A Billion Tiny Pieces

Our Time Is Coming To End....

2011-07-19T10:07:00.000-04:00

I am sure that some of you have noticed that postings have been scant over the last several weeks. This is because A Billion Tiny Pieces is coming to a close. Our time together has been amazing, and it has been a great experience for me as a writer.

Don't worry, I am not abandoning blogging or anything like that... I just have a new project!

The new project is "Bossy Italian Wife" a blog where I will share my recipes, opinions, and all sorts of other goodies with my readers. I hope that you will follow me there and enjoy the continuation of my writing endeavors!

Thank you so much for all your support over the last year a half that I have been writing A Billion Tiny Pieces. It's been awesome. Here's some interesting stats:

There have been over 625 posts on A Billion Tiny Pieces... more than 100 comments.... 18 followers, and 142 FaceBook likes!!!

Thanks again, guys, and I'll look forward to seeing you over at Bossy Italian Wife!!!!

5 Ways To Be An Awesome Lover

2011-06-27T08:00:00.002-04:00

We all wanna be great in bed, right? [If you said no, you are totally lying!] But sometimes routine can get wrote, especially in a longterm relationship, and you wanna reignite the flame. OR, sometimes, you just want to pull out the stops and have a rip-roaring, awesome, over-the-top time in bed.

Here are 5 ways to be an lover:

#5- Give AND Receive:

Did you get a blow job? Then give some oral sex. This is a no-brainer for some, but not for others because some know how to do one and not the other... but to be a good lover you got to be as good at giving as you are at receiving. So get in the game and have a good time doing both!

#4- Don't be afraid to try something new

There are no rules as to what is "right" or "wrong" when it comes to sex.... anything goes, as the saying goes! If your lover suggests something that sounds a little bit outlandish, don't judge, perhaps it'll be your new favorite. You know the difference between whether or not something feels good to you, so if you don't like it, move on, but hey, it's always worth a try, right?

#3- Say what feels good

No one--NO ONE--likes when they don't know what turns you on. You have to tell your lover what is really raring you up, otherwise they just don't know. Now this is not to say that you have to be mean about it if they happen to be doing something that is, well, a turn-off. Just gently guide them to a better position/area either through words or actions. For instance, say something like, "it feels so good when you do [x]."

#2- Change the Scenery

Always make love in the bedroom? Try the kitchen floor, or the table, or the living room, or even outside by the fire! It's sexy to have sex in a new place, and it adds that flavor of freshness.

#1- Enjoy Yourself

Nothing sucks more than having sex with someone who is an unenthusiastic lover. So have fun with it, and get into it! Nothing makes a better lover than being into what you are experiencing. So saddle up and have fun!

Jesus, Buddha, and Who Fucking Cares?

2011-06-24T08:00:00.000-04:00

OMG the election is coming! And I can hear the crickets chirping in the background as I say it. It's like a giant *sigh* and a big "who cares?".... the country is "politicked out," in my personal opinion because the last 8-12 years have been a shit sandwich. But I digress...

All anyone seems to want to talk about is the religious affiliation of the candidates and "what it means" for our country. UGH. Gag me. I could so care less, it's astounding. Does anyone else feel the way I do? I have a religion, you have a religion, we all have a religion... it's not news.

When I hear that such-and-such is being judged for their religious affiliation I feel more embarrassment for our country than anything else, and the hypocrisy is palpable. Why in the world did we ever ever put anything about separation of church and state if we didn't want to observe that?

So here's my rant:

I know that so many people are positively OBSESSED over what the fuck is going to happen when they die that they want to make sure that their political leaders share their religion, but here is what I really think....

....we actually have to LIVE on this planet. Whatever happens after you die is irrelevant to me because I am not going to be there. And no one has ever come back from the dead to tell us about it [at least not anyone you have ever met] and I am tired of religion being a basis for deciding our earthly affairs, like in politics.

Religion is meant to be a personal relationship between you and your [insert term for god or whatever here], so let's keep it that way. We aren't any sort of "religious" nation, and it's time we just accepted that so that we can move forward and all be happy. Let's stop focusing on who worships who and just look at who is best qualified for the job. End. Of. Story.

Happy election.

Are You A Bitch or a Slut?

2011-06-23T08:00:00.016-04:00

If you are a woman and have experienced any measure of career success, it's pretty damn likely that at one time or another one of these titles [bitch or slut] have been applied to you. Basically, it's saying, are you smart and sassy or are you smart and pretty??? Being of a fairly feminist mind, I have to say that we still have a long way to go in the fight for gender equality... and starts with dropping these ugly titles.

Women have a problem, and it's being nice to other women. It's no secret. It's likely a competitive thing that stems from our earliest animalistic inclinations, and I'm not saying it isn't somewhat natural. But think about how easy it is to pit one woman against the other. Men do it all the time, and women do it to one another on a constant basis.

