Hope everyone is doing well and had a great Halloween! As you can see, I was “Sexy Chef,” and had a nice weekend other than getting sick Saturday evening and ending up having to stay in. Good thing I had lots of fun at my friend’s party the night before.

If there are still any readers out there, stay tuned. It’s been super hectic for me lately, with my last year of law school and all, but I finally have something that I really want to blog about and share, so I’ll be making some time in the coming days to write up a post.

Cheers, lovelies!

View from the deck...

A few thoughts/updates/reflections:

• We had a 5 hour delay on our flight here. Thankfully they stopped boarding before we got on. I feel bad for those people that spent 2+ on the plane.

• My sinuses are relentless and have no manners. NYC was 85+ degrees and about 90% humidity when we left, so I wasn’t surprised that my sinuses were driving me crazy. WA is 75 degrees and about 30% humidity, with fresh clean air, but my sinuses are still driving me nuts. What gives?!?

• You need a car to get anywhere. Seriously.

• We’re going to Seattle today, the Mister is taking the NDBE (National Dental Board Exam) tomorrow. Wish him luck!

Fast forward a year and it’s amazing how things have changed. My parents and I obviously still don’t agree on some aspects of how I live my life, but time and distance have definitely brought around improvements. Now that I’m living in NYC, I’m no longer a mile away from my parents, no longer can I drop in to say hi, and no longer am I expected to do so. While my parents may not necessarily approve of my living situation, they do respect and admit that the Mister is a kind, caring, responsible guy, and they have a much better connection with him than they had with my ex (there was no connection).

My dad’s birthday was last Friday, and the whole family got together (family = mom, dad, older sister, younger brother, nephew, aunt) along with me and The Mister for dinner in NJ. My dad told me the next day that it was one of the best birthday he’s ever had. I brought individual cupcakes from Crumbs (www.crumbs.com – they are HUGE) for everyone in lieu of a birthday cake, and the food at the restaurant was amazing. Everyone was talking with everyone, and for a few hours we all enjoyed ourselves without worry. After dinner and dessert, while we were taking pictures (my family loves to take pictures), my dad called The Mister to get into a picture, remarking, “Oh, let’s get my future son-in-law in here!”

Despite all of this, I know that there are still difficulties that I will experience in my relationship with my parents, but over time I find that I am less worried about that. Yes, my parents are nice to The Mister and inquire about him and genuinely like him a lot, but that doesn’t change the fact that they can’t accept that he’s not Muslim and choose to ignore that I’m not either. At the end of the day though, I have to live my life for myself and be honest to myself and those around me. My parents may never come to terms with how I choose to live my life, and that’s their prerogative, but it’s my hope that despite that, we can have some kind of relationship. Over the past 2.5 years since I’ve started this blog, finding that balance has become a bit more attainable and a bit easier.

All in all, I’ve found that I worry less about what my parents think and how they respond and focus more on my future and the relationship and friendships that I have. Instead of worrying about whether my parents will ever truly accept me, and maybe even forcing it on them, I’ve begun to move beyond that and have realized that it makes life so much easier. Instead of trying to change my parents mind, I’ve found it’s a lot easier and more rewarding to just enjoy my life and share the happiness that I have. If you see less posts about my parents and Islam and all that, you know why. I’m starting to move beyond this.

In other news, I’ll be leaving for Washington State this Saturday with the Mister. He’s taking the National Dental Board Exam Part 1 in Seattle on the 29th (wish him luck!), so we’re going to go visit his parents and escape and relax by the lake for a little before coming back to New York and starting school, etc. This will my last year of law school, and it will be nice to get away before I go balls to the wall!

The first and probably most important change I’ve been considering is the name of this blog. I know I’ve probably mentioned this before, but I think it’s time for a new name. I originally started this blog to make sense of a situation I was in and to address my long repressed feelings on religion, and while I think the name was appropriate (although not necessarily a true representation of the situation), I don’t feel that the name is right for the type of posting I want to do now. Of course I’ll still talk about love, and about religion, but I want to make this more of a general focus blog, a place where I can just post about things that interest me, confuse me, etc. There will obviously still be a focus on religion (or the lack of) in many of my posts (and yes, I hope to post more often), but as I enter my 3L year in law school, I want to post more about my experiences in the law, and the concerns and trials I have before, such as getting a job in this economy, and studying for and passing the bar.

