So here’s what I want for my birthday:

1. Hillsong United tickets for St. Louis on April 20th. This is one of my favorite groups and I have always wanted to see them live and never had the chance. I would be thrilled if everyone went together for this.
2. Money to buy a house. Just a modest house. I’m not looking for a mansion or anything. Now item #1 is not looking so bad, huh?
3. World Peace. Now #2 is not looking so bad, huh?
4. Everyone will accept Jesus. Now, #3 is not looking so bad, huh?

So that’s it. Now nobody say how difficult I am to buy for!

What’s on your wish list?

Everyday Absurdities Book Promo from Tyler Stanton on Vimeo.

Josh’s first game was an away game. We showed up a few minutes after tip-off since we didn’t expect to see Josh play. We had assumed that the 5th graders would sit the bench and the 6th grade “B-Team” would play the majority of the game. We were quite surprised to look out on the court and see our 10-almost-11-year-old dribbling the ball up the court calling out the plays. At first I was shocked…then proud…not because he started or because he was one of the guards but because my son was out there trying something he had never done before.

I think it was the third quarter of that game Josh went up for a shot and got fouled. He stepped up to the free-throw line. Amy and I both took a big, deep breath and held it (we had to been turning blue). I was thinking, no praying, that he would at least hit the rim and not miss by a mile tearing down his self-confidence.

The first free-throw went up…Swish…

The second free-throw went up…Swish…Pretty sure Amy and I blacked out there for a moment (probably from holding our breath for so long).

I was proud of how well Josh did this season. The 5th graders pretty much played the whole season. I think there were only a hand full of 6th graders that dressed for the game. They didn’t win a game and only came close once. They probably had four times as many turnovers as points. They have a lot to learn, but they gained a great deal of experience that will help them in future years.

Watching it at times was difficult for me. I vowed long ago that I would not sit in the stands and yell at my boys when they messed up and that I would try to give them as much encouragement as possible. I also promised myself that if they need corrected or I saw something that they could improve on I would talk to them privately instead of call them out in front of their teammates. I did ok with that.

To be honest, there were a few times that it took everything I had not do yell. There were also a couple times it took a great deal of restraint not to turn around and yell at other parents from the other team.

Overall, despite the winless season, I count this year as a success. I hope it helps teach Josh dedication, perseverance and team-work (oh, and I hope it gets him off the couch too). I hope it helps teach me patience, gentleness and self-control because…

Next up: track!

How about you? Do your kids play school sports? Has it been a positive or negative experience?

We went through Financial Peace University together several years with Ryan and Deanne along with three other couples. Amy and I are so proud of them and use them as inspiration on our journey to become debt free. They have also been working to adopt two girls from Ethiopia. They have faced many trials during this process and yet they have been an example how prayer and faithfulness truly do succeed. We look forward to that day when they can finally bring those two girls home…and hopefully soon!

Want to help?

Most of you are already aware, adoption is an very expensive endeavor. If you would like to help the Motts with their journey, click on the donate button located on the right-hand side of the page and put “The Mott Adoption” in the purpose field and I will pass that on to them.

Weight Loss Guideline #1: Stay Positive

Anyone else out there Johnny Cash fans?

I guess when it comes down to it I’m a romantic at heart. When a marriage is dissolving it breaks my heart. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a celebrity couple or close friends of family members. I want all marriages to succeed. I hope Tiger Woods’ marriage will succeed. I hope they will make it through this. I hope Tiger has learned something.

Here’s what I’ve learned from Tiger: Work on your marriage like you do your craft.

Think about it. Tiger has spent years fine-tuning his golf swing. He spends hours a day practicing. He visualizes success. He works through all possible outcomes of all possible situations on the golf course. He works hard to succeed at golf.

I do the same thing. I come to work for 8+ hours a day working on my craft. Sure, millions of dollars aren’t on the line for my work, but I still want to succeed. I want to be the best web programmer I can. I practice. I research. I visualize success. I prepare for failures. I work hard to succeed at my work.

The question I’m asking myself is: am I working on my marriage as hard as I do on my profession? It pains me to honestly answer this question. The answer is often no. Not always, but often. I would have to say that I do not spend a lot of time practicing or researching. I do not visualize success. I do not prepare for failures. More often than not I react to my marriage. When something comes up I take a reactive approach rather than a proactive one. That’s not good enough!

I not only should be working as hard on my marriage as I do my work but harder. I have committed myself to my wife for life. I am only committed to my job until I retire.

But how can we do this? That’s a great question!

What do you think? How can we work on our marriage?

