Jessica Marola-Hugh

Foodie Monday

2011-10-24T17:28:00.000-07:00

A new Obsession of mine is the search for Organic Wheat & Gluten free Products. Today my search took me to Walmart where I was actually quite surprised to find a small section of select products that fit all of the characteristics! I decided to give a few items a go and I am please to report that not only is Organic Wheat & Gluten free cracker products tastier, they are also lower in Calories, and higher in Nutrient density; GO FIGURE!

Mary's Organic Onion Crackers; Absolutely delicious! Not only does their boasting of Crispy, Rick and Satisfying in flavor hit the mark, but delightfully paired with my Homemade Hummus, AMAZING! My kids even dug in and were a little annoyed when I had to pry their hands off the box.

Calories: 140 per 13 Crackers
Fats / Polyunsaturated / Monounsaturated: 5g
Cholesterol: None!
Sodium: 190mg
Potassium: 190mg
Carbohydrates / Fiber: 21g
Protein: 3g

Lundberg Fiesta Lime Rice Chips; Nummy Goodness! Although the flavoring might not agree with some, I was happily surprised with the incredible crunch, zesty and wholesome texture. I would pair these with a cream or nut based dipping sauce, just to cut the zest.

Calories: 140 per 10 Crackers
Fats / Polyunsaturated / Monounsaturated: 7g
Cholesterol: None!
Sodium: 270mg
Carbohydrates / Fiber: 18g
Protein: 2g

Overall, I enjoyed the Mary's Organic Crackers the most, as the Lundberg Fiesta Lime was a little much on the sodium content. For the price and quality, I am sold on these MOCs for life! Oh, and if you want my Hummus recipe, let me know!

Be Who You Are, Be Loved

2011-08-04T09:04:00.000-07:00

I was reading my daily devotional today, and felt inspired to send you part of the excerpt that I found thought provoking. In a conversation recently, this same thing was said to me, and it’s begun to change the way I look at myself. We share so much information on Nutrition and Fitness in 90Days2Life, but when do we pay attention to both our Mental and Spiritual Health?

Did you know that You are each individually crafted to be “YOU”, yet, do you accept this fact? Do you Love “YOU”? I find that at times I criticize and cut myself down because I feel like I don’t measure up, do you do this too? You don’t have to be like everyone else, you don’t have to look like everyone else, or feel, or speak, or even act as someone else.

Learn to enjoy the vivacious, beautiful, inspirational, devoted, loving, creative, and daring YOU. Whether someone accepts you or not, well that’s their issue. They’re the one that’s going to miss out. Concentrate more on your beauty, appreciate it, and center yourself around people who are going to appreciate it too…

Paraphrased, “There is no one else in the whole wide world like you. I'm sure you’ve heard it before, but I wonder if you understand how true it is and how precious you are? We are not always treasured on this earth. Our relationships with our parents or friends or spouses can lead us to believe that we may be unique, but that it's not a good thing. So often we are encouraged to blend in, don't rock the boat, don't be different, but I say, rock that boat, and be who you are. When you hold back who you really are, we all miss out. So whether you are a pet nut like or a wordsmith, whether you like high heels or flip-flops, be who you really are. You have a voice and a style that is all your own. It has been given to you so that through you, a unique picture is seen.” – Pasty Clairmont

My girlfriend Sukhi made such a validating point a few days ago that I feel ties in nicely to the above, “We sometimes surround ourselves with people that need pouring into, and perhaps they have no idea how to give in return. We mold ourselves to accommodate their attitudes, values, lifestyles in order to draw closer to them – yet this alienates us from our own identity. We all need to take time to replenish ourselves, to be poured into, and to surround ourselves with people who validate and accept who we are…”

Loose the Weight and Keep it off...

2011-06-17T13:24:00.000-07:00

You want to loose weight but you don't quite know how to go about it? You suffer from headaches, hernia's, lack of sleep, or some type of health issue, but can't seem to overcome the problem? How do you essentially get healthy without having to get on these crazy diets? You want your body to fit into those size 7 Jeans, YES YOU DO! Have you ever asked yourself why that is? ..Or, maybe researched a few reasons why weight can be such a battle with many of us women folk?

One of the biggest challenges we face today is the fact that are foods have extremely low nutrient density. Let me explain, you're hungry and it's just a few hours until dinner so you decide you want a snack. You can choose either an apple or a Tim Horton's Muffin. Which one do you choose? The apple right? Why? Well, the apple has around 80 calories and lots of vitamins, fiber and phytochemicals that will keep you healthy. The fiber and water in the apple will fill your stomach and keep you satisfied until dinner. Yet how many of us actually do this?

The problem lies in the fact that in North America we've placed convenience and comfort as top priority. We've 'convenienced' ourselves into multiple patterns of poor health. Another problem is apparent in environmental factors which can play a ROLE strong in our Obesity issues. Sitting at a desk all day, in sedentary work conditions or lack of support from family and friends isn't going to get any of us healthy. The intense effects these conditions have on an our motivation is honestly often underestimated.

I've talked many times to friends and family about a little Product I take called Reveal. I promote it because I know it works, and because of the amazing changes it's created in people. I've also lost about 30lbs to date, and partly because of this amazing product...... Reveal is packed with a diversity of macro-, micro-, and phytonutrients! It's Nutrient Dense!

It helps you manage your weight in a healthy way. I take my shake mix at Breakfast and Lunch every day, I'll be doing this until I get to my ideal weight, and then I'll simply maintenance - along the same lines of what you'd do with exercise! I take Reveal because I know of what "convenience" has cause my health, and my family's health. Just yesterday, my mom told me that my dad may have some type of esophageal cancer, that's scary stuff! He's overweight; eating for convenience and hiatus hernia along with the acid reflux has caused scarring along his esophagus.... now he needs to go for treatment in Maryland to get this taken care of... I love my dad dearly, and I don't want to see him suffer, neither do I want to see this happen to you!

One of my goals this year is to help as many people to loose the weight, and also get them healthy and free. There is nothing worse than being sick, or of poor constitution, you miss out on so much in life! I'm currently working with a New Friend to help her also get back on track, and have hopes in not only giving her a chance at Total Transformation, but also helping others! If you truly want to change your life, loose weight, get healthy and happy, improve your self-esteem and fit into those size 7 Jeans, Reveal and Healthy eating - Nutrient Dense foods is the way to GO!

Ps. Coming out with the 90Days2Life Total Transformation handbook next week! See me for all the Exercises, Food Plan, Challenges and other amazing goodies! 3 more weeks until our 90 Day Challenge launches.. :-)

Checkout Caridad's Story: http://www.monaviervl.com/success-stories/success-stories/caridad-pond

Isaac and Tiffany's: http://www.monaviervl.com/success-stories/success-stories/isaac-and-tiffany-price ...

Heck, checkout the entire Success Story list: http://www.monaviervl.com/success-stories/success-stories

WATCH THIS VIDEO FOR MORE ON REVEAL!

Grow & Flourish

2011-06-06T15:57:00.000-07:00

WHAT AN AMAZING DAY OUTSIDE, are you ENJOYING it?!

Today "The Daily Love" really made me realize why it's so important to keep Changing, to keep Moving, and to keep Planting & Creating! Like many, you may at time find yourselves in a “RUT”.. You can’t seem to get out of it and nothing seems to make sense. You’ve placed your CHANGE on hold, or haven’t adapted to those things happening around you, so now you’re in a space that just doesn’t make much sense… OR you continue to fight the same battles instead of conquering and evolving to meet the challenges around you.

TDL - “Change is the nature of The Uni-verse. From season to season, change is how we grow and evolve. We are all in different seasons of our lives. Some of us are in the depth of a spiritual or emotional Winter. We are hibernating and going through a period of letting go. Some of us have passed through the Winter, let go of the old and have entered a Spring time season of rebirth. New ideas, new projects and new people have entered our lives and we are planting new seeds in many different areas of our live….. Life is cycles. When we stop changing and remain static, we start to die a little death that can snowball into greater consequences if we don't go with the season. Planting a seed in Winter doesn't work. Trying to harvest in the Spring will bear no fruit. Make sure you're in sync with your season and soak it up."

That makes sense right? It’s important that in every cycle of your life, to be there fully, don’t run away and hide. Remember the Grasshopper that sat on it’s butt all Summer and did nothing, only to freeze and starve through the Winter. Such is life, we’ll Starve (emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically) if we don’t learn to evolve with each unique and perfect purpose in our lives. It seems scary at times, but that's the nature of Growth. You can’t Harvest in your “Winter” if you don’t plant new seeds now! Grow, Flourish, Seek out New Challenges, Conquer Great Heights, Learn something New, always be ready for more miraculous acts of Life!

“Every season has a reason and fulfills its part in the cycle of our lives.” - TDL

I challenge you to make this week one of contemplation and dedication; don’t sit still on your BUTT. Start moving, fuel up and start running! Cram in that extra hour of workout, pick recipes that allow you to eat clean, find time to read a book, take your kids to the park, plan a Hot-Date with Your Man or Someone New, learn to affirm who you are, take up dancing, sweat, find peace, and always remember to love yourself!

Ps. Checkout the Dream Board Challenge from Tone-It-Up - make it a priority this week and DREAM BIG! http://toneitup.com/blog.php?Your-vision-board-to-make-your-dreams-come-true-5095

A little Motivation...

