A Boy, A Girl, and Soccer

Random thoughts...

2012-03-12T13:47:00.000-04:00

I haven't been blogging lately. Not exactly sure why, nothing major going on over hear that would cause me not to, just kinda lost my mojo. With that being said I felt like I should at least put something down on paper and maybe this would spark something.

Right now I'm the only one in my family who is not battling a cold. I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to stay on top of the usual household duties because I fear it's only a matter of time before I feel the stuffy nose and scratchy throat coming my way. Gotta get it done now before I'm down for the count.

Soccer season is winding down for the athlete. He has two weeks left of indoor and then baseball begins. This is the first year that I can remember where he isn't playing soccer year round. This spring he is taking the season off. I think in the long run it will be good for him. I'm afraid if he continued to play year round without a break it would lead to a soccer burnout. This way he will get a chance to actually miss it and look forward to playing with a renewed sense of enthusiasm in the fall.

Princess started gymnastics again, one day a week and she will continue playing soccer through the spring. The coach will be busy once again coaching her and the other 8 and 9 year old girls twice a week. It's so funny to watch them when they get together for games and practices. They are so different from the boys team. Boys get right down to business. With the girls, soccer is more of a social event then a competition. The coach spends the first 5 to 10 minutes just getting their attention and getting them to stop chatting and listen. It's so funny!

The past couple months I've been making some changes of my own as well. Not quite ready to share the details yet, but I will say that I am pleased with the changes I'm making and it's something that needed to be done a long time ago. It's making me a happier mom, wife, and in general a happier me. I promise to share with you all soon.
Thanks for sticking by me during this dry spell.

February Vacation Week Recap...

2012-02-29T10:21:00.001-05:00

Our vacation week was suppose to kick off with a bang. A trip to Disney on Ice on Friday night, the 17th but with a hectic work day for the coach and a migraine for me, we decided to forgo the event. The princess handled it impressively and earned some bonus points in my book for being so flexible and understanding. If this had been an event geared towards the athlete he would have flipped his lid and made our night a living hell.

Thankfully we had another blogger event to attend on Monday afternoon. The whole family made the trek into Cambridge to preview the new Playstation Vita hand held video gaming system before it was available to the general public. The athlete of course was pumped.

Let me apologize in advance for the crappy cell phone pics. I never remembered to grab my good camera the entire week.

The new PS VITA

The princess could have cared less but when she found out another family from town was going and her partner in crime was attending, she was all for it!

The athlete got to play video games and hang out with a friend from school. Double bonus!

This was also the first vacation week where both kids spent the entire week hanging out/playing/having sleepovers with their friends. It was a whirlwind of a week for me. Keeping track of who was where, who was coming over, and when I needed to pick someone up. All while running the daycare at the same time. It was exhausting but so worth it to see my kids having so much fun on vacation week.

The athlete also entered a dodge ball tournament and put a team together to compete against other middle school teams. Friday was the big day. Luckily I only had one daycare child that day and she was a peach! She loved sitting on the bleachers and cheering the athlete and his teammates on.

The boys made it to the finals after three undefeated rounds. It was a double elimination tournament. In the finals they played the oldest team there. They lost the first game but were victorious in the second game clinching victory!

Here they are posing after the games proudly proclaiming their number one status.

They had a blast and I had so much fun watching and cheering them on. I learned something that day too. I am a LOUD mouth! When watching my kids participate in anything of a competitive nature, I can't help but yell and cheer at the top of my lungs! Thank God they don't care that I do this because I don't think I could stop myself if I wanted to. It's just something that takes over. It doesn't help that I usually have my partner in crime sitting right next to me doing exactly the same thing! You know who you are!

Saturday, the princess attended a Pump it Up birthday party. We have been to many of these. But never a glow in the dark Pump it Up party. This was a first. Think blasting music, dark room, glow in the dark necklaces around everyone's necks, and disco balls flashing colored lights and spinning all around the room. I was nauseous and had a mega headache by the time we left the psychedelic arena and entered the room for cake and ice cream. Not my idea of a good time, but I sucked it up like a good mom.

It's hard to tell in this picture but here is princess flying down the giant slide in the dark. You can sort of make her out at the bottom. See the neon necklace around her neck? `

And finally what vacation isn't complete without a trip the to the emergency room? On Sunday the princess was hit with a violent stomach bug. She missed a double header soccer game that she had been so excited to play in and was really disappointed earlier in the day. As she continued to get sicker by the hour, she stopped caring about missing the games and only wanted relieve from the nonstop stomach pains she had.

By 5pm that night she had thrown up 15 times and was showing no signs of stopping. She was listless, not talking at all, just tiny little groans and whimpers were escaping. We made the decision to bring her in before it got any later and she dehydrated any more. Several hours later after a dose of Zofran, a popsicle and juice, the princess came back to life. We were home by 9:45pm. She was asleep as was the rest of my family. I unfortunately was wired from the ordeal and the medium ice coffee I consumed while we waited might have played a part in that as well! I put her to bed and sat in our quiet living room watching what was left of the Oscars.

Here she was before bouncing back to life. Such a poor pitiful little thing. I felt terrible for her. Retching over and over like that non stop takes a lot out of a little girl.

I did end up taking Monday off to make sure the princess had plenty of time to recuperate. Which ended up being time for me to rest up a little as well after a long, crazy, fun-filled vacation week. I'm good to go now. Bring on April vacation, with lots more adventures, more fun, including another dodge ball tournament to defend their title, and while I'm at it,

NO ER visits please.

First ever Girl and Her Guy Dance at Princess's school...

2012-02-13T16:22:00.000-05:00

Last Friday night our schools' PTA held the first ever Girl and Her Guy Dance as a fundraiser. The princess was so excited and began planning the entire evening from start to finish, the first day the notice came home in her backpack.

The list was long and very specific. It included what to wear, for both herself and her daddy, as well as how to do her hair, what accessories and jewelry to wear, and a long list of do's and don'ts for her father to follow. Number one on her list: Do not embarrass me!

The big night came and along with it, a BIG attitude. I spent close to two hours alone with that child trying to get her ready. We had a melt down over the dress and ended up going with a back up dress that mind you needed to be stitched last minute because the black shoulder strap had torn clean off! (And why had said strap torn off you ask? Because it was not properly taken care of by the princess herself.)

Next flip out moment, her hair. She didn't want it curled under she wanted it to be straight. Unfortunately what she doesn't get is that her hair was cut into a style that while absolutely adorable for an 8 year old little girl, prevents it from drying perfectly straight at the end. Not easily explainable to a hysterical and over excited child.

Throw into the mix a little tiny pimple on her nose and you have a recipe for a complete and utter meltdown of the third kind by said little girl. A few deep breaths by mom and a dab of miracle cover up made it all better. Crisis averted and her threats of not going to the dance quelled.

I left the house to go pick up the athlete from soccer training feeling a little sad. I wasn't able to take a single picture of the two of them. With all her antics I lost track of time and had to rush out the door. Thanks to the mom of one of princess's friends, I got these emailed to me that night. She snapped some great ones while they were at the dance. Memories captured!!

