A BPYT'S BLOG

THIS NEEDS TO BE THE YEAR OF COMPLETE HONESTY

noreply@blogger.com (THE 78' MS. J) — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 02:53:00 +0000

Happy new year and all that jazz unless you have been in a coma (in which case welcome back) or you partied your face off and you are just now realizing that you did indeed make it into the new year we need to have an agreement. We the people all the people need to make 2012 the year of the TRUTH and nothing but the truth. In other words all that lying, alibiing, slip sliding, and bullshit you were doing years before it should now come to an end. Why would you still need to lie with the internet at your fingers, background checks, camera phones, video phones, etc. If you gonna do some shit then you need to own up to that shit, keep your intentions and motives either pure or just be 100% about the kind of janky ass person you are. Because in reality everyone has already seen how you act and basically we peeped your character from the door and we really just play along with you because you are a nonmothafucking factor and you don't effect us in any, way, shape, or form but I am going to need people to keep it real with themselves and others this year and all years after. You have to understand that the truth will always come to light no matter how long it takes the truth will be found out eventually. I'm just saying cut out all the time wasting and just go ahead and be upfront with your character stop play acting this is not Broadway and you won't be getting a Tony for your stellar lies, what you will get is a strong side eye and plenty of shade and snicker behind your back plus some eye rolling and you most likely will not be invited to any going on's in other words you will be excluded on purpose.

So fellas you know what that means if you just about getting pussy and being a all around whore and you really don't have the settle down and be faithful gene then go ahead and let all the women you dealing with know that you are just a walking penis and you are going to be sticking it in any wet hole from here on out. That will alleviate all the stress of women keeping tabs on you, that will alleviate all the stress of women expecting anything from you and it will alleviate all the stress of some woman thinking she is the only one also it should keep the rates of STI's and disease and "accidental" pregnancy down and you should invest your money in a condom company. Take this moment to free yourself and stop lying about your intentions keep it all the way funky and real.

Ladies this year get your house in order stop telling yourselves the same old lies you can love him enough to change him, if you play the down ass chick and put in the years, the blood, sweat and tears he will get right and marry you, that doesn't always happen and if he does decide to marry you its because he got tired of your mouth and to shut you up he gave you his last name but you still will most likely end up in divorce court because deep down he liked the status quo the playing house with no real commitment and having that ceremony has now pissed him off and made him resent you. Know your self worth know what you are getting into go into a situation with your eyes open. YOU CAN NOT CHANGE A MAN or love him enough to change him biggest lie you could ever tell yourself. People don't change unless they want to. A man nor woman won't change no matter how hard you love them UNLESS they change themselves and most mofos are too selfish to change because we are all creatures of habit. Stop getting stuck in the same trick bag over and over again. This is not reality tv they will not write you a check for your drama and frankly no one wants to hear about you and slew foot this year and how he still not right get a gripe or forever hold your peace.

Last but not least teach your children honesty if they see you lying all the time they will naturally pick that same habit up and then you will wonder why little Susan is now lying about who ate the cookies. Kids learn by watching their parents you mold your child not by words but by your actions keep that in mind the next time you tell your child a little white lie of convenience.

Last but not least stop taking your life cues from dumb ass celeb-whore-t's they do what they do strictly for entertainment value they aren't real people their whole movement is fake. These shouldn't be your role models people read more books this year.

IF YOU CARE TO READ; AN EMAIL TO SOME CHOICE SHOE MAKERS

noreply@blogger.com (THE 78' MS. J) — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 01:48:00 +0000

cartoon courtesy of Sean T W Cartoon

Let me preface this post by saying I know that there is a lot going on in the world right now and shoes is the least of every ones concerns but I have been wanting to send a email to these particular shoe companies for a minute and while I was thinking about it I did. So don't go thinking that I'm just all about fashion in these troubled times I'm multifaceted just like every other unique person on the planet so don't pigeon hole me. With that being said here's the email I just sent to Christian Louboutin, Jeffrey Campbell, Steve Madden, and Pleaser some shoe makers that I really admire. We shall see their responses and I will most likely post them here good, bad or indifferent.

http://www.pleaserusa.com/

http://www.jeffreycampbellshoes.com/

http://us.christianlouboutin.com/

http://www.stevemadden.com/Default.aspx

Addressed To The CEO,Vice President, Head of Marketing, and other department heads;

Allow me to start off by saying that I have admired your shoe's for years now. I love the fresh, funky, and trendsetting designs and concepts. I love that your shoes are not just accessories but conversation pieces, even dare I say it, foot art. However I feel ignored by your company and it literally vexes me to no end to know that in the world of shoes I am a non factor which prompted me to take the time out to write this important impromptu email. The average savvy consumer wants to feel as if they have a voice, and a choice in their fashion they want to feel as if the shoe designers they covet and love, not only value them as a customer and see them more then as just a source of monetary gain but see them as a part of a family per say. A woman who spends her hard earned dollars on a shoe is investing in herself and her style. She is not only wearing a shoe but expressing herself with the shoe choices she makes its not just a heel or a flat she is wearing but her shoe choice is indicative of her very mood and how she feels about herself a shoe is not just a shoe but a flag that waves when one walks. A shoe can scream volumes about the woman that has it on, said shoe can express a whimper or it could express a mighty roar depending on the fierceness of the shoe and the shoes owner. Shoes are more than what covers our feet but the very sole of an outfit (pun intended).

I have a true wide width foot a standard that many don't want to make shoes to fit. Now I realize that possibly you only want to cater to a certain demographic but how limited and narrow minded is that. As a shoe designer who thinks outside of the box why can't you make some of your shoes or a line of shoes for true wide width fashionable customers such as myself? Why is that such a hard concept to enact? I am so sure I am not the only woman in the world with a wide width foot who has scoured malls, boutiques, shoe stores and even online stores for a great shoe that fits my foot and my sense of style. Why do I have to sacrifice my sense of style because I don't fit in with the average “normal” range of foot widths? I think it is asinine and egregious to discount a whole demographic of women or even men who want shoes that are sassy, funky, fun and sexy. I feel cheated when I see your shoes come out and I love the designs but can't purchase them.

I know that I am one person I know that I am but one voice and this is most likely in vain because I'm sure I am but a ripple on the wave of your continued success as a shoe maker, but hopefully someone will recognize my voice and the potential unique opportunity you have as shoe makers who could be on the leading front edge of making shoes that a wide width consumer would die for. I am especially saddened as another holiday season comes to pass and instead of putting on my shoe art I have to settle for something less than dazzling and less spectacular then what I would initially purchase if it was from one of your shoe lines. I have lamented the lack of shoe choices for years and have even brought the fact up occasionally on my blog. Some day I hope that someone will have the forethought to fill in the void that is felt acutely in the wide width shoe community and capitalize on a group that has been ignored and marginalized for far too long. Just with clothing options there should be various options for shoes as well. This is not a one size fits all world and women who can afford it and desire it should have beautiful, sexy, sassy, funky, dazzling shoes in their sizes and widths readily available for them to purchase but I know that this email is really in vain and this request will fall on deaf ears and closed minds because realistically if you cared as a shoe maker you would have already made provisions for a wide width line and I wouldn't have to be writing this email as it stands but in Closing thank you in advance for your time and the opportunity to express my opinion.

Sincerely a sad shoe maven,

Always Audrey Hepburn

noreply@blogger.com (THE 78' MS. J) — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 03:35:00 +0000

Always Audrey Hepburn by the78msj featuring v neck t shirts

Boyfriend cardigan
$49 - torrid.com

V neck t shirt
$20 - torrid.com

High rise skinny jeans
$59 - torrid.com

Low rise jeans
$55 - torrid.com

Toya Black Lace-Up Combat Boot (Wide Width) | Boots
$69 - torrid.com

Quick note ladies if you are looking for some jeans that will give you life, strength, and body then its an absolute must to get yourself a pair of virtual stretch zipped jeans. These jeans are my new favorite thing they are so soft and they hug your body but they are made of thicker material then jeggings so its a win win in my book. This is the first time I have absolutely loved my jeans enough to want to sleep in them now that's some comfortable jeans straight up! So do yourself a favor this holiday season and while torrid is running all these sales for the holiday's stock up on all the virtual stretch jeans you can get your hands on you won't be sorry trust me! Here's to a happy and fashionable holiday season, stay blessed.

DUMB THINGS PEOPLE DO IN HORROR MOVIES

noreply@blogger.com (THE 78' MS. J) — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 08:55:00 +0000

In honor of Halloween I thought I would do a post on some of the dumbest things the people in horror movies do.

1. In a zombie movie instead of you trying to see why your loved one or the people you're around who just all of a sudden stopped moving or they just got real still and you can see all the carnage on their person but you still want to see if they are okay this is why you get bit. I don't know about anyone else but if someone is all bloody and pieces of flesh are hanging off of them or they have missing parts altogether but they are still walking and can't make coherent sentences they're not to be trifled with and if you do so then I'm leaving you behind end of story you go play with the zombies while I get to safety and I would like to say ahead of time thanks for your sacrifice because you just became a piece of human beef jerky.

2. When you live in a haunted house and the first night you started hearing noises, door slams, you got tossed to the ground, drug out a room, sleep walk outside, the inside of your house and all your belongings in said house are all over the place tossed around and your places looks ran through but you weren't robbed and YOU still stay in that house you deserve to be harassed by whatever is in that house and you most likely won't make it out alive or if you do your mental health bill is going to be outrageous and farewell to sleeping normal.

3. Possessions listen when you see your loved ones, friends, kids, pets, etc doing demonic things, spitting up green shit, stabbing themselves with a cross, picking you up like you a piece of tissue and throwing your around like a rag doll, run like hell call the police and the church and go take a vacation. Sometimes its best to just cut your losses when a demon has possessed the body of a loved one. That's what I would do....

4. When you dealing with a demon or suspect you are dealing with a malevolent demon why the fuck would you break out that hateful ass spirit board? You know what I'm talking about that Ouija board why do y'all play with that shit? Why not just go all the way and do some blood sacrifices and rituals stop inviting theses damn spirits into your lives and opening doorways for them to just come through like you got a spiritual holiday inn.

5. Your family has a history of spirits following them ever since you were a child and you never went to church, never went to a spiritual adviser not a tarot card reader nor a psychic but a member of the clergy then you must like being a punching bag for malevolent spirits.

6. Waiting until its almost too late, everyone is dead, or abducted and now you want to fight and fix the problem let me tell you something if you had nipped all that shit in the beginning it wouldn't have escalated and now you trying to fix the issue when its 10 times worst then when it first began. Pretending the problem is not there won't make it go away it usually makes it worst.

7. When you are being chased by a psychopaths, killers, cannibals, drug addicted devil worshipers, evil people who hurt people for fun, don't fall, stop all that screaming, make as little noise as possible, pay attention to your surroundings, keep your head on pivotal not in just one direction, stop trying to bargain with psycho's they are going to most likely kill you anyway so save that energy, almost everything can be used as a weapon, jam your thumbs into their eye sockets, bite off hunks of flesh, stop on their foot, kick them in the balls, use your head and slam it into their nose, take your palm and do your best to push their nose bone into their skull. If you're a woman why don't you at least keep a box cutter or a razor on yourself and you knew you were going to drive long distance come on now and you don't even have a .22? Girl stop.

