...

my 2012 "word"

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 15:21:00 +0000

Usually my "word" for the year comes to me slowly.

Gradually.

(I take this "one word" business pretty seriously.)

But this year my word arrived quite unexpectedly before I had even started to mull over what I was aiming for.

It happened to be at a time when I was feeling overwhelmed almost to the point that I wondered if I was depressed. I was starting to wonder if "this feeling" was normal...to wake up with anxiety each morning and to feel snappy and impatient with my children and husband. I was worried because generally I am one to see life with rose-colored glasses. The glass is always half-full as far as I'm concerned and I'm quick to find the good in things. But for a while I had been feeling like I was in a dark tunnel with no light beckoning me from the other end. There was just too much on my plate and I didn't know how to remedy it all.

I was in my closet getting ready for the day. As usual, my mind was going a million miles a minute. What did I need to accomplish that day, which girls I could reach out to in Young Women, when would I ever get around to changing that burned-out lightbulb, what would I make for dinner, how did my closet get so cluttered...and then my mind jumped suddenly out to our waitress from dinner the night before.

Dave and I had snuck away in the midst of the holiday hoopla for a quiet dinner on our own. We had scarcely seen or talked to each other and needed to re-group.

At some point in the middle of our meal we needed something (I can't remember what...more water? more Marsala sauce?). We both looked around for our waitress and suddenly came to the realization that neither of us had the foggiest idea what she looked like. She had checked on us three times, brought us water, had told us about the specials and had taken our order.

Yet we didn't know what she looked like. We hadn't really "seen" her...we had just looked through her and answered and ordered like robots wrapped up only in ourselves.

As I stood there in my closet and thought about that sweet waitress we had worked on "seeing" for the rest of the meal my heart sunk again (just like it had the night before). And then my mind randomly jumped again to Lucy's preschool holiday party the day before. All the parents had been there helping their children decorate their own foam gingerbread houses with stickers and watching the kids do the limbo. I thought about the parents of one of Lu's friends who had been there. They are fairly recently divorced. They are obviously struggling through the trenches of the tough stuff that most inevitably comes with divorce, as were their two little girls. In my subconscious mind I had been aware of them, but had been preoccupied with those parents I knew better, (and obviously with Lucy).

But as I stood there in my closet that next morning I was overcome with an awareness that just like that waitress the night before, I hadn't "seen" them. At this point in their journey how nice would it have been for them to have even someone they scarcely know reach out to them and just show a little extra kindness. Maybe ask them how they were doing...how their children were doing. I know how it feels when you're going through a rough time to have someone "see" you...and do something about it.

Then my mind wandered to Dave. As much as we've been living in the same house and raising the same children, and discussing the same parts of life, things had been so crazy this Christmas season up to that point that I hadn't really "seen" him. I was so wrapped up in trying to stay afloat with my own things that it hadn't dawned on me that he (along with Heavenly Father) are the ones who actually keep me afloat. When I "see" him and his needs like he always seems to "see" mine life comes into focus and there is a clarity in things around me that brings pure happiness. When I take a moment to "see" what he is involved in and put his needs and issues first all my worries and stresses somehow fade.

And my children...I had been going through the motions of "being there" for them, and I was. But instead of the fulfilling happiness I always feel when I am "in the moment" with them, my mind had been on who I needed to text about such and such an event and what in the world would we bring to our neighbors for Christmas.

So I sat there in my closet and let tears well up in my eyes. I had let the stress of life take over and had been so wrapped up in so many "good" things that I had forgotten to "see" my family. My friends. Even random strangers. And that was what was making me feel so uneasy and pressed down on.

It seems like an oxymoron to add "really 'seeing' others" to balance out an already overflowing plate. Part of me had been telling my subconscious that I could "see" others better just as soon as I finished this or that task...as soon as life slowed down a bit.

But that morning in my closet I realized once again that "seeing" others (maybe it's simple true charity I'm talking about here) if put first on the list rather than last after all the busy stuff, is the conduit to balancing an unbalanced life.