So here is where you, my readers, come into play. I need your suggestions. You’ve been reading this blog long enough (hopefully) to give me some ideas about how I should go about this change. Also, feel free to comment on any topics you’d like me to write about. I know I have a post that’s way overdue about my views on religion, life, etc., and I will post that as soon as I can stop sneezing long enough to write it (damn sinuses).

It’s been awhile since I’ve actively used this blog, and I want to change that, for real this time. Stay tuned, lovelies!

Just proof that I’m still alive & am enjoying the summer. Expect a normal post shortly.

Don’t mind me, I’m cranky because I’m sick and I have a slight fever and the area around my right kidney hurts and I have to wait till 9 AM so I can find a doctor that will see me today. But that’s not the real reason for this post. Nope, the real reason is because my parents cease to amaze me.

As I mentioned in my last post, life is good. My relationship with the Mister is amazing, I’m living in New York City, I have a nice gig for the summer,  and even my parents are behaving. Or so I thought.

On the surface, I had good reason to think that my parents and I were coming to some sort of understanding, where its recognized that I’m living my life a certain way and though they don’t necessarily agree with that, we all value each other enough to attempt to not let that get in the way. An unspoken compromise of sorts. I mean, they’ve met the Mister, he’s gone over the house more than once, he gets along with both my mom and dad, and they ask about him. I know they didn’t care for my ex, the Russian, but he didn’t care for them either. This time around it’s different, right? A reasonable person would have thought that things were different. The Mister respects my parents and respects their religion (which is more than I can say), and has taken the initiative to meet my parents even though he knows what he’s up against. And for their parent, it appeared that my parents were willing to consider the fact that although he may not be Muslim, the Mister is a good, responsible, caring man, and maybe they didn’t have to worry or judge too much.

Or so I thought.

I didn’t go into detail in my last post, but I’m moving in with the Mister, that’s why/how I’m moving to Manhattan. Now I know some of you may think, “didn’t you live with the Russian before and you guys broke up and look what happened!” To answer you, yes, I’ve cohabited before and it didn’t work out, but past performance does not guarantee future outcome. If anything, the Mister and I have both cohabited with others and recognize and understand the possible outcomes and consequences of our decision to live together. We’ve talked with each other extensively about the decision, and have been upfront with each other about our concerns and worries, as well as our hopes and optimism. I believe that I made a balanced, well thought out decision.

While in the process of making that decision, I “lived” with the Mister since he moved into the apartment in late March. During that time, my parents (at least my mother) were aware that I was spending more time in NYC, that I had moved my cat to the city, and that I was considering subletting my apartment until the end of my lease in November, or simply breaking my lease during the summer. For all intents and purposes, they had reason to know or believe that there was a good possibility that I was living in New York City, or would be in a short period of time. Interestingly enough, my mother somewhat encouraged it, even emailing friends & coworkers to find someone to sublet my apartment. I’ve mentioned moving to NYC with my dad, and while he wasn’t thrilled, he said he know I’m going to do what I think is best for me and left it at that.

Anyways, I talked with my father this past Monday and mentioned that I showed my apartment to a prospective tenant and would likely be able to break my lease without losing my security deposit (so long as the new person is approved). He then told me that he was extremely disappointed in me and that his respect for me and for the Mister has fallen.

To be honest, I expected my dad to be disappointed, but I was really shocked when he said that he respected me less. He said that the Mister and I should do the right thing and get married right now, because if we don’t, the Mister will never marry me because I make it easy for him not to. He even used the ever-so tacky cliche of “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.”

And of course the conversation/reprimand/lecture wouldn’t be complete without my father summoning the wrath of Allah and informing me that because of my transgressions, Allah would surely punish me. “Allah has blessed you and provided for you, but you continue to turn your back on him, and he will see to it that you get what you deserve.”

