71 Toes

Happy Valentine's Day

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 16:55:00 +0000

Life is the flower for which love is the honey.
--Victor Hugo
 

Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid
and durable happiness there is in our lives.
--C.S. Lewis
  

I love Valentine's Day and the chance to reflect on all those I love
and for their examples in my life for which I am incredibly grateful for.
--Shawni

travel eye-candy and some links

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 16:54:00 +0000

A while ago Dave gave me a subscription to this magazine.

Because he's sweet like that and he knows how I love to travel. I think maybe he thought just looking at pictures would cool down my drooling to see those places in person.

But I have to admit it might have made it worse.

Now I can picture even more where I want to go. I mean, who wouldn't want to be here?

...and stay in a place like this?
In my dreams, this place is where I wanted to go for my fortieth birthday:
Who wouldn't, right?

(Instead I was snuggling five kids drinking in the goodness of being with my family which really is just as good in my book...maybe I'll aim for Greece when I turn fifty...)

And doesn't it look dreamy to bike around Italy with this cute mustached guy below?

I've always wanted to go to Bali. But "beyond Bali"?? I want to go there too:)

Yeah, some day.

But for now I'll remember "life is long," and how darn lucky I am to be right here, right now.

Some links that may interest you:

Power of Moms is doing a photo contest for the cover of a book about motherhood I got to contribute to. For more information the link is here.

This family could use any extra prayers at this time.

My parents are finally selling the house that we grew up in that's chock-full of family memories and has a gorgeous view of Salt Lake City. We are all pretty sad about that little fact so rather than listing it they have decided to just do a little website about it to find some great family who can make it theirs and make their own tangible family memories there. The link is here if you know anyone who may be interested.

And last but not least, my sweet friend is doing a "Mother's Book of Secrets" give-away on her blog. Click here for that.

Happy Monday!

Friday Q & A -- Valentine's edition

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 17:23:00 +0000

On a post last summer you wrote about your mom/sisters girls trip and mentioned you shared things you had done for your husbands during the year. I would love to hear more about what was shared.

This question has been asked over and over in a variety of different ways (mostly in conjunction with posts here and here...note that there are a bunch of answers back in this post).

In light of Valentine's Day next week I figured I'd devote this Q & A to putting husbands first. Something we could all work on no matter how great our relationships are. And I'm hoping people will add their own ideas in the comments so we can all be better prepared to show our love next week (and always).

(That shape we're making in the shadow is supposed to be a heart in case you were wondering:)

Some of these things Dave and I do great. Others are things we are really working on. Others are things my sisters and Mom mentioned on that trip the "questioner" for this q&a was talking about.

Here you go:

Go to bed at the same time. (I know this doesn't work for everyone, but it makes a world of difference for us.)

If you go to bed at the same time, you get to have "pillow talk" which leads to belly laughs, which make me happy. (I feel so much more connected to Dave when we make time to really talk about how our day went and what's coming up the next day.)

Find at least a few of the same things to be interested in together. (We're always working on that one because we are so different, but I think it's so important.)

Learn what his "love language" is from this book (I know this may sound cheesy, but seriously, it is a pretty cool concept).

Never underestimate the power of touch. Even just a touch on the shoulder or a on his knee at dinner.

Tell your kids how excited you are to go on a date together with stars in your eyes.

Hug in front of your kids.

Tell your kids what you love about their dad. All the time.

Say you're sorry before he does.

Continue "dating" regularly forever, even if it's an "at-home date" after the kids are in bed.

Drop everything you're trying to juggle some evenings and just snuggle on the couch.

Watch a show you like together while sitting in front of him on the floor...he rubs your back while you rub his feet. (or visa-versa)

Text him love-notes in the middle of the day.

Tuck love-notes in his suitcase when he goes on a business trip.

Make dinner for him.

Dave and I decided right when we got married to keep any complaints or things we were bugged about between us. We promised each other that we would discuss those things and work them out just the two of us, not with our friends or neighbors. We figured it would make us stronger to work through things together and to keep that relationship sacred. And we were right. That's one of the best things about our marriage as far as I'm concerned.

Show that you value his opinion by giving in more often. (Hmmm...I need to work on that one...)

Let him beat you at Quordy here and there :) (that's a Boggle game on the iPhone)

Make an effort to give him a sincere compliment before you go to bed each night...something you noticed during the day. Be looking for the good instead of for opportunities to nag.

Talk about your budget often and make sure you're on the same page with how you spend.

If you're not on the same page with how you spend, re-evaluate. And give-in a little. Make compromises. Finances are one of the biggest stress-inducing things in marriages.

Forgive. And then Forget. Don't hold on to grudges.

If something is important to him, make it important to you. No matter how silly it may seem in your view at first. (That's my favorite one from my Mom and I think about it ALL THE TIME.)

Laugh. A lot. Keep a sense of humor.

Ok, and just to keep it real, here's what NOT to do to make your husband feel like you really care about him:

Chop your hair off in a moment of mid-life crisis even though you know he loves long hair.(But if he's really nice like Dave is he'll still love you anyway:)
Don't you love those nerdy iPhone self-portraits?

Cough all night long with allergies.

Back into your in-law's car.

Forget to warn him about five different conflicts you have in one night early enough that he can brace himself for it.

Text when you're on a date.

But hey, I'm working on those, and hair grows, right? :)

Strong marriages make strong families but take work.

Please add your ideas in honor of Valentine's Day...I know there are so many great ways to show love out there whether they're just ideas or things that are tried and true.

little things

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 15:55:00 +0000

Lots of little things I haven't been able to get to yet...

We celebrated the 100th day of school.
There's always a lot of pomp and circumstance around that special day. (My favorite artwork from that day is back here from last year. I still crack up when I think about that drawing.)

Someone who read this post about Jon Schmidt actually happens to work for him. So they sent Max some special stuff signed by Jon himself.
Now that's a way to make this boy feel special.

Thank you Jon!

Have you watched some of these "Piano Guys" clips? That's what I call a jump-start to some serious music-loving for kids.

We finally got these shelves put in our garage and man alive do they ever make a difference:
(Do you like my wheat-grinding station there on the floor? I'm very high tech when I grind my wheat.)

It's a lucky thing that we got the garage cleaned out because Claire and her friend decided to host some dance classes there for their little sisters.
I'm trying my very best not to eat Lucy up I love her so.

The weather is confused here. It is Fall in the back yard:

And spring in the front yard:
It has been so beautiful lately that we try to spend as much time as we possibly can outside. (That's the benefit of living in the desert in the winter. When the summer comes, I'll just say, not so fun.)

Claire found a good spot to meditate:

This park has been calling our names:
The girls like to plan outings to the park with all the neighbors so we can soak it all up before the heat starts to creep in.

Everyone brings a dessert and the kids and dads play football.
Grace is prepping for braces so she had to get four teeth pulled.
A short version of the gory story of our drive home is that Lucy decided to fling everything in the bag they gave around the car so all the extra gauze was irretrievable from my driving spot in the front seat. The blood on the gauze in Grace's mouth kept inching further and further toward the end and then started dripping in her hands. And all the while, still under the funny stuff anesthesia does to you, she just kept saying,"That was SOOOO fun!" in a dreamy voice over and over again. Oh man this girl makes me laugh.

If anyone ever needs oral surgery or teeth pulled this is the place to go. They go so far above and beyond taking care of their patients. If Grace was scared to death going in and came out jabbering on and on about how FUN it was, that place has got to be good :)

This is how the girls "shake the tablecloth out" after dinner:
Quite creative if I do say so myself.

Whoops, how did that one get in here? That's me and my sister. Those were quite the mini skirts.

My brother had a birthday.
We are so lucky we get to celebrate with him but mostly that we get to live by him.

He takes such good care of our family. Every time he shows up the kids whoop and holler like it's Christmas morning. (Do you like that collection of candles?)

