Living Behind Bars

Fuzzy Math

noreply@blogger.com (Jayk Kreider) — Fri, 30 May 2008 10:50:00 -0400

In the town of Burlington, North Carolina, you can find a little redneck bar[1] called Buffalo’s. Buffalo’s stands out in Burlington for only one reason, as far as I can tell: it is actually open until 2 A.M.[2] One January night, I stopped in this horrible, little dive for a Miller Lite. Of course, that Miller Lite turned out to be four. After my fourth, I decided to pretend to be a responsible person and ask for my tab, and here is what I was told:

“Those four Miller Lites are three bucks a piece…unless you drink a fifth; then your bill will come to $10.68.”

That, my friends, is an excellent example of fuzzy math.

By looking at all the people I know in this world, I can get a pretty accurate cross-section of Americana. I know waiters and doctors and teachers and engineers and salesman and students and construction workers and on and on; folks who come from money and those who have never had any; gay men and fat women and everything in between. Catholics and atheists and Jews and Muslims[3], both practicing and not-all this diversity should allow me to understand patterns in the larger populace by examining the habits of those close to me.

According to this logic, roughly 71% of the American public snort cocaine on a regular basis. 60% used unhealthy amounts of ecstasy in college, and 100% have smoked pot at least ten times[4]. 82% of folks only drink on days that end in ‘y,’ and 39% of those people think it is perfectly safe to drive extremely drunk with a cup of wine in the cup holder, as long as it is done during the day. [5]

Of course, none of these statistics are actually true, but I believe them. Alcoholic-Addicts have a habit of assuming the general population is as degenerate as the people around them; we fail to recognize that we attract only the lowest common denominators of society into our inner circles. This gives us an extremely skewed view of our actions; we assume if everybody we know acts a certain way, then everybody on the planet does too-they just don’t admit it.

Fuzzy math, however, is not relegated to the dregs of society; everyone practices some form of it. My favorite example, one that invariably pops up whenever there is a spike in gas prices, is the list of what everyday liquids would cost if we extrapolated their current price into price per gallon. For instance, a gallon of maple syrup would cost $40, a gallon of shampoo would run $94, and a gallon of Starbucks coffee would eclipse the GDP of most developed countries. The hack journalists who throw these articles together overlook the fact that I don’t need a fucking gallon of Starbucks to get to fucking Starbucks. I don’t use that much shampoo in a year, and I’m pretty sure only Canadians buy maple syrup by the gallon.

My generation has built it’s entire worldview and self-identity on this concept of making artificial connections. We are the first generation to be told from birth that we are special, unique, talented individuals who can achieve anything as long as we have that “Can-Do Spirit”.[6] Our school systems are based on the idea of preparing every student for college, even though most of the students in those public systems will have careers that require no special skill or training beyond a three-hour orientation VHS.

[1] One of the many reasons I consider it a redneck bar: the fucking thing is in the parking lot of a Wal-Mart

[2] Everywhere else closes at one…even on the weekends

[3] Happy Ramadan, Ali! Sunset’s at 5:37

[4] 57% still smoke on a regular basis

[5] These people have obviously never been in Laurice White’s car headed to Crabtree on Christmas Eve morning…scariest experience of my entire life. Not recommended.

[6] This is the actual motto of my middle school, Broadview. It was relentlessly pounded into our heads on a daily basis-even as we were separated into “Gifted” and “non-Gifted” classrooms

First Post In Forever...Chronicles of living alone

noreply@blogger.com (Jayk Kreider) — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 23:53:00 -0400

Ah, it's been awhile. Almost a year, actually. As of August 1, I live alone for the first time in my entire life. I had a huge family growing up, and have had at least one, but usually more, roommates since I left for college in '98. So, this should be an interesting experiment. I'll get into everything that's gone on since last November in a later post, but I decided not to pick up anymore roommates. I just turned 27 on Thursday, and they say everybody should live alone at some point in their life. I'm realizing it makes me weird...I talk to the TV more, and my dog Onyx gets talked to non-stop. I think she's trying to figure out how to communicate "Shut the fuck up" in dog-speak. I'm also more liberal with smoking in the house with no roommates; ironic, since I was always the hard-ass when it came to that.

Anyway, there's my first post. More to come...