This phenomenon was never more prevalent than in the last election, right? Hilary Clinton and Sarah Palin (leave go any arguments of who is actually smart, okay?) are the perfect examples of the archetypes of bitch and slut. Obviously in this analogy, Clinton is the bitch and Palin is the slut. It was easy for women from either camp to hate on the other because the argument goes something like this:

"Hilary Clinton has bitched her way to the top. She's rude and pushy and that is how she got there."

"Sarah Palin is a slut. She's pretty and she's obviously fucked her way to where ever she might be, or at least got there because she's good looking and someone wants to fuck her."

These are easy labels to apply. And make no mistake, no woman is immune to these labels.

So how do we break them down? Well, I think that it has to start with other women standing up for one another. Sure, I don't like Sarah Palin's politics AT ALL, but I don't want to label her because whatever we look at it, you know, good for her. That doesn't mean I'm going to run out and vote for her or anything.

The point? Women have to support each other more and attack a little less. Most women are guilty of this... and we've gotta get over our instinct of mob mentality when it comes to other women because, like I said, we've still got a long way to go. So the next time you catch yourself being this way, do an about face and try a little harder to have some girl power!

New Cigarette Warnings Have Some Disgusted

2011-06-22T08:00:00.000-04:00

Americans are SO uppity, and these new cigarettes warnings are just another thing for us to get our knickers in a twist over. The warnings are going to go directly on cigarette packs and they depict graphic images of people crying with words imposed on top like "Cigarette smoking can cause lung cancer." Stuff like that.

Apparently people don't want the truth shoved in their faces while they are actively killing themselves, and they feel somewhat offended by these new warnings. To these people, I have to say: get over your silly selves! These warnings have been in effect in other countries, like Canada for many years. People need to know that the product they are intaking is killing them. If they feel uncomfortable with the message it's sending, good. Mission accomplished.

The truth is, I am a former smoker. And to a smoker, those warnings are "whatever..." until they aren't. If we can get people to NOT smoke altogether, the world will be a better place. We have an obligation, in my opinion, to help society to live the healthiest lives possible, and this is a step in the right direction. If you don't like it, consider your position as a smoker.... there is literally no reason why people need to actively reduce their health.

We only have one body in this life, and we should take care of ourselves more fully. I personally want to live in a society that values my health.

Why Glitter Bombing Rocks!

2011-06-21T11:44:00.000-04:00

Have you heard of glitter bombing??? It's when a pro-gay activist pours glitter on someone who doesn't support gay rights. In my personal opinion, I think that this is one of the very coolest things in creation. Why? Well, first of all, why not? It's a nonviolent way to really get your message across, and use a little bit of humor, too.

Life is generally so serious, and when people get mad or passionate about something, sometimes they have a hard time containing themselves. I think that this can be such a hinderance to real progress, you know: people yelling at one another in fits of anger. But when someone can be passionate, intelligent, and diligent without losing their sense of humor, well, we get glitter bombing.

The other thing I love is that glitter bombing leaves a lasting impression on everyone. The person who gets bombed will likely be picking bits of glitter out of their hair for weeks to come, and that means that they will be thinking about gay right over and over and over again. Everything will have glitter on it... that shit is HARD to get off, as ladies and gay men know!

So "glitter on" you gay rights divas! I think it's freakin' fabulous, and I love seeing assholes like Newt Gingrich covered in glitter and looking completely dumbfounded.

5 Decisions That Changed My Life

2011-06-20T09:17:00.000-04:00

I am at a tender age... an age where I am changing constantly, and coming into my own more and more every waking minute. This year has been an eye-opener, I'll say that much. But here are 5 decisions I made that changed my life for the better and set me on the right track to a life that was totally my own!

#5- I will only work doing something I love

Sounds easy, but in reality has been harder than I thought, but also more rewarding than I thought. When I left well-paying job to pursue the rocky world of freelance writing, I was nervous, but the longer I worked at it, the better things went, and now I am happier than ever. Now, work never feels like work, it feels like living!

#4- I will not care what others think

This one was hard because there is always judgement coming form everywhere... and families can be a big culprit of this. It's difficult because you want to take into account what your family and friends think, but not too much. It's a fine line, but in the end, I am the only person who has to live my life... and so I can't take into account what others think lest I always be trying to people please.

#3- Life is meant for moving on

You get into things in life. You have certain things that you like to do, etc. But sometimes this can find you "stuck"--frequenting the same bars over and over, dating the same types of guys, or whatever. Sometimes the next phase of life seems a scary proposition, but you gotta do it because life is meant to go through stages.

#2- It's always worth it to assert your needs [in a nice way!]

This was a big one for me. It's hard for me to assert myself; there, I said it. I often put others' needs before my own, and then I don't get what I want in the end, and who do I have to blame? Myself because I didn't assert what I wanted/needed to begin with. Beginning to change my behavior to take myself into account has been a game changer.

#1- Taking time for myself is a priority

My workouts serve as my "me" time, and I'm not moving my routine for anyone. Too bad. Everyone has to take time to make themselves feel good and get their mind/body/soul working. Setting aside time for yourself is far from selfish, it's renewing. Whatever it is that allows you to unwind and soothe your soul is super important!