Dave's partner came to visit us from China. He is such an incredibly nice guy and took the time out to teach us some Ti-Chi moves while he was here:
The kids were mesmerized by him.

He even taught me a little about the theory behind meditation and got me convinced that I should try to make it part of my life.

I took Claire and Grace on a little date to watch the high school band concert:
I want so much for them to be exposed to culture any way they can get it here in our little corner of the planet. Our high school, though not too hot at sports, exceeds all expectations in music. Aren't those big huge horns cool?

We went on the "Temple Walk" back on Claire's birthday, but I didn't post a few of the pictures back there that I liked. This is how our gym looked at 6:00 am:Crawling with teenagers ready to walk.

By 6:15 after a cool video and a little pep talk those teenagers left their grumpy, tired attitudes behind and walked the nine miles to the new temple site.
Because we were celebrating with Claire we only caught the end, but it sure was a neat experience.
Love these girls.

Claire won a really special character award at school.
We're so proud of her.

With all the birthdays going on around here we've had balloons floating around the house on a continual basis.

With that, Lucy has found a new mode of expression for her artwork:
I love it.

And last but not least, Claire and Grace have decided that they want to become actresses.

In order to prep for being in plays, they have decided to produce some "family plays:"
I loved coming across this script the other day...
...I especially like that I apparently get to be the wicked stepmother.

What perfect casting :)

meetings and mothers

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 15:53:00 +0000

In Las Vegas a couple weekends ago this is how I spent the majority of my time:...sitting around this big table with all these intelligent, kind, strong ladies on the National Board for American Mothers, Inc.

Did you know that American Mothers has been around since 1935?

It has honored mothers every year since that first year when Sarah Delano Roosevelt, mother of President Franklin D. Roosevelt, presented Lucy Keen Johnson of Georgia as the first National American Mother of the Year. (For more about the history click here.)

As I sat around that table I was in awe about all that goes into a 501C3...all the bylaws, all the financials, all the things you have to make a "motion" about and get "second"-ed from someone else. We had a lot of voting and a lot of discussions. These ladies know their stuff about budgets and allocating funds and all that jazz.

I was so impressed by their intelligence...they blew me away with all the technical lingo. But I was most impressed by their Motherhood. I think everyone there had been a Mother of the Year or Young Mother of the Year in the past. I think of the lucky children who are being raised by that handful of bright women. And it made me feel very humbled to be among them. I certainly did not belong.

But I sure felt honored to be there and was so uplifted by the experience. (I became a member of the national board because of this.)

The experience was heightened by having Dave join me there. We got to hang out at night after the meetings and I was reminded once again how important it is to have alone time like that. We got to talk and talk and talk.

Which is extra nice when you get to watch this while you do it:
I LOVE the dancing fountains at the Bellagio. I'm infatuated with them in fact. I think they are beautiful.

Here we are by the fountains even though you can't see them...

The next day amidst the meetings the Nevada Association of Mothers hosted us board members for a luncheon:
It was so nice to sit and talk a little bit with these wonderful ladies and hear about the programs they are doing to help mothers in their state. One project is a literacy project to help donate books to families in need.

Did you know that 60% of all inmates in the U.S. are illiterate? Interesting little tidbit, right?

Probably my favorite part of the meetings was hearing about the work the Mother of the Year from last year is doing at the U.N. to help bolster the respect of mothers and also to help fight against abuse of pregnant women.

One night Dave took me to see La Reve for a continuation of my birthday celebration.

I have to say that it was one of the most amazing things I've seen. I can't even describe it so I wish I would have snuck in a few pictures so I could remember some of the stuff forever, but man alive, suffice it to say that the creativity involved blew us away.

SO many different outfit changes, the stage changed from a pool to a stage to a fountain and back again over and over, there were people dropping from the ceiling and doing all kinds of synchronized swimming and acrobatics. It was a feast for the eyes as far as I'm concerned.

These flowers came out of the ceiling and walls at the end:

The next morning we wrapped up the board business:

Connell on the left below is the President. She is doing such a great job. On the right is my friend Irene who I met back at the convention in SLC. She told me some things back then about Lucy and the faith she had in healing that touched my heart to the core. I've felt a bond to her ever since.The National Convention is in Washington D.C. in May where they will name a new Mother of the Year and Young Mother of the Year.

I have felt silly many times this year when people say things about me being the Young Mother of the Year. I don't like to have that attention and I know there are so many mothers so much more worthy of that honor than I am. But I love having the opportunity to stand up for Mothers and fight for how amazing motherhood is in a world where it is sometimes not put on a pedestal as much as I believe it should.

Motherhood is the job for which all others exist. Mothers raise the future. Mothers are the gauge to peace in a home. They have the potential to deliberately change the lives of children for the better, which in turn changes the world.

I just feel lucky I get to be involved and learn so much from these women.

loss

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 22:22:00 +0000

On Claire's birthday we went and saw "So We Bought a Zoo." The whole time I sat there with tears in my eyes thinking how heartbroken I would be to miss out on raising my children. Children are resilient. And around here, they would have a lot of support. And they would have a lot of love. But oh how utterly heartbroken I'd be to miss being with them through the thick and thin of mothering. I know, I know, I wouldn't be here to be heartbroken, but even the though of it made me misty and weepy. It hit me harder than ever how incredibly blessed I am to be right here, right now, soaking in the tough stuff along with the jubilant stuff that parenting is made out of.

So with all that recently on my mind, this story really broke my heart. The loss of a parent. That dad who will not get to raise his children, and the memory of him there physically with them, fishing with them, tucking them in bed at night will fade gradually away...it hurts to even think about. It sure looks like he's done a good job so far, but the mother is left with both the father and mother jobs and my heart reaches out to her.

Just thought I would share what this wonderful woman in Australia is doing to to help this family. Click here for more information about the auction and how to help.

older

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 15:45:00 +0000

Meet our new birthday board we're putting in front of all the girls' houses this year on their birthdays:Lucky me, I was the first birthday of the year and was surprised find it already done accompanied by a major "heart attack" late at night the night before my birthday.

The kids thought it was the greatest thing on the planet.

Somehow it makes getting older feel better when people are so kind to you.

It didn't hurt to wake up to all kinds of sweet comments from this post and to keep having more streaming into my inbox all day long (thanks again for that). My family forgot to mention all the bad stuff that works to cancel out all those nice things they said, but I'll take it. :)

Every year on my birthday I renew my vow that I will be more thoughtful on birthdays because really, people are just nice.

Dave brought me these:

My most dear friend's sister who lives near me delivered these to me from her:
The kids made me artistic stuff like this:(accompanied by some back rubs and hair-do coupons)

Dave took me on one of my favorite hikes.

We went out for my favorite Thai food for dinner.

And made a cake from various treats people brought over.
It was a good, good day.

Maybe forty won't be so bad after all. :)

one of my favorite days

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 14:48:00 +0000

I used to think that my favorite days of motherhood would be when my children were perfectly groomed, smelling sweet and skipping along in a line behind me answering sweetly to my every command.

But through the years I've discovered that the disheveled, unplanned days tend to be my favorite.

I proclaimed that the last day of Christmas break was my day. Okay, at least the morning was. I told the kids they were mine at least for a couple hours. My proclamation was partly prompted by the fact that I had been missing them (non-stop hanging with friends ALL vacation it seemed), but our time together was also induced by the necessity of getting out of the house since I hired someone to come scrub the carpets after all the hullabaloo from Christmas was safely tucked away 'til next year.

So we went and got bagels. We never, ever get bagels.

We generally do not leave our house all together to eat. Not a good idea.

Lucy was horrible (hence the reason things like this are generally not a good idea).

Although she is one of the most polite children I know in the majority of situations, if you rub her wrong in the wrong moment she lets you know it.

That morning at the bagel shop she was somehow rubbed wrong.

I find it interesting to note the different ways people react to Lu. Sometimes people are annoyed and give me that "why-in-the-world-can-you-not-contain-your-child" look. Or there's the pity looks where I can tell they feel so sorry for me trying to cajole this strong-willed girl to do what she's supposed to.

