A blog about a girl named buttons

Find me on Tumblr

2011-12-08T13:25:00.001-05:00

Member I moved to tumblr because it's easier for me at this point in life? Well, make sure to visit me there. Especially because today is a very special anniversary & I talk ALL about it:

A very Special Anniversary

Holla....

Find me tumbling

2011-09-17T13:21:00.001-04:00

I'm finding it easier to tumbl these days so you can find me here:

http://bekahbuttons.tumblr.com/

Xo

Fix it

2011-08-18T11:59:00.015-04:00

This picture feels like forever ago instead of just a week. When we were full of hope instead of sorrow. When the baby we affectionately called Myrtle was someone we longed to meet instead of someone whose loss we mourned.

Before my little sister was hurting in such a way I can't understand again.... I wish I could fix it.

Bobby's Burger Palace (and I'm officially old)

2011-07-21T21:43:00.001-04:00

Tonight we went to Bobby's Burger Palace for dinner which is Bobby Flay's "Fast, casual burger Concept." Yes we just went to Bobby Flay Steakhouse this weekend during our overnight to Atlantic City. Yes, I'm still a vegetarian. But Bobby's Burger Palace is SURE to have a veggie burger, right?

Wrong.

But I did have a delicious salad filled with beans, chedder cheese, Kalamata olives & strips of tortilla chips. And sweet potato fries with Honey Musturd sauce!

(That Prickly pear Marg is David's!)

It was cheap, delicious & fast which is not a combination we've found much of in Philly.

And it was those things because it was in an entirely different section of Philly- University City- the section of West Philly where all the colleges are. The section of the city where the streets are the cleanest & scream "Mommy & Daddy this city is safe- send your kids HERE!" Bobby's was across the street from University of Pennsylvania. THAT's why it was cheap. THAT's why it was fast. And THAT's why we felt like the oldest people alive when we walked inside & didn't get carded for our drinks. Because we looked so much older than everyone in there (except for my high school choir teacher, who I literally ran into inside).

But seriously, when did college kids get so young? When did I become the person who during a 20 minute burger/salad dinner, can't stop remarking that all the college kids look so young? It was quite depressing.

But needless to say it was nice to get to another neighborhood in the city that we rarely visit. We had a good dinner & got to deposit some checks because, shocker, there's actually a Bank of America in University City. And as we were driving home to our neighborhood, which is much less clean & pristine than the areas with the Universities, this was our view:

And that was quite okay with me. Because Philly is a great city. Even our neighborhood without cheap college eats & more trash on the streets. And while reminiscing about college & regretting we didn't go to a "real, big school" is nice from time to time, it's also nice to deposit checks because we're grown-ups with real jobs that pay us real money. And drive away from where it's so clean & pristine. Because that's our life. It's what we chose. Because we can. Cause we are old. Well, maybe not old yet, but we're not 18. And I'm okay with that.

Today.

I'm NOT okay with Bobby Flay not having a veggie burger on his burger menu though. Come on, Bobby.

(Yes, I'm going to ignore that I haven't blogged for a month & just pretend I do this daily)

I hate keeping secrets... so I'm gonna stop

2011-06-23T17:40:00.000-04:00

(This is for those of you who doesn't see my updates on Facebook...)

For what feels like FOREVER, I've kept the secret of the latest baby that is coming into my life (okay, it's only a secret if you count the 4 people I forgot to tell not knowing. I may have accidentally told every else. Oops)

These pictures were taken FOREVER AGO, before I told a soul, when only a small # of people knew:

Noo noo- it's not me. It IS my baby sister though (and by "baby" I don't actually mean baby- that one isn't pregnant as far as I know- I mean the sister right below me. I figure I'm allowed to refer to any of my sisters as "baby" since I actually remember them as babies)

Abisnail (Abigail, get it?) MacNeill is making me an Aunt for Christmas. She's due December 26th. We named it Myrtle (Cuz she's a fertile Myrtle. I think Josh just looked at her and she got pregnant. Actually I know that's how it happened cuz my baby sister doesn't do it)

These pictures are of Myrtle's proud "aunts" and future babysitter. (Her real aunts haven't subjected her mother to any embarrassing belly photos yet. But there are many to come- just you wait)

Love you Snails & Myrtle! xoxo

Kelly getting married

2011-06-13T20:19:00.000-04:00

I had the best birthday present this year: My college roommate, Kelly, got married!