8. Stop going into abandoned buildings, stop picking up hitchhikers, stop being so curious, stop opening up ancient books, stop opening up sealed boxes, stop knocking over toxic waste, stop experimenting with deadly viruses, stop having sex and kissing when you should be focused on staying alive, stop playing with puzzle boxes, stop invoking spirits, stop doing sacrifices, stop leaving the doors and windows unlocked, stop walking in the forest alone, stop getting out the car to investigate, stop screaming in terror instead of acting in action, if it looks to easy or too good to be true then it is. Stop splitting up if someone goes missing from your party all of y'all should either stay in one spot or all go look for the missing party.

9. Word of caution for the hardheaded black people that only hang with all white people all the time and have no other black friends, you always get killed first so think about that when your friends invite you out to go camping, to a rave in an abandoned building, into a creepy big ass house, or you're driving cross country with them and they run out of gas or the tire blows out guess who getting picked off first.

10. Last but not least guys I know you always just think with your dicks but if the chick is too good to be true and she just appears in front of you and she trying to sex you right from jump, she is going to either rip your heart out your chest and then bathe in your blood, she is going to drain you of all your manly fluids then eat you, she is going to suck your soul out through your mouth, either way stop letting the she demon's kill you because your dick is hard and you can't think straight.

THE SITE JUST FABULOUS IS JUST HORRIBLE

noreply@blogger.com (THE 78' MS. J) — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 21:49:00 +0000

Hey fashionista's I am going to give a quick review of a site I joined that didn't work out for me not at all. So let's get right into it I'm going to call this site a fashion trap right off the bat first and foremost everyone wants convenience but when something seems to be good to be true then it is and I can't stress to anyone enough to read the fine print whenever you join a site so my misfortune is your Godsend. The site Just Fabulous works much like the site that K. Whoredashian has where you can sign up and become a member and for 40.00 dollars a month they will send you an email with some shoes or handbags choices that you pick out of a line up that is chosen for you each month you can either choose out of the selections they send you or choose to see some more options or not buy anything altogether that month but if you don't pick out shoes that month you have to physically hit the don't send me shoes this month button on the site or they will charge your credit card that is on file with them, and each month you forget up to five times they will charge your card 40.00 and then you will just have a credit on file with Just Fabulous. Now if you purchase some shoes that look great on the site and you get them delivered and you try and stick your foot in them and they just don't work out guess what you are charged a $5.95 re-stock fee per item you return so if you buy two pairs of shoes then that's about 11.00 dollars you're not getting back.

Now when you read the return policy here's what it says: * We are required to charge a $5.95 restocking fee for all items returned for a refund. Items exchanged for another or returned for a JustFab credit are not charged a restocking fee.

To me it looks as if its just a one time charge of 5.95 but no its for every item you return two pairs of shoes two re-stocking fees, two shoes and a purse re-stock, re-stock, re-stock I can't argue with a one time re-stock fee for the whole return but per item is ridiculous. Especially since you are going out on a limb with shoes that you can't try on in a store setting since this isn't a bricks and mortar type company. I don't think its fair to charge a customer like this and the representative I talked to to get the return label was like that's why its better to just get a credit or an exchange so those are my only options if I want all of my money put to use then I would have to opt for a credit or exchange. In other words I lose all the way around because the shoes on this site are your standard medium width there is no deviation and no plan as far as I can tell to deviate from that standard. If you have a foot that never meet a shoe it couldn't fit then by all means join this site its supposed to be Kimora Simmons site so you know how that goes I really wanted to like this site but with this return policy bs and the unsatisfactory shoes this site has left a bad taste in my mouth altogether and this is truly a lesson learned where it hurts the most in my pocket. Red the fine print and try and get a good understanding before you invest in a site that sounds too good to be true but then again like I said if you can fit any and every shoe you slide your foot into then this site my just be what you are looking for if not then I would advise you to not even chance it. Save your money and shop where you can try the shoes on so you know without a shadow of a doubt they will work for you. Also quick note if they don't send your return label within five minutes call back these people will play with your life and your money horrible company I do not recommend.

GIVEAWAYS, PRIZES, OH ME OH MY ISN'T THAT BPYT FLY

noreply@blogger.com (THE 78' MS. J) — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 15:30:00 +0000

There are some exciting things in the works for this blog. I affectionately call my blog the little blog that could so I'm trying to get my readership up and in doing so I have linked up with a company called PunchTab that will allow me to start doing giveaways to all the lovelies that join the reward program that is specifically for this blog and you can start by clicking the become a member button in the first box that is directly in the left hand corner, comment, become a fan of facebook page, tweet about post, refer others to my blog, and invite others to read my blog. All of those things will earn you points and once the follower who has been the most active has earned enough points their name is chosen at random and they win the prize now the first giveaway I am doing is going to be a $40.00 dollar gift card to none other than Sephora so ladies and gents you have plenty of time to rack up the points since the contest is ending on September 10th.

PunchTab has given me a way to give back to my readers and to gain some new ones in the process God willing and its exciting to reach out to readers and hopefully get some responses so if you've been with me this far and you're still here thank you. Feel free to give me input on some of the content you would like to see more of on this blog, give me topics you would like to see addressed or maybe even some advice you would like answered now is the time to interact and tell me what you would like to see more of I always appreciate the feedback. What are some area's I should address dear readers? What are somethings I should touch on? Leave me Questions, comments, leave me a message here, hit me on facebook, or you can hit me up via twitter either way I'm accessible and will answer all questions, and comments. Good luck to you all and may the most loyal reader win.

Just to be clear this is how the earning of points breaks down:

Your users can earn points on your site in the following ways; a small red ribbon will appear next to supported social sharing buttons and comment boxes automatically.

Visiting your site every day – for their first visit to your site every day your users will earn 100 points
Liking your content on Facebook – for their first Like on your site every day your users will earn 100 points
Tweeting your content – for their first Tweet on your site every day your users will earn 100 points
Google +1 your content – for their first Google +1 on your site every day your users will earn 100 points
Commenting – for their first comment of the day your users will earn 100 points

the maximum number of loyalty points that a user can earn in one day is 500.

PARDON ME SIR BUT YOUR THINKING IS FLAWED

noreply@blogger.com (THE 78' MS. J) — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 15:00:00 +0000

Picture from cultivating the beauty

Recently a person sent me a note anonymously of course and the note went like this:

"I hate when a fat bitch got more standards then a bad bitch"

Now that made me chuckle some stranger who came across my profile on a android social app site was so deep off in his feelings about what my profile said that he had to take the time to dash me off a quick note. I kind of feel real proud about that. The fact that even though this person was ignorant as hell he recognized that I do indeed have standards and from the sound of it he was outside of those very standards now he's all mad. I kind of feel like I won a prize fight if that is not a good result then I don't know what is. I don't care that he called me fat and I'm not even upset by the bitch but the simple fact that he saw that he wasn't even going to cut it made him so mad that he had to lash out now if we could get other nonmothafucking factors to get the same point and realize that they not inline with my standards then half the battle would be won. That's what I call real progress I appreciate the fact when someone knows that they're just not going to cut it and they don't even attempt. I appreciate the fact that you knew not to waste my time and his, and I appreciate the fact that I didn't have to go through that small talk phase to figure out what your deal breaker was going to be with me. Even though this man was all caught up in his feelings he still spared me from wasting time and I want to thank him for that.

Now when he said his little blurb about bad bitches I had to go look the definition of a bad bitch up. Of course the only place something so ignorant as the term bad bitch would be defined is of course in the urban dictionary where all ratchet and ignorant things are defined and what I found was 11 definitions for what a bad bitch is of those 11 definitions 4 were put there by females. Labels and names are what people use to define themselves and its how others compartmentalize us if you want to wear a label then so be it but bad bitch is a label I wouldn't slap on myself even if I wanted to trivialize and belittle my existence with labeling myself. Besides I think others put quite enough labels on me without me adding to the list as is. The label is shallow first and foremost and its another way of giving the title to a female who is doing what she is supposed too in all areas and even taking care of a man that most likely isn't taking care of her. Bad bitch might as well be synonymous with super woman, as a bad bitch you got to look fly, have good credit, have your money right, she might smoke weed and drink, she got a job and a side hustle, she has traveled and has a degree, have a good job, have street smarts, book smarts, she cooks, she cleans, her shoe game is tight, she got the fly ride, the fly crib, nails did, feet did, hair did, always got at least three designers on, she buy her perfume by the ounce, she can speak a couple of languages, and of course she is a lady in the streets but she puts it down in the bedroom like a porn star and lets not forget she caters to her man like he is a king even if his raggedy ass is a peasant and treats her like a bottom basement whore but since she is a bad bitch she is still going to hold him down because that's her role. Basically she a model type chick that always look like she drove off a video shoot and her life is a never ending blockbuster movie.

Now I want to point out some things that I see is quite flawed thinking with this whole bad bitch theory first Oprah has all of the aforementioned things, and so does Michelle Obama and I guarantee you neither one of these ladies call themselves bad bitches and they know their worth so they have standards and I am so sure they don't entertain clowns, men, nor other women who aren't on their levels. They carry themselves with poise, grace and dignity and again these women are well read, well educated, multifaceted brilliant women and they couldn't have gotten to where they are calling themselves bad bitches. They don't entertain superfluous trivial matters they focus on the bigger picture and they get the job done. No they don't look like video chicks, no they not in the hottest night spots night after night, no they not out popping bottles and popping their behinds. They are doing something bigger and better they are both impacting lives and forging changes and they are the backbone to many people. Michelle Obama more so because she is the wife of the POTUS and she is raising two well rounded young women who will go on to do incredible things as well. 2nd point I want to make even if a female has weight on her she can still be all the aforementioned things I said about bad bitches weight is not a factor in being a bad bitch. You can be all types of fly no matter your dress size some bigger women make men stop in their tracks and drool if you got it you just got it going on everyone has a preference and what one label's sexy another might label as non-sexy its all about a person's perception.

Bottom line though at the end of the day I don't want to be a bad bitch yeah if you're young it might sound fly, it might even be fun but a bad bitch's time is limited. The way I see it you can only keep that lifestyle up for so long one false move and you could lose everything or most of what you have and then what? If your persona gets blown and all of your trappings get taken away then what is a bad bitch left with? Now she gotta go out and hustle or sell ass or try and be with a dude that can give her a lifestyle its way to much riding on the back of a bad bitch. I would rather think long term and mold myself after Michelle Obama or even Oprah real women who don't have to posture and label themselves as something so superfluous as a bad bitch. Keep your video vixen ambitions give me grace, poise, beauty, intelligence, and uncompromising standards on how I'm going to live my life and make the climb to greater things and its perfectly fine if a guy wants to pass me over for those so called bad bitches because obviously he is thinking short term and I don't need mental midgets on my team who waste my time if you not thinking right you will get left its as simple as that.