It IS life.

"Seeing" others as Christ would see them is truly the starting point.

All the mumbo-jumbo stuff can fill in after that most important part.

Sometimes it's just so darn easy to get wrapped up in what WE are involved in that we forget to see the needs of others.

I realized right then and there that no matter how overwhelmed I am in my life, I can never let striving to "see" others as Heavenly Father would, slide away. And if I do, I better start to get my balance back quick. Which means perhaps getting rid of a few things I'm holding on to and simplifying my life. (which I'm working hard on now)

Because when I make the time to truly "see" others, I can "see" myself that much more clearly.

In 1 Samuel 16:7 it says, "for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart."

How I hope that this year as I focus on the word "SEE" that I will be able to more fully see what the Lord sees in myself and others: not the outward appearance, but the heart. And that I will be able to balance my life in such a way that I can give of myself to build up and nurture what I see.

How I hope I can train myself to look beyond the minutia of life that keeps me running in circles and really "see" what is most important.

Sunday at the park with Lucy

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 00:09:00 +0000

Love this girl.

Friday Q & A

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 13:32:00 +0000

Apart from your book club, do you ever go out with girl friends on a regular basis, or have GNO, shopping with girl friends, girl time etc??

Although I do get to spend some good time with friends: occasional birthday lunches, a rare lucky girls' trip here and there, book club and certainly lots of church stuff, I feel like I'm in a season of life right now when my family needs every bit of me I can give.

And I want to give myself to them with all my heart.

I used to do a lot more with friends. When my girlfriends and I all had little kids we would meet at the park or at each other's houses to do crafts or playgroup together all day long. We would take field trips together and plan out our dreams as our children busied themselves with their imagination and our little ones clung to our legs. How I loved those long days when friends and children and family life could coexist so well.

I also used to occasionally sneak out by myself and run errands at night after my children were tucked safely in bed and Dave was around to tide me over. I needed a moment to catch my breath to keep me sane after changing explosive diapers and scrubbing ballpoint pen off the walls and vacuuming out the dryer that had been filled with laundry detergent.

Now my evenings are filled with teenagers needing help with homework who I long to be with to draw things out of as they get ready for bed late into the night. I have this ongoing project to try to figure out how they tick. No matter how much I think I am starting to get it down, they throw me a curve ball and I have to re-learn what I thought I knew. I am mesmerized trying to learn their "language." (I'm definitely not an expert at this especially lately...I've been quite distracted...but it is and always will be a hobby of mine:)

I have elementary school girls who beg with puppy-dog eyes for me to read with them. I have Lucy who is so cuddly and particular about bedtime routine: how many stories she gets, the order in which she does things, that I fall in love with her more every night and wish I could just curl up with her and listen to her breathe in my ear all night long. I have Dave who I long to just lay in bed and talk to after the kids drift off to dreamland.

And despite all the things that pull me away from this life right here and right now (and we all know there are a lot of them), I'm holding on to all that with all my might. And trying to find a balance. Because I like it here. A lot.

I know my babies will be gone before I can blink. Max's cheeks are already hollowed out and there's a hint of a mustache above his lip. His voice is as deep as velvet and I know his non-stop growing body will soon enough not be as welcoming to my hugs and requests for lunch dates. Elle's huffs and eye-rolls mix in with her sweetness and turn her into more of a teenager every day and no matter how much of me I give to Grace, she needs more. Everyone needs parts of me and I feel as if I'm being tugged in every direction.

But I love it. I want with all my heart to be there for everything.

Along with that I have Young Women responsibilities that are never done and I'm out of town a lot...and I like to keep up this blog :)

So, long story short, as much as I love being with friends, I'm ok with hunkering down with my family for as much time as I can squeeze out right now. I know that "life is long" and that I'll be able to be involved with friends more when I'm not so in the thick of things here. And I know we'll pick up right where we left off.

I'm SO grateful for the influence that those friends have been and still are in my life. They have helped me become who I am and are still influencing so many of my choices and decisions for good. And even if it's just book club or passing in the halls in church or a long phone call while I mop the floor, they are kindred spirits and I adore them.