This one is my absolute favorite!

Seeing the two of them together like this makes the two hours of hell I went through with her all worth while. I would do it all over again in a heart beat for moments like that.

Car conversations and words of wisdom...

2012-01-24T10:14:00.001-05:00

Normally driving around in the car with my two children is not a pleasant experience. They both fight for my attention and want to discuss all things philosophical, (for some reason when we get in the car they become very inquisitive. One on one I enjoy a car ride with either of my kids but me alone with both of them spells disaster!) When they aren't bombarding me with questions they spend their time pissing each other off. Either way I spend most of my time as a referee and concentrating on driving them around safely.

Occasionally I get rare moments of peace and casual conversation between the athlete and the princess. Moments like last night. I simply sat listening to them talk with a smile on my face trying not to laugh as the athlete passed on some important insights and words of wisdom to his little sister.

It began with the princess telling me a story of how "so and so" asked "so and so" out and he said yes, so now they are "going out". (On a side note, we are talking about 8 and 9 year olds here!) I replied to her that at her age boys and girls do not belong "going out", that they are too young. Boys and girls should be friends and concentrate on school.

This is where the athlete piped up and I just sat there and listened.

The athlete: "Princess you are too young to have a boyfriend. When you're my age you can" (Another side note, the athlete is 11!) You have to be in middle school or it isn't real."

He pauses for a minute and then reconsiders: "Well actually, Dad probably won't let you have a boyfriend at my age."

The princess in a shocked tone: "WHY?"

The athlete: "Well because Dads tend to let their boys do things earlier than they let their girls."

The princess even louder: "WHY?"

The athlete: "Well because they just feel different about their girls then they do their boys. Boys can have a girlfriend and it just slips by them but with their girls they say no to a lot more. Dad's don't want their girls to have a boyfriend till their like 14 or 15, right mom?"

The princess: "WELL THAT'S NOT FAIR! IS THAT TRUE MOM?"

Now I find myself in the hot spot. I'm trying so hard not to laugh at this point because I find it so funny that the athlete has clued in on how protective their father is over princess and even funnier that she is getting pissed about this double standard as she learns more and more about it! My answer to them both?

"Well yeah, you're both kinda right.", hoping to diffuse the situation a little.

Before I could say anything more, the princess infuriated now, blurted out: "WELL I'M NOT HIS WIFE!!!!! HE CAN'T TELL ME THAT!!!"

I lost it then and laughed so hard I had my diet coke coming out my nose. And I thought silently to myself, I can see the future now, and boy oh boy is it gonna be a bumpy ride! She thinks I'm the tough one now, but I can't wait for the tables to turn and she goes toe to toe with her Dad!!

To coupon or not to coupon, update...

2012-01-18T14:01:00.000-05:00

So the first week in January I bought the Sunday paper and I clipped my coupons and got myself a coupon folder. I then organized my shopping trip by sales and coupons and my needs for the week. Here's a run down on what I've learned so far:

First you're all probably dying to know how much moola I saved. So without further ado...

Week 1 Results:

$26.00

Now for some of you that might not seem like that much but for me on my first try? I don't think that's too shabby. Even more of a surprise was not only did I save $26 bucks but the amount of food I came home with was double what I usually buy. That was what hooked me! Take a look at my fully stocked fridge/freezer and pantry:

Now what you can't see in these photos is that I have 3 gallons of milk, 2 gallons of Silk Almond milk, and in the pantry I am fully stocked all the way to the back of the shelves with cereal, soup, pasta, crackers, granola bars, pasta sauce, salad dressings, and kitty treats. I spent my normal amount but what I actually bought made me giggle! There is nothing worse than going grocery shopping, spending a small fortune, and after unloading and putting everything away, your cabinets and fridge still look bare. That really sucks! But not this time!

Week 2 Results:
Saved $18.00 total. Came under budget by $20 and came home with a completely loaded up trunk full of groceries, again!

The only down side to this money saving adventure is the amount of time invested between coupon clipping, organizing, and believe it or not, the actual shopping. First week took me 3 hours! Second week I was down to 2 hrs. And both times I shopped at two different stores to get the best deals, something I never do.

Conclusion:
I'm hooked. I like a challenge. I like getting the best deals possible. I feel like I've won something. Even my kids are thrilled because come Thursday or Friday when we usually are running low on food in the house, both weeks we have had plenty to still choose from. My goal is to save at least $30 a week by using coupons and get my weekly budget down $50 a week.

A new look, for a great cause...

2012-01-11T13:23:00.002-05:00

The princess decided to start 2012 with a whole new look. (Entirely her idea, I might add!)

She wanted a new do, and a new do she sure did get!

The princess had a whopping 10 INCHES chopped of her head. I actually got nauseous when the scissors went through it hacking off all her beautiful golden hair. Don't get me wrong, I don't think cutting your hair is that big of a deal. It will always grow back. But just seeing that long ponytail suddenly UN-attached to her head made me feel like I was going to faint.

The other thing that I didn't realize until posting these pictures is just how dark her hair seems to be getting. (Insert a slight disappointed mama sigh here), I was really hoping she was going to keep her beautiful blonde hair but it looks like we may have just cut off all that remained of it. Look at how dark her new hair is growing in from her roots!!!!

But alas, at least another child will be able to benefit and enjoy all those gorgeous blonde tresses because the princess had exactly enough hair cut off to donate it to Lock of Love.

And that makes me really happy.

Disney on Ice Dare to Dream Giveaway...

2012-01-10T14:41:00.002-05:00

CONTEST CLOSED

For anyone out there who has a Disney princess lover at home I am so thrilled to be able to offer my fabulous readers the opportunity to win a 4 pack of tickets to opening night Friday, February 17th at 7pm at the TD Garden!!!!

Show description courtesy of Feld Entertainment:
"Get tangled up in the newest thrilling show to hit the ice, Disney On Ice presents Dare to Dream. Experience Disney’s hilarious hair-raising escapade, Tangled; as Rapunzel, her unlikely companion, Flynn, and Maximus, embark on an uproarious journey that takes adventure to new lengths! Boogie to the beat of the bayou with Princess Tiana and Prince Naveen in a magical, musical journey that all begins with a fateful kiss. And fanciful dreams become reality as Cinderella meets her Prince Charming, with a glass slipper fit for an unforgettable fantasy come true. All your favorite princesses take to the ice in a spectacular finale at the ultimate Disney Princess event of a lifetime! Experience the beauty, sparkle, and spirit when Disney On Ice presents Dare to Dream comes to your hometown!"

To get a sneak peek, click on the video below.

If you can't attend the show on opening night but still want to buy tickets for another show, here is a direct link to purchase tickets: http://bit.ly/vMUbYH

Now for the important stuff! How to enter:

Mandatory entry: Leave a comment on my blog telling me who is your little one's favorite Disney princess. Make sure your email address is with the comment so I can reach you if you win.