SHOE REVIEW, T.U.K. PIN UP MARY JANE PLATFORMS

noreply@blogger.com (THE 78' MS. J) — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 22:48:00 +0000

Let me preface this post by saying that I had written a letter to T.U.K asking them if they were ever going to get wide width shoes, because I loved their original Mary Jane Pin-up Platforms well I got a very disappointing letter back from one of their customer service agents stating that T.U.K had no intentions of offering wide width options for their shoes now nor anytime in the future needless to say I was super disappointed. That was last year some time, well I always window shop on Torrid because I buy basically all of my clothes from them and have ever since I discovered the Torrid Launch store in Brea. They fell right in line with my fashion sense and their clothing has a youthful edge that other plus sized clothing shops don't. Well recently torrid had started carrying some of the T.U.K. shoes on their website well all had been in regular width thus far and then one mystical predawn hour I believe it was early Tuesday I discovered these:

on torrid's website under the new section that's right none other then Pin up Mary Jane Platform's from T.U.K. well right then and there I fell madly in love and had to have these shoes. I attempted to order them in that early morning but I was thwarted by the website malfunctioning and like a women that has been betrayed by her lover I went to sleep full of anxiety and anticipation and disappointment I had to have these shoes and they couldn't get here fast enough. Needless to say the next morning as quick as I could I ordered these shoes and waited with baited breath to see if these shoes would hurt me to my soul or slide on my feet and give me everlasting joy and fab style.

So the doorbell rung today and the package was brought in gingerly and delicately sat down and opened with anticipation and trepidation at the same time because sometimes the shoes might say wide width but they don't fit, or they fit but painfully so. Well I slide into these wonderful Mary Jane's and my feet sprouted wings and I heard the shoe angels singing praises of adulation. The shoes fit and were comfortable and even though they are a 4 inch heel with the 1 inch platform in the front they feel like a 3 inch heel. So if you want some kick ass Mary jane's that are a step away from the boring plain Mary jane's and you love rock-a-betty style, retro, or just love Mary Jane's like I do these shoes will do you right and they won't hurt your feet and if you like I have a true wide width foot these have no fear add these to your shoe collection without hesitation because they are most definitely BPYT approved! Cheers to Torrid and T.U.K. for finally getting it right this time and I hope there will be more shoes like these Mary Jane's from the two companies working together in the future. This time Torrid got it right and just in time for my birthday such awesomeness!

T.U.K MARY JANE PIN UP PLATFORMS
TORRID.COM
$59.99

WHY I LOVE THE WRITTEN WORD

noreply@blogger.com (THE 78' MS. J) — Mon, 04 Jul 2011 04:24:00 +0000

Lady in Orange

ever since I realized there waz someone callt a colored girl an evil woman a bitch or a nag i been tryin not to be that & leave bitterness in somebody else's cup/ come to somebody to love me without deep & nasty smellin scald from lye or bein left screaming in a street fulla lunatics/ whisperin slut bitch bitch niggas/ get outta here wit alla that/ i didnt have any of that for you/ i brought you what joy i found & i found joy/ honest fingers round my face/ with dead musicians on 78's from cuba/ or live musicians on five dollar lp's from chicago/ where i have never been/ & i love williw colon & arsenio rodriquez / especially cuz i can make the music loud enuf/ so there is no me but dance/ & when I can dance like that/ there's nothing cd hurt me/ but i get tired & i haveta come offa the floor & then there's that women who hurt you/ who you left/ three or four times/ & just went back/ after you put my heart in the bottom of yr shoe/ you just walked back to where you hurt/ & i didnt have nothing/ so i went to where somebody had somethin for me/ but he waznt you/ & i was on the way back from her house in the bottom of yr shoe/ so this is not a love poem/ cuz there are only memorial albums available/ & even charlie mingus wanted desperately to be a pimp/ & i wont be able to see eddie palmieri for months/ so this is a requium for myself/ cuz i have died in a real way/ not wid aqua coffins & du-wop cadillacs/ i used to joke abt when i waz messin round/ but a real dead lovin is here for you now/ cuz i had convinced myself colored girls had no right to sorrow/ & i lived & loved that way & kept sorrow on the curb/ allegedly for you/ but i know i did it for myself/ i cdnt stand it
i cdnt stand being sorry & colored at the same time
it's so redundant in the modern world

This passage is from the choreopoem by Ntozake Shange
For Colored Girls who have considered suicide when the rainbow is enuf

This poem has been performed numerous times on various stages and I didn't change a word of it if you have read the poem then you know that's exactly how it goes the poem is written in dialect, it has been adapted into a movie by Tyler Perry it is one of those books that you read and reread over and over again because there is understanding in between the words, and life in the powerful imagery and it is another voice giving voice to women over and over again. It's book like this that make me want to read more and more and read any and everything I can get my hands on and reaffirms my love of the written word time and time again. I personally have always wanted to hold discussions about books over coffee and with people who have read the same book and have a love of the written word like me so I have decided to start a digital book club on tumblr.com if you are interested in joining please hit me up either in the notes or by sending me an email to my gmail account.

THE SMELL OF DESPERATION IN THE AIR

noreply@blogger.com (THE 78' MS. J) — Sun, 26 Jun 2011 23:14:00 +0000

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Sunday, hope you hit the church house or you're sharing your Sunday with your loved ones or you are enjoying a restful day whichever however if you're taking the time to read this I appreciate it so let's get into it.

A few weeks ago I met this guy let's call him Willie (no disrespect to the Willies of the world I just happen to be partial to the name Willie) and he was talking all the things I wanted to hear and there was such an urgency to his words and his purpose and he just knew I was his ONE and he was quoting scriptures and so needless to say I got swept on up in all the hoo-ha and I felt like I was on a magic carpet ride. In fact I met him on a Friday night and by Sunday night we were a couple....a couple of what you might ask hold on I'm getting to that..... let me take it a step further by Sunday he was already talking Engagement, Marriage, Baby Carriage, and a future together he had set a wedding date, he was saying he loved me he was just all in. Now in the back of my mind I was like something isn't quite right and I can't put my finger on it. While it all sounded nice I would just laugh it off and tell him I wasn't there yet because you know we only have known each other three days so far and anyone that knows me semi well knows I live for the grandeur and pageantry of a wedding so I will talk weddings and rings with you all day long doesn't mean I'm meeting you at the alter though.

I went to my friends of course and I was telling them about him and one of my friends starts telling me about the guy she has been dealing with for just about 10 years because him and Willie happen to have the same birth sign which started to cloud how I was feeling about Willie, then my other friend started bringing in his own experiences which further made me feel some kind of way about Willie because I already had my own doubts and my friends bless their hearts weren't helping me they were confusing me and sending me in a tailspin so needless to say by Tuesday I was emotionally drained and so confused I didn't know which way was up. SO I had to tell Willie listen we need to put the brakes on this thing I don't know which way is up anymore and I was telling him that I had talked to my friends and what all was going on with me well do you know that Willie got to going off, he got mad and starting just ranting and raving and saying he was so hurt which is his go to line to sucker you in to feeling bad and caving in. He went on and on about how my friend was jealous because this sucker she been willingly dealing with for 10 years whom she claims she doesn't really want or like on that level but she stay fooling with him and she also stay complaining and then be like girl what you think and I be like, "oh ha he ain't never going to change" all the while I'm thinking to myself girl stop, you stay frustrated with this chump but you continue to deal with him so why complain but you can't tell grown folks nothing and I've said to her numerous times just leave him alone then she gets mad at me but I digress back to me and Willie.

So by this time Willie is all hurt he over there just fuming I can feel the heat coming through my phone he want to fight my friend by this time and I'm still on the end of an emotional tail-spin so I'm trying to do damage control but at the same time I am feeling relieved and like I pulled my neck off the chopping block at the same time. It also made me question everything I thought I wanted, I thought I wanted marriage, and kids, and all that good stuff but I don't know if I want it right now. I was so sure when the opportunity presented itself I was going to just jump at the chance and just go with the flow but now I'm not so sure. I was also sure that when I met someone who was saying all the right things that everything else would fall into place. Then It hit me today why I am so turned off by Willie its the fact that he is so desperate. He is so desperate to be in a relationship, he is so desperate to be married, and he is desperate to start having some kids. He will be 30 next month so he figures he needs to get started on having his family my thing is though you can't support a family on no part time job unless you absolutely have too. The point is Willie doesn't have too but he wants what he wants right now and he's not moving from his part time nor is he seeking a full time he's happy where he is which is fine because jobs are hard to come by but his dreams of having a family might just have to stay dreams until something else gives.

Willie also comes from a big family so he doesn't see having next to no money or little money as a deterrent we have debated about this several times and he always wants to tell me about his uncle with the 11 kids, but his uncle has been on the same job since he was 18 and I'm pretty sure by now his uncle is at the top of his pay scale and his uncles kids are all 18 and up by now so the kids were raised in better times and the uncle might be more prudent with his money and investments and all that bottom line, you're not your uncle and you still have a part time damn job and no transportation might I add. So while Willie is a good guy he is also a desperate guy he also doesn't have many friends so he doesn't do much but work and chill at home. He wants me to be his bff as well as his women and sooner than later his wife and mother to his gaggle of children.

Willie had me drinking the kool-aid with him desperation can be contagious especially when the person you're dealing with is so sure that you are their one and only and if you don't be with them then their will be no one else so its a do or die situation and you better get aboard with their plan because they are you're one and only as well and you better wake up and recognize that or be left behind at the single station forever. I even tried to convince myself that there was something wrong with me, he had me doubting everything. I kept questioning myself why do I feel this way, why don't I still have the same feelings for him I had in the beginning, what's wrong with me do I even want a relationship, or am I just happy single and I can be single for the rest of my life? The thought had never occurred to me that maybe I just don't want to be involved with anyone. It was a scary thought because I don't want to get to my damn near 40's talking about having a baby or still talking about I'm waiting for the ONE. I had been thinking about the other spectrum for so long it never occurred to me to think on the possibilities that being forever single is an option for myself. I mean yes I have heard all the dreadful black women statistics but in the back of my mind where hope floats I just knew that wasn't going to be me. I feel like I'm stuck between two extremes settle or single forever, desperate means one has given up so that you make a reckless decision because you don't see any other options in your future. I just can't subscribe to that the hope in me won't die and it refuses to allow me to just settle with anyone because I am allowed to be happy AND satisfied with my choices.

Willie is still around but...I'm not really interested in what he's talking about he says I never gave US a chance but he killed it with desperation instead of patience and letting nature take its course he tried to rush something that should have been allowed to grow and now I'm just turned off and over the whole situation. I keep trying to tell Willie he might want to look else where but he's stubborn as a mule so...I let him be but as for me I'm back to my senses and single once again and for right now I'm in no rush to be in a relationship. If it happens cool if not that's okay as well. I thank Willie for bringing somethings to my attention that I hadn't thought of before so everything happens for a reason and Willie just ushered in a new season can't be mad about that.

So this video could be me and Willie minus the I love you's from me but everything else is pretty accurate

DEARLY BELOVED WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY.......

noreply@blogger.com (THE 78' MS. J) — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 19:20:00 +0000

President and first Lady wedding photo

The Definition of Marriage is defined as the following:

mar·riage
[mar-ij] Show IPA

–noun

1.

a.

the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc.

b.

a similar institution involving partners of the samegender: gay marriage.