2011-06-01T16:15:00.000-07:00

In the recent weeks I've had the pleasure of meeting many different people and trying out a few new activities, but in doing so I've also realized a few things about myself. Now more then ever I want to keep motivated, and motivate others to truly accomplish great things with their life! I especially want people's focus to be on the Mental, not just the physical. I truly believe that when your mind is at peace, miracles happen! You loose weight, you make healthier meal choices, you find more time to do important things instead of pointless tasks, your relationships improve, your views on life are more positive.... truly incredible things happen...

I do also love the following from My Favorite Team of super Ladies, the Tone-It-Up girls!

"If you're feeling overwhelmed with work, other priorities, or you're tired and you can't focus on yourself... just remember what makes you happy. When you're in control of your happiness and your body, you're able to give more love to other areas of your life. Close your eyes for 5 minutes after you read this. ~ Visualize yourself happy & confident. Visualize yourself being in control of your day; what you eat, how you react to situations, how much you smile and remind yourself what you're grateful for. Imagine yourself this summer being the happiest you've ever been. ~What led you to that place? What decisions did you have to make to get there? Did you have to sacrifice anything? Once you have those thoughts in your mind, move confidently in that direction and don't give up. You will feel like you're on top of the world!! You're the one in control of your success!"

Don't you love that?

So Listen, I've been hitting them gym almost everyday in the evenings, along with 5AM wake up calls to make my Breakfast Shake and take a spin around the block! I'm feeling good, and although changes don't happen overnight, the time and effort I put in now, will pay off in the long run. I have quite a few goals that I am trying to personally achieve for myself, especially with regards to health. The last two weeks have been terrible in the Mind and Body department, as I was plagued with the flu and have been suffering from insomnia and massive migraines.

That being said, I'm not allowing it to darken my Motivation. I know it's hard to find balance in life, and I understand how challenging it is for all of us ladies out there to truly assert ourselves when it comes to our health... but if I can do it, You can do it too! Trust me, I have two kids, I work Full-Time, I'm building a Health & Wellness empire off to the side, and trying to push more friends and family to drink my secret to good Health. I'm up from 5AM to 12AM everyday, I don't stop! I know what tired and busy is all about... but if you're adamant about Change, see to it that you push yourself towards that Change.

Don't give up!

I'm not just talking physically, I'm talking mentally.. Like you, I sometimes lack the Mindset to accomplish those things I need to do. Waking up an extra 30mins early in the mornings to tell yourself you're Bold, Successful, Beautiful, Capable, Healthy & Hot or a daily devotional on Life is a sure fire-way to get yourself Happy & Successful in all aspects of your life...

Hot & Happy, A way to lead a Healthy Marriage....

2011-05-05T15:07:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged in about a week, yeah I know, it's long overdue, but seriously.. I've been plagued with these mind & body type situations that play games with me. It sets my personal life into complete confusion and chaos – not a good thing. One minute I'm plugged in, the next I'm wondering what is life really all about. I've got all these excuses for why & why not, but what’s next? I've always been someone that tends to like change, although as any insecure person, it has to be on my terms and under my control... this only causes a lot of problems because it's disorganized and tends to be a little impulsive. I'm changing that.

Impulsiveness, time to Change.... Life's never easy, but it sure is a trip, right? I was lying in bed with my husband the other night, realizing the enormity of our current status. A few weeks ago we were yelling DIVORCE at each other, and yet there I was in bed beside him, wondering, "How the heck could I ever live without this man?" Things have really been going downhill, yelling and screaming at him constantly, pointing out all his faults on an ongoing basis, setting expectations that I knew he wasn’t ready for, and always hitting home with real heart-breaker comments. It took a very solemn look on his face a few weeks back, after I called him out on some not-so-husbandly behavior, to walk-out on me and whisper some life-altering words ..."I want a Divorce"... Yep, he said that very thing....

Man-Oh-man, what an eye-opener! I was so set on giving him this well-deserve tongue lashing, over the fact that yes, I'm ALWAYS right, but this time I'd gone too far. I'd been disrespectful and seriously out of line with some of the things that I'd been saying. His entire demeanor changed in that instance, he was unrecognizable. It was in that moment that I had to come to a serious conclusion... so listen up as this is probably going to be life changing for you...

I don't always have to be right, NOT EVEN WHEN I AM RIGHT! As a matter of fact, the more right I am, the more likely I’m going to only push him away. As women, we’re always preaching about how our man needs to be a man, and love us, treat us right, spoil us rotten, and hold us in the highest regard. Yet what about men? What do men need that we continuously covet? What is something that we do to constantly push the limits within our relationships? The answer..... wait for it..... we DIS-RESPECT HIM! YES WE DO!

There’s something extremely vital in all relationships, and that’s the Love & Respect relationship. Emerson Eggerichs clearly explains this through a short article in his book, “During marital conflict most husbands feel assured of their wives' love (because of her more loving nature) and most wives feel less assured of their husbands' love (because of his less loving nature). As for the husband, he can see the love in the spirit of his wife. He does not question her love.

So, why does a husband negatively react during marital conflict, and his spirit deflate, if he knows his wife loves him? Because he does not think she likes and respects him. Sadly, many wives say, "I love you but DON'T respect YOU right now." Because he is less loving than he ought to be, she feels he doesn't deserve her respect. Of course, he exclaims, "I don't deserve this disrespect. Everybody respects me but you." Consequently, he thirsts for her respect. Rarely if ever does he say, "You don't love me" since he knows she loves him. If he told her that she did not love him, this would be an affront to her nature, and she would react in a colossal fashion.

Let me add that because a husband loves less naturally, a wife recognizes areas that he needs to change. She cares for him and wants to help him. Over time, she points out areas that he needs to change. After all, if he changed into a more loving person, the marriage would improve because she would love on him even more.

However, as the months and years pass he still seems to love less naturally than she does. Her critiques turn into criticisms. He does not seem to be responding so she increases the intensity of her complaint. Her regular criticism and complaints pulsate in his veins as contempt for who he is. He feels she does not accept him, approve of him, or respect him as a human being.”

Ahah! Wow, that was just mind blowing!!!! Did a little light just go on in your head? Maybe a “DUH” sound across the room as you read this? Could it be so simple, that a man’s vital need in life isn’t the fact that you LOVE him (cause he already knows this, trust me), but instead he desperately desires and needs for you to RESPECT him?

That brings me to the title of my blog, and why it relates to Health & Wellness in so many ways. Being healthy isn’t just about exercising and looking great, it’s also about feeling great and having healthy relationships in all of your lives. One of the MOST important relationships you can ever have is one with your partner. This relationship is not only vital to the way that you will live your life, but it’s also going to affect all decisions, moods, and experiences in life. If you’re constantly fighting with your Man, putting him down, not being attentive to what he needs or what he requires to survive in your relationship… if you’ve always got to have the last word, or be RIGHT about it all… then you’re in for one Helluva rocky relationship. ASK yourself, “ Do I want to be unhappy and unfulfilled my whole life?”…, or would you like to be Hot, Happy & lead a Healthy Marriage....?

My guess is like me, you probably want your partner to Love you, and shower you with his attention. You’re probably dying to have him hold you, kiss you, and sweet talk you into bed… amongst other things.. You’re probably just waiting to get some flowers… any day now! You want him, need him, wish he could only see that all you desire is to be LOVED! And you CAN be loved …

When I decided to apply the things I had read in Love & Respect, our relationship changed overnight. I’m NOT KIDDING! … In the last week I’ve used words like “I respect You”, “I appreciate everything you do for me”, “Thank You for doing this/that & the other”… I’ve also made a point of not taking things personally, that allowing him some distance also is respectful of his need to think about life… and in turn it shows him that I value his individuality.. and guess what’s happened? We haven’t fought once in the last two weeks, we’ve made love more times then I can count, for the first time in our entire marriage – he bought me flowers!!! This is HUGE for us… and it just keeps getting better ladies.. He calls me every day, 5-8 times a day, just to ask me about what I’m doing.. if that’s not LOVE … then I must be nuts not to give him all the RESPECT he truly deserves…

Hot & Happy doesn’t mean just looking like one sexy woman, it also means BEING that sexy woman, on the inside. My husband didn’t need me to simply tell him I loved him, he just truly needed to know that I didn’t hate him.. and that I respect him, no matter what he does/says/or acts like.. and in turn he has made the change in showing me the kind of love I deserve…

I took the first step, and so can you… Oh and you NEED to pick up this book... :-)

Bikini Challenge Week 1 - Toning It Up!

2011-04-20T12:42:00.000-07:00

My Goal in my Bikini Series (Week 1) was to really hold fast to my workouts and keep up the sweats. It’s so important for your body to feel motivated into exercising, so in order to avoid let down, I’ve made sure that in anything I do – I’m always “working it”.. I do this in a variety of ways, whether being physical with the kids, climbing my stairs at work/home more often, walking at lunch, holding in my core muscles while sitting for long periods of time… the options are limitless!

This week has been a bit of a write off with regards to my Bikini workouts, but I have found ways to actually mold my body into positions that avoid having to press down on my ankle. In being part of 90Days2Life, I’ve learned a thing or two about excising, which is awesome because I’ve been able to then manipulate my body in order to avoid further injury on this blasted ankle!

What’s also nice is that in having to avoid stepping on my left foot, I’ve been using a lot of my core muscles and drinking copious amounts of Water with my T3’s, amazing! An injury that can actually be manipulated to work itself into my exercise routine, who knew?