For extra entries:
*Follow this blog on google friend connect (1 entry)
*Follow me on twitter: @beenomom (1 entry)
*Share this giveaway link on your Facebook page and comment here that you did (1 entry)

Contest closes on January 30th. Winner will be chosen by Random.org and notified via email. Tickets will be held at will call and available for pick up the night of the show. Good luck!

To coupon or not to coupon...

2012-01-09T16:25:00.000-05:00

As a rule of thumb I don't coupon. Every once in a while I will pull out a coupon that I have been given and use it on a purchase. Normally I will hold onto said coupon and it will expire sitting in my purse before I remember I even had it.

I'll admit too that I have been sucked in by the Extreme Couponing Show on TLC but I get frustrated every single time I watch it and see women loading up their carts with 100 bottles of hot sauce or 200 rolls of Mentos. That is NOT grocery shopping or nor are you saving money on weekly groceries.

But on the flip side I know women in real life who are religious couponers and save a lot of money while shopping realistically for their families' groceries. People like "The Coupon Goddess" or "Couponing to Disney" mom. Even Heather from "Making it Work Mom" has a tween daughter who started couponing for her with much success!

After seeing all their success I have decided to give couponing a real shot. I got up early this morning and got the Sunday paper because it was well known in the coupon world that today's paper was a gold mine for couponers. I spent an hour cutting and browsing as well as planning my weekly shopping list.

I am armed and ready to go. I will hit the store and see how much I save buying the groceries I ACTUALLY need and want while using my coupons. Wish me luck! Update will follow.

Fashion Playtes Review; Where girls can design and wear their custom creations!

2012-01-04T10:39:00.004-05:00

Several weeks ago, the princess and I got a fabulous opportunity thanks to Fashion Playtes and Boston Parent Bloggers. She was able to design an outfit of her choice on their website. Then we attended a blogger event at their headquarters to participate in a fashion show where she modeled her one of a kind creation!

How cool is that? Ask any girl who is OBSESSED with fashion and she'll tell you it's a little girl's dream come true!

And would you look at this place! Very inviting and welcoming! What a cool place to work!

Their website: www.fashionplaytes.com is extremely user friendly. You can shop and design by categories such as: tops, dresses, bottoms, outerwear, accessories, lounge wear, and get this, dolls!! Want to have matching outfits that you created for your American Girl Doll? This is the place!

To get started simply pick your clothing, choose the color, and begin to embellish. Simple as that. You can add as much or as little as your like. When your finished your designer clothing will appear on your model right on the website. Your child can create as many designs as her little heart desires and keep them in her style book. (They don't all need to be purchased. That way they can be creative and play online without breaking the bank.) Whatever you decide to purchase gets shipped right to your door.

The princess chose a dress for her one of a kind creation. (Any chance to get dressed up and she's all for it!)

Here she is during her modelling shoot with another little friend from home who was also chosen for the event and came with us!

Before the fashion show the girls visited several stations set up around the room. Hair and makeup, interview, and photo shoot. All this went on while us moms got to learn more about the Fashion Playtes website and give our own input to the website "guru". All this while drinking sparkling cider and munching fabulous little sandwiches!

The event capped off with a walk down the runway for all the girls to show off what they had proudly created.

Here are all the girls acting goofy for Justine, the awesome lady from Fashion Playtes who coordinated the whole event.

We had a wonderful afternoon and the little princess really enjoyed showing off her custom made dress to all her friends at school the next week! It was a big hit.

If you have a fashion diva at home or know someone this would make a fabulous gift! Fashion Playtes offer gift certificates that you can buy and print out right from your computer. Go check them out and see what all the fun is about! www.fashionplaytes.com

Disclosure: I received a gift certificate to design and purchase an outfit from FashionPlaytes.com for a review. All opinions expressed here are entirely my own.

Formal introductions...

2011-12-29T20:28:00.000-05:00

Face Meet Pavement

Pavement Meet Face

The athlete was introduced to a new foe on Christmas day riding a friend's bike. He hit the brakes a little too hard and went up and over the handle bars and landed on his face. First biking accident ever, not bad for being 11 and a 1/2 years old. Now that formal introductions have been made, we hopefully won't be making them again in this house!

Vicks Winter Warmup Event with Dr. Meg Meeker...

2011-12-14T14:27:00.000-05:00

Last Thursday I had the pleasure of attending the Vicks Winter Warmup Event in Boston. The speaker for the event was pediatrician, author, and mom of 4, Dr. Meg Meeker.

The first thing that struck me about Dr. Meeker was how down to earth and easy to relate to she was. In her opening she explained how moms today put a ton of pressure on themselves to be the "perfect mom", and how we set ourselves up for constant internal criticism because being a perfect mom isn't realistic. She further explained that being perfect isn't really what our kids want. What they want is unconditional love. When she asks the children in her practice what they love most about their moms, most often their responses are: "My mom gives the best hugs!"

In her book The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers, Reclaiming Our Passion, Purpose, and Sanity, Dr. Meeker reveals the 10 most habits of healthy, happy moms. It offers ways to get rid of the mom guilt. (I haven't read her book yet, but we were each given a copy to take home for ourselves!)
Dr. Meg also discussed several beliefs she feels are very important as a mom.

1. You know your child best.

2. Trust your gut. When something doesn't feel right go with that feeling. If you aren't getting the answers you are looking for from your child's pediatrician, don't be afraid to push. You are your child's advocate and it's your pediatrician's job to find out the answers.

These little gems of wisdom I whole-heartedly agree with, in fact it's probably the best advice you could give to any first time mom.

With cold and flu season right upon us, it was the perfect time to discuss tips for dealing with a sick child and cold and flu prevention.

When your child has a fever treat it with a fever reducer such as Tylenol or Motrin. As long as the fever starts going down within the hour your good. If you aren't seeing any improvement or the fever goes higher you need to call your pediatrician.

Something interesting I learned from listening to Dr. Meg was that when a child has a fever and a febrile seizure occurs it is not caused from how high the fever is, but how FAST the temperature rises. Also once a child has a febrile seizure they are more likely to reoccur, so always be prepared. Always have a working thermometer in your home.
Another thing to remember: colds are caused from viruses and do not respond to antibiotics. Only a bacterial infection is treatable with antibiotics.

This doesn't mean you can't do anything to make your children feel better if they have a cold. You can do any of the following as needed:

*Use saline drops in the nose for congestion.

*Elevate the bed or crib by placing a pillow or folded blankets UNDER the mattress, never in the mattress it's poses a suffocation hazard.

*Give lots of fluids, especially with a fever, Pedialyte for children under 2. Gatorade or clear liquids for children over 2. Stay away from soda.

*Run a humidifier in the bedroom at night, it helps soothe vocal cords and prevent you nasal passages from drying out. Vicks has come out with a new line of humidifies, there is a type for everyone!

These two were my favorites!

Starry night displays stars on your child's ceiling in three different colors! How cool is that?

And for all you germ-a-phobes out there, Vicks makes a Germ Free humidifier!

As far as stopping the spread of germs: practice good hygiene and teach your children too.

