8 mile Jackass!

Being a True Malayali - A Rant.

2011-08-27T07:52:00.004+05:30

Being a Malayali, it indeed pains me a lot to write this post up, but it had to be written. Our State is going through some dark times in judgement of morality it seems. And it is really a sad state that we are in, right now. Let me brief you on some points.

First of all, Social Media. Kerala, even if how we Malayalis view it to treat them as our own, is never our own. I have been having a Twitter account for almost 2.5 years now. And needless to say, I have learnt a lot from this. But what I have learned the most is the difference between the Mallus and the rest of the country. This was further confirmed from my all-India trips which included some of the major Metropolitan cities in our country.

I'll get back to this point later, but then now I would stress on how and why Malayalis are like this.

Every Malayali is born a Malayali, and brought up to be very proud of his Mallu heritage. This remains, till the person hits puberty, when he or she has to make a choice. A choice that will determine what he will become. A true Mallu or a true Human Being.

I was going through a feature in Open The Magazine, which was titled "Devil's Own Country For Women", needless to say this outraged me a lot, and yes, it is the pivotal reason behind this post.

So, getting back to the choice.

There are four types of Mallus:

The Normal Mallus.
The Retard Mallus.
The Outcasts - Fraud Mallus.
The Non-resident Mallus.

The Normal Mallu

The Normal Mallu is the major Mallu Stereotype. He wears the White Dhoti and White Khadi shirt at every major function, she wears the White Sari. Everything looks so normal, until you get to know them closely. One half of them are good, and like change. They accept the changes put to them. They like to keep the heritage of our state, so they never dare to do anything different. Almost all your good mallu-Stereotype features fall into this category.

The other half is in a power struggle within themselves. All they see in power, and they take it using the best way possible, corrupting the minds of people. Apparently they will look all well dressed, and aptly well spoken in all public events, but they move the crowd in a way that still makes me wonder how many retards I have in my state. These people are pure evil. Educated, smart, pure evil.

The Retard Mallu

They are the reason why I sometimes begin to hate where I come from. Educated or not, it really doesn't matter, because, these, are some serious retards. They come from all sections of the society. They don't know how to react, they don't know how to think. They think that being Educated makes them smart. They are the garbage that this country has to be cleaned off to remove.

They are mere sheep in the hands of the power-loving Normal Mallu, I defined, a few words before. By sheep, I mean, Fucking retarded Sheep. Channel their minds to a thing, and find out what happens. It's like an educated army of retard-zombies who can be controlled by a common cause with no logic to support it at all. That, is chaos, my friend.

All the Political and social problems can be an offshoot of this category.

More problems start when these sheep are left alone, without control. They are just sex-deprived, horny, and really really ugly. Not to mention the unwanted hair they never trim off. This goes for both the sexes.

They eve-tease women, and when they talk dirty, they cross all limits that is is more gross than dirty. Also, this is the reason why Mallu p0rn is like that, it makes you puke than giving you a boner. But these people, they like it that way. The Men grab women's assets in the open, the men grab men's assets in the open, every fucker wants sex, but never gets it, thanks to being the retard.

The Thinking process of this people start and end with textbook education. Being in politics make them feel responsible, even though all of them have no idea of what they are fighting for. It's just a huge shitpool of retarded and wasted education. You channel them in any way, they will blindly follow suite, all you have to do is lead them with a sign, and symbol, or even a color-theme like Red or Green or Saffron, and it will do the trick.

Their thoughts are so skewed that, no mater how much education they possess, they will never accept the changes that happen outside. hey never think to progress. These are your Moral Police. They impose weird laws on people, in the name of "safeguarding the Malayali Society and Culture ", and hurt poor young people dating, even siblings riding in a vehicle thinking they are lovers, or colleagues hitching a ride just because they were a co-gender group.

These are the same people who grab even men's crotches. They are all the same. All that matters is how society views them. It is all a mask. They fake so much in the open that, it is for a sure fact that, they are exactly the opposite of what they seem. They make women's life hell. They are the venom in our society.

The sad fact is, they are the Malayali population majority, and hence all the evils in the Mallu-stereotype belong to them.

Personally, all I feel is, making these asswipes fall-in a single line, and then opening Machine gun fire on them.

The Outcast - The Fraud Mallu

The Minority Malayalis. People don't even believe we exist. Most of the credit goes to the parenting, which enabled these people to be free-thinkers even as kids. They grow up to become good human beings, but according to the Mallu society, Bad Mallus.

The Mallu Society judges people, and puts the benchmark of social acceptance of mere things like Alcohol, Smoking, and Doping. And that is it. And ofcourse, how we are supposed to "respect" this supposedly faking asswipes.

Thanks to all this, and various other reasons, we are labelled out of their society as outcasts. The Normal-Retard groups, being the majority label you as a freak, for being impulsive, awesome and fun.

The Outcast Mallu:

We are the ones who respect women EVEN when they are at a disadvantage. We take care of them.
We are the ones who have become fed up of this social etiquette that is nothing but retarded pure evil.
We are the ones who are always questioned for what we do.
We are the ones who rely on logic and goodwill.
We are the ones who totally defy the Mallu Stereotype, making the people from outside even wonder, if we are from the same state.
We are the ones who drive the over-drunk girls safely back to their homes.
We are the ones who kick in the faces of people who eve-tease our women.
We are the ones, who act, on our own.
We are the ones who think freely.
We are the ones who had to face s much ridicule from everyone throughout our lives, just because we could think on our own, and never failed to express it.
We are the one who have to face all the shit from the rest of the world just because we did one mistake - We were born Mallu.
(Please Use the Comments Section of this Blogpost to add more... I'm currently pissed off, that my thinking almost went numb)

But the Majority of the Mallu society throw in allegations as to how we are destroying the Mallu culture. Trust me, if the Mallu culture is what hey make of it, we are on the right path then. If wearing Comfortable shoes, getting a Tattoo done, and wearing a Tee-shirt, and hang out, have fun,and listening to the music that the whole world is listening to, is how they claim us to destroy the Mallu culture, I have nothing to say.

The only funny part about this is, we are the ONLY Malayalis (along with the NRIs) who get accepted everywhere else around the world, except in our own homeland. Which sucks balls. Also, the only ones to properly get laid, making that a consolation.

We are respected, and accepted everywhere, we are not even referred to as being Mallu, we just end up belonging everywhere. I hope our fellow "Normal" Mallu brothers get their education right to understand this fact at some point in their life. If there is any actual Moral Police needed, it is for you, you fucking retarded shit-pile of dung. Go clean up the cities of garbage, help in clearing the gutters in our roads, you clowns, do something actually relevant to out country.

The Non-resident Mallu

The Non-resident Mallu, born in the state, raised to be a douche, and flown to the "Gelff" or the states to make extra money DO NOT come under this category. This category consists of kids of NRI Malayalis, who end up being awesome. The only major difference between them and the Outcast Mallus is that, they never get outcasted. In short, every Non-resident Mallu has an awesome friend in an Outcast Mallu, and vice-versa. rest all can go suck Donkey balls.

I have a learned a lot from my travels and being in constant interaction with all my followers on Twitter, who come from all over the world, and I noticed one thing. How can the thinking and the perspective of the whole world be wrong and the current mallu majority perspective be right? Cultural norms vary from place to place. While you cant bend them immediately, you can sit back and hope globalization engulfs us all, without eroding away our cultural identities. If that is right, then why are the "Normal" Mallus still not accepted anywhere else? And why do I not see any progress in my own State of beautiful Kerala, where the tourists come, but stay away from the "normal people" and only interact with people like us, freely? WHY? Our cultures should define us, not demarcate us.