Basically, if Kelly could have gotten married in an Anthropologie, she would have:

That might seem cheesy & cliché for most people since Anthro is so trendy- but it's not for Kelly. Because she's liked the "Anthro look" long before they made it popular.

Paper decorations at the alter

Kelly & the bridesmaids (except one! I couldn't see Stephenie behind Kel!)

Little details like tags hanging in a frame telling us where to sit

My cute groom

Kel & David!

Hillside Apartments forever (Me, Kel & Lucy- we lived together)

The night ended with Karaoke, of course!

and we walked out with adorable totes (maybe The Decker family got 3)

I promise Jeff, Kelly's HUSBAND, was there.... I just forgot to photograph him.... Oops :/

Recently

2011-06-09T21:14:00.000-04:00

I recently had some wonderful times & I forgot about most of them because I didn't upload photos. And if I don't have photos to look at, I forget whatever it was that was wonderful happened. It happens with old age. And I'm old.

Proof: These pictures were taken on my 28th birthday:

It was a wonderful time, minus the turning 28 part.

More to come. After I figure out how to upload to Facebook because apparently it's been so long since I've done it that I forget.

Five

2011-06-02T19:18:00.000-04:00

sometimes I write to my husband on my blog and invite you to read it:

Dear David,

Finally! Five! For an entire year you can feel right about the length of time we've been married because it's the number 5- and your OCD can relax.

I was thinking recently about a conversation I had with my mom the year before she died- we talked about you & our relationship. I think we were going through a rocky patch & I just needed some motherly advice. I'll never forget what she said- it was something to the effect of her always feeling like my dad was the right one for her, but never really knowing for sure until he took care of her when she got sick. She said her hope for me was that I would be with someone who would take care of me- and be there during the worst times in life like my dad was for her.

As I've thought of that recently, I've been thinking of all the times you've been there for me. And I wanted to share a few:

There was that time you made me start to see Heather, my counselor. I credit my time with her for figure out how to be "okay" again.
There were the days you got me out of bed because I wasn't going to get out myself
There are all the times you've taken care of me when I've been sick, and left me the little bell by the bed that I could ring if I needed you.
There are all the times you have encouraged me to take vitamins so I can be healthier
There is that one time you cleaned up after I pooped the bed because I was so sick (Yep, I admitted that online) and called the doctor at 2 am & then took me the hospital the next morning
There are all the nights you've slept on the couch so you wouldn't get me sick
There were those years you loved me even though I blogged about vampires most of the time

And I have a feeling I'm forgetting so much more. I love you David Joseph Decker. More than I did 5 years ago. I hope & pray we never go through something like my parents did in their marriage, but if we do, I know you'll take care of me. And I hope you know I'll take care of you too. I wish my mom knew what an amazing husband you turned out to be!

I love you forever & always:

PS: For fun I am posting 1 picture from each year we've been married- all taken at a wedding!!!

2006- My cousin's wedding in Lancaster

2007- My cousin's wedding in Virginia

2008- A lifelong friend's wedding in Lancaster

2009- A childhood friend's wedding in Green Lane

2010- D's Best friend's wedding in Mexico (he wins)

And on Saturday we'll take a picture at the first wedding of 2011 & the start of our 6th year of marriage!!

LOVES

Song (and artist) I can't get out of my head

2011-05-26T12:59:00.001-04:00

Stop what you're doing & listen to this right now. Then listen to the rest of her album (you can stream it on Grooveshark. Sign up thru Facebook!) and cry with me. And love her Dylan cover of "Ring Them Bells'

Told ya!