Wash hands frequently with soap and water. Teach your children to cough and sneeze into their elbow, not their hands! Drink from paper cups when someone is ill in the home. Replace toothbrushes after an illness or monthly.

The thing to remember, and not beat yourself up about is this: Kids are going to get sick. We can do many things to reduce the amount of colds and sicknesses they get by practicing and teaching good hygiene. But when they do inevitably get sick and run a fever, trust your gut and do what you need to do to help your child get well.

Disclosure: I was compensated with lunch and a gift bag with Vick products. No monetary compensation was given. The opinions expressed here are my own.

Hot cocoa anyone?

2011-12-13T10:13:00.001-05:00

I love me a good cup of hot cocoa. It's one of the many holiday traditions that we have.

We decorate the tree and drink hot cocoa.

We go to the Santa parade and we buy hot cocoa at Dunkin Donuts beforehand.

Every year when we watch the Polar Express for the first time?

You guessed it. We drink hot cocoa.

You could say it's a staple here in our house starting in December and carrying through the cold winter months as well. This year it's been even better because the athlete can make it for himself and his sister using the microwave. A little milk or water in a mug, (I don't use water in mine. I think it's nasty that way!) A packet of your favorite hot cocoa mix, give it a stir and you're good to go.

Yesterday afternoon I promised the kids they could both have a cup as a treat after they finished their homework. I made some for the princess and when the athlete finished he quickly went right to work in the kitchen making his own.

"Mmmmmm, yummy", he declared as he carried his own mug into the livingroom. "Hot cocoa is so much better with milk than water." (For some reason he has always insisted on making his with water instead of milk. Apparently he decided to take my word for it and give milk a shot.) "I tried to tell you", I said with a smug little smile on my face.

Moments later I went to the kitchen feeling a little victorious over the fact that the athlete decided to try something I had suggested. He's at that age when he thinks he knows everything and God forbid his mother suggests something. Normally his response is an automatic no. Just because it came from me.

My smile quickly faded when I saw this:

Sorry for the crappy cell phone picture.

Yes, that is MILK in my Keurig machine. The athlete replaced the water with milk in the holding tank and brewed himself a delicious cup of hot cocoa, thanks to the fabulous suggestion of his mother. It took me 11 brew cycles to flush the Keurig and stop getting a gray mixture of milk and water out of my expensive coffee machine.

Me and my big mouth. I should have just let him stick with water and leave well enough alone. Lesson learned.

Addicted...

2011-12-07T16:26:00.001-05:00

My name is Theresa and I'm an addict.

Of Yankee Candles that is.

These are sitting on my kitchen counter and I burn one of these amazing holiday scents every day.
I'm ashamed to admit that I have 4 or 5 more hiding around here but they aren't holiday related so I don't burn them right now. These will probably last me a couple of weeks and then I'll need to restock to get me through the cold winter days ahead. My two favorites right now are Red Berry and Cedar and Hot Buttered Rum.

I love me some Yankee Candles!

Christmas shopping for the kiddos, equal gifts or equal amount spent?

2011-11-29T13:44:00.000-05:00

It's that time of year again. The TV is flooded with Christmas advertisements, the kids channels have new toy commercials on constantly. It seems like every single day a new toy or clothing catalog gets delivered in the mail. And, I swear to God, if I get one more 40% off EVERYTHING coupon from Justice, I might boycott the store all together. After all, how many freaking coupons from one store do you really need in one month?

Years ago it was really easy to shop for the kids when they were little. The coach and I actually used to take them with us half the time. At first we would tell them they were gifts for other people, like their cousins. Then we started hiding things in the carriage. Next we evolved to the good ole split up with a child and shop for the other one tactic. It was awesome and we got the job done. By the time Christmas strolled around, they had forgotten what we bought the month before anyway.

Even deciding what to buy was easy. Except for the athlete. This is a child that after the age of 2 stopped playing with toys. And I mean every single toy. He just wasn't a toy kind of kid. That didn't stop us foolish parents from buying him toys for Christmas every single year and shoving them down his throat, insisting that we could "teach" him to like to play with toys! (Yeah that worked out real well. It only took 5 or 6 years for us to realize we were spending a small fortune on things for him to open on Christmas morning, oooh and aaaaah over, and then never touch again.)

We finally smartened up and stopped wasting our money on crap he would never use. But, it makes it difficult to try and keep things fair between both our kids. The athlete tends to want/like more expensive items, while the princess is really into arts and crafts, toys, and clothes. We tried to spend an equal amount on both kids but what ended up happening is we would have a carriage full of stuff for the princess and maybe a handful of things for the athlete. One year the athlete had significantly less gifts to open than the princess. He was old enough to understand that his gifts cost a lot more money than his sisters. He did ok with that. But I felt terrible while he sat there and watched his sister open gifts for another 20 minutes after he had finished. I decided then it was not the way for my family to do things.

So again, I changed my philosophy. I decided that it's more important for my children to have close to the same amount of gifts to open under the tree than to have spent the same amount on each of them. After all, they aren't going to open their presents and then start calculating the total price of their loot! (At least mine don't anyway!) But I can tell you from my own childhood memories and 10 years of Christmas mornings with my own children, that they will keep track of the number of gifts they and their siblings receive! I would rather the obvious be more equal.

When all is said and done and I tally up the total spent for on both children, the difference is within a couple hundred dollars of each other. We're not talking about a huge amount more for one child over the other. So, that's my way of keeping it fair and the reasons why I do it. And I don't feel guilty about it one bit!

How do you play Santa for your children? Do you have the same problems with one child having a more expensive Christmas wish list than another? What is your fair way? I would love to hear how all the other moms out there do things!

My oldest niece...

2011-11-19T10:16:00.000-05:00

The Cousins

This picture is from a couple of years ago when we decided to surprise all the kids and take them on a Polar Express journey one night around Christmas.   Shame on me that I don't have a more recent one of all the kids together. So this one is just gonna have to do.

The athlete and the princess are very close with their cousins and as parents it's so nice to see the bond they have with each other and witness them grow up together. The oldest of the bunch is my sister and brother in laws daughter. She is the one in the back left corner in black. We'll call her K. She is 17 years old and a senior in high school. (Hard to believe that when I met the coach she was a busy, full of life little four year old with a head full of curls. Whenever it was time for us to leave after a visit she would run out in the yard and right up to the fence crying for her uncle not to leave. Every single time! I still remember like it was yesterday. God I'm getting old!)

Now in the blink of an eye, some 13 years later here she is, almost grown up. She is a big sister to 3, and cousin to 5. All of whom look up to her. And boy what a role model they have! I could not have hoped for a better niece to watch grow up, love like my own, and set the bar so high for the rest of the children coming up through the ranks after her.

She is mature and responsible, polite and kind. She is trustworthy and has a great head on her shoulders. For a parent I think these are all qualities that we work very hard to instill in our children. I look at her and hope that one day my children will grow up to be just like her.