Now that I have briefed you on the different things that I have wanted to say, please read the article that made me say all this, here: Devil's Own Country For Women - The Open mag.

And till then, bite on this video, y'all. Ciao, and HAPPY ONAM!! :)

Stay Hollow, buggers!

Cheese Burst.

2011-04-13T22:12:00.001+05:30

If you knew what I was up to, would you actually have let me do it? Or would you stop me? Like any other person would? Look I fell in love with you. Not just another boy, but you. And do you know why it was you? It was because you were different. It was because you were you. But now look, you reacting like the others as well. You are mad at me for the fact that I did not tell you what I was going to do.

AND THERE ENDS A RELATIONSHIP. SHE ORDERED CHEESE BURST INSTEAD OF BIG MAC. SHE SHOULD HAVE ASKED HIM BEFORE. SHE DIDN’T GET IT. HE HATED CHEESE BURST.

***

Now Playing: Sign of the Cross - Iron Maiden.

How Not To Write A Love Story.

2011-01-21T17:37:00.000+05:30

Rip-off from an old one I composed years ago. Revamped for @Item_ 's Love Story Contest.

Solitude.

That night she couldn’t sleep. Maybe she was sleeping all these years, and had woken up only now. But she woke up to nothing more than a sense of loneliness. The air was cold, but she didn’t shiver. Not even one bit. She had lost her chill, and felt the warmth already… traversing from point to point through isotherms, decapitating any laws of thermodynamics and meteorology that were left in the scope of her intellect. But she didn’t mind. She was never lonely, ever in her life, never before. But that night, she couldn’t find peace. She wanted to share, her life, her soul, everything, but she was alone. How ironic the world makes itself seem. One second it puts you in a cradle surrounded by care and the next second, you are to be self-employed man, sometimes an employed man under some self-employed man, selling your own worth for peanuts.

But Tyler had it all figured out. He was a complete man. Girls died over him, and there was always one with him to bed. He wore shades, dressed like a celebrity, but all he did was rob… rob someone of his car, rob someone of his condo, but more, rob someone of his own self. He never hesitated to kill, he was fearless, and he was filled with awesomeness like Sly Stallone in the 90s’. But then, to think he was another person was out of the question. He was you, and me, your father, your best friend, your brother, your lover, he was everyone, and still was no-one. He was everywhere but nowhere. And Here is where our story begins...

She had dreams. Photographers, High range of cosmetics, face-paints as he called them, Flashy cars, Awesome Parties, and so on. And that was exactly why she joined one of the best Fashion Technology Institutes in the country. Little did she know that she would find such a damaged soul with her, trying to do the same thing, only for a different purpose. His name was Tyler.

A beautiful love story after, fate brought them closer. She began to love him more and more. But the dark passenger in him wouldn’t go away. It was like his curse. But the sad part was that he embraced it. He loved the darkness. And she feared it. But then, the important fact was that, she learned to live. Everyone loved her, but they all took her for granted. And now, after all these years, she found herself a guy, someone, who she could relate to, on each n every point of her life. He loved her. She loved him. But she knew this wouldn’t happen. He knew that too. Even with all the pain he had been through, he had finally found that one person, how could he let her go? But she couldn’t risk giving him more of the suffering. She knew what he had been through. Maybe, she had been there too. At some point of time, she knowingly sacrificed her sense of losing him, over the fact that their inevitable separation, which will chance only years later, would end in more pain that they could take. But nothing is inevitable here. Everything can change. But she loves him. He loves her. And their families love them. But the darkness inside him was growing. Maybe all she wanted was the comfort of a guy, all he wanted was material. He was cold, and he was a bastard! But then just like that she changed him. She changed him to something totally contradicting Tyler’s whole existence. He was a new man. He was T.

T wanted to love Leah, but he wasnt strong enough to take pain. Still he was innocent enough. So he loved her. And she loved him. And they loved each other. But they had to part one day. And that day was a year ago. So today, she was awake, but was he? Maybe she loved him too much, because after they parted they had made a promise… a promise to see each other. Did he forget? How could he? Was she just a puppet… just another one of Tyler’s playthings… or did she actually change him to T. But she believed. She believed in T.

And so she did not feel the cold in her skin. Her hair did not rise when the cold wind blew over her naked skin… maybe it was because she had waxed herself to perfection, maybe… She did not have one drop of tear on her face, but he had. Looking down to her, he couldn’t bear to see her in pain. But he was happy for her. At least she did not know he was gone, and to never come back. That would have broken her to pieces, and he never wanted her to feel pain. He had promised her that. But his fate was done with. That very day they parted. And so he watched, as he tried to reach her, and hug her. And so she felt warm.

The End. Or is it?

Your life is like a Toilet Seat.

2011-01-14T21:11:00.001+05:30

Like I said before, it is.

Let me draw your attention and concentration to this very humble object resting on your toilet. Even though it gives addition support to your very soft thighs, it's main purpose is to shield you from the utter cold ceramic toilet ring (Yes, All Guys know this. Girls, Boo Ya!)

Now that a very brief and interesting introduction has been posted, let me get right back to the topic under your ass. The Toilet Seat, and its connection with your Life. I went so bold as to say Your Life is like a Toilet Seat. And it is your duty is ask me: Why? Why Hollow Baba Why? Also How? but it doesn't matter. I will tell you anyway.

1. Toilet Seat evades so much shit everyday, still one fine fine day, it accidentally gets poop all over it. So Does your Life.

2. Girls always want their Toilet Seats down. Boys want it always up. So Does your Life, If you know what I mean. ;)

3. Your Dog doesn't care about your toilet or your toilet seat. Face it, your Dog doesn't care about you and your life either.

4. When you drink a lil too much, You have a chance of soiling your Toilet Seat with puke. Same Chance your Life has.

5. Toilet Seats Expire. So Does your Life.

6. Toilet Seats don't have a Life. Do you? Naaah.

7. Everyone wants to Poop with the Toilet Seat. Everyone wants to Live the Life.

8. Your parents abuse your Toilet Seat. Yes they do. When you are not at home. Now you get my point?

9. Also, If you are a guy, you never clean your Toilet Seat, You Just Invite your Girl Home. Same Goes with Life.

10. Adjusting to a new life is quite a pain in the ass. Same applies for a new Toilet seat.

So, There you go. 10 points to start you with. I know you braniacs can do way better. But then like I said, I show you the way, you improvise and expand, that is how the HollowManiacism works.

Next Up: A New Life. So That you can actually have one!

BABA Out.

Schrödinger's Cat.

2010-12-10T19:08:00.001+05:30

So, I guess I have to start saying something. There's this thing called the Schrödinger's Cat. I am not sure if you have heard of it, unless of course you are jobless enough to watch The Big Bang Theory. Anyway, My point is, well, that I am really confused. And this is where I start writing. To give you a head's up to what I am implying, let's go over my past life in the brief-est way possible.

I am single for more than 3 weeks for the first time since my 17th birthday.

