A . A N I Q A . B

THE WOES OF LONG NAILS

noreply@blogger.com (AFRA) — Sat, 09 Feb 2019 15:57:00 +0000

V Nice Amirite?

09/02/2019

It's been 9 hours now that I've gone from very short nails to very long nails. "Ha-ha" you might say. Which means you couldn't possibly know of the state I'm currently in.

So far, the only positives of getting pointy shellac ferrari red nails has been that they look badass, they're great for picking your teeth and that my cats are doubly enthusiastic about neck scratches. That's it.

I didn't exactly think this through...all that was going through my head was "TREAT YOSELF MAMA!". And so, on my way home from Coles, I stopped by at the Fremantle Nail Salon and booked an appointment for the next hour.

If you know know me, you'll know that despite my feminine appearance - I'm far from it. So much so that, my mother used to say that she has three sons not two. Yeah I was the third son lols. Being a tomboy majority of my childhood still affects my knowledge of certain feminine things to this day.

Exhibit A - Nails Salons. I had NO idea what Shellac was until my cousin got married (I was 23yo) - let alone the process. And I was today years old (25yo) when I found out that there was another fake nail type called SNS (I actually googled it to make sure I was right lols). Anyway, you can also get the option of extending your nails with 'tips'. I did that. It took a while before we decided on what to do because the lady was explaining each fake nail type to me.

I settled on shellac cause I wanted short term nails. This whole process just reminded me of sculpting a sculpture tbh. First, they used this tool to smooth out the nail. It reminded me of the tool dentists use to remove plaque (lols) but bigger. Then they super-glued these plastic nail bits, cut them off to the length that I "desired", and filed them into the shape I wanted. Then they used some sort of powder mixed with water and set it onto the nail like a mold. I'm assuming this was the shellac part? Back in again with the plaque remover to shape and a coat of something (base coat?). And then a coat of your colour. Dryer. Another coat of colour. Dryer. Top coat. Dryer. Top Coat. Dryer. Plaque remover tool to clean edges. And $60 later we have pretty nails that goes against any practical lifestyle.

As I walked home, I had transported myself into a 'That's So Raven' reality where I realised the horrors that awaited with these brand new nails of struggle. The biggest one being, how I was going to wipe my butt after pooping. Turns out it's actually not entirelyyy a struggle - you just need to wad up on that tissue paper heaps. However, I did/do find myself struggling to type without errors on my laptop/phone, pick my nose, pick up small items from the floor (i.e. fallen bobby pins) and pop pimples with the fear of breaking off my $60 nails.

I mean it's only been 9 hours. So maybe the worst is yet to come. Will keep you updated though.

much love,

Afra

HOW TO GET INTO A FASHION SHOW FOR FREE

noreply@blogger.com (AFRA) — Mon, 04 Feb 2019 12:28:00 +0000

PART 2: THE CLOSING NIGHT SHOW (14th Sept 2018)

Basically this is a story about how I went from being a volunteer at the Closing Night of a fashion show to sitting in the front row of the show flanked by talented individuals on either side of me. This is a follow on from Part 1 of my experiences attending a fashion show for the first time - you can find that post here.

(Let me start off by saying that I had NO intention to get into a fashion show for free. It kinda just fell in my lap. An opportunistic moment in time led me to this unforgettable experience)

All tickets were sold out.

7.00am:
I went to Facebook to find any sellers, there was one that was selling 2 tickets. I spent an hour scouring my Perth friends list to see if anyone was free. No one was.

11.00am:
I get a call from one of the show organisers that I'd contacted a month ago to volunteer at one of the shows. He tells me he needs volunteers tonight and for me to turn up at 6.00pm and ask for him.

4.30pm:
I rush home, wear some comfy clothes, do my makeup and Uber it to the venue.

5.30pm:
I ask around for the guy, some of the people working there know him but don't know where he is. They tell me to wait.

6.30pm:
I've been messaging, calling and leaving voicemails but am getting no response. At this point I've been sitting in the 'entertainment area' by myself for a while. I felt pathetic and useless because I was essentially just loitering - not even being able to enjoy myself. I didn't know anyone there so I ended up messaging my new blogger friend that I'd met from the Ae'lkemi show, Jo.