Social outlets are so important, (especially for young mothers as far as I'm concerned), and I think every mother should find them conducive to each season of her mothering. My season just happens to be a "late fall" as far as hanging with friends goes for now and "full-summer" for my family.

If anyone is looking for a good social outlet that is productive and inspiring, start a book club or a "learning circle." Those things make a world of difference.

I love the pictures of your family formal and casual. What are your suggestions for having good family pictures taken? When you take pictures of families do you prefer specific colors, stripes, patterns, or solids? Trees or open sky? Any suggestions that you have that might help us not behind the camera?

I know I'm late on this one...Christmas pictures are taken and folded into cards by now. But there's always time for another family picture, right? I like all of the above depending on what mood you are going for. I think things like trees, open sky, a front door or a desert can all create an interesting backdrop. I think multiple people in the portrait can wear patterns as long as they are subtle. If the pattern you are wanting to incorporate is more bold, it's better for just one or two people to be wearing it, and have everyone else coordinate with them.

My best advice would be to search the internet for good ideas. There's never a shortage there.

What a wonderful trip and beautiful pictures! {from this post} Your girls looked so bright and colorful in their jackets and scarves. I have to ask, was that just a coincidence or do you plan their clothes so they'll look good in pictures? I wish I could get my family to wear bright colors!

I am nerdy but have realized that I subconsciously often do think about what clothes will look good in pictures when I'm on a trip. I don't spend a lot of time thinking about it, but it's just sort of a habit.

Do you cut your kids hair or do they go to the salon/barber?

I usually cut their hair. Max and Dave have just recently started to go to the barber together, but I still do theirs occasionally. I've taken Elle to the salon (a friend who cuts hair out of her garage) a couple times and Grace once (which was a horrifying experience to relate on another day), but their hair is so easy to cut (nothing really fancy) so I just do it myself.

As a mother of a now teenager who feels the need to double-check every picture that ends up in the family photo album (and then makes me hide all the ones where she thinks she doesn't look her absolute best), I was wondering if your children have an opinion on what makes it to the blog or not.

Most of the time I do ask if I can post pictures...especially ones I think may be even a tiny bit embarrassing. And sometimes my older kids will ask before I take a picture, "can you please not put this on the blog?" But more often it's, "can you put this on the blog?" from the little girls. I know Lu will have my hide some day for posting some things (particularly this and this) but hey, I can hardly help it she's so darn cute :)

I was reading back to when Lucy was 2 because I am having SUCH a hard time with my 2-year-old right now. She is so independent and gets frustrated so easily. Do you have any advice on how to deal with that without giving in every time? Our first daughter seemed to skip the terrible 2 phase so we are at a loss.

The best advice I can give is the advice my mother gave me when I was in the midst of the terrible twos (and threes...and fours): kids that age simply have not developed the will power to stop themselves from mischief. They don't know how to reason and comply to our wishes/commands. They just don't have those skills yet. It sure helped me have more patience with my particularly trying toddlers.

I have found that the best two things that worked for me were 1) taking my emotion out of how I dealt with the frustration. It is TOUGH, but really, what two-year-old is really going to learn from having a frustrated, ranting mother? I think natural consequences, time out, and the 1-2-3 Magic method work miracles. (If you haven't read that "1-2-3 Magic" book click here for more information that will change your life forever. That thing got me through my mothering of toddlers like magic :) I still do the 1-2-3- thing with my big kids and it works like a charm).

And 2) be consistent and do not threaten anything that you are not really willing to follow through with. If you say you won't go to the park if they keep whining and they whine, don't go to the park. That's so much easier said than done. But try to take the emotion out of how it's ruining your plans while you place them gently in time out. Yes, sometimes you'll need to hold the door closed while they kick and scream, but after two or three times of you holding your own they'll get it: their mama means business!

Wow, I'm more passionate about that than I thought :)

I need more advice for young kids as I am only starting out as a mom and only have one! more advice on how to set up family traditions and rules for your little ones please!!!