Yeah, so that's about it. Of course, There is an asshole paradox going around on the other side which has these 3 girls(evil -exes) and their friends involved, but then who doesn't have friends. I regret to point out that all this while the 3rd girl has not got over the fact, and she thinks sending me an occasional text would change things/give me a stroke or something like that. But then the world of the female brain is always alien to a person with a wiener, even if we think we have mastered them, I must tell you, you are not even close. Anyway, I think I should make a point here about our mind though. When I say its over, Its over. Stop bothering me.

Well, now that part's over, let's get on with the point of this write-up. I've been single for..holy smokes!! 3 months!! whoa, I didn't recognize that. and I must say since this has been my first patch of life since 17 that I had to give no shit to anyone, and I conclude I enjoyed every last second of it.

But here's the deal. I smell the end of my apparent freedom is close.

And for the first time in my life since puberty, I am confused due to the fairer sex. It's the aforementioned Cat hypothesis. Should I risk it for a very awesome friend I will lose if this doesn't work out well?

Sigh.

2010-11-26T07:01:00.000+05:30

There are times when you want to let go of a lot of things. Then there are times when you don't want things to go from you, but then it goes. The feeling of losing something can neither be balanced, nor substituted. But then these things happen I guess. This world is a weird place. There is very little that is separating reality from its alter that each and everyone creates. This world exists in a pack on parallel universes, every thing that chances leads to one outcome, while at the same time, such a thing not happening may lead to another outcome. That may lead to many more things. And that is how parallel worlds are created. An when in a set of infinite such universes so generated, an indefinite amount of them will have me losing that object in consideration, while at the same time, another indefinite set will have me not losing it. this is definitely not an excuse to move on with life, but it sure can contribute to it.

Stairway to Heaven.

2010-10-07T04:04:00.001+05:30

then...

It does not work that way anymore. Taking control has been the order of the day. Sometimes you are in a situation where everything else closes upon you. Feeling incomplete then, is supplementary, yet unavoidable. But that is the right time you need to take control of life. And this is me, taking control of my life.

The last few months in my life have been very decisive for me. Yet, confusing. Too much drama, too many decisions, it was a gust of all that was evil and good in me all at once. They say you always need to figure out who you are, all by yourself. Maybe this is me, figuring out what I am. Who I am…

From the age of 17, I have not been single. I’m 20, and this is my first time. And I feel good about it. Maybe the break was much needed; maybe I never got what I wanted… The ladies got what they wanted… Me. ;)

Seriously, being a Loyolite helps. You can mind-fuck your way up anything… Get whatever you want. But then at times, you have to be considerate, generous, and loving. I was brought up in that school for 13 years with some 50 other mind-fuckers. And I had a time of my life there. And I thought I was the only one. It was only later, that you realize, every one of them, are as well. It really feels good to be united at that point. Especially when you know there are far powerful ones in the pack… Level 5 maybe. I’m Level 4, graduated 3 months ago from Level 3, thanks to certain jackasses I had to outsmart. But with great power comes great responsibility, and I saw many of them go to the dark side of the Force.

To be honest, I went there. I was the frigging Darth Vader at a time to be more precise. Loner, Introvert, and always dating… What did you expect? The way I racked my brains, I made people around me make me feel important... the way I made my women do whatever I want, whenever I want, with her thinking she was controlling me. It was a pleasure watching my own work, my plan being carried out step by step, just like that.

And then it all changed…

***

now...

The Feeling is Awesome.

I thought I had friends… till then I met them. A handful of people, who changed my life. The others felt like legal documents, and I found myself holding on to them, but they changed it all. I let go, and I found peace. Happiness. Love. Caring. I cannot describe them as gods, as I do not believe in that concept, but if there is anything that is making me feel alive, it’s them. I’m the same guy alright, that would change, what changed was the control. Instead of controlling the life of others around me, I have, for the first time, started controlling my own life. And it feels good.

The First step was to remove the trash. Mind-fucks were moved to a vault, drawn a line, something metaphorically similar to Laxman-Rekha, but since I aint as frigging dumb as Ram, it’s like a two-way no entry type one. There should be only one mind-fucker operating at a time. Others can either fuck off, or keep a distance, or well, can remain to be my friends. But then, This time I took control, I chose. And that’s the story of facebook.

Second Step. Removing Emotional Jargon. I never wanted her to control me. Unfortunately, even with all this power, there was this Love you know, it blinded my judgment. Soon I found out she was running my show. She had to Go. So I made her Go. That’s the story of my Newfound Freedom. Trust me; every frigging guy has to go through this. Long term relationship, and then singledom. Its heaven, but you have to make sure you don’t have Baggage. Now that’s your job.

Third Step was… well… starting to think for myself. When you think for others, you are doing service. It basically gets you to fuck up most of your as well as others’ lives. When you think for yourself, you start loving your dearest ones. Family, Friends, it all starts to make sense all of a sudden. The feeling is beautiful; you start to feel alive, like never before. At some point of time, you might have thought that solitude was the answer to all this, yet couldn’t enjoy it. You become an entertainment to yourself. Life becomes plain, meaningless, and Boring. But when you start thinking of yourself, things change. You start loving and caring for people. For your Friends. And that feeling is wonderful. All you have to do, is let go…

And that is when YOU LIVE, and LET LIVE.

Take Control of your Self. You may just live better. And much Alive. For that you have to Let Go.

It is very normal for anyone to sense a God-complex in me when you read this. Trust me, even I felt it. But it is not. I just concluded what happened in my life. Sharing to you, was one purpose of this blog anyway. The other one was to get comments, counter them, and derive sadistic satisfaction from them. But keeping all that aside. It feels good to be back on Blogosphere. And with that "Bloggers Block" is Bye Bye. I'm back beeyotches! \m/

***

" Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure. "

~ I-rather-not-mention-the-Author.

***

Now Playing : Pink Floyd - Green is the Colour.

Heresy.

2010-07-25T06:37:00.008+05:30

Wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy, and gluttony. The Seven Sins, the basis of all human faith.

It has always been seen as total blasphemy for the ones who sink themselves into these seven. But come to think of it, they are the reason why everything exists. It is like life itself surrounds these seven to make what you all call, the Divine thing. And it all starts from there.

***

Clouds of knowledge burst before my eyes. As I stood by the gate, all I could wonder was what the other side of it held. It was so exotic. There was always something intriguingly mysterious about the whole ordeal. But the experience enough was expected to be dreaded. And then, all I could do was pray. Pray, what a verb that is. But that day, something happened, something that should have chanced long time back. And soon, I was labelled blasphemer. And all I did was redirect my faith, to greater things.

So why, after being born to a pious Hindu family, Why?

I somehow do not feel the need to answer it.

After being labelled as a pretender of things for too long, all I ask is: Who did I pretend to be? Me? Why is there so much hate when I do things that were well beyond the imagination of weak souls like them. And how dare they prejudge me like this? The feel to kill someone is slowly building up as we speak.

You may blame comics or whatever you people think are reasons for blasphemous statements these days, but I truly believe in the concept of alternate worlds. It is like... the world consists of Boolean constants, and variables. And for each argument, there can exist two answers, and thus two different worlds, as a result of two different and opposite choices, are generated. And the arguments are endless, and so are the worlds.

And I believe, the one choice that generated the first worlds can be labelled the Mother. And there is where you find all the answers. Blind Faith will take you nowhere.

***

Now, there's this thing. The one binding force, the ultimate one, that somehow, very elegantly and expertly binds everything together. The seven sins, this world, the very many worlds, and everything. I call it the ultimate power, and the one who holds the key to it can change the course of life, and decide for him/herself what choices he has to make. This world resides on that power. You call it love.