(Ps It's Sarah Jarosz & the song is called The Tourist)

Rollin'

2011-05-19T12:10:00.000-04:00

Watch this:

To my sister Lydia: Your senior concert (the last one ever of high school, much to David's dismay) will be as good as this right?

via kelly

C'est la vie

2011-05-08T21:41:00.000-04:00

People ask if Mother's Day is hard. It's just as hard as any other day at this point. It's more the build-up to this day that is the worst. The constant reminders from the media & advertisers & stores & anyone trying to sell anything that you're supposed to remember your Mom on May X. I know. I get it. I remember her every day. Believe me. I wrote this email to friends of mine on November 17th, 2005. It brought back a lot of memories, most of them

To all who've cared so much:
So by the time I finish this e-mail, it will be November 17th, exactly 2 months from my mom's death. And because I more than likely have only given you a half honest answer when you've asked me how I'm doing, I for some reason find it easier to write how I'm doing. So I'm gonna be honest..

Most of the time, I'm not doing too well..Have I laughed? Sure, I've been able to have a good time and have fun. My familiy has shared new memories and moments we'll cherish together (and don't worry, the shopping trips, reunions in new york and whatever else we've done together have been just what i've needed)..... but at the end of the day, when I'm lying in bed, none of the fun or new memories seem to matter. It's the old memories, the specific details of my life with my mom that haunt me when I'm alone. My brain seems to be trying so hard to recall everything I konw about her- everything I've experienced, and engrave it in my head as to never forget it.. like how I heard "i love you" for the last time, 2 months ago tonight.

I think what surprises me most is how unreal it still feels. I was driving the other day and I literally said outloud, "okay, you can come back now." and I was at her grave on Sunday contemplating digging up the still freshly turned dirt so I could see her face (don't call the mental ward.. i won't..) and i've even prayed for her to be brought back from the dead.... it sounds crazy, I sound crazy... but it's what I've done.

I can honestly say it has gotten worse. The flowers have all died, the meals are slowly stopping, the cards are few and far in between and a lot of people seem to think "wow, they're doing really great- they're really progressing quickly." someone stopped me at church and while I'm sure he just said this b/c he felt awkward and didn't know what to say, he said, "So, how are things? getting back to normal?" NORMAL!??? No, sir. and they never will be.. Normal doens't exist for me anymore. Normal is my mom, alive, enjoying the beautiful fall that she loved so much. Normal is not an empty chair next to my dad at the dinner table, normal isn't what we're "getting back to."

I've heard that, that it gets worse before it gets better.... but what scares me the most is... whatever "getting better" means... it's not gonna bring her back... so I wonder what the point is... Speaking honestly, tonight was a rainy dark night on my drive home, and I was making a difficult left hand turn into traffic... for a split second, I imagined getting hit by two oncoming cars.... I never thought i could think like that.. it makes me think of this song lyric "I never really dreamed of heaven much Until we put (her) in the ground."

So when you ask "how are you doing?" and I say "i'm okay..." this is what I mean.... and I probably don't want to talk about it... but thanks for asking, it means the world that you care. and i want to continue having fun and making new memories with you.. and maybe someday "okay" will mean something different.

For now, I'm just this kind of okay...
Love,
Bekah

That was dark. I was dark. I still am dark. But I'm also okay. "Okay" means all of the above & so much more from the past 5+ years. And I've learned to have a peace about that. A peace that goes away a lot & then comes back. Thankfully. It's life. It's my life. My every day reality. Today was okay. Full of friends, family & love. Tomorrow? I'll take it as it comes. xo

Things I miss....