K is the type of kid that knows what she wants and goes after it no matter what it might be. When she started high school something really clicked in her. She had her sights set on the future and going to college someday. She put her priorities in order and again dug in her heels. Her grades were amazing and something any parent would be proud of. She started taking AP classes and looking into prep courses to ready her for the SAT's. All this she did on her own because it's simply what she wanted. The typical parent nagging his or her teenager to buckle down and be responsible, think of the future scenario? Never an issue with this girl. She is a go getter.

When she decided to start playing softball and volleyball she did it the only way she knows how, with a hundred and ten percent effort. She never settles for being mediocre. If there is room for improvement she strives to reach it.  If obstacles get in her way she climbs over them. Failure is not a word in her vocabulary.

All of her hard work is paying off. Something amazing and truly deserved happened yesterday. K got her first early acceptance letter to the University of New Haven.   I can't even imagine what her parents must be feeling right now, but as her aunt I am filled with pride. The sky is the limit for this beautiful and talented young woman and I can't wait to see where her journey will take her.

K, your uncle and I love you so much. We are so unbelievably proud of you!!!

(Just don't ask me to ride in the car if you're driving, ever again!!!! Ha ha ha ha)

Love,

Auntie T

Why trick or treat sucked this year, well sort of...

2011-11-10T16:07:00.000-05:00

It started going down hill when trick or treat was cancelled due to a freak snow storm in October and was postponed until 5 days later.   It makes you really not even want to bother with the whole damn thing. It's kind of like, "Oh well, the moment has passed, why bother?" But of course, you have to man up and put on a good show for the the sake of the kids. So all morning I put a smile on my face and pretended to eagerly agree with them about how excited I was to go trick or treating with them later that evening.

Add to that a long day of work, and several phone calls from the school nurse about my daughter complaining of a stomach ache and soar throat. Finally on the second call I say screw it, close daycare early, and rush out the door to pick her up and jet over to the doctors for a rapid throat culture.   An hour later we get a negative result and I begin to realize that my child is just fine.   Suddenly she has made some kind of miraculous recovery and I have a hunch that something is going on at school because I've noticed a trend with the whole nurse and stomach ache thing, but that will have to be investigated at another time.

We sit in rush hour traffic trying to get back from the doctors' office, finally we make it through the door and there is my husband wrapped in a comforter on the couch shivering and ghastly pale with a fever of 103 and it dawns on me that I will be all on my own tonight. Meanwhile I had been trying to make plans to meet up with some others to go trick or treating in a group but I get a text that they've already ventured out without us.

Sweet, the night just keeps getting better and better.

Frustrated, I park on the side of the road in a neighborhood great for trick or treating. Tthe kids are upset about having to trick or treat without other children. Again, I rise to the occasion, put on a smile and say to them, "We can still have a great time guys! Don't worry about it, it will be fun, trust me!"   But what I'm really thinking is just how much the flipping night sucks and how badly I just want to go home and park my ass on the couch.

After about 20 minutes the princess starts slowing waaaaaaay down. She had insisted on wearing black high heel boots because they matched her costume and sneakers wouldn't. Of course it's much more important to look good than actually be practical, don'tcha know!    She wanted to go back to the car and be driven door to door. I had no issue with this at all, the problem was we were way deep into the neighborhood and had quite a hike back. We had no choice but to hoof it back to where I'd parked the car.

In all fairness to my kids, they were AMAZING the long, cold walk back. The athlete offered to carry the princess's candy bag and he even took it up to all the houses on the way back so she didn't have to walk to every door because her feet hurt. She in turn raved about him the entire time and even gave him a giant hug at one point!

Every once in a while they will both rally around each other and be there to support one another.  It's so reassuring and nice to see.   It gives me hope for the future that when they grow up they will have a close relationship and support each other. This was the highlight of my night! Very proud momma moment right there!

Our walk back was much slower but that was ok. We made it eventually. All three of us jumped in the car and proceeded to drive down the next street eager to keep trick or treating. Our spirits were lifting. I was warm, the princess was off her feet and the athlete was just happy to gather more candy. We made it to two more houses when at the third I heard the princess yell from the grass, "I smell poop!" As they made their way back to the car I heard her gag as she realized that her brother had stepped in dog crap. I jumped out to assess the situation and was blown back by the stench.

Upon further inspection I can report that he did not step in dog poop, he pretty much SUBMERGED his entire sneaker in a fresh pile o' crap. It. was. foul. There was no way in hell that sneaker was being salvaged, at least not on the side of the road. With that I made the decision to call it a night. Moans and protests rose up from both of them but I was done at that point. To top it all off, I had just cleaned my van that week and had nothing to put that putrid smelly sneaker in. We had to ride home with the windows down, freezing, just so we could breathe and prevent us all from vomiting.

The kids dumped their loot on the living room floor, proudly showing their sick as a dog father what they had collected. I looked on in disbelief at just how little candy they had in their bags. I was fearfully awaiting both of them to freak out at their small amount of loot. But much to my surprise and delight, they didn't! They were thrilled and content and even offered to trade candy with each other.

I breathed a sigh of relief and thought back on the entire night, the good, the bad, and the utterly foul. It definitely wasn't the best Halloween we've ever had. But, seeing my kids be there for one another and appreciate each other was a special and unexpected Halloween treat for me.

Should I change our family moniker from the Beeno family to the Asthmatic Family?

2011-10-28T11:06:00.000-04:00

Hi all!

Yes I'm still alive and well as is the rest of my family. I still haven't figured out how to upload pics from my camera to this new computer and taking pics with my cell phone just isn't cutting it. I like to be able to have pictures to go along with the majority of my posts and for some reason, without them I lose motivation. I promise to try and figure this out soon and be back to regular posting.

In other news we have had a lot go on this past month:

We got Boo'd by some great friends and then proceeded to carry on the tradition and had a fun time driving up to other friends' houses with the lights off and sneaking up to their front doors, knocking and running like hell back to the car. Me of course, I was was laughing so hard, I had to use every last ounce of muscle control NOT to pee my pants. Damn side effects from child birth!

What else, let's see now...

The little princess might be asthmatic after all these years of me thinking she had no breathing problems what so ever. After MANY bouts of pneumonia they think asthma may be the culprit. She is going to see my son's pediatric pulmonologist next week for an evaluation. Apparently my genes are just too damn strong and I may have passed this illness on to both of my children now, (insert sigh from mom guilt).

The coach too, thinks he may be developing a bit of asthma. He finds himself getting winded very easily and needing to use a rescue inhaler. He too has an appt. with my doctor to find out if he has adult onset asthma. (I can visualize my medical and prescription bills soaring through the roof as I type this!)

Speaking of asthma, after 30 or so years of living with asthma coupled with allergies, I have decided to try and do something about them. I started by having allergy testing to see where I'm at. I can report to you all that unfortunately I am no better off now than I was when I first got tested as a child. Still allergic to cats and dogs, (and yes I have 3 cats and know I would probably be a lot better off without them but after 4 years, they aren't going anywhere, so don't even bother telling me otherwise. I already know this.) Rant over.