And it is this that it all converge into, and diverge from.

***

I seriously do not have the slightest clue of why I wrote this. But when I woke up early morning today, I was possessed. Possessed by an idea. And that idea has just begun to sprout out of my grey matter. And these are just signs... Signs of bigger things to chance.

***

Now Playing: AC/DC - Back in Black.

Pic Courtesy: Archechi <3

Sister.

2010-06-20T23:53:00.004+05:30

Twenty years.

A couple of girlfriends, a few other crushes, and lost love. Then you come to a point where you are settled. There, at that point, where you are at ease with yourself and everything around you, you look for what had chanced so that you are so today. And for a guy, a boy, like me. I see my sisters.

I was born. Then my mom gave birth to my sibling. My brother. He has his importance in my life. But so do my sisters. I do not have what you call "blood-related"/"direct" sisters. But, all I know is, I have sisters. There has always been controversies surrounding this topic, most of which end up like "oh look, she made him her brother so that he wont 'hit' on her". Smart move ladies. :D To be frank, I've had characters in my life who did just that. But I actually made them resign. Yes, resign is the word for it. They got smart and made it their job, so I just guaranteed they did their sister-part, which they obviously didn't, and so I had to fire them, and they had to go jobless, brother-less, and with a slight guilty conscience all at the same time. I do not even remember their faces now.

And that is when a few beautiful ladies came into my life. They are a handful in number, and the funny thing is, none is even remotely similar to the other. Dancer, Geek, Artist, Singer, Fashion Designer, Guitarist, A wit-wizard, Full-time Mom or just plain Cool, you name it, its all them. And its always fun to have them around. Kickass fun. It just opens up so much of difference and complexities of life, these people, that I get a taste of everything in life. And I cant even write a full-post on them. It would be like writing a significant part of my life, my emotional life, the one that has all the good things, the ones in which I feel a brother inside me, growing, and maturing, and feeling the pure love each one of them has for me. And so, On this father's day, I dedicate this post to my loving siblings. Muah.

Long time ago, there was a boy, then you came along. He grew, and became a man, and you were there. Different bodies, different smiles, different attitude, but they were all you. It was the same love. It still is the same love. I cannot split my love to how you reach me, I can only multiply it, and my dear sister, that is how I love you.

Many have asked me. Why do you make everyone my sister? Do I? All I do is, I make my sister everyone I love. :) I do not expect anyone to understand this, nor do I have the need to do so. But I am certain that my love would have been real boring without you my dear sister.

The definition of the word SISTER as per Merriam-Webster Dictionary:

Pronunciation: \ˈsis-tər\

Function: noun

Etymology: Middle English suster, sister, partly from Old English sweostor and partly from Old Norse systir sister; akin to Latin soror sister, Sanskrit svasṛ

1 : a female who has one or both parents in common with another
2 often capitalized a : a member of a women's religious order (as of nuns or deaconesses); especially :one of a Roman Catholic congregation under simple vows b : a girl or woman who is a member of a Christian church
3 a : a girl or woman regarded as a comrade b : a girl or woman who shares with another a common national or racial origin; especially : a black girl or woman
4 : one that is closely similar to or associated with another
5 chiefly British : nurse
6 a : girl, woman b : person —usually used in the phrase weak sister
7 : a member of a sorority

Yeah, I have been going through these 7 definitions for some time now, and all I can say is, No man can truly find the definition to what the term sister is. He only can find who his sister is. And that is the beauty of it.

***

From Shakespeare's Hamlet, 1602:

LAERTES:
Lay her i' the earth:
And from her fair and unpolluted flesh
May violets spring! I tell thee, churlish priest,
A ministering angel shall my sister be,
When thou liest howling.

***

Girl Next Door.

2010-04-03T08:30:00.000+05:30

I’ve always wondered what a person could do to himself to find what his life holds for him… and then pondered over the very existence of the importance of such a query, but the last few weeks have been so eventful that I (almost) found out the answer to this question with me as the subject. It was in the form of new friends, and the relationship that was bridging all around me. And at some point of time, I found out the value of friendship. As you may have already guessed, putting down the very exact feeling on a post is harder than anything (for me). It is like I’m trying to write a book that’ll make others learn swimming by just reading it. So let’s just crap that and go straight what to the post head told you (and even prompted you to read this in the first case)

I have this rather cute neighbor of mine, a pretty gorgeous chick, my age, and probably my first crush, but due to reasons unknown, we became rather very good friends than what we expected us to become. Anyway, she got herself into a college 2.5 hours from her place, and I got myself into a shithole 3.5 hours away. But my shithole closes every weekend, so I run back home so that I can party off my weekends. But it’s not the same case with her. Unfortunately, her college, supposedly run by an IQ 100+ person (and named after that person as well) gives teachers paychecks in accordance to the hours they teach, and thus has resulted in classes from 9 am to 10 pm, and special classes on Saturdays and even Sundays. And since it happened to be a deemed university, she won’t see the light unless it’s Easter, Christmas, Onam, or maybe that IQ100+ person’s birthday celebrations.

The point. This girl is one of the most passionate dancers I’ve ever seen. She did a “Dolare dolare” gig (yep, the Devdas Madhuri-Ash gig) in 7^th grade, under my mom’s guidance, and needless to say, I was pretty much impressed by it. Moreover, she compeers like awesome, did that for her school most of the time. Unfortunately, she can’t pursue her passions because of her 7-day college week. I other words, she is, as you can say, stuck. And the same reason even made her think what she did in college is paramount, which as we all know, is not.

We had a pretty long chat yesterday on all this, and I had to put in references to Binny VA, Hari Shanker R, Srijith V, Sidharth Vijayan, and even Archana Unny, to make her realize(or at-least point her to) the fact that she can do much more with her life, by just thinking about herself, and what she can do, for just half an hour, each day. Hope that settles it. J Thought it would be better if I log this on my page, hence the post.

So long suckers! :P

Ciao.

Now Playing : Broken - MotherJane

Two.

2010-03-14T05:35:00.000+05:30

Yep, And we are back in business. :)

***

There are times in life when you find that you've totally lost it, but then again, like every other kahani we make up, ours is also full of unexpected twists n turns. Just as you stomp yourself into deeper caverns, something comes up. you can call it, guardian angel maybe, Maybe thats just how life truly is. You dont know how it happens, but it just happens. Now lemme get straight to the point. I came across one of my long lost friends today on gtalk. We might have chatted a bit then n there, bt today, we both were kinda free, so we decided, well, maybe chat a bit, a lil bit, but then it it went awfully long, 5 hours to be precise. And then I realised. I missed a huge part of life from my memory. I need it back, I so badly want it back. Help!!

And I found out I was a bugger from the very beginning off my life. My lil brother and I used to tease her to the very limit of well... teasing. And look at her now, theeyil valarnavar, veyilatthu vaadarilla goes the saying no? (If its not, then I take its ownership, thank you)

Now the point in question: WHERE DID MY MEMORY GO? Why cant I recall the best years in my life? Why is everything just a blank screen? Why?