But most often the reaction is sweetness and light. They look at Lucy like she's the cutest button on the planet.

They can see right through that naughty voice or the yelling or the pouting. (Remember this is just a sliver of time...most of the time she really is an angel.)

Maybe it's those luscious cheeks that perfect strangers can't seem to tell me they're cute enough times. Maybe it's that really, they do feel sorry for me. Or maybe it's just that Lucy does something humorous like demanding her "doughnut with sprinkles" right now as she points defiantly to the flat "everything" bagel smothered in fennel and poppy seeds.

That morning, the nice, enamored-with-Lucy's-cheeks lady behind the counter snuck her her own flat "everything" bagel and Lucy emerged triumphant....

...until she took a bite and realized it wasn't quite the "doughnut" she had in mind.

But we left with smiles from everyone including the sweet ladies behind the counter because Lu decided plain bagels weren't so bad.

I let the kids dictate what we'd do next. It was next door to the dollar store, and then to the pet store.

Why dollar stores are so fun for kids I do not know, but they were so excited scanning those rows of stuff.

In the pet store I remembered this day so long ago...
...and decided we need to go to pet stores more often.

When we got home they all took off in different directions to soak in the last minutes free from school. But I was satisfied. That morning with my straggly-haired ragamuffin kids all to myself filled my heart right up to the brim.

Friday Q & A -- favorite books

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 16:44:00 +0000

I love that you have done book reviews from time to time because it motivates me to find time to read in my busy life. Some of my friends and I are talking about starting a book club. Could you provide us with a top-ten "must read for book club" list? (Ones you particularly enjoyed, as well as ones that lend themselves to great discussion.) Thanks!

I have been getting a few similar questions like this lately so here you go:

I wrote a book review about a couple recent favorites back here, {Unbroken and Cutting for Stone} and my general theory with a bunch more details about my favorites is here, but here's a quick list of books that have created great book club discussions:

My all-time favorite book is The Good Earth. I wrote way more about it back here, but basically it's an incredible story that takes me into another world and teaches the joy and confidence that hard work brings.

Cold Sassy Tree -- I think this one might be my second favorite. Maybe just because of the thought process it made me get into that I explained back here.

Pope Joan -- There's nothing like a great historical fiction book about a strong woman. Loved this.

The Thirteenth Tale -- This was one we read a long time ago that made for a really good discussion. Details are a little hazy so I hope there's no questionable parts I'm forgetting about.

Unbroken -- I wrote much more about this one in that above link, but I think everyone should read this book. Great for discussion and understanding the history around World War II.

East of Eden -- This one's long but really one of my very favorite books about the generations of families and their struggles and triumphs. Loved our discussion about this one too.

The Red Tent -- This one sure made me think a lot about the Bible...made stories come to life (I've heard of some people who were offended by it...you definitely can't take it too literally, but I went back and read the Bible with a new light).

The Glass Castle -- I'm actually dying to re-read this one. Such an amazing story of triumph and resilience in the life of a homeless/transient girl and her crazy family.

Rebecca -- I know this is an old one but we had such a fun book club succession about it right around spooky Halloween :) I really love how Daphne du Maurier writes.

Jane Eyre -- Gotta love Jane Eyre (especially when your maiden name is Eyre :)

These is my Words -- Great book...it was hyped up a little too much by some others who read it so I wasn't completely over the moon about it, but I think it may be my book club's very favorite. Great story of life on the American plains.

I'm dying to ready A Tree Grows in Brooklyn...I've heard that one is great too.

I put a picture of each of these books on my side bar. Click on them if you want more information about each book.

Please send other suggestions. I love good book recommendations.

**I can't believe I forgot The Book Thief. Oh I loved that one. So beautifully written. We had a great discussion about The Great Gatsby too. And The Help. How could I forget that little gem? Wow, there are a lot of good books out there.

heart attack

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 15:05:00 +0000

We did our traditional family "heart attack" for Family Home Evening this week.

Each year near Valentine's Day we like to cover our kitchen and family room with love by writing down all the things we love about each other.
We glue yarn around some of the hearts to make them a little fancier. (Max was sick on the couch for this and Dave was taking the pictures but they were there basking in the love too :)

Then we read them all aloud.

Each year my favorite part is to watch the kids' expressions when we read what everyone loves about them.

Then we slap them up all over the place.

It's kinda fun to be surrounded by love all month :)

These are some of my very favorites that I couldn't pass up a chance to post on their own:
(that says "sis" at the end....heart melter even though she was kinda trying to be funny)

necklace winner

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 14:23:00 +0000

The winner of the necklace picked from random.org is:

Kateastrophe
who said:
"I love her stuff! Thanks for the giveaway!!"

Congratulations! Let me know your contact information either here or at sepphotography at gmail dot com and I'll get you in touch with Simple Starfish to pick out your word and get that necklace on it's way.

Thank you for all the entries!! I sure wish I could give a necklace to everyone...I'm sure Christine does too. I think she is doing free shipping this month for Valentine's Day (but you'd have to check with her to be sure with her) if you're wanting to order something special that you found on her site :) So many beautiful things on there.

Love, Shawni

Elle's new room

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 13:03:00 +0000

So we finally finished Elle's new room too. (Max and Elle switched rooms...I posted about Max's new room transformation here.)

So this used to be Max's room.

It went from this:

To this:

To this:
And like how it turned out...and we really like that it is done.

It took us a year to finally put the finishing touches on it but we had fun working together.

Elle had some definite opinions. (And my friend Denise helped us with some ideas here and there as well.)

Probably Elle's biggest opinion is that she wanted to do a collage of pictures on the wall beside her bed:My opinion was to do it on a different wall but man alive was she ever right.

When will I learn I should always listen to my daughter?

Here it is up a little closer:

I like mixing some different "elements" with pictures here and there like this thing that has been painted three different colors now:
(It's from Marshalls.)

...and this silhouette:
I bought that oval frame at an antique store a couple years ago and have been trying to figure out ways to use it. It was yellowed-white so we painted it. (To figure out how to do silhouettes like that check out the end of this post.)

The other frames are collected from craft stores (those ones have been painted over and over to go in different rooms in our house), Aaron Brothers and IKEA.

These wall boxes are from IKEA and the branch thing is half from West Elm and half from a branch I found in an empty lot Dave and I were looking at (I just put the two together).
The box crate thing on the desk is from an antique store and the frame is just a random one we re-painted with a print from an old Anthropologie calendar framed inside.

This cute yellow desk chair is from Home Goods:

And the desk is from an antique store:We had planned on painting it, but we ended up really liking the extra softness and variation it brought with it's "0ld-ness."

These curtains are from Pottery Barn Teen:
The bench thingy is from the West Elm clearance section:
(The white boxes inside are from IKEA and cushions from TJ Maxx I think.) I love that she has a place to keep her "stuff" in there.

My friends in the Stake Primary Presidency gave me that print of the temple when I got "transferred" to Young Women. Elle took it over. I love graphic drawings like that.

That big, huge mirror is from IKEA.

Last but not least the bedding...(That's a picture from Elle's birthday last summer and boy I feel like she has changed so much!) Since she doesn't have a larger-than-life canvas of herself in there like Max does, I figured we better at least include a picture of her :)

But I digress...

We bought that dark gray quilt thing and the green and white graphic-design duvet cover from IKEA and the throw pillows from Target.

Oh, and the paint color is same as Max's (Dunn Edwards "Foggy Day").

There we go. One more room transformation down.

necklace give-away

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 14:38:00 +0000

Remember back here where Christine from "Simple Starfish" sent me a necklace with my "one word" on it to help me remember it all year long?

Well, she was kind enough to send me another one this year with my new word "see" stamped into it.
(To read about why I chose "see" for my word this year click here.)