2.

the state, condition, or relationship of being married;wedlock: a happy marriage.

3.

the legal or religious ceremony that formalizes the decision of two people to live as a married couple, including the accompanying social festivities: to officiate at a marriage.

Now with that clear and concise definition lets discuss some things I know that the general consensus now a days is that Marriage is a failed and antiquated institution that its unrealistic and has not kept up with the times but I don't think people realize that Marriage hasn't changed people have. First let's do a little history when blacks were enslaves we weren't allowed to marry at all it wasn't feasible to have two slaves married they could jump the broom if the owner was more benevolent then most and that was merely a formality because most slave masters raped their women slaves regularly and the so called husband of the slave woman could do nothing about it but be angry, and feel helpless and less than a man because he didn't have the power to do anything to stop it being that he was owned by the rapist aka the owner of the plantation he was enslaved upon. Let's fast forward a bit after slaves were emancipated after civil rights after you could choose to be married of your own free will and actually go down to the courthouse or have a small wedding at your church marriage still meant something it was sacred and vows were being taken seriously family units were still intact and divorce was frowned upon but those days are gone.

Now let's talk about the present which is the here and now men and women now bemoan the prospect of getting married many have the sentiment that it is just a legality, that you don't need a piece of paper to say that you are wed especially when you have been shacking up for years, some just rather have children with each other and co-exist that is your business and I'm not here to change any one's mind nor persuade you because at the end of the day you will do what works best for yourself, as you should. I just wanted to put my two cents in on the marriage topic. It's 2011 true enough but just because the date has changed doesn't mean what I value for myself and the value I place on myself has and everyone does what makes sense to them or what they have grown up seeing. Some women may be fine with shacking, some may just want kids and not the man, some just want to be free to do as they please but have on call penis whatever blows your skirt up cool. As for me and mine marriage is what I want, now don't get me wrong I have seen plenty of marriage that are dysfunctional and just plain out only a legal formality and most def a sham. I have also seen some married couples that were deeply devoted to one another in sickness and health and definitely till death they didn't part and I can't fight what is so etched in my brain and emotions.

Many see marriage as a death sentence a noose around the neck of their freedom but it is so much more than that so much more than the pomp and primp of an elaborate ceremony, it is so much bigger than a 20.5 karat ring and is so much bigger than what people make it out to be in this day and age.You can cut it down to semantics and legalities if you wish but it is so much more then that as well. People getting married for the wrong reasons is the very reason that marriage is getting such a bad rap if you own a record company but all you put out is crappy music your companies reputation is going to take a beating. Marriage is not doing anything to people its people that are getting married for the wrong reasons whether it be because they are in the church and don't want to sin by having premarital sex so they rush into marriage without knowing each other well enough first, or they get married because someone else told them it was what they should do, or they get married because it seemed like it would be fun, or they get married for the kids, or because it will provide more fodder for the reality shows they make their livelihoods off of whatever the reason they are doing it for they aren't going into it for the right reasons expecting it to work out in their favor and lets be real people are so selfish today they refuse to give up the I for the We's and can't figure out what's going wrong. Plus there are some important conversations that need to go on way before you tie your life to someone else's. Its impossible to have a great marriage when you don't know how to be have or be part of a functioning loving unit that is working towards common goals together. It's impossible to be happily married when you don't like the person you're married to, marriage is hard work and you have to show up ready to put the work in or forget it. It also helps if you aren't too damaged as an individual who takes their emotional pain out on other and you are receptive, open and flexible. But then again some folks are marrying the most damaged individuals they can find and wondering why they don't have peace or happiness in their lives I digress though.

They say that hope floats which denotes that hope is made buoyant by its unwillingness to be kept down by anything and that's where I stand on the side of hope for myself and for the institution of marriage even though I have seen the ugly side of marriage even with infidelity being the dish De jour these days I still can't help but want and hope to be married some day. I can't help but think about all those couples who are quietly going about their everyday lives happily married we just don't hear about them because happily married doesn't make news but the bad break-up's and the nasty divorces and infidelities do and even with all that being filtered into my awareness I still want to wake up next to someone day in and day out with whom I share the same last name with. I'm not naive about the institution of marriage I know that it can't be sustained on just love and wishes alone its hard work more than a full time job, but I'm willing to get in the trenches with a husband and fight it out as long as he is down there fighting right besides me. I'm not chasing ideals either I still believe in marriage I still believe in family and I still believe that I want and deserve a marriage some day, a great one so I'm going to hold onto to that and keep that hope for myself alive...and as far as I'm concerned as long as I'm on the side of hope I have a fighting chance and that's fine with me.

WHO RUN THE WORLD?'' FALSE MISLEADING IMAGES OF WOMANHOOD APPRENTLY

noreply@blogger.com (THE 78' MS. J) — Fri, 03 Jun 2011 00:45:00 +0000

Pulls out my soapbox and cracks my fingers, yep again just if you're new around these blog parts my new pet peeve is women in the media that just aren't media worthy. Every time I see a story about well known and widely discussed oft times overly discussed socialites these days or any other arm candy that has become the talk of the world wide web and the media in general I get puzzled and then I do some deep thinking on the attributes of these women. I think about the things they have done to get the limelight attached to their names, and I think about the way that they represent themselves in the media and the public eye and then I think about why the world is so fascinated with them in general. So today after reading yet another story on the Big K and learning that her fiance has inscribed inside of her ring scriptures....yes scriptures and one of those Scriptures is the passage about a virtuous woman. I had to pause and ask myself wait he used a scripture about being a virtuous women did he not see the Ray. J sex tape, did he not see the constant parade of her and Reggie bush in countless ad's and campaigns whoring themselves in every way possible for media attention, does anyone besides me remember the super bowl debacle when she garnered all that undue media attention and she doesn't even play football, did he not see her spread in playboy, Or did the meaning of virtuous change along with everything else in this world?

Which drove me to write this post and to see if the definition of virtuous had indeed changed and it seems it hasn't:

so the definition hasn't changed so again who is this virtuous women that he speaks of? Sure everyone has a little dirt on them none of us are living in the age of virtue but going as far as calling someone virtuous when she clearly isn't is an insult and a slap to the face of anyone who is trying to live on the right side of morally sound and it negates the efforts of those who are trying to be truly a good woman. If people who follow this chick and her klan religiously see that this dude who is so wide-open off her kakes he is calling her virtuous then what do you think that will drive these women to do? They will be on that Big K plan to land themselves a big fish and that's what worries me. There is no warning, no kind of censorship, no kind of explanation, nothing to tell girls and young women who follow this family that this is not an ordinary lifestyle and these aren't the real representatives of true womanhood. Now I'm sure the big K has some good qualities she even learned to cook ethnic foods for R. Bush but I can't help but think that at the end of the day she is still playing a character. There have been numerous reports of her wanting to be married again for like the what 4th time and how she is dying to have someone change her last name. So what lenght will she go to just to have that happen, well we see what lenghts she goes too by her putting on her get him to the alter cap and doing her damnedest to be the woman he wants to marry and it has worked. Someone should tell her that what you do to catch him is what you will have to keep doing to keep him I digress though. I'm sure she will be documenting the entire wedding process and then she and the new hubby will have their own show being the Humphrey's. I frankly am glad that the chick is getting married and personally I don't know her and I don't want to meet her I just would love for her not to be news worthy because she isn't news.

If the media wouldn't make such a big deal out of these women I wouldn't have such an issue with them but every time they fart or queef they don't need to make the front pages, or the blogs. They aren't that interesting they are really boring and mundane. They shop, they wear a lot of make up, they make appearances, they have reality shows, and they have clothing companies and then what? How are they changing the world for the better? How are they empowering and uplifting society or the world? How are they using their name for good? Then they have two more sisters that are following in their footsteps so there really is no relief in sight. I really feel sorry for the girls who grow up inundated with the women of TV when more children are being babysat by televisions and not parents its hard to contradict the constant bombardment of worthless lifestyles that are paraded out as ideal living. If all you see is the big K and the big B on your screen or the big R what will you aspire to be like, these will be your roll models and not just in America but overseas as well. Millions of little girls are selling their souls or thinking they aren't pretty enough or sexy enough because they don't meet the shadow that these women cast. I don't want my niece to grow up under the influence of these women, I don't want her listening to their songs, watching their shows nor wearing their products. I want my niece to be studious, smart, independent, a thinker someone who will stand up for herself and others and champion the causes she believes in because it feels right within herself to do so. There is no virtue in aspiring to be like a false idol, there is no happiness in the rainbow of these make believe women that lie with their very images on the idiot tube for the world to fawn over.

Again I just wished the media would stop holding up the images of these women to the world like they should be women to emulate when they aren't. Besides there can only be one B, K, OR R just like there is only one Jordon and one Kobe so why would you want to aspire to be like them anyway make your own lane and drive in it, its so much better that way.

THIS IS FOR ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS WHO AREN'T PRETTY ENOUGH TO GET BY ON JUST THEIR LOOKS

noreply@blogger.com (THE 78' MS. J) — Thu, 26 May 2011 20:50:00 +0000

Real Rosie-the-riveter's-1938, real women working

It's a rare thing when I have to write a 2nd post in the same day but what bugs me and what's prompting me to write this post is one of my super pet peeves which is females who get to get by off of bullshit. I'm not talking about smiling and getting an extra donut or getting anything upgraded because the guy giving it to you thinks your sexy or cute no I am talking about the women namely the ones in the media who have the whole world at their beck and call because they look a certain way. I guess I grew up around people who had to work for everything they had and the words those that don't work don't eat are ingrained into the very fiber of my being so it is more than irksome when you have women who society deems as beautiful, sexy, pretty, etc getting fame and fortune from doing nothing but breathing and dating men with fame and money. Just because she is with such and such or just because she looks good when you photograph her, but really these women don't actually do anything. They are glorified arm pieces women of no substance just smoke and mirrors. It wouldn't bother me so much if these women were kept in their little glass cases and trotted out like race horses to stunt with but when you have real women doing real things who don't have the time nor the resources to have a glam squad on call or don't have the benefit of a rapper, professional sports player or millionaire on their team but they are shunned or looked over because they don't have the looks of these females its more than dis-hearting and it makes me real salt lake city.

Real women are out here busting their hump everyday and instead of getting even a little bit of praise or encouragement for it they are ignored and we won't even talk about how that's broke down by skin tone, nor economic disparities I digress but because they aren't running around shopping in five inch stilettos, or shaving their heads completely bald and sleeping with quirky egomaniac driven talented rappers, or making sextapes and then parlaying that into a whole host of wack ass reality television. I get it beauty will make you invade countries, it will set in motion a whole lot of things but beauty does fade eventually and if the interior is not as beautiful as the exterior then men just stay buying into and putting up with bullshit just so they can have an arm and conversation piece like a pretty vase that one would have at the entry way of their abode. I wish I could pretend that the majority of society was enlightened and aware of the bullshit that the media forces down the throats of Americans and calls it news or entertainment I wish real people who did real things and had real talent where news and just as important as these folks who don't really do shit but dress and pose. I want to know when the infatuation with smoke and mirrors is going to end? I want to know when real women will be able to be regarded just as highly as these barbie doll puppets?