The Workouts I’ve done are:

Crunches (On the Back and With a Ball)
One Legged Push Ups & Sit Downs
Upper Body Exercises (Free Weights)
Butt crunches & toning
Tone It Ups Bikini Workout with some alterations

I’ve learnt a lot in just a few days of Spraining this Ankle, as really what it comes down to is focus. With so many demands intruding or attempting to intrude on your attention and energies, your goals that create focus are the firewall, and your primary path to success. In my need to succeed and prosper at this Bikini Goal, I need to keep myself in the game, and set personal goals that can align with my values and abilities; they need to be realistic though – are yours?

My next goal in this series is getting up an hour earlier in the morning in order to workout. I want to incorporate this into my second week of workouts, as at the moment I’m not getting enough sleep, and that’s already a vital part of weight-loss and keeping Healthy. I’ve said it before that Morning Workouts need to be part of your daily routine, but sometimes it’s impossible – there also needs to be time to sleep, no? Find a way… even if it means 20 minutes of intervals on your bedroom floor, there’s such a variety of workouts to choose from, and a great place to check is toneitup.com. I’ve found the resources and informational videos on this site awesome! Many of their workouts are easy to follow, and simple too!

I have to say that with Week 1 now under my belt, and having really stuck to my goals, and keeping my focus in mind – it’s really helped me to also focus on my actions for Happiness. I’ve taken time to put down my phone once in a while, I’ve incorporated some meditation into my daily routine, and I am taking time to really nurture those important relationships in my life.

For all those reading this, take some time to reflect on the above and really plug-in! If you do, you're going to see some amazing changes come about in your life, and realistically experience the Lifestyle you've always dreamed of.

With regards to my progress, I know I’d promised pictures and measurements, which I will take and post later today – stay tuned!

Sun Run Fail, Sprained ankle, Being a Supportive Spouse - I am Enthralled with life!

2011-04-19T11:12:00.000-07:00

When 90Days2Life first started, one of my goals was to complete the Vancouver Sun Run. I didn't precisely have a record time in mind or a running speed that I wanted to achieve, I just wanted to do it. Life then got in the way, my husband entered rehab, I was left to take care of everything, and over the course of the last few months, a dull ache replaced the drive to train in order to actually participate in the Sun Run. I feel a sense of loss, "I" let me down, and maybe even a small stab at my pride... A handful of the ladies in the group were able to participate and had such a wonderful time... am I jealous? Yes, a little, maybe a lot, but I'm so proud of them for crossing this event off their Bucket List.... Proud to see that they had a goal and they stuck by it! Now instead of reflecting of my own negativity, I can praise them for their accomplishment, and support their achievement!

Then there's the Crazy Cycle; it never ends does it?

One minute you seem blissfully happy, the next you're injuring yourself rolling down a hill, while chasing your 4 year old, because you want to feel young again and not let him down by being that lazy mom who can't pick up her feet a little... not that I'm lazy! I just initially didn't want to actually chase him down a hill that seemed all too steep to begin with, but what the heck, you're only mobile for so long, may as well use your legs right? One sprained ankle later, extreme swelling and a headache followed, and then there's of course your back that seems very aware of the fact that you went down on a bed of rocks. I am recovering nicely though, and the crutches help!

Then you have the husband who has a constant knack for finding everything wrong with life, no matter how amazing it is, and you HAVE TO find the peace within in order to stop yourself from breaking down and crying, or ripping a strip off his hide - this is easier said then done, that I can tell you. There are moments when I seriously cannot seem to find the words to describe the sheer amount of anger I have towards the oaf, and other times, it's as if there wasn't a darn thing wrong! Strange this Crazy Cycle! I have to tell you though, prayer is an amazing cure for all things messy & chaotic. This morning while getting up and trying to wake up from T3 sedation, my husband got himself into such a tiff. "I don't want to get up", "I'm too tired", "I can't do this".. Me, Me, Me, Me, Me... my usual reaction to this would have been, "What the F%^!*"... but I stopped myself.

I took a step back and looked at the broken man that he is and decided that I would go about my attacking him for being such a pain in the ass, a little differently. I sat on the edge of the bed next to him, curled my arm around his and talked very softly. He raised his voice in anger and shouted a little, he even tried to take his arm from mine, but I kept him there, softly re-assuring him of his decision to take control of his life. I told him how much I loved him, what a good father he was, and such potential he has in being truly happy. ... We sat there for a good 15minutes, some moments silent, and then I asked him if I could pray for him. He scoffed, shook his head, wondered what was the point, no prayer seemed to work according to him....

I got on my knees, folded my hands and began to pray for him. I'm not sure if you've ever prayed for your spouse before, but it's soul bearing and extremely intimate. I can tell you that our day went a whole lot different. Not only did he show me the love and respect I required to start my day, he had a sense of peace about him, he humbled himself to his children, and made every effort to keep his character in check. Before that prayer, he told me that he'd tried so many times to pray, and it didn't work... little did he know that in moment he abandoned his pride, his hope was lifted, and supplication was made. His very act of "Letting Go, and Letting God" meant that his prayer became real, and a moment for admitting his need, of adopting humility, and claiming dependence upon a higher power.

Through Prayer you are discovering values and motivations, and are learning to be honest with yourself. You are making a conscious effort to not only change your life, but to depend on faith, will power, and hard work, in order to bring about the changes you wish to see. 90Days2Life, the group, is a similar means for you to reestablish that connection within your heart and mind, giving yourself the opportunity to have a deeper experience with Body and Soul; everything in life is Spiritual, as all things mitigate back to an inner path enabling a person to discover the essence of their being; or the "deepest values and meanings by which people live". With myself, 90Days2Life has proven to be the most amazing means of giving back to others, and in doing so I have found my passion. I find selflessness a necessity in order to be happy, and in order to see others succeed. I cannot live without it.

Kids - How do you deal with them?

2011-04-14T09:10:00.000-07:00

After coming home last night after a long day at work, and then picking up the two boys, I reflected on my previous post about my treating them in a certain "negative" way. I felt really compelled to focus myself on just having the evening run in a way that would avoid all conflict with them and allow me to interact with my kids on a more positive level.

As a parent, you may feel that you're not spending the time you need in order to build a positive relationship with your children, or even interacting with them in a positive way, but you must. I know all too well that life can get chaotic and out of control at times, and then you're restricted to those few short hours in the evening - hustling to make dinner, preparing for the next day, cleaning what you can, trying to pay attention to the nagging child at your hip, and then getting them to bed. I'm there with you!

A lot has to change though in order for this chaos to become a balance. For myself, taking on different outlooks and being open to people's insights about how I talk to my kids and opinions on behavior modifying is vital in my growth as a parent. I don't know how many times I've had the urge to blame my children for their behaving a certain way, or criticizing them because they may do something overly annoying. This isn't their fault though, it's mine; I am the adult, I am their guide - my children are simply a reflection of who I am.

An example of this is as follows; late last evening I made arrangements to meet up with a few ladies from 90Days2Life. Our weekly Wednesday night meeting had been cancelled due to the Playoffs, Sickness, and some last minute issues, so we were down to just a few attendees. I was hoping that by just slipping away from the house for a few hours would allow me to reset and re-energize. My four year old wouldn't have it, and my husband was already in a mood, so a resorted to simply taking my little man along. I was really terse with him, explaining that I expected him to sit in his chair, and play with the few small toys he was bringing along. Looking back now I realize my first mistake, I was directly making him feel as though I wanted him to around in the first place, even though his bouts of crying right before I left, clearly indicated that he wanted to be with me; he needs me.

So off we went to Starbucks and sauntered through the doors. One of the ladies was already waiting and I quickly made my apologies for having to bring my son along, then blaming my husband for his inability to watch him. Again, not a wise crack remark on my part, as I was then putting my husband down in front of my son, a man that he adored and respects. I realize that now, yet why didn't it occur to me right then and there?

The evening went on and we got into conversations on our behavior with our spouses, and the roadblocks we face when having to deal with confrontation in our relationships. My son wanted my attention though, and repeated would make an effort to either talk to me, or create a diversion so that my focus would be on the activity he was partaking in. One of the ladies then made a comment, "Look, he's trying to get your attention....", my attention, well I guess I better start paying attention. It was then that she went on to explain to me about behaviors, and that it wasn't my son just having outbursts without reason, it was because of my reaction to his need for me. Of course I'm also having a hard time laying out rules, and I find that many times I say something without actually following through - BAD IDEA!

After a very enjoyable time at Starbucks, and then a short meltdown from my little guy, I headed home, and got to work on the techniques I had just learnt. One of them was that in asking your child to do something, it has very little effect on their follow-through, as you are actually giving them the reigns instead of making it an order and leaving them no choice but to do as they are told. The next few hours of the evening were then all about, my attention on him, but telling him to do what needed to be done, and miracle of miracles, my four year old was like a changed man.

I'm guessing at this point you're probably nodding your head and agreeing or disagreeing with a lot of what I've just said, but the reality of the situation is that our children's upbringing is truly going to define who and what they are later on in life. If you as a parent don't take the steps NOW to create the change you wish to see in any aspect of your life, especially with your kids, you will be relentlessly chasing for control and respite. And remember: Children seldom misquote. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. That applies to everything in life!

"It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself." -Joyce Maynard

Do you ever, FAIL?