7.00pm:
She arrived! And I had a friend! She introduced me to all these other very successful, very empowering women. I was kind of a little worried and didn't want to impose on their friendship group thing but at the same time I was grateful that I was able to have conversation with them :).

9.00pm:
Eventually, the time had come for the show to begin! I was fully panicking. The guy that has asked me to volunteer was still not there...I asked one of the FOH organisers whether he'd come or not and he said that he hadn't but if there was a spare seat available, I'd be able to sit in it!!!!! So then I played the waiting game. Jo and her friends had made their way to their seats and I was left at the entrance waiting.

9.30pm + on:
Literally everyone is seated at this point and I finally get called upon by the FOH guy and he palms me off to this very fashionable looking woman. She exclaims that she absolutely LOVES my blazer and I'm here thinking "thanks? this is from Aliexpress lols". She walks me DOWN THE RUNWAY in front of everyone and lo and behold who do I see with a spare seat next to her in the front row?! JO GOH! She's equally as surprised to see me. The fashionable lady let's me sit next to Jo and introduces me to this guy on the other side of my seat. I don't catch what she says but we shake hands and I get seated. Once she's left, I ask him and his friend what she said and they let me know that she introduced me as an Indonesian Fashion Designer! HAHAHAHAHA. BRO. I'M SHOOKETH. So at this point, I'm sitting next to Jo on my right and Marc Early (a musician) on my left followed by Daniel Romanin (the designer behind One Fell Swoop). WUT WUTTTTT?! How did this happen? How did my life go from no-kay to woah-kay?!

The show began and it was phenomenal. Every. Part. Of. It. Just being in the front row and witnessing the blur of colours and textures fly past you was a whirlwind of adventure.

At the end of the Closing Night, an area of the room was sectioned off for a VIP party. Now, I had no ticket and no wrist band. But my new friends smuggled me in and the night was spent talking about the mysteriously blessed outcome of my night. The girls I met were not only forward thinkers but they were also religious. The last thing I was expecting to talk about at an after party was religious talk and yet we did and it was amazing.

Dress: Ecstasy (Bangladesh)
Scarf: Somewhere in Bangladesh lols
Pants: Somewhere in Bangladesh lols
Blazer: (YOU GUESSED IT) Aliexpress

I really don't know how I found myself in that position. But I did learn that, you must make the most of every opportunity that comes your way. Seize it and make your own destiny. If it presents itself, make the effort to follow through with it. It's crazy knowing that if I were still living at home, I would never have stepped outside the walls of my gilded safe haven. I hope this helps you step out of yours too.

much love,

Afra

MY FIRST EVER FASHION SHOW EXPERIENCE

noreply@blogger.com (AFRA) — Mon, 04 Feb 2019 12:12:00 +0000

Dress: H&M
Coat: Pretty Little Thing
Shoes: Rubi Shoes
Scarf: Bruh idk it's my mum's shawl
Purse: Target (it's actually a pencil case and I got it for $7 on sale!)

I attended two shows: The Ae'lkemi Fashion Show and the Closing Night Fashion Show (I've got a separate blog for this here.). I'll split them up into Part 1 and Part 2 respectively.

NEW BEGINNINGS

As you may or may not know, I uprooted my life in Brisbane, Australia in Aug 2018 to move and work in Perth, Australia - permanently. Things have kind of changed now and I'll be once again uprooting my life in Perth, Australia to move and work in Brisbane, Australia - permanently (lols). But anyway, that's besides the point - you didn't click on this post to witness my ramblings!

A BIG part of me getting this opportunity is because I moved out of home and decided to exercise stepping outside of my comfort zone. As a brown daughter of immigrant parents in the West, it was always a struggle work up the courage to ask for my parent's permission to go out. And once you did, it led to the myriad of (sometimes) irrelevant questions that ended up putting you off from going out and enjoying yourself (I still love you mummy & papa 💗). Having 'fun' was out of question. I ended up finding ways to be content staying at home and became comfortable in that cocoon of naivety. Once I moved out of home, I wanted to burst that bubble. You don't realise it, but it's actually super difficult to live the life of a hermit and then all of a sudden expose yourself to the entire world; it's taxing for the mind and body.