Maybe its just wishful thinking but the current state of affairs on how women are regarded is a load of crap to me and I can't go for it. I blame these men who put these hoes on, you sprinkle them with a little notoriety and the next thing you know she being called an Icon. BITCH what? What movement did you start? What body of work have you done that has your name attached to it that makes you an Icon? What is your definitive defining moment? I would really be on some live and let live in this piece save for the fact that every where I turn these same smoke and mirror bitches are being lauded in the media for their next breath or because they were in Macy's or because they walked down the street with a half eaten bagel if it wasn't so much all the time constantly then I could dismiss it and keep it pushing but I just can't ignore the fact that garbage is constantly being shoveled in my direction and down my throat thanks to the media and its not just television its also the print media. Exceedingly the print media if you have nothing else to write about at the end of the day but these hoes then life needs to be reexamined and maybe you might want to think about jumping out the window. I wish Michelle Obama was written about just as extensively, I wish Aretha Franklin, or Kiki Sheard, Tamia, Lalah hathaway, Lalah Ali, Amel Larrieux, Jazmine Sullivan, Amber Riley, Chrisette Michele (whom I have seen perform at the house of blues btw and let me say she is such a beautiful bright shining example of real beauty and real talent she was worth every cent I spent to go see her and that wasn't much considering I got the dinner and show package) but I digress there are far more talented women out in the world who deserve more shine and attention and I just wished collectively as a society we would focus less on the superficial nonessential whores who don't do shit but suck, swallow, and fuck well but in turn they are rewarded with attention and status.

That doesn't sit right with me and it shouldn't sit right with any woman that knows she is doing the best she can and she can't even get a we appreciate you, or a spa day, let alone some recognition for all that she does and endures throughout her day on a regular basis. So ladies I challenge you to turn a blind eye to these worthless hoes and start putting your own brand of awesomeness on display lets start our own real woman project. Lets get a tumblr going where real woman can submit their bio's, their pictures, their writing samples their poetry, their artwork, their songs, their videos, their any and everything. I'm tired of seeing what I hate and can't stand so lets inundate them like they inundate us except with real women who are doing real things. Even if you don't have a corporate job or run a fortune five-hundred company even if you are a student, or a stay at home mom, or a single mother raising however many kids you are raising on your own I want you to submit your info to the tumblr I am going to build it so you guys will come. I will be setting it up and then I will be putting the info every where so lets do this ladies. Let's showcase our awesome and tell the world that real women are a thing of beauty and they need to be showcased and applauded more so then these females that don't do anything but breath. I hate this cliche but its too often said that you have to be the change you want to see in the world, so what say you ladies are you ready to be the change in the world?

INTERVIEW WITH THE AMAZING ARTIST SALANA SALAMONE

noreply@blogger.com (THE 78' MS. J) — Thu, 26 May 2011 15:00:00 +0000

this picture found on the web from soucherayart.com

I am so excited to present to those that read my blog and those that happen to chance upon it this great artist I discovered off of Tumblr she has some amazing talent as you can see from the new amazing artwork my blog is sporting Ms. Salamone drew my artwork up for me just off of me telling her what I wanted and what I envisioned and she captured it perfectly plus she was super patient and super nice never flipping out on me even when I asked her to revise something or add something she stayed patient the whole entire time. So without further ado I present the interview I did with Ms. Salamone and if you guys want to commission any artwork from her, her information will be below.

So give us a little background into the artist that is Salana Salamone:

Okie doke, Well there isn't much about me. My names Salana Salamone, 22, and im from Brooklyn New York. ( ill attach a picture of myself for you guys )

Did you have formal training? If so what schools did you attend and what courses did you take?

I did not, i would have loved to have gone to art school though.

Where does your love of art stem from?

Im not sure really, maybe my dad. Ive been scribbling ever since i was about 3 and my dad would sketch often so it might have sort of stemmed from that.

How did you get started with art?

As far back as i can remember i think it was when i was in pre-k. During naptime i had sneaked over to where the paints and markers were and had " decorated " the wall behind the cubbies. It was apparently so bad they called my dad in to the school later that day to see what happened and probably give me a proper scolding. First he said it was beautiful, then he asked what the teachers were doing while i was at this , lol. Ever since then my parents supported and pushed my interest in art.

Your artwork has an edge to it, it’s raw and urgent and it also isn’t traditional, can you tell us what makes you do the images you do and why these particular images are a recurring theme in your work? How does the particular style of rockabilly, and pin-up girl scenes inspire your artwork?

Ive always loved cartoons and comics, i like the bold imagery and color, and especially with comics you have a confined space to tell a story. Which spills over into my love for pinups, i like the more humorous ones, they're still naughty but they still convey a little bit of a story to the image and i like that. I have loved rockabilly ever sine the movie Crybaby, the whole style reminds me of really great cheesy pulp comics and the funkier side to 50's glamor.

Your artwork is primarily female images do you think that feminism greatly influences your work?

Definitely, in everything i do! Feminism is a huge thing for me , but with art i think it just sort of happens by accident. I don't really sit there and say ok im going to draw a woman, it just rarely occurs to me to draw anything else. I love gender swapping art as well.

Do you have artist that you love, that have inspired you and your work if so who are they?

Oh boy, so many , too many to name. I will mention Mitch O'Connell, Mark Ryden, Todd Schorr, Megan Besmirched, XNO, Lisa Petrucci, Anthony Ausgang. Just lots and lots of great artists.

Do you see yourself opening an art gallery of your work anytime soon? What other things are in the works for you and your artwork?

I would love to be in a show sometime in the future, i want to branch beyond pinup but still include it as a theme in my work. Down the line id like to maybe start my own web comic or get more involved with something more crafty like sewing or sculpting.

For the young artist out there struggling trying to make a name for themselves what advice would you give them?

Id have to say that i think that some artists that are trying to put their foot in the door worry about doing whats mainstream or commercially appealing, and at its root that's not what art's about. It's great to experiment and try new things but always do what you love and work at perfecting your own style, that's what will gain you the most recognition.

As a female artist do you feel like you have any pressure to be better than your male contemporaries? Do you feel like you get the respect for your work that you deserve?

I think with artists the field is fairly even, ive seen so many women acclaimed for what they do and have rarely seen a woman, ( or man )'s work, snubbed for another artists. Unfortunately there are some people who see this as a career of one upping the next guy. And to them id have to say that i see this more as a community. It shouldn't be cut throat. I like to think that we are all inspired by each other in some ways and should support one another and grow from this.

As an artist who is still not quite mainstream yet do you think that you would like to do bigger venues and have more recognition or are you happy that you are growing slowly and gaining recognition with your talent?

Definitely growing slowly. Rome wasn't built in a day, i have a long way to go and lots of room to grow. But thats a attitude i always want to have with this, that its a career where you are always learning, always improving.

What are some things about your artwork that sets you apart from all other artist?

I think my tattoo flash, ive been told here and there that its pretty quirky.

What mediums do you incorporate into your works?

At the moment not much, im not trained in any traditional mediums. Still getting the hang of photoshop. Sharpie is about as exotic as it gets right now.

For those that want to commission some artwork from you how can they get in contact with you, and what kinds of artwork can be commissioned from you? If they want to see some of your artwork beforehand where can your digital art portfolio be found?

For those interested in commissioning work from me can contact me preferably via email, SalanaSalamone@hotmail.com. My forte is pinup but im open to new ideas and pretty flexible. My work can be found on Facebook ( under Salana Salamone ), Deviantart.com ( under GothicFeverDream ) and Tumblr ( Salanasalamoneart.tumblr.com )

JUMPING THE BROOM, SHOULD BE CALLED PRETTY PEOPLE F____ERY INSTEAD

noreply@blogger.com (THE 78' MS. J) — Mon, 16 May 2011 03:18:00 +0000

I saw this movie last weekend and I wasn't even going to comment on it because I understand the value of just going to see a movie purely for entertainment purposes, but this movie doesn't rest well with me and I will give a list of reasons why not so here goes. Now I know that this movie is purely fiction and a work of someone imagination and black actors in hollyweird need to stay working by any means necessary, I know that the author of this poop is allowed to have a creative license but this movie is so been there and done that its just recycled spanked down garbage.

My first issue with this movie is that Paula's character is sitting on the edge of the bed and she is striking a bargain with God that if he finds her a decent man she will not share her goodies with no one else but her husband. Okay so lets get a show of hands of how many times you have made the same bargain with God and he certainly hasn't delivered laz Alonzo or any other dreamy marriage material type into your laps yet, yeah that's what I thought. Let me not even start on all the women who aren't passing their cookies out at all and are celibate who have yet to meet their "husbands" or anyone decent to date yet, I digress let us continue.

2nd Issue she almost kills a man with her car....blank stare alright how many of you have almost or did hit a pedestrian and they didn't try and sue your ass or fight you in the streets? How many of you actually knocked the guy down then proceeded to pounce on his and push him to the ground over and over again in his nice suit? Anybody? No I didn't think so either.

3rd thing they have been dating for all of 5 months she gets a promotion to Japan which means she will have to leave, the only part that was fact in the whole movie was that long distance relationships are just not feasible for most you have to be extremely patient and damn near a saint to be someones romantic pen pal so I agree with Laz Alonzo's character on putting the kibosh on the long distance idea. However he ruins it all for me when in the next breath you have El Debarge sitting in the middle of New York across from a theater singing with a piano and a chandelier on top of the piano how much money do these damn buppies make? Don't they have to get some kind of permit for a street performance and I'm sure that cost a pretty penny. So now after just knowing each other for five months you're engaged.

4th thing next thing we know they are planning the actual wedding and the bride has yet to meet the mother of her fiance yet. Blank stare again, so let me get this straight when you fall in love everyone forgets that you are not just marrying a person you are marrying their family as well, that means you inherit in-laws and frankly from someone who has some in-laws I would have preferred it if I had of met these people first and pulled my brother aside and gave him a word of caution not saying that would have helped but damn man really? Marriage is the joining of families until death or divorce parts you. Now if you are one of those new fangled folks who throw off tradition and be like its just me and my honey against the world then cool, I hope you got babysitters lined up, and grandparents, aunts, and cousins substitutes as well because that's what you forfeit when you cut family out of the mix but those with money don't need family until the money is gone right? Shrugs moving on....

5th thing Master P's son little Romeo say what now....you really feeling the cougars like that Romeo? I mean we know you love to take your shirt off and pose with all the little YT girls down at USC or whatever school he's at and we know you probably stay getting it in but fact remains that you will always be little romeo and I just didn't buy you as a bougie upscale negro you didn't come across well on the screen to me and of all people they put your character up against a seasoned actress like Tasha Smith, boy sat down and keep sitting unless you plan on taking some drama lessons you are not getting it, you're just not.

6th thing The cougar lust with the kiss....blank stare again I shouldn't even have to go into it but yea no thank you and shut the front door. Just the fact that Romeo's character was 20 and Tasha's was I'm sure well into her 40's made the kiss scene a little to much to bear It was like watching two homeless old men with no teeth reeking of urine and covered in fecal matter and vomit covered in oozing pusting sores have sexy touchy time on the beach....if that description made you feel gross inside then welcome to my world via that kiss which I actually covered my face for.