2011-04-13T11:27:00.000-07:00

I get up in the morning telling myself that today is going to be a different day. My first order of business is of course waking up and facing myself in the mirror. I have a “sort of” routine in my grogginess; running the faucet for about a minute then splashing my face with ice cold water. Starring a little, wondering if I always look so freaking tired. Sighing, pulling out the tools that will seemingly somewhat mask the bags under my eyes. I wonder why I can’t sleep all that well. I’m tired, exhausted, I feel sad…. But then the makeup goes on, I’m feeling a little better; maybe I’ll hit the gym today?

I get to work and start a different process; I’m login on to my computer now and punching in my trusty password. The screen loads, and I wait, drumming my fingers on my desk. There’s no light in here, not even a window, I’m just a cubicle in a corner. I wonder what I’m doing here, why do I work so hard and yet feel like such crap? I check my emails, then totally loose sight of what I’m actually supposed to be doing. I concentrate on getting home and finishing that book I started last night?

My day keeps on, slowly but surely I’m watching the clock, hoping that the minutes will turn in hours and then I’ll finally be able to walk out that front door. I want to see my kids, I miss them. What about my husband, I worry about him. I have lunch, telling myself that it’ll be something somewhat healthy and then I pig out on Sushi – it’s just so damn good! I’m feeling exhausted just from this nutritious activity, I feel useless in eating. Why can’t I just get it together? What’s wrong with me? Is this what it’s like to be somewhat happy?

The day only seems to get longer after that halfway point and I keep losing interest in all that I’m doing. I’m shinning on the outside, but on the inside I feel like a ball of disappointment. I tell myself to keep it going, and that if I just keep on plugging along, doing what I should and make sure to keep everyone around me happy, then it just won’t seem so bad. Is this the problem? What is it about working in this office that depresses the hell out of me?

I’ve got nothing to do now, I’m finished everything on my trusty to-do-list... A smile creeps over my face, and I pull up my blog, hoping to catch a glimpse at the numbers I’m trying to somewhat maintain. I guess 14 a day is, OK? I don’t open up much in terms of deep feelings on self, maybe that's what they want? I try to when I’m in the mood. I fail at doing this though, a lot.. I can talk about motivating others and rant about all my escapades, and what you should/should not do, or give you tips on how to live a better life, but that’s all about this seemingly perfect world. My life’s not perfect, yours isn’t either, so why am I talking about being so happy all the time? Why do I fail to talk about the real, the nitty gritty, the soul grappling – gravity pulling topics that make your eyes well up, and your heart squeeze tight?

The day's ended now, I'm on my way to pick up my kids. Dread. I yell a lot when I'm with them. Guilt. I say things I shouldn't. Lazy. I'm not doing it right! Shame. I don't have the patience to take the time to explain it to them. Sadness. They're sleeping well before I can tell them how sorry I am for all the pain in their lives. I keep driving, I'm almost there... I know they're going to be so excited to see me. Why can't I get this right, I don't want to see them hurt when I'm just too overwhelmed to care. We're home now, I'm not going to let this get out of control, I will love them, I do love them. They're playing, and I'm playing with them too, but the oldest gets out of control - I yell and scream, he cowers and hides. I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have reacted that way.... can't I just do this right!!!!! They're my kids after all, no? I fail.

But Listen...

We all fail sometimes.................... we don't always excel at what we're dying to do right; we don't always manage what’s uncertain or scary; what’s out of our comfort zones; what has to be done yet not enjoyed; what means patience over "parenting"; what means kindness over shame; what means listening over shouting....; what means loving the man you're with, instead of judging him so.... I muster up the courage to write about what my day looks like sometimes, and I’ve failed to do so before, and that’s ok. But guess what, I’m doing it now….

Do you ever fail? Do you ever say I’ll do it but don’t? Do you ever hate yourself for something, even though you do it often? Is life out of control? Do you ever want to be amazing, yet make the excuses? Do you want to open up, and get the world to listen up and say, “Hey, I relate to this”, but don't put in the effort? Can you find the courage to put yourself out there, even if it means trying again and again? Are you ok with failing and picking yourself back up?

I’m a sad mess of emotions, I’m hurting, I’m angry, I'm in shame. A fail wouldn’t you say? Maybe, but guess what? I’m in the favor of one amazing God that has my back. I tell you there’s no better place to be than in this father’s favor …. Cause we all fail at life, and we all win in the end, but there’s something untouchable in having a relationship with someone so awesome, that in any failure, his GRACE perseveres. I get to wake up each morning feeling like shit, but God pulls me back and says, “I love you Jess, you’re my little girl, and I’m here to take care of you. I’m not going to let you down, even when you let yourself down; I’m here to watch over you. No matter what your circumstance, your insecurities, your pains; I’m here to comfort you. However angry, upset, or sad; I’m going to give you the power to overcome it all. ” Now, Isn't that what you call winning!? And so, when you see that happy me, smiling on the outside, it's cause I've failed miserably, and he put me back together on the inside.

So let me ask you this, are you failing now?
Or have you found the strength to overcome something today?

This is My Booty Call!

2011-04-12T15:21:00.000-07:00

I'm on a real bender! My alarm is set about 30 minutes earlier every morning, as I take on my greatest challenge yet; Bikini Body by August! Studies show that people who workout first thing in the morning burn a slightly higher percentage of fat, have more energy, eat better throughout the day & stick to a program.

As my last blog was about my struggles with my weight, and how I wanted to overcome this post-baby body - I wanted to keep you tuned in, and engaged. I believe that in sharing about my own experiences, and being passionate about those things that I believe in, it will also inspire you to chase after what matters to you most!

This week, I'm making a goal of blogging about 3 times and including a photo of myself to go along with my spiel on all the exciting things I'm doing to get myself happy & healthy. I'm going to be including tips, tricks, recipes and information on how this challenge is working out for me.

Keep posted for the next Chapters in Bikini Body by August!

Bikini Contest Here I come! Anyone want to Join me??

2011-04-05T16:05:00.000-07:00

… As part of one of 90Days2Lifes' initiative's, we’ve asked each member to make weekly goals for themselves, and post them to our Facebook wall, and on their Facebook status’. I have yet to do this this week, but I will right after I write this out!

I’ve struggled with my weight for a good portion of my 20’s, this is mainly due to some shady partying, birth control, and probably not the best decisions when it comes to my overall nutrition. That being said, the worst really took over when I started having kids, and even though I bounced back with my first… this second time around has been a bit hellish!

Yet, I continue to lose the post baby weight, and with my recent dedication to a steadfast diet, and weekly fitness routine, it’s been easy to shed the few extra pounds here and there. But that’s not good enough! It’s not! I’ve been an advocate for Health & Wellness for over six months now, or something like that, and I really want to see results!

In an effort to really persuade myself psychologically and physically to get rid of these last 45lbs, I have decided to enter myself into a Fitness Modeling Contest, competition tba next year. I’ve always been the competitive type, and I find that when there’s some type of recognition involved, I usually go that extra mile. That being said, I’ve haven’t had my clothes off in public for about ten years, or stood before mass amounts of people clad in nothing but a few articles of fabric, but my mission is to really prove to myself that I CAN DO THIS!

I want those silky flat abs, smooth hips, tight breasts, lean arms and perky derrière. What woman doesn’t? I think that we spend so much time looking at what’s in the mirror that we don’t see opportunity knocking at our door. We find excuses in order to hold ourselves back, because as all females, we’re shallow we don’t see immediate results. If we don’t see the effects of our dedication right away, we get discouraged and then we forget to notice that our butts really are a little firmer this week or that our legs are a little more toned!

My goal for the next 6 months is to not only continue to be an advocate to women in the areas of Health & Wellness, but to also really promote the need to keep yourself in fit form. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a little more definition on your body, to have better stamina, to be able to hold your own while carting shopping bags to your car, or lusting after that fitness models body; my advice is, make sure you’re doing it for you!

I’m doing this for myself and also because I’d like to stop having to replace my wardrobe every 2 months! Being out of shape is not only costly, but it’s psychologically deterring me from really having the self-confidence that I should to take on new challenges and really assert myself in everything I do!

Listen, I’m just as insecure as any other girl – this is no lie. When people tell me that I look good, I cringe. I fear the worst, or that they’re just saying that because they know it’s going to sound a heck of a lot better then, “Geez Jess, you’re freaking FAT!”.. I stop to wonder what other women think of me when I’m in public, or if my husband really is all that attracted to me, as he stares at some hot blonde walk across the street – yeah, guys do that, even the one’s you’re married to. The thing is, I can’t let this type of stuff get me down, but I realize that it’s an insecurity of mine that NEEDS to be OVERCOME.

And so here are my goals:

1. Drop 45lbs by August 1^st, and replace with 10lbs of lean muscle.
2. Drink at least 5 bottles of water a day, including my fiber!
3. Make Nutritious and filling meals for ALL family members, including myself.
4. Find one day a week to exercise with my kids, and teach them to be healthy.
5. Take a weekly picture of myself while I progress to my goal.
6. Weekly blog about my routine, and post my measurements.
7. Take My Reveal at least twice a day, and drink post workout shakes after each workout.

So I guess in a way I’ve declared war against myself, or primarily my body, and I’m telling you – THIS IS IT! I’m about to kick some serious ass, and take this whole shedding weight to a whole new level! WATCH ME DO THIS.. I know I will, and I want to tell every other woman out there struggling with their own weight, whoever you are, you too can really make a difference in your life. Set yourself up to succeed, and follow your dreams!