The last few months have been the best of my life (that I remember). Ashwin, Sadu bhai, Sujith bhai, Sajan bhai, Srijith bhai, Vidya chechi, their friend's circle, Sruthi, her friend's circle, and people who I have met long time back but mutually ignored each other, and a hell lot of others, became friends, my friends. Life is all so beautiful now. It isn't that one-in-fifty anymore. Sriram, Rahul - evanmaar ennum kaanum. "allelum oravishyam varumbo evanmarokke kaanu" Everyone keeps recognizing me at places, and I too am trying n keeping up. I feel all special now. And happy. There was a time I stood like a post at every event, and nowadays, I don't even find time to cover up to all my buddies I meet. And then, there is this girl, with whom I used to play with in my toddler-to-kindergarten years, who comes up and rakes all the memories, which, unfortunately, is disturbing for me, since I can't even remember even a lil bit of it. Sigh!

And yet, when I traveled some 15-17 hours in a super-fast express train, to meet her(the idea was to catch up with a lot of buggers, and she was on the list too.), she was all jumpy and fun, and so huge with her responsibilities, that I felt good to be her friend in her smally smally years. :D Anyway, it was worth the attendance shortage I'm facing now. At least I happened to head-bang the closest to the stage on a heavy metal concert. :)) \m/

So thats about it. :)
caio.

***

image courtesy: http://www.toothpastefordinner.com , http://www.tripadvisor.com

***

Now Playing: Motherjane - Maktub

Before I Dust.

2010-01-14T23:39:00.014+05:30

Today I felt my life drifting away from me, and that feeling is precisely what has forced me to write this piece. I've lived nineteen years and some seven months, but today, I felt there was something truly missing in my life. Some feeling had me by the balls you can say. And so it goes. Before that I would like to dedicate this all the people who have affected my life.

∞My parents. I love you both. :)

∞My lil brother Niketh. I dont know what I would have done without you champ.

∞My kunjammas: Geetha n Jalaja, and my uncles: Udayan, Santosh, and Saju.

∞My first ever friend Vipin. I cant believe we landed in the same class for more than 15 years! :) Whatever I did, I meant it bro.

∞Abhiram & Raees. You guys had my back covered throughout junior school. Missing you jackasses.

∞Ranjeet. I guess I was the first one to make you cry at school. I remember beating the hell out of you till you cried. And I so hated it when you did all those higher class math problems to feel better. But then Now look where you are man! :) (I know you are tired of the fact that I go on to tell everyone how close we are, when we are..err...not. But then thats just me, sorry brother. :P)

∞Syamnath. Macha. I Respect.

∞Sriram. I guess we have sat on the same bench more than anyone in our class. And all those debates we had, all those discussions... Sorry for calling you dexter bro.

∞Arjun. Aliya, I guess I've always tried to be your best pal since KG. Somehow, my mom really liked you. And the fact that We are now, is :).

Any of you fuckers remember the Dollar/Police-Kallan thing we used to play on the football ground?

∞Ann ma'am. You are my first favourite teacher. :)

∞Govind, Ronnie. Come senior school, you guys taught me to swear. :D

∞Manoj, Gautham. And you guys not to. :P

∞And the rest of you 47 fuckers, you've made me. :)

∞Tushar and Joshua. Something tells me I've done a lot of good things just because of you both. Don't ask.

∞Narendran. :)

∞Elizabeth ma'am, Maithri ma'am, Murray ma'am, Soni ma'am n Deepa ma'am. :)

∞Komu, Gejo, Nandu, Sidharth, Vijeesh, Vineesh, Achin, Sikhil, Akshay, Guru, Prolok.

∞Naveen and Sreedeep. Hari, Kishor, Mishel, Avinesh, Sasi.

∞Patri, Antony, Mrinal, Danny, Georgie, Thomas, Arjun C, BS, Dappu, pinne vereyaara....

I guess That's school. :) No I didnt miss anyone, It's just that I was too lazy to type you in. If you dont find your name here, enne thanthaykku vilichittu include yourself in. :))

Now over to some ladies...

∞That sweet lady who took care of me some day when i wasn't even in my walking age. :) Sorry I dont recall your name. :(

∞Anusree. My first crush. You still look good in orange dear. I'm glad we didnt date btw, nor talk :P

∞Arathy. You came to me as the real good friend you are. And no I didn't make that up. I just didn't oppose any of that, athreyullu. Sorry for the swearing btw. You have taught me a lot about life. :)

∞Namitha. You took me from a disaster and made me realize how good I can be. And taught me how to handle pain. Sorry for the FB deletion. It was just my self respect playing.

∞Asha. You are always the sweet dear friend you are. :)

∞Gouri. I dont know. You are one real kickass sister!!! <3

∞Lekshmi. My sabse chotti nanhisi pyaarisi behna. <3

∞Deepika. my badi behna, eppozhum ee aniyane nannakkan nadakkum. <3

∞Greeshma. Enikkilathey poya ente punnara chechi. <3

∞Aswathy. Enno ente kalikkootukaari. Ippol ente nalla kootukaari. She might have affected my life in some way or the other. :))

∞Deepthi, Anita, Merlyn, Mythily, Sama, Veda, Sruthi, Anjali. :) I dont know why, but yes, we have shared a lot of ideas I suppose. Some maybe a lil less, but I cant avoid you, can I? :P

And some blokes....

∞Aditya, Mohi, Anandakrishnan, Deepal, Joshan, Dean. For teaching me all the Ten dimensions, and more.

∞Harikrishnan, Nibu, Anu bhai, Rohit bhai, Vineeth bhai, Nujma chechi, Nandu bhai, Maamachan, Hari Shanker bhai.

∞And the people who I am so looking forward to meet as well. Prathik, Ivan chettan, Ashwin, Vidya chechi, Totallie Meh, Anjali chechi, Kuttyedathi, Srijith chettan, Rasika, n the rest of the fire brigade. :)

∞And ofcourse, my wife, my love, my kettiyol. Vee. <3>

******

YES IT IS A SMALL WORLD, PEOPLE.

Now there can be two very sane arguments that can arise in your grey matters after scrolling down such a small list. Its either: Oh, this guy had friends? or it is: What, only this many?

To the people who have the second query: No, there are more. But I just cant type em all in. (Too Lazy) Like I said earlier, Randu pachcha therivilichittu, induct yourself in. :)

And to those who have the former thing in mind. Apart from the few I have mentioned, you must be (most probably ) from my college class. All I have to say is: I dont know what you mothafuckers think of yourselves. And I dont want to fucking sympathy, nor your bullshit. I came there because I had to, bitches. And I'll be gone in two fuckin years.

***

some time back, i was driving from a friend's place to my home. but then something was making me uneasy, i couldn't focus on the road, and i didnt find out what it was but then, i felt like, you know, it was fear, fear for something i didnt know it existed. its hard to explain. just like the reason of my typing this in italics.

But then at the end of all this, I just feel happy as I've mentioned (almost) all who have affected my life. Now I can sleep well. Ciao.

The End.

(sorry for the bullshit post, but I really feel good now. really)

Now Playing: Porcupine Tree-Lazarus.

Two thousand and Nine.

2009-12-30T09:41:00.004+05:30

One long year. Boy, I'm just glad its over. Now you must be wondering why? And expecting some crappy paragraph you can read and relate and touch-yourself-at-night on. But I aint gonna give you that privilege. You are here, and so you shall pay. Buahaha! :P

Aah, so, where were we? Yeah, about the year. To cut a 365 day long story short, here it is:

Lost a lot of my new friends, old friendships still concrete.
Learned some Civil Engineering, found out what lust meant.
Dated a swimmer chick. Got proposed. Thought that was "it".
Got cheated upon.
Broke my heart, mended it, and found love.
And by "found love", I mean I really found it.
Tweeted like hell, met up with fellow tweeps. New buddies.
Got drunk. Passed out. Got drunk. Danced. Got drunk. Slept.
Saw a galactic number of movies. 4/month at cinema halls alone.
Played farmville, ate, slept, etc

So, thats about it.