7th thing the disrespect and lying Laz Alonzo did to with his momma now I blame him, if he had of had a talk with his mother awhile back and tried to explain to her that he had his big boy pants on now and he no longer need her to be the only woman in his life then he wouldn't have felt like he was being pulled in two directions by the two women that were important in his life, he kept avoiding the matter until it blew up in his face. I blame him for that, yes its hard as hell for a overprotected only son to tell his momma that he can no longer be the center of her world but its something that has to be done eventually or you will always have that Jim Jones and Nancy Jones syndrome going on. If you don't want your little boy to grow up and be a sorry ass mommas boy you are going to have to cut the apron strings eventually. Again harder said then done but the moment a man gets between another woman's legs he needs to sever that clingy mother son relationship.

8th thing all that bougieness, her family owning slaves, all that looking down on people, speaking french over folks heads so they won't know what you talking about is what keeps black folks divided and as long as you have some blacks folks thinking that they are better than others then collectively we will always be fighting each other.

9th When Paula Patton's character found out she wasn't biologically her mother and fathers child, well duh. Come on now if she couldn't figure that out for herself....but ignorance is bliss. I couldn't feel sorry for her because she still grew up rich, she still was having this lavish wedding, she still was educated and still gainfully employed, she still at the end of the day was getting everything she ever wanted, she still had a privileged background nothing changed. Yes it wasn't right how she found out, yes it was a little hurtful but she is a grown woman and you can't unring that bell whats done is done so.....all that falling out and running away and blaming her fiance was so drama I understand they needed something to advance the movie but come on it wasn't that big of a deal.

10th all that what she didn't want at her wedding no electric slide, no jumping the broom really hex? Who goes to a wedding to not enjoy themselves? Again granted it was her wedding and she can have it anyway she wanted it but come on no line dancing even white folks have traditional dancing they do at their weddings whether it be a waltz or a slow dance or a country line dance smh come on man y'all killing me.

All these reasons made me side-eye the damn movie screen the whole time the movie was on and to say the least the movie was more than a little depressing because how is Paula's character going to instantly get her prayers answered when I'm sure other women have been far more faithful and prayed harder then she has and still haven't gotten their prayers answered. This movie was a vapid piece of fluff strictly for the pleasure of showing pretty people on screen. Nothing more and nothing less there wasn't even a message in as far as I could see so if you like sweet with no fill then this movie is for you otherwise if you haven't seen it you're not missing anything wait for it to come out on redbox and save yourself that admission price.

black on black on black

noreply@blogger.com (THE 78' MS. J) — Sat, 07 May 2011 08:46:00 +0000

black on black on black by the78msj on Polyvore.com

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SOME SUNDAY THOUGHTS.....

noreply@blogger.com (THE 78' MS. J) — Sun, 03 Apr 2011 20:47:00 +0000

Is your moral compass broken?

Infidelity, living in the grey, broken moral compass, living in denial, avoiding the truth, sticking your head in the sand, turning a blind eye, putting up a facade, fronting, lying, cheating, stealing, etc I've never been attracted to any of these particular qualities. I never even indulged in any of these qualities because the plain truth of the matter is everyone around me has always used them excessively their characters are built on these shaky foundations. The only thing I could ever do is cling to the truth, the unpopular, stringent, hurtful, but necessary truth. I've even gotten in trouble when I was younger for telling the unmitigated truth because it caused friction in church social groups but as a teenager you aren't supposed to carry what you hear to the parties being discussed that is what they call getting into grown folks business it also gets you labeled as a troublemaker and then the blackballing starts but lessons learned are character builders. Now when I know something I keep it to myself and just shake my head or better yet when someone tunes their mouths up to start talking about something I don't wish to hear I walk away out of earshot.

I truthfully don't wish to be any ones confidant I don't like secrets, I don't do lying, and I can get in trouble all by myself I don't need anyone to help me do that. The less I know about your sordid affairs the happier I am, I'm not the girlfriend who loves the sordid details and don't expect me especially to root for you when you're sleeping with someone else's man or husband/wife or woman I might not say what I really want to say to you because people are grown and they make choices, but here's what you can't do with me, you can't cry on my shoulder about how much you love someone else's spouse and expect me to comfort you and tell you it will get better, you can't ask me to help you plot out how to get him away from his current so he or she can be all yours, and you can't ask me to come to any type of function that you throw for this said man/woman like they are yours exclusively and you will most likely notice that I am distant and we don't hang out like we used to and the phone calls have gone down to none and you can't figure out why its because you're doing something I can't support plain and simple. I know people might say well that's not a friend, but sometimes you have to love people from a distance especially when they are willingly and willfully doing something that is hurtful or harmful to themselves and others. I can't be a witness to your self destruction and some people honestly think there is no harm in cheating if you don't see anything wrong with it then we are already at a crossroads but if you get to rock bottom and you feel like you need help getting back on track then call me up, but until then it best that I love you from a distance. If you want to live in a bubble where you can pretend that your actions don't effect others then so be it but you should also keep your own counsel stop trying to bring others into that dysfunctional twisted bubble you call life that's not fly and its not right but I digress.

I said all that to say if you deal from a place of truth even when its painful you will have no choice but to make decisions based off the truth. If you force yourself to see things clearly as they are and not as you wish them to be then your choices can be defined in a way that will allow you to choose the best course of action. I know everyone has their coping mechanisms but for me its always been A or B, BLACK or WHITE, RIGHT or WRONG, I don't live in shades of grey I don't run from myself and I don't lie to myself or others. I also may know that you are a liar but unless provoked and serving some higher purpose I won't call you on it. I like to be entertained just like the next person and there is nothing more entertaining then a liar but I also know if you lie you will cheat and if you will cheat you will steal those kinds of people are held at arms length and watched with a careful eye. I know way to many liars, cheaters, thieves, and people who are in denial about their lives in general. Someone has to be the one to stand on the side of truth with some kind of moral compass if no one does that then we lose sight of what's real and get swept up into a stream of epic crooked proportions and what not. Living in fantasy is not something I intend on doing so maybe I was set amongst these types to be a sort of lighthouse so if they ever get to far gone and need a way to get home then they can head towards the beam of truth and the rocky shores of morality, not saying I'm perfect but I tend to stay on the right side more often than not, and I always keep in mind that the good book says you should treat others as you wish to be treated with that firmly resounding in my head how could your or I do anything other than just that and why wouldn't you want to?

GET THE BYPT ANDROID APP FOR YOUR PHONE

noreply@blogger.com (THE 78' MS. J) — Sun, 03 Apr 2011 04:52:00 +0000

So lovely readers and those that happen to stumble across my blog if you're interested I have made a lovely app for this blog that you can scan with your ixMAT Scanner if you don't have one put that exact name in the android app store and get that precise scanner then you scan the bar code and bam you will have my nice little app for your phone neat right? Scan the bar code and get my app simple as pie.

THE AWFUL PRICE OF FAME

noreply@blogger.com (THE 78' MS. J) — Sat, 26 Mar 2011 01:15:00 +0000

White celebrities move in a space of white privilege that allows for both forgiveness and forgetfulness on behalf of the ever-present mainstream media machine. This is a space that Black artists are shut out of. As racial identity continues to be negotiated through images and representations, Black celebrities continue to be subjected to the deeply embedded archetypes and stereotypes of Blacks in this country. Read: Chris Brown as the “angry black juvenile delinquent” and Janet Jackson as the “hyper-sexualized, overly promiscuous black female.”

Excerpt from the article "How many times should a black man apologize" click the link to read the whole article when you get a chance.

So unless you live under a rock or you just don't give a good shit you've been inundated with all the C. Brown hubbub this week, all the water cooler and gossip site discussions and of course all the news anchors weighing in with their opinions and all the talk shows that other celebrities have went on and of course anyone who's had their 20 minutes have voiced their opinion about the whole thing. When it happened initially I was like um so he flipped out at a news show, he going back to jail those were my immediate thoughts but as the week has went on and I have had time to think about the incident and just reflect on C. Brown in general I've realized somethings that I don't think a lot of people have stopped to think about.

1st thing I realized is I have three brothers and all of them have been teenagers and two have crossed the threshold from being teens into young adulthood. Now with saying that it made me reflect on my brother who is turning 21 this April and how he thinks, no he knows he is grown even though he still has to rely on my parents for his financial support but he figures he is grown because his voice is a little deeper, there is hair on his nads, and he can get in a car that he didn't pay for and just go where ever he feels like he wants to go in his mind that equals grown sometimes he plays a gig and makes some money but its not money that will sustain him like a 40 or 50 hr work week will. My point largely is this like my brother Brown feels like he is a man, he feels like he is capable of making his own decisions at the end of the day and largely he is right. A handler or PR agent can not control his client like a puppet if Brown wants to flip out he will and no one can stop him so a PR agent would have to be mighty powerful to totally control the actions of the client that is paying him. If my brothers don't listen to me then how could you expect Brown to listen to a PR agent plus thank goodness my brother is not known on a grand world wide level either so his mistakes barely make a ripple but Brown doesn't have the same luxury.

Brown lives under constant public scrutiny largely because of his occupation but mostly because the world and the media have branded him basically an animal who is out of control a danger and a menace to society another black reckless youth with money. I watched as the media who had given Brown his spotlight turn right around and stomp all over that said limelight and literally try and crush Brown like a bug beneath its collective toes. He was shut out of media events, he was banned from award shows, dropped from endorsements, his album was ignored, radio stations weren't playing his music, the media as a whole was punishing him taking money out of his pockets and turning its back on him. Now correct if I'm wrong but through this whole incident he didn't once out Rhianna he didn't talk bad about her he didn't throw her under the bus, but every chance she got she was on every talk show, getting endorsements left and right and overnight the world embraced her and shunned Brown. I think he showed grace under fire during the whole trial, the whole incident he owned up to his mistake, he did his anger management and he is paying the restitution that the court meted out but It's like he hasn't bowed down enough and not the way the world feels like he should so the media isn't finish punishing him for his misconduct. We live in very public times everyone is tweeting, facebooking, blogging, tumbling, youtubing their every step, their every whim, their every moment hoping to be in the limelight or get discovered. The crazier your antics the more you are rewarded with attention. Look at Rebecca Black her video is AWFUL but the whole world knows her name, billions have seen her music video she has been interviewed and the girl has no talent but how much you want to bet it has opened doors for her and pretty soon I'm sure she will have her own Disney show called it's Friday mark my words this is the way the world is working now.

How many times has a child that has worked on Disney done something like release naked pictures, self destruct, smoke weed, sleep around, act reckless, steal, do drugs, drive while drunk, play ring a round the rehab and jail? But the media embraces that kind of behavior it's like you can have reckless destructive behavior as long as your skin has no melanin in it because the wall of white privilege

Everyone wants fame but I don't think most recognize that with fame comes constant scrutiny and that is the price of fame now, if you become a star its an unwritten rule that you are signing your life over to the public which means you have to know that everything you do will be watched and analyzed until your relevance is over. It's like being a brand new discovered germ you will be under a microscope and studied and dissected and cut open, prodded, poked, provoked just so you can be fodder for the rabid media mass consumption that's the huge draw back to fame the moment you do something it is magnified 1000 times over and people you don't even know like me for instance will have an opinion on your actions how crazy is that? When I make obscene amounts of money I will not be under the scrutiny of the world no one will even know who I am but that's the way I like it you can keep the fame just give me the loot!