My best simple advice would be to keep it simple. But click here for many more details on that question.

Happy weekend!

off to the mountains

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 13:46:00 +0000

The day after Christmas we packed up our gear and headed up to the mountains.
Us along with a bunch of cousins.

It seemed like a great idea since there is more snow here in the desert mountains right now than there is in Utah ski country.

Crazy, right?

What we should have known is that everyone and their dog had the same idea.

Seriously, check out that crowd:

Luckily once we got going it wasn't so bad.
Just us and some serious gorgeous-ness.
I kept having to remind myself we were only a few hours from home where it was close to 80 degrees.
I love that Dave's family is chock-full of serious skiers:Their skiing form is beautiful to behold.

And I love that all the cousins are catching that fire of skiing.

It's sure good to have a little peer pressure.

Grace had Claire going on all the jumps.
(very slowly :)

Serious beauty.

I had to stop every five minutes or so to soak it all in.

Lucy stayed in the valley with her not-interested-in-skiing cousin who helped out with her so much last summer (more about her in this post).

We missed her but she sure had a fun time and we can't complain about staying up at night with the cousins at Dave's sister's cabin we all gladly packed into.
Snow sure is a novelty when you live in the desert.

Christmas Joy School

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 15:23:00 +0000

Today is our last day of Christmas break.

And here's my question about that sad little fact: Why in the world start on a Thursday of all days? It just makes more sense to me to just wait 'til next Monday.

But I guess we'll take advantage of what we get and I'll leave here with more Christmas reminiscing:

These two girls got serious this year about earning money to buy each other Christmas gifts.
They put their heads together and thought and thought. They asked for a list of jobs.

And then they worked. A lot.

Our house sparkled.

But they still didn't have enough money to buy what they had in mind.

All this coincided with my lamentation over the last month about how much I miss teaching Joy School right now. Joy School at Christmas time is my favorite. The songs, the activities, the messages you get to teach, the program for the retirement home that you create...I love Joy School. And Lucy has never really done the real deal because she has her own special preschool.

So although it didn't cure my overall desire to be teaching, I suggested the next-best thing: have Grace and Claire do the teaching.

They jumped at the chance.

They invited a few girls over for two days in a row and went to town creating the lessons and activities.

This was a game where each girl got a turn to be "Santa" and handed out toys while the other girls "slept."

And I think this next one is when they ALL wanted to be Mary from the nativity and ride on a donkey so Grace and Claire let them all do it.
The ottoman made a great donkey.

Of course, my heart melted as they taught.
And even more when we headed to Target with their hard-earned money clutched tight in their little fists and I got to watch them pick out great sibling gifts. (more about those back here)

Just to echo the last line of one of my fav. Joy School songs: "the very best part of Christmas time is the presents you give away."

Yeah, I think that's right. Because as we know, when we serve and give to others, we're serving God.

How I hope these kids will really let that seed plant in their hearts and bring them the joy of giving all life long.

Christmas 2011

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 20:41:00 +0000

Before Santa leaves, he drops off the stockings at the foot of each of the kid's beds.

That way they can open them and kill a little time before they wake up their mom and dad by singing Christmas carols on the stairs at 7:00.

They get to go into the family room in order of youngest to oldest and the level of excitement is electric.

The biggest hit for Lu this year was this cardboard unicorn for her to color because hey, unicorns and coloring happen to be her two favorite things.
It was a longboard year for the big kids.

And Claire was pleased as punch with her American Girl doll.
We're always thankful when we get to have Josh around. He gave the kids some cool things from his trip to Africa.
We had such a relaxing, beautiful morning. It felt so great to just lounge around, listen to Christmas music, eat cinnamon rolls enjoy each other before we headed to church.

Goodbye Christmas 'til next year...when I'll be much better prepared for you if it kills me! :)

Christmas Eve

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 13:27:00 +0000

We usually spend a chunk of time at Dave's parents' house on Christmas Eve.