This year has brought me nothing but pure bullshit. I'm just hoping the bull gets its ass jammed next year. I mean, seriously! It's only when October came, I found myself happy again. I dated like hell, found happiness, found love, got back to my dear old buddies, and most of all, got back to my "kalikoottukari", after some odd 12 years. :)

Sorry, But I dont feel like writing anything right now. Something has been troubling me for the past few days. I hoe I'll find out what this is. I know this is by far one of my most pointless n crappy posts, but then, to think of it, I'm writing about the most royally fucked up year of my life. :(

RocknRolla

2009-12-10T12:48:00.003+05:30

No, this has nothing to do with me or my college. But then it has a lot to do about my friends, and me, in particular. After all, it’s not every day that I write something up. And even if I do, I crap all the time. I’ve lived 19 years, and some odd 7 more months, some days, n bla bla hours, seconds et cetera et cetera. I’ve had friends. Most of them still have. There were people who were pissed at me, people who hated me, and people who wanted me dead. But then, there were the ones who loved me too. So I guess it was a pretty normal life so far. I’ve pretty much done most of what a normal 19 year old does. I’ve topped classes, I’ve flunked a hell lot of tests, I’ve been a teacher’s pet, and I’ve kicked one in the ass, I’ve been good, I’ve been bad. I’ve resisted urges like smoking, but I’ve got drunk on the beach. I’ve ordered hits, I’ve been in fights, I’ve won, I’ve lost, I’ve even landed in hospital for that. I’ve got busted, yet I still have the good boy tag, I’ve broken a few laws, followed a few. Now you may be thinking I’m a fucking narcissist. You may be thinking why the fuck are you even reading this shit. It’s simple. The answer is so simple as doggy-poop. Its layers. Everyone has layers.

All you see in me is not me, but just one part of me, a layer, that use to satisfy most of the buggers around me. It’s just a layer, cos I can’t go to bed at night thinking like what my layer would think, and that would be so fucking boring. Now, those who might know me in real life would have noticed. Very few people hang out with me. But then have anyone ever stopped to think why we hang out, and you never talk to me? I’ll explain. Basically, one look at me, I’m your average loser, and you are miles ahead of me, so you don’t want to. But then you pause wait, maybe I’ll just meet him. Then you find out he’s not that bad, he’s just another guy who loves to headbang. Our interests meet at times, sometimes it collides. But you always have that urge to outsmart him, and to your surprise, you do. But he is a sarcastic cockass, and you don’t like that smart mouth of his degenerating your “image”, what do you do? You start scheming. Note the point that that he is not even affecting you in anyway, but you just want him to learn a lesson. So you stoop down to any level to have him shit in his pants. With the right planning n execution, you pull it off quite smoothly, you feel a sudden orgasm, he doesn’t figure it out its you who did all this, and you are all back to “Oh, What happened bro… Need a hand” shit. But what you don’t know is what he really thinks. If you thought you were all that smart think again. He may not be as smart as you, but he can think, you dumbass. He had started reading you the day you met him. He saw all that coming from day 1 itself. But did he expect it. No, he didn’t. See, that’s the thing with people like him. They don’t expect things like things will happen. They know things like this can happen, they know they are trusting the wrong people. Its just that they don’t want to think about them being fucked with. It hurts in the end, but then he gets to know how low you are, and that’s it. They wont have any complaints, nothing. All they’ll do is, if not, help you again, even after the mothafucking shit you threw at him. See that’s how some people are. They see you, and they can see you all the way to your sick fuck heart n mind, but they don’t do the mistake you did. They do not underestimate you. They know you are capable of doing stuff, and they appreciate you. To tell you the truth people like them only care about themselves, they are ready to help, but that’s because they get a kind of satisfaction from it… co, at the end of the day, whatever they do, all the care is that they can sleep in peace. They’ll do anything to restore that peace, and they will.

Now Playing: I am a Man - Black Strobe

To a new.

2009-10-28T10:01:00.002+05:30

Well, it’s been a while I wrote something up, right?

The past month n a half had been the most eventful one for me this year. I don’t know how it all came up, but last month a lot of things just happened, thats all. To begin with, I found out that I wasn’t political at all… which was so clear from my college election ballet paper, which was painted something close to tan(red+blue)…then I found out that most girls are just girls, and nothing beyond that. I somehow ended an on-off relationship with a med student in a pretty vague way, so I just ain’t getting the words to express it. But then I finally figured it out that everyone has a place in this world. and that even I have a place for myself in here. My own niche. Somehow I feared it didn’t exist. But then now I am out of worry ‘coz in the last few months, I’ve learned that my zone does exist, that too in flesh n blood. The people I love are giving me a hard time now tough… I have to cater to everyone… and I didn’t know I had so many 'everyones' to tend to. People are just people. Indifferent, lame, mostly lazy, non-idle and yet so selflessly selfish. So was I told, and so I believed. I care for myself, ( nb: I didn’t use the word “only”)… that was the tag I got from almost anyplace I went to. Well, come on, life’s one big party! after all, we only grow up once. Well, at least that is, if you don’t believe in reincarnations n shit… and even if there exists such things, I want to be born as a fish, a whale, or an eagle, or just a totally stoned las Vegas strip club manager!

And I can’t still believe the fact that a girl i loved n cared for actually fancied me. I’ve always wondered what was going wrong in all my relationships… and now I found out the answer. That very girl, she despised each n everyone of my ex-es and what do you know… she was clearly better, in a way. And I was the dumbfuck who never saw what was in front of me, and went in search for greener patches n holes. And yeah one more thing, my article got itself mysteriously published in the college mag. And I’m getting kinds good reviews as well…

Point is, I still don’t have an idea of where I’ll end up n how. But then I am happy now. And I’ll make sure it stays so. =)

Now playing: Porcupine Tree – Normal

At the Epitome of Joblessness...

2009-09-19T07:36:00.005+05:30

Well, this time around, things are slighty looking up, I would say... except for the fact that I'm wasting most of my time... one way or the other... Hop you understand my feelings... If not, here's a snap of my FB profile... that'll give you the 100 words I'm too lazy to type down I guess... :D

Hope you got the point.

Now Playing: Whatever ZEEST I have.. :D

Jargon, Friends, n the rest...

2009-09-12T07:40:00.002+05:30

It’s been a year now. And I am a senior (duh!). It’s kinda hard to catch up with life, when it is running away from you, isn’t it? But for what its worth, it pays off. In this quest for lasting bonds n friends who look after you, and keep your bum in the right place, you get to brush with things you never thought you will. Not to mentions the ones that lead to a distance between the best n best of pals. I have a handful of very good friends, and yes, most of them are girls. :|

Out of the lot, two or three stand out as closer ones. They know who I am, what I like, when to get mad at me, when to say, “You are full of shit, you know that!” straight to my face, et cetera et cetera… And there’s this underlying trust we establish between us over the course of time, that binds us even closer. The major point is, we look after each others' back, n are there for each other when one of us get into deep shit (or not!).