The great thing about that little bit of good news is that not only am I going to be reminded to "see" more with this necklace around my neck, but Christine has generously offered to do another give-away to give another necklace like mine to a lucky winner. (Of course, yours doesn't have to say "see" although I'm biased and think that's a pretty good word:) She'll stamp whatever word the winner wants on there.

So this is the deal. Leave a comment on this post to enter to win one of these puppies.

If you want another chance to win, "like" her stuff on Facebook (here) and come enter another comment that you did it.

If you want a third chance to enter, check out her blog (here) and come back to leave a comment about your favorite things she sells. There sure are a lot of beautiful things!

Good luck! I'll post the winner on Thursday morning.

**This give-away is now closed. Click here to see the winner. Thank you for all the entries! **

2012 snapshot

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 15:28:00 +0000

I have a problem.

I have a horrible memory. That's why I take pictures galore. If I have a snapshot of something, even if it's just a portion of the event, all the details seem to come flooding back when I look back at it.

For example, I was just telling Dave the other day about something or other that happened with my girlfriends on a trip we took forever ago. We happened to be in the same area where the girl-trip had been (Las Vegas) and I remembered it so well because I have a picture of it that came to mind when I was there. And when I started thinking about that picture all kinds of other memories came back...what we ate, what we talked about, what we had worried about, what we had been celebrating.

I'm so grateful for snapshots.

So each year at the beginning of the year I do a "verbal snapshot" of what's going on in life. (2010 is here and 2011 is here.)

Because I want to remember what is here right now...the richness of being in the thick of mothering and learning and growing. I know that all too soon it will fade and become fuzzy in my mind if I don't capture it.

Sure, I write a bunch on here about events and thoughts. But this is more "big-picture stuff."

So, future self (and children), here you go. Happy reminiscing.

When Max or Elle are in the car with me the radio is always on. And is always loud. Until I turn it off in exasperation because I'd like to hear myself think. And to talk in a normal voice to my children. (If that doesn't make me sound old, I don't know what will :) But then suddenly it's on again, loud and clear.

I find it quite amusing/amazing that those two seem to know the words to every single song that comes across the air.

Sometimes I have the kids make dinner but not as often as they did last year. I need to get back into that. But I do assign out little jobs...chopping for the salad, putting veggies in the microwave, clearing the clutter from the day off the counter...Our favorite family meals these days are Asian lettuce wraps, tacos and homemade chicken pot pie. Oh, we love white bean chicken chili too.

We still do "Clean Ten" when things get cluttery. I just yell out "clean ten" and everyone cleans up ten things. There are enough of us that that usually does the trick pretty well.

I am always in awe at how many groceries I have to buy to keep up with how much our family eats. I cannot keep the fridge full for two seconds.

Lucy and Claire's room has turned from being neat and tidy to being an on-going disaster area. We need to get a handle on that quick.

Max, Elle and Grace are all still taking piano. The goal is for me to teach Claire for a year and then start her up with the same teacher the big kids have.

Just because I have a goal does not mean that it gets done.

Max got a job. He works at Dave's office. He rides his bike there and back every day after school. Volleyball tryouts next week are going to mess that up a little bit.

Elle is doing "home study" for P.E. since she does so many hours of tennis lessons each week. This means she gets home a good hour-and-a-half before anyone else. We both love it. She has finally made the turn to asking if she can please go play tennis. It makes Dave and me want to jump for joy.

Much to my chagrin, I'm still not miraculously turned into a go-to-bed-early girl. It is so hard for me to make myself turn off at night after the kids are in bed. But I sure do try.

Claire just joined Grace in the ranks of Activity Days for church. To say she is pleased as punch about it would be an understatement.

I have had to be out of town more than I would like this last year (mostly Time out for Women and American Mothers things). Every time I'm gone it makes me appreciate even more the "gift of an ordinary day" here at home. I'm so grateful I get to be here in the "trenches" most of my days.

Every night when I go to bed I check on the kids. I have since they were born. I go from one room to the next and drink in the fact that they are mine...and that most of them are sleeping :)

When I check on Max at night he is almost always reading his scriptures. It never ceases to melt my heart.

Elle is getting really good at photography. Like, she really gets it.

Lucy and Claire have both recently declared that they want to marry Dave when they grow up. The kids all think Dave is the best thing since sliced bread. I have to agree with them.

Every Saturday for as long as I can remember we do Saturday jobs (see the lists in the middle of this post) and whenever I need the kids to help get ready for something specific I do one of these charts:(This one is pretty messy from yesterday but you get the idea...I write a chart of everything I need help with and then have the kids pick which ones they will do and write their initial in the circle next to those ones. When they finish they color in the circles.)

Grace is usually the "flat-bread" maker:
We love this stuff.

I am a texter.

A large-volume texter.

It's mostly to the young women and the other leaders.

I am glad that I usually have a "secretary" in the car with me (one of the kids) to whom I can dictate texts.

I have been the Young Women president for a little over a year. I have learned much more from those girls than they have from me. Same with the leaders. Boy howdy I get to work with some good ones.

Dave teaches Sunday School to the teenagers. He finally got released from teaching Gospel Doctrine for three years.

It seems that every night we have homework sprawled over the kitchen counter and kids needing help with such-and-such.

Max and Elle do their own laundry. Although it takes them a couple days to get through it and I have to put up with it stacking up the laundry room it makes me happy. Laundry is still my least favorite household job so I love having their help.

And the laundry room is still a catch-all for papers galore that I cannot seem to get a handle on for the life of me.

Lucy adores her school.

Lucy adores her school bus.

Lucy adores her speech therapist we've had for probably three years who comes to our house each week. She gets speech help at school too and has a vision therapist working with her one day a week. We have weeded out the physical and occupational therapy but are wondering if we should re-visit those options.

I cry when it hits me how lucky we are to have all the help that we have for Lucy. Really I do. I think I may cry right now just thinking about it.

Lucy adores coloring. She could do it for hours on end every day if the rest of life didn't get in the way.
We are really worried about Lucy lately because she is starting to be so much more interested in food. She has started hiding to eat things she finds that she knows we won't approve of and we are at our wits' end trying to figure out how to help. (Her syndrome causes obesity and we are so very, very careful with what she eats.)

I think it is so sweet, though, that for the most part she is pretty good with food. She knows that each day she only gets one little cup of milk that's not heavily watered down. After that if she's in the mood for milk she says "can I please have some milk with water in it?" When she gets a candy from someone she treats it like a precious gem, and usually saves it in it's own special bowl in the fridge for a little while before she eats it:

Claire still struggles with the UTI's that have plagued her for so long, but they are getting much more rare. We couldn't be happier about that little fact.

I guess the little girls have become less and less annoying to their older brother and sister teenagers because this is the view on our driveway more and more often:
The older kids are becoming "gatherers" like Grace is. (see this post)

Max is growing like a weed. There are two results I've noticed most recently: 1) he never, ever stops eating and is always starving to death, and 2) he's like a bull in a china closet. He knocks over, spills, splashes, etc. I guess he's just growing so darn fast he can't keep up with himself. He is taller than me.

Grace has a heavy influence on Claire and can talk her into most things she wants. She tries to puppet so much of what happens from what birthday presents she should ask for to who she should hang out with after school. Sometimes Claire is duped but most of the time she holds her own.

Grace is probably our best "morning girl" and is up, showered with her hair dried and straightened before we ever have to ask.

Right now we are in a "break" from serious extracurricular mumbo-jumbo and I love it so much. We still have piano lessons, tennis, dance (for all three little girls), exercise class (for Lucy) and church stuff (activity days and mutual) but soccer is over. Right now I'm trying to muster up the courage to get the girls started in gymnastic again because Dave and I have discussed that we need to (and the girls are dying to).

Claire has stars in her eyes about doing soccer, basketball, tennis, gymnastics, dance, cheer leading and volleyball. Yeah, volleyball. I think she may need a different mother. Grace is dying for volleyball too.