5 Ways To Be An Awesome Friend

2011-06-16T08:00:00.014-04:00

We all go through times when we need to put out a little more effort in the friend department. I have had times where I feel so overwhelmed that I have been a terrible friend--not asking even the basic questions, and likely coming off as though I was being self centered. Other times, we have a tendency to take our friendships for granted....

So here is a list for you, friend, on 5 ways to be an awesome friend.

#5- Keep It To Yourself!

You know when your friend has a boyfriend, girlfriend, or [insert whatever] that really gets on your last nerve? Yea, we all do, but sometimes you just gotta keep it to yourself. The last time I checked, my friends weren't looking for my approval, just my support. That I can do!

#4- Send a Card [Yes, like, in the mail]

This is something I have been slacking on lately, but generally am pretty good at. My friends and I send mail--actual paper mail--to one another. You know that NOTHING brightens a day like getting a nice, crisp piece of mail with your name on it. It really says that you care.

#3- Offer to be the DD

The next time you and your friends are going out, offer to be the designated driver. If you know your friend is stressed, or just really deserves a good time, then offer to be her chariot of safety after your big night out. Remember: good things come to those who are designated drivers!

#2- Compliments!

Think compliments are reserved for romantic relationships....think again! How good does it make you feel when a friend says, "you look so cute!" or, "your hair looks great today!" Yea, it feels goooood. I am guilty of sometimes thinking the compliments in my head and not saying them, so I try to always do this whenever I remember!

#1- Don't Judge

We can sometimes pass judgement without ever knowing it, even in the closest friendships. The next your friend is venting about any little thing, try reserving any judgement and just listen. This is really the mark of a great friend--one who listens and loves unconditionally and without judgement.

Commitment: It's Different For Everyone

2011-06-15T08:00:00.029-04:00

I am 25 years old, and married to a man that I have been with for 7 1/2 years.... let's just say that I am not the norm amongst modern-day 25 year olds who are more than likely getting out of college than getting married. For me, my path has been perfect, but everyone's path is different and unique for them. I wouldn't change my own life for the world.

For some women, love and marriage come later in life, and that is okay. Some women have found career success where I have found love, and are now in the dating pool trying to navigate the rocky waters of relationships. When you are independently successful, secure in yourself, and all those other things that come on the other side of your 20's, commitment also looks a lot different.

So what should commitment look like, exactly? Some women find commitment to be the ring on the finger. In fact, I used to think the same thing. Some women say that it is moving in together--making a home, or making a life together. And I think that's accurate too. Yet others are perfectly happy to be living in an abode by their lonesome and having their beau in another locale, and they feel perfectly committed, so in that case, who am I to say??

Commitment, in fact, wears many faces. My own husband and I lived together for 5 years before we were engaged and once we were engaged we waited an additional year and half before we married. But where did the simple titles of boyfriend and girlfriend end and the commitment begin?? Probably about year 4.

During the first 3 years, we were really still getting to know one another. Sure, we were living together to see if we were compatible and all that jazz, but nothing was written in stone. About year 3, though, I started to itch for more of a commitment. I thought that becoming engaged denoted a seriousness--an intention--to be lifelong partners. I became so obsessed with the notion (and the "idea" of security) that I nearly drove myself crazy over it... so crazy, in fact, that I was risking the very nature of relationship.

So, to effectively get over my newly found obsession with engagement, I went to therapy. I thought that if I could just become comfortable with simply being together and not being married, I could enjoy my relationship more. And it was true. When I realized that my man wasn't going anywhere--that we were sharing our lives together and building a foundation that was strong--I suddenly felt that weight lifted off my shoulders and the commitment was deeper than ever.

From there, everything else fell into place. We became engaged several months later, and then we married. Now we have been married a year, and we are still as in love as ever before.

For me, being committed was important, as I think it is for many women, with or without the ring on the finger. Matching up with the one you love is important, too. The time table and the boundaries and requirements are largely up to you to lay out. If you ever get a point where you are questioning the seriousness of the commitment your significant other has to you, first ask yourself what your longterm expectations are, and most importantly, if you are happy with the one you love.

Things I learned [At The Phish Shows]

2011-06-14T08:00:00.023-04:00

Daren and I recently hit up a few Phish shows for our first wedding anniversary. These shows were a departure from my norm for one big reason: these were my first Phish shows since I quit smoking cigarettes. For this reason, I was a little more sober than I might normally be... so let's say the view was a little bit different than it has been in years past. Here are the things I learned....

- With no hair to protect my neck, flying glow sticks hurt a lot more

-People throwing up in the lot are a lot more gross when you are sober

-Whenever you are hoping it is going to be Maze, it's going to be Bowie.

-You never see your friends who have tickets in the pit (no matter how much they insist they are coming to get you on the lawn)

-No matter where I stand, the tallest guy will inevitably end up in front of me, and I have to just go with it....bob and weave; bob and weave

- I love when chicks show their bras (and there are a lot of them) because I feel like I am seeing something I shouldn't in a good way.

