After a few odd life changes, I gave birth to Oldman and Gremlin. I love those little weirdos!

J and I always wanted to be the house that the neighbor kids hung out at. Apparently a huge yard, homemade foam weapons, tons of wheels, and plenty of popsicles is all it takes to make that happen! Now I find myself 12 years into this parenting thing with more than 2 children. They all call me Mom and come to me for advice and love. This mother’s day, my heart is breaking for 3 of my adopted kiddos.

D1 (13 yo) has been with us the longest. She lost her mother 3 years ago to H1N1. She’s been in and out of court due to sexual abuse issues with an uncle and recently her older sister has run away and no one knows where she’s at. D1 longs for acceptance and love. The only other female in her life is her grandmother who is in the hospital with pulmonary edema.

D2 (8 yo) has been around for about 2 years. He is my biggest struggle. He lives with his grandparents nearby. His father only recently got out of jail (drugs) and his mother is still in jail. The judge won’t let him be with his father, which is good, but his grandparents have made it clear that they don’t want to raise a grandchild. D2 has issues with anger and goes to therapy for it. He also requires a heavy blanket whenever he starts to get too stressed out. He wants and needs boundaries. He needs a father figure, but is very open with me.

D3 (12 yo) is my newest one. He moved into the neighborhood after his mother died 2 days before Christmas (2011). He now lives with his dad and his boyfriend. The dad is not ready nor is he wanting to raise D3 and his younger sister and older brother. Food is not a priority in their house. D3 has a heart of gold and is at a critical place in his life.

All of these kids are loved and treated the same as my kids while at my house. If they eat dinner, they clean up. If they pull every bike or foam weapon out of the garage, they put it back. They help in the garden and I always make time to sit around and goof off with them.

Yesterday I overheard D3 tell Oldman, “Oh man, it’s Mother’s Day this weekend…“
Oldman: “I’m sorry, man…you going to be ok?“
D3: “Oh sure…I’m just trying to figure out what to get Mom…your Mom.”

It completely melted my heart.

How in the world did this happen? I’m floored yet so happy that I get an opportunity to speak into some kiddo’s lives that need a “Mom” in a bad way. Mother’s Day takes on a whole new meaning for me this year…I’m so much more grateful.

I hear that telling the truth will set you free.

I’m not feeling too free right now.

I have been telling a lie for over 20 years. For the sake of my health and my son’s, I’m going to “liberate” my black heart from this lie. It’s not like I have to confess it to Jesus as he’s oh, so very, aware of my silliness. I really don’t expect some angelic, trumpet-blowing moment after relinquishing this lie, but here goes:

I been telling doctors for 20 years that I’ve had my tetanus shot recently and I haven’t.

There. {For those of you laughing…try going in at 11 year old to a Health Center and letting some 80 year old lady throw needles at your arm all day! Those needles were 6 feet long! Yes, they were!!!}

…big breath…

This means, that in reality, I haven’t had a tetanus shot since sometime in the 80’s. My mother knows about this HORRID lie I’ve been telling. It makes her crazy. “What about lockjaw!?!?!” I figure it’s the 21st century…don’t they have a cure for that yet?

I’m going to a new doctor. I actually kind of dig her, but she’s got this “bad patient” radar and she zero’d in on me like a buzzard on roadkill. Something about how they’re having to give the whooping cough shot WITH the tetanus shot to protect me from my bad immune system. I immediately started sweating.

*the above image makes me sweat…really*

Oldman is due for his 12yo boosters and he’s freaking out. He had such a bad experience with so many needles when he had his Purpura bout that he looks at needles like I do. So I do the stupidest thing EVER…

…I’m going in with him tomorrow morning so we can get our shots together.

You don’t understand! Just writing about this about to put me into a straight jacket!!! For some reason, something highjacked my brain into thinking that I could go first and show Oldman how it’s done. Now, all he’s going to see is his mother throwing up in a cold sweat saying, “Ok, let’s do this…WAIT WAIT WAIT…GIVE ME A MINUTE.…Ok…NO…NO!!!!!”

He’s going to be more terrified than ever…

Jesus, take the wheel.…Oy.

Latest:

1. LISTENING: To the sound of my mommy alarm telling me it’s time to get started on dinner. (Stupid frozen chicken…THAW!)