2011-04-21T10:21:00.000-04:00

Been having a down few days (weeks? Month?), and I thought I'd share a few things that have been on my mind that I miss:

I miss feeling inspired

I miss being creative

I miss having a clean house

I miss having things to write about on the Buttons Blog

I miss being healthy (I've been sick for approximately 48 hours & it feels like a lifetime)

I miss having a dream

I miss meeting new friends on the internet

I miss my sister Rachael (she's in Bolivia)

I miss feeling in shape

I miss having nothing to do (I'm blessed & cursed with so many people to love)

I miss feeling productive at work

I miss those laugh-at-loud-it-hurts-my-stomach moments

I miss singing

I miss sleeping uninterrupted by kitty cat paws at 4, 5 and 6 am (It's not cute)

I miss my mom (you know how a mom loves you like no one else can? when she dies no one loves you like that anymore. yeah, it sucks)

I miss vacationing in paradise

I miss having extra money for stupid things

I miss spending time with David (when I'm not half asleep, on the couch, looking-like-hell-exhausted)

Now that I'm done being superficial (and sorta not in other ways), I'll share a picture of my cat staring out into the neighborhood, with a pretty church steeple in the background:

(Hot Tip: If you're ever in that steeple, since it's the highest point on the street, you might see a naked girl. That girl is me. I stand naked in front of the windows for all the Gargoyles at the church)

A ceremony....

2011-04-13T22:43:00.000-04:00

Hi. I'm still alive. Seriously. Instead of boring you with how busy & exhausted I am, I'll tell you a story:

A few weeks back, Nicole & I bought Laura a necklace. We loved it so much we wanted to figure out a way to keep it for ourselves. Which is difficult when it's one necklace. Sooooooo I had the brilliant idea that we were going to buy 2 more & then we'd all have necklaces. And they'd be our friendship necklaces. Yes, like we're 7 year olds.

So weeks later, after Nicole & I have worn our necklaces multiple times (much to Laura's sadness- she didn't have hers yet!) we finally wore our necklaces together. After we had a friendship ceremony, of course. (Which consisted of food, drinks, sweet words, tears & watching of "The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood," obviously) Then we tried to get a picture together, showing off our necklaces. But that just resulted in a bunch of bad pictures and a lot of laughter.

Which I now present to you in the .gif format:

I Love you N & L! xoxo

Reunited

2011-03-28T20:04:00.000-04:00

I'm gonna brag for a minute so you'll just have to bear with me, but I'm a pretty lucky person. When I was baby I "met" friends who I still talk to to this day. Those friendships went on (and other friends were added!) through the awkward braces & glasses years of junior high, the confusing years of high school & those years during church youth group where you learn things you just end up un-learning in college & beyond. When I think about what it really means that I've literally known some of these girls (and boys, but today we're just talking girls) since before I could talk or walk, it's just amazing! I complain to David (sarcastically & kiddingly- I don't actually mean this AT ALL) that I wish sometimes I could be "lonely." I'm never lonely. I don't have time to be lonely. I've very rarely been lonely in my life (except for those times Freshman year in college when my friends forgot me when they went to dinner. I know you're sorry, Wheeks, and that it was just because I was ALL THE WAY down at the other end of the hall.)

When I recapped my weekend to Nikki she said, "You had a REUNION of old friends at your house? I don't think there are 10 people I care to talk to from my past." Well, I do. Because these 10 special woman who came to my house Saturday night have meant a lot to me over the years. Despite not talking to many of them much or at all in recent years, these girls have been instrumental in shaping who I am. So to have them all under my roof, drinking one of the many magnums of red wine that were dropped off, eating my smelly cheese (oops- the Brie went bad) and laughing together was so very special.

I wanted to make sure they wouldn't miss my door, so I decorated it a la freshman dorm-style with the worst possible pictures of us growing up:

Pictures of me in glasses & braces= approximately 82%

[Side story: When David got home that night (at 4 am) he rode the elevator with Drunk Neighbor Girl. She said to him (Mind you he had left the house before the door decorating begun) "Ohhh you're the one with the house with the door pictures. I love the door pictures." And he, guessing what I had done since he knows my love for embarrassing pictures of myself, said "Yes… my wife had some high school friends over tonight…" to which Drunk Neighbor Girl responded, "I'm on her side. I'm on her side."]