- I still love when someone breaks open a glow stick and the "glow" goes everywhere.

- Phish shows are a great way to connect with old friends, and make new ones, no matter how sober or fucked up you happen to be.

5 Ways To Say "I Love You."

2011-06-13T08:00:00.000-04:00

So anyone in a longterm relationship knows that sometimes you take one another for granted... we often get so wrapped up in the here and now and our own little worlds that sometimes we forget that there is a whole other person who thrives on our love and affection. This is natural to momentarily forget these things, but we ought to work toward always keeping our partners in mind.

After all, "relationshipping" is a marathon, not a sprint, and it's also an art. Learning to really hit the mark takes mutual patience, love, and respect. But we don't have to always get soooo deep in it, do we? Sometimes, it is the simple things that really say "I love you," and here are 5 that you can use to say just that.

#5- A home cooked meal
Even those who aren't culinary chefs generally have a trick or two up their sleeves when it comes to dinner. Cooking a meal at home is a great way to connect with the one you love. Doing this even once a week says that you care and gives your honey one less thing to think about that day!

If your special someone cooks everyday for you, then perhaps you should return the favor as a surprise!

#4- Doing that little chore
You know the rundown, I do this chore, you do that one, and it's a good enough system. But how great is it when you go to do your chore and it's already done for you?! I know I love when my husband surprises me by doing the dishes for me, or running a load of laundry. This is a simple way to really touch someone's heart, especially in a longterm relationship.

#3- Tell them they are sexy
I know this sounds like "duh," but you would be surprised how this one works wonders. WONDERS. I have been with my husband for nearly 8 years, and I have to say that both of us love to hear the other say how sexy we are. It's a boost of confidence AND sexual tension... so what are you waiting for???

#2- Give a compliment that is not of a sexual nature
We all love to feel sexy and stuff... but don't we also like to feel smart?! I know I do! And compliments always feel like a million bucks. We often compliment others in our lives, friends, family, and even strangers. Sometimes we forget to give compliments to those we love the most because we figure they already know how much we think of them... but it's always good to hear.

Try saying something like, "That was so awesome how you handled that situation," or "I am so proud of you at your job," or whatever. Compliments makes the world go round!

#1- Say please and thank you
Manners, manners, manners! How lost they can be in the longer relationship, however, they are sooo important. "pass the salt," sounds so 'blah' next to "could you please pass the salt," and "thanks, babe."

I'm going to stress the thank you part on this one. People love to thanked for their hard work, and why shouldn't they be? Tell your significant other "thank you." Tell them thanks for working and paying the rent. Tell them thanks for being so awesome. SAY THANK YOU!

Hipsters Are Immune To Weather

2011-06-10T08:00:00.000-04:00

I saw a couple of FaceBook posts yesterday expressing confusion as to why people were wearing scarves in the 90+ degree heat. Obviously, they weren't hip to the hipness that is the hipster community. They are, apparently, immune to heat indexes... which is why they wear scarves in the excessive heat.

Though I will say that I may be more hipster than hippy at this point, I cannot--will not--wear a scarf in the heat. I will wear instead, as little as possible. Though, if the weather allows, I will throw on a scarf without hesitation. It really rounds out an outfit, doesn't it??

But there is something that maybe you didn't know: not only will hipsters wear their scarves, but so will their dogs. That's right people, hipster dogs. This hipster dog is courtesy of Matt Brown, who I am proud to claim relation to. He's my husband's cousin, and obviously, his dog is a total hipster.

5 Things To Boost Confidence

2011-06-09T11:25:00.000-04:00

Looking to boost your confidence a bit?? We can ALL use a boost now and again, and having higher self esteem for some of us can make all the difference. Here are 5 tricks to boosting your confidence and feeling good... because when you feel good on the inside, you look great on the outside.

#5- Smiling Meditation
Smiling and feeling good is a state of mind, and you can get there via meditation. It's not rocket science, and you don't have to be a mediation expert to make it work. You can do it in bed, at your office desk, or just when you get a couple of moments to yourself.

#4- Tell yourself you are beautiful
Telling yourself that you are beautiful is an important step in the self esteem process. At first, if you don't believe it, don't get discouraged---plow ahead! Anytime a negative body image thought pops into your head, replace it with "I am so happy and thankful that I feel beautiful." In no time, you'll be feeling it!!!

#3- Get in a workout!
Working out boosts the "good stuff" in your brain and it makes you feel on top of your game. So get your brain going by working it out a bit. It always works wonders for me and my self confidence.

#2- Have a night out [or in] with friends
It's important to be social and experience communing with other people. I know that we live in a fast-paced world, and that's okay. But we have to [have to HAVE TO!] take a time out every once in a while to slow down and have fun. Friends are such a great source of self esteem for some of us, even it's just to say, "girl, you rock!"