We love getting a chance to spend with the cousins in the midst of all the hoopla and excitement.

This year we did our traditional cousin white-elephant gift exchange on Christmas Eve.
The kids love that part and I must say all the switching around of gifts and glee when they get what they want is pretty entertaining for the adults as well.

We have a gift-giving-rotation going on with those guys and Dave's sister spoiled us this year with baking stuff and gift cards. She is so very kind.

Then we go home and have our own family festivities.
Lucy was baby Jesus this year.

She took it very seriously.
So did Claire.

Dave was a pretty good shepherd......and Josh was a great asset as the donkey.

Then the sibling gift-giving began.

Oh I love this part.

Let's just observe the progression of Claire giving Lu her gift:
I just love how proud/happy Claire's face is.
That Ariel doll has pretty much not left Lu's side since Christmas. ...and Claire gets that same look on her face (above) each time she sees her with it.
This next one is a pretty good gift-progression series as well (let's just ignore the fact I was trying to figure out whether to do flash or high ISO with my camera this whole night...):
First it was a cute sweater.
Then she opened the "piece de resistance:"
Some "fake glasses" she had been dying for.
Yeah, she was pretty excited.

Grace always gives opening gifts a little bit of flair:

Wait, is it some chips??

No way, it's a really snuggly blanket.
Grace gives her thanks with some extra flair as well:

Max gave Elle some funny feather earrings and a gift card for Forever 21.
He was pretty happy about that too.

Lu gave Max a shirt.Yeah, not quite as dramatic since she didn't really know what it was she was giving him when he opened it up (a little help from Dad on that one). Next year she'll be better at that I'm sure.

But he sure loved what he got too.

Needless to say they were all pretty pumped up with their gifts.

And of course, their traditional Christmas PJ's too:

Dave read the traditional "T'was the Night Before Christmas:"

And then we sent them off to bed with visions of sugar-plums dancing in their heads.

We adults have our own private Christmas Eve traditions too: watching "A Christmas Story" and helping Santa put together a couple things.
Santa sure loves having Josh around to help on Christmas Eve.

pre-Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 15:44:00 +0000

First of all, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I, for one, cannot believe it's already another new year.

And I'm excited about that little fact. Because I love new beginnings. I even have my 2012 "one word" all figured out (more about that later).

And I'm happy that Christmas is over for one more year.

Oh wait, did I really just say that out loud??

We really did have a great Christmas, but wow, that holiday is crazy for a mother. The spirit seeped in through little openings here and there almost despite all the things we had going on instead of us being still enough to let it pour in and drape us in peace and love and joy as I always envision will happen each year.

We had a few things swirling on around here that made Christmas a little more hectic than usual, including the serious possibilities of two different moves (one of which would have taken us half-way around the world). I have to say, discussions of all those mile-long lists of pros and cons can add a titch of stress and can certainly throw your Christmas spirit into a loop. Much more on that later...

But quite honestly, I realized once again that life is not going to miraculously slow down at some magical point.

Life is what we make it.

And our attitude is what makes the biggest difference. As the mother, being the "eye of the storm" is the key. And I've tried to be the "eye" a whole bunch lately.

Anyway, I have a bazillion pictures of Christmas but I wanted to finish the lead-up stuff first so here you go:

From the looks of Claire, we apparently had a pretty funny Family Home Evening. Not quite sure what she and Grace were doing there, but it sure looked fun :)

Lucy "helped" address Christmas cards:

We made sugar cookies for a bunch of our neighbors:
...when we ran out, we gave out cinnamon-swirl bread. And when we ran out of that, we were too inundated with other "stuff" that we never finished our deliveries. I sure hope those people survived without that extra kick of sugar, because I know many people around here were just really wanting more sugar.

Grace and I were able to finagle a couple good reading sessions:
(of course with some good hair-dos in the process...)

Lucy had her little "Christmas pajama dance recital."