SO, I'd heard about this Telstra Perth Fashion Festival (TPFF) coming up in Perth at the Optus Stadium and was keen but also hesitant about attending. I had to factor in the cost of transport (I have no car), whether or not I could attend a show late night and be able to work the next day (NEED.SLEEP) etc. Logistics. These were some of the hindrances I faced that put me off but eventually I forced myself to just go for it.

Optus Stadium, Perth, Australia.

PART 1: THE AE'LKEMI SHOW (12th Sept 2018)

This is me awkwardly posing before the Ae'lkemi show.

There was a couple of shows on that week and I had attended Ae'lkemi show as an attendee, paid for the ticket and was in absolute awe of everything about it. It's like attending an art exhibit but everything moves! I know for sure that I would never be able to keep a face as straight as a model's or be able to walk with that much confidence in front of a room full of critics. It's truly commendable.

I quickly got home from work, painted my face real quick and took a $30 Uber to the venue at 6.00pm. But wait, rewind to earlier back to 7.00am that morning - I was on IG and commented on a girl's post about the TPFF and she messaged me saying that she knew someone selling 2 tickets and that if I was keen, we could go together 😃.

She couldn't pick them up so I did on my lunch break at 12.00pm. So basically, I found out I was attending the show on the day of it happening lols.

The show started at 9.00pm so I had some time to kill, luckily, the place was filled with cool things to experience! There was a wall filled with balloons of different sizes, a mirrored photo booth room with fresh flowers hanging from the ceiling, a nail painting station, a hair and makeup station and various skincare booths. This place was so cool.

Of course I needed a backshot of the details and a good excuse to hide my double chin.

LITERALLY FRESH HANGING FLOWERS.
Whipped out my Calibar Collection sunnies so I could look as extra as my b/g.

Here I am pretending to be cool.

Here I am getting distracted by someone walking past and (friendly) hollering at me.

My ticket included access to a VIP room with a complimentary drink (time 2 get wilddd...jks I'm muslim) so I made my way there. And OMG, imagine a scene from Gossip Girl where they're at some party decked out in floor length gowns and tailored suits- that's exactly what it was. There was a live DJ and there was all these coloured lights doing that strobe-y thing they do. Waiters came around with carefully crafted finger foods that I usually couldn't eat cause what is halal again?

I couldn't stay for long but my oh my did I feel out of place! I was in awe of it all but at the same time I just knew that it wasn't me. I think this event actually taught me a lot about where I stand. You always deep down wonder what it would be like to hang out with people that are 'up there' and think that maybe you'd enjoy. But I guess that's not always the case.

I rushed down to the foyer and handed over the extra ticket to my newfound fashion show buddy and we made our way into the 'entertainment area' where all the hair and makeup was being done.

Eventually, the hour was nigh, although we waited half an hour before anything happened. Apparently, it's a normal thing for fashion shows to be late.

Post-show. Everyone's rushing out the door and I'm taking it all in.

The night ended late and everyone seemed to leave as soon as the show finished but I was reeling and hyped up on adrenaline - it was such an experience for lil' ol' naive me. On the way out, I actually ended up meeting with Perth blogger Jo Goh (@theglamwhisperer on IG) in the parking lot and we exchanged numbers. This was so unexpected and I was like could this night get any better? It didn't really...Leaving for home at 11.00pm wasn't ideal and I was royally rekt.

Makeup Selfie as soon as I got home 4 da memz. Jks I was feeling cute das why.

I was exhausted by the end of it but I took every chance I got! Find Part 2 to this story here where I find myself attending a fashion show for free & getting smuggled into the VIP After Party. Good times.

much love,

Afra

WHITE FEVER

noreply@blogger.com (AFRA) — Sun, 03 Feb 2019 12:04:00 +0000

You've all heard of 'Yellow Fever' right? No I'm not talking about the viral disease spread by the the bite of an infected female mosquito (refer Wikipedia). I'm talking about"when someone is sexually attracted to Asians to an obsessive degree" (refer Urban Dictionary). The 'someone' in definition generally extends to the white male variety. Well, this post is about the opposite of Yellow Fever which I've dubbed to be 'White Fever'.