#1- Have some sex
You know that steamy glow that you get from having sex? Yea, I love that. I always feel like the Queen of Sheba after a good romp session. So I definitely suggest this for anyone who wants to boost their self confidence... though, I don't recommend throwing yourself at some guy just for teh hell of it [to be clear] unless that is your sort of thing :)

Media Hoaxed Twice In One Day

2011-06-08T16:29:00.000-04:00

Maybe our media needs to spend a little more time fact checking, and a little less time frantically racing to post stories online, on television, and in print. This is evidenced by the fact that not one, but two hoaxes were carried out and reported as actual stories. Sure, I love to ride the information highway, but I like to know that the information I am getting is verified... so much for the "art" of reporting.

What are the stories, you ask? Well, one was pretty serious... the other just sort of silly.

The first was reported all day that there had been a mass grave of men, women, and even children in Texas. This turned out to be totally false. The police had reported they were functioning on an anonymous tip which actually turned out to be some quack psychic who reported that she thought that there was a mass grave located at a certain address.

Apparently this psychic had been watchign a little too much prime time television a la "Medium" and there was no mass grave. In fact, the poor guy whose yard they showed up to was pretty shaken by these allegations because he had already been through a traumatic event: his daughter's ex boyfriend had slit his wrists at the man's residence days earlier. Poor guy...

The other hoax was the facebook tattoo thingy. A Dutch woman claimed that she was getting all of her friend's from facebook tattooed on her arm... all 157 of them. This ended up also being a hoax, but in a more playful less "I'm gonna dig up your whole yard looking for bodies" kind of way. Either way, the media should be taking a good, hard look at itself in the mirror.

Just last week, FOX news ran a picture of Tina Fey dressed as Sarah Palin instead of the actual Sarah Palin....

This all begs the question: can't you people just do your fucking jobs?! Check facts. This includes pictures. Don't just get all post-happy when it comes to reporting the news--check with your sources. Do some actual reporting. It's lazy and ridiculous that you guys report this crap and within hours you have to retract your stories. No wonder people hate the mainstream media so much.... sheesh.

5 Signs Your Dude is Gonna Dump You

2011-06-07T08:00:00.000-04:00

I am always coming across these lists on Yahoo news and in magazines like Cosmopolitan about what the five impending signs of a break up are, and I always ask myself, "do people take these seriously?" Apparently, they DO! So, just to throw my own hat in the ring, I wanted to come up with my own [very scientific] list of 5 things that indicate your dude is about to give you the boot.

I can personally guarantee that this list is going to be better than anything you will read anywhere else, so take notes, people!!!

#5- He only wants blow jobs and avoids having sex with you.
Yup. Sure fire sign he is over your ass... he wants all the pleasure and none of the work. If he just wants his johnson serviced and doesn't wanna go near your hoo-haw, then chances are, he's gonna dump you.

#4- He keeps saying he is "working" during the day
Duh! Who works anymore in this recession... sure fire sign he is a total liar. No one has real jobs anymore, do they??

#3- He starts developing independent goals
Obviously if he liked you at all, his only goal in life would be to fan you while you eat grapes. He is apparently drifting from the iron-like grasp you've had over him for so long, which means the magic is lost. This relationship is totally fried.

#2- He wants to hang in a group
What type of dude likes to socialize? Ones who are about to break up with their girlfriends, that's who. Don't think that him introducing you to his friends has anything to do with trust and love, it's a twisted sign he's kicking your ass to the curb.

#1- You are reading this list of 5 signs your dude is gonna dump you
Yep, you guessed it. This is generally the number one sign---your own insecurity has gotten the best of you and now you are about to get the boot. Better do it first before he gets the chance because your fate is totally sealed.

Weiner Caught With His Pants Down

2011-06-06T17:40:00.000-04:00

I have seen enough bulging crotches to know when a Weiner has crossed the line, and Rep. Anthony Weiner proved today that his bulge is no casue for concern. Sure, he's a dirty liar, but he's still a good politician... which is why he isn't steppin' down. While he admits to sending crotch-tastic photographs of himself to women on the Internet, he isn't going to throw in the towel.

My best guess is that Weiner is gonna take that towel, jizz all over it, and throw it right back in the media's face because that's how the Democrats roll.

Now, if Weiner was some conservative guy who was sending gray boxer covered dick pictures to women, this might be a scandal, but since he is a Democrat, this behavior is somewhat expected. It's not as though he stuck a cigar in woman's vagina or anything... he just aroused himself and took some pictures. I've seen worse; like the time this guy at my husband's job took pictures of his flaccid dick and balls on a piece of granite and left it on his work computer... that was a little shocking. This incident borders on perversion, but not insanity.

Tell the media to get the sand out their 'ginas and realize that this isn't illegal. So his wife might leave him... big deal. Why do we want to be so overly involved in the sex lives our politicians? Boy, I am glad no one is digging into my sex life (mostly because I only have sex with one person, and it's nothing anyone would likely care about, but still...)

How Do You "Marriage?"

2011-06-06T08:00:00.022-04:00

I was reading CNN the other day, and I came across an article boasting the cure for the "mediocre" marriage. More than anything, I think I was curious about what they define as a mediocre marriage.... it was basically the marriage in which you aren't totally unhappy, and it's low-conflict, but there is no spark. I would definitely not fit into that category....