But then, in all this crap, things get hard when you knowingly or unknowingly hurt some, or at least one of them real bad. You fail their expectations and screw up big time, and tadah! There’s a fucking brick-wall between us that keeps on increasing its plan width by the minute.But things get totally fucked up when you do it unknowingly, and fail to realize it, until one fine day, you see that person, totally isolated from you. And by that time, it would have been so very late. And it’s when you lose one, do you get to know how important they were to you, and how they played their part in making you what you are. An entity is never an identity until someone else realize it. You can get all narcissistic about it, but what is true…is well…true! :|

College life has shaped itself into a totally different phase of my life. And it is way better than what it used to be last year. The only thing that pains is that there are more judges of talk who claim to be those of character than the reverse. And I guess, we’ll need an I.V. or a trip or something to settle that, hopefully...

Now Playing: Lamb of God - The Passing \m/

Yes Three!

2009-09-02T22:04:00.003+05:30

Oh well, There was a time I use to think... "What's the worse that could happen?" Just like they did in The Incredibles and just like how the whole thing goes in the film, things get worse n worse. But not now. Atleast for the time being, I guess.

S-One happened, then S-Two. Now, its finally S-Three, and I still can't get myself to think that It's finally been One year since I started my college life. Today's Thiruvonam, and the 2nd of September. Last year, this same day, I was filling up my Admission forms for College at Kottayam. today, I'm having 3 glasses of red wine, laying back on my chair, and typing this shit out for no reason other than the fact that I've not uploaded anything to my-this-blog for a real long time.

The name "Rep/Reppayi/PaRep" remains, n ppl still know there's someone in Civil Engineering who goes by that name, as swift as the wind, fighting crime, et cetera, et cetera, a Legend... :D

And then there's me, The official show-off bug of S3 civil. Little do anyone know, they both are the one n the same. :P

Btw, I'll keep updating my Primary blog..do check it out at times.. :))

Peace. \m/

Now Listening to: God Gave Rock n Roll to you.

Well, Now that I just can't bear to leave this post like like that, I'll add a tag.

Its simple. Pick up an artist, fill up with answers only useng the name of songs from that Artist. Rest you'll figure out, I guess. So here goes nothing.

Pick your Artist:
Guns N' Roses

Are you male or female?
Welcome to the Jungle

Describe yourself:
Catcher In The Rye

How do you feel?
Reckless Life

Describe where you currently live:
Estranged

If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Paradise City

Your favourite form of transportation:
Rocket Queen

Your best friend is:
Knockin' on Heaven's Door

Your favourite colour is:
Black Leather

What's the weather like?
Dust In The Wind Kansas

If your life was a TV show, it would be called:
Sympathy for the Devil

What is life to you:
Ain't It Fun

Current Relationship:
This I Love

Marriage:
Don't Cry

Looking for:
November Rain

Wouldn't mind:
Feeling This

Your Fear:
Since I Don't Have You

What is the best advice you have to give:
Civil War

If you could change your name, you'd change it to:
Hair of the Dog

Thought for the Day:
You Could Be Mine

How I would like to die:
Anything Goes

My motto:
Live and Let Die

Happy now? I now tag Vipin, Sriram, Guru, Hari bhai, Jennie. Can't believe I got drunk on Non-alcoholic shit. Ohkay, I'll stop now. :|

Reasoning?

2009-08-22T11:06:00.003+05:30

Well, there are times when you wonder about the fact that you are where you are… I mean, come on! Are you even supposed to be here? Searching for a reason to satisfy yourself has come to be so common nowadays, that the only thing people are hanging to is that, a reason, which justifies or tends to justify their stand. But then, for once, get out of that self-entrapping web of yours, and look from the outside, from a neutral’s point of view, and you will find how insignificant significance itself is.

I landed in this college, and why I did it, I made up my own reasons:

I thought I would never get in through KEEE.
I was so (over)confident I would crack the AIEEE n get my ass safe n sound into an NIT.
I was an arrogant shithead, who paid the price.
I just wanted to be away from home, yet closer.

Yeah, those are the reasons I came up with. But then, now when I look at those things I put forward to console myself n my so-elevated self-esteem, I think, was it worth it after all?

To be, now that I’ve landed I the second best Govt. Engineering College in Kerala, might as well be satisfied by that fact, and just live my life as it opens up to be gradually with full of upsetting yet true surprises, showing you your place in this world. But then, those who know me also know the fact that I am not a person who accepts my own destiny just like that. I love changing it. Maybe, I’m putting myself, or my future, or even worse, my well being at risk… But then I love taking that risk. ‘Coz at the end of the day, I hate being left out, I hate it when I’m not important. And I hate it when I am ignored.

But then, now I am having fun at college, and yeah, it’s totally relative, and its my idea of Fun. With almost the whole class labeling me as the arrogant outta-control chap who really needs therapy sessions, I think I’m pretty enjoying my position. J And on top of that, I have my two dear sisters with me there. I think It’s safe to say I’m living a satisfied life, for now. But then I think I’ll disappear one fine day, get up at a place some 11-12 train hours from here. Til then, I guess I have to be quiet under the radar. :P

Oh Great!

2009-07-20T06:46:00.008+05:30

Ohkay!, So It's my last day in tvm...again. :-|

Well...

Hmm...

Aah! Now I remember...

Yeah, So I am planning this whole thing for my college this year, now that we have a new HOD n all... aah, forget it! it's just not worth the effort...

but then...

see...see.... If I say more, I'll end up in a dysfunction it seems... :-|

k.. I need a break now...

***

♫♫ Now Playing: Megadeth- Hanger18 ♫♫

♫♫ Next Up: GnR - Paradise City ♫♫

Creeple.

2009-06-26T07:53:00.003+05:30

Ahh. Just two weeks into NOT going to that damn place has its benefits... Nike says I'm less vengeful now, which is absolutely normal, considering the fact that I return home every weekend from college like I'm starving for blood.

Besides the fact that I'm pissed off at each and every one of the 60 something jackasses for not remembering my birthday...(Yeah, its a serious thing here, considering the fact that they remembered every others' while recording em in a register n giving surprise parties to them), while each and almost every one of my dear old buddies called me up or text me that day.

Now you may have all figured out I'm NOT the popular dude at college... I could be :D, but I chose not to be. After all, it's simply not worth it. ;)

Unlike the prejudgment of a college a boy possesses, this college makes it sure you regret even putting it up on that allotment form. And boy, oh boy, I'm sure to get stoned next year by my seniors, if better, my own classmates, for some reason exclusive to Kerala northies which I'm seriously unaware of till now... yep...no clue at all.

First of all I'm total at exact Trivandrumite, I spent most of my first 4 years at Kollam... I hope now you get from where I inherited the slang... and still, if you saw you come from TVM somewhere in North Kerala, you're gone... completely!

It's really puzzles me that people at Kottayam are brought up to think its a metro, even bigger than Mumbai, when it doesn't even have a Corporation!!! It's still a fuckin municipality!

And you people know my nature, I always have an evil eye of finding faults, in the system, in every person, et cetara, et cetara, but the northies just can't stand it.

I was about to kill my older self at the time I started at this shit place, and was successful even, up to an extent at last, but then I thought of the people who were always with me, mom, dad, bro, behnas, everyone... they wanted the real me, and here I was, changing for some pack of losers to get to their good eye! I could have started drinking at any moment I wished to, and then go on to sleep on the football ground like those 5 celebrated beinchoths of the college, but I chose not to. Same goes for smoking. If restraining from that makes me a loser, then I'm better off being one.