This is our favorite kind of cereal:
We all call it "mommy cereal" because it's the only kind of cereal I'll eat. (I don't like cereal or milk.)

Dave is training for a triathlon in California and is working so darn hard but is having trouble with his blood pressure. It's high. It runs in his family but we are a little worried about it because the medication the doctor prescribed makes him feel horrible when working out.

After three years of doing P90X and Insanity I finally joined a cross-fit training place that I go a couple times a week early in the mornings. It is a welcome change since I have those old workouts memorized and they are boring me to tears (not that they're easy, just that I was desperate for something new!)

Dave and I go on real dates every weekend. I look forward to it all week. And I never, ever forget to say a little prayer of thanks when we take off that we have three good babysitters in our own family to choose from.

During this new year we have recently tried to change our family scripture study to evenings instead of mornings. So far it's not working. We're giving it one more week.

Ok and with that, I must run pull Lu out of bed for dance class.

Friday Q & A

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 12:40:00 +0000

I have asked before, and am still interested in knowing where you got the "love more" sign in your entryway {see this post but don't look at it when it's all gross and brown, scroll down to after I painted it green}. I love it and SO need that reminder in my home right now. Can you please email me or post it on your blog? I would appreciate it so much.

I've had many questions about this lately so here you go: I went to Home Depot and had some wood cut to the dimensions I needed, sanded it down, painted it, and then painted the swirly "Love More" letters on it free-hand. After I painted them I used a Sharpie marker to kind of highlight the shadows so the letters look like they stand out a little bit. Then I got a quilt rope thing at Walmart and hot-glued it around the edge to create some dimension.

I have three little ones (barely 4, 2 1/2, and 6 months). My 4-year-old has always been the most obedient, helpful, loving little guy. Lately, though, he is TOTALLY pushing the limits... not responding when I am talking to him, harassing his little sister, yelling at me when I ask him to do something, etc. I'm completely taken by surprise because it came on so suddenly. We've never had to have any major discipline system in place because he's always been so good and easy. Anyway, do you have any suggestions for me?

The first thing that comes to mind when my kids change their behavior suddenly like that is that they are craving more attention. That's when they need extra snuggling and also maybe some extra "praise/responsibility." "Praise/responsibility" (let's call it "P/R" for short) is when you say something like: "Oh my word, I have noticed that you are so good at helping with the baby!" {or something else you really have noticed they do well...emptying the silverware in the dishwasher, clearing their plate after dinner, etc.}. "I don't know many other kids who can do that as well as you do. I'm feeling like I really need some help from a really big-boy helper. Do you think you could keep the baby happy for a little bit to help me out?" And then when they do, praise them up and down. "Oh that makes me so happy that you can do that so well! You are helping our family so much!" I swear the "P/R" thing works every time. Kids feel so much more secure and happy when they feel they are helping and valued.

To give more praise you could also go with the "talents on the fingertips" route I talked about back here, but be forewarned that your child may become so fascinated with those fingertip letters that she may decide to add her own...
Yeah, that's after scrubbing for a while the tub...
And yeah, that's her chin.

She got her legs too.

I think those are "G's"...do they stand for "good"? OR maybe "gregarious"? Who knows. But I personally think she should have written "T"'s for body "tatoo" artist. I mean, I think it's pretty talented to be able to write letters on your chin for crying out loud.

But I digress...

The very, very best thing I can think of in almost any disciplining situation with little kids like this is distraction. It works miracles I tell you. When Lu is pushing the limits I try my darnedest to remember not to let my emotions get in the way and change the subject. I'll say things like this in a very over-animated voice: "Oh my GOSH Lu, did you remember to tell Dad what you did at school today??" Or "Hey, I have a great idea! We haven't done a puzzle for a long time, let's go see if we can find a new one." Or "I have an important question for you: I'm wondering if you know how to draw a kitty." You know, stuff like that. I don't know if it's just Lucy, but it gets her every time. It sometimes even gets my bigger kids :)

The "not letting emotions get in the way" part is the key, because really, it's only going to give more fuel to the fire to get upset or openly frustrated. I know if a child is yelling at you it's the toughest thing in the world to keep your cool, but counting to ten helps. Really. And getting mad back doesn't. Believe me, I've tried it :)

Also, I wrote a couple weeks ago about how much I love natural consequences, time out, and the 1-2-3 Magic method. They work miracles. (If you haven't read that "1-2-3 Magic" book click here for more information that will change your life forever. That thing got me through my mothering of toddlers and pre-schoolers like magic :) I still do the 1-2-3- thing with my big kids and it works like a charm).

Which small camera would you recommend:

See the first question in this post.

Vegas

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 16:07:00 +0000

I'm at the airport heading to Las Vegas for a national board meeting for American Mothers. I'm excited to be involved with all that we will get to talk about despite feeling a little bad for cutting in front of a few people in the airport security line to make the flight only to have it delayed (I did ask for permission of course). Sorry about that, fellow passengers...

Also, I backed into my in-law's car the other night. I was a little distracted with Max sitting beside me begging to let him pleeeeeeaaaaase drive. I was a really good driving example that night.

Just thought I would share.

Love, Shawni

birthdays

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 15:29:00 +0000

Oh my word I'm not sure what to even say after all that kindness seeped into my computer and phone yesterday. Do I talk about how I will have to go back and read some of those nice comments/emails when I'm having a bad day? ...Or maybe I should print them out and paste them all over my kitchen? :) Do I talk about how much I wish I could respond to each person individually and tell them how I appreciate their kind words? Do I talk about how grateful I am for sweet friends who made me feel like a million bucks? Or about how my family took such good care of me?

Or do I hurry and rush on to another topic so I can change the focus here a bit.

Yeah, I think I'll do the latter. But first I have to say THANK YOU to everyone for making my birthday so nice. Because seriously, when you have a big milestone birthday like that it sure feels nice to be remembered. I headed to my gym class at 5:45 yesterday morning and found an email from a kind man in Brazil who reads my blog with google translation who was wishing me happy birthday. This led me to wonder how in the world he would know it was my birthday, which led me to more birthday wish emails which prompted me to check my blog and have my heart melt because of that sweet post. Then the rest of the day was just as good. It was a great day. I'll have to post pictures later.

But for now, on to other things :)

Let's talk about Claire's birthday. I kinda like that it's right before mine so it can take off a little of the attention!

So Claire's big day happened to fall on the same day as all the youth in our area were doing a "Temple Walk." This means there were nearly 1,000 youth and leaders walking early in the morning nine miles to the new temple that is being built in our city. {More about that back here and here.}

So I invited Claire.

I mean, what a better way to spend a meaningful birthday (turning 8 in our church means getting baptized...that's coming up in February) than walking with great older examples to see where a temple is being built?

But really, it was maybe pushing it a little far to have her walk the whole nine miles.

So I went to get the youth all situated early in the morning and then came back to have birthday breakfast with the birthday girl and the rest of the fam. (Max and Elle were at the walk and Dave ducked out of the picture because he was in his biking clothes...which I should really take a close-up of some day :).
And then we went to join the "big kids" who showered Claire with love on her big day.See the temple behind them?

She felt like a million bucks being so included.
Then she got to come home and open her presents.

She was pleased as punch about it all, but especially the one thing she asked for: a charging cord for her DSI that has been out of commission for a while.
But I think her biggest gift was that she got to have her friend spend the day with her...one who moved away from our neighborhood a while ago and who she adores. (It's always a good thing to have a friend when you're on an "off-party" year...especially when it's one of your best friends ever.)

She helped her do her treasure hunt to find her traditional candy-bar poster that Grace made up for her.It was a serious treasure hunt with lots of clues that went on forever. (Those are the clues they're holding up there above.)

(She was grateful.:)

We also went to a movie.(It was "We Bought a Zoo" which we all loved....I'll have to talk more on that later...lots of thoughts.)

Then we had dinner and came home for cake and ice cream.