But anyone who has been with anyone for a longer amount of time knows that marriages [and other long term relationships] go through dips and lulls. It's the ebb and flow of the relationship life cycle. And discontent, especially in a marriage, can make for a disastrous ending.

In today's culture, there is a self -help regimen for just about anything you experience, but at a certain point, I feel like we are "helping" ourselves to death. We are always taught to seek out happiness to the nth degree--rid yourself of whatever makes you miserable because it's certainly nothing that has to do with you, it must be some other, external thing! Get rid of your wallpaper, boyfriend, husband, city of choice, diet--whatever you want to blame for making you miserable.

The truth is, running away from things is easier than working your through your problems... as evidenced by this article I read on CNN. The cure for the boring marriage? Take a break, have separate bedrooms, or open your marriage to other sexual partners... none of these sound like viable solutions to me. They sound like cop-outs. But then, as quickly as I had this thought, I also thought about something else: there are no rules, as society would like us to believe. There are all different ways to have a marriage, not just one.

Marriage means as many different things as there are marriages. The rules that exist are only in our minds. The "traditional" set up is fine for many, but there are a thousand varieties that also likely work. Things that work in my marriage might be horrible in someone else's... thank goodness I will never have to find out! The point in all this is that people are willing to try anything to have a good marriage and there are no rules to what makes people happy--except one. You must know yourself.

To have a good marriage you must know yourself inside and out; your strengths, your weaknesses--everything. Without knowledge of oneself, there is no loving anyone else. So as long as you "marriage" with full knowledge of who you are, you will probably be okay. I always hear a lot of talk about the other side of this: the "I thought he was someone he wasn't" or the "they changed."

Sure, people change, but not fundamentally [at least not in most cases]. Core values are core values. If you know yourself, you are likely to match up with someone whose core values compliment or match your own. Where you go from there is entirely up to you. But as Shakespeare once said, "To thine own self be true."

Weekend Fun!

2011-06-04T08:00:00.011-04:00

In the movie Eat, Pray, Love one of the characters talks about how Americans don't know pleasure... how we go home on the weekends and we get drunk and lay in our pajamas all weekend in front of the television. The main character, Liz, in the film agrees that this notion isn't far off from the truth. If you think about it, especially for those who work so hard during the week, this is kind of true.

It's hard when you've got a grind to contend with every week. Sometimes you just have to veg out. But it's summer now, at least unofficially, and with the longer days and warms nights, sometimes you have to get out and play, too. I am not much on nightlife, I am not going to lie, but I love to get into some great daytime activities.

Summer is awesome for so many great outdoor activities! So this weekend, try and get out there and do something fun--something other than sitting on the couch. Go swimming. Sit on the beach or take a walk on a boardwalk! Take a walk with someone you love, or get in a canoe and paddle about. Take some time to make time and enjoy all the perks of mother earth.

Most of all, live the life you love--one that energies you and makes you feel amazing!

Have a happy weekend everyone!

Why Not: Dress Up For The Grocery

2011-06-03T08:00:00.016-04:00

I have seen women [and men] dressed up in their t-shirts with holes, sweatpants and sneakers to go shopping. Women double their workout gear for errands... even though they clearly have been no where near a gym that morning, or afternoon, as it were. Jeans and a t-shirt are fine for such an occasion, but the other day while I was grocery shopping in my oh-too-cute outfit, I noticed a got a lot of compliments on my attire, and hey, I felt sexy looking for my grocery items.

Well, it all got me thinking... what is so great about looking like frump-meitster flex at the grocery, anyway? The clear answer is nothing at all. Now I am not suggesting you go get yourself dance club ready for the grocery or anything... don't spend hours primping. I'm just suggesting you put on something you love and strut your stuff down the potato chip aisle. Why? Because it's awesome.

Now if you've ever watched "What Not To Wear" on TLC, you likely already know what I am talking about. It's one thing to hit the grocery after your workout at the gym and grab some almond milk. It's quite another to not wash your hair, pull it back in a pony, and pull on gym clothes to go to the grocery store. If you don't feel like getting dressed, there is a place for you: home. I know it sounds harsh, but you will thank me for this advice later, and it has absolutely nothing to do with how other people perceive you... it is quite the opposite.

I think others see you [mostly] as you see yourself... if this is untrue, I am completely uninterested in realizing it... I think that healthy self esteem is something that not all people have innately. Some things in life are worth working toward, though, aren't they? And how you dress tells people about you. When you feel your best, you exude your best. This why even throwing your favorite jeans and t-shirt (sans holes) even to go to the grocery is a good idea. Throwing on some makeup and earrings and you are one hot grocery shopping queen! I like dresses, but that's just me. Some women even wear heels, which I find wholly impressive... if you can pull this off, please do, I love to watch!