The majority one-sided conversation continued in that vein, with my father admonishing me to “do what’s right” and keep my apartment in NJ and pray so that I would find my way back to the right path. I told my father that while I recognize his views, I do not agree with them and frankly, at this point, the Mister and I are too busy/poor/stressed/etc to get married, we’ve discussed it. I also alluded ot the fact that I might not want to take marital advice from him, seeing as how my parents have had many an up and down over the years (yes, I know all marriages have ups and downs, but in this instance I know what I’m talking about).

Eventually the conversation was over, and I sat in my half empty apartment stunned. “Maybe I pushed this on them too fast, maybe I should have waited”, I thought. Then I realized that when it comes to romantic relationships, until (if) I am married, my parents will always have a bone to pick , and that it will likely continue even after I’m married, since I won’t be marrying a Muslim. It saddens me that this is the way that things are, I guess for now this is the way things have to be. My parents aren’t going to bend much further than they have, which hasn’t been much; and I’m not interested in living a lie again, just to make someone else happy.

So yet again, we have to agree to disagree. Maybe this will change, maybe it won’t. As long as I’m true to myself, I know I’ll be alright.

First off, I completed my second year of law school. Yep, I survived finals and am pretty satisfied with the grades I’ve gotten so far (except one, but what can you do), I should be getting my last grade, in Property, tomorrow. So I’m a rising 3L, and will start my final year at the end of August. I’m taking two classes this summer to lighten my load for the fall, which are Tuesday & Thursday, 6-10 PM.

I also have two internships this summer. I’m clerking for a judge in New Jersey and will be also working for a city agency in NYC, if they ever finish processing my paperwork (don’t get me started). I started the clerkship this past Monday and my judge is awesome. The senior clerks are very nice and have really helped in getting me accustomed to the work and life in chambers in general.

I have very few complaints about life outside of law school. My summer has gotten off to a good start, and I look froward to catching up with friends, enjoying summer nights in New York City, and doing a lot of kayaking. I didn’t get to kayak as much as I wanted to last summer, so I’m going to try my best to make up for that this summer. Nothing like being out on the water, feeling the burn in your arms!

I haven’t talked about it much, but my current relationship is doing good and gets better every day. I never came up with a name for him on my blog, so I think I’m just going to continue refering to him as “The Mister.” As I mentioned a while back, he’s in dental school, which makes it nice because he’s just as busy, if not busier, as I am with everything. He also motivates me to be a better student and to gain as much knowledge and practical experience about the law as possible. We’re going back to WA at the end of August, I can’t wait!

My relationship with my parents is also good and although we still have differences in how we view the world and how we choose to live life, I am happy that they are in my life. They’ve met the Mister and like him a lot, probably as much as they could like the non-Muslim boyfriend of their daughter. We actually visited last Sunday and brought Boston Market for dinner and everyone had a really nice time. I know that there may be some challenges in the future, but for now I’m just enjoying it!

In more exciting news, I’m making the move to NYC and saying farewell to New Jersey! It’s been a long time coming, and I’m really excited about the prospect, although I’ve pretty much been living in the city for the past two months already. I’ll always love and appreciate NJ, but there’s something about living in NYC that is so amazing. Yeah, rent is outrageous, and it’s noisy and smelly and dirty, but it’s still amazing. It also makes commuting to school soo much easier!

I know it’s a short post, but that’s all I have for now. Rather than bloviate about how I’m going to post ASAP and devote all my attention to this blog, I’m just going to say that I’m thankful for all the readers that I do have. I know the theme may have gotten stale (faith v. love), and I’m thinking of addressing that in the near future. Keep your eyes open though, there should be some much better content on this thing throughout the summer!

Cheers, lovelies!

Last night commenced the finals fortnight. 4 exams in 2 weeks. See you all on the other side.

I don’t want to make any promises, but hopefully I will write a post about my views of late, and how that affects my life (relationship with my parents, etc). My semester will be over on April 30th, and my first final is May 5th, so I don’t know if I will have the time to write a very detailed series of posts, but I will try my best to at least reflect on my so called journey from Islam, and how things have been for me in the past two years.

Bear with me, ladies & gents!