Between us on Saturday Night, we had:

2 with the same name, different spelling
3 nurses
2 Teachers
4 "Business professionals" (I rule at categorizing)
2 fluent Spanish speakers (3? Do you still speak it, Julia!?)
3 Philadelphia residents
5 live within 10 miles of where we grew up
8 Marriages
2 engagements (with basically the same exact engagement ring)
2 with men named Brian
2 pregnant bellys
9 kids (4 girls & 5 boys!)

And 2 missing friends (Becky & Brittany we missed you!)

I love you girls! Let's not wait another 10 years to be reunited.

Name: Leanne (Monga)
Status: I see her quarterly & she sends me weekly emails that kill me with hilariousness
Fun Fact: Despite dating multiple men of the Latin race, she is marrying a white boy who uses twitter for spelling lessons
Known since: Approximately 1997


Names: Jen (L) and Renee (R) Status: I ran into Jen once at the ob-gyn a few years ago. Renee & I haven't seen each other in way too long Fun Fact: Jen does a South Park impression you'll remember 12 years later. Renee has baby #2 on the way and isn't saying what she's having! (I think it's a girl) Known since: Jen- 7th grade? 6th maybe? Renee & I met in 9th grade- 1998

Names: (L to R) Lara C, Danielle, Julia, Jess, Laura D. (I mean E- just reverted to high school there)
Status: I see Lara maybe once a year, Danielle lives in South Philly so I see her more often, Julia & I got dinner around Christmas time 3-4 years ago, Jess was over Friday night (and probably the Fri. before) and Laura & I live 2 blocks away & got mani-pedis that morning!
Fun Facts: Lara is getting married in June! Danielle is having a baby in May (I think it's a boy), Julia looked like a 20-something woman in high school & still does! Jess spends 2-3 days a week with my sister Abby & Laura just recently declared she might be becoming a cat person (which gave me great joy)
Known Since: Lara- 1st or 2nd grade, Danielle- met in 9th, but not friends till 10th (Right?) Julia- 1996, Jess- crap. Worst friend. Probably 1996ish? Laura- 1997 (but I knew OF her for many years before!)


Names: Ashley (L) & Teresa (R) Status: I see Ashley quarterly. Teresa & I reconnected in December & have seen each other a few times since! Fun Facts: (I was going to say Ash's hair is naturally that blonde, but I think she actually recently got highlights) Ash probably knows me better than anyone. Teresa has THREE boys and the youngest are twins & are so freaking cute! Known since: Birth. Literally

Love you girls!

The going's on...

2011-03-23T20:45:00.000-04:00

I feel uncentered. I have a lot on my mind- more than I'm able to process right now. PLUS my e-mail inbox is over-flowing (There are 23 personal emails I haven't responded to & probably 30 at work. YES that's a lot. For me). Seems like a small thing, but you can gauge how my life is going by how caught up I am on e-mails. (Oh, don't get me started on the secret blog's email account. Last I checked there were over 600)

I know, I know.. why don't I stop complaining about it by BLOGGING & instead just respond to some damn e-mails right? I will.... but blogging, my friends, is online journaling. Journaling for the world (aka 88 followers) to read. I don't journal personally- tried it, hate it, can't do it. So I blog. If it bothers you you can stop reading it OR send some emails back & forth with good friends complaining about how annoying I am (Been there, done that. Have some emails of that sort to respond to) I have no idea why I went on THAT tangent.. no one has ever complained to me about my online "journaling."

See? Uncentered.