THIS IS WHY I TEND TO TUNE THE WORLD OUT

noreply@blogger.com (THE 78' MS. J) — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 00:30:00 +0000

Graphic from Three wise monkeys

Okay the week hasn't even gotten started good and already here are some of the things I'm sick of hearing about:

1. How Charlie Sheen is winning: Charlie Sheen will keep being an asshole with a drug problem because way to many people profit off of it. He will keep doing whatever he wants and everyone that let's him get away with and cheers him on enables him.People might be laughing and shaking their heads and saying, "Well he's just ya know Charlie Sheen that's just what he does" enables him to keep acting the way he does. Why should he change its way more profitable for him to be unstable and crazy. He is a drug abuser, and a woman abuser but how quickly that is forgiven it's because no one released the pictures of the women he has assaulted Nice America that of course is called Winning, Duh.

2. How Poor Rhianna suffered: Last time I checked she went on to turn that situation into a mound of money and frankly her career would have ended long ago if it wasn't for that incident. They both where still young when it happened they both most likely were hitting on each other all the time, hit each other, shout and fight then have rough make up sex its what young people do. Her voice is annoying and that red hair she is sporting makes one think more of a maxi pad during heavy flow then anything else. I know most people who listen to music don't actually listen to lyrics but her S&M song is about being kinky and getting beat on, that turns her on so a little hitting and what not might actually do it for her...I'm just saying some women like to be choked, bit, hit and whatever else it's all apart of their bedroom games the kinkier it is the more turned on they become. No one even knows the whole story behind that incident but everyone still keep buying that chick music out of sympathy. Public sympathy + money + endorsements = she is Winning, Duh.

3. Chris Brown is a monster: Listen he's still so young, been in the business since he was what 14? I'm not condoning his actions but when him and Ri got into it he was 19 right? As far as I'm concerned it was teenage passion gone out of control. I'm sure it wasn't the first time they have gotten into something like that, the dude did his time and he did his mandated anger management but to keep bringing it up over and over is overkill and just redundant. Plus how you bring down one's career but big up another's from the same incident, when you young you make mistakes some of us have the fortune of not being in the limelight where our mistakes were made which means they didn't make a big echo around the world so lay off the dude he can't get right with folks always picking at the sore spot and he needs a better and more aggressive handler, some time to himself and just some spiritual healing or something.

4. Kanye Is an Asshole: Kanye is what Kanye is the man started making money fed his ego, plus his momma died so you got all that going on plus creativity and art and whatever else he into feeding his needs and obsessions. Yes this current Kanye is an asshole because he doesn't have anyone to check him, his check system was put in the ground so...pray for him and hope he get right before he gone in a blaze of glory.

5. Rappers and Ho's. Basketball players and Ho's, Football players and Ho's Regular dudes and Ho's: When you met her you knew she was a super groupie, when you meet her you knew she was passing it out to everyone whomever had the biggest bank was getting to hit anyway they like to. If you are in the limelight and don't know this by now then you deserve whatever you get. Money + super groupies = Child support and sometimes alimony. If you don't wrap it up and get the baby tested before you sign you name on that dotted line YOUR FAULT! Furthermore no one wants to hear about your rants about how your babymomma ain't shit and how she using the child to extort you for money, you should have been more selective before you laid the pipe and skeeted the chick.

Steps off Soapbox and walks calmly off.

BATTLE LOS ANGELES: A BPYT'S MOVIE REVIEW

noreply@blogger.com (THE 78' MS. J) — Sun, 20 Mar 2011 00:37:00 +0000

So okay let's discuss Battle Los Angeles, a couple of things I want to touch on first and foremost I know this movies is in the same vein and Independence day and all other alien invasion type movies. Now while Independence day was a great movie it was more funny than it was science fiction even with the big blow up scenes and big Willie saving the day it just didn't quite give me the same feeling as this movie for a couple of reasons and I'll will elaborate as to why.

I've been to Camp Pendleton, I used to have a boyfriend that was a marine, and I live in the State of California, Southern California to be exact, exactly 45 minutes from Los Angeles, so all of those elements have me invested in the story right away. The fact that they used a real California base and not some fictional place resonated with me because Pendleton is in fact a very much real and active base. I felt empathetic towards the Marines automatically seeing as how they were from Camp Pendleton a place I have in fact been before I've also been to Santa Monica Pier so you see where this is going all of these elements in the story had me some what already emotionally involved now I know what people in NYC must feel when they see a dooms day movie about their state and they recognize landmarks and places that they've just been getting blown up or destroyed on the big screen. In my mind I know its a movie but how many times has life imitated art and vice versa.

So with that said here's what I loved about this movie in spite of some of the lines being a little clichéd and expected this movie still had heart and it had soul. It also put the hardworking members of the Armed forces front and center in this drama and we got to see firsthand how hard they work in a hostile threatening environment. It also should be noted that one of the soldiers that was portrayed in this film had signs of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder which is a very real and debilitating disorder and one that is becoming more and more prevalent in our present day troops. I for one liked that the director felt it necessary to include that in the movie. Whenever I see one of these movies it always leaves me with a sense of impending doom and like I need to learn survival training ASAP you never know what you need to be prepared for in this life.

I liked how Ne-yo and Michele Rodriguez survived to the very end of the movie which is sometimes a rare occurrence in movies and Michele's character did not play a damsel in distress in fact she was right besides the guys kicking alien booty and she was a valuable presence throughout the movie not just dead weight she more than held her own and I loved that. I also appreciated that Ne-yo didn't just have the typical comic relief lines only.

If you are a California native, if you have any friends, family, sons or daughters, spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends in the armed forces then you might want to prepare yourself to feel some kind of way while watching this movie. I found the movie overall entertaining and a good watch something you can go to see in theaters and possibly even buy the DVD when its released. This movie won't set any precedents and it won't rewrite history it will entertain you and give you something to do on a lazy afternoon.

HO'S AND WOE'S

noreply@blogger.com (THE 78' MS. J) — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 17:35:00 +0000

If you are fortunate enough to escape reality tv hell and did not watch the conclusion of Basketball Ho's count yourself lucky. I had gotten sucked into watching that show and I truly hate myself for it I could have spent my time doing something productive or at the very least playing a rousing game of Angry Birds.

Let me sum the last episode up for you in a nutshell, Evelyn "Get naked" Lozada went to see Chad OhnoStinko for the first time and she proceeded to spread them legs the whole weekend letting him beat and skeet the womb until they were both exhausted and spent needless to say the whole weekend was sans panties and plenty of butt nakedness. That aside Jennifer had a birthday and Evenly felt overwhelmed with guilt because Tammy had got all emotional and started gushing about how she was so glad she was back on the come up and back in a relevant circle after being kicked to the curb and shitted on by her ex-husband. She was so happy to be getting shine and a check again it made her weepy well everything was alright until Evenly felt the need to ho confess and let it fly to Shaunie and Jennifer that she had indeed smashed Tammy's husband while he was still married to Tammy. Well that made everyone uncomfortable so much so that Shaunie made Evelyn go outside and confess to Tammy. Well you can imagine that Tammy felt some kind of way about hearing that the chick she was trying to have a friendship with had smashed her ex-husband while they were indeed still married and never bothered to even mention the fact, then to add insult to injury Evenly told Tammy that she was a non factor. Which made Tammy proceed to jump.on.that.ass well you can imagine who I was rooting for.

Then Tammy sadly came to the realization tearfully and to late what we had seen from watching the show and knew all along she was added for comic relief and so these women could shake their heads and say, "well it could always be worst at least I ain't like sad poor welfare Tammy" and that these women really weren't her friends to begin with. All the time she was trying to build and connect with them and they were really pitying her and tolerating her because Shaunie brought her into the circle. I really just felt so bad for Tammy during this whole season I mean if there is a lesson to be learned from this show its that money will make you do all kinds of stupid foul shit, and if you don't have money and you are at the whims of someone who does then you can be bought, sold, and traded like a slave. These women on all these reality shows are sad slaves who are purchased for high priced trinkets and pricey cars thinking they living the life when often times they are just kept high priced ho's living in fabulous properties pretending that they are wifey when their men are out doing any and everyone, knocking up other chicks having whole other relationships and families and these women know for themselves this but yet they claim they in love so they suffer through all the foolishness and plus that cushy lifestyle is a bonus I'm sure. One of the most common themes with these women is how they totally allow the man to dictate their futures and therefore they are in limbo concerning their relationships. I can't for the life of me understand why you would push out babies for these men without having their last names, why would you stay with someone for 5, 8, 10, 16, 20 or however many years just living in cohabitation with them you really have no legal rights you're basically just a room mate that is giving up the booty on the regular.

Where are these women sense of self? Now don't get me wrong I don't ever think a woman should be giving up the goodies for free, because even when you get a low priced car you have to pay for upkeep on it but to get so settled and complacent in their lifestyles and have nothing to show for it if these men choose to replace they asses is just foolish and idiotic. I can't have sympathy for you if you weren't looking out for yourself from jump. While you with this dude make him put you through school, or get you a business, or write a book, open up some kind of daycare but don't just think that the pussy tricks you got will keep this man forever. Instead of being all about him and what he got, get something of your own and instead of getting expensive vacations and shoes get you a degree and something in your own name. We all know when they get tired of the same ole piece they are quick to replace it with a newer shiner version especially if these men are paid. They replace women like they do their rides the ultimate beings that suffer in these type of going ons are the children. The poor children from these unions are nothing more than bitter pawns who get volleyed back in forth between parents who are wrecked with bitterness and hurt it is a good thing that God watches out for fools and babies because without that some of us would be S.O.L for sure.

WHEN WILL THE ANDROID BOYFRIENDS BE AVAILABLE?

noreply@blogger.com (THE 78' MS. J) — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 14:00:00 +0000

Am I the only person who sometimes stops and reflects on how hard it is just to find someone decent that you can clique with in this day and age? I don't think women get enough credit, I feel like there is this giant check-list that men are checking off when it comes to dealing with women these days. She gotta be "independent" she need to have a booty like Buffy the body, or Vida Guerra, and she gotta look like Beyonce or Alicia Keys or your average ambiguous looking chick and then she gotta be able to suck a mean dick like superhead, and be able to take backshots like Pinky I mean really and she gotta be able to at the very least cook some hamburger helper right? We won't even talk about all the knock off Barbie wanna be's walking around looking like a mash-up between a ratchet Barbie and a seed of chucky lovechild doll.