So why not dress up for the grocery? It's nice to turn heads, and, more importantly, it's nice to feel good about yourself!!! It doesn't matter if you are at an office, a grocery, or anywhere else on god's green earth. If you feel you look good, so will others.

...you sexy thang!

Fold & Eat: How To Eat A Piece of Pizza

2011-06-02T08:43:00.000-04:00

Donald Trump created controversy yesterday, but it's not what you think. No he wasn't threatening to run for president again... he wasn't even speaking out on his change of heart over abortion. No, Mr. Trump's controversy stemmed from the unlikeliest of places: a run-of-the-mill chain pizza place wherein the Trumpster at his pizza in a most unusual manner.

It should be said that Trump was dining with Sarah Palin, who likely chose this very "un" New York joint right in the city to eat New York style pizza... but everyone seemed to ne'er forget that Palin was there because Trump's behavior was just so upstaging. He took his pizza, stacked them one on top of the other, and then proceeded to cut his pizza in what looked to be complete futility with a plastic fork and knife, and eat the pizza "with class."

If this move doesn't show Trump's true colors on a multihued of levels, I don't know what does.... first of all, how much of a stuffed shirt do you have to be to eat pizza with a fork and knife? Hey Trump, you holding quarters between your ass cheeks too because you seem like a real tight-ass. Secondly, I have just seen all the fun sucked out of eating a piece of pizza, and it totally ruined my day. That's for that one, Trump. But the best has to be his response of this "upper class" way of eating a pizza, which made absolutely no sense at all.

Trump said that he was eating the pizza with a plastic fork and knife because he doesn't carry his own fork and knife [amateur] and furthermore that he likes eating it that way so that he remove the top of the pizza from the crust. WTF does that even mean?! I don't know... But one thing is for certain, this is NOT the proper way to eat a piece of pizza...

Officially [dot] Com

2011-06-02T08:00:00.000-04:00

So, I am not sure if anyone noticed, but A Billion Tiny Pieces has officially gone dot com! We are now at abilliontinypieces.com instead of a blogspot domain! I figured it was time and all, since it's been over a year, and I am not going anywhere!!!

I just wanted to let everyone know for formality's sake, and all that jazz.

So... share it with your friends, family, and everyone you know! And let them know about the coolest slice of life blog out there: A Billion Tiny Pieces.

If there are subjects you want to write me to write about, questions you have, or anything else, please, let me know!!! And this is also the time where I would like to thank everyone who has read my blog for the last year or so. It means so very much to me to read the comments, or hear people say that they enjoy reading the blog, so thank you!!!

Cheers with morning coffee and fist pumps--because we are officially a dot com!!!!

Sex, Then Dinner

2011-06-01T08:00:00.000-04:00

Most dates go something like this:

Man takes woman to dinner after which he either walks her to her door where they either share a kiss, or, if things are more serious, they proceed indoors to have sex.

It's a boring predictable way to do things, if you ask me. I have never been much for tradition for tradition's sake. Instead, I like a touch of the unexpected... like sex before dinner. I suppose the precedent had been set long ago. Nearly 7 1/2 years ago when I met my husband, I said to him, "let's have sex tonight. If you like me, you can ask me to dinner." And that was just what we did. [Well, I should say, my now-husband is such a gentlemen he asked me to dinner before the sex, to which I replied, "no, no. You can ask me after the sex."]

The short version of the long story is that a few days later we went to a very nice dinner... and the rest is history. But history, as they say, often repeats itself. I was reminded of this in the best way last evening when my husband asked me to dinner. I, ever the foodie, did not hesitate at the idea of going out to eat. When I asked what time he was thinking, he casually asked if he could seduce me before dinner. I acted all coy about it and even acted as though I would reject the notion... but I would not.

In fact, the very first thought that ran through my head yesterday morning when I awoke was "I want to have sex today." So when he slipped into the shower, I poised myself for a sexy surprise. And bada-bing: sex before dinner. Afterward, we re-dressed and had what was a very satisfying meal at "Just Hooked." The dinner was fabulous.

I love this reverse order for so many reasons. First of all, having sex is like a work-out, so it helps me work up a mighty appetite which is just what I need when I am about to go to a nice dinner. Second, did you ever notice that after dinner you feel a bit more sluggish? Sometimes [not always, but sometimes] I am too full to make love after dinner. The reverse order totally prevents this obnoxiousness. And finally, after you've done the deed with your [insert title from boyfriend to husband to whatever] the glow of love is still fresh on your skin... you head out to that dinner and the world can see you are in love. I know I personally am much more "touchy" than I may normally be.

And when you come home? All that's left to do is relax... of course, unless you feel inclined to make love again... in which case, you just won the [wife, girlfriend, or casual hook up] award of the year! So why not reverse your sex routine?? You might find something magical happens... and that convention is for the birds!

Marrying For Love is Courageous

2011-05-31T08:00:00.000-04:00

Alright... twice in the last few days I have read pieces downing the institution of marriage. In one, a writer said that marriage is "not an accomplishment," and in the other I read about some Eva Mendes comment saying how she isn't going to get married because of the origins of the act. By "origins" she meant when women were pawns for land deeds and all that jazz. And this makes her feel the whole thing is "unromantic."