Ps. The picture I've posted is actually of World Famous Jennifer Nicole Lee. Not only is she my inspiration, but like any other mom, she battled weight to an extreme - and look at her now! She's made herself the success she endeavored to be, and didn't give up, no matter what.

To learn more about her, go to: http://jennifernicolelee.com/index1.aspx

I like to talk a lot sometimes, but this is short and sweet...

2011-04-04T15:57:00.000-07:00

In my own personal life I know that I take on a lot. I get lost in the haze. For instance, I'm a control freak. If someone does the dishes and they aren't done right, I'm not satisfied with the fact that they are DONE, I go in to redo them anyways because they aren't up to my standards. Yes I'm sure this makes me efficient and clearly I'm in the right line of work, but it doesn't make for marital or mental bliss.

Then there's this haze, total mind exhaustion - I ask myself why I don't wear a pair of night-vision goggles as at times it's so hard to see past the chaos. I'm an over-achiever you see, I like to do things, to fix things, to plug-in and ALWAYS stay in control. I've touched on this before, yet REALITY CHECK, when do I remember a very important fact - No car Can GO without gas... Is that Healthy?...

FYI: A bow that is strung too tight loses its spring.

There is such an importance in keeping myself Sharp, Fresh, and In-Check. I allow everything in my life to over-power me, and then I wonder why I get so upset and angry when things get out of control. I continually ask myself, "How can I maintain effectiveness over a long period of time without burning out?" Well Abraham Lincoln once said, “If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I’d spend seven sharpening my saw.” If I'm constantly striving to "DO", with no time for relaxation, I'm going to start to become ineffective and I will eventually burn out - or look like "This" - (Pointing at Tired-out Self-Right now).

So this is my plan for rebooting from a Poor Weekend, and skipping into a Successful week. Last week I made a goal of drinking more water, and incorporating more fiber into my diet. With the above being said, I am making another goal for this week: To continue last week's goal, and to also manage 30mins of intense exercise into my day. I plan on not only doing this, but taking 30 mins to spend with my husband in total relaxation and tranquility. Because Health & Wellness isn't just about all the Right food choices and Keeping fit, it's also about maintaining your mind and the relationships you have with others.

Something short, and It's the Weekend!

2011-03-25T11:34:00.000-07:00

It’s been an awesome week, and much can be said about spending time with your family, accomplishing amazing goals at work, taking a short nap while my husband watches the boys, turning your project into a World Altering adventure, and enjoying the company of the 90Days2Life ladies at our Group Meeting on Wednesday. I find that lately I’m really focusing on my purpose and driving my vision forward. My goals feel a little more centered, even though I’m exhausted from all the work, but what could be more worth it then knowing success is but a step away.

I woke up this morning dreading the idea of another long grueling day, yet as soon as I finally came to I felt this surge of energy. I’m not a morning person; I enjoy sleeping in like anyone else, and actually I tend to sleep walk in the mornings for fear that if I open my eyes I may have to start the day a little earlier then necessary. What I can’t explain then, is how today I managed the ability to avoid all grumpy dispositions that I usually have, and I seemed ecstatic to get my kids dressed and out the door. I actually took the time to get down on the floor with them and play a little. Something weird is going on… is this normal?

Maybe it’s the fact that this week has actually felt really rewarding, and my mindset has changed. It’s not so much the fact that anything in my environment has altered, it’s me, all me. I’ve taken time to appreciate the little things around me and to enjoy what little time I have with my kids. I’ve worked harder on my goals, and miraculously I have accomplished a lot more through steadfast enthusiasm. I feel peculiar, maybe a little too happy, I’m not quite sure how to explain it, but all I know is that it feels damn good!

.. That said, I’m off on a date night tonight with my husband and so happy about it. I love this man so much and regardless of everything we’ve been through, there’s no one I’d rather be with… We’re planning on catching a movie and then possibly curling up on the couch with a glass of wine, then it’s to bed early as I’m going to my first Health & Wellness Show in the morning! Yay! Can’t wait! Looking forward to it as I’m sure I’ll get the chance to network with quite a few people and spread the word about 90Days2Life!

Thoughts: Be thankful for everything you have in life, work hard for everything you have in life, enjoy everything you have in life, as today is but a day, and it’s always followed by tomorrow.. and what better to enjoy then the moments which you live in.

"Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return." - Mary Jean Iron

A Must Read!!!!! Why Am I so Busy? And The Potential for Freedom

2011-03-22T10:00:00.000-07:00

I promised myself I’d write last night, and if not for the outrageous amount of work to do around the house, my own focuses, and trying to get both boys to bed, I probably would have. Lately I’ve found that time escapes me. I can’t seem to find enough of it. Why is that? Why is life just so busy? Is there a way to create more time? Could I pull it from out of nowhere and simply add an extra ten hours onto my day?

A lot of people say that successful people are busy. Really busy. Give that busy person something to do and they’ll usually get it done and in record time. Yet, realistically speaking is that healthy? Can I not image life without being extremely busy? Am I afraid to slow down? Am I afraid that I won’t be successful if I take on less? Afraid that I may have no purpose in life if I allow myself to idle a little?

Many times I’ve considered my life, thinking that I’d probably enjoy something a little more relaxed, fun, and non-stressed, with plenty of time for myself and the family. Yet I realize now that it’s not that I don’t want all those things, it’s that I want to feel significant and purposeful. Should I not feel that way anyways? As a mother & wife, aren’t those important roles/shoes to fill, should I not be fulfilled?

Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids and husband, I adore them, and would gladly do anything for them, but I don’t feel complete in a housekeeper’s role.  A sense of continued productive activity to me is key to my existence; I can’t seem to live without it, especially if I’m achieving goals. When I’m busy I think about my goals, aspirations, purpose and vision in life, yet I want more?  I don’t understand it!

The challenge in me is sometimes my lack of moderation and learning to really prioritize the important “stuff”.  I know that deep down inside I feel like I have to prove something to myself, and maybe to the world, but this leads me to believe that this busy exterior is then only a mask; a barrier; a screen… Realistically when I’m busy I can’t stop to smell the roses or love my life.  How can I be a good listener, the best colleague, best partner, mother and thinker if my mind is cluttered with my “priorities”.  Am I then selfish?

I think in many ways the world calls to me and I feel divided in wanting to rescue it, in giving people a chance to life their best life, but then I’m tied to my responsibilities, that of a family and a career.  Both sides pull at me continuously and when I am not able to get ahead, or find more time to accomplish something, I have a sense of loss or suffer from insecurity.  I feel it costs me to be busy at the wrong times, or focused on the wrong things.  It costs me my health, my happiness, my relationships, time for myself, and Freedom to actually do the things that I want to do!

It’s such a challenging concept, this having no time, this being continually on the go, why do we do it?  If you’re someone such as myself, maybe ask yourself this, who are you when you’re not busy?  Can you think of a time when you’ve been extremely relaxed, without worry, happy to do what you want, in doing something that felt completely wonderful and fulfilling?  When was this?  Who was you shared it with?  How did it feel?  Did you think, behave and act differently?

If like me you have discovered that at times being the wrong type of “busy” is getting in the way of being the person you are truly meant to be, you need to take action.  Do whatever it takes to re-structure your life to give yourself a little more space and freedom; be true to yourself.  I find one of my biggest “busy” moments is focusing on stress and finances, and I’m really making a goal of finding time to seek out a financial planner to get my finances in line.  I’d also like to focus LESS on housekeeping, and maybe re-focus my budget so that I can hire someone on a bi-weekly basis to do it for me.  I want to spend more time working on 90Days2Life and my Family, in order to do this I’m going to discuss working different hours, ask for the possibility of telecommuting, and re-designing my work load to reflect something a little more manageable.

If you’re protesting this concept a little, stop, and consider the option of Freedom?  Just think about it… It only takes a moment to realize that you’re meant for something greater, and that if your heart's calling is for more "Quality" time, you have the ability to give yourself that time – it’s your choice, just make the change.

And so, I guess this draws me to my conclusion, we’re at our “epiphany” here, the long awaited "Ta Dum!" … Freedom, what is it?  Dictionary.com describes Freedom as: 3. the power to determine action without restraint. Read it again... : the power to determine action without restraint.

Now think about what that really means?  We’re talking, a life that doesn’t need to be restrained with CONSTANT trivial tasks, “busy-ness”, mind boggling stresses, financial nightmares, chaotic relationships, disorder; the ease or facility of movement or action!  We’re talking some serious opportunity to exercise your purpose in life, to drive your aspirations, to find success, peace, calm, to experience openness, and happiness, to obtain your desires. Are you getting this? You should be writing it down!!!

In my world that means:

   1.    More time with my family.
   2.    A Vacation 1-2 a year.
   3.    Being myself at all times of the day.
   4.    Hitting the gym because I have the time.
   5.    Self-employed; leading other women to success.
   6.    Having the ability to take my kids to school/field trips/sports.
   7.    Taking some time for a spa day & pampering with friends.
   8.    Time to reflect upon Health/Wealth/Wisdom.
   9.    A mission trip to a foreign country!
   10. A chance to be the change I wish to see in the world!

“Freedom in general may be defined as the absence of obstacles to the realization of desires” – Bertrand Russell.