White Fever is not necessarily always a fetishised attraction, but more of a deep-seeded fascination that plays into the notion of 'whites being the superior race'. For some, taking their white partner back to their home countries is praiseworthy and seen as an accomplishment. That sounds....horrible. It's degrading for both the non-white and white individuals. It sets up unreasonable expectations that some may not be able to deliver (e.g. when a son/daughter immigrates to a Western country, they are expected to send money back home, because they are now seen as of status and wealth.)

Having a white partner is a sign of wealth and prosperity for some families. I think it boils down to wanting to have 'a good healthy, wealthy life'. Seeing as most Asian countries are classed as third world, it makes sense as to why they see white as elite. They see someone that lives a more comfortable life and want that for themselves. But that is no excuse.

I'll often come across non-white individuals that say, I only prefer white men/women. Now, it could be a preference, or it could be something more...messed up. I say this because some of the same people that declare exclusivity to white people only as partners also denounce the men and women in their own culture, despite being brought up in a Non-Western country.

A predominant trait in Asia is that white folk and the Western World is glorified. White people are held on a pedestal whilst the rest of the country worships them at their feet. If you're white and you happen to be travelling in an Asian country, and you notice blatant stares towards your direction, it's not because your shirt is stained with tomato sauce, it's because you are the most gorgeous commodity that has graced their presence.

As the child of an immigrant in the West, it feels like another round of White Privilege but this time, it's my own people that are encouraging and influencing it. The difference is that people like me want to become an equal by staying true to our culture and heritage and people like them want to become equal by becoming someone they're not.

P.S. These are musings based on my experiences and observations. I'm sure there are several other opinions and objections to my perception and I accept them wholeheartedly.

much love,

Afra

PEEING ON A BUDGET

noreply@blogger.com (AFRA) — Sat, 02 Feb 2019 09:12:00 +0000

Hi,

Firstly, let me introduce myself to you, my name is Afra or alternatively you may know me as that-girl-that-pees-a-lot-at-work. To be quite frank, I have no idea why I am writing about this or how my brain, that goes a million miles per hour decided to think about this one thing. I do, however, think that this NEEDS to be said, spread and acknowledged. There’s always talk about pooping during work hours but we never talk about peeing.

I remember early into my full-time job, I was putting out a FYI disclaimer to my colleague that I peed a lot so it wouldn’t be such a big deal when you know…I got up to pee again and again and again and again. Sometimes it’s due to the aircon, sometimes it’s my water intake, sometimes idek. But it definitely is an absolute PAIN in the poophole (not literally relax). My current office is only comprised of a handful of people and so when you get up to pee, stage fright is 10x worse because, A. Less people means less distractions & more attention to any sudden movements (i.e. YOU GETTING UP TO PEE) and B. It just is OKAY.

And you know it’s not just the action, it’s the time consuming thought process that often lasts for minutes on end (minutes that are absolutely painful for a bursting bladder!). I’m constantly battling with my own thoughts or pretending to answer a judgy corporate body; “Should I go now or in like 15mins?”, “omg everyone’s going to notice…”, “here we go, time to walk of shame; twice”, “WHY DO I PEE SO MUCH?!??!!111”, “I promise, I’m not doing it on purpose- I really just want to work pee-free!”, “ughh time’s up, if you gotta go, you gotta go”.

If you think about it, that’s a lot of time devoted to worrying about peeing and peeing in addition to it being a disruption to your work. Let’s do the math for a worst case scenario:

Estimated time to (walk to bathroom + do a long pee + wash hands + cringe at your reflection in the mirror + walk back to desk) = 10mins approx.

Estimated lead time of worry, anxiety and despair prior to peeing = 15mins approx.

Estimated time needed to snap back into focus at work post-pee = 10mins approx.

Total Time = 35mins

Say we pee every hour in an 8hr work day = 35 x 8 = 280mins = 4.6667hrs

= 5hrs approx./day

Ummmmmmmm WHAT IN TARNATION?!?! 5 flipping hours? I was not expecting that. Numbers honestly put everything into perspective. And that would make it a grand total of 25hrs in a 40hr average working week. I mean this is worst case scenario (with a lot of anomalies) but still...I’m shook.