Life has hit a lil harder on me, for the past 3 years. Maybe It was because of the reckless boy I was in my younger years. But then that was me.

I'm a person who is affected by people around me. People around me change me, so I do my best to stay away from what I chose not to become. And topped with all that, I have a really really bad temper, I impulsively change into something that even I dont even recognise. So I do my very best to get back home at weekends... even if it kills my wallet.

Still it seems I'll have to go next month or so to pay my fees in advance, and to confirm my admission to 3rd sem, which I'm really not looking forward to.

Sorry, but I just couldnt stop myself from writing this one up.

Face it!! while you still can...

2009-06-17T08:57:00.008+05:30

Ohkay... so since this is my college blog, I'll write up something about it now...finally..

Aah.
So.Paattum melavum thudangatte..!!

FIRST DAY AT COLLEGE
SoCalledCoolDude#1: Hey, My name is XYZ ZY Y, What is your name?
ME: Err... nitin.
SCD#1: jithin?
ME: No, Nitin...
SCD#1: oh, Nidhin.
ME: dude, its nitin, en-aiy-tee-aiy-en!
SCD#1: So, ni-tt-in! My rank is YZZX, What's your rank?
ME: :|

***

LATER...
Senior#1: Dae, what's your name?
ME: nitin...
S#2: What?
ME: nitin.
S#1: Tell me once more...
ME: nitin sj
S#2: full name asshole!
ME: :| nitin ESZZJAAY....
S#1: @#$%#@

***

AT THE ARTS FEST...
S#3: Dude, you must take part in all items...
Class: okay...
S#4: And, it is very important for our team Pallavi to win this year...
Class: aha *nods*
S#3: Yeah so will will tell you the list of offstage events now...
*goes on to blab the shit*
S#4: Then there is a program called college?
Class: aha*nods*
ME: wtf?
S#3: It is written c-o-l-l-a-g-e and pronounced KoLLaajj...
ME: oh, collage...
Class: *nods*
S#4: Its basically simple, they give you some magazines, you cut n paste them on a drawing sheet to look naaice..
Class: oh *nods*
ME: :|

***

HOSTEL...
SCD#2: Yeah, Lets sing rock!
ME: You people listen rock!! *Happy face*
SCD#3: *Comes out in a Black graphic tee, n jeans, complete with a wrist band with the marijuana logo... does the \m/...*
ME: Finally, civilization...!
SCD#2: "It starts with now... In the end it doesn't even matter...."
SCD#3: "....Larger than life! tu tudu tudutudu...hey...."
ME: wtf!!!
SCD#4: *jumps out from nowhere* "Its the Candy shop....!..."
ME: :|

***

WITH THE GIRLS...
ME: Hi da...
Girl#1: brr...
ME: Hey da Girl#2... Good Morning...
G#2: *looks around, and then gives me a deep stare*
ME: :(

later that day...G#3 who saw the whole incident approaches me when I am about to leave...
G#3: So, whats with the hey DA?
ME: What?
G#3: Why did you call them da earlier..?
ME: Who? *as if I kept a log of hi-s*
G#3: You know, G#1&2 today morning!!
ME: oh that... what of it?
G#3: Why can't you address them with a little respect??
ME: I did no? I spoke in the lowest volume pssible, in the kindest voice, with the nicest smile...
G#3: Still you called them DA!
ME: So, ... since we belong in the same class...
G#3: But its you. You listen Rock, you look strange, and you look as if you are the king of something!
ME: What!
G#3: You must act a lil more "decent"...
ME: What did I do? :o
G#3: Nothing, you wont understand...
ME: :|

another day, I'm standing near the cafeteria, the girls come...they don't see me there.
G#2: I think the tvm freak is into me...
G#1: No I think he is after me...
ME: :O

later... G#3 calls me...
G#3: Why are you after all this girls?? Why can't you be a naicce boy?
ME: Err... what? Who girls?
G#3: And why do you have to go after all of them...?
ME: ... what did I do now?
G#3: You send them Good morning messages, you say hi to them, what is this man? Can't you be decent? like SCD#5 and his gang or something...
ME: :|

***

note: That time I was recovering from something worse, and girls were of least concern... and SCD#5 and his gang, are a group of sick bastards who are so much into porno that most of em suffer from dysfunction, apart from the beer drinking puking sessions, and the smoking competitions...

***

YET ANOTHER...
*I go to college in my casuals, now that dreaded period of first year has come to an end*
SCD#6: Dai, ayye, it is a duplicate no?
ME: What?
SCD#6: You tee-shirt...
ME: Yeah whatever...
*SCD#6 comes over and checks the tag...*
SCD#6: Gosh! it's real. I never thought you would wear real stuff! And it doesnt look real as well...
ME: Why? can't I wear...?
SCD#6: na, its just that, its you...
ME: *sigh*
SCD#6: What!! don't sigh, don't be such a demo king! and you dont know how to swear in mallu? Why do you always saw 'fuck' when you want to swear?
ME: wtf!!! poda poorimone!
SCD#6: ayyo, entha. you sweared at me!!
ME: you were asking for it! and its SWORE!!
SCD#6: No wonder! you are freak! you go after girls, you listen to noise and call them songs, you dont watch porn with the other blokes, are you even human!
ME: Should I do all that to be human? :(
SCD#6: I'll leave, talking to you is a waste of time...
ME: :|

***

note: You guys know my vocabulary in both languages, right? And SCD#6 still thinks he's cool n shit, and whatever he says is the law. The only one who differs him in all ways possible, is me. So he has to show it off some day or the other.

***

NEXT...IN A GROUP DISCUSSION...
ME: So guys, lets discuss your pet peeve...
SCD#1: Well, I like cats..
G#1: Me too, but Kittens do better...
SCD#2: I have a dawg...
G#1: So what about you? You like them only at zoos?
ME: :| :| :| *sigh*

***

I'm just hoping the next batch wouldn't be as fucked up as this...
And yeah, I'm pretty sure I'll get a sure irruttadi the coming year, I can already see it coming...
Now you see why I said my college rocks...

oOooOoooOooo...Hutt!! Hutt!!

2009-06-12T08:13:00.001+05:30

yes. there won't be a trip to the jungle for a month. HahHaHHAHAHHHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHA!!! now back to slaughtering mundane beings...

I don't know to say the word. I admit.

2009-05-30T01:48:00.001+05:30

Is it because I loved someone too much? Maybe I don't know what true love is. But then why do I still feel happy when I give up something for her. But then I am always on the losing side. I lost her trust, her love. It pains. You may say it uncool and shit, but this is my life, Mine. Are you suggesting me to move on, and for what? To kill whatever was good in my life? Do you think moving on is possible for me. Yes. I am weak, because I have never felt this for a girl ever. And I stopped my serious blogging for her, but in the end, who lost it all? Me. And with what margin. I cannot just erase everything that is me. Kyunki duniya mey sirf ek hi se pyaar ho jaattha hey, aur usmehi Khudha dikthi hey. Now tell me, what should I do?

Merry Christmas BC MC FU!!

2009-05-16T22:09:00.002+05:30

To hell with it, for I have sinned. Today I complete my cycle of 19 years of organic differentially aerated life and enter the 20th year of it. I used to feel good on at least one day of the year. Now I don't. Today it didn't happen. Lets hope it doesn't ruin the rest, because Tomorrow will still be the first day of the rest of my life.