I've been hurting for my friends
I haven't talked to my dad in AGES (working for my dad does not equal talking to my dad)
I worked a 9.5 hour day
"Mom-stuff" has been on my mind a lot lately. And that sucks
Oh- I haven't eaten anything since my bagel this morning (And It's 8:20 pm)
I feel like a bad sister (Partly because I can't remember the city in Bolivia where Rachael is let alone remember to send her peanut M&Ms)
There are important people in my life I haven't caught up with in far too long
And it's FREEZING, rainy & maybe going to snow. Bleh

However.... I do actually try to see the bright side of things... that is:

I got a lot done at work
I actually want to talk to my dad
I caught up with a childhood friend today for the first time in a year. His birthday is today:
I'm past the point of hunger so I might not even eat (Plus I have to get in a bathing suit next week & this will help me feel better about that. KIDDING. No seriously. I love to eat. I am positive I'll have something fried with a beer in a little bit)
I have amazing friends & we take care of each other (read: feed each other. Except today apparently. Where are you amazing friends?)

One amazing friend, asleep on my couch
This weekend I'm hosting a high-school girlfriend get-together that will be unlike anything my 750 sq. feet of lofted space has ever seen before. We might track down these guys to recreate this photo (Leanne keep perfecting that bitch face. It's almost there)

I'm going to Florida next week
Then I'm going to Nashville & Atlanta where I will be reuinited with these 2 (which is mostly just exciting because we can take a picture without the date 2005 or 2006 on it):

Now it's 8:43pm... but I just got the call to meet David & a friend at the bar down the street which means I will soon be full & tipsy. Just what this rainy night and sucky past few weeks with glimpses of happiness deserves.

Stuff my mom never taught me

2011-03-17T14:39:00.000-04:00

Every time I am in my kitchen cooking (which, believe it or not, has been quite often lately) I am reminded that there are so many things my mom didn't get to teach me before she died. Basically it boils down to: How to do anything in the kitchen. I like to blame cancer because, let's face it, cancer sucks & should be blamed for everything, but she was diagnosed when I was 15 & spent quite a few years very sick. So much of my teenage & college days at home were spent eating meals provided by the many amazing friends & family that fed our family for so many years. So instead of learning the valuable skills a mother passes on to a daughter on how to do anything in the kitchen, I learned how to heat up frozen lasagna. And then take leftovers down into the basement freezer, never to be thought of again until 3 years after her death when we realize there's a hell of a lot of frozen lasagna in the basement.

So yes, I am blaming my lack of culinary skills on my deceased mother. (Let's forget the fact that I have a very talented-in-the-kitchen younger sister. Clearly we were raised by two different people.) OR It's not actually my deceased mother's fault & I was just being a bratty teenager anytime she tried to impart wisdom upon me (true). But...she's not here to stick up for herself so she gets the blame (See what I did there!? Made lemonade out of lemons! Made a joke despite a crappy situation! It's called healing people! I'm DOING IT!)

Either way, I suck when it comes to that Martha Stewarty stuff & here are a few examples I realized the other night:

I don't own a real cheese grater. Because when I got married I thought one of these things that they use at the Olive Garden was much more practical
WRONG:

I bought pans on sale at Bed Bath & Beyond. Because who needs nice pans? Oh, people who don't want pieces of METAL PAN flaking into their food 5 years later, that's who:

And what do I need an actual kitchen for? A little counter-top space along a wall is fine. And it is. Except when we attempt to do anything other than put mail on the counter:

And you don't need a kitchen table if you eat out for every meal! Again, this is a true statement, except when you do actually want to have guests over & then you tell them to "Sit on the floor around the coffee table. Oh and use a coaster. And don't spill anything on David's computer. And sorry that the cats will probably jump up & get hair in your food"

Grrr… mom! Do you see what leaving me far too young has done here!? My Olive Garden-kitchen guarantees that cat hair ends up on my guest's plates. I blame cancer!!

(In other news, I promise to post a new video of me cooking soon because it IS quite a site to behold!)

Noah

2011-03-11T19:40:00.000-05:00

my heart is heavy from the loss of a baby i've loved for 9 months but will never know. i'll love you & think of you always, noah enoch. i know my mom is singing you lullabies tonight. i'll never forget...