2. EATING: Nothing…but I swear I hear that bag of Easter Peanut M&M’s peeping at me.

3. DRINKING: 5 hour old ice tea. Blech!

4. WEARING: Jeans, Silver Dollar City t-shirt and flip-flops. At least it’s not pajamas!

5. FEELING: Great…still enjoying the happy hang-over from a long Easter weekend.

6. WEATHER: Perfect 72 degree weather. Although I’m the worst mother ever for not letting Oldman play in the pond. *eye roll*

7. WANTING: My last class to be done. #Senioritis!

8. NEEDING: A personal chef. I love to cook, when I don’t have 50 other things on my plate.

9. THINKING: About the SEO conference I’ll be speaking at next month.

10. ENJOYING: A moment of peace before the dinner “crowd” takes over my kitchen.

With a house to myself it got me thinking {yes, that means I don’t get to do much thinking otherwise}. I started thinking about the pet turkey I had when I was 17 and living in India. His name was Bro. I didn’t name him. My dad bought him down on the plains and they chatted for 10 hours all the way back up the ghat. Dad said it un-nerved him having this bird in a sack, so he uncovered his head and Bro would sit there and look up at him while Dad talked with him. They formed a bit of a bromance..if you will. {Sorry, Dad…stop gagging…I had to go there.}

The purpose of Bro was to fatten him up in time for Thanksgiving, which was a rarity then. I immediately fell in love with Bro. He was the sweetest thing! The monkey’s were a bit curious, but after awhile left him alone. Bro tried to impress our chickens, but our rooster didn’t care for that too much. Bro would huff and puff up and down the chicken coop which would enrage our stupid rooster. Truth be told, I was kind of rooting for Bro.

Bro and I hit it off immediately. I was always in the back tinkering with my mo-ped or laying in the sun. Bro would come out and sit next to me and we would chatter with each other. It didn’t take long to realize that when I laughed out loud he thought I was calling to him and he would gobble loudly right back! A few times I would be inside the house laughing at something or someone and here comes Bro around to the front of the house, up on the porch and trying to look in the house. I would laugh and he would respond!

One thing I’ve bragged about for years is how Bro had hugged me a few times. That was what got me thinking this weekend. Whenever I would sit on the ground, Bro would come up behind me, wrap his wings around my arms and lay his head on my shoulder. Sweet, huh?

Let’s think about this a second.

A hugging bird from behind…who loved me.…hmmmmmm.

Yeah…I’m thinking, ewwwwwww.

EWWWWWWW!!!

It’s taken me 24 years, but I think he was doing more than hugging me!!!!!

This realization hit me this weekend and I was mortified! I said something to J about it today and he laughed hysterically! Of course he knew what was going on when I would re-tell that story, but HE NEVER SAID A WORD!!!

I’m wondering how many other people I’ve told that to, who walked away thinking, “Poor special girl.…”!!

Bro ended up pining for a mate and declined quickly…just in time for Thanksgiving.

We ate him.

I always felt bad about that. Until this weekend.

Stupid bird…!

My last illness had to do with an ear infection that went wrong and I still can’t hear well out of my left ear (which the boys and J are having fun with to ad naseum). So I turned older and became deaf! All I need is to change into my moo-moo every night and I’ll be set!

We had no winter whatsoever in the Ozarks so here it is mid-March and my garden is planted and ready to go. Of course it helps that it’s a raised bed, otherwise, I’d wait for some of the Spring floods to die off.

The boys have spent their Spring Break, last week at the pond fishing for things (fish, turtles, frogs, etc) catching snakes, having earthworm fights and just about anything else disgusting boys do. (They had a lot of fun and it was a blast watching them!)

The only thing I have been able to keep up on is work and it’s been great! So happy with my clients and those I get to work with every day.  I’m truly blessed in that area!

Oldman is hitting that growth thing a bit early. It went from 4’8″ to 5’2″ in like a few months. He’s wearing shoes bigger than his dad(!). And he won’t stop eating! His day consists of 4 eggs for breakfast, a foot long sub for lunch, and 3–4 pieces of meat with tons of veggies. Of course that doesn’t count on what he eats in between!

Gremlin has finally started gaining weight. We are so excited for him! His gluten-free, sugar-free, anything fatting-free diet doesn’t help him in the growing area. But with some Boost and other vitamin changes, we’re finally started to see some results…woo-hoo!!

We’ve been dealing with a few things as a family that I don’t quite feel comfortable to air to the world just yet. Once everyone in the family comfortable, then I’m anxious to share it on here. I really want to document it here so I can remember the changes.

There.…now I feel like I’m caught up enough to ease back into my posts. I’ve missed it! I’m so much more creative when I can get my thoughts together here and decompress my mental drive.