Theory Of Evolution

noreply@blogger.com (Jayk Kreider) — Sun, 26 Nov 2006 22:20:00 -0500

Scared Clients, Court Orders, and Practice Girls

noreply@blogger.com (Jayk Kreider) — Thu, 23 Nov 2006 00:24:00 -0500

Wow, what a pretty much worthless day. Fucking H.M. (one of my clients) called this morning to tell me not to bother driving down there (thank God she called, it's an hour and a half away) because her kids scared her out of investing with me AGAIN. Bastards. So, I slept in til 9:30, then had to deal with all the landlord bullshit all morning. They had a fucking summons at my door, because they say I didn;t give enough proof that I paid rent. A bank statement isn't proof enough?

Anyway, avoiding court means paying them $1200 next week, on top of the $1100 in rent that's gonna be do. On top of that, my office closed early, so I can't submit business until Friday, meaning that I won't get any money until next Thursday. Damn.

noreply@blogger.com (Jayk Kreider) — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 16:18:00 -0500

Lessons From Vietnam?

New Job Update

noreply@blogger.com (Jayk Kreider) — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 22:06:00 -0500

I just realized that my last work-related post (which is what this blog was originally about) was written right after I had made my first sale at my company. Since then I have led the office for three of those 7 months (with 3 months where I didn't do shit but party my pain away), and I am in the top 3 or 4 every other month. I feel I'm the best salesman in our office; my main problem is I'm such a damn slacker.

If I need to make three grand in two days, I can do it (just did, actually), but then when I do, I fucking coast until I'm back in the hole. Money's never been enough to motivate me off the couch, and I can't seem to break that habit.

I like sales, but I'm damn sure glad I'm in a business where what I sell actually helps the people I sell it to...I never have to feel like a fucking pusher, which is nice.

Back Again!

noreply@blogger.com (Jayk Kreider) — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 21:59:00 -0500

Well, damn! I haven't posted since APRIL, and for pretty good reason. Roughly two weeks before I proposed, my girl left me, and then I found out she was cheating with one of our friends...nice. Anyway, I subsequently sank into quite a bit of a black hole, and didn't do much other than try to make it through the day.

Well, turns out life is pretty damn good by myself, which I always thought before, but forgot from the view inside what I thought would be my last relationship.

It wasn't easy getting back to this place, though...I almost lost my job due to lack of giving a shit, I reverted back to my 20-year-old self, which meant doing lots of coke, drinking way too much, and generally just being self-destructive. I'll tell stories from those few months sprinkled into my posts, because I am sure anyone who happens to read this will be pretty entertained.

For right now though, I'm gonna leave it at that.

Peace.

Technorati : Raleigh, bartender, cocaine
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43 Things : Raleigh, bartender, cocaine

Dell is completely and utterly full of shit

noreply@blogger.com (Jayk Kreider) — Wed, 26 Apr 2006 22:17:00 -0400

Well, the last post was a conversation I had almost a month ago with a Dell rep about a refund they owe me on work they didn't do- and they STILL haven't refunded me. On top of that, my laptop is having the same problem they supposedly fixed!

Anyway, work is going well; I broke $10K this month, which is still only my second full month with the company. (Actually it is only my second month in the industry)

My buddy David is thinking of coming to work there, which is cool, but at the same time, I worry that if he doesn't like it or immediately feel success, then he could think I misrepresented things. I've tried to show him the worst parts of the job so there won't be any surprises, but, who knows?

Maggie turned 22 on 4/20 (great birthday, I know). I bought her an Olympus digital camera; here are some of the first pictures we took: (They are lower quality than the 7.1 MP it can do, because I forgot to pick up a memory card)

Technorati : Dell sucks
43 Things : Dell

Long Time No Post

noreply@blogger.com (Jayk Kreider) — Fri, 24 Mar 2006 00:14:00 -0500

Well, it has been forever since I've posted anything, due in part to being busy as hell, and the video card on my laptop going out. Anyway, work has been great. It was pretty overwhelming at first, but I am starting to adjust to the schedule. More on that later.

Most importantly, Duke got knocked out of the NCAA tournament tonight. LSU pretty much made them look like bitches, which was just terrible to watch. How depressing.

So, I am going to make an effort to writing regularly again. Starting tomorrow. :)

2 Year Anniversary, My First Sale

noreply@blogger.com (Jayk Kreider) — Mon, 27 Feb 2006 18:38:00 -0500

Maggie and I had our two-year anniversary yesterday! We stayed pretty low-key, since she has been sick as hell since around Thursday or so. We are going to go to the Cosmopolitan for dinner this Saturday, and maybe a movie before that. I can't believe it has been two years; it seems like less than that and much longer at the same time.