Accessorize

2011-03-07T19:50:00.002-05:00

This was me today:

(this is called a gif. They are fun to make. and fun to look at, especially when starring Chuck Bass & a limo. Also I have no idea why I'm suddenly blue in that one pic)

Besides looking like I'm about to serve you bottomless breadsticks at your local Olive Garden, I was wearing a new shirt. I like it. However, I realized something about myself as I was getting dressed this morning: I don't accessorize. Ever.

Maybe I throw on a necklace now & again. And I always wearing my wedding rings, but that's about it. (Except for when I remember to wear "Buttons for Bekah Buttons" which is a story for another time. And probably never. I wish though. I wish)

While I thought that shirt deserved a nice drop down necklace in gold, I don't have one of those. However, I DO have a jewelry box I just recently dug out of my closet, and inside I found these treasures:

A teeny-tiny necklace that peeks below my collar & a terribly-tight-it-almost-cuts-off-circulation gold watch. Both belonging to my mother.

I liked my accessories today (minus the wrist pain) and I hope that there is more accessorizing in my future

(Those of you who look like a "closet threw up on you" (which is a look I love, so congrats) are laughing that I consider THIS accessorizing, I know. But a girl's got to start somewhere!!)

I want to blog more

2011-03-06T17:29:00.000-05:00

I have to title my post as you see above if I'm going to justify this purchase I'm pretty sure I'm about to make:

The Editor: A blogging planner

Look how freaking cute! It helps you track, organize & plan daily & weekly blog posts! For a whole YEAR! This will surely help me post on the Buttons Blog more, right!?

Because I really DO want to post more on the Buttons blog. Can you help me? Keep me accountable. Bug me about it. Even if you don't really care if I do or do not post. Make me do it anyway. That's what friends are for. (Oh, and while you're at it, please give me ideas on what I should Buttons blog about)

And if you're looking for a gift idea for me.... well, The Editor is a good start :)

Sometimes it hurts instead

2011-03-04T19:11:00.002-05:00

Since I first streamed this album a month or so ago when NPR had a "First listen," I have listened to this song over and over again. I found myself repeating it this afternoon during my last 2 hours of work. I can't stop. It doesn't get old. And even though I tweeted, Facebook & probably blogged (I didn't, I just checked) this live version, I'm doing it again. Because if you haven't listened yet then perhaps 3rd times the charm. Listen, Cry, Love with me.

I've never had a broken heart. But I feel like I have after listening to Adele sing this. The story isn't anything new- but this songwriter* got it right. And then of course Adele has the heart-breaking voice that the song deserves.

Plus her EYES! How do I do my EYES like that!?

*apparently she wrote it. I'm in love even more

Crafty Buttons

2011-02-27T17:30:00.002-05:00

In case you were wondering about my weekend, I learned how to embroider.

Yes. You read that right. Go back re-read if you'd like.

No- embroider isn't some term for something you do on the computer. It's not a new game to play with your cats. Nope, it's not even a new social networking site. I used an actual needle, fabric & thread (called "floss"- look at me) and a quick lesson from my sister Snails to create this masterpiece:

I know, I know, you're impressed. And I was barely trying. I just did that to test out my stitching skills. Watch out, I'm getting serious during the Oscars tonight. I even ventured out into the beautiful spring-like weather to buy patterns from my favorite crafty store. I just created my first "Buttons design" (Very complicated- my initials, a flower & a heart) and am going to start stitching in a few hours.

If you're lucky, I'll share my abilities with a tutorial from Buttons TV. If you're lucky.

Love,
Crafty Buttons

PS: After David texted a friend today jokingly saying we'd only come to his house if he provided snacks and he thought we were serious, I realized sometimes the sarcastic humor that the Deckers (D= Decker. I'm smart) quite often use might not translate online or through texts. So, just to clarify: I do not think the above D is impressive. I do not plan to make any sort of "serious" tutorial where I impart upon you my crafty wisdom (but I might make a pretend serious tutorial). And I don't think you're "lucky" if I teach you anything, but I am 100% completely and truly serious about embroidering. And I'm so excited to do it tonight during the Oscars. I will never explain when I'm being sarcastic again so be warned. The End.