Claire made a plan for her 8-year-old birthday cake shortly after her seventh birthday almost a year ago. It was going to have Oreo "dirt" and gummy worms: A gummy worm farm. She had drawn a diagram and I took a picture of it before it got thrown away.

I thought she would never in a million years remember that.

But she did. Every little detail.

So we had a "worm farm" birthday cake directed completely by the birthday girl.

I know, very random. I mean, it's not like she has an infatuation with worms or Oreos...or dirt. But hey, she was pretty darn happy about that cake.

And really, what's a birthday without having all the cousins come help you celebrate the day after?
We sure love you Claire Bear.

Happy Birthday Shawni/Mom/Hot Stuff

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 13:25:00 +0000

The kids and I are hijacking Shawni's blog to wish her a super happy birthday!! This is only the second time we have done this but it is such a big birthday we just had to. I know it is very rude to announce the age of a woman of a certain age so we will be as discrete as possible while we celebrate her birthday with the 40 greatest things we love about Shawni/Mom.

#1 Unbelievable ability to focus on others needs
#2 She loves a challenge
#3 Shawni is competitive but with compassion
#4 She has rockin arms
#5 If I have a problem she can fix it (Max)
#6 Loves newborns to tears
#7 I have never heard her speak an unkind word about someone else
#8 Shawni is very difficult to annoy (trust me I try)
#9 She has never burped in her life
#10 You are an amazing Young Women's President (Elle)

#11 She never wants to talk about herself, turns focus on others
#12 Changed from very shy to super outgoing
#13 Loves the world and wants to see all of it
#14 You have the best smile (Claire)
#15 Compassionate
#16 Incredible Scrabble player
#17 She plays with me (Lucy)
#18 Six feet of lusciousness
#19 Grabs great snapshots of life in her photos
#20 Ferocious fighter when pushed too far

#21 You make delicious dinners (Grace)
#22 Price conscience and thrifty
#23 She really makes me laugh
#24 You forgive and forget (Elle)
#25 Feels peoples hurt and prays for them daily
#26 You always know how to deal with anything (Max)
#27 Rarely has a bad day
#28 Never on time (wait, how did that get in there)
#29 Makes me feel like I wear the pants in our relationship
#30 You always understand us (Grace)

#31 Fiercely devoted mother
#32 Entertaining writer
#33 You are so nice (Claire)
#34 A great eye for design
#35 Never bought a tabloid magazine and has no idea who most celebrities are
#36 Reads me stories (Lucy)
#37 Very spiritually in-tune
#38 Really lives a well-balanced life
#39 Glass is always half full
#40 You are my best friend

We love you Shawni and know that everyday of the year you focus on others (family, friends, neighbors etc. ). But, today we want all the attention to be on you for this special day even though it will make you very uncomfortable and embarrassed. If any of you in blogland have a second please send a comment on what you love about Shawni or if you want a little more privacy send her a note to her email at sepphotography at gmail.com.

Shawni you are the greatest and I am the luckiest guy in the world to wake up in the morning next to you everyday. Now I gotta go, I need to run to the store and pick up thirty candles, we only have ten left in the house.

Max's room transformation

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 14:34:00 +0000

Last year we initiated the big "room switch" between Max and Elle.

They had been begging for years and finally we gave in.

So one week when Dave was in China we worked our little hearts out changing this:
to this:
(Yeah, it needed a bunch more work, but believe me, that was a lot for one week with all the stuff we switched around.)

Over the course of the last year it has finally come to look like this:If our kids ever wonder who our favorite son is, all they need to do is go look in there and see that larger-than-life picture of their brother. Wow, that turned out a little bigger than we had anticipated but we love it.

Oh what is that you say? We only have one son? Well, he's definitely our favorite :)

Ok, so here are some pictures of the process:
We bought a new dresser and nightstand at IKEA.

Now, IKEA sounds like a great idea when you look at a picture on the internet and check out the prices. It even sounds good when you see that piece of furniture live all put together like it's easy-peasy in front of you in that giant-maze-of-a-showroom.

But when you get home and take out all the pieces you think you should probably just go ahead and kick yourself.

...until it turns into a giant project with your kids helping...particularly that one who is going to use the furniture.
You think that they may not be able to follow those tricky instructions, but then you realize that really, they are smarter and more crafty than you had given them credit for.

I don't have a picture of the finished dresser but you can see part of it in that first finished-product picture. Here's the finished nightstand:I love that he has a drawer for each thing...school textbooks, spiritual (scriptures and seminary) stuff, electronics, etc.

Let's talk about where we got some of this stuff because I know people will ask and this will save some time answering.

That first huge mural of a wave up there in those top pictures was from IKEA...but it wasn't quite what we were going for, so we returned it. (We envisioned a humongous picture of Max instead ;)

We got that comforter cover at West Elm. I really love that store. We got his bed frame and headboard from there as well.
And the lamp is from Target.

The pillows, box shelf things on the wall on the left and plants are from IKEA.
This string-hanging-thing we hung all his fav. flags on is from IKEA too:
(More college brainwashing going on :)

This is is view from on his bed:
Those are all his trophies lined up there...the girls and I put them up there as a joke cause we didn't know if we should keep them or throw them away but he likes them there so there they sit, gathering dust.

That green rug is from IKEA too...just something to add a little extra texture. (lots of these ideas came from my good friend Denise...love her)

And last but not least, here's his bathroom with a picture of the place our ancestors came from that my mom and I bought in Denmark to give it a little extra color. (And hey, gotta love the sentimental stuff.)
Oh, and the paint color is "Foggy Day" from Dunn Edwards...made a little darker in the bathroom than in the bedroom.

So there we go...finished Max/guest room.
I'm sure the guests love that humongous picture of that handsome boy too :)

happy birthday Claire

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 05:53:00 +0000

Today my little girl turned eight.Which means she gets to get baptized in a couple weeks and also gets to have the "big talk" asap. (Click here for more about that...I'm actually really excited about it.)

It was a big day I will have to spill out all the details of another time when I'm not so darn tired.

But I couldn't go to sleep without writing what I adore about her.
Because my heart is so full that I get to be her mother.1) I love the spontaneous notes she writes to me...her heart is written right into them in her perfect second-grade writing that slants down the page. She leaves them on my pillow and turns my heart to mush.

2) I love her "big sister" voice that comes out when she is trying to cajole Lucy into doing what she's supposed to. She is extremely persuasive and nurturing. She is the best one in our family at tucking Lucy in bed without any tears.

3) She is a good little athlete and works hard at what she does. She wants do do every sport under the sun. It's too bad her mom can't give into her every whim because she'd probably excel at a lot.

4) She gets straight A's

5) She likes to make sure everyone is included.

6) I love when we are eye-to-eye talking about something...I adore those crystal-clear hazel eyes.

7) She is a leader. She does her own thing and doesn't give in to peer pressure (yeah, I know she's only 8 but it's a good start :)

8) When I pulled her aside for a minute to talk to her about her upcoming baptism tonight I could feel her strong desire to do what's right and her love for her Heavenly Father. I love that.

She makes our whole family so happy.
How grateful we are for this girl.

Friday Q & A

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 17:36:00 +0000

I have a question that I have been wondering about for some time. What happens when you and your parents differ in a parenting techniques or philosophy/policy to do with family? I know your parents have spent a lot of time developing and teaching parenting practices. I also totally get that you love and respect them. But you and your siblings are also grown-ups raising your own families. Seems like your parents take a very active role in teaching their grand kids; do they differ to your wishes? Are you ever able to voice a concern or differing opinion about something really important. (not what's for dinner, etc.)

That is a really good question and I think it came because of the things my parents do with our kids at Bear Lake that I talked about back here and here and here. I touched on a similar question about my parents back here (it was the second question in the post). But this one is a little different so I have to say that my parents, although they sure like to utilize times we're together like Bear Lake to grandparent, never, ever get into our parenting business.