Whenever a guy sees my "don't approach me if you have any of these check-list" on any given social site I always get the "why you don't like (fill in the blank)" or the "Damn baby why you so mean" Or my favorite "Everybody makes mistakes, just because someone went to jail doesn't mean they are a bad person" no it makes you a dumb one because if you were a smart criminal you wouldn't have gotten caught in the first place so really you have already struck out with me just on that alone so just keep it moving son there is no need for the animosity just go away. Listen contrary to popular belief I don't believe that every black male in america has been in trouble with the law. Some guys actually prefer to keep their nose clean and stay out of trouble so why is it wrong for me to want to solely just deal with that faction of the man population? I don't find anything appealing about hood swagger for lack of a better term, I actually find it funny and sad when a guy past the age of 15 is still claiming any type of hood or you got your gang colors on but peep this homie you don't own ANYTHING, you don't even pay rent so how can you claim ownership over a whole block, a hood, or a even a color. That's the most ignorant thing in life to ever want to waste your life on and if you are still a gang member after the age of 20 you are a lost cause plain and simple. Prime example if you are a rapper and you became a gang member because you thought it would be hot to have stars tattooed on your head, and hollar out swoop gang every time you spit a rhyme you fail at life in more ways then one and if you look to these type of people as your role models then you also fail at life.

I have never liked the hood life even when I was in the hood I didn't like the foul shit that went on and I worried constantly about my brothers thank goodness for moving to the burbs without the change of venue life would have been totally different for my brothers so it was a gift and a curse to move out here but I digress. Dope boys aren't appealing, gangsters aren't appealing, crooks aren't appealing, thugs aren't appealing. You know what appeals to me, intelligence, a guy that likes to read or he likes to write, paint, sculpt, he likes to create not destroy. He might wear glasses, he wears button ups and jeans that fit not too baggy and not too tight but just right. He wears grown man shoes, he owns a watch. He's responsible, he's well mannered he knows how to be firm and tell the truth even if its not what you want to hear. He is eclectic in his music taste, he's ambitious, and his mind is always working even when he sleeps. He has a great smile, he takes care of his teeth, he stays clean cut and his cologne does not have to mingle with the smell of cigarettes, weed, or black and milds. He has soft lips that aren't chapped and his hands aren't all raggedy he doesn't have a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He appreciates the little things and he's straight forward and loyal. He has a sense of humor and a wonderful smile.

Now the problem with any guy close to this is he probably doesn't exist or if he does he ain't looking for me, he is already taken, he is a player, or he thinks he is the shit because he is a rare find thus making him arrogant and a jackass in the process. Or he is on some I'm over enlightened my every thought is complex type hype. Yes you can be thinking all the time but not every thought is going to be that deep. You do have to give your brain a chance to relax or you will literally drive yourself insane. Or he is waiting in line hoping (insert whomever makes him hot) will stop loving athletes and fall in love with him. Whatever the problem is I'm not attracting the above guy I just described. It's a fail all the way around I have a check list, the guys have a check list and we just keep checking each other off the list and no one gets chosen which makes this merry-go-round one sad ride. We have build-a-bear why can't we have build-a-mate? How far are we from making clone/AI mates or a android operated booski's how far are we from making that a reality?

THING I PONDER TAKE FIVE

noreply@blogger.com (THE 78' MS. J) — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 13:00:00 +0000

More Ponderment's from my archive some of these questions I seem to keep asking over and over forgive the redundancy as they were written at different times but I guess the same core questions just keep running through my mind...does that make my mind only have one track then?

Why is it more about what's hot and who's hot then it is about who has geniune talent, okay she's the "it" girl or guy for the moment but all it boils down too is they know how to promote themselves better, they are controversial, they will whore for publicity, they keep their name in the public spectrum even when they not doing anything of relevance... if they change partners they are in the news, if they go to the gym without make-up they are in the news...what is it these people actually do? Besides monopolize the media and public streams I love/hate how you can be famous for nothing in this society. Bitches sipping penis colada's are instant stars and everyone gets a reality show...in order for it to be true reality doesn't it have to actually reflect life? Nope, no realness required.

Why is it that Angelina gets to play every woman under the fucking sun? Her look is so distinct I don't care how much M.A.C. you slap on that chick she will still be angelina stop putting her in every damn role possible I know she has a tribe to support but for the love of all that is holy please STOP!

Something I have been wanting to say for a long time...Dondria is a wonderful singer but she has no stage presence what so ever...she is easily forgettable once she get's onstage and she tries so hard but she is not at ease there she is much more personable in front of a camera...I think some significant effort needs to be put into developing her feeling comfortable becoming a star letting her personality shine and just giving her more ease in her own skin. She always looks so uncomfortable and ackward...not hating just stating.

Why is it that some people are just larger than life their personalities shine brighter than others, they are always confident, and they always are engaging...what shapes these people? They are natural leaders and you always want to be in their presence are they born like this? Has something shaped them to be like this? Is it just natural selection? Where did their confidence come from? Was it their upbringing? Was it something their parents did wrong or right? Can one learn to become like that or is it just inate ability?

With everyone cheating, getting married, getting divorce, fighting to be able to be married...what has the state of marriage become? In my mind the Instituation of marriage should still be held as valuable and something that people should take seriously not just for publicity and media coverage. So should marriage be done away with altogether and everyone should just skeet and delete, and have children with whoever they happen to like having sex with the most...oh wait never mind y'all aready doing that already.

If the road to hell is paved with good intentions then what's the road to heaven paved with?

Why is hoe the color of fine now? It doesn't matter that she has a sextape, she's a porn star, she was a reality star that specialized in sex with both sexes, or she has a herpe outbreak every now and again, you will wife her, you will bed her, and you will have kids with her...so does that make man essentially just nothing more than a penis and if man is nothing but just a penis why is there so much drama over having/being with/ or trying to be in love with men? If man is just a walking appendage then he should just be reduced to an object and treated accordingly. Have women simply misread the truth of the matter? Men have no emotions, they are incapable of such, the only things they are capable of are sex, reproducing, working to get toys to impress women so they can have more sex, and watching sports.

Why does everyone run around spouting all these positive quotes and shit, when in reality its not what you know its who you know, its not where you've been but its where you happen to be standing when opportunity strikes, and clearly you don't need to have talent to make it because its about being in the public spectrum by any means nessacary. So stop with all that talk about making it on your own, and grinding for yourself, its all a crap shoot some people will GRIND forever and never get anywhere and they will die still grinding never having realized their dreams. Life is a crap shoot sometimes you will be the winner sometimes you won't be. So stop selling false hope I realize you try and keep the spirit of man buyont but false hope is both cruel and unnessacary.

THINGS I PONDER TAKE FOUR

noreply@blogger.com (THE 78' MS. J) — Thu, 03 Mar 2011 16:00:00 +0000

Some of these questions are old but they still are relevant far as I'm concerned, but I've added some new ones as well so yep feel free to answer them or just ponder them along with me...

1. How is it that former playboy bunnies, a tell all professional headgiver and a woman that looks like a man and only knew her dude for a month can get married and the world is like awww that's sweet while, women like Shaunie, Monica, and Mashonda got cheated on and left for other women?

2. Why is it okay to not have morals anymore? Suddenly I feel like everything I once thought was right is now all wrong and I'm the one who's odd man out.

3. Why is everyone mad at the women who tell about their relationships with men who are in the limelight or have money? If a man is in the limelight, or has a lot of money then you automatically know if you have sex with a women then its no longer just about you as a man that shit is all about notoriety and how she can profit by any means. Why act all hurt and injured when you directly jumped into that trick bag? Y'all kill me and shit there is no honor amongst thieves. If you are going to cheat and creep with a chick or sleep with a chick and you not checking that chicks credentials then you DESERVE to be put on blast, and furthermore I have no symptom for a man that does not know how biology works anytime you lay down with a woman there is a risk of her getting pregnant or already being pregnant and pinning a baby on you especially if you have money. If you got long green then you should be more selective about whom you are dishing your penis out to, if not just shut up with all the whining and tweeting about it and just pay the child support and keep it moving.

4. Why is it that people can be so forgiving to folks in the limelight but to those directly around them they are the harshest and the most judgemental with? But people they will never meet they fawn over and bend over backwards to shower with praise and accolades, but you can't and don't stop to praise your own child and build their self esteem up?

5. Why is infidelity the new fidelity? When did it become so acceptable and cool to cheat and shit? The fuck is that about? Cheating destroys families and it hurts people, when you cheat not only does it break bonds, it causes problems, it can lead to children outside of your marriage it can cause resentment, it can cause diseases that kill, cheating is not a game its a parasitic form of emotional vampirism but more and more people practice it day in and day out. So much so that now it is becoming a society norm and that is dangerous! But of course y'all don't hear me though.

6. Why is it that entertainers siblings never quite make it for themselves these days? I mean do any of your really care about Ray J or Solange? I mean besides act a fool, cut all their hair off, and just wild out what do these siblings do that's relevant to the world? Why can't they just sit down some where and mellow out and just try some different type stuff like opening car washes or something productive?

7. Once you break up with Janet Jackson like who do you date after that?

8. Why are men still having sex with women like Kat Stacks?

9. With all the statistics about educated well off black women destined to be single and never wed, having diseases, and just really being shitted on by the media doesn't it make you want to say fuck it I give up the ghost and just pretend to be Dominican?

10. Why is it the Governor of California can't manage to balance the deficit of California but jobs and services are still getting slashed left and right?

11. Why is it that African, Chinese, black babies are being snapped up by celebrities left and right, I know its wonderful to have a tax shelter in the form of offspring but what's with all the "ethnic exoticism?" Is it like having your own petri dish where you can watch an experiment up close and personal grow before your eyes?

12. Who green lights the dumb yt movies that make no sense with the awkward looking propensity to be fat yt men in them?

13. Why won't people let the President be great? I mean really the man is trying to do the best he can with what he's got. He's not dumbledor he doesn't have a magic wand he can't change the world overnight and single-handedly he's awesome but not superman so get off his dick and let him live and leave the first lady alone as well she is greatness period. I know its a rare thing to see a black couple in love and making it look so easy but really all the comments about what she wears, her hair, her make-up her very existence just need to stop, but if she didn't have critics we wouldn't continually know just how awesome Michelle Obama really was.

14. Why when it comes to budget slashing the first things they take away affect the elderly, disabled, health care workers, teachers, schools, women and children?

15. Why are law makers so concerned about taking away a woman's right to terminate a pregnancy? Doesn't that make anyone nervous or want to perhaps start taking birth control extra seriously, or how about abstaining altogether since a woman's right to choose is rapidly becoming undone...

16. Why does Meagan Good's character on the game make you want to shank her in real life? Could her character get any worst? Do you think men that watch the show see Malik's problems with her as cautionary or they just checking for Meagan Period because she's sexy?

17. Why won't someone tell Melaine her lacefronts are so horrid and she should visit beyonce's wig crypt and get some better options or go bald, or get microbraids???

18. The chick that plays javon's wife on that show does she really talk like that in real life? I mean she was in the movie ATL but I thought that was just a character if she is really as ghetto as she seems....yikes

19. Why do I hate myself for watching suck ass reality shows about people I really don't care about?

20. Speaking of reality shows Ray J and Brandy good now right? Even though I have utter disdain for Ray J and just an overall disgust for him its sad when him and his sister fight...so kiss and make up guys.

21. Can someone please tell Evelyn Lozada to go ahead and pose for playboy already instead of just getting naked and sending her pics out because the sun is shining...