A note on my desk

2011-02-21T12:42:00.000-05:00

This morning I walked into my office (See picture below for the most inspiring image you'll ever see of my workspace. Yes that's a conference table for a desk. Yes those are 4 white walls with no windows. Yes that is (organized) clutter)

and was greeted with a note on my desk from my littlest sister. Lydia worked the retail counter in our showroom on Saturday. And by the tone of her note, I can tell she had a fabulous, productive, inspiring time at Spring Dance Hot Tubs. This is what the note said:

"I forget how exciting this job is. I have been perfecting my signature for quite some time. I also emailed several admissions counselors begging for scholarships because I need to go to college or else I will be working this job for the rest of my life. However, I did organize the Sunscents because under the counter is disgusting. I should probably get a raise. Especially since I didn't significantly screw anything up. Thanks for giving me a home on Thurs. night. I miss our sleepovers. I love you super much and hope your day is the best day you have had in 2011 yet. I will also be looking for new jobs for you because I don't know how you do this every day. Love Love Love you! (Turn over for a life-changing photo)"

I love her. You did make my day little one. And also reminded me of the time when I was your age & swore I'd never spend the rest of my life working for dad. Oops

xoxo

I'm all yours

2011-02-15T22:15:00.000-05:00

Today my sister Rachael left for Bolivia for 4 months. I won't see her again till June.

I thought that I might as well finish a project I started months ago since I was feeling sappy about her leaving. Last Halloween, my sisters & I did a photo-shoot in Philadelphia. The first part was in my neighborhood and the second was in the oldest neighborhood in the country- Elfreth's Alley.

Please watch this in full screen so you can get as sappy as I did. And thank Metric (And a Twilight movie) for the beautiful soundtrack. And Lindsey Patkos, photographer extraordinaire, for the gorgeous photos.

Sisters Forever from bekah buttons on Vimeo.

I love having 3 built-in best friends. I wish my mom could see us now.

Told you I got sappy.

Xoxo miss you already, Rachy.

Uninspired

2011-02-08T19:30:00.000-05:00

I'm SO uninspired lately. I could go on & on & on about my lack of creativity, my lack of focus & all the things swirling inside of my head that just end up in a mush causing me further confusion about my life & what I'm doing or should be doing or even want to be doing.

I've been reading the blogs and stalking the lives of people who generally inspire me, but lately find all it does is discourage me or bring up my insecurities and remind me of what I don't do well. It's been a good 2011 so far.

So basically all I have to look forward to is the lives of those in Rosewood, the Upper East Side & Mystic Falls. Yes those are places (some make-believe) where TV shows take place. And even they have been failing at their jobs.

But you know who is doing her job? Grace Freakin' Potter. Damn.

<p>&amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;gt;Who &amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;gt;</p>

move over Ezra, Chuck & Damon. Give me Grace

*I dedicate this to Lula who understands what I mean about my vices*

Lifelong Friends...

2011-01-22T20:51:00.000-05:00

Once upon a time I was in 8th or 9th grade, Drew, Laura & I became friends:

(I'm the one who looks like a molester)

and eventually Laura met Ryan

and then I met David

I was 11 in 1994

and a few years after that I married David

And Laura married Ryan

And eventually, Drew met Ashley and married her too

And years later we all ended up living in the same city, basically on the same street (although because it's a different neighborhood it's basically like Drew & Ashley lived in a different country.)

And one night we decided to get Thai food, cheap beers & some frozen yogurt, even though it was less than 20 degrees outside.

That night was last night. And it made me so glad that I am not only still friends with people I met 14 or 15 years ago, but my husband is friends with them too. And I love their husbands. And their wives. And we all love each other. And through thick & thin and all the experiences of the past & whatever is to come, we're still friends, even after all these years.


We also look less awkward and I no longer look like a molester. And that's nice too

That's all.