Maybe I'd have a different response if our parenting techniques or philosophy were really different, but Dave and I basically think both sets of our parents did a great job in the parenting department so we want to duplicate that any way we can. Thus, we don't really have any conflicts of opinion. Dave's parents parented very similar to mine, so we just merge the two and are glad for any extra support we can get from loving grandparents.

Sometimes I'm so surprised at how hands-off they are. I mean, if I had the wisdom they do I'm sure I'd jump right in if my grandchild started throwing a fit or if they acted spoiled or if my son or daughter wasn't doing some parenting thing I was sure would make a difference. But they never jump in with any parenting advice unless we ask...sometimes I beg!

Sure, they push (sometimes a little too much) to have us gather together as much as possible (but I'm sure Dave and I will do that too when we're in their shoes). And they are probably the most interactive grandparents I have ever met in how actively they are involved with the grand-kids even though they live so far away from most of them. But they only reiterate the things Dave and I teach and we're SO grateful for that because sometimes they listen better so someone who doesn't actually live with them :)

Again, I may have a completely different opinion about this if my parents and I had different religious views or parenting tactics. But the fact that we share such strong convictions about both of those things makes Dave and me thank our lucky stars that we have them around to cement in the things we strive to teach them every day.

This post made me feel a lot better {click here}... because you mentioned that you openly apologize to your kids for not being a perfect parent. I do this too, and sometimes I worry if its okay. Is it okay? I mean, I just ask because my mom never did it, and it is hard for me to do... but i feel like it's good to do because I want my children to know that I am willing to admit my inadequacies. what are your thoughts on the matter??? Should parents never admit their bloopers to their kids?

Other parents may differ in their answers to this, but my personal opinion is ABSOLUTELY! I sure don't want my kids thinking I'm perfect because then how will they feel when they are parents and don't automatically do everything perfectly?? No one is perfect. We all make mistakes and what a better way to model how you overcome/fess up/make-right mistakes than owning up to them as a parent and showing your children how to overcome wrong choices or poor judgement.

Last summer we had a classic example of this: We had made a rule promising a cell phone to our kids in jr. high if they get straight A's. But when we made that rule we didn't know enough about what we were talking about to know what other issues would come into play (long story for another day). So we sat Max and Elle down and told them we had made a mistake. We explained that since they are our first two kids they "get" to be the ones to help us sort out the best ways to be their parents. We told them we were sorry and re-vamped the cell phone rules.

But there are much smaller things on a day-to-day basis...I get mad because I'm extra tired, or I deal with something the kids are begging to do in the wrong way. I make all sorts of mistakes. So later when the fuss has died down I try to remember to tell them I'm sorry and explain how I'm trying to mend my ways. I think it teaches kids empathy. And I don't know that you can have too much empathy :)

The canvas you have of the Salt Lake Temple is so gorgeous. {see this post} Is this a picture you took, and if so, are you sharing it? :) I recently bought a canvas groupon and have been struggling with what picture to use.

I do offer my temple prints as canvases for those who order them but I order from my canvas place and have them sent directly to clients. I do not give out the digital files.

This post made me laugh out loud! {click here for post} At what age do you allow your kids to begin using Facebook?

Let's see, we let Max start using Facebook when he was thirteen, and although sometimes I have regretted it, he's done a pretty good job not being addicted. So far Elle has no interest so we'll have to think about it when she starts to care.

I just got called to Stake Girls Camp Director and I have never been to girls camp...EVER!!! I would love some info: shirt logos, camp names, camp song, etc... It looks like you had a perfect week at girls camp!!! {our Girls' Camp sum-up is here}

(Just go ahead and skip this question if you're not going to Girls' Camp:) I have been getting a whole slew of similar questions lately since Christmas is over and suddenly camp prep time is here! Our Stake and Ward Camp Directors were amazing (as you can tell if you watch the slideshow on that post) and they are the ones who did the majority of the planning, came up with the theme, the t-shirts, all the singing stuff, etc. The lady over music was outstanding (the song they came up with is at the end of the slide show). They had some really good meetings with all of us YW presidents to help orient us before we left (I had never been to camp either).

I can't tell you the details of all that they did because I wasn't involved in that planning (although there are some good ideas to copy in that slideshow!) But I can tell you the things we did as a presidency that we learned along the way:

1) Girls like to feel united. So one of the things we had done in advance was to have ward t-shirts printed up for our New Beginnings way before camp. All the girls already in YW at the time had them on as we began, and when we announced the new girls coming in that year we gave them each a t-shirt to wear to become part of the "group." Then we used those t-shirts as one of our shirts we wore one day at camp:(I know some budgets won't allow this...we happened to have enough in the ward budget to provide these since we had recently had a big fund raiser.)

Our Stake provided this other t-shirt with our theme:
2) the girls loved getting to know each other better by doing "Secret Sisters." They were each assigned a "sister" to give things to (service or really small gifts) all week and then they told each other who was who at the end of our time up there.

3) the people in charge of crafts were amazing and I loved these lanterns they helped the girls make:(Goes so well with the theme this year too.) They just had the girls put dot stickers on mason jars, then sprayed them with a clear frost paint, then removed the stickers, attached wires for a handle and cute ribbon and slipped in a battery-operated candle. Voila: cute lantern.

4) Right when we arrived at camp we designated a "hang out spot" for our ward and we loved having that place to gather and bond. One of our leaders had an embroidering idea that we all worked away on in any spare moments while we chatted away.The bus was a good place to do this too.
(I wish I had a picture of the finished product...)

5) I think often-times we underestimate what amazing leaders the girls are. We had some outstanding YCLs (Youth Camp Leaders) who blew me away with their devotionals and the spirit they brought to our group. What an amazing thing for the girls to have peers who were so spiritually prepared with wonderful messages.

6) How can you go wrong helping girls to feel the love of God when you get to be in a place like this??
7) No matter what happens at camp, the most important thing as far as I'm concerned is the testimony meeting that wraps it up at the end. I believe that when youth have an opportunity to share what they believe in a meaningful way, they really figure out what it is that they have convictions about. The most important thing we can teach the youth is how to feel the Spirit from Heaven to direct them and guide them to make good choices in life (because as we know, there will be many tough ones to make!). And I don't know that there's a better way to feel and recognize that Spirit than in a setting like this and boy howdy is that Spirit ever present when the youth are sharing their feelings about what rings true to them.

Good luck with camp this year! It is an amazing experience!

I have a question for you from a few weeks ago. What software did your daughter use for her slideshow? {they're talking about the camp slideshow Elle made linked again here} It was super cute. I have some young women who have an assignment to make a slideshow and would love to help them out. Thanks!

Elle just used iMovie from our Mac. She's getting pretty good at that!

Christmas card wrap-up

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 17:42:00 +0000

Each year at Christmas time I get giddy when the mailman comes.

I love keeping in touch with friends from all over. And Christmas = Christmas cards in the mailbox. Dave and I lived in so many different areas before we plopped ourselves here in this corner of the desert ten years ago, and I love that even though we don't live by most of the friends we've made over the years anymore, we get to watch their children grow each year.

Each year we stick the cards all over the kitchen so we can think of those friends all season long.

And each year Dave conducts a mock "Christmas card contest" with the kids to determine which one they like best. But we all like all of them best so that makes it tricky:)

But I think Dave ruled that this one was "most creative" this year:...And I think he's right.

I like to keep track of good card ideas for next year too, so here are some other favorites mostly picked out by the kids:

I love the composition of this one:

...and this one:
Those guys above babysit the kids when Dave and I leave town so they were extra attached to that one.

You gotta love a little black and white:

...and beauty professional:

I love the lighting on this one:

My very favorite card was from our friends we lived next to in Washington D.C. She taught me drawing classes when Max and Elle were babies. She is amazingly talented. And her card is always a work of art:
I'd love to hang that one lifesize on my wall I think it is so peaceful and beautiful and serene. (Click here for more info. on her...she's on Mormon.org too.)