I'm allergic to EVERY tree common to New England, especially the birch tree. (Can you say screwed?) I learned something pretty freaking cool from the nurse doing my testing. While she was documenting my allergic reactions she asked me if I had any trouble eating fruit. I quickly responded, "No". To which she asked more specifically, "Do you ever get a numbing or tingling sensation in your mouth when you eat apples?" That rung a bell. As a matter of fact, every damn time I eat an apple that happens to me. I actually try to avoid them because I don't like the way it makes my mouth feel. It turns out that in some people with a birch tree allergy they also have something called "Oral Allergy Syndrome". Basically your body mistakes a certain fruit that you consume for the pollen of the birch tree causing you to react. It can happen with different kinds of fruit, with me it's apples.
Cra-zazy, Right? !!!

As if I didn't have enough allergies to deal with, throw in a severe allergy to dust mites, ragweed, and mold and I think you get the diagnosis of pretty much doomed to suffer year round or so I thought. There are a couple different treatment options that my doctor is currently looking into for me. So until I here otherwise I'm assuming there is still hope for me and others like me. I might not have to just shut up and deal. There's a chance I might actually get some relief from the constant throat clearing and stuffy nose. Hallelujah!

And since I have spoken about the medical state of everyone else in the fam, I can't leave out the athlete. It is a pleasure to say that despite being asthmatic and an allergy sufferer, I can honestly report that if you never knew he's asthmatic, you would never know it! He is doing fabulous on his current regiment of meds. He runs three miles without batting an eyelash. He can play an ENTIRE soccer game without subbing out. If he gets a cold it doesn't slow him down like it used to. He responds to them like a typical non-asthmatic child. It is so nice to see him doing so well!

I hope that some time in the near future we will all be feeling as good as the athlete!

Fingers crossed until next time!

Hey All...

2011-10-10T09:06:00.000-04:00

Hi guys,

Just a quick update to let you know that we are all alive and well in the beeno
househould. Several weeks ago we bought a new laptop computer after dealing with a very old, very pain in the ass, PC.

I am in love!   We hmmed and hawed over making the decision to switch to a laptop but after several weeks of working on it from the comfort of my couch I give it two big thumbs up. Definitely the right choice for us.

I have a couple blog posts in drafts but haven't been able to figure out how to upload individual pictures from my camera to the new computer so they are stalled there until I have the time to figure this crap out. (Technology is NOT my strong suit folks).

In other news, the kids are still fighting like nobody's business, thus making the coach's and my life miserable.

I have a huge bin of winter clothes still sitting in the upstairs hallway that I was planning on putting away in everyone's drawers this weekend until I saw the weather report for the holiday weekend. It has been in the 80's since Saturday and the kids are back to wearing all summer clothes. I'm not complaining though, I'll enjoy it as long as it wants to stick around. I just hate seeing that ugly pea green bin staring at me every time I make my way up the stairs.

The athlete had a field trip to Mt. Watchusett on Thursday. The coach went along as a chaperone. They both loved it! They all made it to the summit and took some great pictures. They have since decided that we need to start hiking as a family. I am all for it! Anything to get us up and moving together is a great idea! I think we're shooting for Mt. Monadanock next.

The coach decided to seal the driveway this weekend since the weather was going to cooperate. After returning to the store 3 times for more materials, he said to me, "Wow, I guess I didn't realize just how big our driveway is!"   Yeah, turned into a much bigger, much more expensive project. I was so thrilled about that.

Since the driveway is newly sealed we have no place to park our cars. They currently reside in the grass on the front yard. We look like we live in the ghetto.   I am so done with this now.

Today is Columbus Day and the coach and I both have the day off. We are hoping to finally have the time to go apple and pumpkin picking. It completely depends on the behavior of our children. If I was the gambling type, which I'm totally not, my money would be on us NOT going. Leave a comment and place your bets!

That's all for now folks,

Happy Anniversary...

2011-09-30T08:17:00.000-04:00

Eleven years ago today, I married my best friend, the one man on the planet that was meant to be my soul mate and father to my children. God knew exactly what he was doing back in January of 1998 when he guided me to apply at a daycare center in the town where I was going to college. It was where I met the coach for the very first time.

He walked in leading a group of school age kids off the bus, he smiled at me and introduced himself. I had a crush on him from day one and couldn't wait to go to work so I could see him. A few weeks later I remember him reading a sports article on the Boston Bruins. Casually I asked him, "You like hockey?" He replied that he loved hockey and most sports. Without thinking things through I blurted out, "You wanna go to a Bruins game in a couple of weeks?" (People, I didn't even have Bruins tickets, but I knew my dad had recently bought a pair and I was hoping I could get them from him!)

Obviously he said yes and obviously Daddy's little girl was able to weasel the tickets out of her father.

We had one hell of a whirlwind romance. I finished college and instead of moving home we got our first apartment together, six months later we found out on Halloween night we were expecting the athlete. He was born in July of 2000 and three months later on a picture perfect day in September we were married surrounded by 170 family members and close friends. It was quite a party! I was 23 years old and the coach was 25. We were young and inexperienced but we had each other and we were a family.

It has been eleven years and boy what a journey we have been on. We have survived job changes, many relocations, the blessing of a second child, buying our first home. There have been struggles and challenges along the way, but each time we have come out of them stronger then ever. Side by side there is nothing we can't get through.

I have my best friend and the love of my life with me always. He loves me unconditionally, faults and all. He picks me up when my world is spinning out of control. He does whatever it takes to protect and provide for his family. He's the kind of father to our children who comes along once in a lifetime, and his relationship with his children never ceases to amaze me.

I am so blessed to be living this life with my true love and soul mate. Day by day, month by month, year by year. It just keeps on getting better.

I love you, forever and always. Happy Anniversary Baby!

T

All about me: Autobiography of the princess

2011-09-28T06:56:00.000-04:00

This was waiting for us on the princess's desk at school tonight when we arrived for open house:

In case you can't read it clearly, here it is typed out for your reading pleasure:

All About Me!

I am short and I have long blond hair and I have pretty dark blue eyes. I like to play vacation with the daycare kids and I like to write at school and play soccer because it's the only sport I like. I do not like to fight with my brother because it just leads to more trouble like punishes, like losing stuff. I am kind to others because I help hurt people and I play with people who have hurt feelings and I am a hard worker. I want to change my name because I do not like it. I want to change it to Chloe. I like that name. And that is All About Me!

And there you have it folks.

Fights...

2011-09-23T10:45:00.001-04:00

Any parent of multiple children is well aware that 90% of the time siblings don't get along. They spend more of their time looking for ways to intentionally piss each other off and a fraction of that acting civilly. It's just the way it goes.

I'm sure that family dynamics such as the number of children, their ages, and genders play a huge role in sibling relationships. As well as a parent's stance on what is acceptable behavior or not.

Having two children of the opposite sex and the athlete being three years older than his sister means that in this house we do not allow fights and arguments to become physical. I'll be honest here, just because we don't allow it doesn' t mean they don't happen. I also think the rule is a little lopsided and greatly benefits the princess. Nine times out of ten SHE is the one who becomes physical knowing full well that her brother is not allowed to put his hands on a girl. He ends up getting kicked, slapped, pinched or what have you and when he finally reaches his boiling point and lashes out he gets in trouble for defending himself.