So, what now? Looks like there’s a large portion of our time being devoted to relieving ourselves at the company’s expense as well. Does that mean we have to stay back an extra 5hrs at work? I mean it’s not something we can control and we’ll eventually cave in despite trying to manipulate the situation. Or maybe being aware will encourage mindfulness when it comes to working efficiently. I was definitely not prepared for this and now know for sure that I’ll be taking *pees stressfully* to a whole other level.

Spell 'I CUP' and then say 'like a waterfall'. hehehe.

much love,

Afra

WORLD HIJAB DAY

noreply@blogger.com (AFRA) — Fri, 01 Feb 2019 11:51:00 +0000

Here's a major throw back to an 18yo Afra in 2011 - 3 months in to wearing the hijab.

Okay, so apparently there's this day where people celebrate me and other women covering majority of their bodies - um wut? First things first - I had NO idea this day existed. But I guess it's kinda cool that people are talking about it? But also, I am confused. Like what is hijab in a societal sense?

Most muslims know that hijab covers all tenets of character, dresscode and way of life men and women. But obviously, the woman, is scrutinised for *suprise suprise*, how she dresses, how she covers her hair, whether she is wearing jeans with her hijab (lols) etc. The criticism is from varying degrees of opinions of 'modesty'.

There once was a dawat that my mother went to and an immigrant hijabless woman in her early to mid thirties commented on how girls that wear the hijab with jeans might as well just take the scarf off. To that, my mother retorted, 'the young girls that are choosing to cover their hair, are doing so in a western society. They endure far more pressures than we ever did in our youth. At least they are trying to do the right thing - what are we doing?'. Now I wasn't present but I had recently started wearing the hijab and do wear jeans with my scarf (oh pls condemn me pls). But I really appreciated how my mother responded, in fact, I didn't even realise that people thought this way about the constructs of wearing hijab.

I started covering when I was 17 in 2011. Back then, it wasn't as popular as it is today. It was a rare occurance for a girl my age to willingly start covering in her youth as hijab was perceived to be uncool, untrendy and an oppressor. In some parts of the world, it sadly still is. And then suddenly, it evolved into this crazy hijab positive movement where more and more girls were covering and meshing hijab with style. This wasn't accepted by some; hijab was never supposed to be a fashion thing. To them hijab was being abused when worn differently/incorrectly. However, many welcomed it. Despite the disagreement from selective muslims, Western companies were/are introducing modesty in their clothing lines, 'hijabi influencers' was on the rise and the notion of modesty was really integrating into Western society. Those that didn't cover wanted to cover now cause it was so very cool to. And then there was a plateau. A different type of hijab was introduced to the climate, that caused absolute uproar - I call it the 'the sun's out bangs out hijab'. Some thought it was cool, others thought it to be blasphemy. That carried on for a while and still exists to this day. But now, the tables have turned entirely, hijab is no longer the trend it used to be (wut wutt!?). Influencers and young girls are taking off their scarves.

'What. Happened.' thought everyone.

I think the tumultuous perception of hijab in the physical societal sense clearly suggests that it is a culture that is cultivated in the environment it is bred in. Whether it is Western, Asian, Middle Eastern, African or a fusion of all, it is something that is ever changing. There are most definitely reasons behind women wearing hijab a certain way or choosing to take off. Some serious and some not but we will truly never know. Some boil down to comfort, culture, discomfort, fashion trend, a bad experience, negativity from US - the critics (like that unkind aunty lol) dissuading them etc.

So, where do we draw the line? Can we pinpoint a definitive line? Are the turban wearers that cover their hair safe cause at least they don't simultaneously show their bangs? Or are we going to give free passes to proper hijab wearers that wear jeans but anything more drastic than that is a cardinal sin? Modesty in Islam had always been a gradual process (i.e. modest wear > hijab > jilbab/burqa > niqab) just like imaan. It's just that in this day and age there seems to be more steps in the process.

Bottom line is, hijab has devolved significantly, in the character sense. It's time we let it go, let people do what they want and accept the fact that it is a very real product of our environment and generation. Be steadfast in your beliefs, and if you falter, go back to where it all began. Be yourself unapologetic-ally but constantly try to better yourself. Practice less haram policing and more minding our own businesses-ing. For me before you, always.

much love,

Afra