I don't know what the heck these ladies are talking about. I mean, don't get me wrong, I am ALL for women's lib and everything. I don't want us to equate marriage with land deals or royal unions for power or anything of the sort. I'm into being an independent woman. But I AM also married... and I also happen to think that marrying for love is one of the most courageous things that a human being can do in modern times.

Some say that the institution of marriage is crumbling or becoming irrelevant, but I have to disagree. People wait longer to do it, and many feel perfectly comfortable not ever marrying [which, hey, you know, whatever floats your boat.] But there are some who feel that marriage just needs to thought about more and jumped into less hastily. If we took it more seriously, then it becomes more serious. This is, at least, how I see my own marriage.

I love with abandon. I just love. And to take that love and make it something permanent took more courage than anything I have ever done, and that's the truth. It's running the risk of taking some you love and perverting or changing it. Make no mistake, marriage does, in fact, change everything. But it is hardly unromantic, at least, in my own experience.

And, indeed, if love was originally for taking women and making them pawns in an elaborate game of human Monopoly, what's the better "get out of jail free" card than marrying for LOVE? Love is the ultimate snub in the face of the institution that was originally designed to exclude the concept of love. So if stars, or people in their 30's, or hipsters think that they are being "anti" anything by not getting married, then they are just mistaken.

There is only ever one good reason to get married and that is because you are in love and you plan on working on that love forever. Is that two reasons? Whatever; you get the point. Love--true love--takes courage and determination and therefore, I conclude that it is both an accomplishment as well as very romantic. I don't encourage people to rush into it. But I certainly recommend it for those who have what it takes to ride into the "danger zone" with the thing people treasure most: their hearts.

The Mud In My Toes...

2011-05-30T11:07:00.000-04:00

So we were camping at Delfest this weekend (which you can read all about here) and the weather was unpredictable as usual. Sometimes it's hard to roll with punches and take the unexpected with a good attitude. This has been a challenge for me my whole life. In fact, as a child, my mother would always ask me, "why do you get so bent out of shape? Things always work out in the end." It's true isn't it??

When the rain came to Delfest, I was tempted to throw a complete temper tantrum, but I resisted. The second day when it rained, I felt the same urge, but again I resisted. But I wore my galoshes and didn't want to get my feet dirty.... silly, I know. Especially as I watched the other people happily prancing through the mud and getting incredibly blissed out on the muddy mess. I thought to myself, "what's wrong with me? That totally would have been me a couple years ago!"

By the third day, I finally had to loosen up and get dirty. And you know what? I liked it. I took my shoes off, walked through the mud, felt it on my legs. Thank god I hadn't lost my ability to act like a kid. Sure, I am getting to the other side of my 20's... but that doesn't mean I have to be a square about it. I got drunk approximately 1/ 2 times this weekend... not because I actively tried not to get drunk, but rather because I was just enjoying myself.

Life has changed for me... even at festivals. But I find that I am still having a good time and even feeling the mud between my toes was enjoyable from my sober(ish) state. I'm happy to find that the things that I love still exist for me with or without the heavy partying. I guess this comes with getting older, and I guess I am even getting more comfortable with it. Go figure. But every now and again, you gotta get dirty. :)

American Idol: Long, Strange Trip

2011-05-27T08:00:00.021-04:00

Anyone who watched American Idol before this 10th season knows that it was a long, strange season. There were so many issues with the production itself, the guests and that Jimmy Iovine guy that I barely know where the normality ends and the weirdness begins. And I have to say that even though the kids [yes, they are kids] who were competing in the end were good... I was surprised by the entire cast from start to finish.

Perhaps the most surprising part of the whole season was, in fact, the finale. The fact that Lauren Alaina was so clearly favored by both the judges and the production staff was nearly nauseating as we moved into the season finale and the production touted her vocal chord injury like it was going out of style... but in the end, all the excuses couldn't win the competition for Ms. Alaina because clearly, little girls are biting their pillows at the thought of Scotty, who had that deep country voice a la Johnny Cash with the boyish looks of Shia LaBeouf.

In my confusion of why both finalists of Idol were under the age of 18 as well as country music singers, my husband pointed out something that is most telling of where American Idol is really headed. His theory of why there was not more diversity in the competition once the voting started is because the fans are predominantly those country-music listening, young face loving type. And unfortunately, American Idol may be becoming "country idol." And this is likely a kiss of death for what used to be a prime time powerhouse.

I am likely over it altogether. I watched this season out of sheer commitment and then I realized that AMerican Idol, unlike my marriage, is not something I should be "committed to" in the first place. I don't owe my loyalty to a television show anymore than I owe my loyalty to a corporation. So I guess I'll go more for the X factor. Because I miss Simon Cowell and I am DYING to hear something from a judge other than "you're awesome!" I want real criticism and real artists...

All in all, this season has been nothing more than a long, strange trip. And I'm over it.