Because of this, the coach and I will usually intervene before things get nasty but lately their bickering has been nonstop. I am so sick of refereeing fights!

Yesterday afternoon when the princess decided to stir things up a bit by pretending to throw a pear at her brother I decided right then and there I was gonna sit this one out and quietly observe from the couch.

Holy shit people I was impressed! The entire episode lasted over twenty minutes, with each taking turns locking the other in the livingroom closet. They also took it upstairs raiding each other's room and stealing their most prized possessions threatening to destroy them.

Two points were scores by the princess when she pretended to rip down the athlete's favorite poster of the Bruins winning the Stanley cup and making tearing sounds were her mouth, successfully flushing him out of her room.

Two points were awarded to the athlete for making the princess actually think she had won the fight when she got him out of her room. But oh silly princess, did you actually think he would leave without snatching some collateral to take with him? Taking her rock collection was a brilliant idea and definitely got the reaction he was looking for.

More racing around. More yelling and screaming. More verbal threats and things like "Oh yeah" and "How'd you like that?" More scuffling and shoving sounds.When they reached the stairs I had to finally step in for fear of one of them falling down them.

I calmly separated them both, told them it was over and to get in the car. The princess put on quite show trying to convince me how hurt she had gotten even going as far as telling me she was shaking with fear and couldn't calm down.Her reason and I quote: "I had no idea he had such a temper". Are you joking me? My one and only response to her? "Well, now you know so don't push his buttons like that again."

The athlete was only concerned with making sure I was well aware that it was "all her fault". My reply to him, " You are just as much to blame as your sister. Next time ignore the pretend pear flying through the air and walk away. Not only will you not be in trouble but you also won't be late for soccer practice. Now get in the car."

And that was the end of that. Thinking about still I'm not sure if it was the most appropriate thing to do. But , I do know it was a big eye opener for them and for me too. I didn't know they had that in them!

What are the family dynamics in your home? What are your rules for sibling fights?

Give and take...

2011-09-20T11:47:00.000-04:00

I have a son.

That son of mine is growing up.

He is not a baby anymore.

I. am. the. parent. of. a. tween.

I got through the newborn stage, the toddler/preschool stage. The school age stage. With each came new challenges, new obstacles to overcome, new parenting techniques and strategies. But also great joy and a sense of pride at seeing my child grow, learn, and succeed.

This new stage, the "tween years"? By far the most difficult yet. It's a confusing time. A time hard to define exactly because your child is not a baby anymore but not a full blooded teenager yet either.

You get glimpses into the future and you can see where they're headed and what it's sort of going to be like parenting a teenager, but there a times when it is quite clear that your child is still just a child who needs a parent's guidance and help to navigate through the challenges of adolescence.

Case in point: The athlete came home from school on Friday begging to go to the varsity football game later that night. He has never asked to go to a football game before, so me being the intuitive mother that I am knew there was more to it than a new found interest in high school football.

Upon further digging, I discovered that it was going all around the 6th grade that day that "Everyone", was going.

We decided to let him go. We even let him invite a friend. We did however tell him we would only be staying till half time. He was ok with that and just happy to be going. We got to the game and we gave him a couple of strict rules to follow.
1. Stay with your friend

2. Check in with us in one hour.

3. When it's time to go, it's time to go. We don't want any arguments.

He nodded in complete agreement. Or so we thought.

Strike one came after one hour past with no check in from the athlete. We went in search for him and sure enough we found him with his group of friends, running around and joking with them all. We had to call him over and give him a warning about not checking in. His reply, "Sorry, I forgot".

We let it slide and reminded him we were leaving at half time. We told him to meet us at the bleachers when it was time to leave.

Strike two: Half time arrived and after 10 minutes, no appearance from the athlete. Again we went in search for him. This time not so forgiving. The princess found him first and ran up to him telling him it was time to go. He was with a group of girls so he ignored her.

His friend? Not with him but with a group of their soccer friends several yards away.
Strike three. You're out.

The coach walked right into the middle of all those girls, told him to say goodbye NOW took him by the arm and away we went. Utter embarrassment for the athlete. He came to the car after retrieving his friend, and was all annoyed and red in the face. We dropped his friend off and once we were alone in the car we let into him.

No phone, no friends, no next home football game. We reviewed what the specific instructions for the night had been and how the athlete proceeded to NOT follow each and every one of them. Followed up by an explanation about how he constantly wants us to allow him more freedom but he makes it very hard for us and himself. When we give him a little leeway and he doesn't follow the rules it breaks our trust and shows us that he isn't ready yet.

We got no argument after that. That's one thing I will say about him. When he knows he's wrong, he shuts up and accepts whatever consequences we dish out.

What was suppose to be a fun night for all of us ended in disappointment for everyone, except the princess, she was happy as a clam! The athlete went to bed disappointed that he can't go to the next home game. We returned home slightly disappointed and upset that he wouldn't just follow a few simple rules. Now we have to wait some time before we can allow him to spread his wings, even just a little, and watch with pride as he succeeds at this in between stage they call the tween years.

Do you have a tween? How do you get through the day to day challenges?

I wanted roller blades, he wanted Heelys...

2011-09-13T16:23:00.000-04:00

When I was growing up the traditional roller skate was replaced by something more fresh and streamlined, the Rollerblade. Every kid wanted a pair. You would see kids rollerblading all over town, to school, to the park, at the track. It was great exercise and a lot of fun.

Today however, kids can't be bothered with lugging their roller blades around, or even taking the time to change out of street shoes and fasten a pair of roller blades to their feet. In this fast paced world their accustomed to growing up in, anything that takes longer than 3 minutes to get ready, isn't worth their time.

The athlete used to have a pair of roller blades but he stopped using them because he would get so frustrated trying to put them on securely. He would say to me, "Mom, if I had a pair of Heelys, you wouldn't have to help me and I could skate around whenever I wanted." If you've been living under a rock the past few years, Heelys are the original shoes with wheels in the heels allowing the user to "roll along" rather than walk simply by shifting their weight to the back of their heels and lifting their toes.

That's why when I was asked to review a pair of Heelys, through Business2Blogger, I jumped at the chance. The athlete picked out what he deemed, a "super cool" pair and within a week they were at my door.

The set up was so quick and easy he did it himself. (For those of you who don't know him IRL, he is incredibly book smart, but common sense wise? Severely lacking.)

Within 5 minutes he had them laced up and on his feet and was gingerly scooting across the kitchen floor.

15 minutes later he was zooming back and forth down the hallway.

Later that night he felt so confident in them, he wore them to the store and when he thought no one was looking he would take a few running steps and proceed to "Heely" his was down the aisle.

For those of you who aren't as athletically gifted as he is, have no fear. You can check out Heely's How To page. There they offer tips, tricks, and even instructional videos to help you learn.