I would post a video but this picture pretty much sums up Lucy's moves the entire dance:
Yeah, pretty much the pose with the arms up in the air ruled in her mind so she decided to roll with it and just do it through the whole dance. Forget those other moves her teacher painstakingly taught her to do. Much more comfy to just throw your arms up and stand there.

Her teachers says she does more in class, and I sure hope that's true!
(Love that teacher of hers.)

We went with some friends to serve at the Food Bank.
(Above we're getting a little lesson about how the food bank works from Denny.)

We made snack packs for at-risk kids to take home with them on the weekends.

Lucy was the sticker girl and took her job very seriously.

The teenagers did a pretty good job too:

This was an attempt at a family portrait (minus Dave who had to work) when we were done at the Food Bank and rushing off to Grace & Claire's dance recital:
Yeah, we're good.

Lucy finally named one of her stuffed animals. The reason I bring this up is because we named everything growing up. Our houses had names. Our cars had names. And certainly every single doll or toy that we played make-believe with had a name. So I think it's strange that as much as I sometimes prod, my kids mostly like to just call things the name they came with.
So for some reason it makes me happy Lu decided to name her Care Bear. She named her "Love," 'because she has so many hearts on her' according to Lu.

"Love" is the very first thing Lucy is grateful for in every single prayer.

And she sleeps with her every night.

We had a family talent show with Dave's side of the family.Claire and Lu sang "Santa Claus is Coming to Town."
That's Lucy's favorite song these days and I think it's sticking for a while. She sings it all the time.

The last day of school before Christmas break was pajama day, followed by an impromptu party at our house with the second-graders.
I realized we're in for a little bit of future drama with this crew.
They sure are cute, but can sure get their feelings hurt in a jiffy. Let's hope it was just Christmas excitement to blame...

Grace worked for me a bunch trying to earn money to buy Christmas gifts. She cleaned every baseboard in our house, washed windows, taught Joy School, made dinner, uploaded a boatload of pictures for this blog (including these ones).
Wow I really like having a little helper. I could get used to having her attached to my hip asking what she can do to help.

Max is our pancake guy all at random times of the day.And man, he can put down a LOT of those things.

Elle sure stays busy with her friends.
I'm still surprised at how little drama they have.

Like zilch.

I'm so grateful for that.

We went and saw the temple lights.Inside the visitor's center the kids always like looking through the Book of Mormons in so many different languages.

My personal favorite:
They only had sections of that thing translated into Romanian when I was on my mission there so I love seeing the whole thing.

After ten years of living in the desert I still haven't gotten used to Christmas lights on palm trees.

I think the guy taking this picture may have had his finger over the flash on my little point-and-shoot, but you get the idea.
Lucy found a new "mode of transportation" for her squinkies:
She carried them around in that thing pretty much all season.

And yes, it is quite big to carry around the grocery store, but she didn't seem to mind.

She had fun introducing her princesses to the nativity people as well:They are all fond friends at this point.

old and new

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 18:08:00 +0000

We've had a whole slew of changes around here at church.

I mentioned that the boundaries of our "ward" (the people we go to church with each Sunday), got changed last month and it's been a little bit crazy keeping up with goodbyes and welcomes ...missing the girls we loved so much and meeting and falling in love with the new ones.

We had our last activity with our old group of girls at our house.
We watched a slide show Elle whipped up of the year we've been able to be together.

We presented the old bishopric with treats and posters full of our thanks.

The girls sang some masterful songs around the piano:
(We have some serious talent going on around here both with piano and singing...Elle are you following those examples? I sure hope so!)

We talked and talked and hugged and even shed a few tears.
Love these leaders SO much.

Love these girls so much.

I always say how much I love change but then I'm just not so sure.

Ahhhh, we've had some good times over the past year.
After all our good-byes one week with that group of girls, the next week we held our traditional ward Young Women Christmas progressive dinner...
...with all the new girls.

We played two truths and a lie:

...and ate lots of good food.And you know what? It's amazing how much you can love girls you just barely met.

I could feel the goodness of their hearts right from the start.

Once again, I learn so much more from these girls than I can ever teach them.