Each year, after the rest of the Christmas things are tucked safely away until next year, we let the cards linger for a couple days.

Then we reluctantly peel them off and our kitchen goes from this:

To this:
And we feel like we just moved in....

...for weeks later.

But we cut them down and put them in photo albums to pull out and look at during the Christmas season each year.

We miss all those familiar faces keeping us company in the kitchen, but our gratitude is renewed for the influences that each of them have had in our lives over the years.

San Francisco (part 3 -- how to get your kids to want to go to Stanford and more GGB)

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 17:32:00 +0000

How to help your children dream of attending Stanford some day:

1) Talk about it a lot. Like, all the time. Never let it worry you if they start rolling their eyes. They'll come around. I'm just sure of it.

2) Tell them how awesome their cousin is who graduated from there.

3) Work in a visit to see the campus during your trip to San Francisco.

4) When your son begs to buy a Stanford hat, hem and haw a little over it. Make him want it worse by questioning it. "Hmmm, it's kinda expensive...did you bring enough money?...etc."

5) Walk through campus. Make the kids sit through half of a really cool ceremony that happens to be going in in the cathedral.

6) Let them pose for as many pictures as they want on the campus. (Later enlarge them to life-size and hang them on their ceiling so they can drift off to dreamland thinking about that school every night).
7) Make sure you plan your trip when the leaves are the most beautiful to create a great backdrop.

8) Let them take as many pictures as they want becoming "one" with those things.
(Have I mentioned we like leaves?:)

(a little late on the "throw," Claire)

9) As you walk the campus, have your awesome sister fill their minds with all kinds of wonderful facts about how important college is. They'll really listen to her...no eye-rolling.
10) Have them take a picture of their awesome college-graduate mentors:
11) Let them ooooo and ahhh over the cool sculptures there...and take pictures posing with them if they ask.
12) Tell them how fun college life is. Relive a couple good college stories and have your sister do the same.

13) Sit in front of the library and talk about how awesome libraries are. (Yeah, that'll get 'em:)

14) Cross your fingers that maybe they'll get rid of that pesky test they base college admissions so darn heavily on.

15) Tell them they can have ice cream every night if they are getting straight "A's." (ha ha)

I'm all about brainwashing my kids to go to a good college, and hey, Stanford wouldn't be half bad.:)
Our last evening in San Francisco was filled with vistas of the Golden Gate Bridge. I'll let the pictures tell the story.
I love Max's face when he's teasing his sisters.

Just as the sun dipped below the horizon we scrambled up a deserted army barracks hill to watch the city settle itself into evening.The sunset on a grand adventure.

We got up before the crack of dawn the next morning to fly back to the desert.And came back to open arms from sweet Lu who we all missed so much.

In fact, one of my favorite memories of the trip was listening to the kids talk to Lucy on the phone while we were crammed in the car on our way somewhere. The delight in their voices to talk to that little sister of theirs was tangible....And of course we were so excited to get back to Dave who made it all possible. How grateful I am to him for sticking around with Lu and letting us go.

Oh but how we miss our dear Charity! Thank goodness she has a blog so we can keep track of all her amazing adventures! Click here to enjoy it along with us.

San Francisco (part 2--bike day)

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 14:38:00 +0000

Part one is back here.

Because yes, we went clear back the day after Thanksgiving and I haven't made time to finish writing up my wrap-up yet.

When I look at these pictures I get a little lump in my throat thanking my lucky stars that we got to do this.

It is at trip none of us will ever forget. (I know that sounds dramatic but it's true...even if our memories start to let it slip, the hundreds of pictures I took won't let us ever, ever forget :)

Part one {back here} was just day one.

Here's the next part of the story...

DAY 2:

Day two was bike day. We rented some wing-dinger bikes and took off to explore the city. We were pleased as punch about this because our feet were ready to take a break after walking all over creation the day before.

Our first stop was the Golden Gate Bridge (or the "GGB" as Charity likes to call it).

Now, I must preface this part by saying the GGB is one of my favorite structures ever. I don't know what it is about it...the color, the ingenuity of how it was built, how it stands out against the beauty surrounding it...probably a mixture of all of the above.

I love that thing.

So needless to say I was pretty excited that we got to ride bikes across it.
We rode along in single file as cars whizzed by (with a good, strong barrier between us) and the wind whipped through our hair. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face.

We stopped for a little break at both of the towers.
Claire was a little trooper with her scarf flying out behind her in front of me standing up to pedal hard every so often. My heart swelled up into my throat as I watched her and took it all in.

Gotta love that color.
Elle did her report before we left on the GGB.

Little known fact that she shared: The navy had initially wanted to paint the bridge black with yellow stripes.

Yeah, I'm glad someone vetoed that.

Here we are on the other side:

From there we crossed under the bridge...: (it looks cool under there, right?)

...and headed over to Sausalito. That was where the bike ride got a little hairy...no bike lane and my seven-year-old in front of me with traffic...but she was a little dreamboat on that bike.

I had to remind myself she can ride circles around me. I'm the one who crashed into a stop sign a couple years ago with Lucy on the back.

Ouch.

Sausalito was gorgeous.

We ate delicious hamburgers and grabbed some hot cocoa to help us brave the biting wind on the ferry we loaded our bikes on and took back across the bay:
It was a beautiful, fun, cold ride.

Grace was excited to pass Alcatraz (she did her report on that thing):

The skyline looked cool in all the haze as we neared the ferry building on the other side.

We parked our bikes at the Ferry Building...

...and explored all the colors and sounds and tastes and smells it had to offer.
We loved this street performer:
Talk about talent with garbage cans.

After the Ferry Building we biked over to Pier 39 to see the sea lions.
Unfortunately this was our view:
I guess they were shy that day.

And with that, we were off to Fisherman's Wharf where we went to the sourdough bread factory and snacked on some baguettes:
And what would be a trip to San Fran without a quick stop at Ghirardelli Square?

We savored the taste of our free chocolate as we rode our bikes back to the bike place to greet the sunset.
After all the wonderful things we got to do that day, I think those ten to fifteen minutes were my very favorite part.

We were all so happy and tired and fulfilled after an exhilarating day.

We snuggled back into the car and drove past this on the way to dinner:

And filled up on some Mexican food and delicious fruit drinks at this place in "The Mission."
Mmmmm, that guacamole is making my mouth water :)

Ok, the last day is going to have to wait because I think I have carpel tunnel in my fingers from moving all these pictures around.

And because all these pictures are making me want to go back.

And making me miss my dear sis.

Love you Char!

volleyball and tennis

noreply@blogger.com (shawni) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 18:29:00 +0000

Now that Max is about ready to try out for the high school volleyball team, I better wrap up his season of club volleyball that ended before Christmas.

He sure learned a lot.

I had to be out of town for the first few tournaments so when I finally got to go watch I was amazed at the improvement.

Their team wasn't the best in the league, but they sure learned a bunch.

I loved having a day to just sit and watch in the midst of the hustle-bustle of the Christmas season.

Obviously so did my girls:

...especially when they got to perch themselves on the top of the bleachers with McDonalds no less.
...and Lucy didn't so much watch the games as she did color her little heart out:
I loved to watch Max's positive support from the sidelines:

And his hops on his blocks:

Wow he's getting so good at those.

Elle had a tennis tournament the same day so we snuck out early to go catch the second half of hers and left these boys to finish off the tournament.

They were a little discouraged and I figured the ending wouldn't be what they hoped, but then my friend sent me these:
That's the only trouble having so many kids...you just can't be there for everything.

Thank goodness for technology so we can see things we can't be there for.I'm so proud of this boy.

On to tennis...
Elle played up a level and won the whole thing.

Maybe it was because of her cheering section?
They sure had fun on the sidelines.

I made them pose with their "medals" that night.
They love me when I make them do things like that:) But hey, that was a big day to be captured.

How I love these two teenagers.