The lady I spoke about in my last post, Louise, bought some Home Health care coverage from me last week, which was my first close of a client that I contacted and developed completely on my own, which is fucking awesome. Home Health and Long-Term care (LTC) are probably the most important products we sell, with almost 60% of people over age 65 needing that type of care at some point in their lives. LTC runs about $150 per day in this area, so without some type of coverage, bills can add up very quickly.

I also got an application for a Medicare Supplement policy today, but his wife had his checkbook, so I couldn't get the first month's premium. I don't know if that was true or bullshit, but either way I am heading back on Wednesday to get a check.

I had one no-show and one reschedule today, which sucks, but if I can get the no-show to reschedule for Thursday, my booking will be in pretty good shape. I already have a 9AM for Wednesday, plus the rescheduled 6PM on Thursday. If I add that no-show, plus the trip to pick up the check for the MedSupp, I only need to book 6 tomorrow. That is still tough, but much more do-able than ten.

Last week I made $1132 (my first solo week!), and this week I am set up to make $430, with two more days in the field. So far, this job is starting off fucking rolling.

Technorati : Bankers, Long-Term Care, Maggie, Medicare

Training with Bankers, Heading Out On My Own, J.J. Redick

noreply@blogger.com (Jayk Kreider) — Tue, 21 Feb 2006 19:16:00 -0500

Wow, what a week. It's been awhile since I've written, and that is mainly because I have been working so much during the week, getting acclimated to the new schedule, and making up for lost beers on the weekend.

As far as training went, things started out pretty slow. It basically taught me the lesson of qualifying my appointments-making sure that they have the health, money, and decision-making abilities to be worth talking to. Once I got a little better at that, things started taking off (not to mention that Steve was setting some of the appointments, which helped greatly). All in all, between Thursday and Monday, I made roughly a thousand dollars. I also have a second meeting with a lady on Thursday, where I hope to add another five to eight hundred to that total. All in all, not too bad of a start.

I was right, though, that the challenge comes with actually making the appointments. I only set three today, so I am heading back into the office tomorrow morning to try to finish filling up the next few days. Starting tomorrow, I am on my own.

J.J. Redick, by the way, is ri-fucking-diculous. At the start of the year, everybody was talking about his outside chance at catching Johnny Dawkins on Duke's all-time scoring list. Now, with four games left in the year, he is one game away from being the all-time ACC leader, after already breaking the national three-point record. Unbelievable!

Del.icio.us : Bankers Life, Duke, JJ Redick

Real Work Begins

noreply@blogger.com (Jayk Kreider) — Mon, 13 Feb 2006 20:34:00 -0500

Well, I made it through the week of training, and Friday I started doing some of the actual work of my new career. On Friday, at least, that consisted of making 170 phone calls, 145 of which were either Do Not Calls, or No Answers. Of the 25 people I actually talked to, I set 2 appointments, which I though was pretty good. Of course, I needed to set 5, so that was well below my goal. I am apparently pretty good on the phone for someone just starting, and Steve gave me some better leads that I would have had to wait for some more experience to get.

Today, Steve and I went out on the road to meet with all of the appointments, and I got to learn how imprtant it is to qualify the people I talk to. Two of our three didn't show, and the next one was completely ghetto. Steve is a damn good teacher, and I am gonna really try to just follow his training. My natural tendency is to tweak things to fit what I think is the best model, and with this, I am making an effort to just learn what is taught to me, and learn it well.

Today I made 84 calls, got ahold of 24 people, and set one appointment. Steve already had two, so tomorrow I have to set 11. Fucking tough, I gotta say, but not impossible. Like my dad always said, "Ain't nothin' to it but to do it."

More on Bankers Life

noreply@blogger.com (Jayk Kreider) — Thu, 9 Feb 2006 23:50:00 -0500

Today was both the most boring and the most exciting day of training. The boring side came from five hours of video training on selling annuities. The material wasn't neccessarily boring, but just the fact that it was five hours of video with no give and take really wears my head down.

Ironically, the exciting part turned out to be our time on the phones. I actually scheduled two appointments for Monday! (Of course, in my excitement, I scheduled them for the same time!) I only dialed 19 numbers, and five of those were either busy signals or answering machines. Now, I know it is going to get tougher and more frustrating than that, but it damn sure feels good to start out with some confidence-building results.