Checkout this amazing Blog Section by Laura Vanderkam on Time Management: http://www.bnet.com/blog/time-management..Send me your comments, reflections and own personal busy stories; I want to hear from you!

Possibly Blah, and Some Serious Insight Into Self Unlocking My Heart to the World

2011-03-14T09:58:00.000-07:00

I haven’t blogged in a little while now, I know… I know… probably not the best way of keeping up appearances by disappearing, but I have felt such a complete lack of motivation over the last few weeks. I think I’ve done better at eating properly and taking care of my children, however, I have found no time for anything else; two weeks without the gym? My Freaking Goodness, yeah, I’m depressed. It’s not just that though, I actually feel pretty unmotivated in every regard, and I can’t seem to figure out why. I guess the best way to describe how I’m feeling right now is an utter sense of “Blah”.

What’s strange about this sense of “Blah” is that it’s without thought or provocation on anyone’s part, simply a possible symptom of the current situation at home. I feel helpless, perplexed with life, unsure, tired; almost as if I’m mourning a loss of some sort. I feel sad, this blog sounds sad, geez – you’d think as someone with a verve and undeniable love for life could be a little more inspiring! "In moments of discouragement, defeat, or even despair, there are always certain things to cling to. Little things usually: remembered laughter, the face of a sleeping child, a tree in the wind-in fact, any reminder of something deeply felt or dearly loved. No man is so poor as not to have many of these small candles. When they are lighted, darkness goes away-and a touch of wonder remains."

*Sighs*

What’s weird is I should be happy, I should be excited and mystically floating on joy! I say this because my husband ended his 35 day probation at the rehabilitation centre a few weeks ago, and has been able to come home on weekends; shouldn’t I be pumped and flying high over this new beginning!? … You’d think, but for some reason I’m caught in this strange state of “Blah”… The first weekend with him back was glorious euphoria; he was home, finally! I remember picking him up and having this anxiety | giddiness over seeing him. I was so unsure of how to act, whether I should talk a lot or keep to myself, but then he finally walked out of the building, and all thoughts led to a smile. He looked great – having put on about 15lbs had really done wonders for his already muscular build, and some distant flicker of hope grew inside my mind; if he kept this up he’d have me drawing hearts all over my meeting minutes come Monday. We spent the better part of the afternoon in re-acquainting ourselves, along with some glorious *You-Know-What*. I made us a great dinner, we cuddle on the couch, and then he refused to take a bubble bath with me. Yup, you heard me, I wanted to take a bubble bath with my hubby, seeing as we were both tired, and I just wanted to take a romantic bath together… Was that a huge request on my part???? And so, I got pretty upset over his refusal, thinking to myself “Why Would my husband that hasn’t seen me in 48 days, deny me a bubble bath?” It didn’t end at just that either, the battle continued and at the end of the 20minute debate and hurricane tears on my part, he simply realized the “principle”, in just what a small intimate a gesture it would have been to just take a bubble bath with me, could have saved him the trouble of seeing me get so upset and cry. The rest of the weekend was wonderful though, he saw the boys and we spent the better part of the Sunday just hanging out and keeping the kids busy.

Yet, in reflection, I wondered over the fact that he had been so set on not taking a bubble bath with me and I really wanted some answers. This weekend I had thought to myself, “I’m going to take the opportunity to ask him if we could take a bubble bath together” and see what he says – Surprise! He ended up beating me to it. Weird….. I can’t quite describe what happened to him over the last past week, but it seems he had some time to think about why we ended up fighting about such a small thing. Yet, when he looked at me shortly after the kids had gone to bed, and said, “Baby, I was thinking of taking you up on that bubble bath with me?” it was almost as if he understood – he had this knowing about him. He grabbed me and just held me there, apologizing for the insensitive way he’d made me feel unwanted and unloved. He’d realized that it wasn’t the act that mattered as much, it was the fact that, I wanted to do this with him and his actions had made me feel unwanted. I know, you’re reading this and thinking to yourself, this girls’ honestly nuts.

Who the hell cares about a bubble bath? That’s not the point though – as women we all have distinct love languages, and if nurtured and tendered to, our relationships flourish and we grow in total harmony with our partner. To a man we become his wildest fantasy, his greatest counterpart, his best friend; without his love for us, we become dull, angry, and annoyed with everything about him, regardless of what Good he may be. Love languages are not only the foundation of “getting along” with your man, but they are crucial to learning the “Love & Respect” relationship between you both. If he knows what you need, he will see to it that you have what you need – and the same goes for him… if you show him every amount of respect that he craves and needs, you may never experience the dull murmuring in your love life.

That being said, this still has very little to do with the “Blah” I’m feeling, but I’d thought I’d share the above, because at times we become bored, complacent, insecure, or withdrawn from our relationships. For whatever reason, we’re either not showing our loved one enough respect, and/or he’s not giving us the love we need…. We feel like there’s no direction or spark, a total lack of motivation on our parts to cultivate what we know should be wonderful and secure. And so moving on…

This “Blah”, it’s a little scary, it has no pattern or motivation, simply this total lack of self. I’m perplexed, I feel worried in life, worried about what my finances are going to look like in ten years, worried about how to get my kids into sports, how to keep the roof over my head, how to be a good wife or an amazing friend. I wake up in the middle of the night, wishing I could pull myself out of bed and just blog about how I feel, but I’m exhausted, my body feels ravaged with emotional pain and self-doubt. What’s weird about all this, and in looking at my life, I don’t have any reason to be feeling this way, right? I mean my husband is away at a rehabilitation facility leaving me to deal with every facet of our day-to-day life, while I toil at work for 10hours then return home just in time to pick up my kids from daycare, tend to them for an hour, and get ready for the next day. Yet, we have a roof over our heads, we’re in reasonably good health, we have enough money to support our basic needs, we drive a comfortable vehicle, we have friends & family who love and adore us, what the heck is wrong with me?!?!?! *Chuckling* - the mind has a way with the body that no one can understand and if only for the answers, yes if only. If they were present when we needed them most, our lives wouldn’t be so complex and self-doubting. We doubt, we regret, we fear, we know guilt, shame, anger and pain – and through this mindboggling process we seem to come out of it all fairly sane!

My mission this week, if for anything that I set my mind to or dedicate myself to is Gratitude, to realize my blessings and to be a better friend, wife, and mother to every other. "Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow."

This winning attitude can assure me a measure of light in my “Blah”, and support my persevering heart into overcoming any obstacle that stands in my way. I want to feel like I have some control over my “Blah”, that even when I feel pushed down by negative feedback on my spiritual grounding, or talk with regards to disappointment over what I’m not doing for others, or self indulged comments from a recovering husband, or angry children who just really need their mommy to have time for them; I will persevere, I will stand up and get it together, I will make time for me, I will get better, I will get fitter, slimmer and grab life by the balls.

I will not allow this situation to overtake who I am, neither will I allow the world any glory in seeing me at my knees. I may not have the power to move mountains, to make money fall out of the sky, to wish for a Nanny/ Housemaid for just some help, or to stand the sun up and wash the rain way because I hate the gray, or to aid those in need through many means, even though I can try .. What I do know though is that I can love people unconditionally in every regard, I can support a goal, thought or belief with steadfast loyalty, I can stand up for righteousness and success because I know of its motive, and I can be the very best I can be – with every bit of temperance & grace available to me.

Going back to Gratitude, and those things that I am truly thankful for; the moments that have the ability to steal my mind away, to make me smile, to cheer me up, and bring joy to others - I am so indebted to. Thank You to a God that is a listening ear, and undeniably the force behind all my dreams, gaols, and aspirations. Thank You to an amazing group of friends for your loyalty, encouragement and faith in who I am and what I can be. Thank You to a loving husband who has made a commitment to bettering himself and in turn has encouraged me to do the same. Thank You to my children who believe in me and love me no matter what.

"Whenever someone sorrows, I do not say, "forget it," or "it will pass," or "it could be worse" -- all of which deny the integrity of the painful experience. But I say, to the contrary, "It is worse than you may allow yourself to think. Delve into the depth. Stay with the feeling. Think of it as a precious source of knowledge and guidance. Then and only then will you be ready to face it and be transformed in the process." --Peter Koestenbaum

5 Things Happy People Do

2011-03-08T13:22:00.000-08:00

.. Paraphrased ..

Sages going back to Socrates have offered advice on how to be happy, but only now are scientists beginning to address this question with systematic, controlled research. Although many of the new studies reaffirm time-honored wisdom ("Do what you love," "To thine own self be true"), they also add a number of fresh twists and insights.

1. They find their most golden self.
Picture happiness. What do you see? A peaceful soul sitting in a field of daisies appreciating the moment? That kind of passive, pleasure-oriented—hedonic—contentment is definitely a component of overall happiness. But researchers now believe that eudaimonic well-being may be more important. Cobbled from the Greek eu ("good") and daimon ("spirit" or "deity"), eudaimonia means striving toward excellence based on one's unique talents and potential—Aristotle considered it to be the noblest goal in life. In his time, the Greeks believed that each child was blessed at birth with a personal daimon embodying the highest possible expression of his or her nature. One way they envisioned the daimon was as a golden figurine that would be revealed by cracking away an outer layer of cheap pottery (the person's baser exterior). The effort to know and realize one's most golden self—"personal growth," in today's lingo—is now the central concept of eudaimonia, which has also come to include continually taking on new challenges and fulfilling one's sense of purpose in life.