The best part for me: Dual uses. He can Heely around outside of school and burn off some steam, and he can take the wheels out in a matter of seconds and wear them to school. If your a frugal mom it's easier to justify the expense because it's like buying a pair of sneakers for your child, but with an added benefit! To check out all Heelys has to offer including special promotions check them out on their Facebook page, Twitter, and UTube.

He got the approval from all his 6th grade friends who agreed that the black and neon green colors were "wicked cool". Bostonian stamp of approval right there, my friends!

Disclosure: I was given a pair of Heelys to review through Business2Blogger, but no other monetary compensation was received. All thoughts and opinions expressed here are solely my own.

It was time for a cellphone...

2011-09-02T14:38:00.000-04:00

A friend of mine IRL wrote a blog post a while back about getting her tween a cellphone. You can read her thoughts here: Why texting is not a bad thing for my tween

I could really relate to what she had written and it played a part in the reasons why we decided to get our tween son a cell phone for his 11th birthday this past summer.

Now for those of you who know me IRL, I have always been adamant that my children would never have a cell phone until they were much older, until it was a necessity. I am one of those moms that says to my children constantly, "just because someone else has it doesn't mean you will".

But somewhere down the road my attitude changed and I agreed to give it a try. Worst case scenario, we take it away and try again in a year or two.

It has been 3 months since we gave him his phone and to be honest, I love the fact that he has it. It allows him to have a little bit more freedom, but added security for mom and dad.

I love that I can let him go to a friend's house and know that I can text him or he can text me anytime either of us feels like it. I can check in on him and he doesn't have to be embarrassed that his mother is calling his friend's house to make sure he's doing ok.

Even more importantly, he knows that if he is ever somewhere and doesn't feel safe for any reason, he can call or text me privately and tell me to come get him. He never has to be in an awkward situation or feel uncomfortable or even afraid to call me immediately, if he needs outta there.

Some of you may say that you know your child, and you have brought them up in a way that assures you that in a given situation your child would call you right away if they were not comfortable or unsafe.

I was one of those moms.

Until the day my son came home from a friend's house and said he never wanted to go back. I was surprised because I had met the mom several times and was very confident that it would be a safe environment for my child.

What I didn't know was that the parents were both heavy smokers and smoked in their home. (They never actually lit up with him in the house), but they had ashtrays filled with crumpled butts in every room of their home and the smell was over powering.

The athlete came home reeking of cigarettes, had a headache and felt like he was going to throw up. I asked him why he didn't call me and ask to come home. Do you know what his reply was? "I didn't want to hurt their feelings, mom."

He was more afraid of upsetting them than he was of getting out of a house that was making him physically ill. It was right then and there I told him, "If for any reason you need to leave a home, whether it be unsafe, or something happens that scares you, or you just don't feel comfortable being there, than you tell the parents that you don't feel well and you need to call your mother to come get you and bring you home."

I felt so bad that he endured that for 4 hours!

Never again.

With his cell phone and through our talks, I am even more confident that he will reach out to me if he needs me any place or time. The pressure is off of him and the odds of him calling are more in my favor. That right there makes it all worth it.

Another plus, he knows it can be taken away at any time for any one of these reasons:

First, he doesn't answer or get back to us within minutes of us calling or texting him.

Second, he uses it inappropriately while texting. (We monitor his texts, and no I'm not stupid or naive. I know he can and will erase anything he says that qualifies and inappropriate. But he also knows that at anytime his father or I can pick up his phone whether it's in his hands or lying around somewhere and read through his messages.)

Third, it will, and has, been taken away as a consequence when he does something really wrong, or decides to get wise during an argument. On the flip side, it also has stopped or prevented many a melt down from him when you simply threaten to take his phone away. (That's just an added bonus in my book!)

Now this part is really important: I'm not saying that a cell phone can take the place of smart parenting, in some instances they may give parents a false sense of security. As with anything that pertains to your child and his or her safety be smart. Make wise choices based on your individual child. What might be right for one child may not be for another. But in our case, it does help us as parents to be able to let go "a little" and give our tween the opportunity for a bit more freedom and navigate his way through this scary world of growing up.

Parting is such sweet sorrow...

2011-08-30T16:26:00.000-04:00

Today was the first day of school for my kiddos. Usually I am excited for them to start school and ready for summer to high tail it outta here and bring on the cool, crisp days of fall.

This year, not so much. Beside the obvious fact that I will miss them terribly, (at least for the first week or so, while I adjust to them not being here all day!), I have really dreaded the end of summer this year. It means farewell to the carefree mom of summer and hello again to the hustle and bustle school year mom.

Farewell To Summer, Parting is Such sweet Sorrow...

Good bye to sleeping in 3 out of 5 weekday mornings. (I lose 3 day care children over the summer because their parents are teachers, so no more 7am arrivals all summer.)
- Hello again, 5:30am alarm clock buzzer, Monday through Friday.

Good bye to my relaxing summer mornings, sipping my Dunkin Donuts iced coffee, and watching the news and Friday morning Zip Trips on Fox 25.
- Hello again, repetitive wake up calls for a grouchy 11 year old boy to get his butt out of bed, who is NOT a morning person.
- Hello again endless morning arguments and screaming matches with children over what outfits to wear, hair styles to don, missing shoes, homework assignments, and backpacks.

Goodbye to never being on a schedule.
- Hello again to a life dictated by time or better yet, the lack there of.

Goodbye to doing laundry whenever I was the one who was running low on clothes.
- Hello again to Sunday afternoon and all freaking night laundry, that not only has to be washed, dried, and folded, BUT, also put away properly to avoid more problems with time management in the mornings.

Goodbye to playing outside and hanging out with friends until well past dark every night of the week.
- Hello again, set bedtimes, bedtime routines, and of course the lovely bedtime fights that accompany the switch over to the school year routine.

Goodbye to a sport's free summer. (Normally we don't allow either of our children to play competitive sports over the summer. Come June we need a break However with the athlete's baseball season ending on such a negative note, I allowed him to play summer baseball through mid-July. A choice by the way, I am so glad I did this year. He had a blast!)
- Hello again Soccer! And the 3-4 practices a week and games on Saturdays that come with it.
- Hello again to "Grab and Go" dinners and lots and lots of bottled water.
- Hello again to doing all the housework and errands on Sundays, while the coach watches football all afternoon, because it's the only day of the week I have to play catch up.

Goodbye to a time of fun filled activities, going to the beach, and cookouts.
- Hello again to nightly homework, and all the lovely arguments I have to deal with alone, before the coach gets home from work.
- Hello again to monitoring both children's academic progress with their teachers, parent/teacher conferences, and PTA meetings.
- Hello again to consequences for poor school work or rewards for a job well done.
- Hello again to keeping track of book reports and project assignments, stressing about the due dates, and nagging children to finish said projects.

Goodbye to a season that is generally free from sickness.
- Hello again to runny noses, coughs, and colds. Stomach bugs and strep throat.

Ah yes, summer, I will truly miss thee. I treasure the memories we've made and will look back on them often,

Till we meet again next year...