New Katie came over tonight and cooked with Maggie and me. She brought her little lab puppy, Gus, who looks just like Onyx used to. Maggie made home-made pesto, pork chops, mashed potatoes, and asparagus with hollandaise. Fucking awesome! :)

Tomorrow is going to come early. In the morning we work on the phones with our managers, then finish training the rest of the day. Oh- another bonus from today was that I got paired with Steve as my Field Trainer and immediate manager. He did some training, and is obviously really damn good at this job. His mannerisms and style match well with how I want to conduct myself while at Bankers. I was hoping he was who I got paired with. Everything's coming up Milhouse!

Duke-Carolina; Midweek at Bankers Life

noreply@blogger.com (Jayk Kreider) — Wed, 8 Feb 2006 20:26:00 -0500

Life is good :) Duke held on to beat Carolina last night. My boy from college, David, and Luna John came over to watch it with me, and I don't think any of us have either fingernails or much of a liver left. I actually didn't go to bed until almost 3 AM, so I was fucking exhausted at work this morning.

Speaking of work, training is going well- I think I am gonna be pretty damn good at this, once I get it down. I got business cards today, and my background check came back. The possession of paraphernalia from a few years ago was on there, which was a relief to find was not that big of a deal, since it was only a misdemeanor.

Anyway, more later...

Pictures From Katy Shea's Birthday

noreply@blogger.com (Jayk Kreider) — Mon, 6 Feb 2006 18:20:00 -0500

Here are some pictures from Kanki:

Me with Maggie, Ali, Caroline, and Emma

Katy and her sister Kerri

Maggie and I (with my mouth full!)

All the Girls

Close Game, State Exam

noreply@blogger.com (Jayk Kreider) — Sat, 4 Feb 2006 18:29:00 -0500

Well, what a Saturday! Last night Katy's parents took us all to Kanki, which was absolutely fantastic. We stopped back at the Pub afterwards for a drink, then came home and passed the fuck out. Maggie and I got up at 11 or so this morning, and I made everybody omelets.

Duke played Florida State at noon, which was a nail-biter to say the least. Right after that, I had to go take my final state licensing exam, this on for Medicare Supplement and Long-Term Care Insurance. I passed, and had the second-worst picture ever taken (the first being on my Life & Health License).

Maggie just left for work, and I have the house to myself all night.

Course Exam, Katy Shea's birthday

noreply@blogger.com (Jayk Kreider) — Fri, 3 Feb 2006 13:18:00 -0500

Well, Maggie and I got up and drove two hours to Winston-Salem so I could take the course exam needed to qualify for the state exam. I passed! (By the skin of my teeth!) I could miss 18 questions and I missed 16, but, still, not bad for cramming a ten hour class into under five hours of independent study time. I take the state exam tomorrow at 3PM.

Today is our roommate Katy Shea's 23rd birthday; we are all going to dinner tonight and then out after that.

Back From the Gym, Getting Ready To Study

noreply@blogger.com (Jayk Kreider) — Thu, 2 Feb 2006 21:40:00 -0500

Maggie and I just worked out for a little over an hour. Capitol Fitness just got these new NordicTrac Elliptical machines that about killed me. In twenty minutes I wore myself out as much or more than 45 minutes on the old ones.

I am about to start a marathon study session for this course exam tomorrow. I have to make a 70 on it to get a certificate, which I need to get into the state exam I already paid for. Almost done, though!

However, my car is obviously not going to work- that is the next obstacle to starting this new career. More on that later...

Duke-BC; State Licensing Exam

noreply@blogger.com (Jayk Kreider) — Thu, 2 Feb 2006 14:38:00 -0500

Damn, what a game! Duke barely held on to beat Boston College last night- awesome game!

I passed my Life & Health Exam this morning! Now I have to drive to Winston tomorrow morning for the school exam, then turn right around and take my state MedSupp exam here in Raleigh. this shit is wearing me out!

It's Been Awhile...

noreply@blogger.com (Jayk Kreider) — Wed, 1 Feb 2006 16:46:00 -0500

Whew! It has been a long couple of weeks! After the licensing class last week, I have had all this additional online learning material shit to every day this week, on top of signing up for the Medicare/LTC class (also online). I take the Life & Health state exam tomorrow afternoon, then drive to Winston on Friday for the end-of-course exam for MedSupp/LTC. Then, I have to turn right around and take that state exam on Saturday or Sunday so I can start work on Monday. Damn!