2. They design their lives to bring in joy.
It may seem obvious, but "people don't devote enough time to thinking seriously about how they spend their life and how much of it they actually enjoy. Analyzing one's life isn't necessarily easy and may require questioning long-held assumptions. A high-powered career might, in fact, turn out to be unfulfilling; a committed relationship once longed for could end up being irritating with all the compromising that comes with having a partner. Dreams can be hard to abandon, even when they've turned sour. Fortunately, changes don't have to be big ones to tip the joy in your favor. If you transfer even an hour of your day from an activity you hate (commuting, scrubbing the bathroom) to one you like (reading, spending time with friends), you should see a significant improvement in your overall happiness. Taking action is key.

3. They avoid "if only" fantasies.
If only I get a better job...find a man...lose the weight...life will be perfect. Happy people don't buy into this kind of thinking. The latest research shows that we're surprisingly bad at predicting what will make us happy. People also tend to misjudge their contentment when zeroing in on a single aspect of their life—it's called the focusing illusion. In one study, single subjects were asked, "How happy are you with your life in general?" and "How many dates did you have last month?" When the dating question was asked first, their romantic life weighed more heavily into how they rated their overall happiness than when the questions were reversed.

4. They put best friends first.
It's no surprise that social engagement is one of the most important contributors to happiness. What's news is that the nature of the relationship counts. Compared with dashing around chatting with acquaintances, you get more joy from spending longer periods of time with a close friend. And the best-friend benefit doesn't necessarily come from delving into heavy discussions. One of the most essential pleasures of close friendship, is simple companionship, "just hanging out," hitting the mall or going to the movies together and eating popcorn in the dark.

5. They allow themselves to be happy.
As much as we all think we want it, many of us are convinced, deep down, that it's wrong to be happy (or too happy). Whether the belief comes from religion, culture, or the family you were raised in, it usually leaves you feeling guilty if you're having fun. Some people would say you shouldn't strive for personal happiness until you've taken care of everyone in the world who is starving or doesn't have adequate medical care. For one thing, there is clear research showing that happy people tend to be more open to helping others. They also make better spouses and parents. And in one famous study, nuns whose autobiographies expressed positive emotions (such as gratitude and optimism) lived seven to 10-and-a-half years longer than other nuns. So, for any die-hard pessimist who still needs persuading, just think of how much more you can help the world if you allow a little happiness into your life.

90 Days is Just the Beginning! Chasing My sexy! Now Chase Yours!

2011-02-25T11:18:00.000-08:00

Ahhh! It’s another exciting start to my day and I’m finally getting over my sickness! I had this raging lymph node issue, vomiting, headache, sickness, with Massive Cold Sore, and it’s almost gone! I find this weird, I thought that usually Cold Sores take up to two weeks to heal? Or most dominant sicknesses for that matter? Does this mean that getting healthy, drinking lots of water, and eating nutritious meals everyday actually helps!?! Wonderful!

I am telling you though, it’s amazing! I can’t believe how quickly my body has recovered and in weighing myself today, I actually lost another 2.5lbs in the last week. Yes! Isn’t that fantastic? I haven’t starved myself or done anything that may negatively impact my body, I just keep doing it RIGHT! What a journey this is too, you start out with all these goals for physically improving upon the “baby fat” that you’ve been left with since childbirth, commit to 90days, then end up making a lifelong commitment to yourself. Incredible!

I keep thinking, how did I get here, and how did it happen so fast? Those 90days just sped by, and as I’ve kept on, I recommitted to myself every day. I wake up and think; today I’m going to be healthy! Today I’m going to get a little exercise, eat right, think right, spend time with my kids and just remind myself that the Juice is worth the Squeeze.. Chasing the Sexy is Worth the Amazing body I will have in a few months, or the new found self-esteem, or the better outlook on life! This journey has been such a beginning to achieving the goals that I’ve set in front of myself, and I just keep climbing.

The other day I was at the gym and noticed that just because of that “climbing” and commitment to myself, I can actually lift weights that are 20lbs heavier! Incredible! And people say that goals don’t get you anywhere, well I say… if you don’t make commitments, if you don’t make plan, if you constantly preach to people, yet do nothing yourself, then you will get nowhere! Action and Reaction go hand in hand; you can’t have one without the other. Action allows you to form the thoughts in your mind in order to push yourself to Reaction! If you don’t react, then what was the point of you taking Action in the first place? You with me!

I’m serious though, things are great, even in the bad, and within the realm of actually kicking this weight in the ass, my butt has even tightened up! Imagine that? I thought I’d probably have one of those mom butts the rest of my life, but low and behold it’s actually firmed up. My skin looks tighter, my eyes look brighter, my teeth look whiter – well not quite I just wanted a rhyming factor there.. but the point is… everything changes when you start giving it your all! I might have been sick, down and out for the last few days, but I kicked that out the door and now I’m feeling better; all it took was a little rest and re-committing to myself continuously!...

Btw – Fitness World Langley has been an amazing partner in this Journey. Corbin Shivers the general Manager has been amazing to our group by offering us an amazing discount with added incentives to push us towards our goals. He’s been a doll to say the least, and one of the most approachable fitness coaches I’ve ever met in my life! I am so excited to see where our partnership takes us and how this will impact future members of our group. So far a handful of our ladies have signed up for their free trials, been to their fitness assessments and participated in body composition. The feedback has been awesome and I am so proud to see so many taking advantage of this incredible deal! …. I would like to add that Hitting the gym isn’t the chore that it used to be! No.. once you get into the routine and visualize your target, eventually those first few days just seem to spin by and then you’ve got your groove!

Remember that you are what you do, what you think, what you eat… and that with routine, anything is possible! I want you to remind yourself today, “When we think of failure; Failure will be ours. If we remain undecided; Nothing will ever change. All we need to do is want to achieve something great and then simply to do it. Never think of failure for what we think, will come about.”

So If I can do this, You can to!

True Friendship is Extremely Important

2011-02-24T12:35:00.000-08:00

Beyond a doubt, we must know and remember that true friends can and will improve our lives. A friend is usually someone you are not related to by either birth, marriage or from any legal ties that bind you. Normally, a friend may be a casual, close, best, realist, nurturer, motivator or role model friend.

True friends are a real source of self-esteem, affection and good times. In times of despair, true friends will offer hope and comfort. The right friends can help someone feel worthwhile. I find that personally, some of the factors I see in true friends are honesty, faithfulness, loyalty, a good listener, loving, common ideas, and intelligence. These are all characteristics that can be acquired and practiced in a very sincere manner, and I find is dominant in my current friendships with those people that I love and admire.

For example: 90Days2Life has provided me with some of the most amazing friends in the world. They have been my support in the face of calamity and obstacles, the ringing laughter to cure the hearts sorrow, a whispered push in overcoming the smallest of problems, a vital uplifting presence to the 24hrday, a true testimony to the power of steadfast accountability, and a reminder that our humanity is incomplete without love.

@ Angela Ehm – you’re a powerful motivator and your philosophies in life have greatly stimulated my own personal growth.  You continuously search for means of incorporating fitness into your lifestyle and encourage others to do the same.  This is such an admirable attribute, and I cannot thank you enough for being such a standup Gal.

@ Amber Breen - you are my quiet voice, the reassurance that I continuously need.  You always have the right thing to say, and are the calm in every storm.  You have an insight that allows you to relate to others in an affecting and perceptive way; it’s a beautiful gift and I hope you will always hold on to it.

@ Fiona Schonewille - you have an endless energy and drive that can spark anyone’s attention.  Your search for bettering yourself and the goals you have achieved have stimulated everyone’s need to reach higher and make their own mark in 90Days2Life.  You’re the prime example that with work and dedication to one’s self, anything is achievable, no matter what!

@ Sarah Watts - you’re the laughter amongst the chaos, the personable and cheery friend that is always there no matter what. You extend this innate part of you to everyone and anyone, yet are never afraid to express your true thoughts and insights. You’re strong and vibrant, loving and kind; a wonderful person all around, and a wonderful friend!

@ Ashley Ferreira – your sweet disposition and temperance are inevitably the very thing that defines why you are such an amazing person.   You are knowingly beautiful from the inside and out, always seeing the positive side to things, and pushing yourself to attain new goals.  You always think of everyone else, and in your kindness you have a unique ability to see past faults, and instead see successes.  It’s humbling to see you on this journey and call you my friend.

@ Joanne Briggs – your ingenuity and talents in leadership have been such an asset to the group!  You’ve never given up, yet are finding new ways to continuously enhance your experience within the realm of physical fitness.  You’re a great motivator and your input is invaluable; I hope to get to know you better and see your role increase as a facilitator in the group.

@ Maria Ingram - friendship with you is an exciting and adventurous journey.  A go getter you are, steadfast and industrious in everything; life will always be a whirlwind romance with you, an endeavor to push things to the limit, and never forsake oneself in the process.   I love your stubbornness and will to succeed, and for that I thank you for the friend you are!

That being said, friends, especially to me, are important in so many different ways. Friendship affirms and validates in a more distinctive way then even the positive romantic or blood ties; this is so vital throughout life. Therefore, real friendship is very essential to every one of us in our daily lives. Adults and children alike need true friends - new and long-time friends. I believe that each of us need at least one good friend, but to have many is a blessing and should always be a reminder to our existence; we were created for love!