For further reading

Amy and I went to school with a couple that went through a point in their marriage when it was disintegrating. The realized it was worth fighting for and they decided to work on their marriage. They have created an organization that aims to help couples learn from their mistakes. Please take the time to read their story:

• 8 Things That Destroyed Our Marriage
• 8 Things That Restored Our Marriage

1. I want to be popular. I was never popular in high school. Heck, I really wasn’t that popular in junior high or grade school either, which is pretty sad considering there were only three students in my 8th grade class, and we were all cousins. Anyway, I hope that by blogging I can finally be one of the cool kids.
2. I want to stay busy. I’m bored. As a husband, father,  full-time web applications developer, church-goer and fitness aficionado, I have a lot of down time. I figure blogging would be better than catching up on missed episodes of Survivor or Lost.
3. I want to be rich. I have this idea in my head that by blogging and adhering to all recommendations on ProBlogger I will be make lots of money.
4. I want to share my brilliance with the world. Really. I’m a genius. On a daily basis I only speak to a handful of people and email with a few more. With a blog, however, limitless people (ok, well people with electricity and a computer and internet access) will be able to partake in my intellectuality any time they want! See, I can even make up words that sound smart.
5. I want to be like Carlos Whittaker. Let’s face it. He’s the man. Honorable mention goes out to Anne Jackson over at FlowerDust.net and Jon Acuff at Stuff Christians Like. Technically, since she’s a woman, Anne wouldn’t be considered the “man”, but she’s still a superstar! Isn’t it sad that I mention their names and link to them on the near impossible thought that they would actually read my single-post blog. I’m sure my link will push their Google ranking off the charts.
6. I want some free stuff. Along with the money I’m sure I will make on this blog, I’m sure Steve Jobs will personally be sending me new Apple stuff before it’s released hoping I will give it stellar reviews.
7. I want to be edgy. Bloggers seem to be right in the middle of controversy all the time. Whether it’s politics, religion, sports or what Britney Spears is wearing (or not wearing) you always here about bloggers and the blogsphere. Seems like bloggers are the new hippies. Speaking of being edgy, Amy (my wife) the other day said “suck” a few times which is quite unusual for her and I said something to the effect of saying “suck” won’t make her any edgier. This leads me to reason number 8.
8. I want to get in trouble with my family. I don’t really want to get in trouble with my wife, but the previous 7 reasons all had “I want” as the start so I figured I better stick with that format so as to not break any blogging faux pas in my first post. I am sure at some point I will write something I probably should not have and it will get me in the dog house. Then I’ll blog about being in the dog house for sharing something I shouldn’t have and then I’ll be in trouble for that. Maybe I should re-think this blog thing!

Now that we got the silliness out of the way. Here are the real reasons:

1. I am a husband. Amy and I have been married for almost 15 years. Marriage is a very fragile establishment in our society, with over 50% of them ending in divorce. I have made many mistakes in our marriage, Amy would probably say the same. But despite our mistakes and shortcomings, we are committed to each other. In this blog I want to share some of the things we have learned in hopes that other couples will learn from both our successes and failures.
2. I am a father. We have three awesome boys: Joshua (10), Nathaniel (9) and Andrew (7). Just like our marriage, we have had some struggles and triumphs in parenting. And again, I hope that by sharing some of these we can help other parents that may be going through the same things. Also, I am sure I will use this blog as a refrigerator of sorts for the world to see, because we have some great boys!
3. I am a Christ Follower. This takes precedence over all other areas of my life. I have grown up in the church. I went to a Christian school. I used to think that was enough. It’s not. It’s about Jesus. Finally, after all these years I’ve begun to realize this. I’d like to share that with you.
4. I am a Web Applications Developer. What’s that you ask? I have a really hard time explaining it myself. It has something to do with the Internet I think. I’ve been doing it for over 10 years though, so I guess I do it fairly well. I will be sharing some tips and tricks I have learned over the years working with the web, both as a web designer and web programmer.
5. I am a fitness fanatic. In 2002 I weighed 285lbs and had a size 42″ waist and I had finally had enough. At that time I committed myself to changing my lifestyle. I ate better and became more active. Nine months later I was down to 175lbs and a 32″ waist. I have been in a 32 ever since (and no, not like Seinfeld did when he cut the label off his 31’s and stuck them over his 32’s). I made it a lifelong goal to study health and fitness. I really want to share my experience and knowledge with those of you that want to take the steps toward a better life.
6. I am learning how to live a debt-free life. I’ll be honest. This one seems like it is taking forever! Losing weight was much easier! Several years ago Amy and I set out to take control of our finances. With the help of Dave Ramsey and a close friend from church who has served as our personal mentor we have made great strides with our finances. We pay cash for everything. We have not used a credit card for several years. We have a few more years to go until Sallie Mae is kicked to the curb, but we have learned a lot about money managements. We also have much to learn. I hope to share our journey with you through this blog.
7. I am kind of a nerd. “Well, duh!” you say. I am sure I will feel compelled to write about new software and gadgets and that sort of thing. Maybe that will get me my free stuff!
8. I am a sports enthusiast. At times you will no doubt find me writing about the Stl. Cardinals, Notre Dame Fighting Irish (football), Indianapolis Colts, Purdue Boilermakers (basketball) and LA Lakers, depending on what time of year it is. I’m not really much into hockey, car racing or soccer all that much. Just so you know.

Thanks for hanging in there with me!