On top of all that, Maggie and I had a big fight on Sunday, which always sucks. We don't fight very often, and when we do, it is usually directly related to alcohol. Sunday was just a matter of her getting tired of being the only one in the relationship making any money, which I totally understand. I asked her before I committed to this if she would be okay with that for awhile, and her automatic response is that it's ok, she supports me. Which, don't get me wrong, is great, but it would be nice if she would admit up front that it would cause problems, which I think we both knew at the time it would. She still supports me, but money stresses get to her more than anything. Hell, they get to me, too. I certainly don't like feeling like one of those boyfriends who leeches of their girlfriend, but I also feel that this period is an exception.

We both knew that there would be this period of growing pains for each of us at some point- for me, when I got out of the bar industry, and for her when she graduates and starts looking for a job. I think it's better for me to go through this down time financially while she is still in school drawing aid, that way I can be earning enough to support her after she graduates.

It just really cuts deep when the person you rely on as your support base makes you feel like you're a burden. But I know she doesn't mean it like that; it's just stress.

On a lighter note, Duke plays at Boston College tonight at 9PM. These games would be much less stressful if I didn't have $175 worth of bets that Duke goes undefeated through ACC play. Seven-down, Nine-to-go, but MAN is it stressful.

Technorati : Boston College, Duke

Class is over! Duke-Virginia

noreply@blogger.com (Jayk Kreider) — Sat, 28 Jan 2006 18:58:00 -0500

Well, it's been about a week since I have logged in to this thing at all. Class pretty much wiped me out everyday, for a couple of reasons. The state of North Carolina requires you to take forty hours of instruction before even attempting the state licensing exam for Life, Health, and Annuities. First of all, I've been bartending for 5 years, which means getting home aroung 6 AM, not getting up at 6. That shit is gonna take some major getting used to! Then, classes ran from 8 until 5:30 every day, which wears your brain out by about Thursday. The instructor was great though; really kept it as interesting as possible. I am about to sign up for an exam, probably for Tuesday.

Then, next Thrusday and Friday, I have to somehow get to Winston-Salem for the Medicare Supplement and Long-Term Care classes. More on that later.

Duke and Virginia start playing in two minutes, so I'll write more later.

State Licensing Class; Duke's 1st loss

noreply@blogger.com (Jayk Kreider) — Sun, 22 Jan 2006 23:40:00 -0500

Tomorrow I start the beginning of two weeks in class to get the licenses required for working at Bankers. It runs 8AM-5:30 all this week, with the exam on Tuesday. Then, I have two days training in Winston-Salem, followed by another exam the next day. I start training on February 6. Hell, yeah.

Duke posted its first loss of the season yesterday against Georgetown. They are 17-1. Somebody had to get them; I suppose it is good it was out of conference. Eric from the Duck and Dumpling told me a cool stat tonight: every year that Duke has posted their first loss against an unranked opponent, they have won the national title. Go Duke!

LET's....GO....DUKE....LETSGODUKE!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Jayk Kreider) — Wed, 18 Jan 2006 22:17:00 -0500

Ah, NC State; such high hopes, such low results. Losers. :)

That's all I have to say right now; I am dropping links to some earlier articles....

Purpose of the Blog

Thoughts On the Art of Bartending

Technorati : Blue Devils, Duke, NCSU, Wolfpack
43 Things : Blue Devils, Duke, NCSU, Wolfpack

Bankers Life, NCSU @ Duke

noreply@blogger.com (Jayk Kreider) — Wed, 18 Jan 2006 14:33:00 -0500

The interview at Bankers Life went great yesterday; they basically offered me the job. I go in on Friday to try and set up a schedule for getting licensed in North Carolina. Woo-hoo!

NC State comes to Duke tonight at 7PM. They have probably the best chance of beating the Blue Devils of anybody in the ACC this season. Truth be told, I am a little nervous (especially because of my stupid $175 bet that Duke would remain undefeated in the ACC this year).

But I'll never tell a State fan that! :)

Technorati : Blue Devils, Duke, NCSU, Wolfpack

Bankers Life Interview #2; Working Out

noreply@blogger.com (Jayk Kreider) — Tue, 17 Jan 2006 13:07:00 -0500

I just got back from running and lifting a few weights at the gym. I am consistently running 40 minutes on the elliptical machine; which burns around 675 Calories, according to the machine. I try to keep my heart rate between 157 and 170. Last night, Maggie and I did yoga again, and I am starting to see why people get so addicted to it. When I start the class I am so tight and inflexible, but by the end I just feel like I could melt into the floor. What a great stress-reliever!

I have my second interview at Bankers Life at 3PM today. I spent the morning researching the company and coming up with interview questions. I'll post how it went in a bit.