Why I’d like to be Successful?

2011-02-22T10:12:00.000-08:00

In the last few weeks my personal life has become overbearing in many ways. I struggle with anxieties, depression, and lack of sleep daily – yes I’ve hit a low point. What’s even worse is that, not only am I mentally exhausted, my body has reached its limit as well. According to my doctor my body has “burnt out” and I should be taking it “easier” in order to avoid a meeting with the ER anytime soon! Oh Joy!

But that’s not going to stop me, nope – not at all. Funny enough, even though I’m tired, frustrated, sleep deprived, depressed, angry, sad, and waiting for some kind of financial miracle to happen in my life; I am blessed to know that I can accomplish anything that I set my mind to!

The mind, such a powerful tool; and so today, I made a list of the all the reasons I want to be successful:

1. I want to be a self-employed female super mogul who’s a positive example to other women.

2. I want to spend more time with my family & friends.

3. I want to be there to take my kids to school, sports leagues and days at the Zoo.

4. I want to take a vacation at least twice a year, and spend at least 4 days a year on a Ladies trip.

5. I want to be able to have a spa day, go to a retreat, and pamper myself whenever I want to.

6. I want wealth & wisdom in order to create the happiness that will bring balance to my life.

7. I want to go on a Mission trip, start a charity, and build a home for someone.

8. I want my own home; 6 rooms, 2 (guest) suites, all amenities, pool & hot tub, with 2 cottages on the property.

9. I’d like to own a Bed & Breakfast that’s on the ocean and has horses.

10. I’d like to be the chance I wish to see in the world and create a better future for people!

"Don't wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful..." - Mark Victor Hansen

BTW – my lovely Breakfast this morning was: Carnation Breakfast! Yum!

Shape Fitness Challenge

2011-02-21T23:31:00.000-08:00

Oh I sure love a good challenge, but this one has some real Artistic and Social Media tones to it! I love that, I love interactive properties that allow different types of expression, especially when you're using a camera to catalogue your adventures!

So What I'm doing - The Challenge; For 5 days I have been challenged to take a picture of, and post onto facebook, EVERYTHING I eat! I am in the running for winning a free personal training session, so please like my photos, and follow me along on this awesome 5 Days Journey! ... Please join in if interested as well, I think this is a fun way to enjoy your food, and get creative about using Social Media.

Checkout the Shape Fitness Challenge at: http://www.facebook.com/event.

php?eid=190652827622516&index=1

I'd also like to send a big shoutout to Yanick Macdougall who runs Shape fitness for coming up with this brilliant idea! It's so engaging, and I feel like it could get quite viral! In reality this is really going to help you to put your food into perspective.. I doubt you want to be posting pictures of late night chocolate cake, or possibly KFC for breakfast... might not go over well with your supporters.

I think this is a means for some real accountability and self-awareness, so use the opportunity to kick start your lifestyle change into gear, and create some awesome dishes to live by!

Snowboarding Was Wicked!

2011-02-20T10:50:00.000-08:00

7:30AM on a Saturday for a Mom of Two is no surprise, but getting up that early to go Snowboarding was a bit of a challenge. I hadn't been in about 3 years since Kylar, my oldest, was born, and what a thrill! I just needed to get out and get away, this constant working, planning and the kids just get to be a bit much at times. My stress levels seem to also be going up lately, and I'm always making plans, so busier life gets. The escape from the everyday was such a wonderful thing.

Let me tell you though, the Mountain was sooo quiet yesterday morning. Loved that skyride, and the view! How unreal that you can be so in touch with your little world just a skyride away... There's nothing that can describe that upwards feeling, it's almost like release, I felt tension just drain from my body and this adrenaline started coursing through me.

9:30AM - So there I am, first time in ages, thinking "I'm about to die". Trekking my board across the snow and looking for a good spot to get my bindings on and head down the cut. I couldn't believe the amount of snow and amazing sunshine, it was incredible, probably the best day to have gone up - and again, THAT VIEW!

And I'm gone, my boards moving under me - I feel the pressure on my legs already, that deep burning sensation, then the body kicks in and my core locks. People don't realize just how insanely hard your body has to work in balancing itself, and keeping that board in place. I have to say, my legs were a little off at first, but I made it down the first run!...

It got easier after that, and soon I was literally just speeding past people, carving out the snow, doing some 360 spins, and it felt awesome! I had this renewed sense of control and energy. My whole body just kept working and working, best feeling in the world getting your groove back.

In the end it was a day well spent, and an awesome way to exercise. I had an amazing view of the lower mainland, the sun was shinning, and I held it together! I'm hoping that with this first time up in a few years, I'll be able to go a few more times this season, and hopefully convince the other ladies in the group to join in one serious workout!

Weight Loss You Say?

2011-02-17T15:37:00.000-08:00

Ok - so I know there's a bunch of skeptics out there and many people have an aversion to meal replacements, but as of this Friday I’m about to blog weekly about the amazing product called "Reveal" .. it is a Meal Replacement by MonaVie! And Listen – I’ve lost 18lbs to date since 90Days2Life started, and it’s been amazing… in part because of just being dedicated and the other because of changes to my diet.

We're talking 178lbs - 160lbs.. what a change!

Last week I finally started the Reveal shake and I only take it in the mornings, as I’m in a rush trying to get out the door to take my kids to daycare- then it’s off to work and I just don’t have time to eat anything at all! I am continuously searching for improvement in the health & wellness field, and I can’t believe the change!

Here’s a few facts about what we eat… According to various reports published throughout the last few years, five servings of fruits and vegetables are recommended daily so that we can achieve a nutritional balance. This is hard to achieve in an on the go pace that many of us have; most of us are mom’s of 2-4 children. I myself do a lot of food preparation and having my mom around has been really handy but in the all too realistic world, time is our enemy. Many of us have adopted the habit of stopping by drive-thrus, eating out of a box, or doing quick freezer ready dinners.

Our children tend to also mirror our habits and start to also crave grab as you go foods & snacks. Homemade smoothies or healthy alternatives provide a solution by not only giving us the nutrition that our bodies need but can be made to order quickly and taken on the go.

That being said, I feel great! I woke up this morning, looked at myself and said "Jess" you're beautiful and you deserve to be happy with yourself! Just because of a few new incorporations into my eating habits, some positive energy in my life, my moms amazing cooking and the support of a great group, I’ve been able to make some significant changes; weight loss being the ultimate one! So tonight, I’m going to post up my first photo of my Body Image Change, and this will go until August… I will blog weekly and post photos weekly.

I will also be adding information on Nutrition, Exercise, Mental Health, Wellness, and a whole load of wonderful tidbits about your body!.. Keep posted and check for new updates as they come… I think I'll call this My Healthy Diva Posts...

A little Motivation

2011-02-17T10:56:00.000-08:00

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen. You are not only beautiful, but amazing friends. Remember that no matter what the real key to living your purpose is simply to do what you LOVE to do – and be the best person you are meant to be!

Better... Flatter.. Faster.

2011-02-15T11:45:00.000-08:00

The day is off to a good start although I’m not too sure that blogging at work is the best thing in the world, but I am just so damn pumped about life and well, this is therapeutic, so it’s got to legitimately be ruled as some form of self-help; which makes me more productive, right???

In the last week I’ve seen some amazing changes in my body, and it’s a sure thing; eating breakfast makes a world of difference. I’ve been so used to grab-and-go over the last few years that I was never making time to eat anything, or not eating something that’s nutritious. Since I’ve started my RVL shake, lunches with plenty of protein and veggies, and solid dinners with whole foods, it’s been just fantastic.. It keeps me and I just have so much energy!..

That being said, I’ve also been incorporating the P90X some evenings into my routine and I’m getting up in the mornings to kick-start a workout. A little crunches, some pushups, then some stair climbing, all fuel to the ever burning fire that is my metabolism! I can feel it pumping, moving, everything is slowly taking form and I can see my dedication paying off… it’s a good feeling isn’t it, when something works out?

If not for the group and the current situation at home.. along with my taking total control of body, mind, and butt I would not be on this path. In many ways it was the motivation that I needed in order to really jump start the lifestyle change. And how incredible it is! I can’t imagine things being any different, or not having the Wednesday meetings.

I’m more conscious of the things around me, and I’m making choices that are healthy for me and also healthy for my family! That being said, My goal today is to get better, flatter, faster, stronger, happier.. I want to make sure that I’m holding myself accountable, so that I can hold others accountable too. I’m making every effort to learn to put myself first, while also helping those around me to do the same… And I know that if I take good care of me, I can take care of my family…

Think about it, there’s nothing worse than being a grumpy human being.. is there? To be someone that is always upset when you see them, or unhappy with their life for whatever reason. I’m a better mother now then I’ve ever been, and I can also say that it’s due to my growing relationship with God – it’s really personal. I can’t imagine not having someone to wake up to in the morning, or to talk to at the end of a long day. To have someone there who’s going to support me unconditionally and irrevocably forgive me for the trivial life that I lead. It’s humbling and amazing at the same time! I’ve never been in a better place, and so un-selfish about life, then I am now..

I love this quote: “What is your self-concept? To win you must first change the way you see yourself. What pictures do you currently have of yourself in your mind? Find projects you can excel and thrive in. The more you experience successes, the more the Polaroid picture inside of your head begins to change for the better.” ... let it lead your day!